Will Lindsay Lohan’s probation report reveal alcohol consumption?

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TMZ has one of the most asinine Lindsay Lohan stories this morning. For the past week, TMZ has been taking a different angle with their Linnocent coverage – they’ve stopped being so utterly sycophantic towards The Family Crackhead, and started pushing Linnocent to take the plea deal. The day after Linnocent’s last court trip, TMZ published a story about how her probation report (which is supposed to be confidential) is even “worse” than we know – and that it contains particularly damning information that would potentially ensure Lindsay a jail sentence. This morning, TMZ has an item that they say will be included on the probation report: that Lindsay was drinking that stupid Kombacha tea, the kind with .5% alcohol, while she was wearing her SCRAM. And that’s the SCANDAL:

Lindsay Lohan’s probation report says she’s been drinking fermented tea that contains alcohol — yeah, big whoop.

Sources familiar with the report tell TMZ … Lindsay fessed up to her probation officer … she was drinking Kombucha tea, which has an alcohol content of 0.5% or less … and now the L.A. County Probation Department added it to the list of reasons why the judge should violate her probation and send her to jail.

Lindsay was so bold … she actually left one of her alcohol ed classes clutching a bottle of Kombucha.

That plea bargain’s sounding better than ever.

[From TMZ]

Um, didn’t the crack headed bitch actually get DRUNK while she was wearing her SCRAM? Yeah. It was the night of the MTV Awards last summer. Linnocent claimed someone poured a drink on her, but really she was swilling vodka. And after that, Linnocent was snorting cocaine too. We know all of this. Why is TMZ making such a big deal about the tea? She’s probably snorting lines and doing shots as we speak.

Oh, and Lindsay’s latest john/“producer” has been giving a bunch of interviews to Radar about how LINNOCENT is completely the victim of everything, always and forever. I suggest you read this in the manner I’m offering it: as comedic relief.

The jewelry store that accused Lindsay Lohan of stealing a necklace is destroying her life — just to make a fast buck — says a good pal of Lindsay’s in an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com.

“I see, and I know the truth, says Nathan Folks, the movie producer who cast Lohan in his upcoming crime drama Escaping the Game. “It is hard to watch what this jewelry store is putting her through when she is innocent. They feel justified destroying her life, just to make a buck, it’s really terrible.”

As RadarOnline.com has previously reported, Lohan, 24, has pleaded not guilty to felony grand theft charges after being accused of stealing a $2,500 necklace from Kamofie & Company, a jewelry store in Venice Beach, California. Folks insists Lindsay is innocent and says the jewelry store simply wants publicity. Kamofie & Co has previously sold the surveillance footage of Lohan in the store at the time of the alleged incident.

“The jewelry store had many numbers for Lindsay, they could have reached her and asked for the necklace. Why didn’t they? It’s a ploy for publicity,” Folks told RadarOnline.com.
“I would like to take this situation and turn it around for her. I brought on Keith Middleton to help her during a crises like this, he does what’s ethical and appropriate, and hopefully he can make a difference.”

Middelton is the director of Lindsay’s upcoming movie and is apparently helping coordinate her legal defense. Folks tells RadarOnline.com that the Mean Girls star will be acquitted and he’s expecting her career to thrive.

“She is talented enough she could be the next Angelina Jolie,” he told RadarOnline.com.

Presuming Lindsay does not accept a plea deal (which the judge has stated would involve some jail time), Lindsay is scheduled to appear in court on April 22 for a preliminary hearing, when, at that time, a judge will decide if there is enough evidence to make her stand trial for felony grand theft.

[From Radar]

How hammered did he sound? Linnocent must give really good (paid) blow jobs.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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34 Responses to “Will Lindsay Lohan’s probation report reveal alcohol consumption?”

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  1. liz says:

    For the last f’ing time: the store did not have to call HER when they realized she had walked off with that damn necklace! Why has the definition of theft become lost here?

  2. Bella Luna says:

    I honestly thought this top picture was Dina…WOW

  3. Quest says:

    I think LL should blame her parents for having her in the first place.

    Where does it stop? Is this freak-show ever gonna end?

    If this was an average-joe we would be wrapped in legal issues so tight our ass would need ventilation.

    This is why “Young Hollywood” is so F**KED-UP

  4. the_blonde_one says:

    I’m (at this point) not interested in anything Lindsey. I would however really like to focus on her sister. There is something terribly terribly wrong there. I’m not sure if it’s drugs, anorexia or what. But, something very quietly is happening there it looks.

  5. the original bellaluna says:

    So, let me get this straight: If I walk out of (insert fave store here) dressed to the nines, in THEIR clothes and accessories, I should expect a phone call, text message, or email requesting said nines be returned?

    Oh, you fey little crackhead. F*ck off, Blohan Clan.

  6. Marjalane says:

    It annoys me that TMZ has become judge and jury on what they report on; They are so biased. Even if Cracky was innocent of every chrage against her, she needs to go to jail for crimes against fashion and hair. That new blonde hooker hair is nasty.

  7. Hautie says:

    Well I much rather talk about those sunglasses.

    The ones that look like Nana Lohan wears after her eye doctor appointment.

    Did Lindsay steal Nana’s cataract sunglasses from her purse? :)

    And until I see the auburn hair. I will never buy into her having cleaned up her act.

    Lohan still looks like a trashy meth head with that blow out blonde hair. And the cataract sunglasses aren’t helping.

  8. Javagirl1 says:

    You never know how vindictive and exploitive a jewelry store can be…that’s why it’s good not to steal from them in the first place.

  9. Lauren says:

    I also thought that was Dina in the first picture. Lindsay looks so old to be her age. Who told her that her hair looks good that color? Just send her cracked out ass to jail. She’ll probably do less than a month in jail and then score some post jail interview to make some quick cash for her next high.

  10. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Hautie – HEY! Nothing blocks out the sun’s evil rays (in the throes of a hangover) like cataract sunglasses! :D

  11. searching4grace says:

    @ Bella Luna

    I did, too. I stared at it for a minute before I clicked on the link thinking…wow. Dina’s looking old.

  12. Isa says:

    This is getting ridiculous. Devastating and shocking: drinking tea. And this is costing tax payers a hell of a lot of money, when they should be going after the real bad guys.

    If this continues, LL will be sueing for damages from both the store and the people. This case stinks, regarding of her being in violation or not.

  13. brin says:

    The Lohans are toxic to everthing & everyone they come in contact with.

  14. Rita says:

    “Linnocent must give really good (paid) blow jobs.”

    You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you have to pay to give one of those blowjob thingies.

  15. Praise St. Angie! says:

    add me to the list of people that truly, for a couple seconds anyway, thought that top pic was Dina.

    she’s not “innocent” when she’s on video walking out of the store with the necklace. She’s accused of taking a necklace w/out paying, and the tape shows that that’s EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID. so, no, she’s not “innocent”.

    and liz (and original bella luna), very well stated. the store lost merchandise, they have every right to involve law enforcement in this. for anyone to use that excuse “they should have called Lindsay to get it back!” clearly is just making yet another excuse for this entitled crack-head.

  16. Cherry Rose says:

    “She is talented enough she could be the next Angelina Jolie,” he told RadarOnline.com.

    He must be smoking the same crack that Lindsay and her family smokes.

    If she is that talented, then why aren’t producers and directors rooting for Lindsay to get better? Why has no one reached out a helping hand to try to get Lindsay roles?

  17. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Omg! That first picture is Dina!!! How the he’ll did Red headed round faced Lindsay end up looking long faced and blonde just like Dina?!?! Drugs obv, but v scary!

    This guy is obv putting her in his movie because Lindsay is paying him in kind….or has given him her drug dealers #

    I can’t actually believe she is in a movie….yet being slated as Angelina J….Hello!!! Wake me up when reality is back on planet earth pls

  18. koala says:

    god she looks haggard.

  19. Ruby Red Lips says:

    To add, do u think Lindsay went to her plastic surgeon after the meth and crack destruction of her face and said ‘pls make me look just like my momma’

    Only explanation I can think of, and Dina is SUCH an attractive woman, not to mention a great role model!! (sic)

  20. lucy2 says:

    “they could have reached her and asked for the necklace”…or she could have NOT stolen it.
    Sheesh, I’ve never seen such a crowd of enablers. Where does she find these people, and what’s she giving away to make them race to defend her like this?

  21. Marie says:

    @Bella I thought the same thing! I was like why the hell does Kasier have a pic of Dina there if it’s a story about daughter crackhead?

  22. Wiggles says:

    She does look like her mom whereas her sister looks a lot like that bastard of a father they have. I just shake my head whenever these stories come up – think I’m desensitized to anything they do. Nothing surprises me anymore with this family.

  23. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    The next Angelina Jolie? Are you frigging kidding me???

    They could have called her, texted her…. for their own merchandise???

    I guess I dont come from planet entitlement and wishful thinking.

  24. Tiffany says:

    As least those big ass horsebutt lips are good for something!

  25. KJ says:

    I love how all these producers/directors who come to her defense are people that no one really gives a shit about. It’s not like Sofia Coppola is coming to defend Lindsay, saying how excited she is for Lindsay to headline her next project. It’s always some shady no name clinger trying to use her infamy to promote their budget work. It’s so transparent.

  26. Roma says:

    Okay Lindsay.

    Let’s say she MAYBE “forgot” and left the store with it. Then why did she proceed to wear it out in Malibu one week later??

    If the first time was an “accident” the second time was obvious theft. And that’s why she’s going to be found guilty, I think. Because she wore it out the second time.

  27. serena says:

    The next Angelina Jolie? AHAHAHAHHAHAH Please don’t make me laugh so much!

  28. xxodettexx says:

    oh the things a spinal tap and/or hair test would show…

  29. Caity says:

    I love how her camp’s excuse is the store is doing this for publicity though this drama has been going on for two months and I still do not know the name of the store. Go figure.

  30. normades says:

    Amazing how she has NOTHING left to loose.

  31. Madisyn says:

    This producer and director are leaches, only trying to do the exact same thing the producer and director of Inferno did. Get publicity by attaching their names to Blohan, then after months of publicity and claiming shes starring in their movie, dump her due to her being in jail or uninsurable!

  32. Hakura says:

    I’m sure this guy is just operating under the delusion that Lindsay is going to have some sort of ‘come back’ that will make her more ‘popular’ & ‘sought after’ than ever. He wants to capitalize on that, so he’s jumping on the train before it leaves the station. This train went off the rails years ago, & the ceiling (coughaddictioncough) is caved in, preventing it from moving forward.

    Basically, he’s an idiot.

    @The_Blonde_One“I would however really like to focus on her sister. There is something terribly terribly wrong there. I’m not sure if it’s drugs, anorexia or what.

    The only thing wrong wth Ali (I can see in these pics anyway) are her eyebrows… & of course being a member of the Lohan family. She’s barely visible in this set of pics, I don’t think she looks overly skinny… My arms are small like that.

  33. Kallan says:

    Sick of the ever continuing saga that is Lindsay – throw her ass in jail already…or not…but please just get her out of my face!! Makes me pine for more Charlie stories!!

  34. Jenny says:

    When oh when will Linz buy a decent bra?