The few times I’ve watched HBO’s Real Sports, I’ve been blown away by the stories they’ve told. I don’t actively seek it out, though, as I’m not that interested in sports. I would love to see an entertainment equivalent of Real Sports. We don’t need any more talk shows or reality shows, I would like to know more about how the industry works and see some interviews that are in depth and revealing. In one of the latest interviews on Real Sports, a 29 year-old Olympic Track and Field athlete named Lolo Jones reveals that she’s a virgin by choice, and is saving herself for marriage. There’s a clip of the interview above. I don’t know what to think about it, except to wonder why she’s made this decision, and why she’s sharing it with the world. Here’s more, from People:
She’s got looks, strength, and a ticket to London to run in the Olympics. So what is track & field star Lori “Lolo” Jones missing? A steady boyfriend.
She’s been looking online – with every online dating service out there, reports HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel – and has had the most luck on Twitter, she says. Although not that much luck.
Holding back the 29-year-old in her quest, possibly, is the fact that she recently Tweeted that she is a virgin. “It’s something, a gift I want to give my husband,” she says on an episode of the pay-cable program to air May 22.
“This journey has been hard,” she continues. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Harder than training for the Olympics. Harder than studying for college has been staying a virgin before marriage.”
She admits, “I’ve been tempted. I’ve had guys tell me … ‘Hey, you know, if you have sex, it’ll help you run faster.’ ”
Only Jones didn’t buy that suggestion, despite how much she wants the gold medal. “If you marry me,” she quips on the show, “then yeah.”
[From People]
It’s her body, her choice. Many people make the decision to wait to have sex until marriage. To me, it seems like you might be rushing into marriage in order to give yourself permission to have sex, but to each their own.
A quick read of Jones’ Wikipedia entry reveals that she had an extremely rough childhood. She moved to a new school almost every year as a child, and was raised by a single mom with four other children. At one point in the third grade, she lived in the basement of a church with her family. This 2008 USA Today profile of Jones gives a revealing glimpse into the extreme poverty and setbacks she had to deal with, from a very young age. She’s overcome so many hurdles (literal and figurative) to get where she is, and she will let nothing get in her way.
Now that I know more about Jones’ past, I understand why she’s saving herself for marriage. She’s got an amazing story and I’ll be rooting for her in London this summer.
Lolo is shown in 2011 at events and competing in 2010. Credit: PRPhotos
I admire where she comes from, all those hardships, to going to the Olympics, is absolutely amazing, and worth sharing.
But for the virginity choice, I find that both extremes are hard on your emotional state: Having sex while too young is detrimental not only to your emotional health, and psychological development, but to your physical as well. And having sex too late in life because of religious beliefs, might also be quite detrimental to your psychological health.
Unless you simply think sex is for only getting pregnant, then I guess it’s ok.
Word.
I personally think it’s quite sad to see a physically healthy woman completely neglecting that side of her life. Then again, I guess you can’t miss what you’ve never had.
That said, what if she ends up marrying a man who can’t satisfy her? That’s a really big part of a marriage, and there are some guys that simply don’t have the talent or inclination to please a woman — some of them have weird notions that certain parts of the body are dirty and not to be licked, etc. — if she’s never experienced good sex, she might end up settling for mediocre sex the rest of her life because she was too inhibited and/or scared to explore before tying the knot.
Plus virginity is a “gift” that men neither expect nor necessarily appreciate unless they’re very religious or paranoid about disease. After all, most guys have already slept with at least one or more virgins in high school so it’s not like it’s even that special unless the man himself is a virgin.
The fact that she’s talking about it means that she’s not neglecting it.
Also, I can’t speak from experience here, but I would guess that people who save themselves for marriage have pretty high expectations and respect for their partners, which is probably good for sex. And it’s not like they don’t know how things work. They might even have the benefit of not trying to reenact pr0n scenes or dragging an ex’s kinks or preferences into the bedroom.
Plus, the fact tht she’s still single indicates not all virgins rush into marriage, doesn’t it?
@OlsenTriplet
You can talk about something yet still neglect it. For example, I can talk about feeding the dog but he’ll starve if I don’t actually put food in his bowl.
Sex is a natural, wonderful part of life. There’s nothing like it and, when it’s good, it’s the most awesome experience there is.
Ideally, anyone getting married — whether or not they have sex beforehand — should have high expectations and respect for their partner. As for preferences and kinks, everyone has those no matter how sexually active. We’re all wired differently, and it’s important to check if those wires are compatible.
For example, my first time was with a virgin. From the start, he liked a bit of pain with his pleasure — hickeys, love bites, etc. He didn’t get this kink from pr0n, it was just in his nature, just as I don’t particularly get off on receiving or inflicting pain.
Like I said, it’s worth exploring all that before making a lifelong commitment. (Not that marriage really is these days, but you know what I mean.)
Violet, you have put into words, with your thoughtful, intelligent post, exactly what I have thought for years about the issues surrounding women who choose to remain virgins until they are married.
I have especially thought that they are taking a risk.. in terms of.. if you’ve only “been” with one person, how do you know they are the only/the best for you?
I like knowing that I have different guys to compare to.
“Also, I can’t speak from experience here, but I would guess that people who save themselves for marriage have pretty high expectations and respect for their partners, which is probably good for sex.”
Wrong. It is actually a very bad recipe for disaster, putting all your sexual needs and emotional expectations in the hands of that magical ONE PERSON, to not disappoint you sexually, while taking care of your emotional needs.
You have sex when you are ready. When you are enough grown-up in your head to understand that you are taking this step because YOU WANT TO, and no matter what anyone says, you are ready to assume responsibility for your action.
With emotional maturity and responsibility, you are always better equipped to pick the right mate for the job, and to assume all the emotional and physical stages that would result during, and especially, after the sexual act.
To put all your expectations in the hands of someone else, is another way of saying that the female sex is weaker, and should therefore let someone else take care of her. Oh so wrong.
Never thought I’d be defending abstinence, but here I go.
“You can talk about something yet still neglect it. For example, I can talk about feeding the dog but he’ll starve if I don’t actually put food in his bowl.”
What is the solution, then? For her to go out and have sex with anyone, just to make sure she’s not neglecting her sexuality? Thinking about sex and thinking about feeding a dog aren’t like enough for that comparison.
Just as we all have different kinks, we all have different understandings of our own sexuality. Therefore I don’t think it’s fair to accuse her of neglecting her sexuality because sexuality isn’t only the act of having sex with someone. It’s a huge part of life, as you said, and much of it takes place outside the sex act itself. Someone’s sexuality is a personal quality/attribute/whatever. It isn’t defined by someone else.
“For example, my first time was with a virgin. From the start, he liked a bit of pain with his pleasure — hickeys, love bites, etc.”
This surprises me only because I don’t believe he lasted long enough to… uh… flesh this out.
“He didn’t get this kink from pr0n, it was just in his nature…”
Of course he didn’t get it from pr0n. He got it from the way he was punished as a little boy. (I was going to say I was joking there, but on second thought, I’m not sure I was.)
“I have especially thought that they are taking a risk.. in terms of.. if you’ve only ‘been’ with one person, how do you know they are the only/the best for you? I like knowing that I have different guys to compare to.”
This is all fine and dandy until you turn it around. Does that mean my husband married me just because I’m better in the sack than that slut (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, STEPHANIE IN LOUISIANA) he used to date? Gee, that makes me feel special. I’d hope he’d have married me even if I were lousy. Because he loved me. Or something. Gosh. Maybe I got the wrong guy. I mean, maybe there’s something better. Not that I’m not satisfied, but what if, you know? I have to know. Maybe I should start having affairs just in case there’s a guy who can do it better.
Why should that search have stopped at marriage?
How am I different from this girl (except talent, speed, tact etc etc)? I married a guy without REALLY knowing allllllllll my options. There are men I haven’t had sex with. Until I’ve been with them all, how can I know I made a good choice? I haven’t even met all the men in my state, much less the world. I don’t have much time. Must get busy (winkity wink wink).
“Wong. It is actually a very bad recipe for disaster, putting all your sexual needs and emotional expectations in the hands of that magical ONE PERSON, to not disappoint you sexually, while taking care of your emotional needs.”
You’re right. This is why I’m going to go dip my toe in the water that slides through the gills of all the other fish in the sea.
Wish me luck, gals.
Good luck! And don’t forget to use protection from all those nasty blistering gills 😉
But you are taking this to extremes, the driving point in this particular thread is balance. There is middle ground between Madonna and Whore. The biggest driving point is: Assume responsibility of YOUR needs, and resulting actions. Do NOT put your needs and expectations in someone else’s hands. When you take responsibility and have clarity of what you need, you will pick the time, place, AND partner.
Geez, it’s her body, her decision. Just like we all have (or will) figure out our own sex lives’, so will she. If it’s that important to her, just going ahead and getting it over with will not be satisfying for her and would probably have a detrimental affect on her view of sex in the long run. However, some people did just want to get their first time over with. It’s about choice and personal preference so there is no wrong answer, unless you go against your own feelings / values. Also, “I’ve had guys tell me … ‘Hey, you know, if you have sex, it’ll help you run faster.” — oh, boys, will you never learn?
Hahaha I must say “blistering gills” is one of the most unpleasant word pairings I’ve ever read.
Small, probably unimportant issue–the Virgin Mary was only a virgin until Jesus was born. I mean… he had brothers.
Still, I understand this idea of balance, but that also sounds like prescriptive advice. And prescriptive advice doesn’t really jive with sexuality anymore. I mean, the girl wants to get married and start having sexual experiences, but only on her terms.
Can we tell anyone that his/her sexuality is wrong?
^Not necessarily that their sexuality is wrong. But this is a site where we come to give our opinions on the subjects presented by CeleBitchy. And Lolo, under no pressure whatsoever, in an age of extreme access to information through social media, put her very personal life out there, for us to decipher.
If we can’t give opinion, than none of mine, nor yours, would ever matter, whether for or against abstinence. And most importantly, we would not be an EVOLVING society if there is no open and free exchange of information, life experience, and from my personal POV, there can be no growth out and away from religious stigma on how, as women, we should lead our lives, and take care or our bodies.
Where do these women, who from the moment they were born, were taught the “Word of God” and had saved themselves for marriage, and had ended up at the age of 30 unmarried, or divorced? Don’t you think that they would feel that “God” had somehow let them down, or is disappointed in them, and thus punishing them?
Sites like these, stretch the knowledge away from Religious power, and hopefully, these women understand that their situation is not peculiar, nor ungodly. And that there is a life outside of that oh-so-reinforced “Law of God”.
@OlsenTriplet
“What is the solution, then? For her to go out and have sex with anyone, just to make sure she’s not neglecting her sexuality?”
It’s 2012, we should get away from the madonna/whore complex. I never once implied that she should just have sex for its own sake; given her background, she would probably feel a lot more comfortable with someone she trusts and cares for.
“This surprises me only because I don’t believe he lasted long enough to… uh… flesh this out.”
I was involved with my first lover for more than three years, so I wasn’t just referring to the first time we had sex. And he did last fairly long that time, which actually wasn’t that great for me because the first half dozen times were uncomfortable for me. (Not because of anything he did or failed to do; I guess I just had a really thick hymen.) Once the initial discomfort faded, we were going at it six to eight times a night. The teens and 20s are crazy like that, and it’s a shame she’s missing out on that.
“Of course he didn’t get it from pr0n. He got it from the way he was punished as a little boy. (I was going to say I was joking there, but on second thought, I’m not sure I was.)”
A lot of people like a little pain with their pleasure; that doesn’t mean they were physically punished as children (some might have been, but he wasn’t). I didn’t say he liked to be whipped, although who knows? Maybe he’s explored this mix of sensations more extensively with subsequent lovers.
“This is all fine and dandy until you turn it around. Does that mean my husband married me just because I’m better in the sack than that slut (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, STEPHANIE IN LOUISIANA) he used to date? Gee, that makes me feel special. I’d hope he’d have married me even if I were lousy. Because he loved me. Or something.”
This comment wasn’t in response to my earlier post, but once again you’re talking extremes. I’m sure your husband values you as a person, but I very much doubt that he would’ve married you if you weren’t as good (or almost as good) as Stephanie in bed. (Unless it was a shotgun marriage, of course.) The reality is that a strong marriage requires BOTH emotional and sexual compatibility.
“How am I different from this girl (except talent, speed, tact etc etc)? I married a guy without REALLY knowing allllllllll my options. There are men I haven’t had sex with. Until I’ve been with them all, how can I know I made a good choice? I haven’t even met all the men in my state, much less the world. I don’t have much time. Must get busy (winkity wink wink).”
Once again with the madonna/whore business. I’m starting to think that Stephanie in Louisiana, AKA the slut your husband used to date, is probably a woman with a perfectly normal sex drive who’s probably only had a dozen lovers over the course of her adult life but happens to be very openminded when it comes to making her partners happy.
Everyone is different. I don’t think you have to sleep with everyone you meet in order to figure out what turns your crank, but it often helps to experiment with at least a few different people because the results can sometimes be surprising.
“Wish me luck, gals.”
Hopefully, your husband meets your sexual needs and you don’t need luck!
I know I shouldn’t keep commenting, but a dog returns to its vomit, doesn’t it?
@Maguita, sounds like your beef is with religion, which I didn’t even know we were discussing.
“Where do these women, who from the moment they were born, were taught the “Word of God” and had saved themselves for marriage, and had ended up at the age of 30 unmarried, or divorced? Don’t you think that they would feel that “God” had somehow let them down, or is disappointed in them, and thus punishing them?”
No. Because they know the choice they’re making. The sprinter/hurdler discusses this in the article.
And this might really blow your mind, but Christian women can do whatever they want. Once they pick the lock on their chastity belts and shimmy open their cell doors, get past the evil albino priests and leprous nuns, of course. The thing about Christianity is that if you fall short of the ideal, you’re in good company because everyone does, and imperfection is expected from the start. Christians don’t believe God punishes them for doing wrong. That is, more or less, the entire point of the religion–that God willingly died to accept the ultimate punishment that all people were owed for being naughty. Like it, hate it, whatever–but it’s not fair to misrepresent it. Boogeymen are always scarier in the dark; Christianity is far more nefarious when we let our minds run wild.
@Violet
“I guess I just had a really thick hymen.”
You know, I woke up this morning thinking, “I really hope someone tells me about the thickness of her hymen today.”
@Olsen, Seems to me that YOU have a very open and rather self-serving interpretation of Christianity. That you shun its rigidity is to your advantage, that you thumb your nose at the “albino priests” is a testament of your strong will.
But @Olsen, simply read through this entire post, and you would understand, that you are one of the very, very few.
A lot of women feel stronger, and more entitled, braying what their religious fathers, mothers, and priests, have drilled into them for decades. My question was more towards those, many more than you would imagine, who one day wake-up, and are either unfulfilled by what their religion had promised, or feel neglected, for what appears their religion did not meet with those promises.
Didn’t they have a moment like that? Before they became strong, before they opened the right books, before they started daring asking the right questions?
There is a precise moment, where the option of taking charge of your own life is presented to you. And the strength of your character is tested. Many people born into a very religious environment, feel fear and doubt in that moment. No matter the religious faith. But the familial support does weigh in at that moment, and might dictate their decision to stay sheep, or to break the mold and pave their own way.
And in Lolo’s case, which started this whole conversation, you can decide to take her at her word, that yes, she is very much looking to marry in order to have sex (and this is where a straightforward debate enters the equation: Why marry to have sex? Why not love and commit to have sex? Hadn’t times proven again and again that the act of marriage does not guarantee neither love nor commitment?), or
You cam play the devil’s advocate, and ask a new question: What is the point of talking so openly about her sexuality, or lack there of? Could it be a much more calculated move geared towards sponsors, and later on a career in sportscasting, a career in front of the camera, in a world much more decked for conservative figures?
Think upon this. And please, I never said you were b-tch, and I KNOW you wouldn’t call me vomit. An open debate is never ugly, but leads to better understanding of opponents’ views, which paves the way to living better within a diverse environment. If you can’t resist such a call, is more power to you and your strong self-identity.
@Maguita, I was not calling you vomit. I was calling myself an idiot for continuing this discussion.
I have read through most of the comments, and I honestly didn’t see much mention of religion at all. Certainly nothing that would make me roll my eyes.
“A lot of women feel stronger, and more entitled, braying what their religious fathers, mothers, and priests, have drilled into them for decades. My question was more towards those, many more than you would imagine, who one day wake-up, and are either unfulfilled by what their religion had promised, or feel neglected, for what appears their religion did not meet with those promises.”
This sounds like the sort of generalization that follows a bad experience. What does religion promise that disappoints these women?
“There is a precise moment, where the option of taking charge of your own life is presented to you.”
Sounds to me like this is exactly what the hurdler has done.
“Many people born into a very religious environment, feel fear and doubt in that moment. No matter the religious faith. But the familial support does weigh in at that moment, and might dictate their decision to stay sheep, or to break the mold and pave their own way.”
Christian women are free to do whatever they want. There are no men holding them captive like in some fundamentalist Mormon compound or a 13-year-old’s arranged marriage in Afghanistan. If you’re going to say that being raised in any structured morality system eliminates free will, well I can’t agree with that. Women leave Christianity every day.
Also, you’re starting from the assumption that religions are wrong by default (which is why I’m a moron for even taking the time to respond). But I’m not so sure. I’m no biblical scholar or anything, but I do know that Christianity was pretty groundbreaking on the world-religion scene, and historically it has had a civilizing effect. Since this discussion is about marriage, we’ll use that. Everyone knows that “wives submit to your husbands” line, don’t they? But it seems everyone ignores the phrase that immediately follows it, which was the new idea on the scene: “husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.” Which is a way of saying… more than yourself.
Now is the point where you tell me that Christianity couldn’t have had a civilizing effect on the world because priests molest children and the Spanish Inquisition happened.
And I understand that it’s much more in vogue to sh!t on Christianity than say a syllable in its defense. But I’ve met some really genuine, kind Christians. I’ve also met some moronic Christians that I wanted to punch in the face. I feel I owe it to the ones who were good to me (when they didn’t have to be) to not lump them all together.
And it’s certainly possible the hurdler is hoping to hurdle her way to a broadcast TV job or whatever (though I’d bet pretty much my year’s salary that she’ll be a coach once she retires), so I’ll consider that as a reason for this announcement.
But you should think of something, too. Maybe Christianity isn’t the oppressive boot on your neck you’ve built it up to be. Perhaps your encounter with it was really just an encounter with evil people perverting the real message. Investigate it. Shine some light on the things that you dislike. Think critically about ideas you disagree with. Just something to think about.
@Olsen,
You and I have clearly opposing point of views on religion, and its interpretation, to ever come to an agreement.
You hold a very differing view, of today’s North American practicing Christian, and how women are raised and treated, within the strictest form of this religion. Holding them to no sex before marriage, etc.
While I have come to believe that today’s Christians, especially in the present political climate, are not as open as you are, and not accepting of the woman’s egalitarian role in today’s society. Most notably, by holding her virginity as something of monetary/contractual value.
So let’s leave at that, and agree to disagree.
I have to admit though, this debate with you was quite invigorating, and I truly appreciate the time, and mostly respectful way, you took to bring forth your point of views.
Until the next time then, another subject, on which we may agree, or disagree, in which case I am hoping we would always agree to disagree in the most empathetic and positive manner possible.
Have a good day, and until the next time!
Her body is INSANE. Goooodness. Anywho, I give props to those who wait until they are married. I tried…and failed, lol.
ooh how I wish I had a body like that *sigh*. I watched a segment about LoLo on ESPN and admire the fact that she pushed thru all the hardships and strongly feels that her virginity is important to her. I will be watching and cheering for her this Summer.
I hope people will not judge her as it is a personal choice. After all she’s been through, she is making the best choice for her. Like she admitted, it’s not an easy choice. I admire her determination. I’ll be rooting for her too.
Probably TMI but the public get so much TMI/videos about celebrity sex lives that it is refreshing for the TMI revealed to be the polar opposite. Don’t have time to watch interview or read right now but just wanted to share my first impression.
First of all, I think whatever choices people make about their sexuality is their business.
However, the cynic in me is wonder…Is she trying to be the Female Tim Tebow? It couldn’t be lost on her that Tim Tebow’s faith and virginity have now created a business for him that didn’t exist without his speaking out about his faith.
Her body, her choice-it’s not really my business. I will root for her though.
Real Sports is an excellent show, and I catch it when I can..
I have to have a giggle at this Marie. In Australia, ‘rooting’ is slang for having sex. So if you are ‘rooting’ for her, she can remain a virgin as long as she likes 😉
Ha ha, did not know that-learn something new every day..
Shouldn’t announce it – Jessica Simpson anyone? She made such a big deal about it. Then gets divorced and bangs a lot of men and now has had a baby out of wedlock.
Bingo!
On a smaller scale, like those who say they are proud of being big and beautiful, but a year later had shed half their weight.
Some things, are just not meant to be shared in this day and age of extreme social media access.
Yes, I agree with you. It’s her choice. But you don’t need to let the whole world know about it. There are things that better left private EVEN in this time and age.
I get the feeling she shared because she’s still single and felt the need to explain.
She doesn’t seem like a Jessica Simian (oops) saccharine sweet daddy’s-little-girl type.
I watched the episode, and I did not see the need to share whether she was sexually driven or not. If she was ever sexually intimate or not… It seemed quite unnecessary.
There are times when you can tell someone it is none of their business. And you can say it with even more aplomb when you are a 29-year-old competitor.
As for the virginity issue, reading through the comments, I realize that as women we still tend to marginalize other women even worst than men do: Either the Madonna, or the Whore. Still no in-between, even in 2012.
Not reassuring at all.
I think it is TMI but in this instance may be a good idea because people who make unusual decisions like this may feel alone and appreciate hearing someone else talk about it.
I love pointing out that Jess got knocked up. Nothing personal against her, just her brand of my religion.
I don’t think this girl is Jessica Simpson. She is older and smarter and she also doesn’t have much time to date with the training and she is not into one night stands or casual hook-ups.
Kudos to her. Her body, her choice. I went through med school a virgin & I can tell you it was by far harder than studying for any exams. I have since remedied the situation though *wink*
IT does seem like TMI, but if she was asked. I agree with a previous poster, given all the smuttiness we usually see on TV, this is refreshing to hear. She doesn’t seem at all sanctimonious about it, this is something chose for HERSELF. So good for her. Always good to hear about people making informed decisions about their personal sex life — whether to use precautions or hold off entirely.
It’s nice to see people here being respectful. I hate ‘slut’ shaming and I hate ‘prude’ shaming. It’s her choice, that’s that.
there is so much sex talk so i think her talking about not having sex isnt too personal.
there are quite some people out there who are virgins and not by choice. we tolerate so many different ways of life and sexuality but those people are ridiculed.
i just have the feeling there isnt a real sexual freedom. the public pressure just moved from “sex only in marriage” to “as much partners as possible”.
i have deep respect for people who make that choice but more for people because they made a choice and not beacuse their religion tells them so.
You said exactly what I was thinking reading the post…
Itd be awful being an athlete in this day and age simply because of hi quality freeze frames like those ones up there :-$
Are you kidding? Those freeze frames show a strong beautiful athlete in the middle of her performance – awesome!
I think if she were 18 then yeah she might be tempted to rush into marriage to have sex, but she’s 29. I think she’ll be ok. Also it’s not like like you have to be completely unsexual to save yourself for marriage. Mutual manual stimulation works well enough especially if not having sex is important to you.
Hoho, we are getting technical! 😉
Wouldn’t that be the problem though? Opening yourself for intrusive questions on your definition of virginity?
Wouldn’t that be cutting it too close to:
“I did not have sexual relations with this woman”?
please…women guarding and then giving away their virginity like it is some precious gift??? ugh.
I don’t know, I think it’s sweet. Plus it’s easier to educate a decent human being in the carnal arts than it is to stop a great f**k from being a total douchebag out of the bedroom!
This is the problem-women bashing other women. What difference does it make to you if that is how she sees her virginity? Does it have any effect on you whatsoever? The subject of sex sucks. Seems like you’re damned either way.
Agree. Also could be this scenario: she waited throughout her teen/young adult years to find someone who she felt comfortable enough to have sex with. That never happened, she just never found the right person. Now that she’s older, she’s waited this long, why not wait until you meet the perfect person? It might not have been as deliberate as “I’m saving myself”. I don’t see why that’s wrong/harmful. People chose different paths when it comes to their own sexual experiences.
it is not a simple case of women bashing other women. i feel the same way toward tim tebow.
just because i am the same gender as another, it does not mean i have to share their opinions, ideas, or beliefs…or that i have to automatically support them.
obviously, i do not share the same belief on this topic.
Yeah, she should give her husband the gift of a woman who is experienced and capable in the sack; and who doesn’t stain the sheets the first time they do it.
She’s an athlete. She’s done hurdles, etc. Seriously, hymens break all the time, real fact. Besides, stains can wash out.
Stains??? I’m utterly virginity clueless. I broke my hymen with a tampon at 13. Boy did that hurt. Obviously any spillage was hidden.
I don’t believe you have to share the same beliefs but acting as it it offends you? You went about it in a very ugly way. It seems very bash-y towards women who make this decision. Personally, I would rather see someone saving it rather than throwing it away.
You’re the one who acts like you were personnally offended. Jackie’s first reaction was rather ironic and funny.
totally agree.
LOL Jackie!
It will take decades before, even us women, lose what had been ingrained in our behavioral thinking for centuries:
That the woman gifts the man with her hymen, and the man gifts her right back with his protection and earthly possessions.
Because if we look at it more honestly, it is no more a gift than a burden. A burden of societal and religious expectations.
Hopefully soon enough, women would understand that they have as many choices as men: either wait for someone special to get close to, or have sex just for the sake of it and get rid of that uncomfortable first time.
+1
Does Tebow offend you equally? If not that comment is horribly sexist.
Shut up you slut! Lol.
“‘Hey, you know, if you have sex, it’ll help you run faster.’ ” Ugh guys are so full of Sh*t.
Guys do that because they get laid that way. thats the sad truth.
It comes down to this: not every cancer victim is going to cycle the Tour de France, but they can be inspired by Lance to stay strong. And not every gay person will publickly come out … not every kid will say no to drugs/alcohol every time … not every girl will have a perfect self esteem every day and eat in psychologically healthy ways at every meal … and not every unmarried person will always be a virgin. But if someone wants to try to make good choices or do the right thing (whatever that means to them), thank God for people like Lolo and Lance and my sister and that one actor and the kid down the street whose examples they can look to for encouragement to get them through one more day.
So you’re not a virgin on your wedding day at 34. But maybe because of Lolo or someone like her, you made it out of high school with a diploma instead of a baby or an STD. That’s not what I would call failure. I don’t think Lolo would, either.
ITA! Lolo seems warm and real; there’s nothing wrong with sharing that she’s holding herself for someone who deserves her. I find it refreshing and believe it most certainly can be a role model for young women to put off casual sex and wait for a healthy, mutual relationship.
I was the opposite, but now find being with my husband of 13 years more satisfying than all my good times. Ultimately, it’s every woman’s individual choice so why shouldn’t we have the spectrum of sexual choices public instead of who’s canoodling with who 24/7?
29? 20 more, and she can go straight from virgin to menopause. Come on Jones! you can do it!
LOL 🙂
29? Mind. Boggled. Her body, her choice, but I admit, I think it’s odd she has not experienced sexual intimacy on that level at her age. Also? Is she like one of these women who equates virginity with vaginal sex only? Because that’s totally where my mind went.
I’m with Jackie.
This story just reinforces my opinion that almost every outstanding sportsman has a tough life story behind him/her. You can’t get THAT level of dedication out of a normal life.
Speaking of sex and sport…well, in the 70s-80s, in the socialist countries, young sportswomen were encouraged to get pregnant by the time of major competitions since the body resources are at its highest at the very early term. Accordingly, later on they were encouraged to get an abortion. Most of girls never had any relationships until they were done with sports — to compete at the highest level, it was virtually impossible to do anything except for training, plus they lived at segregated facilities since they were 9-10 y.o., and there was no interaction with the opposite gender. So, it was not uncommon for coaches and sports’ doctors to provide help with pregnancies. Yup, it’s disgusting. But it was just one of many many sacrifices that they had to endure.
If we’re getting technical, studies have also shown that if a woman has sex before a competition, with good cuddling afterwards, she would perform best to impress.
If a man has sex within 18 hours before a competition, he would be drained and feel too relaxed, no brutish hormonal surge to compete.
Oh really, just 18 hours for men? They surely used to believe it’s more like 18 days in sports teams 😉 (married to someone who was on national team). So, it might be a recent discovery 😉
Technically 18, but I think more coaches want to really build on that brute aggressiveness that gives abstinent sportsmen more strength and concentrated frustration.
It also very much depends on the sport. Not the same for drivers.
“encouraged” is maybe the wrong word. most of the cases they didnt have a choice.
I too think it’s great she is saying this in our age where the more sex, the better. Great role model for girls! Never let others pressure you!
If she is a runner, why the incredible upper body? WOW!!
You just had to read between the lines in why she’s going public:
“Tebow, give me a call!”
haha. That would be too cute, IMO.
You are brilliant!
Honestly, it’s very possible that she is having more orgasms than those of us who are hitting the hard one a few times a week. It all depends. I had my first ‘gasm as a young teen years and years before I ever did the nasty for the first time. Sorry if this is TMI but just saying…it’s worth pointing out..
I’m all for saving it if you can, but 29 just seems to scream “issues.”
I think she is really beautiful, so it does not scream that nobody wants her. But yes, unfortunately, 29 most likely does imply some other issues…
Being a virgin at any age doesn’t necessarily scream “issues” (at least not to me, as a psychologist.) Do some women hold onto their virginity as a shield? Yes, of course. And yes, there are many women who are virgins who have “issues.” But for a lot of women (and men) it’s simply a life choice they have made and there is nothing wrong with that choice. Society has gone so far the other way from the sexual mores of old that now it’s almost taboo to be a virgin. Sad, really, how a choice to remain a virgin can be so marginalized.
I don’t think that’s necessarily true. Sometimes you hold off on sex and you can end up a 30 year old virgin, it happens. I’ll say it…I’m 27 and a virgin and I thought I was a weirdo and recently questioning my choice or circumstance but Lolo makes me feel a little less weird. As someone stated above being too young or too old may be too much but at least it’s my choice. If for some reasons I started to feel extremely bad about it I would talk to a professional or trusted friend. But for now it’s okay with me, more than okay. I also think so many of the comments on here are thoughtful and smart concerning the topic, even the criticisms!
Good for you, sister! Althought I wouldn’t trade my son for the world, I definitely wish I would have focused on my goals instead of getting caught up in the lust of sex, boys, relationshits.
I don’t know if ‘relationshits’ was a typo, but I hope it isn’t. Doesn’t matter, it’s mine, now.
I’m a 29-year old virgin, definitely by choice and not happenstance. We’re not weirdos. We’re a little unusual, but so what? I decided a long time ago that I never wanted to date someone who would pressure me into having sex or make it a requirement of the relationship–I’ve definitely had guys who chose not to date me for that reason, but I’ve also had guys (and have a guy currently) who respect it. They’ve maybe not been thrilled with it, but they respect it.
And it’s definitely been a good way to avoid the guys who are only after one thing. Saved me a lot of heartaches.
I married at 30 and was a virgin – as was my husband. We both decided for many reasons – a strong one was religious btw. We wound up spending our dating days getting to know each other, talking to each other, and finding out if we like the same things (oh yes and lots of kissing and cuddling too!). When we finally married we learned about sex together and since we were friends as well as lovers, we had a sense of humor about it too (it’s not brain surgery after all, people have been doing it forever!) We have been married many years now and are very happy and faithful to each other and to our religious faith (Catholic).
We never worried whether we were weird or strange or fit in with whatever the current hip way to be was. We figured that traditional morality had long years of tradition behind it for a reason. I don’t condemn others, but I’m glad I went my own way.
@Alexa: the “traditional morality”, you’re refering to, occured in society where girls were married at the age of 14 or 15 years old. And were seen as “goods” (hence the importance of virginity)
I’m talking about the traditional morality which my mother and father, grandparents, great grandparents etc. etc., practiced. They were (or at least aspired to be – I was not in their bedrooms) virgins upon their marriage. (Men too!) The men respected their wives (and they did too – I knew them and saw how they treated them.) They did not regard them as “goods”, but as respectable women and the mothers of their children. They were also faithful husbands and wives. That is a good tradition to belong to and aspire to.
I disagree. I think that all it says is she’s been extremely focused on her athletic careers goals instead of seeking out personal/sexual relationships. I’m 32 and probably have just as many friends who are single as friends that are in committed relationships. Most of my single friends are single because they’re more interested in their schooling/career then finding a relationship right now.
My high school band director was very similar to Lolo Jones. He was a former Olympic athlete in track and field (high jump) who then became a professionl musician/band director. He was also still a virgin in his 30s. He wasn’t one to brag about it–just matter-of-fact. After spending years focused on school and his careers of choice he got married around 36. I don’t see aything wrong with their choices at all.
I think Lolo should give Tebow a call!
She and Tim Tebow should bump awkward uglies
Tim Tebow and her should get married and FINALLY DO IT!
LMAO those two pics are PRICELESS!
No big deal! Good for her to do something she believes in even though society practically frowns on it.
Good for her. Her childhood was really, really rough and it seems like she came through pretty well.
I’ll be rooting for her at the 2012 Olympics, especially since at the 2008 Olympics she was favored to win the hurdles event, but tripped over the hurdles and faceplanted onto the ground. It was uncomfortable to watch as the camera zoomed in on her near-hysterical sobbing. I hope she can put that bad memory behind her this summer.
I know, I was thinking the same thing. I hope she doesn’t have a mental block about it and that she can actually finish the event this time. Geaux Lolo!!
Oh, I get it. It’s like those so-called ‘feminists’ who rattle on and on about ‘a woman’s choice’ but pitch a fit if a woman decides she wants to be a stay at home mom. So, it’s her life, her choice, her body, belief, career and desire– right up until she qualifies as a Bedlam patient because she didn’t get on her back at your command. Get off HER back. Why would this offend you? Was there one sour or judgemental word in her statements? She’s doing great things with her life, she’s not a figure or pity or scorn. The woman is going to the Olympics but even if she snags a gold medal she’ll always be a loser because she didn’t experiment in school? Ladies, what the fun run? I strongly believe that we can do what we want with our bodies, tell me I’m not the only one to do so.
Living in a manner that’s anathema to Jones’ works for a lot of women, but don’t pretend that it’s inherently nobler and more evolved or that your choice is the only choice. Because that might end up people deciding to map out a person’s pathology and find it wanting because she’s not *supposed* live differently from you and yet she defied you. That’s crazy.
The only path that a truly free, modern and intelligent woman can walk is one that betrays her personal convictions as a show of good faith to people who aren’t watching, free will be damned? When did Johns Hopkins release that finding?
You make your choices, she’ll make hers, both are valid as are the reasons behind them. The End.
If I could upvote this 100 times, I would.
PERFECTION. We can just delete the other comments now because Jo pretty much said it all, and more succinctly and eloquently than most of us could.
Right on.
Brilliant..
I’m sitting next you you..feel free to speak for the both of us.
Yes! Thank you!!
Agree! Let her make her own choices and society shouldn’t be her judge. Women’s rights includes making your own sexual decisions, including celibacy.
I think I love you for this statement.
“It’s something, a gift I want to give my husband,”
“‘If you marry me,’ she quips on the show, ‘then yeah.'”
These quotes sum up my entire problem with waiting for marriage. Sex is as much about self-exploration as it is about sharing it with someone you feel safe with. If you treat it as something you give to someone else, you aren’t really preparing yourself to enjoy sex on your own terms.
What if the guy she marries does something that makes her uncomfortable? What if he even takes advantage of her inexperience? I’ve read stories like that all the time, especially with women who were virgins who went into strict religious marriages. If she treats it like a “gift” she’s giving, she wont be in the mindset to choose what she wants, and she certainly wont have the experience to know what is normal and what is not.
Also, the whole “If you marry me” thing bothers me. I thought people married each other, not one person choosing to marry someone while the other person just gets to be grateful that they were chosen.
That being said, she sounds like a really brave girl, and I’m excited to see her in the Olympics.
You bring up a lot of interesting points but the problem is that there are SO many “ifs” in your post. What IF she finds an amazing guy who values her for who she is, virgin or not being irrelevant? What IF she finds someone who makes her feel safe, comfortable, and loved? What IF she meets the right person for her, the physical chemistry is great, and sex is spectacular right off the bat? What IF she gets married and is happy as hell that she waited because it made her first experience more special than any of us non-virgins could imagine? I mean, the bottom line is that it’s a personal choice right? We do what feels right for OURSELVES. You and I might both be happy that we had our fun before we settled down (I know I am!) and not regret a thing but we also might have been very happy if we had waited. Who knows?
That’s a good point, I actually have no idea if she will find the right guy and will have a happy life. But I think the thing that disturbs me is that given the circumstances she is setting herself up to be taken advantage of in some ways, whether or not the guy she marries be the jagoff that does take advantage of her.
Here’s an example. If I wanted to study for a final, I wouldn’t have someone else read their notes to me as my way of studying. The person who is reading them could be a genius, but the risk of failing the test is too great to not study with my own materials and with my own strategies as well as with their’s.
I don’t think any woman should put them self in a potentially emotionally or physically damaging situation and then put all their chips on the hope that the guy that they pick (or that picks them, coming from her words) wont abuse their vulnerable state. The guy she marries “could” be a prince. But her lack of sexual knowledge and misunderstanding of what it should mean to lose her virginity says to me that the system she has in place could also let in complete jerks, posing as princes.
Also, even if he isn’t a jerk, he may like things that she doesn’t, and since sex with him is a “gift” she gave to him, she is more likely to not communicate her own needs or be ready to ascertain what they even are.
For instance, the guy I lost my virginity to was a great guy. He also wanted to try something in bed that I wasn’t, and am still not, comfortable with. We broke up before that became a thing, but if I had married him first I would have felt obligated down the road to try something I wasn’t comfortable with, dismissing my own concerns as just a lack of experience. Matching up sexually is such a huge part of a marriage, and I would hate to see a woman struggle with that more than they have to.
Well I definitely agree about a couple having to match up sexually in order for a relationship to work and I can see how virgin/player could be problematic. I also agree that Lolo Jones, given her past history seems like someone who could be in a vulnerable position. But I just want to say (and this is not really in response to your post but other posts on this thread) that there are women who are sexually assertive and often times a woman can be in control of her sexuality even before they have sex for the first time. I’ve always felt like I had the choice to have sex with whoever I wanted to and to say no to whoever I DIDN’T want to. I never felt used by a guy if he didn’t call the next day mainly because I was using him back and I was aware of the situation. My point being that women are not always sexual victims and we don’t have to be. I think I’ve always felt in control of my sexual prowess mainly because I waited until I was 21 and in a solid relationship plus I grew up in a tight-knit family with very involved, loving parents. I never was emotionally damaged, never had a warped or uncomfortabe view of sex and never used sex as a bartering chip/tool to manipulate. *shrugs*
@Sarah, “What if the guy she marries does something that makes her uncomfortable? What if he even takes advantage of her inexperience?” –I think you are assuming she knows nothing about sex (or that she’s never seen a porn, etc.) or being a virgin equates to being submissive but you don’t know that maybe her and any possible future husband might speak in detail about sex and what they are comfortable with trying prior to getting married.
“Also, the whole “If you marry me” thing bothers me. I thought people married each other, not one person choosing to marry someone while the other person just gets to be grateful that they were chosen.” — A quip is almost like a joke, she was trying to be witty; not serious.
I really like that black dress she is wearing in the first picture. I also believe that when she does finally marry, it’ll be a marriage that lasts for a life time. Good for her.
Her body. Her choice. Not a big deal.
Whether you choose to be married before you have sex – so be it.
Whether you choose to have sex with 100 people before you are 25 – so be it.
It’s your business…. however, I will NEVER UNDERSTAND the need to broadcast your PERSONAL CHOICES publically.
Why is her sexual activity/or inactivity even relevant to her story as an ATHLETE.?!
I don’t know if it’s TMI. Not having sex and banging on about sex are two different things.
Wow, as a 29-year old who’s waiting for marriage, I’m appalled at the women on here who are judging the choice. This has been DIFFICULT. It would have been so much easier for me in the dating world if I was sexually active. Personally, I thought that I’d be married long before age 29 and it wouldn’t be such a long wait. Now, I’m not going to give it up when I’m in the homestretch.
I don’t care if other women have-gasp!-pre-marital sex, just like they shouldn’t care that I (and Lolo and others) don’t. Saying that she should just go ahead and do it or get it over with is disrespectful to her personal choice. Just because some people think that she’s missing out on something doesn’t mean that she agrees.
I’m a 30 year old virgin and it’s not a big deal. I just don’t go yell about it from the top of any mountain. I find that a bit crass.
For me it isn’t about saving myself for marriage but waiting for the right guy to enter my life and making the mutal decision that we want to be intimate. It would be great to be in an amazing relationship where I can share myself with someone I love but it hasn’t happened yet. I don’t stress over it and don’t let it define me.
I just wish that older virgins wouldn’t be deemed “weird” or as having “issues”. Sometimes we just get busy with our lives and have yet to meet someone we want to have sex with. It isn’t about waiting for “The One” but for a man or woman who makes us feel comfortable, loved, and respected.
Simply yet beautifully stated @brendapie.
I must admit, the notion of saving yourself for marriage gets my hackles up. Why for marriage, why not for love? Why not for commitment? We are quite aware in today’s world that marriage never guarantees any of those things. It bothers me that women are still waiting to exchange their bodies, the access to their sex, for a ring and signed piece of paper. As if those are worth you getting naked with some man.
No matter what you say though, people are still divided on the issue. And in this particular situation (Lolo), yes, she gave too much information that we did not need to know, and in the same breath, she also states that it has become some sort of a hardship for her, in meeting men, in dating casually, etc.
Which brings me to a question I have for you, if you don’t mind me asking.
In regards to your age, do you feel that after so long, you DON’T NEED to have sex anymore, in comparison to the crazy hormonal teenage and young adult years?
It’s complicated because I have very little dating experience. When I was a teenager dating my first boyfriend we could spend hours making out in his bed and it was thrilling and exhilarating. And I met a lot of guys in college that I thought I could be in a serious relationship with and have sex with, but they never worked out. Not having the option to have sex (casual sex isn’t for me) pretty much kills most of the desire for it.
Now I pretty much only get the physical urge once or twice a month a week or so before my period comes. It doesn’t mean I don’t think about it the rest of the month; it crosses my mind at least once a day. But the actual physical urges and restlessness don’t happen all too often.
In the last few months I’ve been ignoring the urges altogether and now the physical urges are subsiding. So I guess to answer your question, I don’t feel like I NEED to have sex. When I was 21 just the mere thought of it was enough to get me flushed in the face but now it’s like meh, whatever.
Thank you for your honesty Brendapie.
I love how you simply state that casual sex is not for you. It is not for me either, but at the same time, I do not begrudge women who are into it. I do believe it is a prejudice, and we as women, have already more than enough of our share.
I used to say that my vagina is attached to my soul, and that is why I cannot have casual sex, but now I understand that I need to be “in like” with a man, before taking that step. And saying so was just a mean stupid way of saying women who do go for casual sex, have no souls. But hey, you grow up!
Why I asked you that question? (And please believe that I do not want you to feel threatened, nor insulted, in any way or shape!)
With age, you become less courageous, taking less chances, looking for more stability, liking change less and less. And one of those changes pertain to your body. You freeze your body’s needs out of the equation, and build up walls between yourself and the possibility of intimacy, simply so you go through less change, and most importantly, incur less hurt and disappointment.
It is the loss of that connection with your womanhood. Which needs to be stimulated for many health reasons: Heart and blood circulation, oxygenation to the brain, estrogen release (contributing factor to a healthier heart in women, as well as lower risks in osteoporosis and Alzheimer), bladder control with age, skin, etc.
I am sparing you here the benefits of intimacy with another human being.
My point is, with age, comes intellectual decision-making, less follow your gut, more follow your brain. And with losing your gut feeling, well, you lose your courage at a chance at love. Because you are a lot more calculating, and in general, don’t suffer bullshiters easily.
So, does age make you more perceptive for true love and intimacy, or does it make you more fearful of taking that step?
I am speaking from experience btw, and I can honestly say that taking that step 1- is so freaking hard, and 2 – yes, it does help you take charge of your feminine body. Like I’ve stated in my first comment in this thread, too young is too much, and too old, is just not enough.
@Brendapie…your body/your choice. Good for you!
virgin or sleep around ho…a person has to be able to look in the mirror at the end of the day and be content with what they see. Abstaining from anything keeps your body safer from harm, but some people are just more risk takers then others!
hi-five!
Nothing wrong with that, but TMI …its personal. I’m sure that she did not want to derail her aspirations of being a world class athlete by getting distracted by sex. Good for her.
Way to personal. Some things are meant to be private. Why is she dicussing her sex life with the public? Bizarre.
I think if a celebrity or athlete can come out publicly as gay, then there’s nothing bizarre about her talking about her sexuality as well. She didn’t go into detail about what she does to pleasure herself, so I don’t know why it would be gross for anyone to hear that she has decided to stay a virgin until marriage.
I completely respect her values.
And she should meet Tim Tebow!!
yep, trolling for Tebow!
I’d love to see her at least go on a date with Tim Tebow, they seem like they could be a great match.
I was given the best sex advice when I was a (college age) teenager.
From a really funny female family friend. Who was in her early 40’s at the time.
Now granted it was her personal bias opinion. But it was spot on brutal advice.
Never have sex before you are 21. Because girls have sex for love when we are young and young men have it to get off.
That it is mentally devastating to have loved some 19 year old boy. Who was using you for sex.
Plus he will tell everyone he knows, that he had shagged and dumped you.
And no one under the age of 21 is prepared to have to live with that.
Sadly most young girls lack the ability to realize, that men are users when sex is involve.
That is because we were “in love”. And he was “in lust”.
I need to point out that she also insisted to never marry before you are 21. That a girl matures so much between 18 and 21. And you will out grow a young marriage quickly.
And it is important to take vacations with your friends! Travel. Get the hell out of the county that you grew up in. And see something fun with your best friends.
The best time to decide to have sex for the first time.
When you realize you are completely “in lust”. That you seriously want to see that man with his pants off.
Be it on your wedding night. Or before.
That it is better to take him out on a test drive, before you start accepting any kind of ring from him.
Mostly because… there are a lot of men out there that don’t know… what they are doing. And if the sex is bad early on. It will always be bad.
And if you think it was bad. It was. Don’t hype your self into thinking it was your fault. Talk to your friends.
Ohhhh and normally the best looking man in the room. Really sucks at sex.
And that is because he knows he doesn’t have to put any effort into getting laid. hahahaha! They are lazy f*cks, so don’t bother with them. 🙂
For me. I waited till I was over 21 and out of college. And I knew the moment I saw him… I was going to have to see him with his pants off!
And it was worth the wait.
She says she has to work to maintain her virginity which is crazy. Praising someone for being a virgin is like praising someone for being anorexic and not eating. Sex in a basic human desire like eating. It is not taboo.
and choosing to NOT have sex isn’t taboo either.
Sex is completely natural. She has the desire to have sex because she says the hardest thing she has done it trying to stay a virgin. Why choose not to have sex when it is enjoyable and healthy?
The only problem I see here is that now she won’t be left alone about it. She’s just created a source of misery for herself.
I know right! Bad play. Now in every interview they are going to ask if she’s still a virgin. When she’s going to decline answering they are going to lambast her but SHE put that info out there.
WHY?!
This would be info that you should share ONLY with your closest friends…maybe. Not the whole darn world.
Food for thought though: Lolo + Tebow = athletic terminator, lol.
Um, Lezbe honest right here… Apart from the fact that she most likely is a total lesbian, not that there is anything wrong with that, where is she looking for men to date? Because if she wanted to find a good religious hard working man who would wait on her she can!! It sounds like she is up in the club looking for potential husbands! I’m sorry, she doesn’t sound like she is interested in sex with men at all.
How slanderous and shallow your post is.
She is a Christian woman. To say you pretty much assume her to be a lesbian because of the points made in this post/interview, is just absolutely wrong and off-putting.
Well there is an hypocritical line of thought, if I’ve ever seen worse one.
Since when being a lesbian does not equal being Christian?
Jaana may be a tad scathing about her assessment, it does have merit, and a clear connection to why one woman, at 29, living in our part of the world, still remains a virgin. It bears considering, and it would never in a million years be slanderous of her upstanding moral OR RELIGIOUS values.
It would even get her closer to Jesus being accepting of her own true nature, as well as accepting of others’ diversity! Now THAT, would be a true Christian!
Hello Ms Wannabe (I really like your name btw) all I am saying is that something seems fishy about her! I’m so glad you pointed out that she is a christian. Where else do you go to find a nice, loving husband who shares her beliefs, wait for her and marry her! The church! So why has she found it so hard? She has her own money so it isn’t like she will be at a man’s mercy. I just don’t think she wants to be intimate with men, and she being a christian the bible speaks of unequal yolk, so where is she looking to meet men? *she isnt*
The RS segment explains Jones very well. She hardly comes across as overtly religious in the Tebow sense. Her choice is more related to the chaos and abuse in her upbringing with the extreme poverty and the violent felon dad. Her virginity was like the only autonomy she had.
I admire LOLOS discipline . I was a virgin till i was almost 22 years old. Even my parents did not believe i was sexually active–because of my physique. I was a runner as well, had men stalking me because they would see me in the local newspaper.(The police had an ongoing investigation for four years.) I waited, and it was the right decision for me. MANY of my beautiful, educated friends became sterile because of contracted sexual diseases. Of course, the young men denied responsibility, while my friends were suffering. And, most of these men were horrible in bed…selfish and crass. I am glad I did not waste myself on cads, and have two healthy children + a husband who is grateful he did not marry a slut. And, my hubby says i am amazing in bed. I ask him what he likes, and fulfill him. He does the same for me. I feel sex is easy; day to day stress + raising children is the most challenging aspect of a relationship.
TMI but she was asked about it, her life, her body, her choice.
TMI bitch!
I am SO tired of everyone worried about everyone else’s personal business. WHY do people need to announce their personal stuff????? Makes me SICK!
I think it’s great! I wish I had waited until marriage. I know a lot of women like to take a car out for a “test drive”
I guess I tested the wrong cars, because I feel like I was missing nothing haha!
Plus, I got married at 19, so it would’ve been a lot easier than 29.
And the line the guy gave her was ridiculous!
She is beautiful and talented. Without critiquing her personal choices, I will say that I hope she finds the right guy!
Judging from the comments, I didn’t know that being a virgin at almost 30 is supposed to be shameful.
Hardworking woman who has no time for dating coz she’s too busy giving her country an honor says she’s a virgin and everyone is shocked. Geez!
Oops, this was meant as a reply not a new comment. Have put it in the proper place.
Her body, her choice.
sadly some of these comments bother me, woman used to be(and still are) ridiculed if they never married or married at an old age and now their pretty much ridiculed if they don’t have sex at whatever age others deem appropiate? At 17 i was famously teased at school for being a virgin and i find it interesting how society’s view on sexuality has drastically changed…anyway kudos to her both on her choices and life accomplishments
off topic but did anyone else notice how incredible her teeth are? lol
What is the opposite of “slut-shaming”, “virgin-shaming”? I have read some of the comments here and I think it’s pretty sad some of you are judging this woman (and looking down upon) her choice to “give” her virginity to her husband. What an earth is wrong with that? I hear people support gay marriage (me too) but we shame a woman for remaining a virgin. What the hell. It’s all good to have an opinion, we are entitled to one. Oh, the mind boggles on how far we have come but we still remain intolerant, judgmental and close minded. Lolo should be applauded from her achievements.
I can’t comprehend being a virgin at 29, I feel like it would put such pressure on a relationship. It’s marriage or nothing – how do you just enjoy a new relationship?
Does she really think she’s going to find a decent husband on Twitter?
Not really sure why this is TMI in the age of TMI. Sex is beautiful and complex and all aspects should be discussed from virginity to shades of grey and everything in between. How can the lack of sex be TMI in this hypersexual age.
i don’t understand why adult women who are virgins feel the need to share this tmi with us. do they want a medal for waiting out or something? it’s internalized misogyny too, they think they are purer than other ladies i guess. you’d never hear a man confess to being a virgin, oh no. men would be ridiculed as they are provoked to be womanizers and women are pressured to go without fulfilling their human needs in our still very misogynistic times.
Given the hypersexual media young girls are exposed to these days, I think she’s offering a positive alternative. Maybe a bit extreme, but there’s a lot to be said for sending a message about honoring your body and sexuality. I for one am happy she’s being open about her virginity and, in so doing, can be a role model for girls who feel weird or pressured about waiting “too long” for sex.
I don’t want nor need to know who someone is sleeping with. That goes for their sexuality as well as if they are a virgin or not.
Her virginity is an extremely private topic. Is she going to then announce when she’s lost it?
Too much information, in my opinion.
Why are Americans obsessed with virginity? If she chooses to wait till she’s married to have sex, fine. If you choose not to wait also fine. But why go on and on and on? Or announce it to the world? Before people leap to the defence and say Americans aren’t obsessed with virginity etc the fact she feels its pertinent enough to share on a show which is ostensibly about her sporting achievements shows that she is aware of an interest in the topic…such an odd culture.
I am asexual virgin and much older than 29 – I have no interest toward sex. TMI? Well, not really, in this discussion…
Thats a brilliant and bold decision you”ve taken. Ride on dear and you’d get a man who respects, adores and cherishes you.