I know many of you think of me as an awful, rude and terrible person/bitch/c-bomb. It’s true, I am. But I do actually try to avoid making fun of people for things that I feel they can’t help. Like, I’ll make fun of someone’s hair or their makeup or their clothes, because those are the things that can be changed, and those are the CHOICES that people make. But when I saw these photos of LeAnn Rimes at the premiere of Re: Generation Music Project, my first reaction was “Oh dear God, THAT FACE.” Of course, much of the problem is LeAnn’s styling. Many of you think she’s flat-out hideous, but I think LeAnn can actually look cute when she’s styled properly (and when she eats solids). This hair and this makeup accentuates all of LeAnn’s problem areas, though. Plus, the lighting must have been bad because she just looks extra squinty. It’s all-around awful.

That’s not all – LeAnn appeared on Chelsea Lately last night and this outfit was even worse. WHY would LeAnn wear a keyhole dress that shows off her sketchy bolt-ons? As for the actual interview – Chelsea has talked crap about LeAnn in the past, but now they’re buddy-buddy. LeAnn talks about her weight, of course, claiming that she’s only lost her “baby fat”. I have to say… Chelsea was really nice to her. I guess Chelsea is fine with homewreckers as long as they’re named “Jennifer Aniston” and “LeAnn Rimes” and they come on her show.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Justin Theroux hasn’t had a job since he met Jennifer Aniston. Okay, that’s not exactly the truth. He hasn’t had an acting job since Wanderlust was filmed in 2010, but he was one of four credited screenwriters on Rock of Ages, the Tom Cruise movie which comes out this summer. I don’t remember hearing about Justin on the set of Rock of Ages, so maybe he wasn’t very hands-on during production? Which basically means Justin has been unemployed for a year and a half. It’s by choice, though. Producers are offering him acting gigs, but he keeps turning them down because it would mean time away from his new girl. His sugar mama “demands” that he not be further than a five-hour plane ride. Which means no international work, basically.

Dating Jennifer Aniston may have made Justin Theroux a household name, but it probably won’t turn him into a movie star.

According to a friend, at Jen’s request, Justin recently turned down two roles because they shot out of the country and Jen didn’t want to be separated for that long. She has separation anxiety and told him she didn’t want him that far away.

“She initiated a rule that he can’t be further than a five-hour plane trip so he had to pass on the projects.”

The pal says Jennifer knows that distance does not make the heart grow fonder. “She wants to be with him 24/7.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

“She has separation anxiety” - like she’s a dog? My dog has separation anxiety. He gets really upset if I’m gone longer than two hours. Like, he’ll pout about it when I come home and then for the next few hours, he’ll just stare at me like he’s seeing me for the first time, a look of betrayal and anger. I wonder if Aniston is the same? That’s the part I believe – “She wants to be with him 24/7.” She seems like That Girl.

But – I don’t care for how In Touch basically “blames” Aniston and her “rules” for Justin not taking a job. If he wanted to work, he would. He’s a big boy. He’s 40 years old, for God’s sake. It’s his decision. And I don’t understand why Aniston wouldn’t simply travel with him while he worked overseas if he really wanted to take a certain job?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ugh, we have even more of Jennifer “Did You Know I Was Married To Brad Pitt?” Aniston’s InStyle cover story for the March issue. A few days ago, we had the early excerpts – of course she mentioned Brad, and how it’s totally a misconception that they’re in some kind of “feud” and that it’s all just a media conspiracy for profit. She also discussed Justin Theroux and how she totally did NOT change her style when they got together. Speaking of that exact thing, she also says she does want to change her style now that she’s with Justin. And of course, she discusses her diet and exercise plan.

Changing her style: “On the red carpet, it’s time for me to start doing something different. I play it very safe because I just want to be comfortable … if I could wear a jersey tank that went down to the floor, I would.”

Did she mention her hair yet? Here we go. “I’ve been thinking about dyeing my hair a dark brown. I feel it would be healthier.”

Justin’s style: ”He has great style. It’s very specific, and it has been his style forever. Has it influenced mine? No, but I know people say it has.”

Workouts: “I work out almost every day, at least five or six days a week. I do 40 minutes of cardio: spinning, running, the elliptical, or a combination of all three. Then I do Pilates one day a week, and I do yoga in addition to that, three days a week. I try to mix it up.”

Traveling workouts: “I take 8 pound weights with me whenever I’m staying in a hotel. It’s always good to do arm exercises when you’re watching television or talking on the phone. I also love to stretch before I go to bed, and usually throw in a couple of sit-ups.”

Diet: “Most of the time I eat things like salmon or other fish, quinoa, lentils, and green vegetables. You’re told to avoid fried food, but I don’t always. I had Mexican the other night and ate everything you can imagine! I also take Omega Cure liquid fish oil and resveratrol, which is supposed to be good for your heart.”

[From Radar & People Mag]

I’m not going to complain too much about these interview excerpts, mostly because she’s talking about stuff I wish she had been doing for years. She would look GREAT if she gave up the Real Housewife blonde and went for a rich brunette – it would make her eyes pop, and I think it would make her look younger too. I’d also love to see her change up her red carpet style. I get tired of her minidresses and LBDs. I know she’d be more comfortable in jeans and flip-flops (I’m that way too), but for a supposed “style icon” she rarely takes any fashion risks, and she rarely dresses in a way that compliments her figure in a classy way.

Photos courtesy of InStyle scans, WENN.

Chelsea Handler covers the new issue of Redbook, for some reason. Blah. I guess she’s promoting her E! show, and maybe her NBC show with Laura Prepon. How’s that show doing? The commercials for it look absolutely terrible. Like, I actually wince. I’m not saying that every TV show has to have a “likeable” main character (in fact, it’s more interesting if the lead is not likeable), but shouldn’t the main character – who is based on Chelsea – be interesting enough to want to follow? Isn’t that the crux of good writing? You want to see what happens, you want to follow those characters. With a character based on Chelsea, you know what happens. She gets drunk. She makes tasteless jokes about her vadge. Rinse and repeat.

Anyway, about the Redbook interview. She’s full of it. She’s still talking about her BFF Jennifer Aniston and how tight they are. She’s also trying to become some advocate for anti-bullying I guess. This is the woman who ranted and raved about Angelina being a “f–king c–t” and “f–king bitch” and makes racist “jokes” about children. Yes, Chelsea is such an amazing anti-bullying role model. And did she mention she’s BFFs with ANISTON?!!?!?

Thanksgiving with Aniston: “Jen and Justin came to my house for Thanksgiving with 18 of my staff members. And so what?”

BFFs with Aniston and Reese Witherspoon too: “I mean, Jennifer Aniston is one of the most down to earth, low-key people I know. She’s just a regular girl. And Reese is the same way. I mean you can’t have friendships that aren’t based on realness. I’m not going to treat them any differently than I would any other of my friends.”

Women have to stick together: “I read this cheesy quote once: ‘Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours glow brighter.’ We women have to stick together. People ask me why I’m so hard on men. It’s because they’ve gotten a really easy ride. And it’s not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50. I’m very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter. I like having a fraternity. I like girls and boys together, misfits and underdogs—I love underdogs. I was an underdog. I’ve always felt bad for the girl who was left out.”

On 50 Cent: “I wasn’t like ‘Oh, I’m going to marry 50 Cent…’ I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He’s very sweet and antithetical to what you’d think of him. I bought [my Bentley] when I was dating 50 Cent. He came over with a Ferrari one night, and I’m like Watch this. So I got a Bentley. Meanwhile, he never even bought that Ferrari. He took it on loan. And here I am, Ahhh…I just bought this Bentley.”

The bullied becomes the bully: “I was tortured [in high school], and probably half of it was deserved, but I was bullied—so much so that there were days when I was like, ‘I can’t go to school today.’ I was too scared. They’d call me a dog, and bark at me and say, ‘You’re fat. You’re ugly.’ The girl who used to torture me, the ringleader, showed up backstage at one of my concerts in Newark. I looked at her and said, ‘I know you.’ And she went, [high-pitched voice] ‘Ahhh, I’m so sorry for having tortured you in high school!’ And I said, ‘I’m so over it. Actually, thank you, because you gave me the impetus to be successful.’”

[From Us Weekly & Redbook]

Is she just that lacking in self-awareness, or is this all a game to her? Does she actually know what she’s doing – consciously mean-girling the “bitches” and “c–nts” while proclaiming to be all about the sisterhood, all as some kind of PR game? Or does she not even realize what an enormous hypocritical a–hole she is?

Photos courtesy of Redbook.

Jennifer Aniston covers the March issue of InStyle Magazine, all to promote her upcoming film, Wanderlust. That’s the film where she met Justin Theroux, back in 2010, when he was dating Heidi Bivens. Some say Justin and Jen hooked up on the set of the film, some say it happened months later, in the Spring of 2011. In any case, Jennifer is in full promotional mode, which means talking about her boyfriend. And talking about her ex-husband, of course. “Jennifer Aniston: Seven Years After BRAD!!!” Everybody is going to keep count, of course. Here are some highlights from Aniston’s interview:

Uncool Bermuda Triangle Misconceptions: “Which one? There are so many. I would say the triangle with my ex-husband – and that there’s a feud there. It’s constant. It’s a story headline that won’t go away, but it’s a money thing – [people make money off] a story that has nothing to do with reality.”

Her previous relationships sucked: “Having experienced everything you don’t want in a partner over time, it starts to narrow down what you actually do want. As I get older, I realize what qualities are important in love and what suits me. And what I won’t settle for.”

On her culinary skills: “I’d love to say I’m an accomplished cook, but I don’t have any signature dishes. I’m good at breakfast – I make great eggs. My father gave me a little recipe. It’s all in the seasoning. But it’s a Greek secret. I won’t give it away!”

On her favorite thing about boyfriend Justin Theroux’s style: “First of all, he has great style – it’s very specific, and it has been his style forever. Has it influenced mine? No, but I know people say it has.’Oh, look, you’re dressing alike.’ And I think, no I’m not. I’ve had this jacket for three years!”

On what career she’d pick if she had to change: “Directing. I was very proud of producing and directing for the beautiful project ‘Five.’ Or I’d love to be a dermatologist. I’d be so obsessive about it. I’m fascinated by skin, products, and lasers. I go on the Internet and read all about it. I call it ‘laser porn.’”

On the biggest risk she’s taken in life: “I’m not sure. Just walking out of the house can be a risk!”

Feeling old: “You know what makes me feel old? When I see girls who are 20-something, or the new crop of actresses, and think, Aren’t we kind of the same age?” the 43-year-old says. “I don’t feel my age. I feel young every day.”

[Via OK! Mag, The Gossip Girls]

I understand the point she’s making about the Bermuda Triangle and how much other people profit from it, but she does realize that she’s profited from it extensively too? She got to play the victim for years and years, and it became part of the “good girl” image that defined her career throughout the last half of the aughts. And besides that, STILL talking about her ex-husband (seven years later) is still the best way for her to get headlines. Oh, and I don’t buy that the feud is just in our heads either – remember when Brad’s Parade interview came out? The next week, Us Weekly’s cover story came directly from Team Aniston, all about how poor Jen was the victim of Brad’s evil ways once again.

But for her sake, I hope Justin is “the one”. I hope they’re very happy together. And I hope Heidi Bivens gives a tell-all interview in which she plays the victim.

Photos courtesy of InStyle.

Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie have one big thing in common: the tabloids are never content to allow them to just BE. They are both in a constant state of tabloid-induced drama, either loved up and pregnant or emotionally unstable and breaking up. Most of the tabloids have Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux in a state of loved-up, real-estate-purchasing, baby-making bliss. True, In Touch Weekly tried to start something a month ago when they claimed that Justin had “walked out” after Aniston incessantly nagged him about proposing, but other than that, their relationship hasn’t gotten the kind of negative scrutiny that you’d expect from an alleged homewrecking of a 14 year relationship. Is that about to change? I don’t know. The Enquirer reports this week that all is not well in JustJen-ville. Jennifer seems to treat Justin like his only duty is to carry her purse – that she’s the star, and he’s just “Mr. Jennifer Aniston”.

While eating with Jennifer Aniston at Hollywood’s Tower Bar, Justin Theroux stopped to visit with Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban.

An eyewitness says, “Justin wanted to hobnob, and while Jen waved at Nicole and Keith, she clearly wasn’t in the mood to chat… as Justin exchanged pleasantries with them, Jen clutched his arm and tried to pull him away. Justin got flustered and said, ‘Stop it – just give me a minute.’ Jen huffed off toward the exit, but came back a moment later. Justin hurriedly said his goodbyes to Nicole and Keith, and then Jennifer grabbed his arm again and led him out of the restaurant. Justin could be heard saying, ‘Holy crap,’ and ‘What’ was that all about?’ They were hissing at each other as they left.”

The tiff isn’t too surprising, said a source close to Aniston.

“Jennifer clearly is the controlling one in the relationship, and independent Justin is fighting back,” explained the source. “He’s a successful guy, but Jennifer is a wealthy superstar. And if she doesn’t feel like stopping and socializing with people, then she thinks Justin should follow along.”

Aniston also recently purchased a $21 million estate in Bel Air. The source says, “She was telling Justin that she wants her main base to be on the West Coast. That may not fit comfortably with him.”

And while she desperately wants to start a family with Justin, trouble has been brewing between them for the past few months, the insider reveals.

“Just has his own acting, screenwriting and directing career, and he’s sort of a man-about-town. He’s a hard time playing Mr. Jennifer Aniston. But Jen stood by Justin when she found out about his womanizing and problems with drugs in the past. And if he wants to remain the other half of a power couple, he’s going to have to learn to bend to Jennifer’s moods – both good and bad.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

I mostly don’t believe this because Aniston doesn’t come across as a ballbuster, ever, in any situation. Aniston is not a “my way or the highway” kind of woman – she’s a whiner. She’ll complain about something not going her way, but would she actively try to change someone’s behavior? That being said, Justin signed on for all of this – he changed his representation to CAA, he lets Aniston pay the bills, he follows her around from city to city. So is struggling under the pressure? Or is everything fine in JustJen-ville?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.