Kirstie Alley on her favorite men: “My dad, my son, L. Ron Hubbard & Woody Allen”


The Enquirer has been running stories for a while about how Kirstie Alley has been gaining the weight back. If it was someone else, someone who didn’t make an issue out of their weight at every turn, we might just shrug and say it happens. Kirstie has made a whole business out of marketing expensive magic weight loss juice and vitamins, so it’s fair to point out when the stuff she’s selling isn’t working for her. Plus, she’s a Scientologist and a defensive one at that. I’m enjoying watching that whole house of cards go down.

Well Kirstie has been gaining some weight back, and The Enquirer claims it’s because she’s been busy writing a book – a book that’s called The Art of Men (I Prefer Mine Al Dente). It’s not out until November, and the Amazon product description explains that it’s a memoir, not a self help book a la Jennifer Love Hewitt. Kirstie frames her life experiences in terms of the men who have influenced her.

I found a couple of interviews with Kirstie promoting the book, and she says it’s racier than 50 Shades. She also lists Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard as one of the top three men who have shaped her life.

What prompted you to write a memoir about the men in your life?
It dawned on me that 98% of the influences in my life involve men. I’ve lived a pretty wild life throughout business and personal, and I wanted to share the good, the bad, and the ugly so that my readers can find humor in their own lives, and have certainty that they can survive anything, except a direct hit from an F6 tornado.

Who are some of the favorite men in your life?
My dad and my son are at the top of the list, L. Ron Hubbard, Woody Allen, the cast and directors/producers of Cheers, Jonathan Knight, Santa Claus, and baby Jesus.

Anything you’d like to say to folks who are obsessed with your weight gains and losses?
Are there people like that?

What would you like readers to get out of your book?
A good laugh and accurate data. I guess a view of the world according to Kirstie.

You’re so busy—when did you find time to write about your love life?
In between shagging.

Is there a man who changed your life in a good way?
The highest percentage of the men that I speak of in my book have changed my life for the better.

Any man who changed your life in a bad way?
Put it this way: I have had saints, sinners, and demons as lovers. One in particular, whom I fondly refer to as “Satan incarnate,” makes Christian Grey look like Johnny Appleseed. Read all about it!

Alley… compared her book favorably to the publishing punch line du jour, Fifty Shades of Grey: “I’m not here to one-up another author but you know, I didn’t find it very factual. I lived with a guy for three years who made Christian Grey look like Justin Bieber. [Christian] didn’t even pee on her. He didn’t choke her or try to suffocate her … If it’s S&M you’re looking for, then you will like my book.”

[From Publisher’s Weekly and Vulture]

I don’t know about Kirstie. I find it rich that she’s like “people care about my weight?” when she’s talked about it for years and now has a weight loss product she’s selling on QVC. So now she’s got a book out focusing on men. I’m more interested to know how the Scientology celebrities are handling the huge scandals with their bigwigs like Travolta and Tom Cruise. They’ve all got to be running scared now. Kirstie is BFFs with Kelly Preston, do you think she buys Travolta’s story that all these men are out to extor him, or does she know what’s up? She may be brainwashed, but she doesn’t strike me as that gullible.

Photo credit: WENN.com

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48 Responses to “Kirstie Alley on her favorite men: “My dad, my son, L. Ron Hubbard & Woody Allen””

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  1. Zvonk says:

    This woman loves to talk about things she has no clue about. First weight loss, and now men.

    • Rhea says:

      I want to hear her opinion regarding Tom and Katie. Especially the part “Katie’s running away from Tom and Scientology because she wants the best for her daughter”. Should be more interesting.

    • Onyx XV says:

      @Zvonk: LOL! My thoughts exactly.

    • Jane says:

      Zvonk, EXACTLY! Who, in their right mind, who take advice from her. She is delusional and I am not surprised she is drinking the kool aid over CoS.

      • dallasite40 says:

        She built a COS temple in Wichita, Kansas, her and my hometown. She’s been knee deep in that crap for 25 or so years.

    • leelee says:

      Kirstie is exactly like one of those desperate, attention-whore loser characters she seems to have played recently. So, if someone writes a bestseller about being peed on and choked is she going to one up them like the loser she is and talk about how she let Jamie Foxx take a dump on her and choke her til she was clinically dead? If people like Kirstie and Tom are examples of Scientologists at their peak, one can only shudder in horror.

  2. mary simon says:

    L.Ron Hubbard and Woody Allen, her favorite men? No wonder she’s such a mess.

  3. NerdMomma says:

    I didn’t think it was possible for me to dislike her even more, but now I do. Wow.

    • Hahahaha says:

      +1
      I came here to say exactly that.

      • gg says:

        Same here. Do not like!

        My best friend was lured to the co$ centre in LA and Kirstie was stationed in the hotel room on the other side of the wall from her. She couldn’t get any sleep because Kirstie stayed up all night long, past 3:00 a.m., bla-bla-bla very loudly and kept her up. My friend phoned the desk to please speak to her but nothing happened. Color me surprised …

  4. cam says:

    she doesnt strike me as gullible either. The opposite actually. I think she’s a bit cunning and would do anything to stay “in-touch” the A-list and important crowd in hollywood. Let’s face it, she has nothing going for her anymore, except for the “big-time” hollywood friendships she has. Most of them Scientologists. Of course she’s going to say L. Ron Hubbard is one of her fave men, because it not only let’s all other xenu lovers think she’s highly devoted to them, but also puts her in the headlines, because she knows if she mentions that shit people are gonna think she’s crazy and will want to discuss it. Bravo to her, ’cause it worked.

    • dallasite40 says:

      Again, she is knee deep in COS. She built a church for it in her hometown. If you don’t find that gullible, I don’t know what is. She is disgusting in person.

  5. ORLY says:

    L. Ron Hubbard and Woody Allen? Girl done lost her mind.

  6. Lissa says:

    Maybe this is a horrible thing for me to say but why doesn’t someone (a paparazzo) just steal some Scientology tapes? Maybe it well help some people break free from Scientology and REALLY show them for what they are. I’m Catholic and I wouldn’t want anyone to hear me during confession to my priest. But what the scienos are doing is NOT a form of confession (it gives me the creeps that I’ve seen some people try and compare the two) And our confessions certainly aren’t taped.

    Maybe the Toms, Kirsties, and Travoltas won’t be soo beholden to the cult if their stuff is leaked. Maybe that will help ‘blow’ Scientology.

    • Pat Dorty says:

      Lissa, there’s all sorts of stuff out there on “The Church”. I agree about the confessions, they call them audits. From what I’ve read from big time defectors they record and video the big stars audits. I bet that’s why they’re so reluctant to leave once they’re in there, they don’t want it leadked to the press. You should watch a video about the daughter of the president of Australia’s church. She outlines all sorts of the church’s abuse of children down under, its heart breaking.

    • Katija says:

      I’m Jewish, and honestly, when I heard about auditing, I just thought, “oh, it’s like confession.”

      But if I’m right here… confession is just admitting your sins, and then the priest asks you to pray over a rosary a certain number of times… right? He doesn’t like, reply or speculate or advise?

      Plus I know it’s totally anonymous… I think CoS loonies like, film and keep a record of auditing, right? Effing evil, man.

      • Lissa says:

        I would say that a Priest can counsel or comfort but, yes, generally it’s about you cleansing yourself of a burden in away. They don’t pass judgement and the things you discuss are not always major or anything. There are mortal sins and venial sins.

        Technically, you only need to go to confession once or twice a year and you’re good. No one would know if you didn’t go, and yes, at the end you pray using the rosary (some Hail Marys and Our Fathers.)

        Honestly, I’m not the best Catholic because I’ve only done confession once or twice since my First Communion. But I’m going to reacquaint myself with my faith because there are a lot of beautiful things about it as I believe there are to be in Judaism as well. 🙂

      • Emily says:

        Auditing isn’t anything like confession. (Or therapy, which it’s also been compared to.)

        First, you hold a couple tin cans hooked up to a thingamajig that’s supposed to be all science-y. People have called it a “crude lie detector,” but frankly, I think that’s giving it way too much credit. Second, they record everything, and they can and will use it against you — they’ve done it before and will do it again. Third, the auditor drills you with certain inane and weird questions over and over and over again until the needle appears to be “floating”. You’re stuck there until the auditor hears what they want to hear. With this treatment, people end up fantasizing about past lives and abuse and weirdness, and often believing in their own fantasies.

        The most important thing about auditing is this: it’s not there to help people. It’s there to replace people’s personalities and thought processes with those of a Scientologist. Scientologists have difficulty even communicating with people outside the cult because they use strange language and their thought processes seem so skewed. The real person is still there, they’re just been smothered temporarily by L. Ron Hubbardese and cult thinking.

        Oh, also, you have to pay for auditing. And it is expensive.

      • gg says:

        Also, a priest has no particular interest in grilling you. Confession is about being willing to speak about yourself of your own free will, not them having to wear you down for hours so it can be drug out of you in grueling sessions, and the priest does not chastise you for your transgressions, he tells you how to ask for forgiveness for your spirit.

  7. Pat Dorty says:

    What happened to Johnny T.? I thought they were besties! I guess now that it’s looking more and more like he might really be gay she had to do as XENU (Ailien) tells her and not to associate with gays.

  8. Pat Dorty says:

    Once she makes it to the next level and rids her body of all of the alien souls in it the pounds will fall off! As you can probably tell I’ve read up about Scientology over the weekend to see what its about and it is really, really weird.

  9. RHONYC says:

    man!

    she was one of the 80s sitcom’s great beauties. 🙁

  10. Katija says:

    Is it sad that I am really enjoying watching public Scientologists break down? Since their money and influence has funded an evil organization that has no joke brainwashed people out of their life savings and actually may have caused a few deaths and broken apart many families?

    I like… legitimately want Kirstie to crash and burn more. I want her to get so fat that she gets a Discovery Health special. Like, the kind with a scene where they fill an entire banquet table with food and someone in a somber voice says in the voice-over: “This is what Kirstie eats in one day.”

    • anon33 says:

      Nope, I’m right there with you. I literally yelled “OMG THIS SH*T IS FINALLY GOING DOWN!!” when the story broke. My husband thinks I’ve lost it :).

  11. pau says:

    I have an irrational dislike for this woman. For me, scientologists get automatic point deductions in likability. I can’t help it. Boggles my mind

  12. Paula says:

    I can’t stand him either for some reason. I hear she (him) use to be a man.

  13. Francesca says:

    Let’s see her in her underwear again. I think it’s time…

  14. Jay says:

    A positive PR attempt for Hubbard and his legacy… Is this timing coincidental or intentional? I realise the book had to have been in the works a while, but still the timing and content of PR can be changed.

  15. Samigirl says:

    Ya know, if my mom came out with a book about her (supposedly true) sexploits, I’d want to throw up. I have a similar want when it comes to this woman.

    • GreenTurtle says:

      Ugh, she comes off as so desperate in comparing her past partners to the 50 shades of douche guy. Look at me! I’m relevant! I had lots of the sex, just like you! Is her chin seceding from her jowls?

      • gg says:

        If she’s going to stay heavy, I think she might benefit from just giving in and having some plastic surgery. As tired as I am of seeing thin women with battleship boobs and balloon faces from fillers, some other people just need a tug or they’re kinda scary.

  16. skuddles says:

    Woody Allen and Ron L Hubbard?? I’ve just lost every shred of respect for Alley.

  17. Jordan says:

    If this interview is any indication, all her book is, is her throwing out sarcastic bits and pieces that she thinks are clever but don’t really mean anything. And comparing her book to 50 shades of grey is just baiting for big sales, not that she thinks her book is written any better. 50 shades cashed in on the Twilight franchise and Kirstie is trying to cash in on the 50 shades franchise.

  18. Emily says:

    Kirstie is best friends with Lisa Marie Presley, who just left the cult. I wonder what’s going on there.

    Also, L. Ron Hubbard and Woody Allen? Wow. Might as well say, “what I really appreciate in a man is that he’s a narcissistic, abusive creep.”

  19. GIrlyGirl says:

    I’m surprised Chef Boy-ar-dee didn’t make the list.

  20. Lisa says:

    Ooh, girl. Don’t make me hate you.

  21. Lisa says:

    She looks like Lilo in the printed dress.

  22. crtb says:

    Woody Allen? ewwwwwwwwwww!

  23. Kim says:

    Besides her son and dad her favorite men menrioned are 2 psychotic pedophiles. She is a nut!

  24. Synamin says:

    Weight? I wouldn’t worry about weight, I’d be trying to figure out why my face seems to be sliding off.

  25. mayamae says:

    Saying “baby Jesus” is very sarcastic since Scientology does not believe in him.

    I’ve always wondered why her cult can’t cure her obesity since it amazingly cured her cocaine addiction.

    Are we supposed to be titillated by the thought of her being peed on? She’s absolutely disgusting.

    • TrustMeOnThis says:

      Probably because you can only cure one or the other. The cocaine addiction was the diet plan she can’t market!

  26. Sunnyjyl says:

    I’ll probably flip through her book as she can usually make me guffaw out loud. She may be a bit looney, but I find her quite funny.

    John Travolta wanted to marry/have a relationship with Kirstie (don’t remember which, now), and she turned him down to marry Parker Stevenson. I think she does know what his proclivities are.