Brad Pitt is in talks to Fassdong-block Angelina Jolie in ‘The Counselor’

As I mentioned in the Michael Fassbender post earlier this week, Angelina Jolie and Fassy might be working together over the summer in Ridley Scott‘s new film, The Counselor. See! Sexual fantasies do come true! If you wish it hard enough, Jolie-Fassbender fan-fiction will come true. It will start with some penetrating looks. La Jolie will smile tenderly, not wanting to lead on The Fassdong. But he is enchanted, hypnotized. They finish a scene, and Michael walks Angelina back to her trailer. Politely, she invites him in so that they can rehearse the next scene. Soon enough… well, the trailer will be ‘a rocking. La Jolie and Fassdong, entwined, entranced, incredible.

Unfortunately, Brad Pitt knows his lover/partner all too well. He’s also worked with Fassy before, so he knows the power of L’Fassdong. Brad knows this is a beautiful, hot, sexy, AMAZING disaster just waiting to happen. So Brad has stepped in as Angelina’s official c-ckblocker. DAMN IT BRAD.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are reportedly headed for a big-screen reunion, and why shouldn’t they be? The last time these two worked on a film, the celeb-sphere was forever changed.

First things first: Director Ridley Scott is assembling a cast for “The Counselor,” about a well-positioned lawyer who gets tangled up in the drug trade. Michael Fassbender will lead the flick, and Angelina was rumored last week to be hovering around the project.

Pitt and actor Javier Bardem are now reportedly in talks to come on board, which would bring Brangelina back together on screen for the first time since 2005′s “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” (Pitt had a brief cameo in Jolie’s directorial debut, “In the Land of Blood and Honey,” but Angie stayed behind the camera, so it doesn’t count).

As if you needed reminding, in 2005 Pitt was married to actress Jennifer Aniston. Jolie had just split from Billy Bob Thornton and adopted her first son, Maddox. Brad and Jen parted ways after “Smith” wrapped production, and the rest is literally tabloid history.

If Pitt indeed signs on for “Counselor,” it would mark another significant reunion: When he directed 1991′s “Thelma & Louise,” Ridley Scott introduced a young Brad to the world. Thanks, dude.

[From The Los Angeles Times]

I’m guessing that Brad and Angelina are in talks to do glorified cameos. I’ve always wanted Ridley Scott and Brad to work together again, and I’ve always wanted Brad and Angelina to work together again… but throw in Michael Fassbender, and Brad is officially The Wet Blanket.

I can already feel the Brangeloonie wrath turning on me. You ladies know that I’m one of you, right? I’m a Brangeloonie AND a pragmatist. Plus, I’ve always preferred the “Angelina” side of the Brangelina equation anyway. So, basically, I just want what’s best for my girl. And if Angelina and Brad are ever going to deal with some crazy, torrid infidelity, I hope Michael Fassbender is “the other man.”

Here are some more photos of Fassy looking like ass in Paris earlier this week. WTF?!?!?

Photos courtesy of WENN and Fame/Flynet.

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66 Responses to “Brad Pitt is in talks to Fassdong-block Angelina Jolie in ‘The Counselor’”

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  1. Kathy says:

    It’s his teeth. In that pic with Pitt, his are 12 shades more yellow. Yikes.

  2. maemay says:

    Brad was attached to this film way before Angie was attached. I dont think that Fassy cares about dating movie stars and he sure won’t go after Angie when her husband is producing his next movie.

  3. Kaye says:

    yes, but with Fassbender, ‘looking like ass’ is a relative term. the man is still finer than 99% of the others.

  4. Elvynn says:

    Seriously can’t we stop with gossip everytime Jolie play in movie with a hot man? It is really sexist and reduce her to this sexual persona when she is more than that. It creates some fucked up rumors which will overplayed by the tabloïd – which will annoy us like always – and will prevent director from working with her or them. I mean people already desn’t want them together in this movie because of this.
    And yes Pitt was attached to this movie before Jolie and will produce it via his company. So it Angelina who come after him contrary to what you are saying.

    Ps: That’s not a personal attack. I’m just tired of seing this bullshit everywhere and everytime when Pitt and Jolie are really good actor/ress.

  5. Talie says:

    Fass seems to be solely attracted to black or mixed women.

    • kris says:

      I would say this is true, except that he has dated Maiko Spencer, who is Asian. Plus he dated Miss Germany for a while. So while Michael is obviously attracted to Black women (Nicole is adorable!) he isn’t “solely” attracked to black or mixed. Something tells me Fassy is an equal opportunity man ;)

  6. Jenny says:

    Yeah, I was waiting for this silliness. Pitt has been in the mix since February, before this silly gossip stuff, but since when does truth get in the way of tabloid headlines. He and Fassbender are friends as well, but again, why let truth interfere.

  7. ds says:

    Oh perfect white theet…whatever; sorry if it sounds insulting; but it’s the American thing I guess; I’m more into real and a bit dirty than polished and fake. So what,he smokes…

  8. jennyjenjen says:

    His suit looks like he borrowed it from an older, heavier relative. Why Fassy, why?

  9. olivia says:

    So they supposedly will have small parts. Can’t wait for the premier when AJ pushes the real stars of the movie out of her way. Maybe she will trip them with her leg. You know they will make this all about them.

  10. Victoria says:

    Fassy was dazzling in Shame and Haywire…Brad gets a mistress and Angie gets Fassy. Those S&M scenes in A Dangerous Method are catnip to Angie!

  11. lisa says:

    I’m excited for Brad and Angie to work together regardless of whether they do so as a couple. Just a scene together will be fine. And yes Brad was in talks a while back. Brad is producing Twelve Yeas a Slave and talked so highly of Fass in that IB dvd sit down with Quentin. and I agree all the talk of Angie getting with her male costars is silly. I know the none fans buy that and eat it up but seriously it is beyond dumb and unfounded. she is happy with the man she has and he still looks quite smitten with her.. They have 6 children. It is amazing to me that a woman with 6 small children and who has been in a relationship for over 7 years is still considered so provocative… Good for you have all of them beat..

    I hope this works. I have been wanting and on screen reunion for ever.. and I like Fass, but Brad and will get me to the theater first..

  12. Kola says:

    I don’t think Angie is Fassy’s type anyways, so there probably won’t be much there anyways lol

  13. Maya says:

    Need a caption competition for the first photo.

    Fassbender: “Hey Brad, I’m younger and hotter. Watch me unleash the power of my shlong.”
    Pitt: “I’d like to see you get through the c_kblock Ginger nuts.”

  14. marie says:

    WTF is up with the hair? Looks like he stuck his finger in a light socket..

  15. Kara Ann says:

    My only comment is that I don’t get the Fassbender love/lust. I just don’t see it. The only thing that I’ve seen him in was the X-men movie and, even then, I only appreciated that he did a good job. As far as c*ckblocking, well I don’t believe this story is true. If you have to worry about your partner cheating then just get rid of them. How exhausting it would be to worry about protecting your interests. I just think that Brangelina would enjoy the attention filming together would bring.

  16. OhMyGawh says:

    Pitt and Bardem were in talks before Jolie came into the picture. Looks like someone really wants to work. Does this mean the Maleficent shoot date has been pushed? At any rate, this is going to be a tabloid nightmare – not that I think Fassy would go there. Theron flirted with him pretty brazenly and he didn’t bite. Ridley Scott must understand this is going to turn into another Tourist situation. Also do people really want to see Pitt and Jolie in another film together. Could be box office poison. I certainly have lost interest. Wished Jolie would have done Serena instead. I think Jennifer Lawrence is too young for the part and totally miscast.

  17. Millie says:

    The title and the text of this write up is very offensive. Shame on you!

  18. lower-case deb says:

    I think that’s not it. jolie & depp before. now jolie & fass. PLEASE. I think it goes this way.

    “It’s Fast and Bendy on the Counselor’s Couch. But not the pair you think.
    Pitt & Fass to rekindle On-set Love Affair.
    Jolie goes to see a counselor. A REAL ONE! Threatens to take all kids and hide in remote African jungle.

    Insiders close to the couple spilled that Brad Pitt has been calling Michael Fassbender all days and all nights, even bought a new cellphone just for this purpose. Angelina Jolie was furious and cutleries have flown.

    One bodyguard reported that a teary-eyed Brad snuck out of the couple’s LA mansion to meet with Michael at an undisclosed location.

    Later that night, a source close to Michael Fassbender told us that he and Brad had two-hours of heart-to-heart talks. The word “separation” and “them poor kids” were allegedly repeated over-and-over again.”

    Yaknow, them tabs need to pay me :) *j/k

  19. T.C. says:

    I need a cigarette after my La Jolie and Fassy fantasy. Move over Brad, stop cock blocking got to see this happen. Sex scenes please and lots of them.

  20. Thea says:

    Angie needs to trade up. Time to kick Brad to the curb.

  21. Whooop says:

    Either way The brangelina and anti brangelina fans are idiots. Fassy took back the ex that accused him of horrible abuse…That could have ruined his career. If he wants Angelina he will have her and his career will be more than fine because he’s a great actor. Brad Pitt wishes he was half as good. Fassy has the same dirty sexy quality that billy bob had back when bobgelina were together and Angelina will neve get over billy bob no matter how fug he is…she will always love him….She admitted as much.

  22. T.C. says:


    What if you don’t have to choose. How about BOTH LA Jolie and Mr. Pitt with Fassy. I think Pitt would be down don’t you. I want video tape of that.

  23. Gene Parmesan says:

    He is with Nicole…give it a rest

    • Devyn says:

      Why stop our fun fantasies for that?? Love Nicole but Kaiser has had this idea going with AJ and Fassy since long before the pics of Michael and Nicole. No need to give it a rest. By the way, you do understand this is a FANTASY right? As in fiction? No need to get upset. Besides, odds are Michael will be with another beautiful lady in a few months. He doesn’t seem like the settling down type right now!

    • megan says:

      This is probably where we would come back to the FANTASY aspect of this situation. No one expects Fassy and Angie to begin a steamy affair. But Angelina is STUNNING and Fassy is hotter then hell. Who is anyone to stop us if we want to have a little fun imagining what it would be like? Take it with a grain of salt here..

  24. spinner says:

    If Charlize couldn’t turn Fassy’s head, I doubt if he would give AJ a 2nd look. And…even if the love between Brad & Angie has/does fade they are stuck with each other because of the 6 children. If they can have casual affairs & risk separation with out consideration for those kids then that makes a HUGE statement about them in itself.

  25. emma bee says:

    oh, this is all in non-serious fun. +1 to kaiser’s scenario.

    but for real, i want to see angie and fass duel it out on the big screen with no brad/other big star in the way. i want to see what they ignite, cos they’ve each got huge, intriguing screen presence. also i miss aj’s sultry femme fatale, which is what this counselor role is rumored to be. aj femme fatale + fassbender yes PLS

  26. Shel says:

    That anyone can find Ano Angie attractive is beyond my ability to comprehend. She used to be beautiful. Naturally beautiful. Naturally healthy looking. Long gone are those days. Anorexia is NOT sexy. Stop trying to glamorize it. And the Fass ain’t interested. So the JolieBender day dreamers will have to make do with their fan fiction. Write on.

  27. Newtsgal says:

    Just give Brad a bath and a haircut w/ a shave. Put all 3 in a sultry candlelit room and throw in a bottle of baby oil and let the fun begin.
    Now I’d paid to see that!

  28. Esmom says:

    Whatever anyone’s opinion is on Fassy’s looks, talent, teeth, whatever, he is the Hollywood It Guy of the moment. Why wouldn’t Angie want to be attached to a project with him for that reason alone? It’s business.

    But I love the thought of Brad monitoring them, too funny. I could see Angie seducing him just to prove she’s still got it, not because she doesn’t still love Brad. It’s all probably BS. But damn if it isn’t too entertaining.

  29. WillyNilly says:

    Are we not going to discuss the engagement? I am so not looking forward the next 8 months or whatever leading to the wedding.

  30. mln76 says:

    I have a feeling Brad and Angie will only have a fleeting scene together if they both sign on. Oh and if Angie wants the Fassdong Brad wouldn’t stop her he’d probably ask to be tied up in a corner so he could watch ;)

  31. maemay says:

    yay!! engaged…i really dont care about them just as long as she keeps her talons off of Fassy!!!

  32. Euphorima says:

    Michael Fassbender = Not cute……

    • Hipocricy says:

      I think he has a certain charm but just like Gabriel Aubry, he has the kind of face that looks mature and has many wrinkles already.

      He always looked to me older than his age, like approaching 40 when he was barely over 30, because of the shape of his face and the state of his skin.

  33. luls says:

    damn, that 1st picture of Brad & Michael in their tuxes, smiling at each other is really turnin me on!! :D

    Screw Angelina,
    Brad & the Fassdong is the fantasy I wanna see come to life! ;)

  34. luls says:

    Kaiser!! Angie and Brad just got engaged!!! His manager officially confirmed it! Theres even a photo of her ring.

    U need to cover this news STAT!;_ylt=AveF0oSUUjIJ5xPutXwR3LoPpxx.;_ylu=X3oDMTE3bDM1NjJwBG1pdANNb2QgVGlsZSAxBHBvcwMxBHNlYwNNZWRpYVBob3RvVGlsZQ–;_ylg=X3oDMTFvdnRqYzJoBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QD;_ylv=3

  35. Jasmine says:

    Umm..have you MET this fandom?? There will never be a “giving it a rest” with our imaginations and the Fassdong! Nor should there be!

    P.S-Nicole IS tots adorable, but even she can’t stop my mind from running amuck!

  36. CosmicGirl says:

    Fassy has narrow shoulders… un-manly to me.

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  38. Francesca says:

    Fass needs some white strips. Can you help him?