Martha Stewart gets wasted & cooks dessert, loathes Rachael Ray

The National Enquirer’s cover story about Martha Stewart is hardly as damning as they make it sound. There’s a new tell-all book coming out about the homemaking mogul and the advance details in the Enquirer are pretty tame. Martha Stewart is said to have gone into a depression before she was jailed for insider trading in 2004 and to have hit the fine wine hard. When Martha drinks, she doesn’t eat bars of chocolate or bags of chips like the rest of us, she makes gourmet desserts and pigs out in style. Stewart’s binging is classy:

“Martha worked as a model as a young woman, and in public she’s always meticulously groomed. But family members will reveal that booze and eating binges left her bloated and disheveled before she went to jail,” said the publishing source.

“When she’s upset, she whips up fattening desserts and gourmet treats and washes them down with pricey fine wines. The authors will reveal that this behavior played out for days in Martha’s Connecticut home before she went off to prison in West Virginia.

“Martha also cried almost nonstop, and there were times when family members couldn’t get her to come out of her bedroom.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 22, 2008]

According to this new book, Martha Steward had to go to jail for five months so she cried a lot, drank for a few days and made herself tasty desserts. I would be doing much worse in that situation and my house wouldn’t be as spotless and ribboned as Stewart’s surely was at the time.

Stewart is said to “loathe” the competition Rachael Ray and feel that “Rachael is too common and does cooking a disservice by dumbing down the art of fine cuisine and food preparation.” She also hates Donald Trump for dissing her “Apprentice” spin off.

Meanwhile Martha’s “special friend” as mentioned on the Enquirer cover is just that. There’s no lesbian relationship even implied, and Martha never got down with the ladies in jail. I was hoping for some more scandal and maybe a gay romp or two, but Martha’s personal life seems to be as in order and wrapped up as her surroundings. She can even get wasted and make exquisite desserts that would put Rachel Ray to shame. I want to hang out with Martha Stewart and get some organizing advice and treats.

Martha Stewart is shown on 11/14/08 at the Grand Opening of the Fontainebleau Miami Beach. Credit: WENN

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35 Responses to “Martha Stewart gets wasted & cooks dessert, loathes Rachael Ray”

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  1. Bodhi says:

    I’d do the same damn thing! I love Martha & I’m right there with her in hating Rachel Ray

    Edit: I’d totally get drunk with her too :mrgreen:

  2. Kaiser says:

    I’m going to out on a limb here and say that if Martha needs a drink, she should get it. And I, for one, would love to get drunk with her.

    She’s so awesome.

  3. bros says:

    while i dont necessarily agree with the reasons she hates rachel ray, I’m there with her too. can’t stand that cow. hate her nasty food and stupid mannerisms.

  4. Baholicious says:

    Wine? Good! Dessert? Good! What’s the problem? “I love cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food.” (source: a fridge magnet of mine).

    Anybody remember Graham Kerr ‘the Galloping Gourmet?’ He was always loaded by the end of the show, which was only half an hour long :lol:

  5. jenn says:

    The show, Whatever Martha, which is hosted by her daughter Alexis, gives us far juicer tidbits of personal info about Martha’s life than this book probably will. The show is actually a bit obnoxious, but I do like it when her daughter reveals stuff about her childhood (she ended up going to therapy 3 times a week over it). Guess she didn’t like weeding for 10 hours a day.

  6. Bodhi says:

    I wish I had FLN just so I could watch Whatever Martha! It looks hilarious!

  7. daisy424 says:

    Baho :D Why I watched!
    Does anyone remember Dan Akroyd’s skits on SNL about Julia Child?

    Drinking is a must when ever I am cooking, you have to be drunk to eat what I prepare…..

  8. 99 says:

    After seeing her hanging out with Snoop Dog, there could be a fine spliff being burned along with those yummy desserts and fine wine. Party at Martha’s !!!

  9. IceBunny says:

    CB – I am with you all the way!! The women even does DEPRESSION in style!!!

    WTG Maaaaatha!

  10. Anne says:

    How could you not hate Rachel Ray??? Baho, I loved Graham Kerr’s older show but have you seen his 80s or 90s show where he takes all the fat and taste out of everything? It was truly awful.

  11. brista says:

    So we have reached a consensus, yes? We all hate Ray-Ray. I know I sure do.

    And I LOVE when Martha Stewart goes on Conan O’Brien. It’s so funny. Especially because he inevitably ends up tipsy. I also would have a drink with Martha, though I wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. She seems like she could be pretty tough to deal with if you cross her.

    (Also, I’m pretty sure there’s an extraneous A in Rachel’s first name somewhere, FWIW.)

  12. xiaoecho says:

    Not being American, I have no idea of Rachael Ray but I do know that other TV chefs LOATHE her. Why? – no-one can be that bad

  13. Ter says:

    The woman is stunning, no matter what age and I think that is what draws the likes of Snoop and, in part, Rosie. Her behavior towards others does come into question but there is no doubt she is a force to be reckoned with.

    And come on, her “depression” doesn’t seem much heavier than some people’s hormonal days. Mark Cuban should be only too happy to exhibit this behavior prior to the Big House stay. If he gets away with his “shiz” then we will know that Martha did indeed get a raw deal.

  14. aleach says:

    everytime i hear racheal ray say “YUM-O!” or call sandwiches “sammys” i want to pull my hair out.
    argh makes me mad just thinking about her!

  15. Baholicious says:

    Daisy, Aykroyd was brilliant!! I’d totally forgotten about that :D I have to go look on You Tube now for some vids.

    And Anne, Kerr eventually had to go into rehab…hence all the later boring cuisine and it was just. never. the. same.

  16. daisy424 says:

    Baho, I tried to find a link to post, but didn’t have luck on YouTube, I got distracted and started watching the SNL Night at the Roxbury videos instead. :oops:
    Jim Carey,Tom Hanks & Jack Nicholson, priceless. :lol:
    It’s a montage, 2 minutes long, good for a few laughs.

  17. Vampux says:

    I love Martha. I still watch all her new and old shows. I can’t even count how many ideas I got from her.

    She was going to jail for peach sake they should have put her in a winery the days before her sentence; the poor woman deserved it.

  18. MB Travis says:

    She is totally awesome! I always thought it was such a shame how the insider trading fiasco went down.

  19. NJMDPS says:

    Love Martha. She is OK with me. If she drinks wine, well, who doesn’t. Leave her alone. She paid her penance. Live well, Martha, and enjoy. I learned a lot from you and look forward to learning more. Thank you.

  20. ak says:

    I love Martha. I think she’s the high school National Honor Society president that you’re a little terrified of until she gets totally stoned at a party and tells you she’s jealous of your hair and then you’re BFFs for the whole summer. But you’re still kind of scared of her.

    I did a lot of research on her for a writing project, and it was revealing. She’s done some crazy things. But (and I know a lot of people think this is a cliche) if a man did the same things, no one would even mention them. And re things like her divorce, she’s said that no one knows better than she does that she screwed up badly. She’s human. And she was a scapegoat on the insider trading scandal.

  21. Ernestine says:

    God, I love you all for loving Martha Stewart. She’s the best, and I, too, would gladly get schwilled and eat truffles with her. ANYday. Prison doesn’t have to be a factor!

  22. Persistent Cat says:

    I’m drinking wine and eating truffles right now and I’m not facing jail time. I call it “the evening.”

    I want to punch Rachel Ray when she says, “it smells so good,” or says “E V O O” and then proceeds to tell us what it stands for? Why shorten it then, you dumb…….?

  23. IceBunny says:

    yes… we ARE all in agreement. Rachel Ray is the poster child of nails-on-a-chalkboard obnoxiousness, and the scourge of foodie television.

    why she has any fans at ALL freaks me out.

    long live Martha. please go away Rachel. Far far far away, where you cannot harm us with your nasal voice, ridiculous mannersims, and cheesebag cooking shortcuts any longer.

  24. Cheyenne says:

    Martha Stewart doesn’t exactly come off smelling like a rose garden, but Rachel Ray positively reeks of Eau de Trailer Park.

  25. PAllen says:

    When will the rasp clogged throat and insipid voice of Rachel go away? No freaking style, no couth, no depth. Martha rocks!!

  26. Cheyenne says:

    @Anne, #11: Fat cells carry taste. Lose the fat, lose the taste. It’s like those baked potato chips. They taste like styrofoam compared to the real thing.

    My daughter-in-law swears by Martha Stewart and subscribes to her magazine. I can’t say I’m a disciple of everything Stewart does — tying ribbons around stacks of towels in the linen closet just seems too cutesy-poo for words — but after following her how-to tips, I can fold the hell out of some fitted sheets. :mrgreen:

  27. Aspen says:

    It’s not Rachel Ray’s “dumbing down” of cuisine that I find offensive. It’s the fact that she talks too much, and so fast, and in so steady a stream that she is out of breath the entire program.

    So we’re listening to this woman pant and gasp for breath the entire half hour while she rambles on about nothing in particular. On top of that, there’s the ridiculous level of hyperactivity. She’s positively wild-eyed through most of the show, and you have to wonder what’s really IN that Starbuck’s cup she always carries around.

    She actually cooks the way I tend to do, and I’m a firm believer in comfort food and home-style cooking. That said, I’m a huge Martha fan.

    I think the only “scandal” about Martha is that she spent her early and most ambitious years mistreating everyone around her. She seems to have graduated from that into a kinder and more aware human being.

    I absolutely adore her.

  28. Sherrimp says:

    When does Whatever Martha come on? What station? I would love to see it. :D

  29. I love Martha. I have fond memories of laying on the couch, staying home “sick” from school and watching her show. I’d love to have a fancy microbrew or a glass of Franzia with her! (That’s as classy as I get.)

    As for Ray, I hate how she acts like she’s made some profound discovery every time she cooks. “You can even make this vegetarian, too! Just add vegetable broth . . .” Thanks for that. Truly inspirational.

    I love Martha almost as much as Alton Brown. If Alton Brown and Martha Stewart had a love child, the world would explode with a nerdy taste sensation!

  30. chessie says:

    Martha is an amazing woman. Her focus and her work ethic are incredible. I had the privilege of meeting her after a lecture, and she was gracious and lovely. No one builds an empire like hers without being one tough businesswoman, and I admire that, also. I also admire her taking her lumps with her prison term, and speaking of it as a positive life experience.

    She’s one tough broad, and I think she’s great.

  31. Ginger says:

    Martha has had some tough times recently. I think her mother died not too long ago too. And who doesn’t had Rachel Ray – just her voice alone!

  32. Miss Caroline says:

    Martha has worked hard all her life to get where she is. Whenever somebody is at the top of their game, some folks have to tear them down. As far a RR goes, she is a good hearted, somewhat annoying novice who can not be spoken in the same vein as M!

  33. edward, says:

    rachel talks wayyyy too much and she dont think what shes saying just like a magpie, or a minah bird,
    I saw the video of her before she was cooking and if its true,
    I mean if she was talking about sexual relations it was like a stupid porn star , talking about the body like it was cooking,
    i wouldnt want a woman like that in my life no way jose
    shed mess everything up and act like it was nothing,
    I mean she is such an airhead its rediculous and i wish she’d tone herself dowen a little so that shed respect herself more,
    shesreally an attractive girl and shes got a nice figure but shes wayyy too flaunty and she wants to get attention the wrong way,
    I mean i though t she was really attractive at first but the more you hear her talk , its like she dont think and she just goes off on a tangon all the time like some little bird that fluttering around in hopeless abandon,
    Paula Deen is my sweetheart,
    she can cook for me anytime and talk about anything she wants on her show, that lady has total class,
    and she’s a christian too,
    that makes it even more nice,
    I love her on QVC and her sausage is really incredible and her hams are something else, wowowowowow,

  34. Sal says:

    A lot of people here is talking shit about Rachael Ray, yes, she is annoying. I hate her laugh, but the girl is just trying to have a little fun. I mean, i have to admit I can be a bit of an obnoxious idiot too when i’m having fun, but that’s what makes it so fun. lol. plus with every sentence you talk about this girl with the annoying laugh, she gets fifty grand richer, so yeah.

  35. edward says:

    I like the Neely’s , they are really neat and gina is really cool as well as pat too,
    I like the way they work with each other and the BBQ stuff they make is really something,
    Rachel does have nice pans and i like her orange and green tile studio kitchen,
    its kinda 1950′s like,