Several months ago, I covered the first trailer for the Daniel Craig-Harrison Ford-Olivia Wilde movie, Cowboys & Aliens. I asked whether the film looked like a dongfest or a cheesefest, and I summarized the film as:

So… is the story that Daniel Craig was an outlaw who got abducted by aliens and they gave him some magical bracelet that deflects the alien powers while also wiping his mind of everything, including whores? And then he goes right back into town and Harrison Ford is all “GIVE HIM TO ME!!!” and then the aliens are like “Wazzup?!?” and Daniel is all “Remember that bracelet you GAVE me? Eat it, bitches!!!”

Okay, sometimes I crack myself up. That was a seriously funny description! Anyhoodle, there’s a new trailer, and I’m getting a better sense of what the film is about. This trailer is heavy on the Olivia Wilde, and the message seems to be “If you see this film, we will show you Olivia’s tittays in between the special effects.” Here’s the new trailer:

Too much Olivia Wilde. She’s just not playing at the same level as Danny Craig and Harrison. And mother of GOD, IS THAT SAM ROCKWELL?!? Why isn’t Sam’s involvement being screamed from the rooftops? I’ll go see this movie for Sam.

But yeah, my new summary is: Daniel Craig was an outlaw [with a family and a convenient backstory about how they were probably abducted by the aliens] who got abducted by aliens and the aliens gave him some magical bracelet that deflects the alien powers while also wiping his mind of everything, including whores [like Olivia Wilde’s old-timey, crusty whore character]. And then Daniel goes right back into town and Harrison Ford is all “GIVE HIM TO ME!!!” and then the aliens are like “Wazzup?!?” and Daniel is all “Remember that bracelet you GAVE me? Eat it, bitches!!!” [And then Olivia Wilde gets naked and saunters around a campfire. The end.]

Promotional images from ‘Cowboys & Aliens’.