I’ve never really formed a strong opinion of Blake Shelton. I do love tall, lanky men, and I will admit to finding him attractive. His personality seems… I don’t know, he’s seems like a goofball at best, and kind of like a drunk, bigoted redneck at worst. He’s on Twitter, and over the last year, his tweets have been causing him problems. The biggest controversy was probably when everyone thought he was trying to incite violence against homosexuals, but Blake later tried to explain it all away, claiming that he has gay friends and that he’s not a homophobe. Anyway, Blake covers this weekend’s Parade Magazine, and he talks about how he’s drunk a lot, which might explain more than he realizes. But what’s really interesting is what he drinks. Hint: it’s the least masculine drink you’d ever want your man to drink.

Blake’s drunk-tweeting: Blake Shelton is sweet on tweeting. Almost daily, no matter how busy he is, he whips out his iPhone, punches in messages of 140 characters or less, and—bam!—his close to 600,000 Twitter followers know exactly what’s on his mind. Mostly, the Oklahoma-born country star makes jokes. “I’m so drunk right now I just tried to change the channel on my aquarium …” reads one of the more printable entries. He taps out an “I’m so drunk …” missive nearly every day, or its equally sozzled cousin, “I’m so hungover. …”

On whether he’s a drunk: “[Tweeting is] just a way to say something ridiculous. Yeah, I drink a lot,” says the singer, whose beverage of choice is Bacardi rum mixed with Crystal Light, “but I’m not drunk every night.” Another favorite: “Blake-aritas,” or Bacardi mixed with Sprite Zero.

On the homophobia controversy: “Shoot, man, I love everybody! I don’t have time to hate,” he says today. Still, joking comes naturally to him: When New York State made same-sex marriage legal in June and someone tweeted to get his reaction, he shot back in Sheltonesque fashion, “I’m very gay about it!!” All kidding aside, he sincerely favors the right of same-sex couples to wed. “I have a life,” he says, “and I want everyone else to have one, too.”

On his 2006 divorce: “It was the worst experience of my life. Nothing was worth risking that again. I wanted to be really sure this time, and I wanted Miranda to be really sure.”

On the impact of The Voice. “It’s only now that I realize how big a hit it is. If I get recognized in New York, there’s something going on. People are looking at me like a new artist, and it’s exciting. It’s great because all I ever wanted to be is a country singer, and this is the type of show that magnifies what I do. It’s a dream job, it really is.

On his fellow coaches, Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo Green, and Adam Levine. “We joke and make fun of each other to each other’s faces. I make fun of Cee Lo for dressing like a peacock and I make fun of Christina for being a diva. I think that’s why we all get along, because we know it’s just in fun. We’re talking about one episode where we all want to dress up like Cee Lo. We haven’t gotten Christina on board yet, but she’ll normally do anything Adam tells her, so…”

On moonshine being available at his wedding to Miranda Lambert. “Back when I was younger, that was a funny thing to do, take a shot of moonshine. I don’t do it anymore—it will rot your insides out. But people who hadn’t done it were trying it, and I’m sure they were regretting it the next day. It was the real deal.”

[From Parade (two articles)]

Moonshine, Bacardi and Crystal Light (disgusting) and Bacardi and Sprite Zero. WTF, dude? I wonder if those are Miranda’s drinks of choice, and Blake has just adopted them because she‘s the bartender. All I know is that if I was with a dude who ordered a rum and Crystal Light, I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing. Have some respect for yourself, dude. Get a light beer if you‘re worried about calories.

Also – LMAO at “We haven’t gotten Christina on board yet, but she’ll normally do anything Adam tells her, so…” That is excellent. Adam Levine has power over Christina. How can we use this to our advantage?

Photos courtesy of WENN.