We all remember the horrific injuries sustained by Rihanna in early 2009 when Chris Brown beat the living hell out of her. Fortunately, Rihanna broke off that relationship and hasn’t gone back — although she might have looked back once or twice because a pattern of abuse is very difficult to break even (or especially) on the victim’s end. I always assumed that, in the end, everyone but Chris was happy that Rihanna has chosen that route for herself; certainly, I never imagined that members of her family would be rooting for Rihanna to get back with the guy, but the latest issue of The Enquirer says that is precisely the case. Yeah, I know it sounds unbelievable, right?
Here’s the thing — it’s not like The Enquirer gathered this information from “an insider” close to the family or anything suspect like that. Instead, these are Rihanna’s actual cousins talking to the publication, and they speak of Chris in bizarrely glowing terms:
Rihanna’s closest family members have made an impassioned plea for her to get back together with abusive ex-boyfriend Chris Brown, The ENQUIRER can exclusively reveal.
But experts say reuniting with Brown – who pleaded guilty to a felony after savagely beating the “Umbrella” singer during a ferocious argument — would only reignite the cycle of violence in the couple’s relationship.
Despite that, two of Rihanna’s cousins claim the Grammy winner’s family still loves the shamed star and have forgiven him for viciously assaulting the 23-year-old beauty.
Chris made a mistake, but I forgive him,” Nicola Alleyne told The ENQUIRER. “I think he got hit too. Knowing Rihanna like I do, it was a fight. But I would love them to be back together. I really think Chris still loves her.”
Nicola, a 34-year-old mother of two, bonded with Brown when Rihanna brought him to her native Barbados to meet her family.
“She introduced Chris to everybody. He was really, really nice,” recalled Nicola, whose sister, Noella, travels the world with Rihanna when she’s on tour. Their mother, Rihanna’s Aunt Marcel, hosted the celebrity couple at her home.
“Chris’ mother, sister, nephew and cousin also came. My mother made dinner, and Chris sat on the floor and ate her Guyanese food — baked salt fish and rice.”
Rihanna’s cousin Amanda Thompson — who, like Nicola, works in the fish market and clothing shop that are both owned by Rihana’s extended family in the Barbados capital of Bridgetown — also wishes the couple would rekindle their romance. “I loved Chris Brown,” 38-year-old Amanda — who fondly remembers braiding a young Rihanna’s hair — told The ENQUIRER.
“I met him after Rihanna had just won her first Grammy. She had a party in the Boatyard Bar in Bridgetown, and I danced with him. I don’t know what happened, but I would love for them to get back together. Everybody makes mistakes.”
[From The Enquirer, print edition, September 19, 2011]
Honestly, I find the behavior of Rihanna’s cousins in this instance to be rather disgusting. Exactly what kind of a supportive family member would (publicly or otherwise) encourage their cousin to get back together with an abusive ex-boyfriend? All based upon the fact that he was “really nice” and sat on the floor while eating fish and rice. Of course Chris was cordial to Rihanna’s family because he probably wanted to make a good impression, but that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t a violent nightmare behind closed doors. And he undoubtedly was just that.
In this case, there is photographic evidence that Chris beat the living crap out of Rihanna, and yet her cousins are willing to overlook that as trivial in light of the fact that he was sweet and danced with them. They honestly seem to believe that Chris merely made a series of consecutive mistakes when his fist hit Rihanna over and over again. How would these cousins feel if Rihanna took their advice and ended up dead one day because of it? I don’t even want to think about that; and hopefully, Rihanna will ignore her cousins’ misguided words too. Not only is her own safety at stake, but she also must think about the image she sets forth to her fans that experience abusive relationships as well.
Photos courtesy of Fame
When you show no respect for yourself, how are others meant to.
Wow. These women are ridiculous. Ignore them, Rihanna.
@layla
I hope you aren’t talking about abused women, because if you are, you really are displaying your cluelessness about domestic violence. Wow.
Rihanna is poison for Chris. He is just getting his career back and MUST never get back with her for both their sakes.
rih rih would probably would still be with him if the abuse had not become public
who knows if it’s true, but if it is, then she’s got aholes for relatives. I think rihanna’s upbringing in general sounds pretty dysfunctional though, so it’s not surprising she found herself in an abusive relationship. Hope she has a better support system in place now.
@SealTeam6 and Layla – I think it’s more like she got out of this relationship and she would have no self respect to go back. Not that abused women shouldnt be respected. She isn’t in the thick of it anymore, she should be able to see clearly.
Hopefully she’ll stay the hell away from him, and he’ll do the same out of common courtesy.
@Seal Team – No .. not at all!
I’m referring to Rihanna quite openly being ok/friendly with Chris Brown. If she is fine with once again starting some kind of relationship (whether its friendship or more) with him, then how can one expect her friends/family to have a different stance.
To me – she is disrespecting herself by associating herself with him once again. Its hard to walk away, no doubt, but we all saw the pictures of the abuse she took…
Were there more documented cases of Chris beating her, besides the one with the picture of her face beat to shit?
I’m not trying to start a fight, I just don’t have a very good memory.
juliesunflower-screw chris and his career. He beat her until she had huge welts on her head and choked her out. He has no remorse and he’s an entitled ass, I hope his career stalls. He shows no concern about his continued behavior of being an abusive douche affecting his career, why should you?
Beating someone to a pulp is not a “mistake”.
This is disgusting. And sadly I bet she’s not the only abused woman to have stupid family members say such things. What if he had killed her? Would they still say such lovely things about him? I think not.
Being able to forgive is good, but in no way does that mean it’s OK to go back.
@GEE –
That’s exactly what I was meaning/trying to say!
Thanks for stating it so easily and clearly.
So Layla by your analysis since Rihanna doesn’t respect herself she deserves an abusive relationship?
Maybe my family is crazy but if you even say something negative about me and they hear about it they HATE YOU FOR LIFE…Putting your hands on me, you may come up missing…No way in hell they would want me back with you, in fact they would kick my a$$ if they thought I was considering it.
This is soooooo damn fake, I hope Chris Brown stays the hell away from Rihanna. He is better away from her. I do love the way Chris Breezy is ignoring HATERS like some people
Exactly malia, screw his career. Nobody beats a person to a pulp mistakenly.
Sounds like they just want more fame in the family. They want to hop around and tell people Rihanna is their cousin and Chris Brown is their cousin-in-law. Maybe they’re also hoping for a little of Rihanna and Chris’ money to slide their way. Disgusting. I hate Rihanna’s lyrics and her performances, and I hate the way she behaved after she got the trash beat out of her (staying with him?? For real??) and I hate that she even associates with him, but the only person I hate more than Rihanna and her behavior is Chris Brown. It disgusts me to no end that he still has any fans at all, let alone female fans.
@Annie –
Absolutely not. Please read the clarification of my comment above. Gee(#7) said it the best. Thanks.
Rihanna’s cousins are idiots. Are they so jealous that they want her to get hurt again?
Maybe they think they’re in her will & hoping to inherit sooner than later.
@anonymous: Will you still love Breezy when he kills someone?
Wierd story but true.
Was shopping in Ontario early spring and ended up chatting with a gentleman from Barbados now working in the area. He not only claimed to have known Rhianna and her family pre-fame but had a) some detailed stories about Chris Brown in Barbodos being lucky he didn’t get his butt kicked for being a jerk down there and b) commented that CB might not get out of Barbados in one piece if he went there after beating up Rhianna. Don’t know the guy from Adam, but he came across as pretty legitimate as he was talking. (I’m one of these people that complete strangers will tell oddly personal information to. I’m (un)lucky that way.)
Regardless of who did what to who, these two are like oil and water, is my opinion. Sometimes 2 people are just not meant to be together.
Team Breezy is about to act a fool again I see…SMH at women supporting and defending an abuser and shunning the victim. I can’t stand when these women says “oh this girl was bad for Chris I hope he stays away from her” WTF? I hope SHE stays away from him because he is an unrepentant monster who’s only acting nice because he wants his career. I DARE team Breezy to stop supporting Chris and we’ll see how much of a “good boy” he is when he stop making money and treated like a star. And one last thing I hope that none of you women supporting CB have daughters because they would obviously not get your support should they find themselves in an abusive situation. Like Lainey says sometimes…I hate people. Ugh!
Lucy – That incident (HORRIBLE) was the first one we HEARD of. It probably wasn’t the first incident of abuse in the relationship, though.
Now, I need a minute…this article has my heartbeat racing & my BP elevated. (But I’ll probably be back.)
What the hell?!
Yeah they just “love him” so they want him back for themselves..they don’t give a crap about Rihanna..what wonderful cousins!
This story is so disgusting I don’t know what to think. I’m sure they will be in the news again blaming Rihanna for Chris beating her.
The sad thing is, I think she wants to get back with Chris too.
I think she is already hitting it on the downlow.
I didn’t read the article..just the title.
What shitty cousins she must have. Mine would have thrown Chris Brown a “blanket party” if he beat me.
If a man beat any one of my family members, that person would disgust me. I can guarantee you these “cousins” are looking for 15 minutes of fame with this story. If not, then they have a warped perception of what is appropriate in relationships.
The Original Bella is 100% correct. Those of us who are survivors of DV can tell you the abusers don’t start a relationship degrading and hitting. They are much more manipulative than that.
Oh okay, thanks!
As I have discussed before, I am a DV survivor along with OG Bella, ST6 and others who comment on this board. In NO WAY am I supporting “Breezy,” that violent repugnant POS, I just want to make that clear.
I am only saying that even in my own family, after I finally told people what happened (years and years after the ex and I had split), they expressed shock and disbelief because he was “so nice.” Yeah…”so nice” to everyone but me.
And in an even more disgusting turn of events, MY cousin (who went to HS with me ex) is friends with him on facebook and told me to my face that “he didn’t really do all that much wrong to you.”
Not to put too fine a point on it, but this is a guy that forcibly sodomized me (among many other things-choking, punching, kicking), and not just one time. Which I told her. Our relationship has never been the same since she said that to me.
I am only telling this story to reinforce the fact that sometimes, people are idiots and assholes, and there isn’t even anything you can do about it. Sad but true. Hopefully Rihanna doesn’t take theri advice…but who knows.
Isn’t he dating Tom Cruise?
A lot of people still think that domestic violence is the victim’s fault. And abusers can be very charming.
anon33 – Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Part of the insidious, sneaky nature of abuse is that socio/psychopaths can be v-e-r-y charming. It’s a way to draw you in and make you lower you defences. It’s also a very effective way of hiding their true nature from others.
What women (and men, and children even) need to understand is that a guy doesn’t just walk up to you and hit you. It starts as a “normal” relationship, and then devolves into psychological and emotional abuse.
Once you are properly isolated from friends and family (“No one loves you like I do. I’m the only one who loves you. Nobody else will want you.”) the physical abuse starts.
And then, where do you turn? Your every move/conversation is monitored/dissected. The absolute isolation is the worst part. Feeling like there’s no one to turn to, no way out, no one who is able to help.
THAT is the insidious nature of abuse.
LOSERS!!!! What kind of family member encourages someone to get back with an abuser?
Abusers are always charming – its their guilty conscious knowing they are trash so they go overboard to appear nice.
Everybody makes mistakes BUT not mistakes of the likes of Chris Brown. Thats like saying murderers and pedophiles are ok – they just made a mistake. Yeah one that RUINED someone elses life!
@A33, I am so sorry you encountered the classic sociopath/abuser. @Bella Luna-exactly as you have described it.
It hasn’t happened to me. I just see and talk to victims in the ER, police stations, at home, and most sadly, the morgue.
And for whatever reason, even a gorgeous, famous person will go back to some one who very well might kill her.
I am so sorry to hear about your abuse anon33. Makes me furious.
Rhianna’s relatives are misguided morons who are starstruck, and also wanted $$ for selling their idiot story to the lying tabloid Enquirer.
Dear Relatives: WISE UP, FFS! YOU’RE INCREDIBLY STUPID!
I think any man that makes a woman cry doesn’t deserve such a woman, and a loser is always a loser. If a man beat up my cousin i will make the man pay for it so i bet she wash her back.
Thanks for the kind words guys 🙂
And, exactly. He didn’t actually start with the physical portion of the abuse until we had been together a year and a half. That’s how they get you.
@malia – Chris did not kill anyone and is entitled to his career. As for Rihanna getting back with him, I say KEEP AWAY Chris for your own good .
Of course he was sweet. His charm is pure calculation to undermine Rihanna in the event that she was to ever divulge the fact that he was systematically destroying her sense of self.
Also, CB is clearly narcissistic, and he thrives on other people’s positive perception of him. When that perception is threatened (Rihanna busts him sexting his manager, Robin on GMA asks a question that may place him in an unfavorable light) he loses control and becomes violent.
Those cousins have no idea what they are talking about.
And Rihanna isn’t “bad” for Chris; Chris is bad for Chris, only he cannot accept (nor can his fans) the fact that he is the only person responsible for his violence with Rihanna.
There is no “fight” between a man and a woman (unless she is highly trained or very large). The sheer physical disparity between the two precludes such a characterization. If my 18 months old daughter hits me with all her might am I justified in hitting her back with all my might? No. Is she wrong? Absolutely. My drastically greater strength imbues in me a responsibility to use it prudently.
@Bella Luna: EXACTLY! We’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg! And this guy has shown time and again since that incident that HE IS NOT GENUINELY SORRY for what he did, just for the bad press he got.
@Anon33: How terrible! I’m sorry this happened! My sister is in an abusive relationship and won’t get out. I have to confess that it does affect my view of her, especially since she has four children by him and he’s been beating her for 13 years. Her excuse to stay with him is that it’s for “the kids and the money.” Further, she chose to be with him while he was with his ex (whom he eventually set on fire, which landed him in jail for a while!!) It’s been so hard for me to look at my sister with any kind of respect, especially when the children also get abused. We’ve called authorities and CPS time and again, but here in North Carolina, they’re f@*!ing morons here who get charmed by this a-hole every time.
@ Juliesunflower- Oh,you know Chris do you? That you are able to conclude that Rihanna is poison to him? Actually, there is no evidence for this. His stans are still in mighty number, his career didn’t stall, people are still lining up to work with him and he did zero time for beating his girlfriend to a pulp. So, actually Rihanna and his fists are both pretty good for Brand CB. You are going to have to try a little harder, dear.
@15 (Anon) You sound frighteningly stupid. I truly hope for your sake you’re a child/teen, so there is at least some hope that you will grow out of this foolishness.
On a side note, because CB comes across as such a twisted character and rather manic at times (look at his eyes). I can actually imagine him laughing at his fan’s blind adoration of him.
As someone noted he has the traits of a high level narcissist. Could totally seem have a good giggle at their expense.
When I read about some women continuing to defend Chris Brown, all I can think is they’re either in a similar situation and in denial about being abused, or they wrongly believe that in similar circumstances Chris wouldn’t have done that to them. It’s not being the bigger person by forgiving a mistake, it’s just blaming the victim. (Also, I think Chris believes his only mistake that night was hitting her to the point he couldn’t lie his way out of it. I’m with those who feel there’s no way that was the first time he hit her.)
Poor Rhianna, to be pressured by members of her own family, the people who should support her the most.
Dumb groupie ass relatives. They don’t really care about her at all do they.
@Anon33 Kudos for you to being able to open up about your situation. I went through something similar but I still can’t bring myself to talk about it. I’m still rather angry at myself for allowing it to happen. However, I can’t believe you had family that said that to you. Your cousin should be grateful that you even consider speaking to her at all. At the same time, I think for some people it’s hard to fathom the level of abuse and abusers do a really good job of putting on a mask and making people think they aren’t the POS that they truly are.
yeah, um, Im pretty sure she gave it as good as she got it!!
LeeLoo you did not allow it to happen. You must forgive yourself as soon as you can and view yourself with compassion. You didn’t say “hey, I’d like to be treated like shit and used as a punching bag/hooker for X number of years.”
You were identified and groomed by an expert manipulator, someone who has incredible skill to get what he wants no matter the cost to you. You didn’t lose, you were cheated ina game where you played by the rules and he did not.
We don’t know how to process “I love you. You’re a bitch.” and so we become confused, doubt ourselves (you still are) and try harder, because generally trying harder fixes things. Not with these assholes. Try harder and you’re feeding that desire for more…setting the bar a little higher for next time. ANd getting too exhausted to deal with it at all.
I’m very sorry. You never, ever deserved it, and you never allowed it. You left. Good show.
@Embee I know what you say to be true but it doesn’t make it any better. In many ways I have forgiven myself for it but I spent so long talking about it and I spent so much money and time undoing the damage that he inflicted on me that I have no energy for it. At the same as I look back on it at times and I wonder “How could I not have seen it?” When I think of something that he did or said. When I read articles like this, I just seethe with anger because it perpetuates this horrid cycle that women are nothing more than garbage and that this type of behavior is okay. For me though, being angry helps me do something about it rather than be frightened and timid about it. I’ve been doing a lot of work in my community raising domestic violence awareness. I’ve even helped create a pamphlet for high school girls about domestic violence.
I also got nothing but support from my family and friends. Their love and support was quintessential in my recovery. Without their love I would probably still be with him and who knows what would happen. I am in a HAPPY relationship now with someone who treats me as an equal and treats me with kindness and respect and I know I am exactly where I should be and I don’t doubt it for a second. I got out of that awful situation but it took a lot of heartache and working past a lot of trauma for me to get to where I am now.
Yeah who wouldn’t want to go back with a violent, abusive, talentless hack? He doesn’t write or produce his material, he spends what he makes and in a couple of years when no one cares about him and music has moved on from protools as an excuse for talent, he’ll be an impoverished, uneducated abusive violent man dumping his assets for a dime on the dollar. He’s a mental midget, maybe her cousins should date him if he’s such a great catch. I’ve always gotten the downlow vibe from this guy so maybe that’s not really an option for him anyway. He’s a pig.
Jesus Christ Irishserra, you just described my sister’s life exactly. Flipping scary. In my lil’ sis’s case he was with his wife, and my sister, he beats her, has for 15 years, (two kids) and he set the ex on fire. My stomach is just clenching right now.
@ADS – People wanted to stop him from working and they are still trying. Is he a paedophile? No. Did he beat up a child? No. Did he kill someone? No. Ben Roethlisberg a footballer beat up and raped three women on three different occasions without the media doing anything and he is playing for his club; yet people want to make Chris the poster boy for all domestic violence. I do not like double standards – one for one, one for all.
W. T. F. Dear God.
If a man ever beat me or my sister, a SWAT team would have to be called to pry the gun out of my father’s hands. And my mother would be passing him the ammo. The attitude that an abuser can be given a pass because he was “nice” to someone once utterly baffles me.
@BlackMamba and @Embee: ITA.
@Juliesunflower: The only thing Chris Brown is entitled to is a prison cell. At best. ETA: And this is my attitude towards anyone who commits rape or domestic violence. In my eyes, these are not forgivable offenses.
Dear Rihanna
ignore your jealous and foolish cousins and leave CB
@Lady D: Ugh! So so sorry to hear it! I want to beat my sister over the head every time she starts boasting about how happy she is with him and shove the pictures I have of her black eyes and swollen lips into her face and remind her of her reality! Two of her children have told us recently that he beat her when she tried to stop him from taking a belt to one of the kids. We’ve documented welts, bruises and cuts in the past and reported to authorities, but there’s too damn much of this “Good Ole Boy” club attitude down here. He seems to win over everyone who meets him and I just don’t get it.
I’ve read before and I even read again recently in an article about a woman being abused, that it boils down to pride and the unwillingness to admit that poor decisions have been made on the part of the one being abused. This is the rationale used to stay with the abuser, in addition to not wanting to face those who have been telling them all along that they are in danger and need to get out. I don’t know if this is true for all DV victims, but I do believe this attitude afflicts my sister.
Abuse is all about control. My ex-husband threatened to get physical with me once. I told him, you lay a hand on me and you’re going to be laying on a slab with a tag on your toe. I left him ages ago and never looked back.
irishserra – There is nothing you can do but love her and her children. My parents tried to help me, but he had me so perpetually terrified that when they sat me down and talked to me, I cried and whispered “He’ll kill you.” (They knew SOME of what was going on, but not all. Nobody but him, me and God knows ALL the truth.)
When/if (I’m sorry to add that “if”) your sister realises her kids are next in line to be abused, she might get her nerve up enough to leave him.
For me, it was him threatening to take my son away from me. Not in his usual “Car accidents happen all the time, and he’ll be fine because he’s in a carseat. I’ll just walk up, take him away, and leave you to die” way. The ACTUAL words “I WILL TAKE HIM FROM YOU.”
That did it. I told him he’d get him over my dead body (which was the only way, and we both knew it) and went to the Sheriff’s Dept right after I hung up. Then, off to court for the restraining order and into hiding I went.
LeeLoo – Nobody “allows” abuse to happen to them. It just happens. Like I said, it doesn’t start right off, out in the open, on a first date. It’s a process, an awful one. Good for you for getting out and being in a healthy relationship. One day, you will come to terms with reconciling what happened to you and that you are one of the lucky ones (like me & anon33 & Seal Team) who made it out alive. THAT’s the most important thing.
Nicole Brown’s family also wanted her to get back together with Simpson and were always on his side, not hers. She herself said that before he murdered her.
I hope Rihanna never it’s goes bad that loser. Her cousins should be ashamed of themsevles if the story is true. It’s a well know fact that a abuser shows one face to the public and other in private. It’s awful, but it happens alot. I was a in abused relationship as a teenager.My own mother told me “stay with the devil you know, it’s better than one you don’t know.” or “what did you do to upset him?”. He’s a man,they can’t control themselves. The message I got growing up was no matter how bad a man treats you have to stay, even if he kills you in the end.
@Juliesunflower
The media did a lot to bring the stories about Ben to light. The problem was law enforcement had no evidence but his career has suffered plenty and there are still people who feel he should be kicked out of the NFL. I have no doubt that if he does it again he WILL be kicked out of the NFL. As is, Roethlsberger is on thin ice and has no endorsement deals because no one wants his to sell their products. Since being on thin ice with the NFL he hasn’t screwed up once. While I think there is a special place in hell for a person like Ben, I will admit he’s not stupid enough to screw up his final chance. He’s been a good boy even though anyone with a brain knows he is guilty of what those women accused him of even if not in a court of law. He has his last chance and I doubt he’ll blow it.
CB on the other hand since his DV conviction has gone one SEVERAL homophobic rants, trashed his dressing room at GMA, and has caused nothing but problems in his condominium complex in LA. He’s violent and it is pretty apparent he’s only “remorseful” because he got caught. He’s had his last chance, blown it, then he’s given ANOTHER last chance, blown it and then demands another.
@Original Bellaluna I do feel lucky already. 🙂 For the most part, I am grateful for everyday I’m alive and healthy. That relationship took a toll on me. Last time I visited my mother she told me that when I was with my ex I always looked sick and tired. Now she says I look healthy and happy. I feel extremely lucky I made it through to see myself in a happier place in life.
What a bunch of trash people.
Rihanna looked soooo good back in the day. Don’t think she is looking to go back she is smart enough to keep her career on track.
I don’t know if this was said about Chris or not, but I think it’s deplorable that he would do to a woman what his stepdad did to his mother. He could have broken the cycle, but instead he continued it.
Chris grew up around violence, that DOESN’T excuse what he did. Word on the street is that Rhianna also has an abusive streak, and that she hit him when she caught him sexting…STILL DOESN’T excuse him for what he did.
If he was truly remorseful about his actions (any maybe he will be 20 years from now, who knows?). I would probably give him a chance as a person (his music does nothing for me). But he’s been anything but, and his mother is an ENABLER. Chris is an ADULT, a lot of the scorn, post Rhianna, he brought on himself.
Rhianna’s cousins should be ashamed, but sadly, some family members have that attitude, famous guy or not.
Believe it or not, there is a very large portion of the population–under educated and usually poor who are raised in an environment where this type of behavior is excused and even expected. I didn’t even realize I was one of them until I found myself repeatedly surprised at my husband for NOT reacting to situations in an abusive manner.
I have known nothing but abuse in my life, from a father that nearly killed me at 3 years old,a mother that beat me until she threw me head first into a wood door for spilling water on the floor was 12 years old and teaching me to a victim. To never stand up for myself,that I was worthless person because I didn’t go the store fast enough, but isn’t that upset to ask why does her boyfriend always have to use the bathroom while her young daugther is taking a shower?
My boyfriends would tell always how fat,dumb and ugly I was. How I wasn’t living my life “right”(meaning I didn’t hand over my paycheck to them). These sucka’s stood in my livingroom without a pot in piss in. I worked two jobs, went to college, paid the bills. I’m still a worthless person. I wanted to die because I though maybe in death I’ll get some peace& quiet and be free of suffering. The thing is my mother would let my boyfriends abuse me. I was told to anything to keep him. Finally I when broke free with help from a great therapist. I began to get stronger, got rid of the boyfreinds and learned that I am a good person. My mother hated me even more.
I’m very sad that at my mother’s funeral that people walked up to me, hugged me and said “you’re free now,go live your life.
I this is a very long story, but I hope that Rihanna never goes back. Also, what to say to everyone who’s in an abusive situation. There is light on the other end. If you are weak, you can be strong too. The hardest step is to leave but people are waiting for you and they will help you. I made it and you can too.
irishserra, if you don’t mind me asking, what county are they in? depending, i may be able to offer some resources to help your sister out, and if not her at least her poor children. There’s only one county in NC I’m really familiar with regarding these types of situations, but if there’s a chance I can help I’d love to.
My heart is aching from the stories of abuse here. I have mine too. Chris Brown is an abusive moron who tries to charm his way out of taking responsibility for his deplorable actions. He did what he did. He has not shown remorse nor understanding of what he has done. For that I will never conceed him an inch. I don’t give a shit who he is, that he’s famous and wants his career back. Boo hoo arsehole.
To those defending Chris, it’s not just the Rihanna incident (horrible as that was), he sounds like he has serious anger management issues. Remember when he went crazy in the studio with Robin Roberts? We keep seeing articles about how all his neighbors hate him too. He is just an utter ass in all aspects of his life.
@ Dawn, OMG, I want to hug you. I have tears in my eyes after reading your post. Life is so cruel sometimes, but I am happy you ARE HAPPY now. God bless you. xox
((((( Dawn )))))
I’d pin a medal on you if I could; since I can’t, please accept a hug.
@Dawn-Aww your post made me tear up. I am so happy that you managed to turn your life around. I hope one day you will have your own little family fulled with tender love and care.Hugs!
@Vilodemenus, I also have heard the rumours about him being DL. He’s also had a few homophobic rants at people. Remember the Raz B twitter fight? Those with something to hide often take it there when angry. With regards to him being closeted I heard that this BF/lover was/ is songwriter Andre Merritt(co wrote for Rihanna and Cheryl Cole). Once again, just rumours. Have to say I wouldn’t be surprised. Whether he is straight, bi or total homosexual he is one serious nutcase and whoever has the misfortune to be in relationship with him needs their head examined.
Robin Roberts in the GMA interview, baited Chris and he did not break any window – he walked out as other celebs have done e.g Marc Anthony etc. Chris is trying to move on with his life; he certainly does not need people like Rihanna’s cousins stirring up controversies for him regarding getting back with Rihanna . Some people are like oil and water; they cannot mix. Right now in Britain, a contestant who won £1 million pounds is being tormented to hand the money back because he went to jail for fighting with his girlfriend some years ago. When it was initially thought it was a man he had fought with, nobody asked him to give the money he had won fair and square back! Since he fought with a woman he must not take part in society again and earn a living legitimately. To all who are in abusive relationships, WALK AWAY. Chris is walking away and Rihanna’s cousin should allow her to do so too!
Rihanna and her family sound really dysfunctional. Like abuse was and is still common in the Fenty household.
@dawn you are obviously smart, strong, and incredibly resilient. I hope you find lots of love and happiness in your life!
Utterly ridiculous! What planet are her so called cousins from!
I don’t doubt that he was extremely “nice” and charming. While we’re at it, very good looking and a sparkling personality. I’m sure he lit up the room as he walked in, the most popular guy there, made everyone feel special. Why else would Rihanna let him beat the sh-t out of her? These people obviously aren’t very bright.
@ 74 Your delusion is worrying. Robin did not bait Chris. She asked him a simple question and about a subject he knows very well.. Rihanna. Instead of being a man, he reacted like the maniac he is and the rest is history. He made a simple TV interview a train wreck. Wreaked havoc in the studios and smashed a window. ABC confirmed what he did but said they would not press charges. You should perhaps learn to read facts before you comment.
With regards to Nathan Hageman, Red and black winner. When two men fight it is seen as, strength wise as a fight between equals. A woman, unless she is a trained in a particular way is NEVER going to match a man’s physical strength,generally speaking. This is common sense. Nathan and the Red and Black PR tried to spin a sob story on his issues with the law. However, his ex girlfriend tells a very different story. She says he broke into her property at two in the morning and attacked her. Thus, not an altercation but a calculated brutal attack.
Here’s the link.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2011/09/07/red-or-black-winner-nathan-hageman-left-ex-girlfriend-fearing-for-life-during-attack-115875-23401617/
You seem to enjoy defending men with a history of beating women. I don’t know if there is something deeper to your need to do this or that you are just plain stupid. But there are many that share your opinions, that the men are blameless and it is the woman’s fault. It is why violence against women is not looked upon as seriously as hate crime.
@Dawn: May all good things come to you from here on in. I respect you so much. You are a valuable person and a teacher. Thank you.
Honestly I think this is bullshit and if anybody believes that here than people are more stupid than I thought! ENQUIRER everyone, ENQUIRER!
The fact that people still support him and are all “Don’t listen to the haters, Chris! Do your thang!” Is amazing.
What can they be thinking? It’s not like she needs him? She has her own house, money, etc? I think sometimes they go back (partly) because they have no place to go.
I know a little bit about being in an abusive relationship, but I have never endured anything like you guys here who are brave enough to open up about it. Thank you. I hope all of you are in a happy place now or at least will be one day.
There is no excuse for hurting other people deliberatley. There just is none. There is no reason whatsoever not to treat your fellow human being with a minimum of respect.
So, to all of you who got out: Kudos to you, and may God bless you. I’m even more impressed with how ready you are to help others in the same situation.
http://outlandishnews.com/2011/09/07/chris-brown-car-surfing-video/
Does this look like a mature individual? I didn’t think so.
gives a high 5 to the woman that made it out, and some courage to those trying to.
What a load of BS. Hopefully these cousins are the sort of family that don’t actually know her that well apart from the odd family get together and are only talking just to get themselves some attention.
Yeah i’m sure he was really nice to them, abusers are notoriously charming out-of-doors. Urgh, their comment make me feel sick.
It’s obvious that her cousins envy her success and wish Rihanna would go back to Chris to get another beating.
It really sucks that Chris Brown does not care about what you guys think. The best part about this that he is ignoring the Haters. Why is it anybody’s problem if people person Mr Breezy why is it anyone of your damn problem and why do you feel like the right to judge Team Breezy just because they support Chris Brown. Think about your own day life and situations
Rihanna won a Grammy?
@Dawn, peace and blessings to you, and to all who are suffering/have suffered. Be the light.
@ anonymoose, That was one of my thoughts after reading this, too! I wikipedia-ed and it seems she has won 4. That says a lot about the state of music these days.
Also, to all the “Team Breezy” folk, I’ll never get you and how you can be so deplorable… ALL for someone so mediocre. I mean, seriously, Chris Brown? Spewing amoral BS to defend Chris…Brown? Look at your life, look at your choices. You know there are much more talented musicians to get behind, right?
@Anonymous #88: Mr. Breezy is a thug who should be wearing an orange jumpsuit.
I wonder if you would be so quick to defend him if your boyfriend was using you for a punching bag.
I don’t care how rich or how famous or how talented he is, any man who beats up on a woman is a cowardly POS.
Post #88 mocks itself, thereby sparing me the trouble. Well done, Anonymous! [slow clap]
Or, instead of “Anonymous,” perhaps I should say “Chris Brown’s paid lackey.”
Listen, those two would never stay together for long in the business they are in…too much craziness and too much temptation. It would never work anyway. I don’t know if R would work with anyone, for long. She has her issues, too. They’re all so young and restless right now, so I don’t see the maturity here to have a long term relationship for any of them, at least not right now.
LOL….. Rih is so not interested in this rumour, nor is she buying it!!!! #Fail
Thanks for the all the love. You guys are my light.
Does anyone here knows about a Chris Brown song called “She Ain’t You”? He sings about how much he wants a certain girl back into his life, wishing that he was with old girl instead of the one he has now. It’s Chris at his charming R&B best, but like with most abusers, It’s please-come-back-me crap.I’m so sweet;I love you and I need you. Don’t the beileve the hype.
What’s so sick about that the back-up singer’s voice is nearly a twin to Rihanna own voice!
ANYBODY who instigate violence against anyone whether a man or a woman are in the wrong. Anyone who is in an abusive relationship that is detrimental to their well being especially where they have children MUST leave ! So Chris should not be tempted to get back with Rihanna at any level. Chris is NOT a piece of POS.
Oops! meant to write: Chris is NOT a POS. Love to all those who got away from violence and abuse.
Great respect for the women here, who walked away for abusers.
rihanna’s cousins and these team breezy girls are idiots but this sort of attitude isn’t really a surprise. i watched a family member live through a horrible abusive relationship that culminated in him viciously beating and raping her. despite her obvious injuries, people tried to blame her, to make excuses for him. women were the worst for it. even some of her friends wanted to know how she’d provoked him. how do you provoke someone to beat you unconscious?
reading the replies here, i’m so horrified for what’s happened to some of you. and so proud of you for being strong enough to get out.
I feel all people writing against Rihanna and Chris Brown `s reunion have a big problem and they don`t know what forgiveness means. I only have two simple questions. (1) Who gave you the right to judge other? (2) What makes you think if Chris got back with Rihanna he will hit her again? Remember that we are all human beings bound to make mistakes besides you all don`t know what transpired between them. If Rihanna forgave Chris who are you intervene in private affairs? I also feel some people are jealous of Chris. I`am happy both Chris and Rihanna are doing very well for themselves. I also know that if they `re destined together, no matter what people say they will be back together.
Chris Brown is a turd.
@Goster. Wow, delusional much?
And saying people are jealous of Chris Brown is just plain nonsense. The same people who critize him have no problems praising other celebrities who do far better careerwise, but don’t do things like, say, BEATING a woman.
Dawn, you are my hero. Thank you for sharing your incredibly inspiring story.
Juliesunflower: Chris is NOT a piece of POS.
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Any many who beats up on a woman for any reason is a POS. Chris Brown (man) beat up on Rihanna (woman). Therefore Chris Brown is a POS. Case closed.
I feel that Rh’s family knows her better than anyone else does. I think that it was a fight and from reading the media it hasn’t been the first. It just so happened that there were actually photos involved in this one.
Bravo to all of you who have shared your stories about walking away from your abusive relationships. You have all of my respect.
Rihanna’s cousins are idiots if this story is true. The last thing my loved ones would want would be for me to go back to someone who beat my face in. I don’t care how nice he once seemed. Chris Brown’s violent attack on Rihanna and subsequent behavior are inexcusable and anyone making excuses for him should get their heads checked. You’re just as crazy as he is.
Edit: And yes he is a POS.
@Juliesunflower
Women in dv situations can’t just leave. ESPECIALLY if children are involved. You must be very naive to think that.
More often than not these men threaten to kill the women or the children if the mother makes any attempt to leave. So many women HAVE DIED for leaving. There was a case not too far away from where I live where a man burnt down his ex-wife’s house with his ex-wife , her new husband and his 2 kids in it because the wife remarried and the stepfather adopted the two kids that she had with the ex because he was so violent. Most of these women stay out of fear and because they have been manipulated over the years to the point of feeling like garbage. Even if they do leave they still have to live in fear that he will find them and make good on his threats. These women without proper channels and resources cannot just leave like you say.
quick recap, CB beat Rihanna so bad it would be assault causing boldily harm up here, aggravated assault if she was wounded or disfigured. CB showed ZERO remorse, minimized and deflected blame, showed borderline psychopathic “jekyl and hyde” personality switches, control issues, intolerance to others, and a person suffers over 30 separate incidents of domestic abuse before the police are even called much less charges laid and convictions made.
Im saddened when i cant convice women and the occasional man to escape an abusive partner. From withholding money to isolation from friends and family, subtle emotional abuse to outright assaults, sweetheart, ive BEEN there, twice my gf size and afraid to defend myself. Later my wife left when i confronted her wih her relationship terrorist tactics. Rihanna has grown as a person and took the high road by forgiving but not forgetting. My wife grew up and understands im holding her at arms length to protect myself. As for the tow of three fools who are actually defending CB, so be it, buy his records, i will not. Feel sorry for him, i will not. Blame Rihanna for his problems, i will not. And when you ask me to not interfere when your boyfriend abuses you, to look the other way when your father abuses you, to keep out noses out of family affairs when your grandsparents are abused, think of what the women in your life felt when Rihanna’s face was plastered onto the news and thank whatever you belief in when i tell you NO MORE!!I WILL NOT!!!
People are so funny. Some of you all are commenting and don’t even know the story of Chris and Rhi. They where smart kids that made a stupid mistake…as kids. I’m certain the truth is not the extra general information the media made you believe. I’m sure they have grown and can handle situations better. You never know how to handle a situation until you are shown how to handle a situation.
@MichaelAngelo, they were NOT kids when this happened! CB was 20 and Rihanna 21-old enough to vote in the US. If you can vote, you bloody well better know that beating up your partner is a fucking low, cowardly thing to do.
“You never know how to handle a situation until you are shown how to handle a situation.”
That sentence makes absolutely no sense in this context. I’ve never had to beat up a partner to realise that it’s wrong.
Do you know what the best thing is about having sisters who are twins? You can scam A LOT of free cake off of people and establishments when their birthday comes around. September 2012 can’t come soon enough. I think I’ll explore parkour, see what that opens up for me.
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Leave town for a weekend, look at the powerful/nauseating/life-affirming/sadly expected/heartbreaking/inspiring thread that popped up.
To the ones who made it to the other side, really, I just can’t even say…but to give an impression I do say that the tears and the hayfever have co-mingled into an amorphous, mucously blob ragweed, heightened emotion and variously subway expulsions.
You’re very brave. And strong. And special. I didn’t cry when my four-year-old niece embraced me goodbye this afternoon by first giving me a hug, then kissing the palm of her hand and boxing me across the cheek to try ‘something new’, and I didn’t cry when my five-year-old nephew followed in kind but I cried here. Thank-you for sharing all of those stories, I’m sure that with the pride of being able to relate your stories of what it took to be able to re-govern your lives, it must have hurt the heart to revisit those experiences for our benefit here. I’m really grateful that you did this for us, and that you’re doing well and are happy in equal measure with what you deserve. Thank-you.
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To the Chris Brown supporters, the thing that is really difficult for me to reason out is how forgiveness is, or as your comments suggest, should be dispensed. If we start with the idea, ‘Chris Brown should be forgiven, he who is without sin’, and so forth how is that reconciled with the deep dislike or seeming lack of respect for female victims of abuse? You suggest provocation, fair enough–but the response wasn’t proportionate to that provocation, was it? You can’t burn someone’s house down for cutting you off. My sisters are both half a foot taller than me–why should I conduct myself as if that’s a communicable disease? Should I hide in drawers and forbid myself the light of day? Because at some point, I’m going to disagree with someone who is taller than me so must I learn my ‘place’? Should I never say anything or express myself in any way because I should have known that taller people throw smaller people off of the Niagara Falls, and if I didn’t know this it’s my own fault for not knowing how to contort myself and conform myself in a way that didn’t badger and incur his wrath? Supplicant-enforcer is no romance. Since sympathy for her is kind of off the table, if the roles were reversed, would people implore that Chris Brown needs to be forgiven for not dodging Rihanna’s blows? Or, if he were no bigger than a house cat physical strength would be a moot point because cats and humans are both mammals, so there’s no problem? What is it about her that is so repulsive that her being savaged warrants applause and increased devotion for him? She didn’t punch herself, so why has the aggressor become the noble victim of a hospital bed’s evil machinations?
Actually Chris Brown was 19 and Rihanna was 20, they were indeed VERY young and made some very stupid mistakes. DV is not just black and white, it’s not simple and I don’t really care what anyone says but NO DV case is exactly the same. You can not live your relationship through Chris Brown and Rihanna’s because it’s not the same. Chris Brown himself saw his mother repeatedly get abused, you think he didn’t know about DV before hand? I believe in trying to break the cycle and clearly he is trapped in one.
As someone who witnessed domestic violence I can firmly assure you I am not a supporter of such but it peeks my curiosity that her family would want them back together. Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe things didn’t happen as it seems to so many? This isn’t to support a toxic relationship but her family is actually VERY protective of her … so it makes me wonder, Do we really know what happened?
I like the comments of “justbrowsing”. I am not whatsoever trying to downplay Chris Brown’s actions in the physical altercation between himself and Rihanna – but she wasn’t “horrifically beat to shit” or however else people are describing the incident. Yes, she sustained injuries; yes, he was in the wrong; yes, domestic violence is wrong in any definition of the word. No one should have to experience it or have the right to inflict it.
(I also believe Miss Rihanna wasn’t totally innocent in all of this. Sometimes people forget that abuse isn’t just physical, there can be verbal, emotional and mental abuse also; you just can’t see those wounds.)
If Chris did indeed grow up witnessing domestic violence, it was likely he was going to repeat the cycle. Fortunately the results of his actions were “caught on camera” and he has been given a chance to work off his penalty, rehabilitate, be counseled and break the cycle. Does he not deserve that chance AND the chance to redeem himself? Yes. He has a way to go – he’s still a bit of a hot head – but I believe he will mature and get a handle on the way he expresses himself.
Should they get back together? Truthfully, it is completely up to them. Does love still exist between them, dysfunctional or not? I believe there likely is still a bond of sorts. All I can say is that I would completely understand if they did, I would not berate them for the decision and could only wish them better things and wiser choices the second time around. Personally I think they’ve done quite well for themselves away from each other – both are incredibly talented – who knows how it would have played out had they stayed together?
Regarding the comments in 114 and 115 (and other CB apologists), this is what I read:
“Blah blah blah
Rihanna/Robin had it coming
Bleep bloop blurp
Poor Chris Brown!”
And maybe something about golf.
Pathetic.
Your comments are so steeped in delusion that they don’t bear discussion. I’m out.
her cousins must hate her.
I’m with the few people here who suggest the situation was/is not as simple as most of you make it. And it is up to her and him what feels right to them now. We don’t know details. ChrisBrown has the decency to keep the details private – not talking of the ‘why’ he snapped, how she started it. We only know rumors of previous abuse. There have not even been rumors of him being abusive to women in the past 2 years. She says she wants to put in the past. We all should. Move on.
Triflin’. Just triflin’.
Right, here’s the thing. They’re meant to support Rihanna not drive her straight back into the problem that caused her to feel terrible for a long while from the media. Thoughtless honestly!
Worst article i have read today.. yes you may say they’re ”young” but not really because i’m younger myself and i know that i should NEVER lay my hands on a women like that. You know the difference from right and wrong in primary. GET A LIFE STOP SAYING IT WAS BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUNG!
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