Was this woman really swept away by a wave during a proposal?

A guy claims that he took his 22 year-old girlfriend to the beach in Oregon to propose and that she was swept away by a “sneaker wave” and lost at sea. On the surface it’s a sad and shocking story of a young woman taken in the prime of her life, but when you look a little deeper it seems suspicious. The would-be bride, Leafil Alforque, was a 22 year-old woman living in The Phillippines who met her fiance on the Internet. She corresponded with Scott Napper, 45, for two years before she came to Oregon a short time ago to live with him. (The newscast above says she came a month ago, but an AP report has her arriving just three days ago.) Napper says he took Alforque to a steep rock on the Oregon coast named “Proposal Rock,” when she was swept off to sea by a wave. Her body has not been recovered after a rescue effort and police say foul play is not suspected.

Is it just me or does this whole scenario seem strange? The way the guy describes it doesn’t seem sincere to me, especially how he says “She was attractive, a little bit younger, she was full of life, wanted family.” People handle grief in different ways I guess and maybe it’s not fair to judge. We may never know what happened in this case as there are not likely to be any witnesses.

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65 Responses to “Was this woman really swept away by a wave during a proposal?”

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  1. Scribe85 says:

    It set off all of my alarms too when I read it.

  2. EnKay says:

    Mine too.

  3. Azurea says:

    That reminds of a story I read in the paper where I live. A man & his wife were out hiking on the Niagara Escarpment, when she slipped off a cliff & died. The man called 911, etc. The police said no foul play was suspected. I told my husband about this story, & said, “Can you imagine that happening? How awful!” He waited a beat, and then said, “Wanna go for a hike?” 😆
    Anyway, a few months later, this guy was arrested & eventually convicted of murder.

  4. Kristin says:

    So sad. :[

  5. buenavissta says:

    It is unnerving and alarming. It is worth mentioning, though, that rogue waves are a very real danger in the Pacific Northwest. A friend of my family was washed away years ago while fishing on a relatively calm day, his gear was found in the ocean but his body never was. He wasn’t meeting an internet date, though….

  6. cara says:

    I don’t know, I hear you all, but there was a case recently in southern Claifornia where three people had the same thing happen to them, and I think it was even on Thanksgiving day. All adults, and they too where on some rocks and taken away by a small, but powerful wave. So it is plausible.

    Besides, would he really had motive as of yet, do you really think she was going to or had refused to marry him??? It’s possible, but I would imagine Oregon, even in a trailer must of been better then the Phillipines. BUT anything’s possible.

  7. MoJo says:

    I’m curious: Is there any mention as to whether or not he got caught up in the wave as well? He must’ve been standing really close to her to propose, I would imagine.

    This is very sad indeed and, yes, suspicious. I’m not against people finding love over the internet, but I always get kind of uncomfortable at this idea of middle-aged white men “finding love” with women who happen to be very young Asian girls in a country like the Philippines. I can’t help but think there’s some kind of fetishism of Asian women involved, especially when this guy doesn’t seem too distraught at losing a women talked to for two years and was going to marry. (Isn’t there anything about her he’ll miss other than his almost future family and her being pretty and young?)

    Not that I’m saying it isn’t possible. I’ve seen such a match before, and the love they had at their wedding was amazing. (He wanted to get married sooner when they found out she had cancer rather than ran away from it.) The ad just below this comment box is asking me if I’m “Looking for a beautiful Asian bride?” while this chubby old guy gropes this gorgeous young woman. Thank you, but no.

  8. Nova says:

    There’s a whole lot of creepiness to this story. I personally think he killed her. She probably got to Oregon and realized she didn’t want him and I bet he just couldn’t deal with the rejection. He’s just too straight faced, talking about her so nonchalantly like she was just an acquaintance. CREEPY!

  9. cara says:

    MoJo…I read that he did get hit by the wave and turned so it would crash into his back, I read that the girl was tiny, and weighed no more then mid 90lbs (maybe 4’9, 4’10 around there) Yahoo news.

  10. Syko says:

    I can see it happening. The Pacific is really wild around there, and she was a tiny little thing. I know he said he could not call for help because his cell phone was wet, and it’s my experience that cells don’t work so well there by the Coast Range anyway. He was about twice her age. Guys like that annoy me, middle aged men who want sweet young nubile, preferably Oriental and therefore in their minds reared to be obedient, women. Poor little thing.

  11. KateNonymous says:

    His demeanor is what makes it seem odd. These tragedies do happen, though. I remember a number of years ago a woman (I think in Northern California) was swept off a cliff by a rogue wave. A year later her children went to leave a wreath at the site, and were swept away by a rogue wave.

  12. Kayleigh says:

    When someone proposes to me I hope they take me some where dangerous and unpredictable, like a live volcano ledge or something.

  13. Kaiser says:

    Yeah, he killed her. But the motive is still up in the air… probably not money, maybe just plain old sociopathy?

  14. MoJo says:

    Thank you, cara. I didn’t hear any mention of that (could’ve just been my faulty attention span :P), and that lack of information had only heightened my suspicions.

  15. Ruby says:

    Love the Asian Dating and Singles ad following the story… very ironic.

  16. Christina says:

    man that’s pretty sad…

    kayleigh that’s a funny comment…

    btw, why had they already bought a wedding dress if he hadn’t proposed yet? ❓

  17. kate says:

    i live in seattle and the rocks on this NW coast are quite treacherous. i wouldn’t go out on them unless the tide was very far out. i agree that this guy seems weird. but then again anyone who would propose to a virtual stranger is weird to me.

  18. Perla says:

    You can never predict how someone will react to losing a loved one, but it seems a little odd.

    My Mum is Filipino and my dad is an Anglo-Australian. Ostensibly creepy dynamics like this sometimes cause people to make assumptions about how/why they got together. It’s so irritating and ignorant!

    If a bloke is looking to a Filipina for a spineless, giggling doormat, he’s barking up the wrong tree! Some guys I meet expect the same of me, too 👿

  19. Holly says:

    Um, I think if someone were to commit murder, the “she was swept off by waves” cover up seems a bit far fetched to just make up yourself and really think people will believe it.

    Also, I too live in Seattle and have lived in the PNW all my life, and I can tell you, the undertow on the west coast of WA and Oregon is dangerous. Everything from Second Beach on down to Ocean Shores and beyond is very treacherous. It is difficult to use cell phones there.

    Seriously, how can you be like “Oh yeah, he killed her.” WTF do you know about it? She was tiny and the undertow out here is awful. The west shores of WA and OR are the only places with enough surf to actually go surfing but we’re often warned not to, anyway.

    Seriously. Who kills someone and uses the “she got swept away by a wave” defense. If he’d really killed her, he probably would have said she didn’t like him and had ran off.

  20. Kink says:

    sounds like the guy who said his wife slipped and drowned in the empty bathtub….there’s a reason this guy could only get a foreign chic off the internet.

  21. KPC says:

    I was just on the Norcal coast and their was a surge. It was amazing, but you definitely had to be careful.

    Side note…a few days before this 3 men were swept away in Socal by a rogue wave so I think maybe we should give this guy the benefit of the doubt on this.

    Mother nature can attack at any moment.

  22. CC says:

    If he really loved her He would have jumped in after her. that would be a romantic but tragic love story.

  23. Ally says:

    Certainly it seems a fair question to ask whether he tried to help her. It’s actually a crime of some order not to assist a person in danger of death. Were even his shoes wet when he came back from the scene to report what had happened. Like others, I would have thought that being the full-grown adult Oregonian, he would have swum in after her. Letting her drift off to her death (at the very least) after flying her over to be his child bride seems a shocking extra step in his consumerist objectification.

  24. Jeanne says:

    I smell murder for insurance. Why would he choose that place for a proposal? And why is he still alive and she isn’t? I’m pessimistic and suspicious of internet relationships anyway. Plus it all happened so quickly. Check him out cops! I’ll bet it’s the first ever death at that rock.

  25. jess says:

    He’s a creepy 45yr old…she’s a pretty 22 yr old…She dove in…

  26. Codzilla says:

    Jeanne: Don’t they actually have to be married before the insurance pays out? I’m not trying to sound bitchy, I’m honestly just curious. Can you get some kind of fiance/girlfriend plan?

    I agree that it’s a little too early to definitely say it was murder (or not). Especially since we’re just relying on headlines for info …

  27. Lucinda says:

    I used to live in Tillamook county right near Neskowin. It’s amazing how many people get stranded on a rock or pulled out to see every year. They are not usually from Tillamook county but from other areas of the state, like this guy was. If she had her back to the ocean and given her likely size compared to his, her getting pulled out and not him is plausible. It happens very fast.

    As for his demeanor, he met her on the internet. What does that tell you about his social skills in the first place? He strikes me as the typical geeky 40-something who probably still lives with his mom, play’s D&D or some other game, and all his friends are equally geeky or on the internet. These people don’t know how to emote or talk in any way that seems normal, just creepy. Just my opinion.

  28. bub says:

    a little younger? she was half his age.
    why would he bring her somewhere known for dangerous waves? he seems creepy. poor girl.

  29. Feebee says:

    The report I heard said that they were due to marry the next day and he took her to that spot to propose because he hadn’t “officially” done that yet…… and lookie here, away she goes. Bet Scott Peterson’s wishing he’d thought of that one.

  30. watzzy says:

    Pity her. I doubt if his story was true. Very suspicious…..

  31. Kristin says:

    Syko- It’s Asian, not oriental, that term is pretty offensive now a days.

  32. Jessica says:

    doesnt sound that suss to me…

    thankfully none of you are court judges. you can’t call somebody a murderer just because they don’t seem to have good communication skills… seriously.

    poor girl.

  33. mollination says:

    his description of her sounds to be in response to the question, “What drew you to her out of all the women on the internet?”

    His answer: “She was attractive, a little bit younger, full of life, wanted family, etc.”

    I actually don’t think that part sounds too off to me. Whether this happened or not, who knows? I hope it DIDN’T happen the way he claims because if it did, can you imagine dealing with the grief AND people implying you’re full of shit?

    P.S. KING 5 is MY news channel. I watched this exact thing last night. How funny.:D

  34. Wif says:

    I know of a couple (I was friend’s with his mom) who were scuba diving on their honeymoon in BC. He was not far from her at all when she got “grabbed” by an undertow and it whisked her off into the ocean. They never found her. The ocean’s a powerful thing and these things do happen.

  35. doodahs says:

    Kristin, I don’t imagine Syko was using it as an offensive term. In parts of the UK, that’s what people of Asian descent are referred to as (and for this reason, I think Syko might be from Britain?).

    Looks like a simple case of tomato, tomahtoe 🙂

  36. ReV says:

    Jesus, you people thinking he might have did something. You watch WAY TOO MUCH tv. As for the newscast saying she got here a month ago, they were wrong. They get shit wrong all the time.

    And people calling him disgusting need to grow up. Filipinas are loving, down to earth, and the young ones are very mature for their age. I should know, because I too am married to one. We are only 5 years apart, and I met her in Thailand during the famous tsunami of 2004. She was working there to support her family who are still in the Philippines. Of course you guys wouldn’t know anything about that. Maybe this guy is like me and tired of jaded American women.

    Oh well. I’m sure by tomorrow you’ll be back to discussing who’s screwing who while wearing who in Hollywood. 🙄

    I apologize to the people with common sense who might be reading my rant. This story hits me close to home like you wouldn’t imagine. I was looking for latest info, and came across this site with the “story” above that totally disgusts me down to the core.

  37. GrnMtGirl says:

    Kristin – Thank You for clarifying the Asain/Oriental thing. Many people don’t understand that there is a difference and it matters. People are Asian – Items are Oriental.

    As for the man’s story – quite believable. I know a few men who have married foreign women they’ve met over the internet. There isn’t always Love there to begin with – just two people who want to change their life circumstances.

    And, it isn’t hard to believe that she was swept away by a wave. Accidents happen all the time. I certainly don’t believe this had anything at all to do with an insurance payout. I don’t think it is possible for her to have been insured already; I could be wrong, but I just don’t think it works that way.

    Just a bunch of bad luck, IMO

  38. xiaoecho says:

    Codzilla…..”…fiance/girlfriend plan” 😆 😆 😆

    There is something odd about this story and that is why it has raised a red flag. If you see a wave coming wouldn’t the split second reaction be to grab your partner rather than turn your back and crouch down?. he seems emotionally detached in his comments. People in love and about to propose are anything but emotionally detached. My gut feeling is he’s got away with the perfect murder

    “oriental” is offensive???? WHY? It’s just an old fashioned way of saying asi-an. No more cruises around the orient then. Is occidental offensive now too?

  39. Greta says:

    When I was in science class, Kristin, thousands of moons ago, we were taught there are three races on earth: mongoloid, caucasian and oriental. I realize that political correctness has made some words sort of evil to utter, but I honestly cannot figure out why oriental has become pejorative? I think it’s a beautiful word. Actually, when I was growing up, the “Orient” was a romantic place of great mystery and beauty. Still love the word.

  40. Paulette says:

    I don’t see anything wrong with the word “oriental” and my family is from Japan originally. As far as I’m concerned, you occidentals can use it freely. 😀

    I don’t think anyone doubts that drownings happen all the time, it’s just that the guy is so creepy to boot. “She was attractive, a little bit younger, she was full of life, wanted family.” It sounds like he’s reading her internet dating profile. After corresponding for 2 years, you’d think he’d have something more personal to say.

  41. Larry says:

    I have lived in Oregon most of my 45 years. It is well Known you do not turn your back on the ocean. The waves are for real.
    I am one who is married to a Filipina. we met she was in the Philippines and we married here in Oregon. I older than my wife. we met as her uncle here IN Oregon put us in contact. after what I have had with married for 18 years, then dated for a few years. My wife was a breath of fresh air. Pretty, smart, loving, does not have to have everything! she love we can put money in savings. My ex love to spend!after the Divorce I had to pay it all off! and give her a almost all of our $$$. I feel for him. I do not know what really happen. I do know what he claims happen really does happen here every year. My grandfather almost lost his Life many years ago in the same way.

  42. KatyAlia says:

    Oh well.

  43. Greta says:

    Sorry if my words offended anyone, not my intention. I feel like I’m skating the edge of 1984, but the older I get, the more out of touch I seem to be.

  44. Kelly says:

    men are such cowards

  45. Kelly says:

    a rug is oriental a person is asian

  46. majoza28 says:

    IM filipina and have american bf living in minnesota,,i have a long distance affair with him..

    This news is very shocking for us,,
    we keep praying that her body found soon and please investigate that guy coz he acting so weird…

  47. majoza28 says:

    i dont want to jump a conclusion,,But why he need to propose there if he can propose here in the philippines..
    why he need to bring the girl if he knows that the place is too dangerous..

    We have tradition here in philippines,,before you asking marriage to ur gf,,you should ask her hand to her family,,thats a respectful way of proposing marriage…

    why?? why? why??

  48. Rona says:

    As a Filipina living in the Philippines:

    1) Stop calling us Oriental- we are people, not rugs. Seriously, if I called an African-American the “n” word, people would not accept “It wasn’t meant to be offensive,” “It’s just a cultural expression,” or “That’s what I was taught to call them” as an excuse.

    2) He totally murdered her. The Philippines is an archipelago, she would have known how to handle herself at sea/a beach. I mean, we do have 7000+ beaches here, some with really nasty waves.

  49. majoza28 says:

    Well said Rona,,We are human and not rugs,,Filipina are very smart, were not just beautiful we have brain competetive, hardworker, a dreamer, mature,were sweet, caring and very lovable,,thats why most old foreign men falling for us,we have charm and venom no other havent,they do everything to get us,they giving us money, expensive things,,And Most especially,,, we are very clean and hygienic.we love to take a bath 3 times a day..Am I right???

  50. Wif says:

    “1) Stop calling us Oriental- we are people, not rugs. Seriously, if I called an African-American the “n” word, people would not accept “It wasn’t meant to be offensive,” “It’s just a cultural expression,” or “That’s what I was taught to call them” as an excuse.”

    This is the first time I have heard that oriental is an offensive term. I will not use it from here forward. But to say that it’s “no excuse” to use the term, I certainly think it is. I know from the mainstream media that the “n” word is inappropriate. There is an under-representation of Asians in mainstream media, so you can’t expect everyone to know this stuff unless you step forward to provide this information. I thank you for doing it now, but please make allowances for other people’s natural mistakes. It will be more successful in furthering the goal of appropriate language.

  51. IceBunny says:

    It maybe be my ignorance… but never once have I thought of people from the Philippines as “Orientals”. NOR have I ever thought of them as Asians! I think of them as Filipino. And.. I hate to break it to all you people who think the world already knows that “oriental” should be considered an offensive word, therefore one is an evil doer if they use the “o” word. Most people have absolutely no clue it has any negative connotation – and even many of those who DO know, still don’t quite understand why.

    The word has been used for centuries – not as a derogatory comment – but to describe the PLACE a person comes from, if one does not come from the same place. In fact, the term ORIGINATED in Western Asia, to refer to people from Eastern Asia! (Technically the term “the Orient” refers to people and things from “the East”.) As intimated above.. if you are going to change the political correctness of the word.. it’s all about enlightenment.. not chastisement. People do not MEAN to use it as insult because they don’t even know it is considered one… so don’t treat them like they are. But for me.. I still don’t get what the problem is… and I am not losing sleep over it. I do wonder if we are supposed to call it “The Asian Express” vs. “The Orient Express” now though? Now THAT I would be upset over.

    And as for `Did he, or Didn’t he, do it?”.. relating to the topic… how could any of us possibly know? Either way it is sad sad sad. And yes, rogue waves are deadly.. as are rogue human beings. But it’s probably not fair for us to ascribe guilt or innocence to him? Can you imagine his pain if his story is true, even if he does have poker face over it all? What I do NOT get though, is why you would want to take someone you allegedly want to spend the rest of your life with to one of the most dangerous places in your midst, to propose. He may not be a murderer, but a rocket scientist, he ain’t either.

    (wow, what a long rant/comment! please forgive!)

  52. Greta says:

    Thank you IceBunny for an eloquent dissertation on the problems of free speech vs. politicized speech.

    I made an error of etiquette on C.B. and have been thoroughly chastised by the young Asians who feel put down. Frankly, using the word Oriental used to be considered both scientific and descriptive. It didn’t occur to me that anyone equated it with “n” word. It would be better if you all would err on the side of tolerance in matters of Free Speech.

    As to this fellow, I believe reality wins out in the end. Like with OJ Simpson. I feel really sorry for this beautiful woman who lost her life and for her family.

  53. myluvnghusband says:

    hey guys look at the caption below the photo at the top of this page; “Visitors often walk to Proposal Rock at LOW tide.” He said in an (unconvincing) TV interview this happened at around 3:15pm. If you check the tide tables from the URL below you will see that is at a 7ft HIGH tide.


    He begins his clever tale by saying: “At some point during the walk to the rock, the two let go of each other’s hands.”
    Wouldn’t you think they would be holding hands or arm in arm, at a minimum she would be right next to him for this VERY important event.

    When the wave hit he then says “I turned into it to keep from getting pulled under it,” Ok the wave blindsided them and his first instinct is to grab onto a rock to protect himself not the woman of his dreams. How far away from him was she? Was she closer to the ocean than him?

    Then our boy goes on to say: “he turned to look ….. By then, he said, “She was about 30 feet away, getting swept away.” When waves hit they go inland first then out to sea and there is a brief moment where the action shifts to reverse. There would have been a moment for him to make some effort to look for her.

    To further explain his intent to save her he says “he immediately tore off his jacket to get rid of any extra weight, and when he looked up again she was gone. “
    If that was someone I loved, like he claims he loved her, I wouldn’t wait to take off my jacket at the speed he claims she was being swept out.

    Secondly, I wouldn’t take my eyes off her if I did take off my jacket. Instead what does he do?
    “He said he felt panicked and ran up on the rocks nearby for a better view.”
    Was it a better view of his fiancé drowning in 50 degree water? Was it a view of the “thick fog” that hampered the search for rescuers and also prevent him from seeing her rapidly moving further out to sea? Or maybe it was to smell the mist of the ocean spray from the dangerous water conditions of high waves and high tide.

    Additionally, let me say I am married to a Filipina I met online. She is traditional and has strong family ties. Immigrating her here under a K1 fiancé visa or K3 marriage visa was about the same time. Granted this changes all the time where one is faster than the other, I question why they didn’t get married in the Philippines with her family present.

    Here is my answer to such specious events. If this was premeditated murder then he brought her here on a K1 fiancé visa because she had to have a return airline ticket. If he had bought life insurance it would be too obvious and create a greater motive. However, if you have Accidental Death and Dismemberment policy, which you can purchase for traveling, then it is less suspicious and way easier to get. Her trip was not complete so she would still be covered. Some AD&D policies cover a wide range of accidents while traveling.

    The police are saying they don’t suspect foul play but I would be you they are watching this guy 24/7.

    There appear to be no witnesses as the police were looking for witnesses. Then possibly she never took that walk on the beach, she may have been dead before that.

    All I can say is that if I lived in that area I would have never taken her out that day, especially at high tide. If I did I would hold her close and not let go. If she went in the water I would not waste a second to jump in and attempt to rescue her. And if I lost her, I wouldn’t have giving a non emotional interview to the TV station. I would have been so overcome with emotion I would have to be hospitalized.

  54. 88modesty88 says:

    Wow, after reading some of the comments here, the story does seem fishy. At first I just thought it was very tragic.
    But if it’s murder, it’s so senseless!

  55. IceBunny says:

    Greta.. thanks, and I wholeheartedly agree.

    Myluvinghust… all I can say is wow. verrry thought provoking, and you got some points there.

    88modesty… that’s me too. I tried to cut the guy some slack.. but where he loses me is that there are *no* witnesses. in public/civilization, there are almost alllways witnesses, unless it’s the middle of the night or somewhere totally obscure. this was at a popular place. if the weather was so bad (and/or tide so high) that conditions were not right for witnesses, then wtf was he doing there with his “bride” to be. Fishy indeed. He really did need to work on that “I’m so sad” delivery thing before the interview. Epic fail on that one. But still… I guess we won’t know till there is more hard evidence. I sure HOPE he didn’t do it, and either way, it still is beyond tragic.

  56. bella28 says:

    Well I hope her body will found, im very pity for her family im sure they are worried right now,,this is very tragic for us filipina…Lets pray for her sould Guys..

  57. gia says:

    my initial instinct when i read that story was uh-oh, this doesnt sound right for some reason…i hope the police are watching him, but so far if he is guilty he is getting away with it…maybe i am just too jaded.

  58. Candy says:

    Bring in the chips… I smell fish!

  59. Ashley says:

    Don’t you think you should post the whole story before jumping to conclusions? There were people on the beach, so there were witnesses. Plus she was 4’11, 98 pounds.

  60. Jill-e-b says:

    No matter what really happened, you can be sure that “Proposal Rock” is going to be called “Death Rock” for a while, and there won’t be *nearly* as many proposals there as before.

  61. HeatherTH says:

    I live in Oregon and the coast here is intense. In the past two months alone, at least six people have died in the coastal waters, some of them fishermen with decades of experience. All along the coast there are warning signs about sneaker waves and the undertow. It doesn’t matter how strong of a swimmer you are or how familiar you are with the ocean or where you grew up. Whether or not the guy is a skeez, people need to find out more about the OR coast before they judge the likelihood of this guy killing his FI.

  62. KateNonymous says:

    “He begins his clever tale by saying: “At some point during the walk to the rock, the two let go of each other’s hands.”
    Wouldn’t you think they would be holding hands or arm in arm, at a minimum she would be right next to him for this VERY important event.”

    Now that you mention it, my husband wasn’t holding my hand for the entire hour before he proposed. Should I be worried that he’s going to kill me?

    Honestly, this guy may be lying to cover up a crime. I have no idea. But parsing details like whether or not he was holding her hand the entire way to the site? Really?

  63. Paulette says:

    “people need to find out more about the OR coast before they judge the likelihood of this guy killing his FI”

    No, I think I’m perfectly capable of making a judgment without an encyclopedic knowledge of every inch of coast line. Yeah, it’s a treacherous coast, I get it.

    If 10 people die there this year, that’s what, 0.001 percent of all visitors (or some minuscule percentage)? It’s not as though people drown left and right. One of the VERY few to die is a foreign girl here alone with a seriously creepy fiance. There’s no body and no way to prove he is or isn’t telling the truth. It’s all just so convenient.

  64. slightly off topic but talking about the philippines, dating a filipina lady changed my life 😉

  65. Zygor Guides says:

    An anonymous reader showed me an question recently. Who or what do you think of once you feel of enjoy?