Keanu Reeves is sad because he has “mild alopecia barbae” (a scruffy beard)

Did you know that Keanu Reeves is 48 years old? Vampire! When did he get so old? And how does he still look like the same dude that was in Point Break? Seriously, the only difference between Point Break Keanu and 2012 Keanu is grooming. Maybe his eyes look a bit more world-weary these days, but even then… he’s remarkably well-preserved for 48.

Anyway, as I mentioned, grooming is always an issue when it comes to Keanu. For his new film, Man of Tai Chi (insert eyeroll), Keanu was required to grow a beard. The problem, of course, is that Keanu grows facial hair the same way many teenage boys grow facial hair – in patches, unevenly, scruffily. Now the Enquirer is trying to make that into a thing. Sad Keanu is sad because he has “mild alopecia barbae”.

Keanu Reeves’ makeup artists are pulling their hair out over his splotchy beard! The 48-year-old actor’s thinning whiskers are creating a hairy problem because the character in his latest film has a full beard, say sources.

Keanu reportedly suffers from mild alopecia barbae, which inhibits hair growth around the beard region.

“As he gets older, and his beard gets patchier, it’s harder to cover up,” revealed a close friend. “His makeup artists have to spend extra time filling in the blanks. It’s been a huge headache for them and a serious hassle for Keanu to sit for so long in the makeup chair.”

But Reeves, who has been filming and directing ‘Man of Tai Chi’, has one thing to be thankful for.

“He’s glad the problem only involves his face and not his head,” said his friend. “In the big picture, having a splotchy beard isn’t so bad.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

I just checked and Man of Tai Chi is actually in post-production right now, so poor, sad Keanu doesn’t have to be sad for hours and hours in the hair and makeup trailer anymore. The film is also Keanu’s directorial debut. Isn’t that something? That a man whose performances are usually critically panned has been able to maintain (and thrive) in Hollywood for decades, to the point where he’s now somewhat “establishment” and respected enough to direct his first film, a moderately-budgeted martial arts film?

Sorry about all of this… I just like when I have the rare opportunity to write about Keanu. I do enjoy him a great deal. At worst, he’s harmless. At best, he’s a misunderstood genius who is living a more Zen Buddhist existence than most people can ever dream of achieving.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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63 Responses to “Keanu Reeves is sad because he has “mild alopecia barbae” (a scruffy beard)”

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  1. ReRe says:

    Mild alopecia barbae or not, Keanu can still hit it.

    • Miss Kiki says:

      Yup, yup, yup. Keanu and his sad eyes would get it HARD. If necessary I will fight you for him.

      • kay says:

        lol! let’s do this, miss kiki. i would happily wrestle medusa, a gorgon, ten dragons and more to hit on that fine man. he makes aging HOT. yum. i am not opposed to sharing, though? 😉 happy friday!

      • Miss Kiki says:

        Bring it. I will cut a b*tch to get to Keanu, or we could arrange a time share. I’m leaving it up to you, but know that I fight dirty.

        Happy Friday back at ya. I finish work in an hour yay!

      • Sandy says:

        OMG hilarious thread. I say time-share! 😉

  2. Phil E Stein says:

    Generally speaking I think the beard thing of the past couple of years has just about run its race.

  3. JM says:

    Blotchy beard or clean shaven, Keanu is my forever dong and has been since he crawled out from underneath Martha Plimpton’s bed in Parenthood. Tighty whities never looked so sexy!

  4. Skipper says:

    Glad that whole matrix thing is over. Those movies made me ashamed to be in love with him.

  5. Lucy2 says:

    So…Hollywood makeup teams can make Charlize Theron ugly, age Brad Pitt backwards, and turn Ralph Fiennes into Voldemort… but they can’t glue a fake beard onto this guy?

  6. MoxyLady007 says:

    He is beautiful. Unearthly beautiful. Like an angel.
    I hope he is happy. He has had a lot of sadness in his life.

    • Phil E Stein says:

      What sadness does he have in his life?

      • littlestar says:

        His girlfriend gave birth to a still-born and then the girlfriend died a few years later in a car crash. Very very sad stuff. I also believe he may have had a sister who died from cancer or some kind of incurable disease while she was in her early 20s.

      • LAK says:

        And his BFF River Pheonix died early in their respective careers.

        i do remember his dying sister. rumour had it that he took lots of time out after THE MATRIX to look after her in her final years which came very close to his still born baby and dead girl friend.

    • Marty says:

      You are so right! I never realized how much horrible stuff he’s actually had to go through and why everyone was noting that he was depressed. Hopefully things are looking up for him!

  7. yael says:

    as long as his hair is cut short, i would hit it all night long.

    good god, he’s beautiful.

  8. Khalesi says:

    I saw him once at a Whole Food’s in BH (he was in the checkout line just ahead of me) and I was struck by how otherworldy he seemed. So tall, so pale, so quiet. Made me think of Bowie in “The man who fell to earth.”

    • j.eyre says:

      Oh my stars! You referenced the original alien-man crush. Bless you. I shall ride a Bowie wave for the remainder of the day now. Cue ‘Space Oddity’

  9. myauntieisacat says:

    Yum I would so hit it. Keanu has always done it for me. He is gorgeous and has aged very well.

  10. V4Real says:

    Love him, love him; no matter what. I’ve loved him for years and that hasn’t changed one bit. He rocked in Street Kings. And did I say I love him.

  11. Adrien says:

    Him and Jared Leto seemed to stopped aging at 32 though I suspect Keanu had something done (botox?). He’s a good looking guy but he’s also bland, like Ryan Reynolds bland.

  12. effy says:

    Haven’t fallen out of love since i ever saw him on screen. Beautiful in a different way, that’s why i love him!

  13. judyjudy says:

    He’s never been my type but I agree he has aged well.

  14. Mira says:

    Keanu is gorgeous. I love The Matrix and he was perfect as Neo. The sequels were terrible, however.

  15. MJsinAustin says:

    Always Loved him and those soulful eyes.

  16. nareeman says:

    The movie in which he wears a beard is 47 ronins, in stills from man of tai chi (filmed in 9 months in china) he is well shaven.
    and he is a genius: he produced a documentary (side by side) where he interviews scorcese, lucas, nolan, fincher and loads of others top film makers about the digital revolution, it’s gathering oscar buzz believe it or not

  17. mk yarwood says:

    I loved him in Much Ado About Nothing. He was such an emotionless weirdo! He also was totally cast so the directors (Kenneth and Emma, ahem) could do him on the sidelines. He is such a Sad Keanu because, like a narcissus bloom, his beauty keeps him from true happiness *sniffle

  18. Victoria says:

    Love him!!! I would’ve hit in in Bill & Ted and I was in elementary school so I’m a weirdo. But yea he’s a vampire and I can be his other half forever… I clearly am avoiding work and errands to indulge in my fantasy with Keanu 😛

  19. Me says:

    Ok, I think he’s good looking and great, but I’m getting a major botox vibe from these pictures! Am I wrong?
    My sister saw him in a bar once and she said the angels came down from the heavens singing, because in person he is completely ethereal. He actually stood next to her to order a drink, and she couldn’t do or say anything. She was frozen with nervousness!

  20. Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

    Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure was the most excellent movie of its time 🙂

  21. Amandahugandkiss says:

    I co-sign on his innate scrumminess.

  22. lori says:

    I really don’t think he’s had any work done on his face. he really doesn’t seem like the type. and personally i’d rather have a man who gets a pathcy beard as he ages then one who get a hairy back.

  23. Scarlet Vixen says:

    I have always loved Keanu Reeves and thought he got a bad rap for his acting. I think he’s really a good actor, but has a voice that doesn’t emote well. I even invented “The Keanu Reeves School of Acting” for guys like that: Kevin Costner, Paul Walker and Jake Gyllenhall are graduates.(Yes, I’m a movie nerd.)

    And I don’t mind the splotchy beard at all. My hubs has been trying to grow a beard for a few months because he was a pilot for 12yrs and wasn’t allowed to have one. He’s also frustrated that it grows unevenly, but he just keeps it pretty short & well groomed. What woman likes big, long, puffy beards anyway?

  24. grabbyhands says:

    There aren’t many men that I would describe as being beautiful, but he’s one of them. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s always doing really kind things for other people.

    Clean shaven, bearded, long haired, short haired-I’d like to lick his face no matter what.

  25. j.eyre says:

    “Keanu Reeves’ makeup artists are pulling their hair out over his splotchy beard!” – pulled their hair out why? In a show of solidarity?

    Please, please always find something to write about Keanu. Even if it is just your mind’s musing on the subject. One can never have too much Keanu.

  26. mytbean says:

    He just seems so genuine and affected. Not shallow and plastic and driven by money 24/7 like most of Hollywood. It’s true, all you ever hear about is all the sweet things he does for the people around him. It’s refreshing.

    And when cloned sex-bots become a reality, I want one of him!

  27. Nanea says:


    That guy has such amazing charisma.

    I always thought Keanu’s splotchy beard was the result of an accident he had eons ago with his motorbike, some time in the last millennium.

  28. Violet says:

    I wish he’d shave his face — it’s so beautiful, it’s a shame to cover it.

  29. TLC0113 says:

    “I do enjoy him a great deal. At worst, he’s harmless. At best, he’s a misunderstood genius who is living a more Zen Buddhist existence than most people can ever dream of achieving.”

    Way to sum up EXACTLY how I feel about Keanu, and could never quite put into words.

    Well that, and I just think he’s sexy…

  30. d says:

    Saw him on Craig Ferguson. I think he’s an all right dude, & he handled himself well too. Kudos to him for being himself and not getting sucked all the way into the H-wierd BS. He does interesting things, he seems to keep to himself, and he low-key. What’s wrong with that.

  31. Samantha says:

    He was my first celebrity crush–back when I was eight-years-old and saw Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure for the first time. 25 years later, I still <3 him.

  32. Aqua says:

    No matter what he look like or what he’s doing.It’s always good to see him.

  33. Laura says:

    How can you not love Keanu!?

  34. silver says:

    OMG!!!!!!…….48 and he is still dis hot

  35. Ruffian9 says:

    I will always and forever love Keanu. That is all.

  36. Sugar says:


  37. msw says:

    In my world view, he is Pooh Bear. (Yes, The Tao of Pooh) So glad to see a bit about him. Dude!

  38. Lotta says:

    I would love to comfort him and make him smile!

  39. Sumodo1 says:

    I sat through “Lake House” twice, still didn’t get the movie, but what I really got was about 4 hours of alone time with KEANU!

  40. starsh says:

    Botox? Purleez.