Lindsay Lohan is going to the White House Correspondents Dinner. Seriously.

Can everyone just STOP with the Lindsay Lohan stuff? I mean, obviously, I feel like a good portion of my day is spent writing variations on the word “crack” and I sort of enjoy that, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the whitewashing of a crackhead. I’m talking about the social legitimization of an out-of-control addict who has no business being out in the world, doing drugs and drinking and driving, stealing jewelry, and getting into unprovoked bar fights. If the Cracken wasn’t an actress, people would have already dismissed her as a criminal and drug addict.

So Lindsay’s latest coup is scoring an invite to the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner, which is this weekend. Quite honestly, this offends me more than the Elizabeth Taylor bio-pic. At least with the Lifetime movie, it felt like the cracktastrophe was contained and manageable – I mean, of course it was going to be a disaster. How could it not be? But the Correspondents’ Dinner? The President of the United States will be there. And the First Lady. And probably the Vice President and dozens of the most influential congressmen, plus the crème de la crème of the Washington press corps. And you’re going to unless a D-list crackhead into the event? Dude. She’s totally going to flash her firecrotch at POTUS. And she’s going to ask Biden if he wants a bump in the bathroom.

According to the Washington outlets, Greta Van Susteren, that old stunt-queen, was the one to invite LL. That’s not all – LL is going to bring her lawyer, Shawn Holley, and the illustrious STEVE HONIG (who I still think is just Dina dressed up as a drag king). In previous years, Greta has brought some of the more noteworthy famewhore guests – like Kim Kardashian in 2010. You know what? I’ll say it. I’d much rather Kim Kardashian get another invite, if I have to choose between Kim and the Cracken. Of course, “neither” would probably be the best option.

Other celebrities expected to attend: Reese Witherspoon, George Clooney and Stacy Keibler, and maybe Kate Hudson too. The Cracken doesn’t even belong in THAT group.

(Sidenote: there are new Cracken photos that I’ll be covering later on today!)

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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135 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan is going to the White House Correspondents Dinner. Seriously.”

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  1. brin says:

    America….land of the free and the Crackie.

  2. Samigirl says:

    Well, hell, where’s MY invite? I mean, if they’re just going to let anyone in. Michelle Obama better hide her coats. And jewelry. And shoes. :)

  3. kit says:

    She might be invited but will they actually let her in? What if she tries to smuggle in her drugs of choice?

  4. MrsBarneyStinson says:

    Oh my God! Those lips! Those cheeks! That pout! The skin! The clothes! The side-boob! My eyes!!!

  5. bowers says:

    We’ll all going to hell–unless there isn’t one.

    • Hmmm says:

      Heh. There is a hell. It’s here and now. Reminds me of the tale of the arrogant intellectual who sold his soul to the devil for glittering, brainy success. Then he died and had the devil’s diverting company for eternity. He soon learned the devil was an ignorant moron. Hell, indeed.

  6. Green_Eyes says:

    Stunned silence.. Wow I’m speechless. With????

  7. Jennifer says:

    Happy for her. Things are going well for her recently. And you could stop using these OLD photos. It’s not funny anymore. It’s pathetic and it shows how mean you are.

  8. marie says:

    seriously, WTF? this is why the girl is so delusional.. pathetic..

  9. Dawning Red says:

    “Ladies and Gentlemen, I have invited you all here to unveil my new anti-drug program. And to show you the dangers of repeated drug use to your body, mind, and reputation, I present Ms. Lindsay Lohan!”

  10. dorothy says:

    You sure she’s not going for the secret service guys?

  11. tmbg says:

    And to think back in the 90s I saw photos of JFK Jr. and his wife attending the correspondence dinners in beautiful evening clothes amongst really intelligent people.

    Now it’s come to this. I really think the internet has made Hollyweird worse. They get so much more exposure now. I wonder if LL would be getting any attention if the internet wasn’t around and all we had were some tabloids and cheesy TV entertainment programs.

    • Zelda says:

      I miss JFK jr and Carolyn. :(

      I was in highschool at their peak and used to ogle every magazine picture I could find of them. They were so glamorous and stylish and beautiful…

      Theirs were the only celeb deaths I remember actually getting sad about.


      • tmbg says:

        Me too. I’ve collected almost every Carolyn photograph I can find over the years for fashion/hair/makeup inspiration. No one in Hollywood or elsewhere can come close to the kind of style and elegance she had. And there are not many men out there who are poised and handsome like JFK Jr. was.

        I miss them a lot, and I also miss Diana.

      • Zelda says:

        Fifteen years later and I am still searching for the perfect lip stain and super-shiny hair secrets. And a JFK Jr clone.

        I especially miss that poise and class now, in a world of Kardashians trying to channel the Vegas strip in their wardrobes, and Jessica Simpsons babbling about everything in their lives like a gestating Rainman.

        If you know any good sites where I can reminsice, let me know.

      • Soxfan says:

        I was soooooo in love with JFK,Jr. I grew up in RI and when he was at Brown, a friend of a friend of a friend had word that he was going to be at this particular frat party one night. About 10 of us girls get there(I was seriously delirious with anticipation)I go first because I am DYING, and fall flat on my face in the doorway. Turned out to be the wrong frat party anyway.

      • tmbg says:

        Zelda, Face Stockholm makes a lipstick called Cranberry Veil which was one of Carolyn’s favorites. Unfortunately the Ruby Sheer/Stain by Bobbi Brown that she loved is discontinued, but there’s a BB Treatment Lip Shine in Rosy that is a similar color. Rosy is more pigmented, but side by side on my hand, the shades are pretty similar if I swatched the Ruby Sheer heavily. Also MAC’s Russian Red was supposed to be a favorite of hers.

        Can’t help you much with glossy hair products, except I think she liked the Phillip Kingsley line.

        Oh gosh, there are many tribute sites. I don’t know if I can list any here since it might be viewed as spamming. I have a page set up for her on Facebook with every picture I have collected over the years. It’s just under her name, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy. There were some wonderful Carolyn sites that were taken down, but I managed to save the photos before they were deleted.

      • samipup says:

        They both went to school in Concord, Mass., where I did. Same town, different schools though. I used to see them around town. Yes, John John, so sad…

  12. Marjalane says:

    How the hell did this jailbird pass the security clearance?! I don’t watch this Greta person’s show, but she sounds like a famewhore/Jerry Springer type. It’s only guilt by association, but the last thing Obama needs is to be photographed anywhere near the Crackie!

  13. Amy says:

    So…Susan Sarandon, someone who’s pretty active, gets denied clearance, but Lindsay Lohan, a thieving crack addict, gets an INVITE? I can’t wrap my mind around that.

  14. hillbilly in the corner says:

    Love tha Whitewashing of Lindsay Remark…or you could title this one….” A Thousand Ways to Sell Rotten Fish as Feshly Caught Trout to the Media” byeline by Micheal Lohan…..

    But the real joke is Lindsay is that old hag Gretels…”Monkey on a Leash” brought for the shock value and entertainment of the other quests to joke and laugh at ……
    Instead of a Monkey Gretel just got a “Lindsay on a Leash.” and her two keepers Shawn and Steve Honing …One to hold the leash and one to speak for her…..BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  15. OhMyMy says:

    Maybe this is just a clever sting operation to get her there and ask her where her taxes are.

  16. Cathy says:

    I double checked the date because I thought Kaiser was pulling a bad April Fools joke on us. But alas tis not April 1st. Thank god my invitation got lost in the mail.

  17. says:

    Greta, please take the fat cat instead

  18. Peachy says:

    Lifetime should produce a bio-pic of Lindsay and her parents. Could be called Snatch, Crackie, and Pop!

  19. Axel 5 says:

    O.M.G poor lindsay, I know she´s crazy but I love this bitch!

  20. Sillyone says:

    My thought on this whole Lohan situation is this. She is never going to change not when things like this are thrown at her feet. She is rewarded for all of her vial behavior. She is no more of an addict than I am, (FYI I have never used drugs) I believe she uses the “addiction” excuse just for that for an excuse for when she does get in trouble so it is “oh poor Lindsay she needs serious help” that’s bullshit.

    And why would she change or why does she even need to when things like this are constantly dropped in her lap.

  21. Anaya says:

    The WHCA dinner is a televised event or at least parts of it is televised live. I gotta admit that I’ll watch it just to see how Lindsay looks or how she interacts with the other guests. Should be interesting.

  22. Sisi says:

    I wonder who Lilo will throw a drink at

    • wunder says:

      Lil’o Crackhead thought ‘D.C.’ meant ‘Da crack’ and that the White (Powder) House was where stuff is stashed! She’s such a dumbass that she thinks ‘Da Prez’ can hook her up.

      Q: Do they have any nice big potted plants over there that Lil’o Crackhead can spiral into?

  23. G says:

    I guess petty crime doesn’t phase Washington. Maybe she pick up a some new customers.

  24. Mich says:

    Aaargh! The more I think about this the more it ticks me off. The only thing I can come up with is that Greta wants to recruit Crackie to Scientology so that she can be ‘fixed’ and shown off to the world as an example of Xenu power.

    Honestly, Scientology, the world already thinks that you are a bunch of crackpots, must you make it so literal?

    • Mich says:

      Ok, so I’m replying to my own comment here but I think this might be what is going on.

      Kaiser/CB – could we be watching a Scientology recruitment ‘live’??

      If ‘yes’, I don’t know who to feel more sorry for, Scientology or Crackie. I think she has the stuff to break them. Then again, having her on lock-down in their celeb center or The Good Ship Xenu would not be a bad thing…for her or the rest of the human race.

      edited to add: OMG. I think I might actually be Team Xenu on this one. OMG. Going to wash my brain out now.

    • MJ says:

      I am really against Scientology as a cult/corporation, but I have no hate for the people who get sucked in (and ultimately, blackmailed to stay.) Greta Von Susteren, however, is an exploitative C-U-Next-Tuesday. I think you’re onto something with the $cientology connection. She probably gets a kickback from Sea Org if she brings a new, young star into the ranks.

      • Mich says:

        I also feel so incredibly bad for the regular people who get sucked in and then find themselves stripped of everything and trapped. Honestly, day-to-day Scientology reads more fascinating and scary than the most out-there fiction.

        Crackie, however, will be treated like a queen. I can only imagine how these lunatics are salivating over making her the newest showpiece of the rightness of their faith.

        Goodluck Scientology! Lilo has defied far more worthy and reasonable efforts than you!

        p.s. I don’t know if Greta would get a kickback but it sure would be a feather in her crazy cap and probably a kick up the levels. Members/believers have to give a fortune to the cult and I never read about the cult giving back.

      • MJ says:

        Yeah, a kickback in the form of more sci-fi novels and another level on the Operating Thetan scale!

    • Jackson says:

      How did I not know that GVS is a Scientologist? Wow. You may be on to something here in her trying to recruit LL.

  25. mandy says:

    lindsay and stacy two girls who are half naked pictures and a rather pornographic! congratulations america is pathetic … but really fun for us ….

  26. aquarius64 says:

    Whoever put this woman on the guest list needs to lose his/her job. LL is an incident waiting to happen, and during an election year too. The White House has not direct control over this, but with the GSA and the Colombia stripper mess, it doesn’t need another bad headline tied to it.

  27. Jackson says:

    Terrible. Seriously, just unbelievable. GVS should be ashamed of herself for extending this invitation. Beyond ashamed. I cannot even adequately express my contempt toward her for pulling a PR stunt like this.

  28. Krock says:

    That first picture is very disturbing :O

  29. Maria says:

    I don’t understand why people are still eager to give Lindsay so many new changes to redeem herself considering how many times she has already messed up. When Winona Ryder was caught from shoplifting, she just basically vanished when no one was hiring her anymore and she had so much more talent than Lindsay could ever have. And she wasn’t even a threat to anybody else like Lindsay has been. (Lindsay’s DUI)

  30. some bitch says:

    Are you sure that headline is right? She isn’t just going to D.C. to buy a bunch of crack and drunkenly pose for Terry Richardson outside the gates of the White House?

  31. Beatrix says:

    one of her powerful banker Johns probably pulled some strings everyone, money buys the world, we’ve known this for a long time.

  32. Agnes says:

    as what? a coat-check girl?

  33. Zorbitor says:

    How do you think I feel? Linds had my love child and gave it to a Mormon!

  34. Pants says:

    Isn’t this the same event that Susan Sarandon was denied clearance to attend? I mean, you would think someone who is politically active and engaged would be encouraged to attend something like this, but apparently not. So, clearly the message here is people who are active in the community and thought-provoking in politics… No. Crack-a-doodle-doos… Yes.

  35. Mia says:

    Some part of me wonders if she is delusional enough not to realize she is being used. Yeah she is probably that delusional.

    The publicity hounds will use her for about a year I would say, and she can delude herself into thinking she is a big star. Once that goes away too…oh the crash the will come…we ain’t seen nothing yet!

  36. Mia says:

    Some part of me wonders if she is delusional enough not to realize she is being used. Yeah she is probably that delusional. The publicity hounds will use her for about a year I would say, and she can delude herself into thinking she is a big star. Once that goes away too…oh the crash the will come…we ain’t seen nothing yet!

  37. Mia says:

    Some part of me wonders if she is delusional enough not to realize she is being used. Yeah she is probably that delusional. The publicity hounds will use her for about a year I would say, and she can delude herself into thinking she is a big star. Once that goes away too…oh the crack-tastrophe the will come, we ain’t seen nothing yet!

  38. jojo says:

    Here’s a crack conspiracy theory to go with the cracken – The government gave her an offer – They’d get her out of probation if she’d agree to spy for the government. You see, its all a front. The cracken is now Secret Agent Cracken, and in exchange for being released from probation, she’s going to defend the U.S. from terrorists and bad guys with her cracky ways. All hail the cracken!

    • sunmoonstars says:

      I think it’s much more likely that she’s been hired for the evening. Journalists are pretty scummy people for the most part and they love hookers, blow and drinking, especially in DC. Remember, it’s the capitol of the Evil Empire and the debauchery, cynicism and foul rot is way worse there than anywhere else. I’m a native of the area and it’s truly vile and brings out the absolute worst in people. I often wonder if it’s cursed…

  39. MarenGermany says:

    I love love love your country but these are the things I dont get (like the kardashians)

    • Arla says:

      haha well thank you for sticking by us through things like this… and worse.. the majority of us love our European friends, even if the people in charge don’t always act like it :( And we’re really sorry about sending those Jersey Shore kids over to your side of the Atlantic… Luckily you guys had a nice mountain range there to keep them at bay.

  40. Nanz01 says:

    Is it too much to hope that she’ll wear the pink fur coat? It would make my life.

    Also, Greta Van Sustren is a hack. She’s like the Nancy Grace of GOP News. She invites D-listers to this event just to create a stir. She makes a mockery of an otherwise classy event.

  41. Figgy says:

    I find it just *hilarious* that you’re crying out “STOP TALKING ABOUT LINDSAY LOHAN” (Because really, that’s exactly what you’re doing) while…posting an article talking about Lindsay Lohan.

    Face it: You’re part of the problem. It’s all your own fault.

  42. OXA says:

    I she was born in the U.S.she can run for “President” maybe she wants to throw her crack hat into the ring.

  43. Ron says:

    Well, everyone there has been forced to report on here at one time or another in the last 5 years, so now they can all bitch slap her in person. Go Greta.

  44. ladybert62 says:

    At one time I respected Greta – lately, not so much – and right now, not at all. Bad choice Greta – you will regret this one I am sure.

  45. Beatrice says:

    As if the White House doesn’t already have enough drama around the recent Secret Service scandal! I hope the hotel is prepared for broken dishes, stolen stemware, and at least two valet parking altercations.

    All bets are off when you decide to unleash the Cracken!

  46. Lisa says:

    Well, they let the Salahi’s in one year.

    • OhMyMy says:

      That wasn’t the White House Correspondents dinner that was a state dinner at the White House for the Indian Prime Minister.

      I do believe Spencer & Heidi got invited to the WHC a few years ago right? So standards have been slipping for quite awhile.

  47. Minty says:

    We live in a world of such low standards. SMDH.

  48. Leen says:

    Who the hell is she blowing??

  49. wunder says:

    Isn’t Lil’o Crackhead one of those hookers the Special Service let in???

  50. MaxxHotness says:

    Drama gold…. Wish I was invited just to see it all go down. “….move those losers, I’m Lindsay Lohan.”

  51. logan says:

    Well, I didn’t have a lot of faith in my government before this news flash. Now, that the Secret Service gets hookers, why not let Miz Cracka-lack-a into the WH. I am sure the President and his wife think LL is a fine roll model for all of America’s youth.
    Can’t wait to see the photos. I am sure she will be precious, demure, courteous, funny until she excuses herself to go do some crack in the presidential bathroom.

  52. e.non says:

    she’ll be in her element — wdc is full of whores.

  53. Sumodo1 says:

    Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne went in 2002, and they were asked by…Greta Van Sustern. I attended in 1988 along with my fellow staffers at NPR.

  54. Cody says:

    Well Stacy Keibler is going and that is because she is escorting George Clooney, so anything is possible. By the way I don’t think you could put Stacy with Reese George and Kate category. Stacy is a d-list/ reality celeb like Lindsay and Kim. The Correspondents Dinner is getting to be a real joke on who is going.

  55. Chrissy says:

    I don’t understand why she has a double chin when she is so skinny.

  56. Arla says:

    omg thank you for posting that pic of her from below where you can see her botched chin job! I couldn’t figure out exactly what she had done to her face and thankfully that pic made it very clear what happened! She was cracky skinny when she got the chin done and now that she’s been eating at all because she hasn’t been on coke 24/7 the fat is growing around the fake parts. wow…. never get plastic surgery when you’re unnaturally crack-whore thin!! And I love Linsay! I want her to get clean and get her career back or even just go away and live out of the spotlight but it was really bugging me that I couldn’t figure out exactly what they hacked at on her poor face. She’s right around my age. She did not need plastic surgery.

  57. Seen says:

    The big question — will she (finally) wear a bra ?

  58. DailyNightly says:

    Does anyone get the feeling that this is straight out of “Dinner For Schmucks”? All the bigwigs get to invite one idiot to see who is going to be the biggest loser of the bunch? I bet there is already a secret betting pool going on with the odds favoring Lindsay as the winner.

  59. Hayley says:

    Maybe they’re just providing a tramp for the guests? It’s been known to happen….

  60. Mounir says:

    I’m glad she’s bringing her lawyer and Steve for supervision. They can hold her hand through the event so she can get as much god press she can get. I’m rooting for her and this come back.
    But I agree with you, Kaiser, it’s offensive she’s going, I bet she has no idea who the VP or Sec. of State even are. This is no place for her, stick to Hollyhood Linds, DC is no place for a questionable actress. You should at least be using your celebrity for good to be there.

    • Guest says:

      I think it is funny that Leon Panetta is sitting at the same table at George and Stacy. How enlightened could Stacy be about about a war in the Middle East. Oh that is right, she is a ex-wrestler. I love Uggie the dog, he will be the guest of Washington Times and will be sitting at their table. They couldn’t find socially minded actor activist to invite. Uggie the dog, Lindsay Lohan and Stacy Keibler reminds me of an old Vaudeville Act

  61. Guest says:

    I remember when the White House Correspondents dinner was a classy affair, now it has become a three ring circus for the celebs. Soon there won’t be any White House Correspondents going to the dinner, it will be for just the Celebs who can get a ticket to see the President. I guess award season is over, so the celebs need some place to party.

  62. ZenB!tch says:

    I look forward to the recap… “right as Comedian X leaned into the mike to deliver his punch line about the president… a red smelly Cracken fell on POTUS’ lap and Mrs POTUS had to bitch slap the Cracken away, as it desperately clawed at the presidential zipper!”

  63. hillbillygirl45 says:

    First, the pics are awesome they show this crack-ho at her best. Second, WTF!? I miss 2 days comin’ here, and the world has gone to hell in a hand-basket. The Kardouchians get re-upped for 3 years, and this skank is invited to the White House….Yes, there is a Hell, and I’m in it….

  64. Deepa says:

    Why, oh why are we still giving her a platform? She has destroyed any veneer of professionalism a long time ago.


  65. sarahtonin says:

    The White House Correspondents’ Dinner might as well be held at a mobile soup kitchen out the front of a crack den for all it’s worth now. Put ya teefs in, POTUS is coming.

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