Britney Spears set for a Halloween comeback

Britney Spears must have read our fantasy celebrity futures wish list, because she’s hired a team of nannies, nutritionists, and trainers, and is working out furiously to drop the baby weight in time for K-Fed’s Halloween CD release party:

In other news, TMZ is reporting Britney Spears plans to drown Kevin’s little star. Britney Spears has targeted her husband Kevin’s album release party at the end of this month to make her return as the svelte, sexy young starlet we once knew — and a source close to the family tells TMZ that she’s enlisted a small army of nannies, trainers, and nutritionists to put her through her paces to make sure she’s looking her best.

According to the source, Brit has hired a nanny for each of her sons, and is constantly in the gym “for hours at a time,” working out feverishly to shed all the extra poundage she put on while having two babies in 13 months — and indulging her penchant for Taco Bell gleefully and often along the way. “She really wants to make a huge splash at Kevin’s release party,” says our source, “and she totally wants to outshine Kevin and announce to the world that she’s back.”

Let me put in another unpaid plug for Best Shape of Your Life, because you can drop weight quickly in less than three hours total a week – including cardio – at the gym. It’s all about eating right and lifting heavy weights to shape your body quickly.

Britney would work out for hours on end, though. She doesn’t seem to quite get the concept that you need to cut calories too and that mocha frappuccinos are fattening. Let’s hope that she’s hired good people and that she’s not sabotaging her efforts by trying to do too much too soon. There was a rumor that she had a tummy tuck after SPF2’s (?) birth, and that could have been true.

When Halloween rolls around we’re set to find out if Britney had a boy or a girl, what the infant’s name is, and how fast Britney can lose weight. K-Fed’s album will undoubtedly be ignored at his CD release party as everyone talks about his wife and latest spawn, and that’s sure to piss him off.

The fake People covers featuring Britney were found on

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8 Responses to “Britney Spears set for a Halloween comeback”

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  1. Kelley says:

    I hope she gets smart and re-claims her spotlight. Kevin really thinks he is something special, but so far from what I have seen, he does not have the juice. Come on Brit…..get it going girl and kick Kfed-up to the curb.

  2. ertarox says:

    She needs to announce that she’s leaving him at that party for christ’s sakes!! Only THEN will people begin to think she’s got a clue.

  3. lelo says:

    she must be taking that drug that all the stars are taking to get really skinny. She had 40lbs to drop, you don’t do that in 2 months.

  4. lelo says:

    She’s dumb, she comes off w/ the IQ of a pencil every time she’s interviewed. SHe and Kevin are Dumb and Dumber. Trash and trashier.

  5. Clarice says:

    Saw recent pictures of her. It looks like the lipo she got after Federline #2 did wonders for her. I’m just wondering why everyone put Kevin down (he’s not my favorite person by the way). She picked up. That says more about her than him. Heck she even proposed to HIM. She pursued him and bought him so she gets what she deserves

  6. Quickies…

    + Is that a tooth necklace? [Bastardly]
    + Patricia Arguette’s boobs in a fight with her dress [CityRag]
    + Britney wants to lose weight for Halloween [Cele|bitchy]
    + TV’s Top 5 Moments every day! [AOL Television]
    + “Robin Williams i…

  7. Alexi says:

    Ok can someone rip while they rip off the pounds the damn pack of gum she is always snapping out of her mouth? KFED was the biggest mistake for her – personally and professionally. They make trailer park look upscale.

  8. justthefacts says:

    I had a child, and yes I am married before all you people out there call my child a bastard. I was twenty two years old and lost the weight in no time at all. I had been very busy and active previous and during the pregnancy and I think that was the reason. She is young had been in great shape previously, and I don’t see what the big deal is. Secondly I agree K-Fed is a loser she could have done much better. All you women out there who ended up with such a man, even if they appeared more in the norm than K-Fed and ended up with a loser know this can happen. We fight and fight a losing war, part because of our self respect thinking we were fools, the other because of our child. She is unfortunate to be growing up in the public eye. I hope she sees the light and bails. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every step we made when so very young worked out for the better. Most often not.