Paris Hilton thinks owning a bunch of pets qualifies her for motherhood

Word is that Paris Hilton wants her own convenient accessory children to tote around for the paparazzi that follow her. That way, she can mix it up and won’t have to keep switching friends to get coverage.

The partying heiress says that hanging around with her new best friend, Britney Spears, and Spears’ two tykes has made her want to reproduce.

“It’s been my dream to have four babies by 30,” the 25-year-old heiress announced, reports Life & Style Weekly. And Hilton thinks she’s highly qualified for motherhood, explaining: “I look after animals, so I’d have a lot to give my kids.”

In fact, looking after kiddies has become so appealing to Hilton that she recently cut short a night out with Spears, announcing to friends, “We’re going home to the babies. We miss them.”

Since when is Paris a competent pet owner? She complained about having to take a limo with her many pets for a six hour drive when an airplane barred her from bringing her goat on a plane. In news that was likely fabricated, she was also said to want a baby kangaroo too, but was discouraged from buying one when she was told they can grow up to be violent animals. She even had a monkey taken away from her after it bit her repeatedly.

She would make a fabulous parent. She should call up Madonna and ask for tips on how to fast-track an adoption of the cutest kid available by mail order. With Britney as her role model for motherhood, is it any wonder she thinks it’s a good idea?

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9 Responses to “Paris Hilton thinks owning a bunch of pets qualifies her for motherhood”

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  1. Bex says:

    Please dear Lord, nooo!!

  2. Flea says:

    Babies are such a convenient accessory these days. Convenient to make and convenient to forget about when you’re tired of them.

    More people need to be nonbreeders.

  3. Someone says:

    As a mother of a 3-year-old with special needs, I can’t believe Paris thinks that having children is like having a pet. STUPID. She has NO IDEA what it’s like to be a mother. Then again, if she ever did have children you know she’d get a nanny to care for them and she’d only make appearances when she wanted to play with them or pose for pics. I hope she’s infertile.

  4. Poor Boopie says:

    Someone is right. She would just hire nannies to take care of her kids and probably would never touch a dirty diaper, puke, snot and other bodily excrements that young children and babies frequently project. Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, isn’t it Paris? Once she got a taste of morning sickness, swollen feet, belly, and breasts, not to mention a body that doesn’t bounce back to what if was before pregnancy – Paris would be wishing she’d never got knocked up.

  5. Kaonashi says:

    Oh hell, I hope this thing NEVER has children. For her to compare children to pets shows how incredibly stupid she is. I have a kitten, and no way do I think taking care of her “prepares” me for motherhood.

    If by some horrible fate she actually has a child, he or she will end up like these poor animals- as items for Parisite to pose with.

  6. Viv says:

    When her kid shits on the floor, she’d probably smack it with a rolled up newspaper, cuz that’s how Paris rolls; the kid’ll probably be joining the monkey soon after that.

  7. Viv says:

    Sorry for my grievous spelling of “’cause”… sometimes I get lazy.

  8. Toubrouk says:

    Let’s get the news right here: Paris Hilton thinks she qualifies for something? Since she appeared on tv screen, she proven that she is an abymmisal failiure on everything she does. Why children should be different?

    Let’s hope she don’t breed…Or take a trip in Africa…

  9. AC says:

    Um… 4 babies by 30? Do the math lady, thats impossible now.