Enquirer: Jennifer Aniston’s mom is telling everybody that Jen’s preggo

As I predicted, at least one tabloid is going with a “Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux got engaged because she’s pregnant” storyline. The Enquirer is using those photos of Aniston looking food-baby-ish to somehow “prove” their story too. To the Enquirer’s credit, however, the way this story is framed actually made me question my insistence that JustJen’s engagement is not the precursor to a shotgun wedding. The Enquirer’s source on this is a “friend” close to Nancy Aniston, Jennifer’s mother. Nancy and Jennifer were estranged for years and years, for good reason – Jennifer’s mom wrote a really weird, crazy book about Jennifer, trying to profit from Jennifer’s early success on Friends. Well, Nancy and Jennifer eventually buried the hatchet, and now Nancy is telling people that Jennifer is knocked up and planning a shotgun wedding in Mexico. Thanks, mom.

Hot on the heels of Jennifer Aniston’s surprise engagement to Justin Theroux, her mom Nancy Dow dropped a bombshell – she’s going to be a grandmother!

“Nancy said that Jen’s pregnant and that she and Justin would have a wedding soon in Mexico. She’s so beside herself over the news that she couldn’t resist spilling the beans,” said an insider. “Only a few days after Jen confirmed she and Justin are engaged, Nancy squealed to a few friends and family members, ‘I can’t wait – I’m finally going to be a grandmother!’”

An insider says, “Jennifer and Justin are throwing together a shotgun wedding. They plan to tie the knot in one of Jen’s favorite vacation locales, a beach in Mexico, and they’re going to do it before the end of the year. Nancy said that Jen doesn’t want to be showing too much on her wedding day.”

Months after Nancy suffered a stroke in September 2011, Jennifer promised her recovering mom a bundle of joy was coming soon. And while Jennifer banned her mom from her splashy, star-studded 2000 wedding to Brad Pitt, Nancy will be an honored guest at Jennifer and Justin’s nuptials, said the source.

“Justin has been instrumental in smoothing over relations between Jen and Nancy,” said the insider. “He even calls Nancy once a week to see how she’s feeling. He always tells her, ‘Jennifer loves you so much, and so do I.’ Jen knows that her mom’s health is deteriorating. So she’s thrilled to be sharing her wedding and baby happiness with her. Nike Nancy told her friends, ‘A grandchild is the best gift a grown child can give their mother.’”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

“A grandchild is the best gift a grown child can give their mother” – God, that made me feel bad about myself. I try to be a good daughter, and I thought my mom was happy with the amethyst earrings I gave her for Christmas, but apparently I was supposed to give her a grandchild too. Ugh, I hate womb-shaming. As for this story… God knows. Whatever. The part that I really don’t buy is that Justin has suddenly become Mr. Let’s-Spend-More-Time-With-Your-Moms. That seems… out of character.

In Touch Weekly also has a decent JustJen story, this one about the alleged prenup. The Enquirer had a prenup story last week – which was basically about Jennifer knowing that she has a bad history with men, so she wanted to protect her assets. In Touch’s story basically says some of the same stuff, only their insiders say Jennifer’s advisors are really pushing her to protect her assets, and Justin is all for it. A “friend of Jen” says, “Justin wants her to feel protected. Justin has never been after Jennifer’s money.” Sure. The insider also gushes that Jennifer “feels so secure” with Justin and “he’ll do anything to make her comfortable.” I’ll say this – I don’t think Justin is in this relationship to marry Jen, divorce her and get a big payout. He’s not Casper Smart, for God’s sake. Justin is in it (partially) for the bigger prize: to be a part of a Hollywood power couple, to build up his career, etc.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, PCN.

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116 Responses to “Enquirer: Jennifer Aniston’s mom is telling everybody that Jen’s preggo”

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  1. KellyinSeattle says:

    I really hate it when she makes that chimp face…with the colour of her hair, reminds of of the old apes on the original Planet of the Apes. How would her mom know? I thought they didn’t even speak. And most of all, who cares? She’s been “pregnant” for as many years as she’s been around.

    • Macey says:

      Her chimp/duck faces she makes annoy me too. not sure why ppl think thats attractive or even cute. she even did that in one of her prof. pics with Justin. Just looks dumb to me.

      As far as the baby thing…*yawn* (for the millionth time this story has been reported). who really cares if she has a baby or not? not going to effect anyone’s life but hers. I always knew i didnt want kids, just not for me.
      I never get into the baby debates or speculations b/c i just dont find them that interesting but it amazing me how much debate the Jen’s baby womb stories brings out, even more so considering how many times these stories gets published. I think Jen has probably had more phony pregnancy stories than any celeb out there.

      • Molly says:

        Jen’s mom used to tell Aniston she wasn’t pretty. Her mom used to be a model. Then she sold her daughter out. Very, very low.

      • Anon says:

        Yeah..cigarettes, pot smoking, coke and male hormones to stay thin combined with ‘Friends’ and filming six movies back to back might have affected her from carrying one of those “messy kids”.
        Movies and real life tend to blur sometimes.

    • ramie says:

      She looks TERRIBLE & frumpy as hell! (I don’t care if it’s for a role.) Plus, if she wanted a child she would’ve had one a decade ago when Brad wanted one. In my opinion, she shouldn’t have a baby in her 40′s. Too many risks.

      • Sol says:

        When she was with Brad she tried and i believe she suffered a miscarriage.

      • Brendah says:

        Sol, no, she definitely did NOT have a miscarriage. That was a tabloid lie that Jen and Brad both rebutted. It was all bs from a tabloid.

    • HulaHoop says:

      I also thought that she was estranged from her mother. Even if she was pregnant, her mom would probably be one of the last people to know. I don’t think she wants kids and I’m really tired of the media trying to make it out like she’s dying to procreate just because she has ovaries and a uterus.

    • JudyK says:

      Also sick of the chimp face. She must think she looks cute. So stupid; so juvenile; so “Friends” era. Ick.

  2. manly says:

    i want to see her blue eyed baby.just like her eyes.hehehehe

    • Greta6 says:

      @manly good luck with that lol, as you do know she wears blue contact lenses(wink) natural eye colur is brown shock horror.

  3. valleymiss says:

    She’s what, 43? Not impossible, but really, really difficult. I don’t buy it.

    I DO think Jen does want to be a mom, but I think she’ll go the Sandra Bullock/Sheryl Crow route and adopt 1 child. My theory is that she didn’t want kids with Brad because she wanted to concentrate on her career…but now that she’s kinda too old to do the romantic comedy thing, she’s going to segue into parenthood via adoption. She didn’t want kids when Brad wanted ‘em, and she didn’t want 6 kids like Brad apparently wanted. Yep, that’s my theory. :-)

    • jc126 says:

      Not so difficult for some (my mom had me, naturally, at 43, and my SIL had her daughter at 43 (presumably with fertility help), but I just don’t believe Jennifer Aniston wants kids. Which is totally fine of course – having kids does NOT make you a better person than those who don’t, and knowing what you really want in life is important. But look at the evidence: Jennifer Aniston was married before, is a millionaire, and has been so for years. She had tons of time to have kids and has not. It’s not like she couldn’t afford them.

      • mayamae says:

        My friend just gave birth at 43 without fertility help. She is higher risk – overweight, etc. She does have one previous child.

        It’s not impossible with all of Jen’s money. The more likely route is invitro with a donor egg. Noone needs to know she used a donor egg. It’s speculated that most Hollywood women having babies 40 and older use donor eggs.

      • Girlattorney says:

        Accidentally pregnant at 40 here–with a friend who got accidentally pregnant at FORTY-NINE. No joke. (The doctor kept telling her no, it’s menopause, and she was like, I don’t think so….) Both babies are healthy and beautiful. But obviously we were outliers.

    • bns says:

      I don’t think she wants kids at all, but keeps stringing everyone along instead of being honest about it for some odd reason. There’s nothing wrong with a woman not wanting children. I don’t want any, myself.

    • Becky1 says:

      I agree with your theory, Valleymiss(:

  4. mln76 says:

    Considering her mother didn’t even know that she was engaged I doubt she’d be trusted with pregnancy info. Also it was rumored that Aniston refused to pay her mother’s medical bills so yeah I really, really strongly doubt that she would be in the inner circle.
    My feeling is that IF and that’s a big if she has a baby it will be through surrogacy or adoption. But I just don’t see Justin as the daddy type and I think Aniston has always been on the fence about having kids too or else with her resources she would have a kid with or without a man (sorry thems the facts). Ironically I think the reason is the venomous relationship she has with her mother.

    • valleymiss says:

      The thing about how Jen’s always had the resources to have a kid…well, yes. But, maybe she doesn’t want to be a single mom. Who cares if she’s rich? She might really be against the idea of a baby only having 1 parent. I personally would never have a baby if it didn’t have a dad in the picture. I have many friends who are single moms and it’s an incredibly tough job (not just financially, but emotionally). Yes, totally rewarding, but very tough. I’ve kind of decided at this point in my life that being able to afford to have a baby on my own isn’t really the point – the point is for me, I’d like the kid to have more than 1 perspective, a Good Cop and a Bad Cop (lol), and I’d like to be able to hand the child off to his/her dad when I was up to my ears in diapers. Sure, Jen could hire a nanny, but it’s not the same. Maybe now she’s open to the idea of babies because Justin’s in the picture.

      To all the single moms on Celebitchy, I applaud you and I hope you understand that I admire you and I would be too scared to do your job because I know how hard you work!

      • diana says:

        I m not judging you or trying to argue with you.
        But I have a genuine question.
        Why do all Jen’s fans always always project her onto themselves? For eg, many of the fan posts contain ‘I would do the same’ or ‘I fully understand why she did that’ or ‘I know of a friend who had triplets at 50′ making everything Jennifer Aniston does personal?
        I’d really like to know why women relate with her so much when there are better rolemodels out there.
        Again, I don’t hate you or Jennifer Aniston,

      • KellyinSeattle says:

        Hi ValleyMiss…I agree with you….I’m a single mom but I’m lucky because dad is in the picture, and a very good dad. I, too, wouldn’t want to have a child all by myself, though Jen’s not by herself now. I’m old fashioned; I’m old school and know I’m going to get reamed for this, but I believe in a marriage commitment before kids. Kind of opposite of Octomom. For the child’s best interests. Not judging anyone, just sayin’ how it is for me.

      • mln76 says:

        The only thing is that when she was in a traditional marriage she pretty publicly balked at kids like Hamlet….The woman obviously has issues surrounding this maybe she’s ready now. But my gut says that she just doesn’t want to admit that she doesn’t really want kids and has a huge amount of guilt, ambivalence surrounding it. Again look at her acrimonious relationship with her mother .

      • lizbet says:

        @Diana, I am not a Jen fan or stan, but I think what you’re referring to happens with or without celebrity gossip involved. It is hardly specific to Jennifer Aniston fans. Everyone relates to the world through the lens of their own experiences, and I can easily envision anyone saying the same thing about an older, well-off friend who has not yet had kids.

      • valleymiss says:

        Reply to Diana: first off, when you frame your question in that way (logical, explanatory, and not snotty), I totally understand and I appreciate you asking in a polite way. :-) In answer to your question, well…I’d never really thought about it before but once you asked it kinda forced me to think about it.

        I guess for me, I feel like I “grew up” with Jen. I was 20 when “Friends” started, and 30 when it ended. The show really resonated with me (getting careers and romances off the ground) and Rachel was my favorite female character. No, I didn’t grow up spoiled, but I enjoyed watching the Rachel character arc. In real life, I didn’t think much about Jen’s life until she got dumped by Brad. I think that every woman who’s been left for someone younger, hotter, and more “exciting” can relate. So, in a nutshell, that’s why. :-)

      • GrandPoobah says:

        diana: You say there are better role models, which is true, but I don’t think relating to someone makes them a role model.

        I think everyone likes to know that they aren’t alone in their personal experiences.

        I don’t think women see her as a role model so much as they see her as someone who they can relate to on some level.

        I see role models as someone you aspire to be, not someone you relate to.

      • Brendah says:

        Actually, Jen has said she has no problems with having a child on her own. Remember when she did that movie ‘The Switch’ and got into an argument with Bill O’Reilly? (Aniston, 41 and single, celebrated the fact that women “don’t have to settle with a man just to have that child,” prompting O’Reilly to call her comments “destructive to our society.”) She made it more than clear she is in favor of single women using IVF to get pregnant and raise a child on their own.
        Oh, and you said that women sympathize with her for being dumped. You refuse to acknowledge the truth that, in fact, she was no more dumped, than Brad himself was. As you said, she chose a career over her husband and marriage. That was a choice for her, therefore she wasn’t dumped, on the contrary. As we all know now, there was no affair, so how do you come at the belief that she was ‘dumped’, when she clearly was not?

    • diana says:

      Come on… She is ‘America’s sweetheart’. Venomous relationships and vindictiveness are so below her.
      And I agree with Kaiser. Some relationships happen to create families whereas some for power coupling.
      I really do pity this woman – she has got a fan following which projects their dreams and desires onto this hapless person. Get engaged to an intellectual, rich and thin guy? Check. Romantic wedding with subtle undertones of how true love really happens? Check. Baby hanging in the sky waiting to be born? Check.
      I do congratulate her for having such power and owning her fans – although I abhor the means she employed.

    • MrsBPitt says:

      Didnt Jen make a comment about not needing two parents, when she made that movie with Jason Bateman (can’t think of the name of it)…cause it caused a little grumble from traditionalist…so if she said that, I’m sure that she wasn’t waiting for the perfect guy to have a baby with…SHE DOES NOT WANT KIDS! That is fine…no problem…and with some of the horrible parents I see, I wish more people would make this same decision…

    • Emma - the JP Lover says:

      I don’t really believe this story. Nancy Dow has a son (or two?) from another marriage, so has she ‘really’ been desperately waiting to be a grandmother?

      And Jen left Los Angeles after her one mandatory visit to see her mother (so she wouldn’t have to do it again). So I don’t buy Justin calling Nancy every day to say how much he and Jen lover her.

    • GrandPoobah says:

      mln76: Where was it rumored that she wasn’t paying her mother’s medical bills? Are you just throwing some terrible fake rumor out there to see if it sticks?

      EDIT: “…or else with her resources she would have a kid with or without a man (sorry thems the facts)”

      Sorry, not factual.

      She has said she isn’t interested in being a single mother. Even given her resources, she wouldn’t have had kids without a decent father for them around.

      • mln76 says:

        Blind gossip / gawker ran a blind weeks after her moms stroke she was the top guess hence my use of the word RUMOUR. Considering their history I can’t say I think she’s obligated.

      • Brendah says:

        “Are you just throwing some terrible fake rumor out there to see if it sticks?”
        Isn’t that the height of hypocrisy, since that is what Jen fans have been doing for 7 years with all their outrageous lies, conspiracy theories and smear?
        “She has said she isn’t interested in being a single mother.”
        Sorry, not factual. Jennifer herself during The Switch said it was a good idea and she wouldn’t have a problem with having a baby as a single mom, she herself said she doesn’t think a father is needed. So Jen herself contradicted you.

      • GrandPoobah says:

        Brendah: “Isn’t that the height of hypocrisy, since that is what Jen fans have been doing for 7 years with all their outrageous lies, conspiracy theories and smear?”

        No, it isn’t, because I don’t do that. I’m a fan of Jennifer’s but I have never started or proliferated a nasty rumor about any other celebrities. It might be hypocritical if I did that, but since I do not, zero hypocrisy.

  5. Thea says:

    First her moms name is Nancy Dow. Not Aniston.

  6. I just never bought her insistence that she wanted a baby and it would happen one day etc…
    I really respect women who are strong enough to come out and say that children aren’t for them. I do get that so many people can be ridiculously judgmental about such things, but staying in the closet (so to speak) on issues like this just further ingrains the accepted stereotypes for women.
    I loved Zooey Deschanel even more when she came out recently and said that she loved being an aunt but always knew that that would be enough for her. And if anyone’s interested, Elizabeth Gilbert (she of ‘Eat Pray Love’ fame) wrote a book called ‘Committed’ which is all about marriage, and in that she writes about women who don’t want kids and how she always feels like she has to explain and justify her decision. It’s well worth reading. (Also for her awesome arguments for gay marriage!)

    • Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

      Great post – more women being open and honest about not wanting children would be beneficial to the younger generation as well – as opposed to being on “bump watch” in this overly populated planet. Thanks for the book recommendation :)

  7. samira25 says:

    I’m sure there will be dozens of “I know somebody who gave birth to triplets at 50 naturally” stories but I find extremely unlikely that Jennifer is pregnant. More than anything her lifestyle. I think she would take all of the precautions not to get pregnant. I don’t find her to be a mothering type.

    • Monica says:

      girl dont you know its common for women in their 40′s to have babies, i see so many jen fans saying “well such and such had a baby at 45″ i believe the chances of having a baby is like 5% in reality

      • paranormalgirl says:

        “At 40 your chance of conceiving within a year of beginning to try is about 40 to 50 percent, compared to a woman in her mid-30s, who has a 75 percent chance. By age 43, a woman’s chance of pregnancy plummets to 1 or 2 percent.” (babycenter.com)

        So yeah, not impossible, but improbable without donor eggs.

      • Trashaddict says:

        Well, as a 52 y/o mother of a nearly 9 year-old, I have advice for you ladies: if you really don’t want children, don’t go on those statistics! Go with a nice condom, maybe the morning-after pill in your mimosa the next day…..

  8. Kim says:

    So she told her mother she was pregnant but didn’t tell her she was engaged before telling People magazine Alrighty

    • Rhea says:

      LOL. Yeah, sometimes I’m shaking my head. Why can’t the tabloids making at least a decent—although it’s probably BS—story anymore??? :D

  9. sukienow says:

    her mother sure loves to talk to the press lol

    celebuzz has a new interview with nancy first hubby before john aniston.

    and the dude was rather negative about his ex wife:

    Melick was married to Aniston’s mother Nancy Dow in the late 1950s before she married legendary soap opera actor John Aniston, 79.

    “She’s a woman who alienated a lot of people,” Melick said of his ex-wife, who suffered a stroke in 2011.

    “She’s now up and about,” he added.

    “The last word I got was that she still has a slight shuffle when she walks, but she’s home from rehab and doing well.

    “When she first went into the hospital, Jennifer and her boyfriend went to visit, so they’re not totally estranged. But they’re not close friends, either.


    • CG says:

      I just read that celebuzz interview. That’s hilarious that her brother thinks this relationship will work because Justin isn’t as famous as she is. LOL!

  10. Shitler says:

    Nancy go take your meds

  11. sukienow says:

    kaiser there isnt anything strange or out of character about theroux advising for a smooth relationship with her mother.

    (not saying i believe the NE story)

    but theroux is very close to his own mother. in her book and some articles she has written she mentions their close relationship

  12. Bailey says:

    Her mother totally sucks.

  13. lisa2 says:

    She is 43.. Yes she can still get pregnant. It is possible. but for many women that don’t really spend time with children having a baby or small child around at that point in your life is a HUGH CHANGE. I don’t see it happening.

    I know her fans love to say they don’t care and she is happy go lucky and shouldn’t cloud her life with a bunch of kids.. but reading KNOWN fan sites the minute they see anything that looks like a bump.. well all that goes out the window. She has probably been on some kind of birth control for a long time. And like it or not that makes a difference. Pregnancy at any age is not a given. I don’t get why people think that because it is Jennifer Aniston those biological facts go out the window.

    But we all know that is not the narrative.

  14. epiphany says:

    First of all, if the woman didn’t even know her daughter was engaged, I doubt very much she was privy to pregnancy knowledge – I call bull on that aspect.
    Secondly, it is possible that when Aniston was married to Pitt she was enamored with the idea of motherhood – it does sound nice in theory. When ‘Friends’ came to an end, however, and she had to face the reality of motherhood, vs the possibility of movie stardom which was being dangled in front of her, she chose the latter. Pitt already had that in spades, so he was more than ready to be a dad. What we do know about Jen is that she loves the attention – so she chose the rom-com road instead of diaper duty.

  15. Maritza says:

    Throw away those boots Justin! As for Jennifer being pregnant, I don’t believe it!

  16. spinner says:

    I highly doubt this ‘story’ is true. I don’t think Nancy would insert her foot in her mouth again after what has happened previously. We all knew the pregnancy stories would surface like clockwork. I prefer to wait & see what happens. Not going to let the rags dictate the ‘story’ for me.

    • Liza Jane says:

      My father had a stroke about 6 years before he died,also happened to a close older friend, both of them recovered but lost the ability to disseminate between what they should or should not declare
      to others . Sometimes that was very funny and sometimes TMI.. Maybe Nancy has said something ,maybe not, but don’t assume she did it from malice, the brain does not fire on all synapses after a stroke. She may have been a poor mother but she deserves some compassion now as she has had a rotten time recently. Jen should realize that flawed or not, she only has one mother and as she herself ages it looks less attractive that she holds this grudge! It does not make her like able at all

  17. lucy2 says:

    I don’t know if it’s true, but if her mother is blabbing to the tabloids, that’s sad, and more insight into why they’re not close.
    Regardless of their “track record with men”, anyone with those assets should get a pre-nup.

  18. LadyJane says:

    I think she and Justin will probably adopt. I don’t see her getting pregnant – I think Jen’s body is her temple. But who knows? I wish them well.

  19. RHONYC says:

    oh, poo!

    even if it were true that she were preggers…isn’t Jen is a bit too old to be referred to as a shotgun bride???

    isn’t the phrase ‘shotgun wedding’ reserved for young girls practically out of high school who get knocked up & forcefully hitched *ahem*Solange*ahem*.

    she’s a grown a*s woman & if she wants to have a baby then get hitched, whatevs…its her life. ;-)

  20. Sirsnarksalot says:

    He’s so happy to be Papped he’s practically giggling in those photos. And if they won’t trust the engagement news to her mom they sure as hell wouldn’t trust her with baby news. People are just grasping trying to figure out why this engagement came out of left field with no ring and no one close knowing what’s going on. There is no baby and there will never be a baby for Jen because that’s not what she wants. Plus they’re too vain to handle a child.

    • CG says:

      I know, right???? God, what a douche. JA is ridiculously wealthy and has a great body, so she could have a lot of guys in Hollywood. I can’t believe *this* is the a-hole she’s ending up with.

    • Eve says:

      He’s so happy to be Papped he’s practically giggling in those photos.

      I was about to post something like that. He can barely contain himself.

      • Greta6 says:

        @Eve he’s got that ABBA song going on in his head “MONEY MONEY MONEY” no wonder he can’t contain himself by showing his nashers..

    • MrsBPitt says:

      I thought the very same thing as soon as I saw these pics of JT smiling like the cat who swallowed the canary…He LOVES the fame…I know JA fans keep saying that JT was successful before being with JA, but when was he ever papped just walking the streets…NOBODY cared until he became Mr. Jen Anniston!

  21. Melissa says:

    oooh – I really want to see the back of Justin’s “Supreme” hat? What does it say – douche? tool? famewhore?

    • Moby says:

      @Melissa under that hat its says “I am a massive Tool out for all the molaha i can get from my sugar mama” no wonder he cant wipe that smug grin off his face he hasnt spent a dime on getting a ring, in the meanwhile she is hiding her hand with the non -existant ring drama.

  22. ki09 says:

    Does she think that facial expression in the first pic is attractive? She is constantly doing a stupid duck face in pics/photo shoots! It is like she wants us to think she has big lips! Wonder why…hahhhahah

    It just emphasizes how bad her features are. That muppet nose, jay leno chin and non existent lips make for one homely face without good lighting.

  23. RobN says:

    The great thing about pregnancy rumors is that you don’t have to wait long to find out if they’re true. You can sit here and argue about getting pregnant at 43 and everybody’s got a different take on it, or you can just sit around and see if she grows a large bump that seems to contain a child.

  24. Aria says:

    Please, someone could briefly explain me what happened between Jennifer and her mother. I would really appreciate it.

    • RobN says:

      Mom was constantly blabbing private details of Jennifer’s life to the tabloids back when Friend’s had just started, and was generally seen as trying to cash in on her daughter’s fame. Then she wrote a tell all book, without Jennifer’s ok, about their relationship and claimed it was an attempt to heal the rift. Apparently Jennifer got to a point where she wouldn’t see Mom cause every meeting ended up in a tabloid report and a bunch of years went by where they didn’t speak. It’s gotten better in recent years but I don’t think they’re especially close.

  25. Dinah says:

    The combination of the photo and headline made me laugh aloud!

    • Sugar says:

      the picture of her & Johnny Depp on my screen side by side made me laugh. they both seem to have been caught in a pensive moment ;)

  26. Liberty says:

    JT: Philip Seymour Hoffman, drench me in the cool bath of your wisdom?

    PSH: My son, you are troubled. Let us stroll the streets of the Village, which never fails to soothe our native souls.

    JT: It’s majorly awesome of you to be here for me before the release of your movie. I wish you Wanderlust times a bajillion huge, my dude!

    PSH: Thank you. So, you have found a life partner, but, still no smile? Talk to me. Confess. It will be good for you. Ring payments? Vag tattoo? Pre-nup? Ah – perhaps, your impending rumoured fatherhood?

    JT: No, we ordered it two weeks ago and it can Ray Romano me into sitcoms. Anyway, Chels’s the father. Master, it is….this. For like, years, I’ve dreamt of a New York winter wedding. Snow falling strikingly upon my dark lashes and the black wavelets and stalagmites of my carefully coiffed hair, a scarf round my neck, tanned cheek apples awesomely flushed, in the city that always makes me believe in like, my own rampant dude power, Terry behind the camera, black and white, gritty, breakthrough wedding noir! With a contract like this, I would have, like, done it ten years ago!

    PSH: But – ?

    JT: Mrs Thing’s going one-star location-quarantine on my ass for an all-girl destination wedding: Cabo, Chelsea, Courtney, Coco, and Huve, and her two personal coolers. She says I’d better agree to a Moulin Rouge-theme party vacation wedding and hire the paps who usually handle Halle — or else! Philip Seymour! I can’t go back to “or else,” dude! Say ciao to manscaping, free appetizers, and being asked what Ellen’s really like?! I’ll sign anything, you know that! But: no snow to prop my raven fineness? Me in board trunks on my biggest day? I’ll be all ankles in pictures that will live forever. The magicalness is, like, being totally knocked off my life trapeze, man. Help me! I am in the middle of a major juncture fail!

    PSH: — I see…. You know, my son, to me, she will always be Polly, a free spirit well-cast opposite a ferret. I have herewith given you the answer to your question.

    JT: — what? I was looking at shoes in that window?

    PSH: Let me put it this way, my son: until the stunt baby and ring get here, have you thought at all about Miss Katie Holmes? Nice little girl, about your height, likes boots, New York winters, has tickets to Fashion Week…I know why TomTom would be afraid to mind, and I can guarantee that you two crazy kids would go places. Of course only you know if you are ready to move up from being the docile rodent sidekick, to Suri’s multi-cover stepdad? Two words: Jason Segel. Think, my son. As I always say, you can change planes when you’re still at the gate.

    JT: —–whoaaaa, my dude! My jeans just got like totally tighter!

    PSH: I knew they would, my son, I knew they would. The Hoff is always watching out for you.

    • Rhea says:

      Bwahahahahah!!! Tom would go nuts if JT coming close to KH. LOL. :D

      ” The Hoff is always watching out for you. ”
      —> snort!!

    • joyce says:

      Love it Liberty. Thanks!

      I think Aniston secretly wishes she has Angelina’s lips. I’ve seen her done that w/her lips at the MTV, here, in magazine, Terry Richardson’s photo shoot, etc.

      • Ally says:

        I’ve never heard anyone say they’d like lips like Angelina. I think Angelina has amazing bone structure and gorgeous eyes but her lips aren’t attractive.

      • Kim says:

        © Ally Angelina’s lips have been the most requested celeb lips according to plastic surgeons for years you can google it.I dont think Aniston is trying to copy Angelina lips.Making those faces is just an aspect of her acting skills along with touching her hair

    • MrsBPitt says:

      “She will always be Polly, well cast opposite a ferret” BEST…LINE…EVER! lol…

    • Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

      Celebitchy should hire you as a writer this is brilliant :) :) :)

  27. Kim says:

    According to tabloids this makes what her 30 th pregnancy

    • Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

      If the tabloid stories were correct JA would have more offspring than Michelle Duggar.

  28. texbrook says:

    did anyone else hear that Heidi Bivens’ father passed away on the same day as the engagement? A friend heard that from a very close source, but it’s a first to me. God, what a horrible day to have. I really feel for Heidi.

  29. Dee Cee says:

    The actual petri dishes to be used are sooo.. at this time.. ceremoniously placed and sharing the same shelf in the ultra exclusive fertility clinic and … OMG!? Is Diana Ross dead?!

  30. Mac says:

    Justin looks as though he’s about to break out into joyous laughter.

    Maybe the pregnancy rumours are accurate.

  31. Courtney says:

    who cares it’snone of the public’s business weather Jen is pregnant or not and plenty of stars have gotten married while they were pregnant or rumored to be

  32. k says:

    OT, but … why do celebrities hang out with Terry Richardson? He is the creepiest,and his photos seem to be B&W photography 101.

    • Mac says:

      Terry Richardson hosts several discreet celebrity orgies per year.

      As a result he’s considered a trusted insider to many in Hollywood.

  33. megs283 says:

    I just gotta say, I got amethyst earrings for Christmas a few years ago, and I LOVE them!

    That said – my MIL said that she’d love a grandkid for Christmas…so I guess people do think that way.

    (And she said it hopefully – not with baggage or anything. So it was sort of sweet.)

  34. yolo says:

    Oh puuuhleeeezzz!!! Here we go again!! I wonder if we went back thru time and added up how many times Jen has supposedly been preggers, how many kids would she actually have.. lol

  35. Imelda says:

    To add my two cents has anyone ever thought JA doesn’t deny or confirm her pregnancy situation simply because she doesn’t know?
    Its not as ludicrous as it sounds at 38 I wasn’t sure although with my partner years. The decision was taken out of my hands as I had to come off the pill for health reasons and it happened. I still even now wouldn’t call myself the maternal type although I am the very proud mother of a lovely 4 year old girl. I do it my way and thats it. But I dont ooh and ahh about parenthood – its bloody hard.
    I just dont think Jennifer has made up her mind yet, maybe she should have quelled the rumours years ago but its hard to do if you’re not sure, and answered in the affirmative to please a certain audience.
    Not a big crime in my book the way some people make out.

  36. GrandPoobah says:

    Aniston hasn’t buried the hatchet with her mom. She went and saw her in the hospital because the woman had a stroke but other than that you never hear anything about Jennifer and her mother being nice to each other or having made up.

    And if this is true, her mom needs to shut it and stop trying to cash in on her daughter.

    I tend not to believe “insiders” and “sources” though. So unless Nancy herself says something about it, I’ll reserve judgement.

  37. Rose says:

    I don’t buy this. She has a crap relationship with her whacko mom, and perhaps she doesn’t want kids–because of her relationship with her mom. It’s ok for people to admit they don’t want kids in an overpopulated world.

    Anybody remember her interview in Instyle? She admits she just quit smoking. Indicates she may have gone on the pill…

    • nikita says:

      that was just a lie, she was caught smoking at her birthday. there were even pics whith a cigarette in her hand…
      she lies, like usualy

      • Moby says:

        @Nikita remember she herself gave interviews and these are interviews that she has fully prrof read & approved of before thay are being published so when she her self said “KIDS ARE MESSEY” that say’s it all doesnt it!!
        when ever theree is amovie to promote the subject kids rears it ugly head again.

  38. Nikita says:

    She had a bad history with man?????? WHAT???? was she ever left alone with babys and no money ? Did she was beaten by an ex? i really wonder about storys like this, like life is a farytale. Shes superrich, healthy and got everything she wanted. Little less luck with love is not that bad. she was even engaged before brad. a lot of woman needs some time to find love, the tabloids are just not focused at other single celebs like on aniston.

    • Nikita says:

      what about cameron diaz? well, she didnt feel the need to make a pityparty life on tv like aniston, so nobody feels sorry for her bad luck with man ??
      Maybe its because Camy have more dignity and class than aniston will ever have

      • Brendah says:

        Neither did Sandra Bullock, and she was actually truly cheated on. And even worse; at the time she was a new mother, and had won an Oscar, so the laughing and the humilation was extra intense. Yet, Sandra has not said one bad word about her ex, she has handled herself in such an exemplary and classy manner. Sandra is dignity, grace under fire. She truly is class personified. Love her. She is a truly good role model for young girls.

  39. Ally8 says:

    These two are so miserable. The worse thing about this pairing is another 10 years of Aniston tabloid headlines.

    I think Theroux is having a nice mid-life crisis and, as you say, Aniston is his quick ticket to a Hollywood career do-over.

    As it is, I think they will make a nice pair, getting older and more mediocre together with Uncle Terry. Meanwhile Angie and Brad will keep buying real estate and start watching their kids fall out of nightclubs on TMZ.

  40. morgfunk says:

    Am I taking crazy pills or does anyone else remember a tabloid story after the Bermuda triangle of uncoolness that she got her eggs frozen? It may just have been a story, but I think if she really did/does want kids she would have done it. Which means she may be harvesting right now…

    • MrsBPitt says:

      I thought the crazy story was that someone told JA to freeze some of BP’s sperm…

    • Moby says:

      @Morgfunk about the harveesting of brads spurm that was a true story it was one of her ex-hollywood agent /Pr person she was quite high in the ranking of agents and she’s passed away know and it was in her diaries that she said she advised aniston during her marriage to brad that she should consider getting his sprem for future purpose, as she knew aniston wasnt in a rush to have kids so sprem could have come very handy indeed.as shes missed the boat is she wanted to she would have follwed suite what she was advised to do but for aniston i guess its that alluded film career she chasing that she doesnt want any other obsticles to acheive that does she?

      • Brendah says:

        If that is true, that doesn’t make sense because Aniston would have to have permission from Pitt to access HIS sperm, and I don’t see him agreeing to it. You can’t just steal someone’s sperm. Or take it/use it without their permission. I’m sure that would be illegal.

  41. Greta6 says:

    LOL I thought more going towards king kong with those tight lips, Watch out Andy Sarkis you have competition Peter Jackson will be calling her next time he wants some one to impersonate a chimp.

  42. Mslynnst says:

    Oh my GOD you people need to put yourselves on Meds. Analyzing some random famous person to this degree is a symptom of having a very useless life. A comment on celebrity is fun-but you all spending time actually LOOKING UP info from some rag to “prove” a point or believing/not believing some point about someone who has NO BEARING ON YOUR LIFE is sad. I read it because I couldn’t believe how many people waste their time talking about this and other posts to this degree. Do you know how pathetic you are? I’m hysterically laughing at all of you and so is anyone else who isn’t dumb enough to sit on these sites and pretend they have something useful to add to the planet.

    • manly says:

      and,and u are here commenting.ok u just said “pathetic”.welcome!

    • MrsBPitt says:

      um…please go take your meds…commenting on these stories is just plain old fun…nothing more…none of us are losing sleep over Jennifer Anniston’s womb…

    • Jaded says:

      Then get off the site, don’t comment. Go away and let us have our peurile fun while you read Dostoevsky.

    • JulieM says:

      Mslynnst- For what it’s worth, I agree with you completely. The time and energy invested in hating this woman is almost comical. Puerile indeed.

      • Nan says:

        Like the time and energy you invest in hating AJ and ‘agreeing’ with posters who hate on AJ, JulieM? You wouldn’t be a HYPOCRITE, would you? Btw, reading through the thread, I honestly think Mslynnst was referring to the Jenloons who go out of their way to defend her.

  43. Buddy The Elf says:

    Seriously, what’s up with the daily Aniston watch?

    Yeah she was the cute one from ‘Friends’ but she acts and is treated like Hollywood royalty. For what? Co-star roles in B movies and for being a desperate Hollywood serial dater?

    She just always comes across desperate and has this serious look like the world is too beneath her to matter.

    With all of the men she has gone through OBVIOUSLY she is a nightmare b!tch and insufferable Diva.

  44. shannon says:

    Oh goodness, don’t be womb-shamed! I’d like to have a grandchild someday but it’s not crucial. A pair of amethyst earrings would be awesome, too. There are moments with each of my sons where I feel like I might be willing to trade them for a nice pair of amethyst earrings LOL