Afraid she was running the risk of being taken too seriously, Kim Kardashian decided to slut it up on Friday by dancing with the Pussycat Dolls in Los Vegas. Kim donned a little sailor suit and focused on such complex tasks as not slipping on the water in the bathtub. Which to be fair is a pretty common problem for dancers. And the elderly.

Last week, bountiful-bootied celebutante Kim Kardashian performed with the Pussycat Dolls, much to the delight of a hooting and hollering crowd. And even though the main man in Kim’s life, NFL superstar Reggie Bush, wasn’t able to be there in person, he still managed to catch her in all her scantily clad glory.

“We instant-messaged right before the show,” Kim told OK! at the Sunkist/MTV Ultimate End of Summer Bash at The London West Hollywood. “He could see the costume and I did my whole little performance for him to show him what I was going to be doing. He asked me to take a video.”

And while Kim said she hopes to work with the Dolls again soon, she admitted that their saucy dance numbers are not as easy as you might think. “I was so nervous,” she explained. “There was water in the bathtub and I didn’t want to slip… I didn’t practice it with the water to start with.” Regardless, Kim calls the whole experience, “exhilarating… very empowering.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Apparently Kim’s efforts at weight loss have been quite fruitful – a little too much so, in fact. She recently said that she’s trying to lose some of the infamous junk in her famous trunk – and TMZ reports that Kim surprised everyone with just how much she’d slimmed down.

Yes, video can be deceiving. Kim Kardashian had a 911 emergency over the weekend when she performed in Vegas with the Pussycat Dolls. Seems part of her ass disappeared.

Our spies tell us hours before going on stage, she was fitted for her costume but it was too big … in the butt Bob. Kim K lost weight in all the wrong places. She got cinched up with her getup and went on stage.

[From TMZ]

She still looks pretty good to me. If you go for the whole skanky sailor slut look. I personally prefer more of a skanky pirate, but whatever. Here’s Kim dancing with the Pussycat Dolls on Friday. Images thanks to WENN.

Kim Kardashian is significantly more famous for her ass than her face. And that can’t feel good. Okay that was unnecessarily mean. Kim’s face is quite lovely. But her ass is epic, and there’s no getting around that. Apparently the woman who made J-Lo look like she had a washboard ass has a boyfriend that isn’t so pleased with the look. “Sources” tell Page Six that Reggie Bush is pushing Kim to work out a ton – to help reduce some of the stack on her back.

Kim Kardashian became famous for her bodacious booty - but her man wants to trim some of the junk in her trunk.

A source tells Page Six that Kardashian, who will wrestle Carmen Electra in the new flick “Disaster Movie,” has been working out extra hard these days at the request of her boyfriend, New Orleans Saint Reggie Bush.

“He’s been pushing her to work out hard,” said our source. Sunday, Kardashian was overheard telling a friend at the opening of FUSE nightclub in Nashville that Bush made her run the dunes at Manhattan Beach in California.

[From Page Six]

Okay I admit that Kim’s ass has a certain size and shape that makes it appear to be fake. But I’m going to assume it isn’t. Given what she’s got, I think she’s done a good job of making it work for her. It does look a little unnatural, so maybe that’s what Reggie Bush is trying to get her to work on. Though I hope that if he gets to have a say in what she should look like, that Kim gets to do the same for him. Waxing, anyone?

Here’s Kim and Reggie Bush leaving Koi restaurant in Los Angeles on July 1st. Images thanks to WENN.

Paris Hilton was asked on a Las Vegas morning radio talk show “What would you rather have, Jessica Simpson’s rack of Kim Kardashian’s ass?” and she answered “I would not want that, that’s gross… that’s disgusting.” She then said she liked her own boobs and that she thinks Jessica’s are too big. One of the DJs tried to clarify “You just said Kim Kardashian’s ass is gross,” and Paris answered “Yeah, I did… it reminds me of cottage cheese inside of a big (or “dead,” it’s hard to hear) trash bag.” [Transcribed from audio available on TMZ.com]

Paris and Kim used to hang out all the time, but the last time I can find that they made a public outing together was in December, 2006 when Paris brought Kim to Australia for a photo op. Kim’s sex tape with Ray J came out in early 2007 and that is said to have put an end to her friendship with Paris, because Paris just can’t understand anyone using a sex tape for publicity purposes.

Kim has gone out to a modicum of fame with her family reality show, while Paris continues showing up for stuff, slapping her name on shoddy merchandise, and endorsing wine in a can.

Are there any female friends that Paris has kept long term? She was seen hanging out with 24 star Elisha Cuthbert earlier this year, and rumor had it that they were lovers when they were seen making out in a club, but that was short-lived. Paris had that ongoing feud with Nicole Richie, and she was hanging around with Kim Kardashian in 2006 but now she’s talking trash about her former friend’s figure. Paris and Britney were BFF for about six weeks in late 2006, and Paris is said to have called Britney “the animal” after their falling out. Paris also had a public war of the words with Mischa Barton, who is said to be fighting with Paris again now that both of their new boyfriends are on tour with their bands together. No wonder she needs to go on a reality show to find a best friend - it takes a special kind of masochist to put up with Paris.

Update: Paris has apologized, saying she was just joking around. And Kim accepted:

“I was just joking around and I made a stupid joke,” Paris tells In Touch exclusively. “I felt really bad afterward, so I contacted Kim and apologized. It was a silly thing to say. Kim’s hot!” Kim accepts the apology, telling In Touch, “Paris and I have been friends since we were kids and I’m glad she made the effort to say she’s sorry.”

[From In Touch]

Paris Hilton is shown in London yesterday. Kim Kardashian is shown at the launch of the fall Bongo collection on 4/7/08. Thanks to WENN.

Kim Kardashian would like to believe that the rest of the world is as obscenely dumb as she is. Luckily, that’s only true about half the time. Kim’s gotten a lot of heat for carrying around an ass that’s as big as her boobs. Truly, it’s a size generally not seen in nature. But Kim has religiously insisted that her ass as au natural. And exactly what expensive, exotic beauty potion did she use to grow such an ass? Apparently it’s Britney Spears’ favorite tonic: Cheetos and deep fried Oreo cookies. As a result, Kim – who is known to shun publicity and rarely talks to magazines unless it’s about really, really important stuff – took some time out of her demanding schedule to inform People magazine that she’s eating better from now on. No word on what her ass thinks of this plan.

“I figured just eating well would help me lose five pounds or so,” Kardashian, 27, tells PEOPLE, admitting that three months into the New Year, her diet isn’t getting any better. “It’s so hard to eat well because I love so many unhealthy foods. I just can’t stop eating junk. It’s awful!” Kardashian… lamented a disastrous trip to the International House of Pancakes earlier in the afternoon. “I decided not to have pancakes, because those aren’t good for me and I didn’t want the carbs. So what did I get? Chicken strips. I knew they were bad for me, but they were worth it.”

For now, Kardashian is relying on exercise to keep her figure. “I’ve got a personal trainer who keeps me active,” she says. “I work my butt and legs just about every day, and I do cardio to burn fat. I’ve actually started videotaping my workouts so I can do them on the road. I’m going to start selling the videos soon on my Web site so that others can do the same workout that I do. They’re short videos, but if you do them one right after the other, it’s a really good workout.”

[From People]

Boy whoever implied that Kim Kardashian was dull as a box of rocks (me) sure was wrong. If that girl’s smart enough to go to IHOP while supposedly trying to eat healthy – and substitutes the chicken strips for the pancakes – clearly she’s a hell of a lot smarter than we thought. And if she’s savvy enough to call People and tell them about it, the girl clearly knows something about sophisticated press coverage. But good to know her infamous ass – which looks like two globes locked in some kind of morbid embrace – is due to chicken strips and her religious but butt/leg workout. And not implants. Because Kim’s too smart to put silicone in her ass.

Here’s a few classic Kardashian ass shots, along with this most recent picture of Kim – while somehow not showing her ass, which defies the very laws of physics – it’s way too funny. Her expression tells me she’s just realized this light bulb is smarter than she is. Here’s Kim “doing a spot of shopping and pops into the Beverly Hills Nail Spa to get her nails done,” on March 26th. Head image thanks to Splash.

Kim Kardashian is really rolling with the “I used to be a stylist” thing. Never mind that she used to be a stylist for Brandy, and stole Brandy’s mom’s credit card and used it to buy stuff for herself. Kim still thinks she’s got something to teach the rest of us, which is why she’s offered to help the ever-sinking Britney Spears in the vanity department. Okay to be fair, a lot of us probably think that about Britney – but more in the hygiene department than anything else. Kim Kardashian has about as much class as Joey Buttafuco. She says her style icon is J-Lo. Now I will admit there’s an ever-so-slight chance that I own a blazer from the J-Lo fashion collection. But I am not quasi-famous, I do not have my own reality show, and I at least understand that I should feel some shame about it. Kim doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

Kim Kardashian has her eye on Britney Spears – and her clothing.

The Keeping Up with the Kardashians star and stylist says in a new video blog post that she would love to give the pop star a little help in the fashion department.

“I would love, love, love to give Britney Spears a makeover,” Kardashian says. “I think everyone wants to give her a makeover. But I think that she is so cute and sweet and has a great style. But it’s all fallen apart and it’s a mess now. I would love to bring her back to where she used to be.”

[From People]

I don’t think Kim Kardashian would know how to dress someone in a way that didn’t show off ass cleavage. But considering her sense of style, she’s probably the perfect match for Britney Spears. She wouldn’t try to make Britney class or shove her in anything made by Gucci. Kim would probably just take a baby wipe to Britney’s face, get her some better extensions, and send her on her way.

Since the news came out that singer Brandy’s mother, Sonja Norwood, has sued Kim Kardashian and her three siblings for stealing her credit card, I have been truly curious to learn the back-story behind this debacle. Kim apparently was Brandy’s stylist in 2004. I had no idea that Kim Kardashian ever had a job, besides supposedly giving or receiving golden showers (yes I forget the specifics of that rumor and am too afraid too look it up). But Kim did do something professional in her life besides going to parties and showing the world her ass cleavage. But I guess she didn’t do it that well - or at least that ethically - because she stole Sonja Norwood’s credit card, loaned it to her three siblings, and the group managed to run up over $120,000 in debt in 2005 - 2006.

“I did not want to commence litigation against the Kardashian family without conducting an exhaustive investigation into the charges and discussing all options, including criminal prosecution, with my family,” Norwood said in a statement Tuesday.

“After Ray J and Brandy urged me not to file criminal charges because of their prior friendship, I decided to afford the Kardashians an opportunity to resolve this matter without a lawsuit,” Norwood said. “When the fraudulent charges were brought to their attention, they apologized profusely, and advised us, through their attorneys, that they would pay the debt in full. However, they have since reneged on that promise.”

Norwood also said in her statement that her “investigation has revealed that the Kardashians used their two stores [Dash and Smooch] and other stores that I have never visited to take advantage of me. I very much look forward to having the Kardashians account for their misconduct in a court of law.”

[From In Touch]

Sonja Norwood’s statement clears up a few issues, but there are a lot of questions remaining. First off, the card was supposedly given to Kim when she worked for the Norwoods in 2004. Yet the charges occurred several years later. Did Sonja Norwood never get the card back, or did Kim steal the number? Secondly, how did the Kardashians sign for these purchases? Were they actually forging Sonja’s signature, or was Kim an authorized signer on the account? No matter what, how did the other three Kardashians use the card? Why did it take Sonja Norwood so long to notice and/or do anything about the fraudulent charges?

What I’m most eager to hear is the Kardashians’ defense. They have obviously denied any wrongdoing, and Kim has said she has documentation for all the purchases. It seems pretty unusual that Brandy’s mother would have Kim Kardashian - who is no longer her employee - use her credit card. It also seems odd that Norwood would randomly choose to sue the Kardashians if they hadn’t done anything wrong. Although considering their father is the late famed O.J. Simpson defense lawyer Robert Kardashian, I’m sure they’ll be able to come up with some sort of entertaining - if not plausible - defense.

Picture Note by JayBird: Header of Kim Kardashian, joined by her ass. Here are the Kardashian sisters (left to right) Kourtney, Kim and Khloe at Kim’s 27th birthday at JET Nightclub in Las Vegas on October 26th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Kim Kardashian has never really done anything that’s made me say, “Wow, that girl’s good with money.” She’s done a lot of things that have made me say, “Wow, that girl’s got an ass that should be on her chest,” but that’s about it. And apparently Kim’s ass cleavage is the biggest thing she’s got going for her, because not only is the girl bad with money, but she’s criminally bad. And when you combine bad fiduciary judgment with a ridiculous love of shopping and access to someone else’s credit card, things can get out of hand. Not for a regular person, but apparently for a Kardashian. In 2004, Kim was singer Brandy’s stylist. Brandy’s mother Sonja Norwood, who is also her daughter’s manager, gave Kim her American Express card to make one purchase for Brandy. Although it remains unclear, somehow Kim kept the card and continued to make personal purchases on it - totaling over $120,000. Not only that, but she lent the card to her two sisters and brothers. They even wracked up purchases at the Kardashian family’s own stores!

R&B singer Brandy Norwood’s mother filed a lawsuit Monday against Kim Kardashian accusing her of running up more than $120,000 in credit card charges without permission.

The suit, which also names Kardashian’s siblings Khloe, Kourtney and Robert Jr., alleges they ran up the charges on the mother’s card in 2006 and 2007. It seeks the return of the money plus 10 percent interest.

Kim Kardashian denied the allegations, telling PEOPLE she and her siblings had Norwood’s permission to make the purchases.

“We have her signature on all items,” Kardashian says.

[From People]

I’m sure she does have signatures for all items. Pretty much all credit card companies require you to sign a receipt. But I’m also pretty sure those signatures aren’t really Sonja Norwood’s, or she wouldn’t be suing the Kardashians I’m assuming that Sonja Norwood didn’t keep close tabs on her credit card statements - and if the debt accrued slowly enough, I suppose it’s possible a wealthy enough person might not notice. Considering Kim hasn’t worked as Brandy’s stylist in several years, I can’t imagine any excuse she could give for using the Norwood’s credit card. It’s a little surprising that no one noticed, but I would imagine they probably figured it out a while ago and made other attempts to get their money back before going for a lawsuit.

Kim wasn’t just Brandy’s stylist - she was also Brandy’s brother Ray-J’s girlfriend. You’ll remember that the two had a very infamous sex tape that Ray-J sold (some say Kim was in on the deal too, though she denies it). Maybe Kim thought she was due an extended shopping spree on the Norwood’s dime. The Kardashians are famous due to their deceased father, O.J. Simpson lawyer Robert Kardashian. Considering their legal linerage, I’m surprised they haven’t paid up. I doubt they have a leg to stand on - and if nothing else, it makes an already tacky family look that much worse.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here are the lovely Kardashian sisters (left to right) Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe - at New Years Eve at Mansion. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Lest you think Kim Kardashian is anything but classiness on a stick, she wants you to know that she’s not a wild drunken party girl like all the other celebutards out there. No, Kim is brains, Kim is compassion, and Kim is… you’re not even listening to me, are you? You’re thinking about her ass! Jerk. Kim and her butt are is on the cover of the December issues of Playboy, in a joint promotion between said butt and her new E! television show “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” Kim says she’s not nude in the magazine, but that you will see her whole butt… which entails about as much skin as most playmates show in a nude shoot. Did I make enough big butt jokes here? Are you hearing Sir-Mix-a-Lot in your head yet?

Us: How revealing is your Playboy shoot?
Kim Kardashian: It is not as revealing as some people might want. I keep it classy and covered up. I do bare my whole butt. And a little bit of my chest. But that’s it. It was something that I was really nervous about doing at first and this is the first time I am talking about it. I consulted the whole family and I decided this is the way I would have wanted it to come out.

Us: What’s it like having cameras around you 24-7 while filming your reality show?
KK: I think we are used to it now. I am really excited because I feel like there are so many misconceptions of what us Hollywood girls are really like. We are so different from what people would think and I think everyone is going to be shocked.

Us: What are some of the misconceptions?
KK: Everyone thinks that I am this wild party girl and that I get drunk and dance on tables, but I don’t even drink alcohol. We [she and sisters Khloe and Kourtney] own businesses and we work every single day and we have 10 kids in the family and we did not grow up with nannies.

Us: Are you dating [NFL running back] Reggie Bush?
KK: We’re really close friends. He’s such an amazing guy! But between me being busy with the new show, and his being in the middle of the football season, it’s not like I have time to dedicate myself to a relationship right now anyway.

Us: Why don’t you and Paris Hilton hang out anymore?
KK: I love Paris. We grew up together, but friends drift apart and we just don’t hang out like we used to. Maybe someday we will again.

Us: You briefly dated Nick Lachey in 2006. Have you seen him since he met Vanessa Minnillo?
KK: I ran into him once earlier this year at a club. He’s always a gentleman. We only went on a few dates a long time ago. It’s not like we have to be uncomfortable.

[From Us Magazine]

Something tells me that Kim Kardashian does more than enough in the span of a few dates that might make it uncomfortable to run into an ex. But I’m projecting here. I’m sure her show will be an absolute “must catch.” I mean no one does quality reality programming quite like E! I’m guessing it’ll be a lot of following her around (from behind, of course) while she wears a variety of velour and terrycloth tracksuits. Sometimes Kim will hold a purse-sized dog, sometimes a glittery cell phone, and often wear overly-large sunglasses. We will see her lunch with some other nearly unknowns, and once in a while make a reference to her dear father, the deceased OJ Simpson lawyer Robert Kardashian, who’s Kim’s only relation who deserves some respect (not for OJ, but he was a talented lawyer). Then Kim will drop something, bend over, and the camera will get back to business.