Lindsay Lohan claims she’s “too sick” for court but flies back to LA in panic anyway

This ^^ is a photo of Lindsay Lohan arriving at LAX late last night. Can I just say? All week, I’ve had anxiety about Lindsay Lohan’s court appearance today in LA. Mostly my anxiety comes from a place of “How many times do I have to cover Lindsay Lohan’s courtroom shenanigans? Nothing ever comes from it anyway. Lady Justice pretty much gives her a handie and she’s on her way to more cracktastrophes.” But now I have anxiety for another reason – Lindsay made sure that her arrival in LA would get wall-to-wall coverage because she played a game of “Haha, I might not even show up to court, even though the judge ordered me to appear.” At first she claimed she might not come because she’s “sick”. Super-sick you guys. So sick that she needed some retail therapy in NYC and she totally can’t fly.

Lindsay Lohan is gonna be in a heap of trouble tomorrow … we’ve learned she will NOT be in an L.A. court Wednesday as required, because she claims she’s sick … but pictures prove otherwise.

We’ve learned Lindsay’s new lawyer, Mark Heller, submitted documents notifying the judge she’s too ill to fly. Heller submitted a note from a Park Avenue doctor who says Lindsay has an upper respiratory infection and can’t fly for her own safety as well as the safety of the public.

Heller also submitted an article from the New York Post from January 11, reporting that a flu epidemic has hit the Big Apple.

But take a look at the pictures showing Lindsay on an all-day shopping spree in SoHo Saturday — the same day the doctor allegedly examined her. She’s even smoking … which doesn’t seem like great idea for someone with a respiratory infection.

Interesting … the judge hasn’t even approved Heller — a New York lawyer — to appear in a California court on Lindsay’s behalf and already there are shenanigans.

As for Lindsay … she’s in trouble. The judge could issue a warrant for her arrest if the excuse proves bogus.

[From TMZ]

Now, the flu is a real thing, and it’s pretty rough this year. You know what else is going around? That awful Norovirus that I had around this time last year. If Lindsay actually had the Norovirus, I would give her a pass – but I know she doesn’t have it. The Norovirus knocks you flat on your ass, and you can’t even stand up and walk around without barfing. So, the “flu” it is. The kind of flu where you walk around shopping and smoking.

Anyway, TMZ got the “tip” (from Lindsay or Dina) that the threat of an arrest warrant being issued was hardcore enough to get the Cracken’s ass on a place. TMZ also says that Lindsay has been “begging” Shawn Holley to take her back, telling Shawn “she can’t stand Heller and wants it the way it was … problem is, Lindsay already made her bed and as we already reported, Holley is over Lindsay for good.” TMZ also says that Lindsay flew first class to LA because she was in a “panic” after their reporting. Sure.

One thing is for sure – this will be a major cracktastrophe.

I will never stop using these 2009 photos. EVER. Credit:

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59 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan claims she’s “too sick” for court but flies back to LA in panic anyway”

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  1. Sirsnarksalot says:

    Bitch busted! She better beg for mercy today or she’ll be checking into jail tonight. Judges do not like to be lied to.

  2. Betty says:

    This judge really needs to do something to her this time because Lindsay’s turning the legal system into a joke. She never learns and she just keeps thinking she can get away with anything. Watching her downfall used to be fun but now it’s just sad.

    • LadyJane says:

      What does she do to have to actually go to jail and serve a full sentence? Like murder someone in cold blood on live television? The legal system here is a joke and if she was poor and unknown, without access to a fancy legal team, they would have locked her up by now and thrown away the key.

  3. allons-y alonso says:

    Those last few photos make her look like the Wampa from Star Wars….

  4. Babette says:

    Please Lord, let Judge Sautner have time this morning to check out all the pics of this “too sick to appear” liar! Today might be the day that LIElo really meets Lady Justice! Based on the pic, I’m guessing LL had at least a few cracktinis on the flight.

  5. Lucy2 says:

    I would think the amount of chemicals and alcohol in her system would kill off any flu viruses!

  6. brin says:

    Something scared the crack out of the Crackie.

  7. Mirella says:

    I really hope this judge throws her in jail.

  8. emmie_a says:

    Where are the pics of her leaving NY?? Her face is insanely bloated. Sick my ass – she was hungover, if anything. And something I read & I don’t know if it’s true but I hope it is to illustrate that Lindsay can’t even get her lies straight… The dr said she has an upper respiratory infection and her lawyer told the judge she has the flu & sent an article about the flu… but supposedly the flu is a lower respiratory illness not upper. I know, semantics but I just wish the judge would call her out on the lie.

  9. logan says:

    Don’t know why she is in such a panic. We all know how this is going to go. She will show up, just in time. Do the ho stroll with Mrs. Crackhead behind her. Her puppet lawyer Miz. Holley will show up, tell the judge what a good girl Lindsay has been. Judge will pat Lindsay on the head, say keep up the good work, but stay out of bars. Report for the next media circus. Ho stroll back to the car, with boobs a flappin. I don’t believe in Santa or the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy anymore and I don’t believe Lindsay Lohan will ever have to be accountable for her actions. (but I will be watching just in case :) )

  10. Kimbob says:

    Crackie is such a drama queen. While some may be sad w/all the recent developments, I’m absolutely infuriated. Linds is a product of the CA justice system. I honestly can’t blame her the way she’s acting about all this….again….she’s a product of the limp, CA justice system.

    Every time, every single damn time, she’s received a slap on her wrist for all her crimes. Why SHOULD she not take “this time” seriously? Only to make a last minute drama-filled red-eye flight to CA because she was caught in her and her atty’s web of lies.

    I’m infuriated and totally over all this. Nothing will surprise me at this point.

    The absolute best outcome for Crackie THIS TIME would be jail. Jail is the only thing that could possibly make her understand. Nothing else. Hate to say it, but sometimes jails save lives.

  11. Erinn says:

    I was watching TMZ live last night when on break from work… Harvey said likely the court will have seen the photos by now. He said usually when they post something like that on the front page of their site, it has the tendency to get around.

    I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he sent it around to some other lawyers and such. I really hope that Sautner actually does something about LiLo, but at the same time I have serious doubts.

  12. Cinnamon says:

    so pissed i have to go to work right when this happens on TMZ. My last job in admin we used to watch the live streams of lindsay/paris going to jail in 07. oh those were the days. i miss not having my internet sites monitored at work.

  13. Tifygodess24 says:

    And just like the last million times she went to court – NOTHING will happen. She is the way she is because no one stands up to her nasty ass and she gets away with it. Plain and simple. This time will not be any different.

    You would think people in this country would have enough and cry out about the court systems here because this example right here shows how blantely baised they are to people who are famous/have money etc. a normal person would have already been locked up with the key thrown away. This shit makes me sick.

  14. Willa says:

    She is a furry pink orange monstrosity in these pics!

  15. bea says:

    How can she receive so many “gifts” and free swag, yet never have one single item that isn’t tacky and cheap looking? Amazing.

  16. erika says:

    it’s 5.30 AM west coast time and i’m in bed, lights off, dark huddled with my laptop on the screen blaring my eyes out w/ it’s light…

    but, dun dun dunnuhhhh, it’s time to do the Crackie Dance in court and I gotta know…

    I have a fearful thought too, I’m browsing through all the comments “yeah, Judge Sauer gonna nail…ohhh, you’ll get it now Crackie…LOCK HER UP!”

    But will they? Will she?

    Holly’s outta there, Sauer’s like the Angel of Death, the axis of the Earth is tilted too far in her favor to even believe.

    Please, please God, Krishna, Alla and Buddha amen, PLEASE GIVE US HOPE that justice prevails!

    …and CRoach, wipe that gleeful smile right off your botoxed face, the ladies of Lockdown are just gonna eat you all up…..!!!

  17. Ailine says:

    The best outcome for Lindsay would be year long rehab and counseling at a residency facility.

  18. Lili says:

    In the pics of her shopping she is with that Indian guy, who is probably paying for all…shady

  19. gg says:

    Perky little beavertooth sure looks well already …

  20. marie says:

    if you have the flu there is no way you’d be out and about shopping, girl thought she was above it because she is a simpleton. I really wish they’d throw her butt in jail and forget the key.

    Before her, I had never disliked someone I didn’t know so much, nice distinction there Blohan.

  21. claire says:

    I don’t think jail will do a single thing for this wreck. She’ll coast through it, probably score drugs while in, and leave with even more of a persecution complex. She needs to be sentenced to rehab. For years.

  22. Rex Manning Day says:

    New lawyer, same judge…this could be a recipe for awesomeness!

  23. sunnyinseattle says:

    Isn’t today just a hearing and there was never threat of jail today anyway? Weren’t they just gonna tell her when her next hearing is? Why is “freaked” out? What a waste of time and space! :-(

  24. Jackson says:

    So….is she blond again? Anyone see the TMZ vid? Looks red to start and then blond at the end??? And I would not be surprised if she WAS panicking in NYC. I think she fully intended to miss court today but thought better of it at the last minute. This judge better kick her ass, for real.

  25. The Original Mia says:

    Lindsay thought she could snow the court and carry on like nothing was wrong. Bet she thought Sautner would be none the wiser, except Sautner actually consults TMZ to see what her favorite convict is up to.

    This is going to be good. Got my drinks and snacks ready.

  26. GiGi says:

    TMZ reporting Lindsay & Dina were turned away from 2 hotels last night! One because Lilo had been “banned” and the other due to “no vacancy” – hmmmm…. seems the welcome mats are being pulled in all over town.

  27. Samigirl says:

    Makes one wonder how much truth there was to her passport getting “stolen” last year (or whenever it was). This woman doesn’t know how to tell the truth.

  28. karmasabiatch! says:

    Please, no more. NO MORE! This bitch. I just CAN’T anymore.

  29. emz says:

    JUST STOP WITH THE DISGUSTING KISSY FACE!!! U r not cute, attractive or pretty. It looks like u r trying to blow herpes our way!

  30. Chickenlishus says:

    I must always give kudos for “Pink Coat!” We got 3 exquisite pics of it on this one! I think she may just have the most love-to-hate coat in history. Then, the face:(