Ryan Gosling “grew distant” with Eva Mendes last month, doesn’t want to live with her

Almost one week ago, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes stepped out for what seemed like their first big, blatant candid photo op since their holiday in the City of Lights last November. Can you believe they’ve been together… something like eight or nine months? I’m counting that September trip to Disneyland as “the beginning” of their relationship, just because it seems like Gosling took all of his girls there in the first stages of dating (and then post-Disneyland, he would dump them).

Now, Gosling and Eva had been photographed together a few times in between Thanksgiving and last week, but it really seemed like Eva was trying to tone down her famewhore, perhaps under orders from Ryan Gosling, who must realize that he’s become somewhat overexposed. In those dark months, Eva and Ryan often faced speculation (which I started) that their relationship wasn’t for real, that they weren’t really into each other, that he had already dumped her, etc. The photo op last week was a bold move, I thought. All of a sudden, I thought, “Wow, they’re way more solid than I previously believed.” Especially considering that pre-photo-op, it really seemed like Eva and Ryan were barely seeing each other any more. Well… we were sort of right, according to Us Weekly. Throughout April, Eva and Ryan were kind of on the outs. Sort of.

Eva Mendes got to play house with Ryan Gosling all spring when she tagged along to Thailand for his Only God Forgives shoot. The actress cooked up a storm for their dinners, marvels a Mendes pal: “This was a girl who once couldn’t make pasta!”

But come late April, when the duo were back in LA, it got complicated. Gosling, 31, grew distant, and Mendes, 38, confronted him, says the pal.

“He says he wants to slow down and not live with her yet. But he doesn’t want to lose her.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

I have wondered how Ryan managed to go from girl to girl so quickly, and how he managed to do it all with his “sweet heartthrob” image intact (when really the guy goes through girls like a Gerard Butler). Is this how Ryan does it? He does the “growing distant” and the “phase out” breakup? That sucks. But Eva managed to hold on to him for some reason. Maybe Ryan finds it beneficial to have an “official” girlfriend right now. Jesus, is he turning into Justin Timberlake?

Oh, and In Touch Weekly (via Jezebel) has a story this week about Ryan meeting Eva Mendes’s mom. Apparently Mother Mendes loves and adores Ryan and she was seen “gushing, hugging and kissing” Ryan in the front yard of somebody’s house. Hm…

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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101 Responses to “Ryan Gosling “grew distant” with Eva Mendes last month, doesn’t want to live with her”

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  1. Liv says:

    Hurrah!! ;-) It’s a matter of time (probably when their movie comes out)!

  2. Jayna says:

    Why are women always pushing to live with men?

    She has kind of a hard face.

    • beyonce's bump says:

      that was incredibly sexist! Not all women push to live with men. In fact my fiance was the one who begged for two months that I move in with him a year ago. I was not ready to part with all aspects of my living independence just yet (although I definitely do NOT regret moving in..now) even though we had gone out for two years already. It is not a women vs. men issue, it is just about who is more ready to give up total independence for “love”….i guess.

    • davie says:

      I agree that she’s kind of rough around the edges and “hard” looking. She’s not particularly soft or feminine. She doesn’t seem very friendly or approachable either. I would prefer to see him with someone more inviting and sweet. Someone similar to Carey Mulligan or Marion Cotillard.

  3. Tiffany27 says:

    I use to be so in love with him, now when I hear about him I’m just like “Ugh”.

  4. brin says:

    Well, that last sentence may be the reason why he’s growing distant.

  5. Hubbahun says:

    Nothing I loathe more than someone who does the ‘distant’ thing – either put up or shut up! Dick.

  6. Marjalane says:

    It’d make me more than a little insecure to be 38 dating a guy who’s 31. A guy who usually has a co-star like 21 year old Emma Stone! Eva Mendez with her goofy 70′s wardrobe, and limited acting abilities, probably isn’t going to be around much longer.

  7. Aiobhan says:

    There is hope for me yet! Must remember to never let him take me to Dusneyland. Great Adventures is more fun anyway.

  8. Tiffin says:

    ‘Apparently Mother Mendes loves and adores Ryan’

    Ah yes, but what does Mother Gosling think of Eva??

  9. shaboo says:

    i haven’t heard of him going from girl to girl?

    • Elsa says:

      Yeah, me either. Last time I checked supposedly he had gone on a date w/ Kat Dennings one year and then I heard about a date w/ Blake Lively another year. But other than that…?

      And if it’s true that they’ve only been together for eight months and he’s already met her family, spent the holidays with her and she followed him to Thailand while he filmed his movie, I think taking it slow is a smart thing to do.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      Wasn’t he with Rachel McAdams for 4-5 years? I don’t think he’s a serial dater at all. I get the impression that he’s a relationship dude who dates other girls briefly in between long-term relationships.

  10. Jane says:

    I think one of the reasons they don’t seem like a real couple is their complete lack of emotion whenever they’re together. Not once have they been smiling, or even touching each other affectionately. Remember the photos in France? Every time it seems like they’re not talking, just staring ahead and walking. It seems so weird especially when you remember the candid photos of him and Rachel McAdams. I’m not one of those people who thinks those two are destined for each other, but the comparison is interesting. The above photos of Ryan and Eva do not look like two people who are in love.

    • Relli says:

      ITA, their body language is strange and never once show the emotion of first flushes of love. I sort of think his relationship with Rachel was epic on the level of crazy in love feelings. Almost all the the way up until the end they looked nothing short of completely in to each other. I blame their ages/maturity level.

      *its important to note i never saw the notebook until after they broke up so i rarely confuse their real relationship with Noah & Ally

    • emily says:

      I agree. With Rachel, he was always gazing lovingly at her, and always leaning in to kiss her, or he’d kiss her on the hand. He truly looked like a man in love when he was with her. It was really sweet.
      With Eva, I see none of that. Maybe he’s become more reserved with PDA now, or he’s just not as in love with her. I don’t know.

  11. cheerfulgee says:

    I believe there is a valid hypothesis for the seemingly urgent question of “Why (Oh why?) is Ryan Gosling dating Eva Mendes?”. This hypothesis is based on the “Opposites Attract Theorem” that was proven by some famous scientist (or Steve McQueen) a long time ago.

    Observations of Opposites Attract Theorem:

    Ryan / Eva
    Renaissance Man / See Rachel Welch: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060782/
    GQ [style] / PU [style]
    “Finest Actor of His Generation” / ”Meh”
    Barely Tolerates Staged Photo Ops / Pretends to Barely Tolerate Staged Photo Ops
    Handsome / Very Handsome
    Bright as a Newborn Star / http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_hole

    My hypothesis is that the release of “A Place Beyond the Pines” will conclude this phenomenon. Exception: Unexpected event: [exp. pregnancy, new movie.]

  12. Talie says:

    He must just get bored easily. I’m sure the girls who stay the longest with him are the ones who are indifferent. But even Blake Lively couldn’t make it work and you know that’s her Rules move.

  13. Missy says:

    Ha! I don’t believe that she can cook, she probably can just opens a jar of sauce now and reheat it, or maybe Ryan would open the jar with his manly man hands :)

  14. Grasshopper says:

    I think this sounds like Eva but the popular guess is Cameron Diaz…


  15. TheOriginalKitten says:

    Um, it’s definitely a HUGE stretch to compare him to Butler, who is clearly on the edge of a breakdown, who bangs the likes of LiLo, who bangs strange in porta-potties, who is basically an unhinged mess with a serious substance abuse problem, who likely has The Herp (or worse).
    As a female, I have always been hesitant about moving in with a guy, even if I’m in love. It’s a scary thing and I don’t think the dude should be dogged or looked down upon because he takes that shit seriously. I’ve seen too many people move in together on a whim or because it was financially convenient, only to end up with a big mess on their hands when they find out they rushed into things too quickly. Please don’t automatically vilify him because he seems to be a thoughtful guy with a solid head on his shoulders.

    • Peach Dancer says:

      Yeah don’t really believe that either. On that Disney date with Blake Liveley there was another person with them which looked a bit like his assistant. I always thought that this was an arrangement by Harvey Weinstein to get some press for Blue Valentine. On the date with Olivia Wilde it didn’t look like they were even a couple. But then, he is young and in his best years, if he wants to find a girlfriend he has to meet girls and kiss them too to find out if they match. With Eva Mendes – they definitely started out as a PR set up, but hooked up for real after a while, if only to make it look as if it wasn’t just for PR. EM doesn’t seem to be a very intelligent or sophisticated person. Honestly I wonder how I would fare with somebody like that. I’d be bored quite quickly, and it would definitely be a turn off if I found out that that person would be rude to others.

    • Embee says:

      I agree that he’s just being cautious about moving in together. He has a lot going on, and if they live together she’ll be all “where are you? when are you coming home?” which is annoying as f#@$ and impedes his ability to throw himself into his career.

    • pj says:

      Wasn’t there someone who started a twitter account a year or two ago calling Ryan out for picking up his friend at a bar, and throwing her out like garbage after he was done with her? That’s not very gentlemanly. Eva and Ryan might be more alike than we think, meanness wise.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Um, I’d be leery to believe anyone who “started up a twitter account” solely to trash a celebrity. In fact anyone who goes out of their way to campaign against an actor probably has a whole host of issues. I guess by your definition, then I’m “mean” too because I’ve had my share of one-night stands and not felt the need to call the dude again *shrugs*. It’s 2012, I think it’s acceptable to have casual sex without expecting it to lead to a relationship.

      • pj says:

        Yeah, who knows if it’s true or not. He’s not perfect and he’s not a god. I’m sure he acts like a jerk sometimes, as most guys do.

  16. shaboo says:


    please, you can’t judge anything from the photos above. I don’t care about this couple either way. But that is dumb.

    You could catch a candid of my boyfriend and I walking around and think we weren’t together. We hold hands sometimes but not everyone has walk around stuck together with their heads in each others necks to be in love.

  17. Kinsei says:

    he has finally found out that she has a penis!!!! :D

  18. bns says:

    I’m surprised he hasn’t proposed to her yet. He seems like the type of guy who gets too serious too quickly.

  19. tru tru says:

    I wonder is she still using coke?? sneaking of course.

    that can put a huge wedge in a relationship.

    I kinda think this is a contract.

  20. Nessa says:

    Maybe this is a plant by his PR because they knows how unpopular Eva is with his fans. There has been an overwhelmingly negative response to this relationship. A lot of his fans are put off by the idea of them together.

  21. mia girl says:

    That shirt/jacket he’s rocking is really fug.

  22. merc says:

    For what it’s worth, the Vancouver-based pap agency that went to Thailand to photograph them continues to claim that Ryan and Eva are “solid.” They implied this recent batch of photos resulted from Eva’s desire to shut down tabloid reports of trouble in the relationship that had cropped up because they had not been photographed together in awhile.

  23. NYC_girl says:

    Agree too. He was great in Half-Nelson and Lars. So different from “Drive,” which I didn’t get.

    • cat says:

      Totally agree! I thought he was cool back then. Not overly famous and overexposed, but well known and respected. And no attention-seeking girlfriend in sight.

    • ADL says:

      Well I did love Drive, if that was the only movie he was in last year then I’d have no problem with that but Crazy, Stupid, Love did him no favours…if anything it just put him back in The Notebook phase which he spent years trying to get away from.

    • Peach Dancer says:

      Absolutely loved Drive – such a great movie! Agree with Crazy Stupid Love have him just raise his profile but not doing much in terms of critical acclaim. More than Emma Stone I think Carey Mulligan and him had such an endearing (jet sizzling) chemistry as Irene and Driver. Too bad those two didn’t hook up. Carey always comes across as a really cool girl. Very talented too!

  24. The Original Denise says:

    I would say to Mama Mendes, don’t get too attached. Gosling is way too into himself to settle down with Mendes.

    • rose says:

      Some sources say his mom loves, LOVES Eva. Others say she is not sure and fears Eva’s a bad influence on him. Who knows. I do know he is very close with his mom, and that her opinion must be important to him. She’s pretty religious too, isn’t she? I wonder if she has seen some of Eva’s vulgar photoshoots?

      • well... says:

        Ryan’s mother was not a huge fan of Rachel McAdams. Yes, Rachel McAdams, every mother’s wet dream. Rumor ’round the mill is that her meddling etc. caused the final break up. Eva Mendes has no chance in hell of being marginally accepted. I mean she spent her entire career selling the “sex-pot” image with her ‘I’ve had sex in every state’ comments etc. I can’t imagine that his (mormon) mother would be accepting of her transparent sex-focused image.

  25. Dani says:

    Ryan is a fine actor and that has always been what made him hot in my eyes.

    However, I am disappointed to learn that he does “the distant thing” with his women. I really can’t stand passive aggressive behavior. IMO, people do that when they want you to back off but they are not entirely sure they want you out of their life 100%. It sucks for the almost dumped because it doesn’t let them move beyond the bad relationship. If he is truly doing this, he needs to man-up and be honest and she needs to have the courage to move on. I am sure both of them will have no trouble finding new love interests.

    Maybe they need to look outside of Hollywood though as it seems to be this intertwined circle of relationship doom.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      I agree with the “distant” thing sucking. Keep in mind we don’t really know if this is what RG does-it’s tabloid gossip. But if it’s true that he does this, I think it’s also the other party’s responsibility (in this case Eva) to sever ties. I’ve been on both sides-I’ve been the one who wasn’t “100% sure” and I’ve dated the one who wasn’t “100% sure” so I think I have a well-rounded perspective. I’m not one of those girls that overanalyzes or reads into guy’s actions (“well, he still calls me so he MUST like me” etc etc). I really truly believe that if a guy loves me, he’s in it 100%, there is no doubt, there is no distance, no games. If he’s not, then I’m on my way. It sucks but we’re all responsible for our own happiness. The blame can’t fall all on one person and you can’t be treated like crap unless you allow yourself to be treated like crap.

    • kara says:

      I agree. He should look outside of showbusiness for a relationship. Like Matt Damon. He would probably get less intrusions and less of the problems and drama that come with dating another celebrity.
      He likes to be low-key. Eva is anything but. You know she wants to be seen with him.

  26. menopausal says:

    He seems like a pretty normal dude to me in interviews. Their relationship is probably like any other relationship, only harder to hold on to with global travel, movie schedules, press tours, etc. Love is pretty much always fleeting, so why should theirs be any different?

  27. LOL says:

    Maybe he’s realizing just how bad her reputation is? And she didn’t even thank Ellen for the gifts when she was on her show. Totally rude and disrespectful. Seriously, the stuff that comes out of this woman’s mouth. She’s not very bright. She just recently said she loves cleaning her house because it is “so much fun!” And she likes to check into hotel rooms just to clean them? I mean, who says that?! She’s an airhead and a diva. If Ryan stays with her long term, my opinion of him is not going to stay very positive. It says that he just wants a dumb woman with no life of her own to cater to his every need.

  28. Daisy says:

    He looks pissed off in the pictures and she looks worried or concerned with those lines across her forehead. Not a good sign for a happy coupling. Where’s the smiles and laughter?

  29. LeeLoo says:

    I actually believe he will hold on to Eva. Him having a stable girlfriend is only benefitting his image right now. I actually would take him at face value that he doesn’t want to lose her and he just wants to slow down. Whether that will satisfy Eva is another story. I think she’s 38 and is feeling her clock ticking and wants to have a baby and she may be trying to rush things faster than he wants. I get the feeling she will dump him.

  30. SmartGirlsAlwaysWinInTheEnd says:

    Yes, Yup, Yes. Agree. Agree. Agree.

    Plus, he looks miserable here having to deal with his contractual obligations-I mean the stress of such a, cough, public, cough, cough, laugh, relationship.

  31. lucy says:

    completely agree, I miss the “discreet” ryan he was before all that showmance and the good movies choices he made. Now there’s too much PR. Last week the famewhore mendes had a movie on teathers so these pics in NY came out-mendes PR- and now it seems that ryan PR crew is trying to save his image telling all the “crazy gosling fans ” that he wants to slow down… lol PR PR PR

  32. Electra says:

    Oh man, major red flag. Think Ryan is trying open up his options. Not really fair to her.

  33. fluffybunny says:

    Don’t kill me…I just don’t understand his appeal. I don’t get why people are all nuts about him. He’s okay at best, he can be attractive, he seems like a decent guy but I don’t get it.

  34. jade says:

    Is it just me, or does Eva come off as really needy and clingy? She flew all the way to thailand, and spent the whole time waiting around for him while he was putting in 12+ hours a day on set. Also sounds like she was cooking, cleaning and doing everything for him. Doesn’t she have things of her own to do anymore?

  35. stella says:

    Eva needs the learn “The Rules”. If she let him pursue her instead of acting like she’s so lucky to have him he would not be getting “cold feet.” “Hotness” may help you to get the guy’s attention but it is not enough to keep it.

  36. R says:

    Have noo idea what women see in him.