I somehow missed last week’s Star Magazine cover story, and I apologize for that, because it is HILARIOUS. It’s all about “Celebrity Stylists Tell All” and those stylists – all totally anonymous, of course – are massive bitches. They want to take everybody down, but I just wanted to excerpt my favorite pieces:
Kristen Stewart: “She has grubby nails, ratty sneakers and a bad attitude. Very few people want to work with her because she doesn’t want to look good.” (via The Mail)
Angelina Jolie: Despite a buxom bustline, Angelina is flat in the back. “She wears butt pads to give her skinny figure some curves, but they show if she wears silk,” says an insider. “Some companies don’t even lend her clothes for events anymore.”
Brad Pitt: “His nickname on the set of Troy was ‘Arm Pitt,’ he stank so bad,” says a source, who also reveals that Brad’s “messy” new look is the result of hours of styling.
Whitney Houston: The 48-year-old diva “must wear a bra at all times,” according to a source. “It’s because her breast implants are like two pencil erasers that point in two different directions.”
Robert Pattinson: He “has fungus feet!” says an insider. “His toenails are all curled up and yellow.”
Jeremy Piven: The five-foot-nine star wears three-inch lifts! “He can normally hide them, but everyone noticed them when he had to take his shoes off at the Soho Beach House spa in Miami Beach,” says a source.
Lindsay Lohan: A stylist tells Star, “It’s a running joke between us that if it isn’t nailed down, she will take it. I’ve seen her take everything from hair products to fur coats.”
Jennifer Aniston: Aniston is all about the hair! “She throws a fit when she thinks certain people mess up her hair,” a stylist tells Star. To make matters worse, Aniston refuses to blow-dry her own hair, says the source. “It’s bizarre and obsessive. She’ll call her hairstylist at all hours just to blow it.” And she recently demanded a cut at 4 a.m.! Adds the source, “It was like a midlife crisis at four in the morning.”
The rest are either budget celebrities that no one cares about, or celebrities that just have deodorant and/or shapewear issues, which… seems pretty normal, I think. Now I can’t stop thinking about Angelina Jolie’s ass of lies (NOOO!) and Robert Pattinson’s sparkly fungus feet and The Piv’s three-inch high heels. Thank you, bitchy, anonymous stylists. This was a good one.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
LMFAOROTF!!!!
I would buy this issue just for the laughs 😀
Although the Lindsay Lohan “tell all” is a given
I can identify all of the stars on the cover except the guy with the caption ‘bad breath’. Can anyone identify him? Thanks!
Yeah I’m curious who he is too
He plays Ricky on that show “Secret Life of the American Teenager.” The show is awful. I hate that I know who that is :-/
ha ha brilliant – RPatz, sparkly, twinkly ethereal vampire beauty to teen girls everywhere…with disgusting hobbit feet!!
I like KStew, don’t care what anyone says – the article in the Mail made me like her more
can’t act mind you but you can’t have everything
That fake stylist doesn’t know that we have a lot of pictures of Rob’s bare feet and can tell that it’s a lie. He takes off his shoes at the airport where we see he has really nice, clean feet. Star mag needs to get a life.
Kristen could never dress the way she does without a stylist so wrong on that as well.
You confuse this with a fansite. Both look dirty and coked out.
I just wanted to clarify that the Twilight ’emma’ is not me.
As we didn’t already know that the cracken gives herself a 10 finger discount – always and everywhere!
I found this on another site >”Sam Ronson cements her status among Hollywood’s young movers and shakers after her house got broken into.”
Immediately i thought, Nah, it was just Lindsay.
LOL at Angie’s padded butt. It must take a man with nerves of steel to see her completely naked and bereft of any makeup and studio lighting. *shudder* *faint*
We all saw Angie’s butt in “Wanted” when she stood up naked in the hot tub and walked away from the camera. Why would she need ass padding? Her ass is perfectly fine (pun intended) just the way it is.
That was a body double. You could tell by the tattooes. AJ has completly different tats on her back.
Eww square jaw and Jen’s makeup is not properly blended in. These are the so called “most beautiful women” in the world. *barf*
Jen looks like she has a hairy chest in this pic. Just saying.
Ahhhh. THIS is the kind of celeb dirt I crave!
Jennifer Aniston’s hair thing is legendary. “Arm Pitt” is the best thing ever. I love stylists. They are the eyes and ears of showbusiness…and they usually only spill the goods on people who richly deserve a little public humiliation.
Is there no inside dirt on Tom Cruise? Except for wearing lifts. The man is absolutely gorgeous.
The stylists did want to get killed for telling some inside dirt on Tom Cruise.
That is so funny (but true)!
If that was true..bloggers, who write nasty things about him and his fam would be off by now.
That can’t be J Lo’s leg! She’s always in short dresses and they always look great. I don’t think there’s any way she could hide cellulite like that
Also, when I was almost as thin as Angie, my ass was flat too. Then I started lifting and doing lots of squats and my ass is now round. If she put on some muscle mass it would really improve upon what she already has.
If K Stewart and R Pattinson are both dirty, then it sounds like they’re a well matched pair!
And Blohan? That’s a given. Her closet is probably full of “borrowed” items. She swears she’s going to give them back guys, okay?
@ MorticiansDoItDeader —
You are absolutely right about strength training.
I have a similar body type to AJ with long thin arms & legs, similar height, thin frame/small bones, chronically underweight with bigger boobs, and absolutely no ass. I started working out with weights and doing squats & lunges and now I have an ass. Hell, now I have a nice ass that gets compliments. Ladies, if you think there is no hope for a flat ass start doing squats & lunges with some hand weights stat!
@be relaxed, I spent my 20s doing all cardio and discovered the secret to a great ass just recently at 31! Better late than never.
Doesn’t anybody remember seeing Angie’s ass in “Wanted?” Was it flat or ‘missing’ then?
Who’s Serena with the bald spot?
Williams. Think tennis.
As for Angie, she got naked in ‘Wanted’. She may wear padding but her own behind is nice and pert.
Was that HER ass? I know lots of actresses use a butt double. Mila Kunis admitted she used one in “Friends with Benefits.” I’m guessing not everyone owns up to using one. She looked great nude in Gia precisely because she wasn’t perfect.
Same with Pamela Anderson. Weave is bad for you. Only people seem to wear it without damage is the Kardashian. They wear enough weave for you and me
serena Williams.
Bold patches are the harzard of weaves. Blood diamond Noami is practically bald under her weave.
typo….meant bald not BOLD
Same with Pamela Anderson. Weave is bad for you. Only people seem to wear it with damage is the Kardashian. They wear enough weave for you and me
Weaves should come with warnings that eventually they will pull your hair all out. I’d never get one. A woman in my office has to wear wigs all the time now because her weave pulled all her hair out around her hairline, and now her hairline starts way back on the top of her head.
Those women’s weaves were probably braided /threaded too tight. If done properly weaves can help your hair grow. Sew-in weaves that is. Bonded/quick weaves will tear your hair out quick!
@Py: How does a sewn-in weave help your hair grow?
We all know that just from seeing the photos. I don’t need a tabloid to tell me that Stewart is a major bitch with a chip on her shoulder or that Pitt stinks.
Yeah, no surprises here.
Every male cast member on the set of Troy must have reeked for weeks. They could probably smell that site ten miles downwind. Wear heavy body armor for 15 hours a day in the heat and you’d be pretty ripe too.
Cheyenne – deodorant does help. If that were the case they would have said something about Eric Bana or Orlando Bloom but they singled out Pitt for a reason.
Agree. Absolutely no suprises here. Brad has been known to be smelly for years. Shock horror we all know Lilo steals. Kristen has always been sloppy and grubby.
i think i read (maybe here?) that Aniston bragged about knowing how to give herself the best blow-outs? Me thinks she said she is great with a blow-dryer? she seems like a headache….
Aniston bragged about knowing how to give herself the best blow-outs?
————————
I read that as “knowing how to give herself the best blow-job”.
I did too! I almost choked on my pomegranate juice from the laughing^.^
I’m glad I’m not the only one who read it that way!
So who’s styling Brad Pitt’s “cultivated messy look”? Some hobo living under a bridge? I swear if you look hard enough, you can see the wavy stink lines coming off him. His kids are going to grow up thinking it’s O.K. to smell like a sewer.
“wavy stink lines….” —-> I’m crying from laughing.
I love all that dirt from insiders. I believe them becouse they don’t care and don’t have to always kiss celebs ass.
I believe all of these,including the Aniston which seems pretty redick. You can tell K Stew does not like to dress up. I have seen some of her red carpet interviews lately and she seems to always have some new injury that “forces” her to wear her nasty Chuck Taylors with her gowns.
The only girl who can pull off chucks and a gown is Hailee Steinfeld at the Oscars.
A-ha–these are so funny. I bet they’re some truth to these…
When Pitt did Troy, he admitted he was a big, old pot-head–he probably stank like a number of things not just bo.
Angie’s red dress does look padded in the butt area. Sorry, you ain’t gonna be curvy with padding–just give it up.
K-Stew–she contradicts herself. She wears the latest cool outfit, but also does the “I’m not really trying too hard to be fashionable” thing. I bet dealing with her can be a headache since she wants it both ways.
Wow, that Aniston photo–her jaw is white, while the rest of her is spray-tanned? It’s no secret she’s about the hair–she spent $50,000 to have her stylist fix it for a week overseas. Hair must be high on her list of priorities–it certainly isn’t acting. 😉
I think the ‘white’ is her make up. Her whole face would be that color (see the same ‘white’ beneath her eyes) if it wasn’t for the pink blush on her cheeks and (for some strange reason) her forehead.
Most of these sound like lies and some like the Rob’s feet and Kristen stylist stories are easily disproven.
Why are you so sore on them? Let it go.
The Twilight ’emma’ is not me.
Sparkly fungus feet – that’s some funny sh*t! LOL
I noticed Aniston’s white jaw too. I just don’t get that – these people have the “best” makeup artists working on them, and THIS is the result? I think it’s that “hi-def” powder – I tried that Make Up For Ever stuff and didn’t like it for that reason. Other stars have had a similar encounter with the White Powderpuff of Doom, though – notably Nicole Kidman. And a few others I’m forgetting.
THE POINT BEING, it makes me feel that much better about myself with my little dab of tinted moisturizer and cream bronzer. No mistakes!
WOW.. I didn’t even notice at first but its like they completely missed half of her face!
My bestie wears a brand of make up that looks great in real life, but in photos using a flash she looks like Jen. She doesnt care about it though. It is odd that some brands do this and others dont.
No… it’s not that simple. The area immediately above her upper lip looks spray-tanned. Seems to me that a small area like that would be missed versus her jawline.
Again, I don’t get highlighting the jawline when she uses her hair to shield it all the time.
I’m sure she does have self-tanner on, but I really think the white stuff is powder. It has that velvety look whereas the rest of her face is pretty shiny. Also, in an ideal world, one’s jaw would be the same color as one’s neck, LOL. (*runs to the mirror to check…*)
Ummmmmmm, there are plenty of pictures of Rob´s bare feet, they are fine, lol.
Was neutral towards Kstew until she started whining teachers didn’t cater to her always absent ass.
That’s one of the funniest magazine covers I have seen.
Too bad they don’t show pics of guys stuffing socks in their pants too.
The last line of this comment is AWESOMESAUCE!!!!!
Double
hilarious. what bitches 😀
loll kstew has only had one stylist in all her years in hollywood
You do realize that celebs are styled by different stylist for photo shoots and movies sets, right? Not their personal stylist?
Umm…
from what I’ve seen, Kristen can definitely come off nonpersonable and sullen. But I don’t buy that a stylist wouldn’t want to work with her. Not because she’s a fashionista, but because she’s world famous,a nd would be a coveted client consequently.
And all these “stylist” confessions are all rooted in previously known gossip about anyways about all of these stars.So it’s just as easily to imagine that all these “confessions” are nothing more than the magazine playing with established public perceptions in a way that allows everyone to enjoy taking down celebrities a notch or two.
I don’t think I believe most of it or if it’s true it’s a play on the truth. Like Pitt in the desert wearing heavy body armor on set for 15 hrs stunk or Aniston had a 7 o’clock photo shoot so she needed a haircut @ 4 am but I still prefer these harmless and hilarious stories to the usual tab BS.
I was thinking the same thing. Pitt’s role in Troy was very physical, you can’t fault the guy for sweating during exertion.
The Pitt b.o. rumor has been going around since the 90s when he first went to Hollywood after skipping out of college just short of graduation. Guess he can’t shake that one…or it’s actually true, lol.
Yes, true or not, it’s a fun light-hearted read! Nice huh?
And whoever up thread that used “awesomesauce”, well, that too cute for words!
Quit spreading lies!
Dang this issue looks entertaining 🙂
Both Kristen and Rob look ripe and smelling of old beer and cigarettes. Summit should have sent Kristen to charm school so she’d know how to act in public. She is so awkward.
Complete Bullcrap (at least with Kristen). Kristen has only had ONE stylist since she’s been in Hollywood…and she has the same one now. Hasn’t let anyone else dress her.
I’m not surprised this site went with this headline…predictable.
Me neither. Brad Pitt being super stinky or the fact that Angelina needs butt pads is much more interesting than that snorefest Kristin Stewart.
Like I’ve said to ‘ummm’, celebs work with different stylist all the time. Why do you (and others) get so butthurt about Kristen Stewart stories? Get over it.
The arrive seems to be referring to general styling (hair, makeup, clothing, etc). You can ve a main stylist but magazines, films often chose their own stylist for an editorial or movie. My husband is in the film industry so this is absolutely plausible. The things I ve heard….
Ooooo. Do tell.
Spill some!
We have seen Jolie naked plenty of times and she has always had NO hips or waist but definitely had boobs and a slight butt. I don’t believe this (but who knows lol)
obviously Star had a slow gossip week, so what do they do? They let their staff writers think up hilarious soundbytes about celebrities people love to hate that fit in with their public image. Brad’s known for being smelly, Kristen being grumpy, Angelina being underweight. And then everyone gets to feel self-satisfied for thinking they could have written the article themselves — which they could have.
lol
Kristen Stewart in the commentary for Eclipse on DVD even said how the stylist or someone told her she needed to clean her nails when they did the close up shot of her with her engagement ring on….and they used a hand double in some of it.. so not exactly breaking news. And Jeremy piven, thats like saying tom cruise wears lifts is breaking news..And rob pattinson seems like hygiene is not a priority anyways but that seems like a stretch about his toe nails. And lindsey lohan, stealing?! im shocked.
I believe all of it. None of it is really shocking. I do have to defend Brad though, since I loved him in Troy. I am sure he stunk because of his intense fight scenes! That guy was working up a sweat!
funny
It’s nothing earth shattering, but it’s funny. It’s also stuff that any of us could have guessed at. I await the issue which spills really surprising things. Like Sparkle Pants wanting a coconut facial right before every make up session or Pitt being really fussy about his scarves: “Is this blended cotton? Are you making me wear cheese cloth?”
Morticians- the stories from my funeral home embalming days re way better! (ammi right? *Nudge*)
I’ve got quite a few interesting ones 😉
Where where you when I needed another mortician to back me up on the last Jolie thread? LOL
What’s with all these commenters posting “YOU LIE!!!1!” because you know these stars personally right and can vouch that they don’t have fungus feet and bad attitudes?
ugh Twihards are the worst.
How much do you want to bet Star magazine talked to a grand total of ZERO stylists?
All of this information is based off of pictures of them (Jeremy Piven wearing lifts) and what they are known for in the media (Lindsay known for stealing, Jen known for her hair).
Then you top that off with some flat out made up stuff that Star magazine thinks its readers want to believe.
Why some people buy Star magazine is beyond me.