Paris Hilton covers Vanity Fair Spain: sadly nostalgic or just hideous?

Here is Paris Hilton’s cover for the January issue of Vanity Fair Spain. I don’t get it either. Why Paris? Why VF Spain? Why this cover image which looks like a turd wrapped in beige and dipped in imitation gold? Not that I feel like Paris deserves some incredible magazine styling, but even I could have done something better than this. The makeup is terrible, her hair looks like a stiff wig, and the color scheme is awful. And her dog is all “JESUS CHRIST I can’t believe this bitch is holding me.”

There’s a behind-the scenes video too. Blah.

Paris is just so thrilled that somebody is paying attention to her. It makes me kind of sad for her, and nostalgic for a different era in gossip. Paris’s time is over, and what has replaced her? The Kardashians, Teen Moms, Bachelorettes, the Gosselins and random people just famous for who they boned. Are we better off, post-Paris?

Here are some photos of Paris in Aspen, Colorado yesterday. No, I don’t get the outfit either. But much like those photos of Mariah Carey, I kind of have to give Paris credit for being covered up in bulky clothing. The coat is absolutely hideous, and I want to rip that little pink cap off her head, though.

Photos courtesy of VF Spain and Fame.

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68 Responses to “Paris Hilton covers Vanity Fair Spain: sadly nostalgic or just hideous?”

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  1. Tiffany says:

    I’m so happy that she is back. I missed her. She looks absolutely fab on the VF cover – classy and demure. You go gurl.

    • only1shmoo says:

      Oh God, please let that be sarcasm, PLEASE! There is only one reason to have missed a vapid, spoiled, narcissistic, RUDE, sleazy tw*t like P.H., and that is that she’s fun to ridicule.

      • Camille says:

        I agree with you so much only1shmoo!

        Ugh at this b!tch.

        Also, that cover looks nothing like her. They obviously tried to photoshop her to look attractive. Still a big fat fail. *shudder*

      • BNF says:

        Tiffany also seems to be a Kardashian fan… i’m hoping most of what she types is sarcasm.

  2. Bermuda Blues says:

    Oh I kinda like the cover styling, although it makes her seem old. I like her hair in that Veronica Lake style. For some reason the whole picture is giving me a modern day Miss Havisham look. Paris should hire someone else to dress her at all times, based on that picture of her in Apsen, she’s altogether uncapable of putting on an outfit that won’t make my eyes burn.

  3. Quest says:

    she is smelling Kardashian’s blood so she is back

  4. Blue says:

    Too much gold, but I want that dog 🙂
    That Aspen outfit is beyond words 🙁

  5. becky says:

    Tell that to Latin America, where her face is all over billboards for shampoo, and the such
    then ask them who Kim K. is. no one knows. despite E!s all day long promotion of thgem (here the E! channel is literally all Kardashian, all the time – and it doesnt get any viewership)

    • Zimmer says:

      Probably because Kim has nothing on most Latin girls, nor does Paris actually, but there is that age-old Hollywood-driven obsession with blonde hair.

    • Paul says:

      Do you realize that Spain is in Europe?

    • Ana says:

      That is so untrue, everybody is very aware (unfortunately) of who is KK!

      Latin America does not equal a place behind in time and trends! >:(

  6. cmc says:

    I saw this photo and immediately said “Whoa”. Not because she looks good, or bad- just because I almost forgot she existed.

  7. GoodCapon says:

    Paris Hilton? VANITY FAIR? Oh how times have changed.

    I don’t care if it’s the Spain edition. Spsnish Vanity Fair is still Vanity Fair.

    • Karen says:

      How much did she have to pay for this? Run out of USA and someone in Spain gets free Hilton Hotel pass for a year-only way they’d do this. Her face looks like a creature from the Madam T wax museum. Waxy as hell.

  8. Dawn says:

    She is sad and hideous. And we have her to blame for bring her whoring buddy to the party of vapid but rich faux celebrity. Without this whore we wouldn’t have that Kardashian trash everywhere. Yuk and double yuk.

  9. atlantapug says:

    Feel bad for Paris??? Heck no, she paved the way for the Kardashians.

    Remember girls, you too can be a star. You don’t have to be real pretty, just bone everyone in H-wood and be sure to video tape yourself doing it. Accidentally “leak” it and voila! Instant celebutard.

  10. outofafrica says:

    She needs to disappear completely.i blame her for the current crop of no talent famewhores currently resident in hollywood. She is the god mother of all famewhores.

  11. chia says:

    Why is it any better to have Paris, isn’t she just famous for who her grandparent was and who she slept with? How is that any different than the Kardashians?

  12. horizonte says:

    wanna hear something hilarious, kaiser? the headline says “the blondest, the richest, and -surprise!- the smartest: paris hilton”
    barf.

  13. TheOriginalKitten says:

    Ugh. THIS bitch.

  14. Eve says:

    Paris’s time is over, and what has replaced her? The Kardashians, Teen Moms, Bachelorettes, the Gosselins and random people just famous for who they boned. Are we better off, post-Paris?

    Of course we’re not.

    But the reason all these scumbags — or anyone who is willing to be really really low in order to achieve success — are celebrities now is because one day, back in 2004, this festering sore became famous for basically doing nothing (I mean, AFTER her sex tape came out).

    SHE (and the ones who made her famous) opened the gates of hell and I’ll always hate her for that.

  15. jody says:

    You should look so good. Your article is absurd – you find Paris to be an easy target and that makes you a bully. Your comments are not clever, not humorous, merely rude. I will avoid looking at your blog in the future.

    • cmc says:

      Bye, jody! The rest of us will still be here, laughing at Paris for being ugly and useless.

    • Susie Q says:

      Her nasty, racist, drug charged ways have made her a target, she did it herself. There is a reason why she was voted in the top 5 of most hated people in America…she is ugly inside and out. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out Jody.

    • Carolyn says:

      Bye Nicky or Kathy. Cosign all others. Paris is still so not hot right now. Surely the boss of Pucci choked when he/she saw that photo of Paris in their coat.

  16. dorothy says:

    Vanity Fair…how low you have fallen.

  17. bea says:

    She is morphing into her mom! She looks about 45 in that pic.

    The Aspen coat looks like Pucci. What she is wearing it with is absolutely destroying it.

    She needs to figure out some way to be relevant or just fade away into a life of lunches, shopping, parties, vacations, – hey waitaminute, that sounds awesome!

  18. Silk Spectre says:

    Is it just me or does the arm that holds the puppy looks like it’s been chopped off? Photoshop fail I guess…

  19. ella says:

    Me personally would choose Paris instead of kardashians she’s is just one that is a whole family of idiots we have to deal with….

  20. mia135 says:

    Just hideous.

  21. Embee says:

    I like the Aspen coat! I just hate her trousers, shoes and the way she has it open at the top with a tee shirt underneath. And she needs to swap out either the glasses or the hat for something more basic.

  22. Gabrielle says:

    I watched Paris’ show on Oxygen. She was so bitchy and was doing her probabtion community service, and being such a bitch while doing it, bringing her assistants with her to help her with it. Compared to her Kim Kardashian looks like Mother Teresa.

  23. Hanna says:

    Ugh.. It’s not 2003, Paris. Go back to your long lost dungeon.

  24. Ivy says:

    Nicky Hilton looks great standing next to her dope of a sister in that Aspen pic!

  25. Andrea says:

    Ivy totally agree. Nicky looks great!

  26. Booboocita says:

    The VF cover is very much in keeping with Spanish Vanity Fair. I picked up a copy when I was in Barcelona about a year ago, and it’s basically all about the Spanish royal family, with a few articles about Spain’s super-wealthy. The mag’s demographic, from what I could tell, is middle-class and upper middle-class ladies who lunch — aspirants to the upper class, in other words. Paris styled as an upper-class lady at tea is perfect for that group.

    There’s a quote by Coco Chanel at Paris’s lower right: “There are those who believe that luxury is the opposite of poverty. It’s not: it’s the opposite of vulgarity.” I dunno — I’d say that Paris is luxurious AND vulgar.

  27. Alejandro says:

    Her bird like facial features make her look more and more unattractive as she ages.

    • quinnie88 says:

      Agreed! I always said she resembles a Emu. Her and Bradley falcon face Cooper should get together and mate.

  28. Amy says:

    I think she looks kind of adorable in her Aspen mucking-about-town ensemble.

  29. Jayna says:

    Paris is the most vapid human being on the planet. She is never as pretty when she doesn’t have her fake blue contacts in and tan. I never realized she had brown eyes. But I have to give the girl credit. She was stunning in her first music video where she is frolicking on the beach. She loved the camera and the camera loved her in that video. She’s a slender girl with to die for legs.

  30. Calli P says:

    She is quite unattractive. The long nose and strangely contoured mouth are always front and center in her ridiculous, never changing chin-down pose. Go away.

    • Annie says:

      I’m probably the only person who doesn’t find her unattractive. Yeah, she’s rather useless as a person (maybe not as obnoxious as Kim but up there with say Kourtney) but for some reason I don’t mind her facial features – she’s not pretty exactly (“handsome” maybe?) but unusual looking and can take a good photo. Her eyes are naturally kinda hazel-grey like Mandy Moore which suits her more but I guess she thinks the bright blue contacts are her trademark, I wish she’d ditch them.

  31. Victoria says:

    I subscribe to VF Spain and VF USA of course. I mean really I’m not shocked but I’m cancelling my order for VF after this shit. It’s bad enough US VF had a nerve to put Lindsay Lohan on the cover last yer, for no real reason. But they have great articles and I am totally enjoying the political journey of one Kristy McCandless! However, they have got to stop with putting dumb people on their covers. Scar Jo did not deserve the December issue!

  32. Green Is Good says:

    She looks like a a wax figure from Madame Tussauds. It’s just plain bad.

  33. Jover says:

    Exactly victoria and others what’s with VF this is the 50th anniversary of Hemingway’s death and Scarjo makes a US VF cover; VF loves to attack (deservedly) the palin’s of this world but they have no trouble going lowbrow with LilO and Scarjo etc., and Spanish VF with wonky eye – hell, my cat’s whiskers are more intersting and intelligent than this pneumatic piece of nothingness – Spanish VF considers wonkyeye newsworthy how so – why are all these mags bottom feeding – I just don’t understand it. There are interesting people out – i’d say spaniards should never get haughty about us vulgar americans – look who is on their mag covers.

  34. DesertRose says:

    Funny, every time I see her now I think of her aunts on RHOBH. They all resemble one another. No posts on that show lately, did it get a little too disturbing in the last three episodes? I know it makes me squirm, but I’m still watching.

  35. Amanda G says:

    I actually really love that cover picture…but I don’t love her.

  36. Kim says:

    Who would have ever thought we would long for the days of Paris when the Kartrashians were nobodies. Ill take Paris over the hairy, scary, tranny family any day.

  37. truthful says:

    I don’t like the wig but I’d prefer Paris, ANYDAY over that circus clan.

    at LEAST P had the couth, to leave and chill out—NOT these overbearing materialistic monsters.

    The Kardashians think they ARE better, but the Hilton’s money is not new and they ARE NOT BETTER!

    I’d rather have Paris and I never thought I’d say this in life.

  38. skuddles says:

    Oh cripes, not this skank again. Totally agree with Quest that she’s smelling Kardashian blood and that’s why she’s trying to make a “comeback”. Cut off one shallow, stupid, useless and annoying whore’s head and another one grows in it’s place…

  39. Kimberly says:

    Can you say Crystal from Dynasty?

    The photoshoot set is not good. It’s too cartoonish for the brand, and that makes it look CHEAP.

    As for Paris, well since the cuntdashian clan is gone she thinks she can make her cum back . . . you know herpes walk on the beach style.

  40. crys737 says:

    at least they photoshopped her wonk eye.

  41. Tweakspotter says:

    I’m sorry who is this person…a Real Housewife of Hasbeenville?

  42. Adrien says:

    tehehe “nostalgic”. Euphemism for the term ‘irrelevant’. That whole chihuahua carrying as an accessory is so over. I see luxury toy pooch bags being put on sale in most pet shop (or even boutiques).
    When you look at the video, she looks the same as the cover. Her style looks harsh, but it’s an ok cover.

  43. Lisa says:

    She has such a rubbery face. Her features are so weak.

  44. Callumna says:

    There’s a big market for a newer version of Valtrex that’ll keep her and her dog from popping up in weird places.

  45. Sugar says:

    How can anyone make Pucci look so cheap?

  46. Madrid says:

    Awful cover, very sad. Aparently she has been named “billion dollar entrepeneur” and charges 300.000 euros for show up. That´s what I could read in the extract of VF spain.
    (Feliz Navidad to everyone!)

  47. ShanKat says:

    Total nostalgia! It seemed so simple then. Ah, the cokey herpetic simplicity of the mid-to-late-aughts.

  48. LittleDeadGrrl says:

    We aren’t better or worst. Same shit. Different packaging. The only thing that’s nice to see about Paris is knowing that Kardashians are on their way out too. Can’t wait for that day!

  49. Mara says:

    Wow that is to much photoshop she looks like a plastic doll .

  50. BerMan says:

    hmmmm, she seems familiar…hmm like some t.v. / tmz somebody of yesterday.

  51. JaneWonderfalls says:

    She looks to plastic, The cover would have actually been nice, the color and tone was great but the air brushing just to much. I really wish people understand having a natural women even just a little bit is way better than being fake and plastic looking.

  52. Gina says:

    Her face doesnt seem real, photoshopped indeed, it looks like a CGI versus human. Like the setting and oufit tho.

  53. Meanchick says:

    Poor thing. She thinks the end of the Kar-trashians is her ticket back into the light. Not even another sex tape will bring this broad back to her ‘glory days.’ Never liked VF.(racist IMHO).

  54. Mary Igman says:

    She looks like someone who use to be famous…but I can’t place her name. In any case, she looks like wax. Plastic and hard.