Charlie Sheen talks goddess replacement, custody battles, and his new anthem

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In relatively good news, Charlie Sheen’s ridiculous Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour (and all of its associated angry fans and walkouts) has officially concluded. However, now that the man has returned to “Sober Valley Lodge” and realized that he’s got absolutely no immediate career prospects and (presumably, even worse) he’s down to just one goddess, he’s got absolutely nothing to do with his time except maybe do some more drugs and complain to the nearest available media outlet that will take his calls. As such, Sheen has spoken about possible goddess replacement, his ongoing custody battle with Brooke Mueller, and his career with E! Online, which has also posted a video of Sheen’s new “anthem” (we aren’t posting it because it’s stuck on autoplay, but you can watch it here), which is a musical collaboration with Snoop Dogg and guitarist Rob Patterson and is entited “Winning.” The song was actually part of Sheen’s tour roster, but the audience booed in response, so Sheen pulled the song but is now selling it on iTunes (allegedly as part of a foundation to help tornado victims in the South) and wants to tell you all about it:

On “Winning”: “Well, the genesis of the song is about, you know, winning…it’s just everything in life,” Sheen tells E! News. “I think Snoop did a really good job at kind of encapsulating the whole vibe of you know the movement. Yeah, and it was taken out and then it was brought back in for the rest of the tour we played it every night pretty much for the end of the show.”

On His Completed Tour: “Overall as a grade on this as a team I think we went 17 [wins] and 4 [losses],” says Sheen. “I know there’s a couple in there that felt sorta phoned in but gave me the inspiration for the following night when it was all passion and lunacy.”

On Replacing Goddess Bree Olson’s: “Probably not today. That’s all I know. Not going to happen today. I don’t know. You know I was pursuing that with all the right intentions and what are you going to do? People bring variables,” says the the motor-mouth. “I mean, depends on who it is.”

On His divorce & Custody Battle: “I thought it was a s–t sandwich,” says Sheen of his last court hearing, in which a judge refused to give him custody of the ex-couple’s twin boys. “Two slices of bread filled with s–t…Seemed like there were rules in place and it seemed like someone didn’t follow them. And there’s no consequences, so I don’t get it. System is broke, you know.”

On “Two and a Half Men” Continuing Without Him: “I don’t know what they’re planning. I’m just plodding along like its over, like there’s some closure,” admits Sheen. “I have closure now because when Chuck [Lorre]…issues a statement talking about…writing shows without me…that feels like it is pretty final, you know? It’s hard.”

[From E! Online]

Charlie goes on to say that he doesn’t know if he’ll ever consider another television show because he “wasn’t treated fairly.” Well, I’m not sure exactly what Sheen’s definition of “fair” is, but making $2 million per episode and being allowed to lock hookers in closets, inhale briefcases worth of cocaine, and badmouth one’s boss and the network repeatedly before getting fired, well, that seems more than fair to me. I think that, at this point, even a great portion of people who initially supported Sheen after he was fired from “Two and a Half Men” have fallen by the wayside. As far as his anthem goes, I was initially puzzled as to why Snoop Dogg would even associate with Sheen, but then I realized that Snoop associates with everything. He makes mashed potatoes with Martha Stewart; he films beer commercials as German folk singer Roy Black; he records records country music and dedicates it to Johnny Cash. So Snoop is somewhat forgiven for his transgressions here, but Sheen? Never.

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Photos courtesy of Fame Pictures

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28 Responses to “Charlie Sheen talks goddess replacement, custody battles, and his new anthem”

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  1. mdf says:

    Would this vile fuck-tard just dissipate into thin air already.

  2. Rita says:

    Personally, I think Charlie’s success with two and half men was coincidental. It’s like a singer who gets a great song. It’s the music and the lyrics that are important and so often the voice is just along for the ride.

    @LittleFatMe-Waiting for you!

  3. Jackson says:

    Oh, is he still alive? It’s been awhile since I’ve heard about him so I thought, maybe?? I wonder if it’s dawning on him yet that no one gives a crap about him or what he has to say or the fact that some generic sitcom he was on will go on without him.

  4. Praise St. Angie! says:

    “And there’s no consequences, so I don’t get it.”

    hearing this come out of his mouth is RICH.

    chuck, you’ve been living your life with NO CONSEQUENCES for how many years now? and NOW, when it’s NOT you in that position, all of a sudden you “don’t get it”?

    just f-ing disappear already.

  5. guilty pleasures says:

    Generally I try to be somewhat positive, but I feel a transgression coming on…
    That remaining ‘goddess,’ is she not, well, kind of homely? I don’t want to google her and gum up my ‘puter with p*nis in b*tt shots, so does anyone know if she shines up good? Even her body seems sloppy and unattractive…
    And Charlie? It will be interesting to see if he can resurrect something here…just how forgiving are we? There is really not much he has not done-yet we hate him less than we hate Jessie James. Is that because we love Sandra so much, and it feels more personal?
    So many questions…

  6. Ja says:

    Well, he would have disappeared already by now if it wasn’t for Celebitchy and maybe few other insignificant blog sites which keep bringing him up for almost no reason. This post is not interesting, it’s waste of words really. Noticed that no one else is writing about Charlie today. Not even Radar or TMZ. So there you go!

  7. ladybert62 says:

    Those “goddesses” dont look old enough to even drive let alone do all the nasty stuff that he wants! Hope he checked their ID at the door or he will be having a lot more legal problems!

  8. Quest says:

    His anthem should be:

    Charlie sucks at everything, he is an ass-sucking-dumb-f%ck with a non-functional penis for a brain.

    Or maybe that should be his motto

  9. node says:

    he needs to get rid of this chick – so fake and ugly, it’s a tragic he hasn’t realized that himself.

  10. meg says:

    LOL It’s kinda telling that the “goddess” that’s sticking with him is BUDGET.

  11. Hakura says:

    @GuiltyPleasures“That remaining ‘goddess,’ is she not, well, kind of homely? I don’t want to google her and gum up my ‘puter with p*nis in b*tt shots, so does anyone know if she shines up good?”

    Actually, I think they’re both reasonably cute. I can’t see too much of their bodies in this picture, but it’s “p*nis in b*tt shot” -free. xD -> http://tinyurl.com/43lpngu

    @Ja“Well, he would have disappeared already by now if it wasn’t for Celebitchy and maybe few other insignificant blog sites which keep bringing him up for almost no reason.”

    Oh yes, I’m sure Celebitchy is entirely responsible for Charlie Sheen’s repeated appearances in the media. Surely *not* his ridiculous, outrageous coke-rants. Come on, the man is a cockroach. No matter how many times you spray him, he just keeps coming back.

  12. rkintn says:

    Unfortunately, this guy seems to have the Hollywood Teflon that we have seen so many others coated with (ie. Lindsay Lohan). Nothing sticks to this guy and I don’t think it ever will.I also don’t think he’s going to go away, not unless he dies and even then he won’t disappear immediately.

    He’s just vile and disgusting and apparently that appeals to alot of people. It’s sad and scary.

  13. original kate says:

    those girls look barely legal. ick.

  14. guilty pleasures says:

    @Hakura, thanks for the p8rn free pic. Yes, she would have been cute sans drugs and lack of self-worth..
    Back to trying to be positive…
    @Ja, we love Celebitchy because things are a little more positive here, but some of the things we gape at are not so positive…nature of the beast! Charlie is about to fade away, hopefully on his way to real rehab.

  15. anony says:

    To change the subject, I’d like to encourage all of you to check out the superb work of Bree Olson. She is quite distinguished in her genre and VERY good in her milieu.
    It’s obvious that Sheen picked her because she reminded him of a young Ginger Lynn Allen.

  16. Charlotte says:

    What a BS article : just puke.
    Charlie will have many successful other professional projects, you like it or not.
    He is in this business since almost 30 years, he knows the game far better than you silly gossip celeb press and pathetic haters.
    As for his tour he had some very successful shows but of course it is so much easier to talk about the bad reviews, even more when you did not go to these shows.
    And the hypocrisy is unbelievable: Snoop Dogg is alright but not Sheen ? Right Snoop was involved in violence, product some porn and had some not always very “girly” lyrics but he is alright ? I like Snoop like i like Charlie but i can’t stand the pathetic bashing hypocrisy of some vapid celeb medias columnist who actually know NOTHING bout these artists.
    Anyway i am looking forward to watch Charlie Sheen futur projects, talented man.
    As for Bedhead celebitchy : i pity you, pathetic you are.

  17. anon33 says:

    Charlotte=Charlie.

    And for the record, wasn’t Snoop Dogg acquitted?

  18. truthzbetta says:

    Snoop makes porn in his basement, admits to having actual hookers in different cities around the country and being a true life pimp (not just in the movies, folks, a real life law breaking scum) and he openly supported Charlie Sheen on TMZ.

    Please check these things first. It’s not a fluke. Charlie Sheen and Snoop Dogg are not that far apart in reality. Maybe you like it better with a beat and smoothe vocals. I for one think that’s hypocrisy.

  19. Mrs Odie 2 says:

    Is anyone still talking about Sheen? No one cares. Yesterday’s news. On to more interesting stories.

  20. Trillion says:

    Whoa. I thought those girls were his daughters. I can’t think of many celebrities creepier than Charlie Sheen. He’s also a crap actor who has a good actor for a father. Nothing more to his “success” than nepotism. Sorry Charlotte.

  21. Nikki says:

    Gosh, this is a funny place to come visit. I get a kick out of coming here.

    Guilty Pleasure…I like your style!

  22. harfang says:

    “Sh*t sandwich” is stolen from the film This Is Spinal Tap. I hope McKean and Guest and Shearer sue him, or give him a swirlie, or something.

    I am really crabby to learn this, but especially the other stuff, about Snoop. I always liked him. He seemed to be getting away with everything while being a nice, funny guy. I must be gullible about famous people or something xP

  23. Hmmm says:

    Chuck and Snoopy- a match made in heaven. Both depraved, both thugs.

  24. Hakura says:

    @Charlotte/Charlie“As for Bedhead celebitchy : i pity you, pathetic you are.”

    Talking like Yoda isn’t making you sound more intelligent, you know. No one asked you to come read here, or is forcing you to stay (which appears to be purely for the sake of bitching about nothing).

    What’s pathetic is your choice of celebrity to defend. Charlie sheen is a mysogenistic, violent, drunken-crack-addicted scum pile who can’t even keep his dogs alive, let alone his children. Apparently you like a challenge?

  25. Hakura says:

    @Harfang“I am really crabby to learn this, but especially the other stuff, about Snoop. I always liked him.

    I didn’t know about Snoop either. I don’t know how, but I never heard about any of that. I knew he rapped about ‘pimping’, but had no clue he really DID it. I’m really disappointed. If you’re gullible, you’re in good company. =/

  26. NoFrank says:

    System is broke, you know.

    I’d say a system that did not give custody of two toddlers to a drug-addicted, barely sane ranting train-wreck of an individual like Charlie is not “broke” at all. Appears to be working just fine, to me.

    Also, Charlie? That should have been “System is broken“. Among other things, I’m glad you will not have dominion over your sons’ grammar.

    And Charlotte must be a ringer. Or Charlie, trying to sound foreign.

  27. gg says:

    Lilo and Stitch everybody.

    Why does the little goddess chick always wear ugly rings around her neck?

  28. Charlie Sheen is finished. It is very sad, but a fact, that he is way out – and empirically there are no way back now. Doing drugs and hanging out with adult actresses makes him further more a lousy father. I feel sad for his children.