Jennifer Westfeldt, child-free with Jon Hamm: “We have a pretty great life together”

You know I’m not crazy about Jon Hamm’s girlfriend of 14 years, Jennifer Westfeldt. Perhaps part of it is jealousy – she’s enjoyed The Hamm for 14 years, for God’s sake. Share the wealth, woman! While I’ll admit that seeing her hang on The Hamm on every red carpet does bring out my green-eyed monster, I have to say… that’s not the only reason she bugs me. Her face is just crazy to me! Look at the header photo – a formal portrait taken for The New York Times. You can’t tell me that’s natural – she’s got a Kardashian-style kat-face. And you’ve seen her speak too? The way she can barely move her face? I swear, it’s worse than Nicole Kidman. But… I’m determined to be nicer to her, because I know Westfeldt has fans and I know my jealousy is causing some bias. So Jennifer has a new interview in the NYTyou can read the full piece here. She talks openly about the issues of friendship and parenthood, the ideas behind her new film (which she wrote, directed and produced), Friends with Kids:

Having friends with kids: “Best intentions aside,” she says, having kids “always changes your friendship, at least that first year or so in a way that I think is painful for both of you.”

On being 42 years old and child-free: “I’ve thought about this a lot lately. I never thought I’d be this age and not have kids. But my life has also gone in a million ways I never anticipated.” She continued: “I kept feeling like I’d wake up with absolute clarity, and I haven’t. And we have a pretty great life together. The chance that we’ll regret it doesn’t seem like a compelling enough reason to do it. I may wake up tomorrow with that lighting bolt, and I’ll have to scramble to make it happen. You were wondering how we make it work. One way is we’re really mobile. No one’s had to give up an opportunity they really wanted.”

Jon Hamm on Jennifer: “The part of all that that I think people really don’t get is the superhuman physical, mental and emotional energy it takes to do this [film].” Especially on such a small budget. He has his suspicions about why Westfeldt still has to fight so hard: “People are going to be naturally predisposed to dislike sisters who are doing it for themselves. And it’s crazy, and it’s not just men; it’s very often other women.” As he spoke, he warmed to the subject. “There seems to be this expectation of: ‘Hold on, lady. You just stay in your place. Don’t try to reach for too much.’ ”

[From The New York Times]

Once again, “Jon Hamm: Feminist” comes out. I can’t believe he actually uttered the line “sisters who are doing it for themselves.” He’s such a child of the 1970s. Anyway… maybe he’s right. The Hamm has shamed me a bit. It’s great that Westfeldt fought so hard to make the movie she wanted to make, and there should be more women screenwriters, directors and producers. Still… if we’re going to have the feminist argument, can we talk about what she’s doing to her face and what that says about her specifically and women in general? Or do we just chalk that up to “personal preference, her choice”?

Header courtesy of Peter Yang/NYT, additional photos by Fame/Flynet.

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96 Responses to “Jennifer Westfeldt, child-free with Jon Hamm: “We have a pretty great life together””

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  1. LadyJane says:

    Friends With Kids is a great film and Westfelt is obviously a talented writer, producer and director. I didn’t notice overt plastic surgery on her dace in the film. Even if she has had plastic surgery, are we all going to hate on her for that? Really? The list if Hollywood actresses with no work done is very short indeed. And usually they are called out fir looking old, tired, and for “letting themselves go”. This woman is talented, smart, has great hair AND the Hamm. Lets just say she is pretty awesome and leave it at that.

    • Cherry says:


    • Jayna says:

      I agree. All the judgement on her is tiring. He deRly loves a woman smart and age appropriate who isn’t a beauty. Most men who hit it big end up dumping women like her moving on to bimbos or super models in their 20s

    • Molly says:

      I saw the movie and it had a lot of closeups of her face, and in my opinion, I don’t see any plastic surgery in either the movie or in these pictures. She looks forty something, which she is.

    • Cait Raft says:

      Amen. So sick of the hate against women with work done. No one wins, they’re either “tired” “tragic” or “botoxed”. leave these women alone! Let’s stop hating other women for stupid shallow reasons! Why can’t we all just be friends??

      • Heather M (Heather) says:

        WORD, to the ladies on this thread! What’s worse: making fun of your fellow “sister” for looking old or making fun of her for having too much surgery?! There is zero difference. It is just as catty (if not cattier) to call someone out for plastic surgery as it is for anything else…and then you are going to pretend its “feminist” to comment on the surgery? What, because “real” “feminist” women aren’t “supposed” to fight the demoralizing aging process? I strongly disagree. Let’s support each other, regardless!

    • xxodettexx says:

      i co-sign this as well! (also, thanks to unbeweavable for pointing out she was cancer-brain mom from Grey’s Anatomy! she was awesome on that and the episodes where she was on are some of the most emotional ones to date!)

    • taradash says:

      Yeah, but whoever worked on her face did a hachet job. poorly done. that’s too bad

    • launicaangelina says:

      I remember her from Kissing Jessica Stein and she looks pretty much the same to me.

  2. Eleonor says:

    I googled her name to find pictures, that’s not her original face. Girl should stop with fillers and botox.

  3. Marjalane says:

    I’d love to see a picture of her from ten years or more back- see if she’s always had those annoying chippy cheeks! Not into “The Hamm” at all, but their 14 year stint is pretty impressive for Hollywood.

  4. keats says:

    Aand now I have quad envy to go along with my boyfriend envy.

  5. Bite me says:

    Funny funny

  6. luna says:

    Her posture in that first picture…

    • Kathy says:

      Yes, that and the tilt of her head makes her look like either an Olsen relation or Gollum.

      Those cheeks are awful. So she’s joined the unfortunate “Chipmunk Cheek” club with Madonna, Cindy Crawford, Phoebe Price and Kim K.

      • luna says:

        It’s just too meek-looking. Throw your shoulders back and stop hiding behind your hair, girl.

  7. Cathy says:

    She has a crooked smile. To me it’s that haha I get to boink him and you don’t kind of smile. I’m jealous to.

  8. Lady_Luck says:

    well why don’t they adopt? surely they would be perfect candidates for it.

    • Franny says:

      ….why? She didn’t say anything about not being able to have kids.

    • Linney says:

      I don’t think physically giving birth is the issue. It’s having kids at all. They aren’t 100% sold on the idea. That’s their choice.

    • Samigirl says:

      While I’m adopted AND a mom (so, pro adoption, pro kids), they may not want any. And there is nothing wrong with that. I’m sure if she wanted to have a kid, she’d have 1. Not everyone wants to be a parent, and that’s ok. I know that isn’t what you are doing, but I hate it when people shove it in others face that they HAVE to have kids. Drives me insane.

  9. merski says:

    I wasn’t crazy about her acting in the movie, thought it was the weakest link…

  10. sam says:

    She has always had a crazy face, well at least since “kissing jessica stein”. I would love to see a side by side comparison. I feel like her natural face is fairly crazy so its not all her fault.

    That aside good for her to be making these movies. More women need to be writing, producing, directing.
    Mmmmmm the hamm…….

  11. Agnes says:

    good for her. not every woman experiences the “ticking clock”. i sure as hell haven’t, having a baby was a logical choice for me, not a biological “need”. :) and, she sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders. good for her and the hamm. :)

    re her “fillers” or whatever it is that she uses on her face. i’m not into it, but she’s a human being who’s probably under a lot of pressure to look a certain way. we aren’t all consistent in every aspect of our lives. we still can be feminists who take our husband’s last name and use botox. such is human nature. :)

  12. Rux says:

    I just don’t like her she just gives off that vibe that GOOP gives me but before she finally came out as a “Know-It-All” Bujjjiii Bitch.

    I could care less about her being with The Hamm since he is mine almost every time I take a shower.

  13. Franny says:

    If I could just get him alone for 5 minutes….

    • NYC_girl says:


    • Samigirl says:

      I don’t know if you saw him on Conan last week, but I became even more of a fan girl over him. He doesn’t take himself too seriously at all, and that’s such a turn on!

  14. bella says:

    This woman’s face has always been odd, so it never occurred to me that she is using fillers now…will have to google and check that out! As far as the feminism thing, Kaiser – doesn’t part of “equality” mean being able to do what you see fit with your face/body without judgement? Just sayin…

    • Agnes says:

      YES to your point about “equality”!

    • Embee says:

      Yes and no. She shouldn’t be judged for compliance with the patriarchy, but the fact that she has subjugated herself to injections/surgery what-have-you in order to conform is evidence of the partiarchical pressures to which she has (understandably) succumbed.

    • Tapioca says:

      “Equality” is being judged harshly on bad cosmetic work regardless of gender, age, race, religion or sexual orientation, not jacking your face with botox and fillers and saying it’s sexist if people want to point and laugh.

      Personally I find Brad Pitt’s frozen forehead just as enjoyable as Nicole Kidman’s…

  15. anon says:

    She was so pretty!
    Why, oh why, do people mutilate themselves?!

  16. Lindy says:

    Yeah, that does appeal to me. As long as it’s not said in a condescending way–you know, like “Hey now, ladies, y’all need to just get along! That’s the problem, that’s why you can’t get ahead!”

  17. kbomb says:

    I met the two of them at the toronto film festival. they were totally shitfaced and seemed to be having a nice time. i got wasted enough to approach them as they were leaving the bar. while originally she looked none too pleased about it (I mean can you imagine being the Hamm’s girlfriend?) but when I asked if I could have a picture, she reached out for my BB to take it. I told her I would like her in it too, and she was totally shocked. she wasn’t as friendly (hammered?) as he was but she actually seemed shy. And i thought it was cute that she was openly flattered that I wasn’t trying to hip check her out of the shot. stupid waitress took a totally shit picture, but I still covet it – even if I do want to photoshop the girlfriend out of it. LOL.

    • Franny says:

      I always like hearing stories like this because it reminds me that these people are actually humans in real relationships with feelings. We are so used to seeing these people play characters or be on red carpets, but they want to lead their lives, work, and have fun. It must be so strange to have people recognize you and want to be near you all the time.

      That being said, I would totally have done the same thing…gotten just enough liquid courage in me to get a picture.

    • Iggles says:

      That’s a sweet story! I’m glad that you included her. :D

  18. lucy2 says:

    She does have an unusual facial structure, but I do think there’s some tightening that’s happened there too.
    Aside from that, and insane jealousy she has the Hamm, I admire her for going for it with the writing and directing. More women need to do that! And I like that she’s honest about what she has and wants in her life. I can relate.

  19. heatheradair says:

    Wacky NewFace aside, have to say: after hearing her on an NPR interview the other morning, I started to understand why she and The Hamm are compatible in ways that are DEFINITELY not obvious when you see McCutlets clinging to him on the RC: she’s the “smart, intuitive, hard-working, SWEET” to Hamm’s “smart, intuitive, hard-working, FUNNY” gig. They both seem pretty well-grounded… I’ll give her a pass: she’s a smart woman who’s had a great career so far. She deserves her Hamm Happiness.


  20. Franny says:

    with that face, sweater and pose, she just reminds me of a little baby eagle waiting for her mom to come back to the nest…

  21. shaniqua nunyadambidness says:

    She looks like a caricature of Phoebe from ‘Friends.’ I mean, please…her cheek cutlets are beefier than Madonna’s any day of the week.

  22. Embee says:

    I thought it was a photo of Mariah Carey at first!

  23. Happymom says:

    I loved her movie “Kissing Jessica Stein” from years back-so I can understand how they’re compatible. I think she’s pretty, and very smart. As far as wanting kids, meh-it’s not for everyone-and I say that as someone who has 4 and adores being a mom.

    • Relli says:

      I never knew who she was so i looked up her IMDB and saw this movie featuring her. It looked like some sort of precursor to Sex and The City. Was she some sort of 90′s it girl?

      Also i think its really sweet that they have been together so long and experienced the ebb and flow of being working actors together. Yes her face is a bit strange. But when 2 people find each other and build a great life together, despite to how it may appear to the outside world, its just beautiful.

      • Sugar Malone says:

        I think Jessica was a theatre person before she got into film. I know she was nominated for a Tony award a few years ago.

        Kissing Jessica Stein (which is awesome BTW)was a movie that she co-wrote in 2001 with the other star of the film (can’t remember her name at the moment) based on a stageplay version they also wrote. Hamm has a tiny role in it as a guy her friends are trying to set her up with.

        I can also recommend the film she wrote in 2006 called Ira and Abby. Not as good as Kissing Jessica Stein, but still kind of fun.

    • Lee says:

      I really loved kissing Jessica Stein too. I know a lot of lesbians who hate it because they feel it trivialized lesbian relationships, but I thought it was super sweet and actually supports the idea of love regardless of gender. plus, the other lead ends up with a woman. It’s cute, funny and a much more interesting take on the romantic comedy than we usually see.

      I’ve really liked Jennifer since that movie and think her relationship with the Hamm seems very sweet and supportive. I think her face has been slightly jacked in recent years, but I imagine it’s an unfortunate by-product of the hollywood machine. She’s a hard-working writer/producer/actor and she seems to be doing exactly what so many who are disadvantaged in HW say they need to do: she’s writing the parts she wants to play and making the movies she wants to make outside of the mainstream hollywood system. If no one will hire her, she will make her own work and she does it well. But there is still unboubtedly a pressure for her to measure up to the hollywood standard. The plastic surgery part of their relationship reminds me a bit of Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith in a certain way, where I doubt the Hamm encourages her tweaking but she’s a woman in HW who maybe is a little shy/self-conscious who doesn’t want her career to go belly-up just because her age passes 40. It’s unfortunate, but I can’t hate on her for it.

  24. Fifthpocket says:

    She’s always had a sort of “numb face” with big cheekbones. I think she just looks like that.

  25. Chatcat says:

    14 years in Hollywood has to be about as close to setting a record as that lifestyle has. If they are happy together and childless works for them then good. Me…the best decisions I have I ever made were having my 3 children. Nothing I have ever accomplished or failed at has compared to the accomplishments or failures of my boys. I can’t imagine not having done that in my life, but at least she (they) are better off being honest about it and not having children then having them and regretting it. As far as her face, again, Hollywood syndrome trying to stay young…sad we all age!!!

  26. deb says:

    at a fleeting glance, she looks like mariah carey in the first picture

  27. Mitch Buchanan Rocks says:

    I like JW, she gives a good interview and I like how she isn’t pretending she wants kids…side eye to JA.

  28. The Truth Fairy says:

    Her face …… yikes!

  29. MST says:

    I don’t have a problem with people who chose to remain “child free” — it’s their business, and as a child welfare social worker, I see many people who shouldn’t have kids. At all. Ever. However, it seems that some of these child-free people really HATE children, and I don’t think that’s good. I know they can be a nuisance sometimes — well, much of the time, to tell the truth — but dayum, we were all rugrats at one time.

    In closing, I have to say that I don’t think Jon Hamm is handsome at all. He’s on the short side and when he smiles he looks constipated.

    • The Truth Fairy says:

      What a thoughtful comment :)

    • Roma says:

      I’m child free and on occasion, fully hate other peoples children. And the children I hate are often rude an unmannered, which then causes me to hate their parents.

      But because I don’t have kids any ideas I may have about rules and boundaries are sloughed off by said parents so I keep my mouth shut, and continue to hate the kids.

      That being said – us childless folk don’t hate all kids, only the ones with poor parenting.

      • Mitch Buchanan Rocks says:

        From working in retail I agree – the parents who let their kids screech are so annoying, yet if you say anything they are up in arms yet they don’t do anything to control their offspring.

        You may find this entertaining

      • Feebee says:

        I have three kids and on occasion I fully hate other people’s children. Once or twice I’ve looked at mine before shaking it off knowing full well I don’t really want to give them back.

        Even the most well-behaved kids will decide to terrorise a department store once or twice in the their lifetime. Don’t hate us all :)

      • Unbeweavable says:

        I have one kid and I absolutely hate other people’s bratty kids. If my kid is being a pain in the ass, I let him know and I do my best to control the situation. But for those that just ignore their kids and shop away or eat their meals, I would love nothing more than to give them an ass chewing. I’ve always been that way. Even when Lil Unbeweavable was an infant. If he cried or got hysterical for whatever reason, Mr. Unbeweavable or I would take him outside as to not disturb others. When did common courtesy become so uncommon?

      • Becky1 says:

        I don’t have kids but I like them and find them entertaining (even when they misbehave-I know it’s bad but I think it’s kind of funny…of course, I wouldn’t feel that way if it were my child!). I guess you could say that I’m “childfree by choice” but truthfully I really don’t like that term. There’s something anti-child about it and I’m definitely not anti-child. If my circumstances were different I probably would have had a child by now but I choose not to because I don’t think it would be a good idea for my husband or I at this point.

    • Ange says:

      What if CF people do really hate kids? I mean unless they’re not actively hurting them or shouting at them I can’t see how it matters how they feel about them.

  30. Buffy says:

    I have a sister that is one of those types of people that can change your perception of someone by just pointing something wrong with them. I can totally like someone and she will say one thing and from then on that is all I will see. I sweae Kaiser, you are her! I now look at this woman totally different and see all her flaws. ;-) Lol Maybe I am more of a follower than I thought……Oh well, I admit I like seeing and talking about others flaws more anyway. ;-)

  31. Happy21 says:

    I’ll say it. I don’t like her because I’m jealous. The Hamm is a fine specimen and I would love to have me some Hamm. And even though I hate her his long term relationship status is sexy as hell. That is all :)

  32. Cleo says:

    Jon!! Why the hell are you still with her when you canbe with me?!

  33. Alexis says:

    I think she’s kind of ugly…and no I’m not a Jon Hamm looney.

    Honestly, why aren’t they married if they’ve been together 14 years? The Hamm will probably leave her for a younger chick. Seriously…

    • Tiffany says:

      Not everyone thinks that you need to sign a contract and file it with the state and federal government in order to have a healthy and happy relationship. If you are committed, you are committed no matter what you sign.

      • Iggles says:

        Everyone says that, but when longtime couples breaks up it’s usually the woman is left alone while the man does move on with someone younger.

        This scenario is nothing new.

        I *hope* Jon is different but if he meets a younger woman who does want kids he’ll likely go down that road and get married. After such a long term relationship ends women don’t have that option because their fertile years have gone by…

      • Tiffany says:

        Iggles, that scenerio could play out even if they got married. Marriage does not shield a person from that. If they got married, it would just involve more legal fees.

  34. Original Chloe says:

    *********MILD SPOILERS AHEAD*********

    The ending of this movie is the corniest of corny. Frankly, I was embarassed, because it attempted to show some important marriage issues earlier and it did decent job there.

    I also found her acting atrocious, the way her voice sounded each time she talked to the child grated on my nerves. I know I’m harsh but I don’t buy that role and the persona that is perfectly exemplified by the header picture.

  35. cookie says:

    Yeah I agree – thought the ending was corny and lame. Would have been a much smarter movie to have them work out their issues without the same old romantic tripe. And yes! the way she talked to the kid was awful. I also found her really hard to watch, I just can’t handle women in their 40′s being cute and her pic above.

  36. Victoria says:

    Hated the movie, hated her voice and whenever a formal photo is taken & half the face is hidden with hair, something is off! Like all those “W” cover shots of the Olsen trolls.

    Before Mad Men Hamm was nothing, she’s had to watch him now as he has become a sex god.

    Saw him on Bill Maher, he is gorgeous. Will leave her behind soon – has to be nice because of movie for another year of publicity – she made sure of that. And Mad Men starts up.

  37. Lu says:

    I don’t think she has had anything ‘done.’ I have a heart shaped face and my face narrows at the bottom and I think that’s natural to her…like an elognated heart shape face, except she isn’t heart shaped it’s called ‘oblong’ I think. And as for her speaking I think she sort of talks to the side of her mouth, Drew Barrymore has a similar way of speaking add to that her unique voice. I think it’s just her which definitely makes her unique looking and acting.

  38. Insertrandomname says:

    when i watched Friends with Kids her face bugged me the entire time. her cheeks look so weird. it was really hard to see any change in her face and thus the acting was very poor from her. even megan fox was better lol.

  39. Unbeweavable says:

    My green eyed monster used to come out when I would see her with Hammy. Although, I saw her in a Private Practice/ Grey’s crossover where she had something wrong with her brain and was pregnant. She played the hell out of that part and I was won over. Now I’m just jealous that she gets to bone Jon whenever she damn well pleases.

  40. Adrien says:

    There was a time she resembled Julie binoche and Julia Ormond.

  41. irishserra says:

    I think she’s a bit quirky-looking… and cute. But in her early, early pictures she was quirky-looking as well. I think if she has had plastic surgery it’s been done well, in that it hasn’t altered her looks drastically and she still has the same quirky face she’s always had, just a bit thinner and her cheekbones more pronounced. I’m going to conclude that she’s just really grown into her features and maybe had a little bit of enhancements done, but nothing drastic.

  42. Tiffany says:

    *****Hollywood Reporter facts about WOMEN in the industry*****:

    1.) Only 12% of all episodes during the 2010-2011 tv season were directed by women.

    2.) (on average) When a man directs a movie, less than 1/3 of the characters are female. When a woman directs a film, 47.7% of the characters are female. Women directed only 3.6% of the top grossing films of 2009! 3.6%!!!!!

    3.) When a man writes a movie, on average 29.8% of the characters are female. When a woman writes a movie, 47.7% of the characters are female. Women wrote only 13.5% of the top grossing movies in 2009!

    4.) In age groups 31-40, 41-50, and 51-60 male actors make 44%, 64%,and 74% MORE than actresses!

    5.) Women bought more than 50% of all movie tickets sold in 2009!

    • Ann says:

      You forgot to add: these number are from 2010 or 11 (I’d guess) in the United States of America.

      Ladies, SUPPORT movies with, about and made by women!

  43. WaywardGirl says:

    I hated Friends With Kids. I thought the idea was cute but she and Adam Scott had no chemistry and her acting was questionable at best, imo.

  44. Violet says:

    It’s refreshing when a woman is honest about being ambivalent about whether to have children.

    It’s not a choice for everyone, and I have a lot of respect for people who think long and hard about whether it’s a commitment they’re ready and willing to take on.

  45. Maritza says:

    They seem like a happy couple that don’t care to have any kids. If she had job done to her face well, God knows 90 percent of Hollywood actors have had also, just saying…

  46. Kelly says:

    She seems really cool. Why pick her apart based on her looks? Hollywood needs more women like her.

  47. KatHug says:

    I love Kissing Jessica Stein so I’ve been a fan of hers before I knew Jon Hamm was. She looks waaayyyy better with brown hair like in KJS. And lay off the ‘tox. I love that Jon is so for women’s rights

  48. Moi says:

    Damn I hope she has thick skin. Listen to you women. I don’t think she is ugly at all. And the fact that she is a smart, independent woman makes her more appealing. She does look really good with brown hair tho….

    I almost saw Friends with Kids today, but decided on The Artist instead. Loved it.

  49. Jilly Bean says:

    there is so much pressure on women in relationships to start reproducing…

  50. margie says:

    I haven’t seen friends with kids, but I have a 2 year old who loves the PBS cartoon Martha Speaks. Jennifer and John guest-voiced an episode Called Cora! Cora Encore!, and it is really cute. I should know, I have seen it 56,253 times. I have to think they are cool for doing something like that, so I can’t hate on them for anything.

  51. Andrea says:

    I watched the movie and found her face just distracting. The amount of plastic surgery she has had is appalling. Why do women in hollywood do this to themselves?

  52. Mouse says:

    I’m a married gal who isn’t planning to have kids either, so I really want to like this lady. There aren’t many women who will admit to not wanting kids because of all the stigma that comes with it.

    Talent aside though, I just can’t get past the plastic face, when she smiles it pulls her whole face into this V shape that just looks freaky and stretched. I can’t look away!

  53. Dena says:

    GooD cast, Except for Westfeldt, excellent writing and direction. Westfeldt ‘s face is overfilled with fillers. And it is awful. But her figure is fantastic.

  54. anon says:

    She’s fugly and always looks like she’s pulling her top lip down to cover her teeth.