Did Jon Hamm tell Jennifer Westfeldt that he would never, ever marry her?

Yesterday, Page Six ran a really sweet little item about Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt. Not about their relationship or anything. The item was about Jon and Jennifer’s support of the new documentary called Brooklyn Castle, a film all about “students at Williamsburg’s IS 318, who’ve racked up 26 national titles despite having 60 percent of its pupils living below the poverty line.” Jon and Jennifer went to a screening of the film, and then Jon played one of the student chess champions, a young woman named Rochelle Ballantyne. Page Six notes that Jon Hamm lost the chess game, but Page Six also included a funny-funky photo of Jon and Rochelle playing chess, and Jennifer sitting in front the board, posing like she was concentrating on the match. It just reminded me that Jennifer and Jon are still together, and that it seems like… I don’t know… that Jennifer is just kind of desperate to be included in his life at this point, which is a weird thing to be saying about Jon Hamm’s girlfriend of 14 years, but that’s what their body language has been saying to me.

Well, The Enquirer has an interesting story about Jon and Jennifer. Who knows if any of this is true, but it would go a long way to explaining why their relationship seems somewhat rocky these days:

Jon Hamm’s longtime love hit him with a “marry me or else” ultimatum – and Jon Hamm told her to take a hike! Jennifer Westfeldt, 42, has dated Hamm for 14 years, and she recently demanded they tie the knot, sources say.

“Jon and Jennifer have talked marriage before, but he’s always shied away from it,” said a pal. “Now, Jennifer’s at a stage in her life when she wants stability, security and a family. So she worked up the nerve and told Jon it was time to get married or she was moving on.”

When she did Hamm went through the roof, said the source.

“Jon angrily told Jennifer that a wedding was not in their future,” revealed the pal. “He said, ‘If you want to get married, go right ahead. There’s the door. Go find someone else to marry because it’s not going to be me!’ Jennifer was devastated. She broke down in tears and Jon stormed out.”

Hamm has recently been living it up on his ‘Mad Men’ success, said the source. “Jon’s like a kid in a candy store these days, and he made it clear that he doesn’t want the party to end. Jennifer backed down, but now she’s miserable.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

When Jennifer was promoting her film, Friends With Kids, she did some interviews in which she discussed her life with Jon in pretty direct terms. I got the feeling that she stayed with him all of these years because she truly loved him, but that as she’s gotten older, she’s begun to wonder about all of the things she’s given up (marriage, children) to be with him. I just got the feeling that HE is the one saying “no” to marriage and kids, and she just goes along for the most part. Maybe she’s trying to get some stuff that she wants now? I feel like I just have to put this out there: what would it look like to have a single-and-ready-to-mingle Jon Hamm on the loose in Hollywood?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

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129 Responses to “Did Jon Hamm tell Jennifer Westfeldt that he would never, ever marry her?”

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  1. RN says:

    We EEEEE are never, ever, ever, gonna tie the knot.

  2. CamColty says:

    A Hamm log on the lose ?! Uh oh

  3. Launicaangelina says:

    I love Jon Hamm but I cannot help but feel for Jennifer if this is true. Relationships are all about compromise. She loves him and made some compromises. What sucks is that if she decided not to have children and is having second thoughts, it may be too late for her – biologically speaking. What would make it even worse is if they break up, he meets a fine young thing next and changes his mind about marriage and babies.

    No matter how people feel about Jennifer, you can tell she loves Jon. She was with him before he was famous. I’m not saying they should stay together because of that but calling her desperate because she is trying to hold on to a 14 year relationship that she’s invested in, seems harsh.

    Edit: If I had the Hamm dong, I’d be desperate to keep riding that train too! Lol!

    • Honey Poo Poo formally known as beyonce's bump says:

      Why feel for Jennifer though? I mean she has been dating him for 14 YEARS and if he had not said or hinted in maybe the first 2-6 years that he ever wanted to get married then how is he the bad guy?
      I understand we, men or women, do and/or have done strange things for love, but if marriage is that important why would she not have demanded it sooner, why 14 years later? It makes me think this story is not true because I cannot understand how someone has been complacent all this time and now wants to put the burden on the other party.

      • bluhare says:

        Just wait. He’ll have a Justin Theroux momentand dump her.

      • Annie says:

        Wow, cold. Have some sympathy. Maybe she loves him so much she couldn’t be without him and thought that maybe with time he would change his mind. Except time passed and he’s the same or worse.

        In my opinion, if you know you won’t give your partner what they want you should let them go. Let them find that happiness with someone else. Don’t keep them around knowing they want marriage and babies. That’s selfish.

      • Launicaangelina says:

        I feel for her because they possibly went into this relationship with the same ideas about marriage and kids, then, she changed her mind. It just happens. You think you don’t want something and then, years later, you realize you do. Sometimes, that change of heart can’t be controlled but she still loves him.

  4. Lady_Luck says:

    If they are not married, why are they pictured BOTH wearing rings on their left index fingers???!

    A budget George Clooney.
    He knows he could have his share of the herd if he wanted to and is ready to walk on her. I feel sorry for her. She’s sacrificed a lot for this man, and it seems there is no happy ending for her.

  5. French says:

    I don’t understand why people feel sorry for Jennifer she knows what he thinks about marriage and children, she made a choice, of course if he promised her that one day they will get married and will start a family it’s totally different.
    I don’t want to settle down and having children and I am clear on this subject when I meet somebody (moreover I don’t know how these girls do but I meet only men who want to get married and to start a family strange :) )

    • Annie says:

      He should have let her go then. Not take advantage of her unconditional love to make her sacrifice things and say now, when she’s too old to have babies, tell her coldly “If you don’t like it, leave.” Why didn’t he tell her that when she was 30? Why now? Way harsh, Tai.

      Assuming this story is true, obvs…

      • Isa says:

        Doesn’t seem to be what’s happening here though. He doesn’t seem to have had any problem letting her go, she has problems letting him go instead. If he has been promising her that they would go the white picket fences road one day, I would totally agree with you. But if he has been consistently saying that that is not what he wants, then expecting him to change is unrealistic. It’s like trying to blame someone else for lying when she has been lying to herself all along. Yes, her love for him, and perhaps her investment in the relationship makes it hard to let go. But at some point, she has to cut her losses and leave, if she really feels like she is missing out on what she wants in life. Having kids is a major life decision, and trying to force that on an unwilling parter is unfair and tends to not wind up so well, IMO. And well, if she really is too old to have kids now (I don’t think so), then I would think the whole story is untrue. Why give a man an ultimatum when she is incapable of bearing one?

      • jaye says:

        But…if she entered into a relationship with him on one accord about NOT getting married and having children and then SHE changed HER mind but he hasn’t, it’s time for HER to set HERSELF free. She doesn’t have to stay in the relationship if she’s no longer getting everything she wants out of it and it’s not just JH’s responsiblity to “let her go”.

    • 4200 says:

      When you are in a relationship with someone, and you’re a decent person and you care about the other person, sometime that means saving them from themselves. This is not some random person off the street, this is supposedly someone you care about – and when you can see that even though they say they are okay with never marrying but they are hoping for something else and they can’t leave because of their love for you, then as a decent person you shouldn’t absolve yourself of responsibility by saying that “oh well, they knew what they were getting” as though this is some arm’s length financial transaction you’re both in. People who act like that are selfish and yes, they ARE knowingly taking advantage of the other person.

      • Isa says:

        Ok, I’m really not commenting about this relationship specifically. This happens in so many relationships. When I say him and her, I don’t mean JH/JW specifically because I don’t know them. It’s just easier to write by using those terms. I don’t even mean that the roles are gender-locked.

        There are very few truly selfless people in the world. Is it really reasonable to ask that someone cares for you more than for themself? I get what you mean by saying that keeping her around may be selfish. At the same time, sticking around, trying to guilt the other party into giving in to demands on account of “sacrifices” made is also selfish. The choice being presented is that she could either have THIS guy or maybe find another and have a family. But she wants both that specific guy + a family. And the guy she wants will just have to make a life adjustment for her. Again, I’m not saying this is what is happening here, just a generalization.

        In the end, can you blame someone for your own weakness? Saying that if he truly loves her, he will do the best for her, is that saying that she has no personal responsibility for her own actions and how her life turns out? So just because she loves him, everything is automatically his fault? Well, then on the reverse, if she truly loves him then should she not either accept him as he is, or leave him so that they can BOTH find a more compatible mate? That’s saving him from himself too. It doesn’t only go one way.

        Can’t really save people from themselves if they don’t want to be saved. He could kick her and her stuff out on the street and she could still come crawling back if she’s convinced she loves him that much.

        Blame shouldn’t even be a factor, really, because it IS a sad situation (if true). It’s a case of 2 people who presumably care for each other, but find themselves at an impasse. The only question is what is to be done? Somebody is going the have to sacrifice at least part of their needs either way. And I suppose the other will have to live with being seen as “selfish” when what they are is perhaps just weak.

  6. mln76 says:

    I think its really important for women to realize that if a man says marraige isnt important to him in all probability he won’t change his mind…personally I’m not one who is too crazy about the institution but I’ve seen women friends wait around for boyfriends to change their mind…its not likely and bioligically speaking its a huge sacrifice of childbearing years if thats what you want give it a couple years max then leave if not you better resign yourself to the nature of the relationship and not blame your partner for being.honest.

    • Miss Kiki says:

      Min in that last sentence you’ve summed up exactly what I said down thread however you say it a lot more compassionately than I have!

    • Kimbob says:

      Ditto. There really shouldn’t be any finger-pointing here by Jennifer. IMHO, she made a conscious decision by choosing to stay w/a man that showed no interest whatsoever in marrying or raising a family, obviously.

      She made “sacrifices,”….really? I don’t think so…..what she did was make a CONSCIOUS DECISION to stay w/someone who didn’t want such. His actions (no family…no wedding), or lack therof, spoke loud enough.

      To me, it’s frustrating to hear someone do the “woe is me” schtick. They knew…they KNOW what they did. She didn’t leave….in my book, that’s on her, not him.

      The way I operate, if a guy has a different “ideology” about life, the nature of our relationship, etc., I see that as I can DECIDE to stay or go…that’s MY choice.

      Life is TOO SHORT to stick around w/someone that doesn’t share your same dreams, ideals, etc. Yes, it sucks leaving, walking away…I’m not going to lie, but the alternative SUCKS EVEN MORE….sticking around for more of the same of something that one finds unacceptable/not to their liking…whatever.

      Life offers the most to the one’s who are brave enough/honest enough w/themselves to not accept what someone may want to stick down their throats…to “make” someone else “settle for less”…no one does that except oneself.

      There’s no blame-game….if you don’t like the situation….leave…move on to see what your true destiny is.

      • MB says:

        Fair enough but thats not what is happening in this case. This story is pure speculation. I have never read or watched any interviews with Jennifer where she has pulled the “woe is me” schtick. I think this story is likely made up, and Celebitchy has pulled their usual stunt of making assumptions about a relationship and readers go along with it.

        I honestly think that if she has stayed with him for 14 years knowing his views on marriage, they are probably views that she shares. There is nothing wrong with that at all but unfortunately the media cant seem to wrap its collective brain around the concept that not all women want to get married and have babies.

    • diana says:

      logically speaking, you are absolutely right and it is how it should be.
      But sometimes you compromise because you love the guy damn too much. And as time goes on you are so conflicted. At one point you get to thinking ‘i was ready to do this for this man. Can’t he give me this atleast. Does nt he love me as much as I love him?’ Ideally you are then supposed to leave him. Everyone says that. But how can you leave him when it hurts so much? You end up staying and nursing stupid hope. And at the end of it all you realise you are the only one to blame all along for your misery.
      Edit: reading back what i typed it appears like drivel. And not blaming the guy at all. But I empathise completely with the girl.

      • megs283 says:

        @diana – that wasn’t drivel at all. you really sucked me in! …you should be a writer.

        (not joking.)

      • diana says:

        Ha ha… Thanks megs… Don’t feel i am that smart. But CB has some awesome commentators. I have been waiting for min76 and liberty to start their blogs forever :)

      • Isa says:

        How do you compromise on this though? You can either get married or not. You can either have kids or not. Is there really an in between? In the end, if both parties want completely different things, somebody’s wants are going to be sacrificed to stay together. Is it necessarily more fair that the person who doesn’t want marriage/kids must give up what they want? It’s not a gender thing, I don’t even think it’s a blame thing. Just that, if someone stands up for what they want, I don’t think they can be faulted for it, especially on such big decisions as bringing another life into the world.

      • jaye says:

        I hear what you are saying, but it’s unfair to the other party if they were honest about their ideas on marriage/family to expect them to just change their views because you have. Being in love with someone and not being with them hurts like hell, but so does being with them and making sacrifices that ,in reality, no one asked you to make. It’s far better for your whole self to let the relationship go so that you can find an existence that is fulfilling for YOU. I feel for JW too, but she chose the bed, she made it, and now she can either lie in it or get the hell out.

    • L says:

      What is it Maya Angelou said? ‘If someone tells you who they are, believe them.’

      So yea, if your guy/gals tells you they aren’t into marriage/kids/dogs-you should believe them. Yes you can compromise on some things, but you can’t change someone. You can’t stick around for years and convince them. You CAN change your own mind. But you can’t get bitter or angry when someone sticks to who they have been the entire time. It’s not because they don’t love you or love you less. It’s just who they are. Believe them.

      I just get annoyed when people think they can change someone.

    • Liberty says:

      I totally agree with you, min76. I might add, who knows, maybe she is not into marriage either, actually, and is happy as it stands? Like French, when I didn’t feel like getting tied down with marriage, I kept meeting men who were way too eager to have babies and rings with dessert. I am married now, to the first man I ever wanted to marry (even I was shocked when I heard myself saying “yes!”) but I totally get that sometimes life is fine or perfect without marrying. So I also have to wonder if maybe this Jondongery is part of his PR to snatch up the roles George is looking too crumbly-icon for…

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Yup. You can’t change a man.

        I completely understand what it’s like to be so batshit crazy over someone that you suddenly find yourself making constant concessions but you just have to get real with yourself at some point.

        Women need to stop worrying about appearing selfish and put themselves and their needs first once in a while.

        I don’t feel bad for Jennifer.

    • Annie says:

      Yeah, I agree. My sister dated this guy, a plastic surgeon with a huge ego. Super cold dude, insufferable, he thought he was la creme de la creme, and when they first started dating he made it clear: I don’t believe in marriage, I’m not getting married, ever. She did want to, of course. So she wasted 4 years of her life with him thinking he would change his mind, falling for him and not knowing how to break it off when it wasn’t working. Both made horrible mistakes: he didn’t let her go when he knew they wanted different things (it was nice having a pretty girlfriend with an influential father afterall). That was selfish…. and she excepected him to change who he was for her and even forgave his cheating ways and his drunken ways just to stay together. Both wanted the other to do the opposite of what they always wanted. They wasted each other’s time and when time came, they had a really nasty break up. He had a new girlfriend, 9 years younger than my sister, just two weeks later. She was devastated.

      My sister ended up marrying some poor guy out of spite a few years later (married him less than a year after dating/knowing each other), making the biggest mistake of her life. She has a horrible marriage, the fight a lot, and now she is the one who denies him babies and basically punishes him for what her ex did to her. She doesn’t love him and picked a not very suitable mate. He doesn’t work, he’s immature and very spoiled. Big mistake. All to prove her ex someone else would mRry her.

      I always say this: bad relationships can ruin you and change who you are forever. Never lie to yourself and think things are going fine when they are not. Always be careful who you give your heart to. Marriage is not everything. Better no marriage than a bad marriage.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @Annie-wow, I feel like I need mood elevators after reading that story! Wow, that is awful and your sis is basically living my biggest fear.

        It’s always a prelude to disaster when you’re dating someone just to spite an ex, even worse if you end up MARRYING someone just to spite an ex.

        I used to have trouble recognizing whether I was over a guy or not. Now, I think the easiest “test” I give myself:
        If I’m still thinking of him in ANY capacity-even if it’s anger-then I’m not over him.
        If anything he does generates a reaction from me-talking to a new girl, Fbing photos of himself with a female friend-then I’m not over him.

        That’s why the whole “easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else” is such a crock of sh*t to me. I think the only way you get over someone is giving yourself time to be alone and let yourself feel angry/sad/hurt whatever without the distraction of a new relationship. Regroup and eventually, hopefully fall for someone AS HARD (that is key) as you did for your ex.

        Sorry this might have been totally off-topic ;)
        I just think about that a lot because my biggest fear is investing time/energy/love with someone who isn’t The One. Definitely makes commitment hard for me.

      • Annie says:

        It’s horrible, right? And it’s sad because she is making her husband’s life a living hell. Her ex was 8 years older than her so she thought “I need someone younger so I don’t get played.” Ended up with this guy who is 5 years younger and makes his life so damn difficult always picking fights, insulting him, belittling him, telling him he’ll be a horrible father and that’s why she won’t give him a child, all of this when actually told him while dating that she wanted to have lots of babies. He cannot take it anymore! They’ve been married for only two years! He actually met with my mom and told her “I can’t do this anymore. Your daughter is impossible” She’s crazy. And all because some guy totally messed with her head and she let him!! This is why I always tell people: do not put up with any kind of abuse. Don’t stay in bad relationships. They can drive you crazy!!! Forever!!! Cheaters, abusers, etc. Stay the hell away from them. No drama please.

        Don’t be afraid that this will happen to you. I’m always afraid that I will find an awful man because my sisters have had nothing but bad relationships but then I remind myself that I don’t make the bad decisions that they’ve made. Do things for the right reasons. Don’t do anything with a bad intention or it will blow up in your face.

      • Victoria says:

        Wow Annie. Your last paragraph hit home! I haven’t been the same after my last serious relationship 4 years ago. You are never the same after a bad breakup.
        I totally think she’s more into him than he her. Just look at the pictures of her mooning over him. It’s sad but she stays cause she compromises or they’re genuinely happy.

      • diana says:

        @Annie, thanks for sharing. I feel for your sister. I used to work in counselling, and after meeting people like her who have been emotionally abused by their exes, you sometimes lose trust in humanity. (I worked with women mostly, so I’m almost always biased towards them)

        @originalkitten, I admire you for your strength and self control. Ideally people should be like you, but the more I live my life, the more ambiguous and blurry the lines between what I should feel and what I should do become. You are doing a good job protecting yourself. Wish I could learn that.

        @Victoria You are very right. A bad relationship just f**ks with your mind. Now I advise all my friends to approach a relationship like a practical business contract, particularly if they had already been burned once. I advise them to sit down with their partners and write down what they both want, and talk a long time about their shared goals. Still, most of them are led by their emotions. But I understand that too. So this scenario is closer to home and I feel bad for Westfeldt without pointing finger at her bf.

  7. diana says:

    *sigh* Women always appear to get the short end in relationships, even the successful and beautiful ones.
    I know I’m making too generalised a statement, but 90%of the relationships I have seen are like that. Definitely statistically significant.

    • RobN says:

      If women didn’t try so desperately to be in a relationship, they wouldn’t always be giving the power to the man they’re with. They get the short end because that’s what they’re willing to accept.

      • Annie says:

        This this this RobN. So many women are willing to take cheating, abuse and no love or passion just to not be alone. They surrender the power to horrible men. And it’s worse when they are obsessed with getting married whether or not it works out.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        True, true, true. Almost too true.

        Being single isn’t bad or sad or scary. Whatever one’s attitude towards not being in a relationship may be, you will spend some time in your life as a single person. You can spend your life thinking that by yourself is being ALONE, and you can spend years and years of your life crying, but it…if you find yourself in that position and do nothing to change your perspective, you’re being stupid. You can’t punish other people for what someone did, you can’t spite people into loving you and the Lifetime Channel (apparently coming to a Canada near you) doesn’t give a flip about and feeds your neuroses.

      • jinil says:

        “[W]e accept the love we think we deserve.”

      • jaye says:

        True. Horribly sad…but true.

      • diana says:

        True. You only suffer because you allowed yourself to be hurt. But I think it is very easy for women to get hurt in relationships.
        1.They are brought up with stupid fairy tales, princess fantasies and romantic ideas.
        2. The society (ironically, women – and I’m not trying to exonerate myself, I’m on a gossip site ascribing emotions to a person who I know pracctically nothing about) so women are at risk of being judged for their relationships, more than men (and judgement here not only means scorn but also pity)
        3. Womens’ biology itself – prone to maternal ‘drive’ and hormonal fluctuations etc..
        4. Some men, who are selfish and insensitive (I can’t find fault with them too because they are just following ‘norms’ and are admired for their ambition)
        So a woman should be extra stronger not to get hurt by a bad relationship. Fact.

      • Mrs. Ari Gold says:

        Well, look at the stigma that older, single women have to deal with – that’s one of the reasons they are so desperate and willing to put up with anything. If we decided to stop the stigma maybe things would be different for women.

        Also – If all women collectively decided that we would drop men who are childish or selfish then maybe men would start to change. But they don’t because they know that women will put up with anything and if they don’t then there’s another woman willing to put up with it right around the corner.

  8. Miss Kiki says:

    Let’s say this is true. Unless he has lied to her for the whole time they’ve been together and continually said ‘Oh next year baby, I promise it’ll be next year’ Then I don’t have any sympathy for her. If he’s been upfront with her the whole time and she hung around hoping he’d change his mind then that’s all on her.

  9. JulieM says:

    Yes, it’s pretty obvious that she is holding on tight; just look at what she has done to her face. I have always been very negative about all the crap she has done to herself, but I am now starting to feel a little sorry for her. Maybe she thought over 14 years, she could wear him down about marriage. Looks like it’s not going to happen. Also- it looks like she was always the one to compromise; give things up for him. At least since he’s hit it big anyway. But now the Hamm dong is starting to look a little over baked.

    • Jaded says:

      JulieM – I was going to mention this in my post but you already did – I have a feeling this is why she’s screwing with her face so much, dying her hair that atrocious yellow blonde, because she’s clinging to him despite whatever issues they’ve had about marriage & children. You see younger pictures of her and she’s so pretty, natural and fresh looking with her natural hair colour and without all that surgery.

      Hollywood, it will really screw you up.

      • Annie says:

        Her surgery is terrible. Her face looks nothing like it used to. What a bad idea. But she’s feeling insecure because he’s gorgeous and has probably cheated recently.

        One of my mom’s friends (lol at me telling everyone’s stories here) got EVERYTHING done after her husband had a child out of wedlock: lyposuction, lyposculpture, breastlift and implants, nose job and new lips. Everything. He’s still a dick.

        It’s sad because women are expected to stay after a man cheats and make themselves feel responsible for it. Society teaches you that you have to hold on and that maybe it’s your fault because you let yourself go or can’t satisfy him. But if you cheat as a woman? Leave her, she’s a whore, you can do so much better.

        It’s sad. I feel bad for her.

  10. Mia 4S says:

    When someone shows you their true colors, believe them. As long as he made no promises and didn’t string her along, there is no issue here. Also, he was orphaned by age 20 ( Mom died when he was 10) so I could see his thoughts on settling down being not standard.

  11. CTgirl says:

    What has she done to her face? It looks like only two, maybe three, facial muscles can move. Yikes.

  12. Hillshmill says:

    I think his a funny guy and I do enjoy Mad Men. But he seems like the kind of guy twho woyld date a woman forever without getting hitched (14 years?!) and then marry his jump off within 6 months.

  13. Cirque28 says:

    Hamm’s baby blue cardigan and white shirt w/ popped collar is for a role, right? If not… wow.

    I wonder if fate balances the scales by giving beautiful people absolutely no clue how to dress themselves.

  14. Angi says:

    He has been in the press for awhile and has been pretty clear that marriage and babies are not important to him. So….

  15. Esmom says:

    I don’t know, I think the story might be BS, written by a Mad Men writer wanna-be. The quotes from Hamm about “there’s the door,” sound suspiciously like Don Draper!

  16. Saphana says:

    Oh the old “i can change him”. too bad so many women ruin most of their lives with that.

  17. Amanda says:

    Ugh Jon Hamm. I don’t get the appeal at all. Everything about this guy screams “smug jerk”. He just has a face that’s begging to be punched and in interviews he comes across like a real prick. Am I the ONLY one who doesn’t like him? Seems like everyone is smitten.

    • Lady_Luck says:

      Agree with you, Amanda. “Smug jerk” just about sums him up. Maybe he should get with Scarjo – a match made in smug-heaven :D


      • Esmom says:

        Smug heaven. Lol! Actually he doesn’t strike me as nearly as smug as other celebs (*cough Clooney cough*), but rather sort of awkward. Maybe it comes off as smug…kinda like when someone is shy they may be branded as aloof or stuck-up? Happened to me when I was a kid.

      • Sara Belum says:

        I see the awkwardness you mention, but only when he’s asked to fulfill a man role; appears much more comfortable engaging in man-boy behavior. Indicative of a strong resistance to that last phase of growing up … the ever common adult adjustment reaction.

    • RobN says:

      Totally agree. I don’t get him at all; he throws off such an a-hole vibe.

    • Adrien says:

      Agree, Amanda. My mom often tells me he’s a beefcake version Steve Carell and that Steve’s sexier.

    • holly hobby says:

      I actually liked him as a Gman in The Town. Other than that, the only movies I’ve seen from him was Bridesmaids and Friends with Kids.

      I’ve seen Jennifer on Grey’s Anatomy. I think she played a pregnant woman who had a brain tumor or something like that.

      Don’t know if this story is true.

      In Friends with Kids you see these pictures of her and Adam Scott when they were younger (apparently they are real life friends so in the part where they flip through that scrapbook, those photos are probably real) and she looks totally different. The only photos I’ve seen of her are with her new face. What does her old face look like?

    • MST says:

      I agree, he seems like a real bastard I never thought he was particularly handsome. He belongs to the Ben Affleck/Richard Gere Beady Eye Club.
      I don’t like men with beady eyes, it makes them look sneaky.

      Everyone is so negative about marriage these days. If you find the right person it can be wonderful. My daughter is getting married in June 2013 and I really like her fiance. Unlike my marriage, I hope hers lasts and that she lives happily ever after!

      • Hakura says:

        God, I know what you mean about ‘beady eyes’… that has always bothered me (& prevented me from -ever- understanding the big deal over Richard Gere…) I can’t help but get a ‘creepy’ vibe from ‘beady eyes’.

        I’ve never really gotten Hamm’s appeal either. *shrugs*

    • Camille (TheOriginal) says:

      I completely agree with everything that Amanda said.

      I’m so happy to see that there are other woman out there that don’t think that this guy is all that. I’ve never, ever gotten his appeal either.

  18. Tania says:

    People are entitled to change their minds. I wasn’t sure I wanted kids but years later, had a change of heart and am now the proudest and happiest mom ever. It was truly a calling for me.
    If she has changed her mind about marriage or kids, she should move on. Those are really big regrets to live with. The woman is stunningly beautiful and seems like such a peaceful, happy person. I’m sure she’d have no trouble finding someone else!

  19. MoxyLady007 says:

    I love Jennifer. She is so talented. She makes me interested in Jon Hamm. Otherwise I find him very “meh”. Just me, I know. :)

  20. LG says:

    Her face is a triangle… this woman is a human triangle, a distant cousin of Spongebob Squarepants

  21. Ming says:

    If my house burned and some “The Enquirer” masterchief-idiot-troll reporter came by my house and told me it burned:

    Masterchief-idiot-troll reporter from The Enquirer: OMG your house !!!!

    Me: What ?

    Masterchief-idiot-troll reporter from The Enquirer: Your effin house burns, omg, wtf – HEEEELP !!!!

    Me: You’re a masterchief-idiot-troll reporter from The Enquirer, I don’t believe you a single word. *goes back into house, burns to death*

    Masterchief-idiot-troll reporter from The Enquirer: OH MY f-cking god.

    Whyyyyyyyyyy, do you keep posting sh-t from the masterchief-idiot-troll reporters from The Enquirer ? Do you have no shame or gossip honor ?

  22. Sirsnarksalot says:

    People don’t need to get married to make a commitment to each other. The fact that they’ve made it 14 years and still look at each other lovingly and are actively supporting each other’s careers is proof of that. Assuming a woman needs a husband and a baby to be happy is 1950′s propaganda. Neither has said they want that so why are people so insistent that one of them does? I LOVE this couple and Friends With Kids was great by the way.

    • Chelley says:

      THANK YOU! And the fact that they’ve made it together for so long, in HOLLYWOOD, more than anyone else’s marriage, says a lot. I hate the notion that marriage = commitment and everything else doesn’t. Since when has marriage ever stopped people from stepping out? A commitment is what you make of it.

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      Exactly. Why should I pity her, because some sweater set in a minivan declared herself to be some of conjugal oracle who has divined every flaw and failing of a stranger? Yeah, she’s a real fuck-up because someone else decided that she decided to try and change a man. Of course she wants marriage and babies and she’s been lying about it hiding a change of mind. She’s no more annoying than the woman so many of us have encountered who obsessed over the nuclear family to her friends and family and instantly can’t stop bitching about both the second after she gets those things.

      There’s always some dissatisfaction, always some way to be annoying and grating and no demographic has a lock on desperation.

  23. hopperlea says:

    Jon Hamm is one of those guys that will date a woman for years, like Westfield, because they do not believe in marriage etc, but as soon as that relationship breaks up, they are married and expecting a baby within a year to someone new. Hamm has this written all over him. I can totally see him married to someone new in the next few years leaving Jennifer out in the cold, regretting that she wasted a good amount of her life on him.

  24. Feisty says:

    I do feel bad for her if she believed the fairy tale that she could change him.

    I also find it interesting that when there were rumors he was wandering, people were commenting here that “She went to HARVARD! There’s no way she would stay and put up with that!” Harvard has nothing to do with relationship smarts or backbone.

    I think it’s pretty clear what she’s willing to put up with, and she doesn’t look like a happy person.

    • kibbles says:

      Hadn’t realized she attended Harvard, but I agree that book smarts doesn’t equal relationship smarts or common sense in everyday life. Have known and met many Ivy League women who end up alone or in bad relationships with equally smart and educated men.

      I don’t think she is a total wallflower in the relationship. She could very well wear the pants in various aspects (referring to several comments who bring up that possibility). That still doesn’t mean he isn’t denying her very major things that she may want in life, marriage and children being included.

  25. Mrs. Ari Gold says:

    I think Hamm is hell to be with and HE KNOWS IT. He knows what an emotional wreck and pain in the ass he is so he feels too guilty to leave JW after all he’s put her through before he was rich and famous.

    He had a hellish childhood with both parents dying when he was young. I think this makes him overly attached and he can’t leave. It also makes their bond deeper – they’ve been through a lot together. I’m not sure I ever see them breaking up.

  26. ohyeahhhhh says:

    I was lucky enough to run into them on the street here in Toronto during TIFF a couple of years ago. I was was with a photographer who offered to take a photo of me with the Hamm (who could refuse). He was VERY deferential to Jennifer, and asked her if it was ok, and she smiled sweetly and stood back out of the shot. I got the impression at that time anyway that he was very much in love and she was the boss…hard to believe, but that’s the vibe I got in that brief encounter.

  27. Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

    Charlie Sheen called…he wants his rug back.

  28. Lucy2 says:

    I think all this stuff about them is tabloid fiction, just looking for a story where there isn’t one. They’ve been together for 14 years, they obviously discussed what they both want. If one changes their mind, which people can do, that might change things, but as of right now they’re together, so I say just let them be.
    Also Mad Men has been around for over 5 years, it’s time for the tabs to stop acting like it’s something new and therefore he must be itching to break free, with all his sudden success and fame. They should have written these stories years ago, if the hit show and fame is their theory.

  29. Dorothy says:

    Jennifer has been with this man for 14 years, hoping, pining,waiting and wondering..when will it all end? He has made up his mind what he wants, so she either just deal with it or move on. Ultimatums and threats don’t cut it because Hamm has his pickin’s and they aren’t slim.

    I agree with hopperlea, lots of women will put up with a man for years, even have kids with him and he goes off and marries someone else. I also agree with FEISTY who said that going to an ivy league school has nothing to do with relationship issues. You can be a braniac but if you don’t have sense when it comes to relationships, you can get crossed.

  30. MSMLNP says:

    When I first got engaged, my nana told me “make sure he loves you more than you love him”. I thought it was an awful thing to say at the time, but as time has passed I believe this to be some of the wisest words I have ever been told. Sexist, maybe…cynical, definitely!!!

    The body language between these two (and Garner/Affleck while I’m at it) says that she is more into him. Good luck with that Jen(s)!

    • Jayna says:

      I tend to agree to a degree, or just as much in love with each other. If you love your spouse a lot more than he shows his love for you, I think it might become very lonely in the relationship as the years go by when it becomes more apparent than the early years. But I would never marry a man that loves me “a lot” more than I love him. I would be uninspired in the marriage if I wasn’t crazy about my husband. The bitchy side would come out far more, instead of the “wanting to please” side.

  31. G says:

    So, I get when someone says, they don’t need a piece of paper, or a party or the blessing of the church or state to formalize their relationship.

    I respect this point of view. I do have to say, however, that while the generally accepted rules of marriage are well known, the rules of the alternative are not.

    When someone says I don’t believe in marriage…..

    Does he mean- My intention is to be completely committed to you and build a life with you. We expect to grow and change and repond to each others needs as they develop over time?

    Or- I care about you and I’m here as long as I want to be. I’m not ever going to consider your feelings now or in the future about any changes of heart and if you can live with things alway being on my term, sure, let’s get together.

    Or- I’m here but I’m going to keep doing what I want. I’m hedging my bets and I’m open to meeting new women who will accept a similar arrangement.

    Or- I don’t need marriage, but if Jennifer Aniston ever give me a second look, I’ll put Cartier on speed dial.

    In all but the first case, it’s great to be the one interpreting the rules to suit yourself. Not so great to be the partner who has to live out the time to find out what exactly what kind of commitment they do or don’t have?

    • Yoga Steak says:

      De-lurking to say, Best. Comment. Ever.

    • kibbles says:

      Great comment. It is usually the guy who says they don’t believe in marriage, it’s just a piece of paper, etc. because they want to be in a relationship on their own terms. Marriage isn’t everything, but not being married is a very easy way out for someone who isn’t sure about whether they want to be with the same person for the rest of their life. It would be different if they had children and didn’t want to get married because at least her (possible) desire to be a mother would be fulfilled regardless of what happens to their relationship. However, the vibe I’m getting from some of Westfeld’s interviews is that she does in fact want children (or the issue has been nagging at her) and Hamm wants neither marriage or children at this time, so she compromises her desires to be with him. Come on man, give the woman something for having her put up with you for 14 years!

      • taxi says:

        It goes both ways – he has put up with her for 14 years too. Kids are a lifetime commitment, regardless of how the relationship between the parents evolves. It is completely unfair & wrong to expect to unilaterally change the original agreement and blame the other person who sticks to their original rules.

  32. Skipper says:

    If a man refuses to marry you after 14 years its because he’s not sure he wants to be with you forever. If he’s not sure after 14 years then that really means he has decided he doesn’t. He’ll dump her when she gets too insistent or he finds someone else worth marrying.

    • jaye says:

      OR…this NE story could be complete bs and they will ride into the sunset…happily UN-married. Truth is, none of us know what their relationship dynamic is. They could very well be 14 years together and not married because that’s how they like it.

  33. LeslieM says:

    I can’t stand that guy every since I saw him in that Bride’s Maids movie. I think that character is more true to the guy he really is. Dump him and move on!

  34. dahlianoir says:

    This guy has been a huge disappointement, with these blind items about him. Not even his dong can save his face!

  35. Alana Fajina says:

    He seems like Utter Douchey Garbage to me. I’m not surprised if this is true and I’m not entirely convinced he isn’t getting some side play anyway. Although this Is NE you are talking about so… I wouldn’t read too much into it. Slow news day huh ladies?!

  36. lori says:

    I wonder if she’s not stuck in the same media trap that Jennifer Aniston has been. Not really wanting a baby but the media needs her to want one. The men still get away with saying that they ” like kids but just don’t want to be a parent themselves”. Women in HW just can’t seem to get away with that.

    • diana says:

      Don’t think she is that dumb.
      By the way, don’t see people demanding babies from Paris Hilton or cameron Diaz. If there’s media frenzy, it is because of the celebs subtly creating it. All said and done, all celebs control media. It’s foolish portraying them as victims.

  37. Jayna says:

    When couples live together for years and never get married and say it’s not important, I always feel it’s not a dealbreaker, but for many of those women they would say yes immediately if asked.

    Even Julianne Moore, who lived with her now husband for many years and had children with him, always said they were fine just like they were, and they were obviously committed, having children together. When they got engaged, someone asked her why now getting married, and she was so honest and cute. She said, Because he asked. LOL

  38. dooliloo says:

    Reminds me of a girl I knew who met a guy who was whoring around and not into commitment at all, and after 3 months of dating and him cheating on her anyway, she fell pregnant and decided to keep the baby, thinking he’d stay with her… Which he did but still cheating on her, and she kept living in denial on his cheating antics. Then she pulled a big move and said she was moving back to Oz (where she’s originally from) with the baby, hoping he’d follow her there. Which he did as the guy is an opportunistic to start with, the girl had a job a nice flat and money and was in PR when they 1st met, and he was starting some so called artistic project so he needed to save money he said… which never happened, he stayed at home doing next to nothing and it’s not like they couldn’t afford a nanny. She supported him, the baby and the rent. So anyway she moved back to Oz, he followed her over there as he didn’t have anymore money and thought about the dreamy life, landscape, beach, surf, the baby is anyway in daycare, whereas she thought that taking him away from the city would mean taking away his cheating nature… Well he’s working in a café, the beach happens once a month, his unwanted folks in-law are there once a week to check on the unwanted baby, the most exciting things are visits to the zoo.. One day he stopped using protection as y’know he wanted to feel her vagina alive.. he got her pregnant for the second time…and she’s keeping the baby, much to his despair.
    Now he’s blaming her for everything, saying that he never loved her anyway, he only stayed for the baby, and she’s blaming him for not being a supportive partner nor father, and she says that she thought he wanted another child, but never mind whether he likes it or not she’s keeping it. So he pulled a macho move and told her that well she called so if they must live under the same roof, then she needs to be OK with him seeing someone else. She kicked him out in the middle of the night and he told her he hated her. Then he realized he was in Oz, a big land unknown to him, he had nowhere to go, it was different from Europe where had at least mates he’d count on to spent a night or two.. So he had to go back to the house and apologize and be miserable.
    Things is none of them want to admit their mistakes and blame the other of their “sacrifices”, he stayed with her, she supported him etc… People make the decision for themselves and yet resent the other for it.. What?
    I wish them a very happy life together. Did I mention the guy happens to be an ex? :-D

  39. bettyrose says:

    If there’s any truth to this I think it’s probably because they were once equals and now he’s more successful and desired, so her status in the relationship is less secure

  40. Isa says:

    If he did indeed tell her that he would never marry her, I respect that more than men who string their partners along with vague statements like “maybe in a few years”, “not now”, “when our finances are more settled”, etc.

  41. april says:

    I saw an interview with Jon & Jennifer on tv a couple of years ago and Jon said for all “intents and purposes” they are “married.” He said if Jennifer really wanted to get married he would marry her. He said he did not want to have kids and he only thinks marriage is important if you have children. Jennifer was silent the whole time and at the end she said they have a couple of dogs.

    You could tell she just went along with whatever Jon said but she looked sad about it to me. I respect him for saying he would marry her if she really wanted it, but I’m old school and feel if he really wanted to marry her he would have.

  42. kibbles says:

    I’m a feminist and I don’t believe that all women want or are meant to walk down the aisle and have children. That being said, many women want children because it is a natural biological desire that can’t be explained. Some people don’t want a family but I believe most people do. For those who want one, it can be absolutely devastating to be in love with a person who doesn’t believe in marriage and doesn’t want children. To be with someone for 14 years and have them tell you to take a hike just because you want to seal the deal legally with a ring and ceremony? Please, that person is a grade-A jerk. Most of us normal people outside of Hollywood would not put up with it. If you want marriage and children and the guy you’re with isn’t talking about it even 3 years into a relationship, it is time to move on before your ovaries dry up. Sorry, but things are just different for us. Men can wait as long as they want. Many men today don’t have that biological urge because they know they no longer need to settle down in their 20s and 30s to “have it all” if they want to have a career and family (with a much younger woman!) later in life. If a man doesn’t care enough about you to take that into consideration, he’s not worth your time. Her depression and need to hold onto a man who doesn’t really want her might also have driven her to do all of that horrible plastic surgery to look young. I find it incredibly sad.

  43. thinlizzy says:

    jen will get dumped by Hamm and she will quietly settle for boatloads of $$$$ as his common law wife.

  44. crtb says:

    What a bunch of hypercrites!
    When Justin wouldn’t marry Heide after 14 years, he’s a creep. But when this guy wont marry his longtime girlfriend and tells her to let the door hit her on the way out, there is understanding for his position?? If you are dating a guy for 14 and he hasn’t proposed,doesn’t mean he isn’t into marriage, it means he’s not going to marry YOU! You are not “The One”

    • Irishae says:

      Finally someone brought this up! What a double standard. I mean I’m all for scathing commentary on celebs (I LOVE this site so don’t get me wrong) but there is a lot of stuff I’m reading here that frankly comes across as judgmental, bitter, and ignorant.

      Perhaps some of you are happily married, in which case consider yourself lucky. Maybe you got burned similarly in the past that being a bitch to this chick is somehow making up for your own inadequacies. Not sure, but it’s just…weird.


    • Isa says:

      I didn’t think Justin was a creep for not wanting to get married. He was a creep for telling the long-time girl that he didn’t want to get married when he actually didn’t mind getting married when someone “better” came along. This hasn’t happened with JH/JW. Yet, anyway. When/if that happens, he will be as much of a slimeball to me. Actually, I don’t even like JH or watch Mad Men.

      The only position I will take here is that at some point, if your partner says he is just NOT going to get married and have children and keeps on saying that for years, then to stay with him in spite of that becomes a concious decision. And it is possible not to want those things and it has nothing to do with finding “the one”. I have never ever wanted, even from when I was a young girl, to have any children. I’ve never been interested in other people’s children either. I’m not going to just have a child to please my partner either, because it would be terribly unfair for a kid to have a disinterested mother, I think.

      • JulieM says:

        “This hasn’t happened with JH/JW.”

        Yet. True enough, Isa. Justin didn’t want to marry Heidi. The proof: he didn’t marry her. He does want to marry Jen. No proof yet, of course, until they actually do it.

        Someone “better” coming along? No, just someone he wants to marry. Justin and JHamm both.

        Crtb is spot on. This story is as old as the hills.

      • Isa says:

        Oh, I said “better” instead of just better because what I meant to convey is not that Jennifer Aniston is actually demonstratably better than the ex, but that Justin for whatever reason, sees her as a better wife candidate.

        I’m not saying that some people don’t use “I don’t believe in marriage” as a cop-out but I do think that some people, of either gender, sincerely have no wish to do the whole married with kids thing. Not knowing any of the players involved I can’t say for sure if any of them fall into that category. But as hard as it seems for some people to believe, it does happen. Again, I don’t know him, but does Clooney really seem like he WANTS to settle down and have children? With anybody?

        That for me is the difference between Theroux and Hamm for now. One has already proven that he was hiding behind an excuse and the other hasn’t. YET.

  45. fritanga says:

    Ah. Westfeldt was with Hamm when he was a waiter at Cuidad (before it was the Border Grill) in downtown LA, and she’s with him now, when he’s hot shit. What’s wrong with this picture? Your moment has passed, girl. Take the payout and move on.

    I still love him (he’s a terrific actor) but he and Justin Theroux are cut from the same cloth. Now Hamm just has to find his “Aniston” (although I’ll bet she’ll be a LOT younger) and the new order will be complete.

  46. NE1 says:

    Stupid tuxedo jacket, getting in the way of his bulge. At least there was a second pic that showed it. hehe.

  47. lisa2 says:

    Reading the comments about how women waste their lives waiting for a man to “change his mind” about family/marriage.
    well that same thing happens with men. Some men want family/children. They make that known at the beginning of the relationship. Then they marry a woman that tells them she wants the same thing and then WHAM she changes her mind or keeps putting it off. So should the man wait it out or does he too have the right to move on and build his family with someone else. This Jennifer is being called a fool because she didn’t “get the hint” now she is older and maybe having children seems so far off or not possible. Well I feel that men have the right to move on just like so many here are saying Jennifer should have.

    I am just ROTFLMAO at so many of the comments. How different they are when it is the Man and who that man is. Some of you need to recall what you have ranted about for years and how all of a sudden when the players change the narrative does too.

  48. alys says:

    If a guy or woman has not married you in the 14 years you have been together, well, odds are he/she never will.

  49. Gigohead says:

    I think this is a lot of “malarkey” if you ask me. They have been together for many years and I’m sure this subject of family has been discussed to death I bet both decided that is not what each wanted. But if a fake story will get me to see more this this sexy fine man…bring on more HAMM..what a sexy man!!!

  50. Amanda_M87 says:

    If thats true she should leave him. I would never stay with a man who says that he will never, ever marry me.

  51. Aubra says:

    The next film HBO does about an election, they need to get him to play Mitt Romney…

  52. eekahil says:

    I know it is shallow and I know my opinion about her and their relationship doesn’t matter at all in the scheme of things, but it’s just that whatever she’s done and apparently continues to do to her face weirds me out so much and makes me all judgey and unsympathetic towards her.
    I always think “How can he look at that freaky face all the time? What must she be like to do that to herself?”

  53. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    They’re grown-ups. They can mind themselves and be alright. Rumours aside, people don’t stay together for that long for no reason. People grow together, apart, change their minds or have epiphanies out of the blue, but I don’t think anyone but Don Draper himself could pull a fifteen year con.

    I had certainly heard of Jennifer Westfeldt and Justin Theroux years before all of this, neither one of them is the more famous mate in their relationships, and I wonder if that factors into the public images. Mr. T is considered by many to be a social climber who jumped out of love for increased visibility with a woman who has been famous (and famously single-mingle) for a very long time by Hollywood standards. Hamm gets the luxury of people being impressed by the fact that he hasn’t ‘traded up’ to a starlet and courted her loudly and in full view of every media out, which is kind of sad.

    Anyway, they’re not my problem.