Ugh, let’s do this. I have to admit, it’s incredibly smart of Esquire to release their Brad Pitt cover story piece by piece, spreading out the revelations and quotes throughout the week. Today’s revelations from the Esquire piece do not come from Brad, however. They are from his “longtime makeup artist” Jean Black. Black has apparently been working for Brad for 23 years, and she spends some time in the article praising Brad for keeping his natural look, his wrinkles, her unkemptness. Black told Esquire, “He’s not fighting it.” Then Black seemed to go WAY off-message and she named Jennifer Aniston. RUH-ROH.

Um, really? Brad Pitt’s Esquire interview has even more surprising revelations — this time from Jean Black, a makeup artist and friend who has worked with Pitt, 49, on nearly all of his films since 1990. Speaking with Esquire, Black sheds new light on Pitt’s legendary meeting with Angelina Jolie on the 2004 set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, when he was still married (apparently unhappily) to Jennifer Aniston.

“I think Brad was ready to soar when he met Angie,” says Black, who then quickly clarified of Aniston, whom Pitt divorced in 2006: “This is not to say anything negative about Jennifer. I was part of that and I know that he and Jennifer are very good friends and he cared deeply for her.”

“But in Angie,” Black continued, “he saw a very adventurous person who was grabbing on to life and taking it to its nth degree. It was intriguing because I felt Brad had that in him and wanted to unleash it.”

Whether or not Pitt and Aniston, 43, are actually “very good friends” these days, the World War Z actor himself intimated to Esquire that he was deeply depressed about ten years ago during his marriage to Aniston. Saying he’d done major “drug damage” to himself, Pitt said he was a “drifter . . . I spent years f–king off.” About ten years ago, all that changed.

“It was an epiphany — a decision not to squander my opportunities,” he explains. “It was a feeling of, ‘Get up.’ Because otherwise, what’s the point?”

[From Us Weekly]

OMG, just go ahead and scream that this was ALL Brad’s doing and why can’t he let it go and why does he have to throw so many pity parties and it’s so crazy that People Magazine gave him a “Five Years After Jennifer” cover. Oh… wait. Well, certainly we can scream at Brad because obviously he authorized this woman to speak on his behalf and he told her what to say and isn’t that the most vicious thing his surrogate has ever said about poor, maligned Jennifer? Oh wait.

So… whatever. I’m sure there will be arguments and conspiracy theories but I tend to think this woman was just kind “off message” and what she said wasn’t even that offensive. Who here doesn’t think that when Brad got with Angelina, something inside of him was “unleashed”? As for the idea that Brad and Jennifer are still “friends”… no. They aren’t. They might pay lip service to that idea, but they aren’t friends. I think it was just a verb tense fail – she meant to say “they WERE good friends, he cared deeply for her”.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

So the trailer is out for Jennifer Aniston’s new movie, We’re the Millers. I guess this is supposed to be dirty? This is supposed to be like a gross-out R-rated Judd Apatow-type of comedy? Eh. Are we sure that Jason Sudeikis is interesting enough to be a comedic leading man? Because I’m not sure. I will accept Sudeikis as a supporting character, of course. But I just don’t know if he’s pulling this off. As for Jennifer… she’s playing a 40-something stripper with wigs and lingerie and booty shakes and vulgarity. And I’m not sure she’s pulling it off either.

Here’s the regular trailer (SFW):

Here’s the redband trailer (NFSW because of balls and some language):

I’m sure there will be a lot of Jennifer-fans who think this was a long time coming, that she should have been doing dirty R-rated comedies for a while. And I’m sure there will be some Aniston-fans who think this seems kind of cheesy, gross and uncomfortable for her. Eh.

As long as we’re doing trailers, have you seen the latest Man of Steel trailer? Now this is something I want to see. Michael Shannon as General Zod is my everything.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Oooh, the second Brangelina cover story in a row for People Magazine. And still no quotes from Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie! Still, People Mag has sources close to Brangelina and I’m sure that this cover and last week’s cover were “approved” by Team Brangelina. This week’s story is about how Brad supported Angelina during her mastectomy surgeries:

Talk about teamwork. In the weeks surrounding Angelina Jolie’s preventive double mastectomy and subsequent reconstructive surgery, her fiancé, Brad Pitt, served as her No. 1 support.

At the bustling home they share with their six kids in the Los Feliz neighborhood of Los Angeles, “Brad did everything he could to keep things secret and protect Angie,” a family insider tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story.

Using early morning appointments and rental cars to avoid discovery, “They really wanted Angie to be able to recover and rest before they shared the story,” says the insider.

The actress’s medical ordeal only deepened the bond between Jolie, 37, and Pitt, 49, a couple for seven years. Those close to them say the pair’s teamwork is always on display, in public and private.

“They are very loving and inspiring to each other, exchanging ideas,” says Jeremy Kleiner, a longtime exec at Pitt’s Plan B production company and producer on his upcoming movie World War Z.

On-set, “He would light up when his family showed up. It’s just a very cool thing to see.”

For much more on this story, including Angelina’s next surgery and how Brad’s family has supported her, pick up this week’s issue of PEOPLE.

[From People]

People Mag keeps referencing Angelina’s “next surgery” and stuff – while Angelina referenced the idea of a partial hysterectomy or the removal of her ovaries, she hasn’t verified anywhere (that I’ve seen) that she’s planning that surgery any time soon.

Would you like an Uncool Bermuda Triangle story? Of course you would. The National Enquirer reports this week that Jennifer Aniston “cried” when she heard about Angelina’s mastectomy. A source says: “She was moved beyond belief reading Angelina’s story. It really took her by surprise how brave she is. To go through such a major thing for all her family has made Jen realise that regardless of how they hooked up, Angelina does really love Brad and [their six] kids. Sure, Jen got hurt when Brad left her and the pain dragged on for years, but she’s so over it now, and wants to extend an olive branch to Angelina.” Sure. Okay. I don’t believe it but whatever.

Here’s Jennifer’s video for her guest hosting Ellen’s show. This makes me think that they are all terrible actors.

Cover courtesy of People Mag, additional photos by WENN.

Here are some more photos of Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux in NYC yesterday. We had some photos of them from Sunday (which we discussed yesterday) too. In these photos, Jennifer and Justin made a trip to “the Interior Design Building to shop at O’Brien New York.” Then the photos of Justin solo are from later on in the day, I guess, and according to Fame/Flynet, “Justin Theroux returning to his apartment in New York City…His fiancée Jennifer Aniston rode along with him but dropped him off a block away from his apt.” LOL. Was Jennifer like, “Dude, get out of the car and walk the rest of the way”? Because if that had happened with Brad and Angelina, it would be getting the full tabloid treatment. “Brad abandons Angelina in traffic, Brad runs home with tears streaming down his face after The Villainess Jolie yells at him!”

Can we talk about how Jennifer’s once-casual-cute beach style is turning very old-lady-ish lately? It’s too much – too many layers, too much unnecessary bulk. I guess it’s on the cool-ish side in Manhattan this week (low 60s), but why the super-casual sandals WITH the bulky sweater?

As for why JustJen is currently in New York, I have no idea. I don’t think they’re working, although I guess Jennifer might have some stuff to do with Living Proof. I think they’re really just hanging out, going out to eat, going shopping, spending time with friends and going to see some shows. People Magazine has an exhaustive story about their weekend activities here – they browsed swimsuits at Barney’s, Jennifer went to Bette Midler’s show I’ll Eat You Last, etc. Oh, and People’s sources note that Jennifer was boozing it up with martinis, so seriously, she’s NOT PREGNANT.

PS… somebody got some shiny new boots! I’m glad. I was so tired of those scruffy things he wore with everything. I bet Jennifer was tired of it too.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Here are some photos of Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston walking around NYC yesterday. According to Pacific Coast News, they went shopping at Barney’s (no bags?) and then went to dinner at Fred’s, then they walked “back” on Madison Avenue. I wonder where they’re staying? Allegedly, Justin kept the New York apartment he had with Heidi Bivens (he made Heidi leave the place after nine years together), but it seems that whenever Jennifer is in town, they stay in hotels and not his place.

As for Jennifer’s baggy, figure-covering clothes… do we still have to play the “is she pregnant?” game? She’s not pregnant. The only real question I have is “Why does she insist on wearing oversized layers when she works so hard on her yoga body?” I’ll admit it – if I had a rock-hard yoga body, I would wander around in jeggings and a tank top. Her whole look is very layered, very Johnny Depp, I’m just sayin’. As for Justin’s style… never trust a man in skinny jeans. NEVER.

Page Six had this weird little item about Justin today – it’s so random:

Justin Theroux unintentionally crashed a birthday party Friday night. The actor was spotted at a corner table during a private birthday party at the rooftop of the Jane Hotel. Spies said he was with two male friends who had brought two girls, but his fiancée, Jennifer Aniston, was not in sight.

“He seemed to be reserved and low-key,” says a spy. We’re told someone had booked the space for their birthday, but staff let Theroux and his group in anyway.

[From Page Six]

Is there a side-eye in there that I’m missing? Is it supposed to be interesting that Justin was out with some friends and Jennifer wasn’t there? I mean, if you told me that there was some undercover drama in JustJen’s relationship, I would believe you, but I don’t take this story as evidence of the drama.

PS… Is it just me or does Jennifer’s diamond ALWAYS look cloudy? I’m starting to wonder if it’s quartz.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

This week’s Star Magazine cover story is amazing! I love it, even though I don’t believe most of the information in here. The basic gist is that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s engagement is on the rocks… because she still has feelings for Gerard Butler! But of course there’s more to it than that. The first part of the story is just an incident that probably never happened – Justin and Jennifer were partying at the Soho House in West Hollywood at the end of April. They looked miserable… until Gerard Butler came strutting in, and then Jen turned into a Butler fan-girl all of a sudden. Justin was visibly annoyed, so he pulled out his iPad Mini and started ignoring Gerard and Jennifer. Then after Jennifer and Gerard completely ignored him, Justin got up and started talking to other people and he and Jennifer avoided each other the rest of the evening. Then what happened? Tears and betrayal!!

When Jennifer and Justin reunited later that night, “Justin was furious. He called Jen selfish and said he’d felt like a third wheel while she flirted with Gerard all night. Jen broke down in tears. When they left, she had mascara running down her face.”

Sources say the friction between them has been building for some time. After months of fighting about everything from their careers to their families to their wedding, the couple must have finally reached their breaking point, because following the blowup, Jen and Justin called off their nuptials.

“Jen and Justin were so happy for a few weeks after getting engaged, but soon Justin got extremely annoyed with her. All she talked about was planning the wedding around her schedule, without even asking what his looked like. She even told Justin that he needed to schedule his projects around hers! Justin is a very driven guy and he won’t change his work or personal engagement for anyone, including Jen.” So, because of what he sees as Jen’s lack of respect for his career, Justin has refused to set a wedding date.

When vacationing in Mexico over Christmas, “Justin told Jen that he was seriously considering a role in a movie that would be filming later this year, and she freaked out and told him he needs to OK all his projects with her. Justin flipped out and told her that he has a career too, and there’s no way he’s giving it up for her.”

“Justin told her she’d better knock her ego down a couple of notches or he’ll never marry her.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Star goes on to say that poor Jen never talks back to Justin when he’s in one of his bitchy moods, although she did passive-aggressively go out on a friendly “dinner” (re: beej) with Gerard. Allegedly. While I wouldn’t put it past Justin to be a smack-talking tool, and I wouldn’t put it past Jennifer to demand that Justin cater to her every whim, I’m not sure about this larger theme of “Justin is going to remain independent, his career means everything to him.” He’s barely lifted a finger since he got with Jennifer. He has no film projects coming up at all, unless you count the barely-confirmed sequel to… Zoolander. Eh.

Methinks Justin likes having a sugar-mama and whatever Jennifer wants is fine with him as long as she pays the bills. For what it’s worth, Gossip Cop spoke to “a source close to Theroux” who said the story is “false”. Oh, and Gossip Cop also says that Jennifer and Gerard Butler never dated, which is funny because her publicist spent a lot of time and money trying to convince people that some kind of romantic relationship happened. Oh, well.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Yesterday, Jennifer Aniston did an event for her latest side-project/endorsement/investment deal, Living Proof. That’s the MIT-created haircare line she invested in, takes a percentage from, and is the face of. We don’t have photos of her at the event, but you can see them here. Hilariously, her hair looks really flat and thin in those photos. The photos that I’m using in this post are of Jennifer just out and about in NYC yesterday, I guess before the Living Proof photocall or whatever. I like her flip-flops. I like that she walks around NYC in flip-flops as opposed to Louboutins. At the Living Proof event, Jennifer discussed hair and hair issues:

We’d have thought Jennifer Aniston could do pretty much anything with her hair, but it turns out even the world’s most enviable mane has its limits.

“We all want somebody else’s hair,” Aniston told PEOPLE at an N.Y.C. Living Proof event, citing Gisele Bündchen as the star whose tresses she envies, and adding “I also love Kate Moss‘s hair. It’s that rolled-out-of-bed look. Somehow she can wear a couture dress and just have that. I’ve tried to do that but it doesn’t work.”

Aniston adds that no matter how many times she asks her longtime stylist Chris McMillan to give her that hair, “he’ll do whatever he wants to do.” That’s why — even though she takes care of it with Living Proof’s Restore mask, and she’ll go anywhere to get it washed — only McMillan is allowed to go near it with scissors.

And we can’t say that we blame her for being a little paranoid, considering some of the past disasters she tells us she’s had to contend with. As a kid, “I’d only had mullets! Or those haircuts when you were a kid and you’d get those crazy, like, long at the front and shaved at the back,” she says. “Oh, I just learned so many lessons from my youth of what not to do.”

So that’s why she’s bringing her “Good Hair” Living Proof webisodes (which feature McMillan and girls on the street expound on hair philosophy) to the masses. It’s all about learning from your mistakes and working with what you have, which is what, as the co-owner of the haircare line, she wants to communicate to women.

“Those girls are adorable and they’ve gotta get better perspective on their hair because they don’t have horrible hair,” Aniston says of the girls in the video series. “It’s so interesting how girls have the wrong perception of themselves.”

[From People]

It’s funny that she’s making fun of mullets, because at its heart, “The Aniston” hair cut really was a mullet – long in the back and short up front. It was a grown-out mullet. As for envying Kate Moss’s bedhead look… yeah, Moss does that really well. I don’t think Jennifer has ever REALLy tried to do a real bedhead look though. Jennifer always ruins it with flat-ironing and poker-straight blow-outs. Her hair has natural curl, and it kills me a little that she hates her own waves that much.

Here’s a Living Proof video with Jennifer and her hair guy/BFF Chris.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Here are some photos of Jennifer Aniston (and bonus Kate Beckinsale) at the LA book party for her friend Mandy Ingber and Ingber’s new book “Yogalosophy: 28 Days to the Ultimate Mind-Body Makeover”. What always amazes me about Jennifer Aniston is that she spends so much time on her body, so much time working out and eating the right food and doing an endless amount of yoga… and then she doesn’t really show off her assets when she’s on a red carpet. Like, obviously Mandy Ingber is her friend and Jennifer should be showing off her “Body By Ingber” but Jennifer is wearing this weird little black dress that makes her look pregnant.

Maybe that’s how Jennifer wants it, though. As in, she wants the “OMG Aniston looks pregnant!” headlines. I swear that this dress/tunic thing (what is it?) actually looks like maternity wear. And she really wants us to see her (cloudy) engagement ring in these photos too. Ugh, I don’t even know any more. I hope she and Justin are happy and I’m tired of this endless cycle of Bump Watch-ing her and hearing about her wedding drama.

Meanwhile, Us Weekly had a weird story yesterday – in an interview, Will Forte claimed that Jennifer helped him through a breakup while they were working together on that Elmore Leonard adaptation (slash Ruthless People remake). Forte said: “I was going through a breakup at the time and she was so giving and really helped me through it. I cannot say enough good about her. She was just a fantastic person. She was a delight to act with as much as a delight to get to know.” Sure.

UPDATE: So, guess what? I just wrote about how I was tired of the Aniston drama and guess what? THERE IS MORE DRAMA. Us Weekly reports that JustJen has “pushed back” their wedding plans because they don’t want any overlap with Brangelina:

The ex factor strikes again. Jennifer Aniston’s wedding plans with fiance Justin Theroux have hit a major roadblock in the form of the We’re the Millers actress’ ex-husband, Brad Pitt. Or, more specifically, in the form of Pitt’s upcoming nuptials with longtime love Angelina Jolie. Aniston, 44, has apparently pushed back her own big day to avoid any perceived overlap with her ex’s big day this summer, sources reveal in the new issue of Us Weekly, on stands Friday.

“She does not want her day associated with them,” one insider tells Us of the A-lister, who divorced the World War Z star in 2005. In fact, upon learning of Pitt’s plans, she initially considered moving her date up and getting married first, but Theroux, 41, changed her mind. “Justin got weirded out by all the rushing,” the source says.

There’s certainly no rush now. According to the insider, Aniston has put wedding planning completely on hold. “Nothing has happened on that front in a month,” the source tells Us.

To be fair, the star has a lot on her plate. She recently wrapped filming on a new movie, the Untitled Elmore Leonard Project, and she and Theroux have been busy redecorating their $21 million Bel Air mansion, which features 8,500 square feet, four bedrooms, six-and-a-half bathrooms, a swimming pool, and its own vineyard. Taking a break from making arrangements could actually turn out to be a good thing for her — and her relationship with her screenwriter beau.

“She has been cranky from this stress,” an insider tells Us. “Justin’s never seen her like this.”

[From Us Weekly]

Um, it’s worth noting that we have no idea when Brad and Angelina are going to get married. It could be this weekend, it could be a year from now. So is Jennifer just going to wait and see when Brangelina goes through with it before she even begins to plan her wedding?

Photos courtesy of Daniel Tanner/WENN.com.

Shortly after Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux stunned the world by announcing their engagement (the same weekend the tabloids claimed Brangelina were going to wed in France), the tabloids had fun with whether or not Jennifer would make Justin sign a prenup. While Justin has some money saved – I would estimate his net worth to probably be seven figures – Jennifer is one of the wealthiest women in Hollywood, with an estimated net worth of $120 million, give or take. I don’t think anybody would hold it against Jennifer to be smart about her assets and get an ironclad prenup, which is what the tabloids initially claimed. But now they’re saying Jennifer doesn’t think a prenup is romantic.

Jennifer Aniston must really be head over heels in love with her soon-to-be husband, Justin Theroux, because she’s reportedly willing to put her fortune on the line by nixing Justin’s gracious offer to sign a prenuptial agreement!

“Jen’s absolutely adamant about not having a prenup,” a source close to Jennifer told OK! magazine. “She told several friends: ‘I’m choosing love, not money. And people are just going to have to deal with it.’” Good for you, Jen!

The 44-year-old actress’ romantic decision is a definite risk, one that could reportedly cost her about $150 million if she and Justin end up getting divorced. But she’s so in love that a prenup just seems insulting. “I couldn’t be in a relationship without equality, generosity, integrity, spirit, kindness, and humor,” Jen told OK.

Understandably, Jennifer’s friends are reportedly concerned about her all-in attitude. “It’s a sweet and romantic thing to do,” the source adds. “But a number of friends are desperately worried her decision could come back to haunt her one day.” Jen was so badly hurt when Brad Pitt left her, it makes sense that her friends are extremely protective of her.

But reportedly Jen won’t hear it — “Everything is going so well between Jen and Justin right now, she doesn’t want to taint the romance,” the source says. Oh, to be in love.

[From Hollywood Life]

Did anyone else giggle at “taint the romance”? No? Just me? OK, I have the sense of humor of a 13-year-old boy. TAINT. Sorry. Anyway, there was a story last year that I actually believed – that Jennifer was so in love with her artist fiancé that she was putting him in charge of all of her business and career decisions. They were going to make ART together. They were going to be artists who share everything. I’m starting to wonder if that’s what we’re seeing. Then again, this story does originate in OK! Magazine, so it’s probably BS.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I have a pretty low tolerance for whatever “holistic” remedy is currently trending. I realize that might make me a pariah in general, but I’ve always believed that if you’re feeling rough, you should take an Advil, drink a glass of water and get a good night’s sleep. That’s my cure-all for most things. But I don’t have more money than God and too much time on my hands like many celebrities. That’s why I find Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goopy advice so annoying so often – it’s not just that she’s a snob, a smug elitist deigning to advise peasants on The Wisdom of Goop. It’s that more often than not, her advice is bullsh-t. She has too much money and too much time and she creates problems just to find convoluted solutions.

This cupping thing is a good example. Gwyneth was “cupping” years ago. And Jennifer Aniston revealed cupping marks last week at the premiere of Lifetime’s Call Me Crazy. To me, the idea of cupping seems about as wise as putting leeches on your body to suck out an illness. Go ahead and yell at me! I can take it. Anyway, Grazia (via The Mail) has a theory as to why Jennifer Aniston is “cupping”: to promote her fertility! Because at the age of 44, Jennifer has no use for “science” to help her conceive.

She hit headlines when she was spotted with cupping marks on her back at a film premiere earlier this month. But now it has been claimed the 44-year-old actress could be relying on the ancient Asian therapy in a bid to boost her fertility. According to reports, Jennifer has been looking at different natural ways to increase her chances of conceiving a baby with her fiancé Justin Theroux.

A source told Grazia magazine: ‘Jennifer has always said she wants to conceive naturally and is very open to exploring alternative therapies to help her.’

The source also revealed that Jennifer has been inspired by 46-year-old Halle Berry’s recent pregnancy announcement, adding: ‘It was Gwyneth Paltrow who told her how cupping can encourage fertility.’

And cupping expert Boniface Verney-Carron said that while cupping can’t help women who have a medical reason preventing them from conceiving, it can help those looking for a boost in heir bid to conceive.

She added to the publication: ‘The basic idea of cupping is to drag toxins out of the body and to bring fresh blood flow, which eases congestion, boosts circulation and reduces stress and tension. So it’s brilliant for treating infertility – in particular unexplained fertility. It can help women who are seemingly healthy, and their partners are healthy, but for some reason they’re still not getting pregnant. In the clinic, we often find these women are carrying stress or tension in a certain part of the body. Fertility cupping is usually part of a session involving acupuncture or osteopathic work to ease congestion and stress, which increases their chances of falling pregnant.’

Meanwhile, Dr Saud Hadi from the British Acupuncture Council said that the placing of Jennifer’s marks – either side of her spine – also suggest she is having the therapy to boost her fertility. Jennifer displayed the cupping marks on her back as she arrived at the Los Angeles screening of Call Me Crazy. It appeared Jennifer had hoped to disguise them with some foundation, but the too pale colour showed up under the paparazzi’s flashes.

[From The Mail]

The thing is, I actually believe that Jennifer probably did “cup” as a holistic way to rid her body of toxins and to get healthier, etc. She’s like Gwyneth Paltrow in that way – you could sell either of them anything if you labeled it “holistic” or “all-natural” or “exclusive”. Maybe Jennifer really did do it to promote her fertility too. But honestly, how long do we have to keep talking about Jennifer’s fertility? I thought we were nearing the end and then BAM! Halle Berry struck and now we’re going to have to do YEARS more Bump Watching on Jennifer. It just seems like… if Jennifer wanted a baby, she would have a baby. She would just do it, either by pregnancy or by adoption or surrogacy or whatever. She has the money and the time. That’s never been the issue. The issue is the inclination.

Meanwhile, The Mail is also reporting that JustJen’s wedding is being postponed, but they aren’t breaking up or anything. They just can’t agree on what kind of wedding they want to have and they’re too lazy to figure something out, I guess. A source says, “Jen and Justin have been totally relaxed about the wedding planning. They’re looking forward to the wedding, but they have different ideas about the actual wedding itself. It’s not to do with them as a couple, they’re madly in love. Every time you see them they’ve got their arms around each other. Jen wants something bigger with all their friends, Justin would just like something a bit more intimate. At this point, we’re expecting the wedding to be at the end of the summer, just before Labor Day Weekend.” Maybe they’re just waiting to see when Brangelina goes through with their wedding…? NO, of course not!

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame/Flynet.