Linnocent’s Plum Miami cover story is a portrait of a crackhead catastrophe


These are some outtakes from Linnocent’s cracked-out photo shoot in Miami, back in May before her “house arrest” started. You may remember that she flew down to Miami and seemingly partied her ass off for days under the auspices of “working”. Her “work” is now just being a budget, cracked-out model, this time for a cover piece with Plum Miami Magazine. Many people used to say about Linnocent’s photo shoots, “Well, the camera still loves her, despite the fact that she’s a cracked-out mess.” Not so much anymore.

Anyway, I put this in the links yesterday, but it deserves its own post – Radar got the exclusive “excerpt” from Linnocent’s Plum Miami piece. I shall call this article “Portrait of a Crackhead Catastrophe”:

Lindsay Lohan’s lifestyle is brilliantly put to words by Plum Miami writer Jacquelynn D. Powers in an incisive new magazine story titled The Long Goodbye, detailing how the actress showed the author both sides of her personality, for better or for worse, on a recent trip to South Florida.

Powers tells the story of how she shadowed the Mean Girls star for a few days, with a photoshoot and last but not least, an interview scheduled at the end of the weekend trip, prior to Lindsay beginning her 35-day house arrest sentence earlier this summer.

With sharp, unflinching words, Powers described the juxtaposition that is LiLo — ranging from a charming, generous, personable star-of-the-people, to an out-of-control Tinseltown snob constantly on the prowl for the next booze-drenched party.

Upon arriving at the Fort Lauderdale airport, Powers writes: “In the chauffeured Lincoln Navigator, it was all about puffing Parliament Lights and Miami chitchat with her entourage. Lindsay traveled with a revolving pack of pseudo-chaperones, whose most responsible member was her 17-year-old sister, Aliana.”

In another sequence, Lindsay, en route to one of the city’s top hot spots, shows off classic Hollywood arrogance despite being a long way from Sunset Boulevard.

“As we pulled up to the Fontainebleau, a bright-orange parking cone was blocking the entrance,” Powers writes. “Not accustomed to waiting, apparently, she lowered the car’s window and shouted, ‘Move that cone. I’m Lindsay Lohan.’ And it was done. This foreshadowed the arrogance and demanding personality she exhibited as her sweet-girl façade started slipping.”

During another moment of observation, Powers noted that “Lindsay’s aura — while professional — seemed almost melancholy. She was pretty and talented, albeit a little sad and weary. And constantly looking for drama, whether it was picking a fight with her younger sister … or freaking out over a lost pair of Zanotti heels.”

When she wasn’t looking for drama, Powers wrote, she was out painting the town red.

“Saturday was another night at LIV, and all that implies. Sunday was an all-day party in the penthouse and on the beach. When I arrived at The Raleigh at 7 p.m. to conduct my interview, even her handlers were incoherent. Car services were sent and rebuffed.

“Even Aliana departed, but Lindsay wouldn’t end the party … it was like watching the lights come on at a nightclub after-hours — not pretty.”

So how did the interview itself go?

“I never got my interview,” Powers wrote. “My associates and I were exhausted from the constant demands, drama, outbursts, cancellations and tsoris from the Lohan clique.”

[From Radar]

It sounds like… I called it. Most of you called it too, to be fair. This is the kind of thing I think about whenever someone defends Linnocent’s behavior or gives her the benefit of the doubt: she doesn’t deserve it. THIS is how she behaves when she’s around a journalist – a cracked-out drama queen, an entitled little bitch, and a woman who still doesn’t know when to stop. It’s not sad. It’s pathetic, and I mean that in the most contemptuous way possible. Linnocent doesn’t deserve anything – no more “chances,” no more sympathy, no more attention, no more “work”. She’s just pathetic.

Oh, Plum Miami hasn’t released their cover or anything yet, but they did release a “behind the scenes” video of the photo shoot. Someone says something about how they didn‘t want to make Linnocent look like a “bad girl” - “We want to make her innocent and sweet.” So… I guess they did the photo shoot before the interview. BTW: HER LIPS. Jesus, her crack lips are so jacked. I can’t help but stare at them.




Photos courtesy of Alan Gelati/PLUM Miami, via Gelati’s website.

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92 Responses to “Linnocent’s Plum Miami cover story is a portrait of a crackhead catastrophe”

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  1. brin says:

    “Move that cone, I’m Lindsay Lohan!”….lol, best crackie line ever!

  2. marianne says:

    i bet they’ll sue that reporter for slander or something

  3. Addie says:

    My gosh she’s insufferable!

    Her feet are gross!

  4. teehee says:

    Shes got this terribly ugly “permafrown” all the time. Like her face is constnatly contorted and is getting stuck that way. So mama was right. LOL She cant look pretty no matter how hard she tries, as long as she’s got that wicked scowl in her eyes.

  5. embertine says:

    It’s not just that she doesn’t deserve these chances and people making excuses for her (which she doesn’t), it’s that constantly being enabled is making her behaviour worse and making her ever more likely to kill herself.

    If she had people around her who really cared about her, they would have called time on her crack shenanigans years ago. She’s an insufferable little cow but I can’t help but feel a little sorry for her.

  6. Isa says:

    ITA with with Brin, LOL.

    As for the rest of the story, sad if it’s true.
    But still, when most others would have been shut off and cast aside, she is still receiving offers and people still do what she tells them to do.


  7. girlwithapearl says:

    Ugh. I just cannot with this chick. Even county jail doesn’t want her.

  8. john thing says:

    I’d like to tell her where to put that cone.

  9. Ms. Candy says:

    U know I don’t think people are making excuses but she has not one solid person to give her sound advice since the beginning. She has not had one logical person to tell her that she needs to slow down before all this crumbling down.
    Not sure how can people who supposedly love you and care for you let you fall so low that you can’t escape or get back up

  10. Quest says:

    I don’t get her appeal at all. Just looking like a cracked out whore-doll.

    PS: with ugly feet

  11. gemmaa says:

    I have gone past the point where I actively dislike her and moved on to a feeling of deep sadness for her.
    She truly moves through life where not one person loves her enough to do anything about the way she lives her life. She is marching on towards an od/terrible accident and not one person cares….. in face many people seem to be anticipating that day fervently. She is a product of the environment of her life.

  12. Nicky says:

    Her feet are disgusting – missing nail polish on two toes, bunions and a pinkie which looks gnawed. It’s clear personal hygiene and maintenance is not a priority to her. There are new pics of her floating around where you can see a clear gap in-between her two front teeth. There’s debate over whether she’s had them filed down for veneering or if they’re rotting away due her poor lifestyle

  13. Skins says:

    Even her feet are cracked out

  14. You Dont Know Jack says:

    Why is it everytime I see a Lindsay Lohan picture I get a rotten eggs, sweaty fish smell in my nose?

    Is that normal?

    (Rubing nose franticly yelling “It Stinks”)

  15. gobo says:

    “We wanted to go the other way, just innocent and sweet” HA!

  16. Kids0036 says:

    hey can u post the link to the teeth pics? I am drawn to her “stories” and I feel like it’s internet “rubbernecking” – can’t stop looking. I truly hope she gets no film work for a good long while, I don’t see how anyway with insurance issues and still under probation…

  17. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Scariest bit is the fact that Ali is with Lindsay and the most sensible one of them all and the fact that Linnocent picks fights with Ali….

    WTF?! Why is Ali even there, is she being paid to be with her sister, sounds like Ali may be more sensible and level headed than Linnocent, but what chance does she have with a crackie entitled biatch sister and a mother who doesn’t care??

    Linnocent is starting to loose her photogenic big time, even with all the surgery, botox and fillers. Her lifestyle is def taking its toll outwardly which means her internal organs must be in a really bad state. Sad!

    Even with all the make-up on her heroin brown bags under her eyes are still visible, classic sign of a serious druggie

    Edit, in the vid, Linnocent’s eyes are all over the place when she’s saying how much she loves everything, she is soooooo lying, this whole sweetness and light, everythings perfect and I moved to Venice so I have more privacy….huh???

  18. dorothy says:

    Why in the world would Dina let her youngest daughter hang around with Lindsay on a booze-filled, party trip to Miami? Has that idiot not learned anything? Does she really want to go through all of this with another child? Child services should have stepped in a long, long time ago.

  19. mannequin says:

    She is just plain hideous, all around. She always looks like she needs a good scrubbin’ with Comet to me. So skanky.

  20. Blue says:

    It says alot about the people she surrounds herself with, if her sister was the most responsible one there. 17 yo being responsible to care for her 25 up sister and friends. Smh.

  21. Masque says:

    In that last photo she looks like a hooker trying to pick up a john with an offer of a $20.00 beej.

  22. Jackson says:

    Oooh, delicious. That’s gonna be my new go-to line. “Move that cone. I’m Lindsay Lohan.” Awesome.

  23. serena says:

    meh. the makeup isn’t ok. I know she is a crack mess but the make up artist should have done a better work (so the hairstylist)..she looks like cover her up for good!
    Anyway…the story was lol, poor Ali.

  24. Esmeralda says:

    If looking like a stripper qualifies as innocent and sweet, then mission accomplished.

  25. RocketMerry says:

    That’s the way they “make her look innocent and sweet”?! Wow, even clothes and make up refuse to comply to that.

  26. carrie says:

    i boycott this famewhore and it’s sad because she was talented

  27. mia girl says:

    I saw this comment on Radar last night and figured this is the defense we will be hearing from Lilo and her camp of crazies:

    “this article is so one sided its embarrassing. The photographers loved Lindsay, the stylist loved Lindsay, make up ladies loved Lindsay, the video people loved Lindsay, that leaves cranky bitter old Jackie, can’t win them all lol”

  28. maggiegrace says:

    I remember when she had her implants put in. It was ages ago….I doubt she was even 21 at the time. It was then that I wondered what in the fricking hell her mother was thinking. Now it’s clear that White Oprah whored her daughter out long ago, and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about her youngest daughter either.

  29. Bess says:

    What can her family members and/or managers do at this point? Lindsay obviously doesn’t want to listen and doesn’t think that she has a problem.

  30. MarenGermany says:

    we watched machete the other night (cool movie until Lindsay showed up) and my bf was like “who is that again?”
    I said “that is Lindsay Lohan.”
    he was thinking for moment and than was like “oh, the druggie, right?”

    I laughed so hard i almost p*ssed my pants.

    She isnt recognized by people who dont read gossip pages and when you say her name the first thing that comes to mind is the fact that she is an out-of control drug user.
    way to be remembered, Lindsay!

  31. Jazz says:

    What the hell did they expect??

  32. Anti-icon says:

    Lets just be thankful that little professional party girl Lindsey Lohan is not a member of the Church of Scientology. Then the journalist would be harassed, stalked, verbally and legally abused and eventually silenced. Hello Hollywood.

  33. tooey says:

    Can we just fast forward to the end where she staggers out of some joint a la Sharon Stone at the end of Casino? We all know it’s coming.

  34. bub says:

    talented? her only talent is sticking her finger in her mouth and trying to look sexy.

  35. murt says:

    It’s so sad – she’s been a cash cow for her parents since she was 12 years old… Now noone around her cares enough to call her out on her behaviour; they’re leaving her to sink in her self-delusions, and milking her for whatever money she can still make in her current state.

    It’s like a classic Judy Garland situation all over again, shifted into a contemporary setting.

  36. Leprechaun says:

    I really have to wonder who reads the magazine articles about her or buys them for the pictures? It’s hard to imagine her having (m)any fans.

  37. original kate says:

    “… it was like watching the lights come on at a nightclub after-hours — not pretty.”

    that is exactly how i imagined lohan’s life. can we stop giving her attention now?

    *move that cone…i’m original kate!* lol.

  38. ladybert62 says:

    She looks like a porn star and acts like a druggie-diva.

  39. Sara says:

    she really lost her looks, the fake blonde hair, jacked lips and sunken eyes…

    she used to be so fresh faced

  40. Rio says:

    Sigh…sorry, but of all things, that pose just takes it out of me. It’s the only one she ever does! I’m sorry, Hohan, I don’t need a visual description of where you’ll let a john stick it.

  41. OhMyMy says:

    They were paying for this jaunt you’d think they’d be in enough control to get their dang interview. She shouldn’t give interviews anyway every time she does she catches herself in a lie or says something stupid.

    Make her look innocent? HA! She looks like a crack ho. They should not have put her in the dress with the red streaks that look like bloodstains. LOL. That last pic looks like she just gave birth to a baby she didn’t know she was pregnant with and can’t understand what just happened.

    Haven’t we seen those poses from her a million times? Enough already.

    This smells like another instance of someone using her for some jacked up publicity. She has so mismanaged her career and her brand and she just doesn’t care as long as she gets paid and gets to dress up, have her pic taken and have people suck up to her.

  42. Thea says:

    They should have given the little hag the safety cone so she could turn it upside down, insert into a nostril and snort up some more freaking delusion. I use to feel sorry for her. Now I just want her to go away. And take Paris, Leann and Casey Anthony with them.

  43. jover says:

    I agree with the above, but How How How does she continue to get magazine covers of any sort I don’t understand are her people paying off the editors of these lower level mags as well as the supposedly higher end (Vanity Fair) ones? The fact that she gets on the covers of fashion mags is an atrocity I don’t even want to get into.

  44. The Truth Fairy says:

    I’m wondering what clothes/jewelry she stole from the shoot!

  45. Missy says:

    Her teeth really freak me out. She looks like a rabid chipmunk.

  46. Rita says:

    Once a big star and now she sits on the floor diddling herself. She must work cheap.

  47. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Ruby Red – That’s the first thing I really glommed onto in the article, about 17 year-old Ali being the most responsible person around her. I’m willing to bet Ali’s childhood ended at 7 or 8 years old, if she had one at all.

    It would be glorious (and I’d pay good money to see it) if these clubs, bars, promotional parties, hotels, crack-houses, etc…just barred her at the door. Can you IMAGINE the level of crack-headed temper tantrum? It would be HYSTERICAL!

    Maybe she’d even get arrested. AGAIN.

  48. Bex says:

    Poor Ali, only 17 and already she is so hard faced. What a way to spend your teens.

  49. Red Cloud says:

    Sick! Sick!! Sick!!! That’s exactly how the anti-Lindsay loonies deserve to be described bacause that’s what you are. Sick!!!! She’s one of the most gorgeous women on the planet. Only a miserable, delusional screwball cannot see that. Her behavior is a bit “eccentric”?? Who gives a flying ****????? BTW, it is very, very easy to ignore Lindsay Lohan. She’s not in your face everywhere. So, just ignore the woman if you don’t like her. Now go have a lollipop.

  50. OhMyMy says:

    @Rita: I thought the same thing about some of the pics. LOL!

    I don’t understand Ali. What 17 year old girl that you guys know would completely give up their life? No high school years, no friends of her own, no parties or dances, no boyfriends? No plans to go to college or start her own career. It’s bizarre.

  51. ctkat1 says:

    I have no more sympathy for Lindsay- all of my sympathy lies solely with Ali. That poor kid. I can’t imagine that it is fun to be 17 (or 16, or 15) and to watch your older sister and her “revolting” band of hangers-on get cracked out of their skulls day after day.

    Why is she always with Lindsay? What the hell is Dina thinking? See, this is where Dina loses all credibility as a mother. She makes the argument that Lindsay is an adult, she can’t force her to straighten up, and I think, ‘okay, valid point.’ But Ali is a minor- she’s a child, and for years Dina has permitted her to live with Lindsay and be exposed to all of these cracked out shenanigans. Dina can’t control Lindsay, but she is legally required to control Ali- and she doesn’t. She’s a shitty mother.

  52. says:

    They got a whole team out for a photo shoot and THAT’S the best they could do with her fugly hair?!

  53. Nicky says:

    @ Red Cloud,

    “She’s one of the most gorgeous women on the planet.”

    Given the fact that there is over 3.2 billion women living on the planet, I very much doubt that.

    I think we all know who the delusional screwball is here, don’t we?

  54. ZenB!tch says:

    Tsoris – Yiddish for psychological distress. LOL!

    They want to make that wanna-be bisexual crack whore look sweet and innocent? Only Chelsea Handler, Megan Fox, Pammy and Sheen’s goddesses look more used up than her.

    Actually, take out Pammy, LiLo will look much worse at 45 than Pammy does. She may even look worse than Chelsea Handler at 45.

    Oh and her teeth are coming apart or spreading or something – is she on meth too?

  55. skilo says:

    Laughing hysterically at-they didn‘t want to make Linnocent look like a “bad girl” – “We want to make her innocent and sweet.”
    Okay for that they’d need a time machine to take them back to when she did The Parent Trap. Because modern day Lindsay just looks like the crack whore, bitch that she is. You can’t disguise the trashy in her anymore.

  56. gg says:

    She will never look innocent nor sweet. and those clothes are atrocious.

  57. Truthful says:

    Welp, its final–she is gone and NEVER coming back.

    no matter HOW many chances she gets–its inevitable.

    Lethal LoHo, smdh. She always looks so damn dirty.

  58. Bronson says:

    at least they finally did something with her eyebrows though…they bother me so much normally.

  59. Miss Diagnosed says:

    Well, given that she looks like a Grandmother these days, I’m not surprised that she had to yell that she was Lindsay Lohan. They probably didn’t even recognize her. I hope they gave her a seniors discount on all the blow and vodka she consumed at the club.

    Take advantage while you can St. Linnocent, soon they won’t even let you in, no matter how much of a hissy fit you pull.

  60. arock says:

    @rita, yessssssss.

    shes a doozy. i kind of admire the slow simmer, double or nothing attitude of hers. its only a matter of months til “move that cone! i was lindsey lohan!

  61. Miss Diagnosed says:

    Regarding Lindsay’s teeth. Her teeth could be shifting due to decalcification. It happens when you drink lots of sugary drinks ie: Red Bull or RockStar Energy drinks and smoke a lot. Even if you drink the sugar free stuff, it still leeches the calcium from your teeth and eats away the enamel.

    Add on to that the alcohol and drug use, and she’s not only destroying her looks, but her body as well. A lot of this damage is permanent, and no amount of plastic surgery can ever fix it. She needs to smarten up.

  62. Tierra says:

    I dont think there is anyone out there that can make my 40yr old self feel better than this crackhead. Gawd that is one nasty looking 20 something.
    I think its funny she still thinks she’s a “star” even tho she hasnt done anything notable in years. She’s nothing more than a tabloid joke and sadly she has no one to tell her truth about herself.
    She’s been a tad quiet lately, Im expecting some LL drama within the next couple days.

  63. crazycatlady says:

    First I must say that she’s how old? 26? She looks at least 36.

    Anyhoo…Unless a publication is knowingly covering her for the shits & giggles, I’m guessing they’re doing it because they’re in desperate need to sell mags. I mean, Plum Miami ? What the hell even is that? She’s not from Miami, hasn’t worked there of late that I’ve heard… So what is their m.o.?

    She’s a washed-up has-been child actor. And it’s clear by this article that she is sadly delusional, believing she is “somebody.” Blame the paparazzi and whoever it is around her (can’t imagine who other than her family) for cultivating this false belief that she is somebody. When will she realize that the only thing she is is the butt of many jokes?

  64. OhMyMy says:

    @Belle Epoch: Ewww. Unless she has spinach or something caught in her teef there’s something weird going on there. That’s a recent pic too.

  65. Tom says:

    This is not a good looking girl anymore. I’d just as soon not hear anything about her until she ODs, so please: nothing more for six months!

  66. Tara says:

    Tide with bleach and a hose.

  67. Jocko Dundee says:

    Interestingly, the “Plum Miami” points out (in context) that it’s really us who enables her. In our social reality, we would never pay attention to the random stranger spiraling into addiction and stupidity. But if they’ve been photographed on a grand scale? “Wow! What’s happened to our ROLE MODEL?”

  68. Mia says:

    How boring our lives would be without the Linnocents of the world! Notice her freaky hand on the first photo? It’s covered in makeup! She probably pitched up with yellow hands for the photo shoot and had makeup artists rallying to cover it up somehow- A result of drunken tanning lotion application by herself at 3a.m that morn? Also- the unevenness lip injectables leave on the inner lip can be seen on this shot- pitiful despero cracko!

  69. Lady D says:

    Tierra, I’m thinking the same thing. We’re due for some cracked-out drama.

  70. Madisyn says:

    So this NO-NAME magazine flies her clear to Miami for a photoshoot AND an interview and she just goes for the party and then f*cks them off regarding the interview. Sounds about right.

    This isn’t the first time we’ve heard of this rotten behavior. I love that this writer called her out, too bad more do not. I just wish she would have gone into more detail about Blohan’s ‘demands’

    I’d bet the ranch that alot of those high end clothes ‘disappeared’ after she left.

  71. ZenB!tch says:

    Have you guys seen this yet? She claims she should have been considered for Black Swan and Miss Sweet and innocent flashes major side boob:

  72. ZenB!tch says:

    @Jocko Dundee: as someone once said in a ScarJo thread…. “ScarJo is a slut and I love my sluts!”

    All this is hilarious as long as it’s stays far, far away from us.

    I don’t want to know about some girl my age dating my dad (like Sean Penn’s kids), I don’t want to have to deal with the druggie down the hall but it’s like Nip/Tuck – on screen its fascinating.

  73. Sloane Wyatt says:

    Lindsay is The next Anna Nicole, and we are watching her die.

  74. OhMyMy says:

    @ZenB!tch: I laughed my head off when I read that bit about Black Swan.

    That Oscar should have been HERS dammit!!

  75. Nonny says:

    My question is if no one likes her and I’m fairly sure both CB and Kaiser aren’t fond of the Miss. Thang. Then why are they still reporting on her. Is she’s pathetic and sad…just stop posting about her. As soon as no one keeps posts and there is no want of coverage from anyone she can go away.

  76. anti says:

    YIKES! can’t handle her feet.

  77. filthycute says:

    Watch Estrella Arch’s face as a coked-out Lindsay interrupts

  78. Madisyn says:

    I watched the video and she is BEYOND coked out! My god, she looks as horrible then as well as now.

  79. Lady D says:

    @ZenB!tch… that was a hilarious article. I’m still grinning. Thanks for that.

  80. Miss Diagnosed says:

    Lindsay’s indignation that she wasn’t considered for the part in Black Swan made me laugh hysterically. Both Natalie and Mila worked their butts off. I don’t care if Natalie, or for that matter Mila, didn’t do all of their dancing scenes. They trained for months to get into shape and character and that takes determination, stamina and a dedication to your craft, all of which Lindsay lacks.

    Just because one has taken ballet lessons, it doesn’t mean they should be considered for the role of a ballerina. If it did, then I’m indignant that I didn’t get considered for the part. The director obviously wanted actresses who were professional and could be disciplined when training for such a grueling role. And we all know that discipline and professionalism are not in St. Linnocent’s vocabulary.

  81. Ruby Red Lips says:

    BTW does anyone know what is happening with Linnocents community service?? I don’t believe 4 a second that she’s doing it in privacy i.e. w/o the paps, so has she just 4 gotten?!?! Lets hope the court doesn’t!!!

  82. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Great link @ Zenbitch, love the observation ‘she even drank wine whilst discussing her sobriety’ Classic Linnocent!!

    & the Black Swan comment, OMG, Linnocent just doesn’t get it does she!!! She thinks she’s still a bona fida oscar worthy movie star rather than a washed up crackie hooker!

  83. Paige says:

    wow. don’t enlarge the picture to look at her foot!!

  84. Codzilla says:

    @Paige: Too late for me, unfortunately. Blech.

  85. Isn’t it about time for this trash to crawl back under her rock. She has NO saving graces and if the media would just do their job we would not ever have to hear about her again.

  86. Michael says:

    How can we discover the the average age to allll those Lindsay narratives above. This is the longest blog.

  87. Michael says:

    Without the extensive amount of make-up to have her appear ‘darling’, she is cute.

  88. Seal Team 6 says:

    I have been busy the last few days and just saw I missed THREE Linnocent stories, and really good ones, too!!!