Yesterday, we reviewed The Portrait of a Crackhead Catastrophe, otherwise known as Linnocent’s Plum Miami cover shoot and article. Radar had a great preview of the piece, which basically made it sound like Linnocent is too much of a cracked-out mess to even function enough to answer a handful of interview questions (#truth). Now, I get that at this point, the only thing we’re doing is rubber-necking the train wreck and feeding her delusional, cracked-out narcissism, but that doesn’t mean Linnocent doesn’t still know how to bring the LOLs. Take this, for instance: Linnocent was “indignant” that she wasn’t considered for a part in Black Swan.

Lindsay Lohan is definitely not the swan queen. Though she participated in a ritzy photo shoot for Plum Miami Magazine, the 25-year-old actress backed out the accompanying interview at the last minute. As a result, writer Jacquelynn Powers chose to focus on Lohan’s diva behavior on set.

“As we pulled up to the Fontainebleau, a bright-orange parking cone was blocking the entrance. Not accustomed to waiting, apparently, she lowered the car’s window and shouted, ‘Move that cone. I’m Lindsay Lohan,'” Powers recalls. “And it was done.”

Noting that Lohan drank wine while discussing her sobriety, Powers says the Mean Girls star was “constantly looking for drama, whether it was picking a fight with her younger sister…or freaking out over a lost pair of Zanotti heels.”

Frustrated with the state of her career, Lohan said she “took ballet until she was 19 and was indignant that she was not considered for the movie Black Swan,” Powers adds.

Though Lohan abruptly canceled the interview, that didn’t stop her from making the most out of her time in Miami. “Monday morning was supposed to be check-out time, but Lindsay and her posse refused to leave,” Powers writes. “It was like watching the lights come on at a nightclub after-hours — not pretty.”

The most annoying part, Powers tells Gawker, is that “Plum covered all Lindsay’s expenses, including airfare for her and her family/entourage, lodging at the iconic Raleigh hotel in the penthouse suite and all transportation costs.”

[From Us Weekly & Gawker]

Now, I didn’t care for Black Swan, just because I find Natalie Portman’s constipated face completely annoying – and that’s what the movie was, just her little “I have to poop, but I can’t” face, in close-up, over and over and over again. Would Linnocent have been an improvement? Maybe, maybe not. Even if Linnocent had gotten in the door for an audition, she wouldn’t have landed the part. And even if she had landed the part, bitch would have been pink-slipped the second she turned up late and high as a kite (the first day). So we shouldn’t really play the “What if…” game with Linnocent and Black Swan. But this is just further evidence that in Linnocent’s own mind, she should be getting parts like Black Swan, while in reality, Hollywood types are telling her, “Uh… maybe you just start doing porn.”

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.