The last time Kirstie Alley did press she was promoting that Organic Liaison diet scheme she had going, which she is in no way an effective spokesperson for. She then pretty much went batsh*t when anyone noticed that her “diet” supplements bore a striking resemblance to the vitamins recommended in the Scientology cult’s rituals, and accused anyone who pointed that out of “bigotry” and “intolerance.”

Well now that Kirstie is promoting her upcoming appearance on Dancing with The Stars, and maybe now that the backlash against Scientology has reached critical levels, she’s not so eager to associate with them. In an interview with TV Guide recently, she claimed to have no idea if Scientology has a newsletter, which is ripe considering that she was interviewed in one of their magazines just three years ago and has personally donated at least $5 million to her “church.”

From 2008, more here:

Here’s what Kirstie said. (Note this was in the issue of TVGuide from March 14-20, but since my local CVS always has out of date magazines I just noticed it yesterday.)

You’re an experienced DWTS viewer. What’s on your list of what contestants shouldn’t do?
I’d like to not have a psychotic break. I’d like to not pull sad stories out of my ass just to pull at the heartstrings of America. [laughs] Watch me do that the first week, crying my eyes out. I don’t want any injuries. I could be into a wardrobe malfunction – depending on what part of the wardrobe it was. [laughs] That could get me points or lose me votes.

Anything else?
I don’t want to do the finger telephone [holds outstretched thumb to her ear and pinky finger to her mouth] and go, “Call, call.” I don’t like the prayer hands [presses hands together and makes an exaggeratedly pleading face]. I’d rather be voted off than beg to be voted for.

Will you get the members of your church to vote for you?
How do I let my church now?

There’s no Scientology newsletter?
Hell, I don’t know. I’ve never done a show like this before.

Recently, so much of your press has focused on your weight. Do you feel like this will help turn the page?
No. I have a theory: When you’re a celebrity and you don’t do drugs or alcohol or bang your neighbor’s husband, what’s the story about you? I once talked to Elizabeth Taylor and she said that of all the things she did in her life, of all the men she was with, the most interesting thing to the tabloids was her weight. I feel like, is that ever not going to be there? I don’t know.

[From TV Guide, print edition, March 14-20, 2011]

Kirstie doesn’t want us to talk about her weight, only she’s made it an issue and talked about it personally time and time again. Only it’s the tabloids’ fault for pointing out that she announced to People Magazine back in February, 2008 that she was going to start her own weight loss brand, then proceeded to announce to People Magazine in May, 2009 that she’d gained 83 pounds. When the National Enquirer ran a cover story on her weight, she urged her Twitter followers to harass the writer and called her “Fair Game.” Kirstie makes her weight an issue and tries to capitalize on it, but when the tabloids point it out it has nothing to do with her, she’s innocent. She’s so innocent and unaware of what’s going on in that cult she belongs to that she uses their go-to method for threatening and harassing detractors in order to go after the tabloids who point out what a hypocrite she is.

Also, how Photoshopped is this bitch on the cover of TV Guide? Here she is on 2/28, 3/8 and 3/10. (In reverse order from newest to oldest. Credit: WENN.com)