Okay, I know she’s 68 and I know she’s a legend and I know I reenact Private Dancer whenever I’m alone and cleaning the house, but can we talk about this for a minute:

This is Tina Turner in Paris, France receiving the distinguished ‘Legion D’Honneur Award‘… wearing green glitter slinky and hair that would make the cast of Steel Magnolias jealous.

Now before you start with me about how she’s an eight time Grammy winner, is the reigning “Queen of Rock and Roll”, is the most successful female rock artist of all time and has sold more concert tickets than any other solo performer in history, I’d like to point out that in the Los Angeles garment district, green glitter slinky runs about $2.99 a yard.

With all her hundreds of millions she couldn’t have someone bring her a dress that cost at least $20 to wear to a ceremony that has been preceded by such notables as Dwight D. Eisenhower, Josephine Baker, Winston Churchill, Barbra Streisand, Victor Hugo and Julia Child? (I love me a notable that’s a culinary goddess.)

I mean I KNOW her skin is freakin’ porcelain and her blush is the perfect shade of warm apricot and she’s got fabulous cleavage and gams for days, but you’re a Buddhist Tina Turner: Your hair doesn’t have to be closer to God!

She can’t always look like this:

But can’t we tone down that Coral-From-Hell lip color, lose that knock-off Heart of the Ocean necklace someone picked up at Lane Bryant and be a Proud Mary in hopes that death by fashion suicide isn’t what is beyond Thunderdome?

Header photos and images below with Giorgio Armani are from WENN. Second photo from Topwomen.org

Lily Allen wore a gray tank top without a bra, leopard-print leggings and Louboutin heels to a performance with Mark Ronson at the 02 Wireless music festival at Hyde Park in London yesterday. The story-telling pop singer and Ronson did two songs together, “Oh My God” and “Littlest Things,” throughout most of which Lily smoked a cigarette.

I am not bashing a girl for gaining weight, but for losing her style. I love her pink hair, and she can really rock the retro dresses and skirts. Change out of your night clothes before you go on stage, girl! You’re so cute when you try.

I know how hard it is to force yourself to buy new clothes when you’ve gained weight. You don’t want to go shopping because then you’d have to admit that you’ve gone up a size or two. But when you finally do it you’ll wonder what took you so long - and be more ashamed that you went out dressed like that than the fact that you gained weight.

Here’s Lily Allen doing the Kaiser Cheif’s “Oh My God” with Ronson in June, 2007. What a difference a year makes:

And here’s the video for “The Littlest Things”

Photo credit: Daniela D’Amato/ WENN

Paris Fashion Week (Haute Couture, Autumn/Winter Season 2009) is in full swing across the pond and everybody who’s anybody who needs something overpriced to wear is there. At the kick-off Claudia Schiffer was giving us Virginia Woolf as a secretary and Eva Mendes looks like a double scoop of Rainbow Sherbet with sprinkles

Patricia Arquette at the Elie Saab show looks amazing. SO amazing in fact, I’m not even gonna mention the fact that she and the woman to her left should have switched shoes. Her hair is gorgeous and I love it grown out. Her make-up looks effortless and that dress is completely charming and becoming. It looks like the star of Medium is living LARGE!
OH! Here are some pics from the catwalk

Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri arrived at the Armani show as a matchy-match Sadie Hip-Hop-Hawkins couple out to win first prize. Her outfit is a ruffle dickie away from being a Texas polygamist FLDS prairie dress and his outfit is so big on him you’d think he was wearing her old clothes circa The Nutty Professor era. Miss Jackson’s hair however, is flawless. LOVE the colour (I added the ‘u’ because they are in Paris), the bangs and the length… sigh, I do miss me the curls from her ‘IF’ video though…

Linda Carter was also at the Armani show, looking stunning. At 56 years old her skin is still flawless, her clothes are still bold AND she remembers pick one thing to star in your own personal fashion show and leave the rest to support it. Those beaded wedge sandals are the perfect blend of fashion, class and the understanding of both.

Here’s Liv Tyler at the Givenchy show apparently VERY excited about putting her new found Origami skills to work! “Wonder Twins power activate! Form of: Satin Bondage!” She is with her sister, Shirley, and Marie de Villepin. Here are a couple pics from the Givenchy runway:

This was what was sitting front row at the Chanel show. They are Her Royal Highness (I SWEAR!) Clotilde Courau, Canadian actress and 2003 Cannes Film Festival Best Actress award winner Marie-Josée Croze and Supermodel Audrey Marnay. (I know, who?) The point is, the only reason I’m putting this picture here is because on our left is Clotilde Courau, Princess of Venice and Piedmont. Now she may BE a princess, but when I saw this photo, I was all: “Who’s the lady reenacting Mommy Dearest doing an impression of the mother from Flowers in the Attic?” Yikes Princess: lighten up!

Watch out, Victoria Beckham is going to inflict yet another overpriced clothing line on the public. Or what she would like to call ‘up scale’ dresses:

The singer turned designer revaled to industry bible WWD, during a recent interview about her new scent, Signature for Her, that she is currently working a new collection of sophisticated, high end dresses, that she intends to unveil in September during the international collections.

‘It will be something completely different from what I’ve ever done. I’m just putting it together at the moment, they will be very up scale dresses and likely to start at around $1,200 retail. I’m going to be using very expensive fabrics and finishes, lots of embroideries.’

Elle

Victoria already has a line of jeans that retails for upwards of $250 a pair, which she has been criticized for not promoting. They aren’t selling particularly well, probably because as Celebitchy pointed out, if you’re going to buy a pair of expensive jeans you would get a more recognizable brand.

I think the same would go for Victoria’s new fashion line. If I was going to lay down $1,200 on a dress I’d probably buy something from a real designer. Posh has said in the past that there is a ’stigma’ attached to being her, telling GMTV Britain that while she was a pop star and a footballer’s wife, she loves high fashion. I think this stigma is going to be attached to her clothes also.

While loving fashion may be a prerequisite to being a designer, I would have to say that it doesn’t actually make you qualified to design clothing.

Posh is shown at the CFDA Fashion Awards on 6/2/08. That’s not one of her designs. Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Note by Celebitchy: Please welcome occasional guest writer, fashion and hair expert Micah McCain. He’s a Hollywood fashion stylist and pop culture expert. He’s worked on stars such as Lauren Conrad and has appeared as a panelist on the Chelsea Handler Show. Micah’s commentary on the fashion and style of the celebrities at the “Trump International Hotel and Tower Dubai at The Park Avenue Plaza” on 6/23/08 is below.

Heidi Klum:
I think if you’re married to Seal, than you shouldn’t be wearing it!
If only 2007 Christie Brinkley looked as much like 1984 Christie Brinkley as 2008 Heidi Klum does! KFC has bigger breasts than she does in that top!

Demi Moore:
“A” Your bag should match your shoes, not your hair. “B” Those shoes go with that dress as much as Dick Cheney goes with target shooting. “C” I get that the hair is supposed to be a throw back to Veronica Lake, but frankly she should just throw it back. And “D” That dress looks like a failed attempt at hanging herself using her satin sheets.

Melania Trump:
Judging by that look on her face, she should change her name to Melania STUMPED!
She’s a blonde dye job away from being cast as the live action Smurfette.
Is it me, or does her eye shadow have as many colors going on as his hair does?

Naomi Watts:
Okay let’s REALLY break this down: Why would someone dress like a flapper waitress who’s into foot bondage and then not take a single minute to do anything with her hair, or let alone complete the ensemble by putting on a sequin headband with a feather in it? WATT was she thinking? I’ll tell you what she was thinking, she was thinking “Maybe if don’t do anything with my hair then they’ll focus on how I look like Nicole Kidman without any make-up on, instead of focusing on the fact that I look like the runner up in the ‘Little Miss England Pageant’ after the talent competition!” SHE’S WEARING A SEQUIN DICKEY! I guess she figured if they weren’t gonna roll out the red carpet, then she wasn’t going to dress for it.

You can visit Micah’s website at MicahMcCain.com.

Fashion designer Vivienne Westwood’s wedding gown featured prominently in the Sex and The City Movie. Carrie was gifted the gown by the designer after she wore it for a Vogue fashion shoot. Costume Designer Patricia Field said she chose to feature Westwood’s gown because she found her designs interesting. Both Field and Westwood are older women known for their eccentric sense of personal style and for their bright red dyed hair, but they may balk at people comparing them. From 67 year-old Westwood’s latest remarks, it sounds like there’s some kind of feud brewing between them.

Westwood said that she absolutely hated the fashion in the Sex and The City Movie, which was all hand picked by Field, and that she couldn’t sit through more than ten minutes of it:

Westwood insists she was far from impressed with stylist Patricia Field’s work on the big screen adaptation of the hit TV series.

She says, “I thought Sex And The City was supposed to be about cutting-edge fashion and there was nothing remotely memorable or interesting about what I saw.

“I went to the premiere and left after ten minutes.”

[From WENN via NY Mag]

This isn’t the first critique I’ve read of the fashion in the film. Slate has a good editorial by Julia Turner about how Carrie was too much of a label whore. Turner said it was a departure from the television series, which often mixed in vintage and cheaper pieces with the high end fashion and wasn’t so concerned about designer names.

Although this labelmania is hardly surprising—why shouldn’t a series known for its fantastical clothing recruit and then flatter such heavy hitters?—I found it disappointing. This is not to say the clothes in the film are bad. Many of the outfits are glorious. (I’ll take two of the Miranda-in-therapy suits and one Carrie-buys-a-copy-of-Vogue fedora.) But there are fewer vintage pieces, fewer off-kilter touches, and the movie, with its emphasis on big-name designers, seems to ignore what the show got right about clothes: that dressing up is a way to invent different versions of yourself.

[From Slate.com]

If you saw the film, do you remember the scene when Carrie was modeling the gowns in which she breathlessly named off the designers one by one as if they were Gods to be revered? It was too much, and my husband and I rolled our eyes at each other. Maybe Westwood got annoyed at Field for thinking she was doing her a favor, or maybe she saw early on that the fashion was label-heavy and resented being lumped in with the other designers in the film. It doesn’t matter, though. One salty old fashion queen’s too-late diss will hardly dent the love for this film and for the fashion in it.

Here’s another photo of Vivienne Westwood at “the Raisa Gorbachev Foundation Gala Dinner at Hampton Court Palace in London” on 6/7/08, thanks to WENN.

I believe that the bigger the celebrity ego, the more second careers they try to have. And if they keep trying new careers instead of working on just doing one thing right… well that’s what I like to call the Lindsay Lohan formula. No one would really call Lohan a good actress anymore. She was great in Mean Girls and a few other films back in the day. But everything since Herbie Fully Loaded has pretty much sucked – the pinnacle of suckitude of course being I Know Who Killed Me.

Instead of working on becoming a non-sucking actress (yes I mean that the way it sounded) Lohan decided to get her ass to the music studio, with varying results, depending on your opinion. Now that that’s done with, Lohan has moved on to the number one favorite celebrity second career: fashion designer, or more accurately known as product endorser. Lohan has put out a line of leggings, which will range from $40 to $140.

LINDSAY LOHAN’s leggings are getting closer to store shelves! ET has learned that the starlet’s new line, named “6126″ after MARILYN MONROE’s birthdate, has been picked up at L.A.’s posh Fred Segal boutique and online retailer www.revolveclothing.com and will start shipping around August 30th, “6126″ LLC partner KRISTI KAYLOR says.

Last month, Lindsay caused a frenzy in Beverly Hills when she and two models posed for publicity shots wearing the pieces. So far, the “6126″ collection includes “footless tights” made from “Supima cotton and Modal ribbed knits” along with other fabrics spruced up with zippers, foil prints, yarn dyes and sexy metallic and screen prints.

Cashmere leg warmers and something called an “ankle glove,” a modified warmer that covers the ankle, are also part of the line, which will start at $40 and go up to $140.

[From Entertainment Tonight]

Well thank goodness. I had this extra $140 sititng here, and I was trying to figure out the best way to completely blow my money on something generally unnecessary and ridiculously overpriced. And $140 for leggings seems to be just about the stupidest thing I could possibly do – so I’m going with that.

In other LiLo news, she and Samantha Ronson haven’t broken up. The pair had a fight at a sushi restaurant the other night, prompting mass blog panic that the two were headed for splitsville.

Forget those break-up rumors. On Monday, Sam Ronson visited Lindsay Lohan on the Los Angeles set of her new comedy Labor Pains.

Blogs had speculated that the pair were on the rocks after they got into a fight Saturday at Glendale, California, sushi hot spot Katsuya. (A witness tells Usmagazine.com that Lohan, 21, stormed out of the restaurant in tears. Ronson, 30, was overheard saying “it was just a joke.”)

But on the Pains set, the two were photographed hugging and laughing.

[From Us Weekly]

Here’s Lindsay having dinner with Samantha Ronson and Lily Allen at Il Sole in Los Angeles last night. Images thanks to WENN.

Mary-Kate Olsen gets quite the complementary write-up in the upcoming issue of Elle magazine. The mag talks to the young fashionista about business, her relationship with sister Ashley, and even interviews Lauren Hutton, Karl Lagerfeld, and Diane von Furstenberg about their opinions of the pint-sized style icon.

* On Ashley: “We don’t agree all the time. The way we go about business or designing or making a decision is that we come at it from two completely different angles that at the end of the day, even when we don’t think we’re agreeing with each other, we are agreeing. We’re just getting there in different ways. Unless you’re a twin, you honestly can’t know how close twins can be. There’s such a strength, but that also makes it…” Her voice trails off. “When there’s that much love there’s…Well, there’s the opposite of everything, but it stems from love, and it stems from passion. We’re driven people. I do know I can’t work in an office. Ashley, on the other hand, loves going to an office.”

* On being sexy: “I feel like I can be sexy when I want to be,” she says. “I think all women are sexy. Some may feel it more than others. I personally think the women who are the most sexy are the women who are truly themselves, whatever that may be.”

* On her fashion: “I don’t know—you’re either on the worst-dressed list or you’ve started a fashion trend. I think there’s a real disconnect between the media’s perception of fashion and the fashion world’s idea of fashion. I don’t know why I wear some of the things I wear. I like wearing crazy things sometimes. I like being playful. Sometimes I feel like I’m playing dress-up and becoming a character. It’s sort of like an art. It can change your mood or the way that people are attracted to you.”

[From Elle via PopSugar]

The Olsen twins are nothing if not good businesswomen. At one point in the interview Mary-Kate says she doesn’t consider herself a celebrity, and says that’s “a media perception” of who she is. Mary-Kate has definitely focused more on fashion than acting in the last several years. And though many of us puzzle at her wardrobe choices, designers in the know are constantly touting her fashion-forwardness.

* Lauren Hutton on MK: “I feel like M.K. is a kindred spirit. She lives an experimental life. When you’re young, you should be trying on lots of things, not just clothes. She understands that. You’re not born with taste. That’s a bunch of hooey. Like everything else, taste is a process of discovery. I like that about her. She’s always discovering her tastes.”

* Karl Lagerfeld on MK: “I love a tiny woman in Chanel. Coco herself was tiny, so you don’t need to be a giant to look good in these. I like the way M.K. is mixing Chanel with other things. Life is not a fashion show, and I find a total designer look boring.”

* DvF on MK: “Mary-Kate is fragile yet strong…She’s an old soul in a very young girl. Hers is a story that has just begun.”

[From Elle via PopSugar]

Elle asks Mary-Kate to comment on Heath Ledger’s death. Olsen was called several times by the masseuse who found Ledger’s body – Mary-Kate instructed her to wait for her own security to come over instead of calling the police, a move that has yet to be explained.

After nearly five months, Mary-Kate Olsen still refuses to speak about the fact that she was the first person called after Heath Ledger was found dead in his apartment.

“I’m not going to comment on that,” Olsen, who turns 22 on June 13, tells Elle in its July issue. “I won’t give you a word about that in the nicest way possible. Let’s move on.”

[From People]

That’s technically a polite enough response, though certainly fairly cryptic. It remains to be seen whether Mary-Kate will ever explain her connection and her advice during those critical 45 minutes. I’ve mentioned before that I’m pretty sure the Olsen twins don’t actually have voice boxes, because I can’t remember hearing them speak past the age of 15. For a girl who has been so quiet, it sounds like Mary-Kate actually has a lot to say.

The Council of Fashion Designers of America held their annual awards ceremony last night at the NY Public Library. Celebrities wore Yves Saint Laurent to pay their respects to the legendary designer, who died of brain cancer at the age of 71 on Sunday. Marc Jacobs was presented the award for Womenswear Designer of the Year by Victoria Beckham, Eva Mendes, and Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Victoria Beckham stole the show in a ruffled Marc Jacobs number while Naomi Campbell wore vintage Yves Saint Laurent sequin pants and sheer blouse. Also shown are Maggie Gyllenhaal, Mandy Moore, Ashley Olsen, Eva Mendes, Kim Cattrall, Tina Fey in an unfortunate dress, Amy Poehler, Hilary Duff, Lauren Bush, Lauren Hutton, Anna Wintour, Candace Bushnell, Donna Karan, ‘Lil Kim and Marc Jacobs, and Eva Longoria and Tony Parker. Eva Longoria is definitely looking pregnant to me, but I don’t care much for her and am not going to make a whole story about it.

Thanks to WENN for these photos.

For many women, you only get to wear a gorgeous, sparkling floor skimming dress once it your life. Maybe not even that often if you’re not into sparkles. For Sarah Jessica Parker, who isn’t really an A-list actress (sorry, but she’s not exactly box office gold away from Sex and the City) her movie premiere in her home town of New York was going to be huge, and she wore the princess dress. And it was fabulous.

Unfortunately, it was fabulous three weeks earlier when worn by New York socialite Lauren Santo Domingo, and photographed.

“In the big picture, this is not important, but there is a relationship between the entertainment industry and fashion,” Parker said on Thursday evening, adding. “We’ve watched sales dwindle and we’ve watched people be less inclined to spend money on clothes.” To Parker, these are reasons for companies to take particular care with their relationships. “Look, my affection for the dress hasn’t changed,” she said, “but what they did was so short-sighted. It’s just unethical and disappointing that they would allow the dress to be worn again.”

Parker says she remarked to Theyskens during the fitting that she was surprised the dress hadn’t been worn before. He assured her it hadn’t.

“He didn’t say, ‘Well, actually I just escorted Lauren down the red carpet at the Met.’ ” said Parker, adding, “I just wish it had been handled differently and they had been straight about it.”

New York Times

Olivier Theyskens is the designer for Nina Ricci, who was photographed beside Lauren Santo Domingo wearing the dress. What a way to get caught out lying.

This has happened before, most notably to Reese Witherspoon, who thought she was wearing a vintage Chanel dress, but was actually wearing a 3-year-old Chanel dress that Kirsten Dunst wore before her. The next year at the Golden Globes a newly divorced and slim Reese Witherspoon wore Nina Ricci.

Is it actually that hard to find a dress that hasn’t been worn before?

I’m also a little bit surprised that Sarah Jessica Parker, who claims to dress her son in nothing but hand-me-downs, is worried about a dress being worn before. She could have just spun this out as being environmentally responsible, and that she’s worn second hand clothing right from when she was a child.

Actresses at big premieres and events where they know they are going to be photographed often hold out to the last second about choosing a dress to wear. If Sarah Jessica Parker was offering no guarantee that she would wear the Nina Ricci silver frock, I see no reason why they should hold it for her just in case.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Lindsay Lohan is shown wearing the dress in a 2007 photo shoot for Harper’s Bazaar. It is also shown on Lauren Santo Domingo, posing with designer Olivier Theyskens at the Costume Institute Gala on 5/5/08. Thanks to WENN for these photos.