Here are some photos from various pre-Grammy parties and events from the past few days. I was going to start it off with Katy Perry and her giant flower head, but that was before I saw these Kim Kardashian photos. Kat-face was at Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy gala last night – how terrible does she look? That’s not a rhetorical question – we really need to discuss how badly Kim is screwing with her face. And her boobs look really uncomfortable too. Size 2, y’all.

These are the photos that people were talking about yesterday, before Whitney Houston died – Katy Perry at the MusicCares event on Friday night, wearing a gigantic, Gaga-esque headpiece flower and an old-timey lace dress. This is such a dumb famewhore move to make. Frankly, it’s something I’d really only expect of Gaga. On Katy, it just seems sad and try-hard. And that dress is so fug!

And here’s Katy yesterday at the pre-Grammy Roc Nation event. She looks so ‘80s.

Rihanna at the same Roc Nation event. I actually kind of like her with this blonde hair now. And I think the jumpsuit is kind of interesting too.

Here’s Britney Spears at Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy gala. Britney looks… good? Honestly, I think she looks tired and a little bit out of it, but she seems pretty healthy too. Cute dress.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

It’s no secret that Kim Kardashian has a face made of lies, Botox, fillers and surgery scars. I mean, we all know it, but Kim has always denied it. Her face was normal (-ish) back in 2006, when people just wondered if she had ass implants and a nose job. Since then, Kim has pushed back her hairline through electrolysis, she’s ‘Toxed the hell out of her face, she’s gotten her eyes done (my opinion) and she’s jacking her lips with as much crap (if not more) as Nicole Kidman and Lindsay Lohan. So, this In Touch Weekly is just a reminder – Kim is a narcissistic plastic surgery monster.

Recent photos of Kim Kardashian show her sporting a plumper pout. A friend of Kim’s confirms to In Touch: “Kim is even more addicted to plastic surgery than ever before.”

While the 31-year-old star has always been overly concerned with her looks, plas say she’s become obsessed ever since her October split from Kris Humphries and subsequent fall from grace.

Instead of retreating from the public eye to regroup, Kim’s putting all her focus on her appearance.

“She’s becoming more and more absorbed in her self image,” says a source.

In her latest bid for physical perfection, plastic surgeon Dr. Matthew Schulman believes Kim underwent a lip augmentation.

“It was likely done with a filler like Restylane,” he tells In Touch. Celeb makeup artist at Valery Joseph salon Rachel Gangemi agrees: “There is no way lip gloss and lip liner can create that much volume!”

While fillers may be helping her get closet to her beauty ideal, her antics are only driving friends and family further away.

“Her sisters think she’s so vain,” says the source. “They feel like all she cares about is her image.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

In recent photos, I keep saying that her lips look crazy. But as I was looking back at her old human face, I got really sad. She really was a pretty girl back in the day. She had a genuine exotic prettiness, and it’s totally gone now. She killed it with all of that unnecessary crap she’s done.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

You know, I’m really starting to feel sorry for Tim Tebow. Not only has the guy dealt with Katy Perry’s parents trying to set him up with their daughter, but he’s had to suffer through Perry dedicating lewd song lyrics to him about his “Peacock.” In addition, Tebow has been fending off the advances of Kim Kardashian, which he politely declined, but she hasn’t gotten the message. Everyone knows that Kim — with her sex tape, Playboy spread, and two divorces — has no business trying to get into Tebow’s pants; well, everyone knows except for Kim herself.

Even though she reportedly has sworn off football players, Kim hasn’t given up on bagging Tim, and his resistance has seemingly only stoked her desire to get in his good graces. Now she’s walking around wearing cross necklaces, Tweeting about starting a bible study group, and doing the church-buddy thing with LeAnn Rimes. It’s so transparent, but she really believes that Tim (and the rest of us) are stupid enough to believe her act. Now this week’s issue of OK! is all about Kim “pray[ing] for a chance” with Tebow, whom she’s been targeting for months, and she even went so far as to reshoot some later episodes of “Kourtney & Kim Take New York” to highlight her (fake ass) religious values and pious nature. Really.

How many times have we seen it happen? In the wake of a cataclysmic event, somebody gets religious. And so it seemed (to some skeptics, at least) with Kim Kardashian. The reality diva’s disastrous 72-day marriage to basketballer Kris Humphries unleashed a tsunami of bad press — chiefly, she was accused of weddng Kris for commercial reasons — and seemed to damage her brand.

And now, Kim is firing off Tweets like this one: “On my way to church with the girls!” she said to her almost 13 million followers. “I want to start a Bible study group with my friends!”

Inspiring, isn’t it? Except that some insiders say Kim’s sudden display of piety may have an ulterior motive: that the sex-tape icon, 31, is trying to sack Tim Tebow, the super-religious Denver Broncos quarterback — you know the guy who kneels and prays on the field — and self-proclaimed 24-year-old virgin.

“Anyone who knows Kim knows what she’s up to,” a source tells OK!. “She thinks Tim’s hot and she knows dating him would really boost her image. And Kim could really use some help in that department.”

Kimbow? Tardashian? Clearly Kim has a thing for sports stars; aside from Kris there was her great love, NFL star Reggie Bush. But hooking innocent Tim requires more than the standard play.

“If he were just the average athlete, Kim would pull the same move she used on Kris,” the first source tells OK!, adding, get front-row seats to his game and send a message to the locker room with her number. But Tim’s different. She can’t just use her sexuality.”

And so Kim called on a higher power. “She set her sights on Tim months ago,” the source says. “She shot extra scenes for ‘Kourtney & Kim Take New York,’ making sure she emphasized her Christian beliefs.

Another insider who’s close to Kim isn’t so cynical, arguing that her spiritual side is — ahem — well developed and that it plays into her attraction to Tim.

“Kim thinks Tim is a dream,” the insider tells OK!. “She appreciates his courage to weather criticism about being publicly religious. So I think Kim is inspired by that act of bravery. As for the bible study, that’s nothing new,” the insider adds. “Her family was very committed to their spiritual ideas — very Catholic.”

Ah, but will it be enough? “Kim’s not Tim’s type at all,” a Tim insider tells OK!. “He likes down-to-earth girls who aren’t high maintenance. And the sex tape is the type of thing that grosses him out.”

Still, you can’t completely count Kim out. Says the source: “When she decides she wants someone, she goes out and gets him.”

[From OK!, print edition, February 20, 2012]

This story is completely believable. Kim’s already been busted reshooting scenes of “Kourtney & Kim” to make herself look more sympathetic while pretending to agonize over the decision to divorce Kris Humphries. Also, that unnamed source who insists that Kim and her family are incredibly spiritual and devout Catholic? To state the obvious, that sounds a lot like a source named “Kris Jenner.” We all know how Kris dreams of controlling the tabloids, right? The really funny thing about Kim’s obvious maneuver is that she assumes that Tim would even watch her show in the first place.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

I really shouldn’t end the day on such a stupid story, but it’s my own fault for forgetting about it early this morning. E! News got their hands on a photo you just need to see for yourself – go look at it and come back. LeAnn Rimes and Kim Kardashian walking down the street together, looking chummy. What were they discussing? How both of them are a size 2? Hahahahaa. LeAnn is probably a 00. And Kim – bless her heart – routinely rounds down from a “12” to a “2”. But no, they were talking about diets or dress sizes. They were talking about Jesus. For real.

Kim Kardashian and LeAnn Rimes both love the same man: Jesus Christ!

On Sunday, the duo attended Life Change Community Church service in Agoura Hills, Calif.

Kardashian, 31, and Rimes, 29, are also both fans of Brad Johnson, the church’s esteemed pastor…

But the E! reality icon and the hit-making country star weren’t the only ones singing from the hymn book. Kourtney Kardashian, Mason Disick and Kris Jenner joined Kim at the service, and Rimes’ hubby Eddie Cibrian joined her for worship.

“Great seeing you and the fam,” LeAnn tweeted to Kim. “See you soon! Xoxo”

Kim, who described her churchgoing Sunday as the “perfect day,” echoed Rimes’ enthusiasm. “You too babe!” she replied. “See you soon! Xoxo”

For Rimes, who is recovering from minor mouth surgery last week, some spiritual healing was just what she needed. She tweeted to a fan that “friend and hubby time always helps” on the road to recovery.

These two gals seem like they’d be fun Bible-study buddies!

[From E! News]

I would be offended if I wasn’t so amused. I mean… they’re obviously just doing this to bring their famewhoring power together in perpetuity, correct? They’re not actually trying to convince anyone that they’re both deeply religious people? I think Kim is probably the one driving this Famewhore Extravaganza – she wants to change her image, so she’s been talking about bible study groups and Tim Tebow and such. She’s probably too stupid to realize how deeply sacrilegious her very existence is. As for LeAnn – well, I’ll buy that she’s been in a church before. I believe she and Eddie have done some photo-ops coming and going from church before. LeAnn probably sees herself as a martyr. Just like Jesus, y’all.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

These are new photos of Kim Kardashian at Miami International Airport a few days ago, and in Beverly Hills over the weekend (the black shorts photos). First, can we talk about how Kim is still messing with her Kat-face? Whatever is going on with her mouth is just terrible, and it pisses me off to no end that Kim thinks we believe that she’s “natural”. It’s debatable as to whether the ass is natural – but can we all agree that her face is NOT?

Anyway, last week there was a rumor going around that Kim had been quietly dating Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez. Kim denied the rumor, and she pushed this story to TMZ:

Kim Kardashian isn’t secretly dating Mark Sanchez … she’s not interested in Tim Tebow — in fact, sources tell TMZ, the reality star is completely DONE with football players in general … all thanks to Reggie Bush.

In case you haven’t heard — there were reports Kim and Mark were seeing each other on the DL whenever she was in New York. There were other rumors Kim came on to Tim Tebow because of his old-fashioned values. But we’re told … it’s all BS.

Sources close to Kim tell us, her break-up with Bush in 2010 was so rough … she has lost her taste for NFL players entirely — and has no plans to play the field in the near future.

Now that she’s moved on from NBA players too … she’s only left with baseball, hockey, soccer and golf. Hey, Tiger’s available!

[From TMZ]

See, I don’t believe this at all. I don’t think Kim “lost her taste” for football players just because of what went down with Reggie, just like I don’t believe Kim “lost her taste” for basketball players because of what went down with Kris Humphries. It’s predictably dumb for Kim (or anyone) to paint all athletes with the same stereotype, by why compartmentalize between various sports? B-ballers are fine, football players are bad, but baseball players are the best? Meh. Kim just wants someone high-profile and wealthy, I doubt she really cares who or what he does.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Don’t ask me to describe who Kim Kardashian’s latest rumored boyfriend is. I had to look him up. According to Radar/TerezOwens.com, Kim has been quietly dating New York Jets QB Mark Sanchez. He’s Latino, and from what I’m reading on his Wikipedia, he totally loves musical theater. He also seems WAY too good for Kim. As in, he’s employed, he does charity work, and he comes from a good family. Is it really possible that Ol’ Kat-face snagged a good one?

Is Kim Kardashian mending her broken heart with a hot new NFL player?

She certainly is, if reports linking the reality star with super hot New York Jets pretty boy quarterback, Mark Sanchez are to be believed.

According to TerezOwens.com, the two started “secretly” dating while Kim was filming the FIRST season of Kourtney and Kim Take New York, pre Kris Humphries days, and now they are back together, hot and heavy.

“Kim and Mark like to meet in hotels for dinner dates and flings’” a source tells the sports blogger. “Whenever Kim is in New York, they hang out. They are very careful with not being seen together, Mark is seeing someone!”

The source goes on to state that Kim and Mark are planning a super secret rendezvous this Super Bowl weekend.

So, what’s the likelihood of these two being the next “it couple?”

Mark is certainly Kim’s type — athletic, gorgeous jock — and Sanchez loves a starlet, having previously dated Jessica Szohr and been linked to Hayden Panettiere.

But, bear in mind, just earlier this week Kim was reported to be crushing on Tim Tebow, a rumor that was instantly shot down.

[From Radar]

If it’s true, it’s mystifying. Seriously, what do half-way decent dudes see in Kim? It’s one thing if you’re talking about a guy like Kanye West, who has issues and who could be dating someone trashy like Kim Kardashian (or Amber Rose) for “performance art” or something. But when it’s a professional athlete who already has their own high profile? Why even get involved in the Kardashian drama? Maybe Mark Sanchez just feels bad for Kat-face because she’s 30 years old, not married and childless.

By the way, these are new photos of Kim in Miami with her friend Jonathan. Her face is looking particularly tweaked to me lately.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Ol’ Kat-face takes the cover of this week’s Life & Style, and those are maybe the funniest cover lines I’ve ever seen on a tabloid: Undateable, Losing Millions, Gained 15 Pounds and No Friends. OMG 15 POUNDS!!!!! Like that’s really on the list of why Kim Kardashian is totally going to have a “breakdown” y’all. As for the “undateable” thing – my mother and I were actually discussing Kim’s dating prospects (for real, this was an actual conversation I had with my mom). My mom thinks that Kim is a “catch” for a certain kind of rich, powerful man (“in LA,” my mother hedged), while I think that no dude who has any self-respect would get involved with the Kardashian Katastrophe at this point.

But it doesn’t really matter. This Life & Style piece is just some fluff to make us feel sorry for poor Kat-face. Bruce Jenner even gets into the act by describing the DIRE circumstances Kim finds herself in currently – “It’s tough for a woman at 30 — not married, no kids.” STFU, Facelift. Being a single, childfree, 30-year-old woman is not “tough.” God, I can’t believe I’m defending her.

On the season finale of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, viewers watched Kim Kardashian melt down on camera, admitting she felt “dead inside” as she let her husband, Kris Humphries, know she was giving up on their marriage.

That meltdown was taped months ago but the situation has only gotten worse. Since filing for divorce on Oct. 31, Kim has struggled to deal with the public backlash — being criticized and under constant attack for her every move — and now insiders tell Life & Style she is on the brink of a breakdown.

“She stays home all the time. It’s like she’s afraid to be in public,” an insider tells Life & Style.

But on Jan. 22, Kim stepped out for the night to see pals Loren Ridinger and Jonathan Cheban and confessed she feels lonelier than ever. “I am so alone,” an eyewitness overheard Kim lamenting to Loren and Jonathan over dinner at Cipriani Downtown in NYC. “I didn’t expect all of this. It’s devastating.”

In addition to the backlash from fans and viewers, she’s taking a hit from lost business deals: Mattel issued a statement that a Kardashian Barbie line would not be manufactured at this time and Shoe Dazzle, the online styling service she co-founded, announced it was closing its U.K. site. She could be losing millions — and her ex Kris continues to lash out, alleging to pals that Kim even planned his proposal.

Even stepfather Bruce admits it’s been a rough time for the two-time divorcee. “It’s tough for a woman at 30 — not married, no kids,” Bruce confides to Life & Style. “Kim’s an idealist.”

[From Life & Style]

It really is no wonder that Kim is trying to reach out to Jesus, right? Poor Kat-face is just so distraught, it’s all she can do to famewhore her faith in the hopes of burying herself in virginal Tebow dong. Whatever she does next, she’s nothing if she doesn’t lose those 15 pounds, right? Because that’s the big “OMG!” cover line.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Here are some new photos of Kim Kardashian, which she tweeted yesterday. She was supposed to be “modeling” a new bra from the Kardashian Kollection lingerie line (“All about corals for spring swimwear.”) – but people were just paying attention to her hair, which is freshly dyed. She’s gone from Kardashian-black to Kardashian-dark-brown. I have to admit, I redyed my hair over the weekend, and I think Kim and I have the same shade, because my hair looks a lot like this. Kim tweeted: “I dyed my hair lighter yesterday! I’m loving it! New hair color=new beginnings for me You like?”

But her hair (and her kat-face) isn’t the only “new beginning”. Kim also tweeted, “I want to start a bible study group with my friends!” Because she’s religious now! Is that her move? I’m debating whether or not to be offended by this. Honestly, I don’t think it offends me. I live in a super-Jesusy area, and I don’t think most of the fundamentalists around here would even bat an eye at doing a Bible study group with Kim Kardashian. Does that say something about fundamentalists?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & Kim’s Twitter.

Call it a necessary price of fame for rising sports stars, but poor Tim Tebow has been unwittingly fixed up by the tabloids with increasing frequency. Last we heard, the poor guy was dealing with a special invite from Katy Perry’s parents to speak at their church and also start dating their wayward daughter, who could really use a nice Christian boy after that dodgy Russell Brand. Most of you found the idea pretty hilarious and pretty unlikely in terms of a match, but it sure was an entertaining prospect, right?

But wait. It gets even better. Now, Kim Kardashian has reportedly set her sights on poor Tim and reportedly has a major crush on the guy. Never mind that Tim is a devout Christian and a virgin who is saving himself for marriage, and Kim is a devout narcissist who only believes in the almighty dollar and has starred in her very own “adult film.” None of that matters at all to her because Kim is shopping for a new boyfriend (translation: “co-star“), and she thinks that Tim is the ideal hottie to fill the opening (translation: “He’d be great for ratings.“). Fortunately, Tim has laughed off the possibility of dating a Kardashian. With that, he’ll probably capture several new fans:

Kim Kardashian hopes to hitch her falling star to America’s hottest athlete, Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow — but he doesn’t want anything to do with her!

Sources say that Kim has been telling pals she wants to land a date with the devout Christian football sensation, who made national headlines for miraculously leading his mediocre team to the NFL playoffs.

“Kim has a big crush on Tim,” a friend confided. “She says he’s not only very handsome but seems like a guy with really strong values.”

But it’s more than just infatuation for Kim, 31. Even though she has her own money, pals claim she’s also seeing dollar signs in the 24-year-old hunk! The once red-hot reality star’s popularity has tanked recently, particularly after her sudden separation from pro basketball player Kris Humphries after just 72 days of marriage.

Since then, ratings for her flagship reality show, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” are down 14 percent. The buxom brunette has also lost endorsement deals, and her paid public appearances, which have netted up to $600,000 apiece, are dropping off at a rapid pace.

“Kim needs to rehab her image to get her career revved up again,” explained another source. “Dating someone like Tim Tebow would certainly do the trick.”

But even her family is telling her not to hold her breath.

“Tim’s been made aware of Kim’s crush, and although flattered, he’s not interested,” said a source.

“He’s an avowed virgin who’s saving himself for marriage and is looking for a woman with similar values, not someone with two failed marriages AND a sex tape in her past!”

[From Enquirer, print edition, February 6. 2012]

Since when has Kim ever been interested in “really strong values“? The really funny thing about this though is that Kim is such an entitled princess that she thinks any sports star would be jumping to date her. Unfortunately for her, Tebow has standards that she could never hope to meet. Of course, his standards are a bit unconventional and pretty outdated in today’s world, but if they mean that he rejects Kim Kardashian’s famewhorey ways, then I can’t argue with that at all.

Just as a refresher, here’s a clip of that press conference where a journalist asks Tim about “saving himself.” It makes me giggle every time I watch it.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

Tell us something we don’t know with that title, right? Well the best part of this story is the source, who goes on the record with In Touch to totally trash his old lover Kris Jenner. Remember how Kris bragged in her memoir about cheating on her first husband, attorney Robert Kardashian, during the day with some young thing when she wasn’t off spending her husband’s money? The guy she was cheating with, who was originally assumed to be Khloe’s biological dad (but there are plenty of other candidates given what a skank Kris is), told In Touch that when he wasn’t boning Kris he was watching her be a terrible mother. What’s more is that Kris paid for this guy’s apartment and gave him money (her husband’s money) to live on, just like a dude with a mistress on the side!

Also, it gets better. It’s hard to tell, but it sounds like Kris and this guy stopped seeing each other around the time she got divorced. The exact timeline is vague, but he makes it sound like the divorce kind of split them up because she was looking for another man with money. In the 1991 divorce papers, Robert Kardashian describes Kris cheating on him with another guy, whom he names as her eventual second husband Bruce Jenner. So it sounds to me, based on these details, that Kris was cheating on her husband with both this young guy she was paying for AND with Bruce Jenner. Genius! Of course she married the one with money even though he liked to wear her clothes. It was a small price to pay for maintaining the cushy lifestyle she knew she was entitled to. Here’s more:

In an exclusive interview with In Touch, Kris’ former lover, soccer-player turned animator Todd Waterman, 46, reveals that he spent lots of time around Kris and Robert’s three girls, Kourtney, Kim and Khloe. And while Kim “didn’t seem to mind” that he was so close to her mom, Todd saw first-hand how deeply affected she was by her mother’s questionable values – which went way beyond their illicit romance, as he recalls.

How Kris influenced her daughters
“It was a steady, superficial diet of what to wear, who your friends are, where to be seen and what car to drive,” explains Todd, whose affair with Kris went on for many months, continuing even after Robert caught them in the act. “Early on, it was made clear to me that Kris desired a celebrity lifestyle.”

From the start, Todd says, Kris clearly prized fame, money and sex above all else. And, unlike her sisters, Kim never once questioned her mother, who Todd remembers “had great expectations,” even back then, of molding the pretty little girl into her own image…

On how Kris made him a kept man
“I didn’t have the money for the lifestyle Kris was leading, so she paid for a lot – or it was Robert who was paying, I guess,” admits Todd, who, for a time, lived in an apartment Kris paid for with Robert’s money. And after Robert finally divorced Kris, she and Todd made no effort to stay together. “There was no way I could help maintain what she was accustomed to financially,” he explains….

“Kim is Kris 30 years ago,” the friend observes. “That’s not going to change.”

[From In Touch, print edition, February 6, 2012]

I guess we know where Kim got it from, only she’s made her own money and she’s not going to bother staying married if she has the slightest issue with a partner. As for the subtitle on the cover “pushed to have sex at 14,” that’s not what the article claims. They just write that “Kris gave Kim the green light to have sex in her teens.”

The article goes on to say that Kendall and Kylie Jenner, 16 and 14, are “Kris’ next project.” We just heard from Bruce that those two probably aren’t going to college. They can make money slapping their name on clothing lines and showing up at events, why would they bother getting an education? Kris is the ultimate stage mom and she probably had kids just for this purpose. I feel for the youngest ones. The oldest ones are too messed up and they’re responsible enough to make fun of. We don’t all have to be carbon copies of our parents.

Kim is shown on 1-23-12. She’s also shown with her mom on 12-31-12. credit: WENN.com