Benedict Cumberbatch sings a creepy, sexy song to his Cumberbitches: hot?


Oh, my beloved Benedict Cumberbatch. Let the other women fight over Tom Hiddleston and James McAvoy and whomever else. If they’re fighting each other over other (lesser) men, that means I get to enjoy all of you, all to myself. These are pics of My Cumby at the 39th Broadcasting Press Guild (BPG) Television and Radio Awards in London last night. Cumby posed on the red carpet with Sir Tom Stoppard, the screenwriter/adapter of Parade’s End. I like that Sir Tom and The Batch look so tight. It makes me think that Cumby isn’t such a judgy bitch ALL of the time, just some of the time. Like, he works hard and he’s brilliant and his peers love him… but he’s still the guy who will talk sh-t about everyone and everything with you. While you’re in bed with him. And he will whisper his bitchy judgments on your thighs.

His hair is dark because he’s filming Season 3 of Sherlock right now – that’s his Sherlock hair! Which is exciting, but I’ve gotten used to seeing him with lighter hair – I think his natural hair color is a light brown with some fabulous and natural highlights. I’ve grown to love his natural hair color… but I would still take him in Sherlock-mode, of course. Because of the cheekbones. Because I am SherLOCKED.

Anyway, as I’m sure you’ve already heard, an audio was just released yesterday of The Batch singing a lovely, creepy song to all of us. It’s from Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere, and this is called “The Angel Islington: The Angel Sings”. Cumby is the Angel. And it’s HOT. Even CB was like “OMG.” It’s a combination of his beautiful voice, his accent and his intense breathing. HOT.

Photos courtesy of Daniel Deme/WENN.com.

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175 Responses to “Benedict Cumberbatch sings a creepy, sexy song to his Cumberbitches: hot?”

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  1. marie says:

    Eve, do you see what Kaiser’s doing? she just completely ignores you..

    he looks like a chameleon to me, and now I’ve got Culture Club stuck in my head on repeat, frak..

    • T.Fanty says:

      Don’t rile her up. I like Kaiser and do not wish stabiness upon her.

      • Amelia says:

        There’s no need to call Eve, Marie.
        She has a sixth sense for these kind of things. One moment you’ll be dreaming about Cumby and – WHAM! – there’s a rather sharp implement that’s stuck in you.
        Anyone up for chipping into a stab vest fund for Kaiser?

    • Eve says:

      Yes, she’s an ungrateful bitch (I sent her the link).

      *HUMPF*

      By the way, I was the first one to point out that we (Cumberbatch and I) were a perfect match because we’re both bitchy and judgemental — back then she was still Fassbendering only.

      Buuuuuuuuuuut, given that it was her constant posting of Cumberbatch here that made me pay attention to/fall for him, I pretend I don’t see what she’s doing.

      • T.Fanty says:

        You know, I hear a lot about Kaiser’s thighs and she’s put in the work, so I say let her have something on them. Plus, I have good weekend plans, so can part with my dear Cumby for a day or two…

      • Eve says:

        ¬¬

        I said I’m not in a stabby mood today — but that doesn’t mean you can walk around throwing “my dear Cumby” or sharing what DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU!

      • marie says:

        ha, I love the Cumby arguments.. (but not the Cumby-I prefer to not be on this particular shank list)

      • T.Fanty says:

        She said no shanking today, so I’m feeling brave…

        (and just in case, I have a plaster cast on my arm, so feel like I come with some built in weaponry).

  2. T.Fanty says:

    So creepily hot.

    I’d let him stalk me down a back alley anytime.

    Thanks for the bonus Tom Stoppard! He was smoking hot when he was younger and I still have a nostalgic tingle for him (that, plus being Tom Stoppard, of course).

    • Nanea says:

      Yay, good to see I’m not the only one around here who had a crush on TS back when!

      • T.Fanty says:

        Oh my god, he was lovely. The epitome of the sexy intellectual. I was actually thinking about reading The Coast of Utopia again this weekend. He’s so amazing.

        Plus, the man who gave us Tim Roth and Gary Oldman doing comedy together should never be dismissed.

    • bob says:

      His son’s a stunner too, I CALL DIBS!

  3. Suze says:

    I only like the Batch when he’s in character for a role, otherwise he sends my creep-o-meter high.

    But in Sherlock mode, dear g*d.

    • Jenny says:

      Yes! I find him creepy as well. Perhaps because I don’t watch much TV, therefore haven’t seen him in much. I’m guessing he’s one of those people who looks better in motion than in photos??

      • Jenny says:

        I hope this is not too far down thread or too late on the post, but I have been pondering and wanting to get the opinion of some insightful ladies. (No disparaging of the Cumby meant at all, or saying this is the case with him, but…) I am just wondering if anyone has ever found themselves EXTREMELY, RIDICULOUSLY attracted to some one that they don’t find to be handsome or find to be downright homely. Recently came upon an athlete that I think is pretty homely, yet found that he made my biscuit all kinds of tingly. *blushing*

    • booboocita says:

      THIS! I fell hopelessly in love with Tietjens, with Edmund Talbot (his character in To The Ends Of The Earth), and Stephen Ezard (The Last Enemy). And I do think he’s weirdly beautiful. But in real life? Weirdly beautiful AND bitchy AND judgmental? Mmmmm, no thanks. The more I learn about the man, the more content I am to gaze from afar.

      • T.Fanty says:

        Weirdly, the bitchy and judgmental only makes me like him more. I probably should be worried.

      • Eve says:

        Oh, you definitely shouldn’t be worried about that — shank wounds, on the other hand, are worth worrying about.

      • andrea says:

        Haha, I know how you feel. The Brent Spiner/Patrick Stewart thing pretty much killed the crush for me. That plus time has shown that he rarely ever looks good in photos. But in character? Oof. I suffered through the entire length of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy just to gawk at him in all his perfectly-tailored, ginger-mopped glory.

    • L says:

      As Chris Teijens in Parade’s End? YES please? As Sherlock? Yup.

      Otherwise I agree, although I think he’d be fun to go drinking with.

    • V4Real says:

      I can do creepy quite well and I watch this show called “Criminal Minds” which is about profiling and catching serial killers. Crumby sounds like a serial killer who is trying to soothe his victim with his hypnotic creepy singing voice just before he starts to disembowel her.

      Imagine that scene; you’re in a dark abandon building, strapped to a table and Crumby is starring at you with those alien eyes, with a scalpel in his hand, singing to you while stroking your hair and bang; he goes in for the kill.

      • T.Fanty says:

        I’m sorry – I stopped paying attention after the “Cumby straps me to the table” bit.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        I’m freaked out that I can imagine this scene perfectly well. Very believeable. Now I must stop thinking of my horsey-looking husband being a serial killer.

      • Eve says:

        @ V4Real:

        I shouldn’t have been turned on by that.

        @ EsCon:

        He is NOT your husband.

        That’s it: I’m back to shanking you all.

      • j.eyre says:

        Thank goodness there will be some shanking. It occurred to me that today is the Ides of March and here we were all “hey man, no blood today. I’m going to totally let you have a pass because, you know, it’s all about feeling harmony, dude. Here have some photos to further your fantasies.”

        The Senate would have cast us out on our ears. Now lets get down to it Roman style.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        All hail Cumby! We who are about to die (of shanking) salute you!

      • T.Fanty says:

        By that, I hope you don’t mean to cast all the Cumberbitches down into a ring with slight amory and a bunch of lions.

      • Eve says:

        I’ve been trying to find a suitable place for this McAvoy gif but haven’t found it…oh well, it’s going here:

        http://24.media.tumblr.com/0a17ce5973fbffb4df46e5543abb4412/tumblr_mjp703RsxG1s045hco6_250.gif

      • j.eyre says:

        T.Fan – I am not sure what I intend to do, I am particularly feisty today. It may go lions, it may go diaphanous robes and doggy-style – let’s see how it plays out, shall we?

        Eve, darling, a gif of The Mac belongs anywhere. We could be discussing the decline of education and The Mac is appropriate. I will be seeing that tongue in my dreams for a while yet to come.

        I am in a quandary – T. Fan gave me a shirtless CHemboy (that still has my hands shaking) and Eve gave me The Mac’s tongue… who do I align with today? hmmmm…

      • marie says:

        just wisely j.eyre as I will snatch the other and run like the wind.

      • Eve says:

        @ J.Eyre:

        Take a look at the links I posted downthread.

        By the way, I’m fully aware that I’ll be dead the moment Ms Kay sees this thread.

      • T.Fanty says:

        This thread has become a “choose your own adventure” of alternating hotness and insanity.

        And I mean that as an absolute compliment.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        This entire thing is hysterical *sides hurt*.

      • j.eyre says:

        Well, well, well. I had to take the First Born to the vet, who kept me waiting for 25 minutes and then charged me enough that I had to dip into my shoe budget.

        Before I left, Mr. Rochester, who apparently is tired of being on the H!t List, volunteered himself for the Sh!t List.

        So, I secured Mr. Rochester in the attic with his buddy who couldn’t wait to get her hands on him and, in keeping with the Roman feel today, am inviting everyone to grab their favorite dong and head over the the Thornfield Baths. I have thrown a few more logs on the fire and am flooding the living room – there is room for all.

        But be willing to share because if it is within my arm-reach, I am probably going down on it.

        Propinate nobis similibusque… damnabiliter paucibus reliquis!

      • T.Fanty says:

        Thank you! I shall oil up my alien and hop in the carriage.

        I have to also say that if visual evidence is to be believed, you won’t have to go down very far.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Jane, I am bringing Ray Stevenson’s Titus Pullo & James Purefoy’s Marc Antony,(both from HBO’s “Rome”) & I somehow know you will not object.

        I hope I can find a hair & cosmetic slave on such short notice to help me get ready—everyone seems to be busy.

      • T.Fanty says:

        Ooo – if we’re taking that path I’m also bringing Ciaran Hinds in a toga.

      • TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

        Oh good Lord yall, I schedule ONE MORNING MEETING with a professor, and a Cumberpatch post shows up. I think this is happening on purpose.

        Welp, I brought beer to go with the whiskey and band-aids. Ms. Eyre, put the knitting needles up. The last time you took out someone’s eye, you couldn’t get the goop off the end. And Eve, keep the shanking away from major arteries? Please? I’ll save you some extra beer! EsCon and Fanty? Well, just keep your limbs away from the major carnage this time. As best you can, anyways.

        (And since we mentioned Rome, I have to confess that I’m actually pretty fond of Tobias Menzies. I can’t explain it. Can I hang out with him in the corner? He isn’t fond of assassinations after the last one he participated in).

      • j.eyre says:

        Excellent! The party is shaping up nicely. Somebody send another urn of ale to Eve, she keeps swatting at the Eunuchs (which honestly, V4 – were they really necessary? I understand historical accuracy but perhaps you misunderstood what type of party I was hosting?)

        Marie – darling, I hate to be a stickler but could you keep the “waxing” in the drawing room? You know how quickly our bedrooms catch on fire. And yes, Hugh looks very nice like that.

        T.Fan – Pardon me, but aren’t you forgetting someone? Toby will be arriving when?

        EsCon – oh – Ray – yes. As soon as you have finished your Twister game, direct him to the library. And where are Idris and Zachary? I have kind of a Valhalla themed thing going on in there.

        PromisedBeer – a morning meeting on a Friday? You silly, silly responsible belle you. We have restocked on cookies (compliments of GoldenState) and mead (no idea who brought that) and really, are just getting started. That corner is fine, but mind Agent MOL, those experiments can be tricky.

        Kay-Doo will swing by soon, bless her. Be done with Hiddles by the time she gets here, politics make her cranky and she will want to work that out.

        Amelia and ICM should be bringing Fassy. Not sure what is keeping them.

        Mayor Kiki is holding court in the Douche Room which used to be my knitting room and will need to be bleached and probably burned afterwards.

        Carry on, all – Ewan finally arrived so I need to get the straps out.

      • T.Fanty says:

        @theypromisedmebeer:
        Oh god, you’re not one of my students are you? That is my nightmare.

        @ Miss Eyre – I was just going to head upstairs and cajole Toby out of your wardrobe. I don’t know what you did to him last night, but he’s all trembly and weak.

        Also, if you’re using MBITA to cleanse the douche room, let me know, so that I can have the fire brigade at the ready (insert joke about Hiddles’ hose here). Or maybe just fireman costumes for the boys who are still standing at the end.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        @TheyPromisedMeBeer,

        Yay! Someone who loves Tobias Menzies! Yes, I think that’s a wonderful idea. But you will need to keep an eye on him & keep him away from Ciaran Hinds. I guess 2,000 years isn’t enough time to stop being cross over that unfortunate stabbing. Uncle Julius is still bitching about it. And Brutus still seems extra-sulky about Caesar being hideous to his Mum.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        @j.eyre,

        Miss Eyre, did you say “Oh, Ray!” as in “Shopgirl” by any chance? If you did, you’re scaring me.

      • TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

        @Fanty – you have nightmares about Cumby posts during student meetings too? :P Unless you’re teaching somewhere in the deep south, I doubt I’m a student of yours. But if I ever am, it would make class interesting …

        @J – sent a tankard to Eve already. Have some good microbrews on tap as well, so I’m ready to keep her out of the Shanking Rage. The cookies are appreciated, especially since I’m all out of lard and butter to make pie crusts right now.

      • TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

        @EsCon – YAY! Tobias fangirls unite! I’m going to confess, I’ve never seen him in anything else, but he struck me so much as Brutus that I’m a fangirl for life. But I’ll take recommendations. :)

        Oh Servilla, she wished she could play that game as well as Atia, didn’t she? At least she had a memorable exit, didn’t she?

      • j.eyre says:

        Ray – as in Stevenson. Didn’t you mention him? Good lord, you errant nun – stop talking and bring him hence!

        And yes, you should worry about me. I just went to the mall with the sole (excuse the pun) purpose of buying revenge shoes and walked out empty handed. I even denied myself a pretzel in favor of keeping my Lenten resolve.

        Now, if you will excuse me, I must go start my turkey bolognese which must simmer for 3 hours – good heavens, what’s wrong with me???

      • EscapedConvent says:

        @theypromisedmebeer,

        Oh my God, did she ever. I wish I had the stamina to do what Servilia did to someone who pissed me off. Well not the self-stabbing, but it would be a damn blast to go to someone’s office & chant “I call for justice!” for hours while they’re trying to work.

        (I hope this shows up in the right place.)

      • marie says:

        you ladies are hilarious, keep my day moving along.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        @j.eyre,

        Miss Eyre, I said you were in a dither! & a tizzy to go with the dithering. Yes, I mentioned Ray Stevenson! Oh, Ray! We love him. I was referring to a line in the movie “Shopgirl” which if you see, you will recognize immediately.

        (I didn’t know we could have turkey bolognese on a Friday during Lent. I was just smashing the frozen fish fillets on the countertop. Thanks ever so!)

      • T.Fanty says:

        Darn you ladies! Mr. Beaupleasir just started re-watching Rome on HBO and so far I’ve been resistant in the name of productivity. Now I just want to toss my papers aside and watch James Purefoy in a Toga – not to mention my personal fave, Lindsay Duncan

      • j.eyre says:

        Oh that’s right, it’s Friday.

        Good thing I am an Episcopalian – ha! And with Sunday being St. Patrick’s Day – this little Orange Irish girl should be blotto all weekend – Cead mile failte.

        Sigh, the Heir and Heiress need retrieving. If you are off to bed soon, pleasant dreams. If not – Slainte, I’ll see you in an hour.

      • T.Fanty says:

        I’m taking the Fantlings to the circus with my in-laws. I only wish I could start the St. Paddy’s day drinking. My mother in law has just started talking about how she doesn’t understand why I don’t take a summer job at Walmart, seeing as I have “the time off” from work. Sigh.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        @Fanty,

        What?! Rome?!! A bizarre coincidence, or does your Beau know that you’re talking about Rome today? I think I’ll start watching it again too, what the hell. Love Lindsay Duncan also. I think we should poll everyone here & ask which character in Rome they would be. `Cause I’m delirious.

  4. Maria says:

    Enjoy Benny, just means more Fassy for me *runs away and quickly*

  5. Kaye says:

    If loving this is wrong, I never want to be right.

    • Kaye says:

      /wave. Apparently there’s two of us with the same name.

      Or maybe I’m sleep-posting . . .

  6. GeeMoney says:

    He’s so wonderful.

  7. allons-y alonso says:

    The Cumberbatch cometh!

    I am so glad people are talking about ‘Neverwhere’. It’s a fantastic book.

    While I wait for the other usual suspects to pop up, I shall leave this here. Enjoy it. I know I did.

    http://darlingdomesticbatch.tumblr.com/

    • T.Fanty says:

      That’s funny, but (I suspect) way too nice for Cumby.

      ETA: good morning, Allons-y! *waves!* hasn’t it been a great week for hot men? I on behalf of CBitches everywhere, I would like to say thanks to the universe.

      • allons-y alonso says:

        Hello T.Fanty: I know, right. I do expect a little bit of dirty talk from him. It would be a crime if he didn’t what with that voice and accent

      • Miss M says:

        @T.Fanty: It has been a great week for hot men! Waves back to allCB*ches!

        @Eve: see what Kaiser is doing?!

        @Kaiser: Thanks for knowing your place, :) . Keep your thoughts away from Hiddles and McAvoy, hehehe

      • allons-y alonso says:

        *EDIT/ add on
        @T.Fanty
        Yes it has been a glorious week. It makes up for the horrible awards season. A double whammy with The Batch and of course my side piece Hiddles. I feel as though 2013 can really start now.

        Hello Miss M! :D

      • Eve says:

        Yes, I do. But I’m not in a stabby mood today, I’m afraid.

        On that Hiddeouston thread there’s a link to files available for download.

        You’re all welcome.

      • allons-y alonso says:

        Lols. Eve I see what you did there and yes, thank you :)

      • Miss M says:

        @allons-y alonso: Hi!!!!

        @Eve: I saw what you did, Eve! I was all supportive of you and you come all b*tch about Hiddles.. I will cut you some slack since I don’t feel well today and I am working only half time + people make fun of Cumby all the time (I don’t think is fair, but oh well…). Yes, I remembered when you said you were all bitchy and jugdy like him and Kaiser is using your words now, :) . But, like you said, she keeps posting about him. So, it’s all good! :)

      • Eve says:

        @ Miss M:

        Oh, come on now!!! I’m among the fairest of his critics!

        Plus, I posted links to REALLY nice pictures of him (downthread — they’re around GoldenState’s comment #8).

      • Miss M says:

        @Eve: That’s true! You are fair b*tch! :)
        OMG, I will be forever thankful to you for posting those photos! :)

        I must rest now and then finish reading “The Hobbit”.

    • Miss Kiki says:

      Bonjour ladies.

      That was positively marvelous. This week has basically been a panty dropper. The only thing that would round it off would be an article on CHemboy, I would probably melt.

      I’m really going to have get started with Neverwhere, I hadn’t realised the cast included ‘Ripper’ himself, Anthony Stewart Head.

      Do I read the book first or just straight in to the radio adaptation?

      • allons-y alonso says:

        Hello Miss KiKi! Might I suggest the book first? It’s a very quick and easy read.

      • T.Fanty says:

        Isn’t the answer always “read the book”? Although if you listen first, you can then read with Cumby and McAvoy’s voices stuck in your head.

      • T.Fanty says:

        Dear Miss Kiki,

        Just so you don’t feel left out, amid the gaggle of hyper-ventilating biscuits:

        http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/chris%20hemsworth%20shirtless

      • Miss Kiki says:

        Well normally reading the book first is a given, but given that this is radio adaptation I wasn’t sure how to proceed.

        Speaking of recommendations, I’ve decided to stop being such a Philistine and re acquaint myself with the Bard. I’ve heard a lot of talk round here about the Hollow Crown and i know Joss Whedon has recently done Much Ado About Nothing. Anything else my fellow dong hounds recommend? ?

      • T.Fanty says:

        The Hollow Crown is fab. Start with Richard II (less tricky dicky) and just move through chronologically. The Whedon Much Ado isn’t out yet. There’s a Taymor Tempest with Helen Mirren bouncing around and a Tennant Hamlet (which I didn’t much like). Ooo! Don’t forget Coriolanus with Ralph Fiennes! Gerard Butler is even quite good in that, too!

        If you want to see something REALLY cool and a contemporary of Shakey’s, check out Alex Cox’s movie of The Revenger’s Tragedy. It has Christopher Eccleston and Eddie Izzard being phenomenal, but by far the best part is watching Derek Jacobi do a near perfect Karl Lagerfeld impersonation. Totally worth two hours of your life.

      • allons-y alonso says:

        hmmmm.

        You should definitely go for Hollow Crown! It was really good. Jeremy Irons was born to play Henry IV and I really enjoyed Hiddles’ Hal/ Henry V
        (Henry V was a tad shaky but that was due to the direction).

        I CANNOT WAIT to see how Whedon tackles Much Ado (plus, Nathan Fillion is in it).

        There is a version of Othello out there in the universe and Christopher Eccleston is a great Iago.

        Outside of the world of Billy Shakes, well, here in Australia the ABC network just finished airing the 2nd and last (sob) series of The Hour with Ben Whishaw and Dominic West. I loved it.

      • T.Fanty says:

        I gave up on The Hour – I couldn’t get into it, in spite of Dominic West (I met him once – SO hot). Should I stick at it?

      • allons-y alonso says:

        T.Fanty you met Dominic West? That’s so cool. I loved him in The Wire. He’s very dapper.

        I think The Hour is the kind of show you either really like or dislike. If you’re not into it, i doubt that will change.

        How are enjoying Thick Of It. Isn’t Paul Higgins’ Jamie so terrifying and glorious?

      • T.Fanty says:

        He is, although I always found his accent in The Wire a little shaky. He’s no Stringer Bell, that’s for sure.

        I LOVE The Thick of it. Roger Allam is my new comedy hero. I don’t know Jamie yet, as I don’t have access to season 4 via iTunes at this point. Stoopid America.

      • j.eyre says:

        Good morning ladies.

        A wonderful week indeed – and the inclusion of Sir Tom is fantastic. I second the need for a CHemboy post – Budgetboy just isn’t scratching any itches.

        And a Ewan post. I live for Ewan posts.

        Mayor Kiki, my darling,

        http://www.justjared.com/2013/02/13/chris-hemsworth-elsa-pataky-doctors-visit-with-india/

        I don’t know if kids make you retch or not but these were my undoing the other night:

        http://havefaith-and-holdon.tumblr.com/post/45368850834

      • allons-y alonso says:

        @T.Fanty
        Yes! Another converted to Thick of It. When you see Jamie, you will love him. He’s like Malcolm except when Malcolm threatens someone you’re never sure if he’d follow through with it. Jamie threatens and follows through. I suggest you watch the Specials. He’s in them more. I think there’s 2.

        Roger Allam is hilarious as Peter Manion. Olivia Poulet and Will Smith also bounce off each other so well in their scenes with him.

        Oh, and there is a spin off film called ‘In the Loop’ – it’s still with Malcolm but he deals with a different department. And all the actors from the show play different characters.

        Hello J.Eyre *waves*

      • j.eyre says:

        Saints preserve us T.Fan! I just clicked your link. How shall I thank you, take a blow from Eve for you?

        I first tried to access the link on Mr. Rochester’s iPad and it crashed every time I clicked it. CHemboy is not on Mr. Rochester’s approved crush list so he must have booby-trapped his electronics.

      • T.Fanty says:

        Hi Miss Eyre!

        Thank you, but judging by Miss EsCon’s claim above, looks like she’s going to be taking the hit today. The mistress will let the wives thrash it out and keep Mr. Tiejens occupied while they do.

        On a side-note, all I had to google was “Chris He” and up popped a link to shirtless goodies. The Internet is a truly beautiful thing. I’m sure this is exactly what Tim Berners Lee had exactly in mind.

      • Eve says:

        @ T.Fanty:

        There’s only one wife: me (a.k.a. the one with the shanks).

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Hello, Miss Kiki!

        @Fanty,

        Fanty for !@#$s sake, why do I have to take another shank hit today? I was shanked already this week. Please reconsider your shanking order of succession.

        Also, did someone say Eddie Izzard? I love Eddie. Am going to look for this Revenger thing.

      • T.Fanty says:

        Cumby and I thank you for it, darling. Once he’s got over the spanking Moffatt asked me to administer for jumping the gun on season four, I’ll send him by to tend to your wounds. He has gentle hands for you and stinging rebukes for Eve. Apparently her technique is all over the place.

      • j.eyre says:

        *waves* hey allons-y! I bid you a good night. I must run the Heir and Heiress to school so I may miss you.

        back in a tick. Ciao.

        (EsCon – grabbing my knitting needles – who do you want me to get first?)

      • EscapedConvent says:

        @Fanty,

        All right, I’ll unlock the portcullis. I’m in deep hiding, it may take awhile for Cumby to find me.

        And no more shanking until morale improves!

      • EscapedConvent says:

        @j.eyre,

        Why, hello, Miss Eyre! You sound surprisingly lucid this morning. I alerted everyone to your fragile condition somewhere further down this page, but it sounds as if the lovely night you spent with Thor’s Hammer has revived you.

        I’m not sure what you’re planning with those knitting needles—more socks, sweaters, or a jab to the eye of one of the other Thor-lovers?

        I hope you’re still working on those miniature Hiddles faces we discussed on a dong sweater for Cumby. I loved your idea of the little surprised expression on his face.

        Also, Eve has posted a link to a blurry but riveting pic of naked Hiddles that she says is real. I don’t know. But put your teacup down just in case.

    • EscapedConvent says:

      Oh my Goood. alanso! How did you find this hidden gem? I’ve never seen it! When Eve sees this…..well, I’m in the Cumby-lover Protection Program now, so I’m not going to worry about it.

      I’m sure he’s having a good laugh over this site, if he’s seen it. He does know about tumblr, & he’s been warned that the Interwebs adore him.

      It’s absolutely wonderful, thank you!

      • allons-y alonso says:

        @EscapedConvent someone on tumblr reblogged one of the pics it and popped up on my dash. I just felt the need to share it. I think they are hilarious!

      • T.Fanty says:

        I would totally believe him to be the type of person who googles himself daily and pretends he doesn’t.

      • j.eyre says:

        Shouldn’t allons-y be awake by now? Come on, girl – get back into the fray.

      • T.Fanty says:

        I think we all need to take a nap before round two begins.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Oh, God. Round Two? Does this mean ~after~ the Bacchanalia at Thornfield?

        I need a nap, & I don’t think even Ray Stevenson can change that.

        I am so jeal-y of your stamina….
        *slips into coma*

  8. GoldenState says:

    Cumby has the perfect creepy voice. Could you imagine a dark rainy night and him reading a ghost story to kids? Honestly, I’d be terrified.

    • EscapedConvent says:

      That would be absolutely fabulous. Cumby’s voice reading the Tell Tale Heart & The Tomb of Ligeia, in front of a fire, no other lights. Power outage. Sigh….

      Oh, right. (*shakes self from daydream*) There are children present. Well, they’ll be sent to the kitchen for milk & cookies very soon.

      • Eve says:

        Or “The Masque of the Red Death”.

        Seriously, my husband was born to read Poe’s works.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Eve! You’re right—I’m envisioning him in Vincent Price’s role right now. Red isn’t really his color, but he’d look adoreable in that cape & horns.

        You know, it would be wonderful if he read Poe. How do we get this suggestion to our husband? I also have several other ideas for upcoming gigs & I know you do too. Someday he will be old enough to play Mr. Chips. In the meantime, I am waiting for him to play a young sexy English teacher; we know he already has the cardigans. Surely one of his ladies can sew elbow patches onto his tweed jackets.

      • Eve says:

        You meant: “How do we get this suggestion to *YOUR* husband”, right? Right.

      • T.Fanty says:

        I don’t doubt for a second that he has one of his own. Maybe Miss Eyre could make a specialty little Cumby sweater to match.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Eve, (*opens English shopping tote, spreads catalogues on coffee table*)

        “Could I interest you in a Cumberbatch time-share? The secrecy & deception are built into the program. Our dedicated staff will work themselves into a frenzy to make sure that you never know when Your Husband is visiting one of his other ladies.”

      • T.Fanty says:

        EsCon – isn’t that what the previously posted pic of McAvoy with the tongue is for?

      • Eve says:

        @ EsCon:

        No.

        I mean, that’s tempting…but no. Instead, can I make you a counteroffer? Here, this is Thomas William Hiddleston, and this is him naked:

        http://i49.tinypic.com/2dlys7.png

        Yes, that’s actually him (still/scene from a movie called “Unrelated”). Yes, that’s his penis (and yes, it does seem to be really big).

      • EscapedConvent says:

        @Eve,

        Oh my Freaking God! It’s blurry, & my eyes are blurry, but….hmmm….has Kay-Doo seen this? And if Miss Eyre sees her Hiddles like this, all her resistance will fly out of Thornfield’s bevelled windows.

        Oh, wait…~snaps head back to normal position, stops drooling~

        Yes, you distracted me. Very clever indeed. Truly, you are a worthy opponent. ;-)

      • GoldenState says:

        The kids will be sent to the kitchen for milk and cookies, only to discover that I have, in fact, eaten all the cookies and left no milk! Shocker, but not surprising.

        And omg, yes yes yes Poe! Or even–let’s hear it for the ladies–Mary Shelley or Flannery O’Connor. I mean, A Good Man Is Hard to Find is so so so dark and weird. I read that book thinking it would be about relationships (gendered frame much?), and the first story was about southern gothic landscapes and serial killers. Shiver.

      • Eve says:

        It’s blurry but you can clearly see where it “ends” (mid-thighs — and the man has looooooooooooong thighs!!!).

        When he said he had Mjolnir in his pants, he wasn’t kidding.

      • Miss Jupitero says:

        @eve! I heard he was well endowed (and also that he is known to go commando) but that thing is almost to his knees!

        I like my men to have nice substantial packages *cough-cough* but…. Wow, he could go fishing with this.

      • Eve says:

        @ Miss Jupitero:

        I’m not sure about him going commando. From what I’ve seen, he’s a boxers kind of guy.

      • Miss Jupitero says:

        @eve: Boxers. Oh dear no, please say you mention boxer-briefs! That so… old man! (At least we are
        Not talking about man spanx, so I guess I should be grateful not to have that image in mind.)

        Commando: somewhere on one of those salacious tumblrs, some guy reported that he peed next to Hiddles in the men’s room at some star studded event, and that he was a.) commando and b.) was of gargantuan proportions.

      • T.Fanty says:

        @ Miss J,

        It half amuses and half terrifies me that we live in a world where a man willingly tweets about peeing next to a vaguely famous actor.

        (Actually, I have a friend who sat behind Ralph Fiennes at a show once, and followed him to the bathroom to discover whether or not the rumours were true. Mr. Fiennes at least, had the good sense to use a cubicle and thwart his devious plan).

      • Eve says:

        @ Miss Jupitero:

        Yes, that’s what I meant (boxer-briefs). Here:

        http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5tnj2jA881r3wn4bo1_r1_500.jpg

        Oh, and another link to *that* picture (the one I posted isn’t working anymore):

        http://lokismonstercrotch.tumblr.com/post/44613330141

        And that can be ALL yours, ladies! Get it!

        I’m just saying that’d be a very wise, totally shank-free choice!

    • T.Fanty says:

      @ Eve,

      That CANNOT be real. If so, he’s making the wrong kind of movies.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        HA!! *Alan Rickman voice*

      • Eve says:

        That IS real. I first saw that scene after someone made a .gif out of it, but since he was moving really fast, I couldn’t actually see *it*. Then someone posted a still showing that monstrosity, however, there was a guy in the background so…I think it was the guy’s arm giving the impression (throught false perspective) it was his penis.

        But here? That’s all him — no doubt about it.

        If I were a size queen I’d be all over him. Sadly, I’m not.

      • T.Fanty says:

        Miss Eyre needs to knit faster. This sweater could take some time.

      • Eve says:

        And then…there’s his ass:

        http://sphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/599938_415899655146204_659665050_n.png

        Can’t say for sure if that’s actually him, but damn, that’s one nice ass (we need Ms Kay’s expertise here).

      • j.eyre says:

        Honestly ladies, how do you think I developed TMJ/TMD?

        I thought Hiddles’ true power was well known? Why do you think his leg has to be so bent so high in The Deep Blue Sea?

        Alas, toss all the Hiddles dong you want my way – I am unstoppable today. I devour each gif/image and become stronger.

        Now, if someone wants to show me what CHemboy writes with, that may catch my step…

        ETA – sorry, that @$$ belongs to a gay porn star. I fell for that once. Hiddles’s tucas is pretty nice, though. Did anyone read that extra’s story from the Hollow Crown who said Hal’s towel kept falling? They kept having to cut as Hiddles barely caught the corners in time. Holy Moly, what I wouldn’t give to trade places – with the extra or the towel.

        GoldenState – don’t worry darling, I still have plenty of girl scout cookies int he freezer – we can be here all night.

      • Miss M says:

        @Eve: *faints* I had seen his a*s before in “the deep blue sea” ( a fine one!). Eve, stop showing these photos. Kaiser may jump in The Hiddles bandwagon and we’ll be doomed.

      • Eve says:

        @ J.Eyre:

        This was the best I could find (sorry):

        http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7ywc1QfrO1r7r4dto1_500.jpg

      • j.eyre says:

        well I am certainly not complaining, Eve.

        I just hear a lot of “girth” discussion when it comes to CHemboy and would love some evidence rather than assumption. It would be a lovely way to decide what is better – length or width – to have a Hiddles/CHemboy side-by-side comparison.

        Hmmm, yes, that thought shall do nicely.

      • Lemony says:

        Um, excuse me, ladies? *snaps fingers* While I’ve been busting by butt all week which one of you stole those images from our very personal home movie collection? My Hiddles, while a bit of an exhibitionist, is quite embarrassed, even though I’ve assured him he has NOTHING to feel bad about. Now you better close your peepers & put those pictures back, otherwise THIS is gonna happen…..
        *holds army clippers to Cumby’s glorious dark curls*

      • EscapedConvent says:

        @Lemony,

        Noooooooo! Here, take my curls instead!

      • j.eyre says:

        lemony – I like the cut of your jib. Hit ‘em where it hurts, huh? Look at you, coming out swinging.

        But since we are alone in this closet, let’s not pretend for one minute you didn’t leak those photos yourself just to rub it in our faces (which, btw, is what we have been doing with those photos)

        Clip away, darling – I’m not giving anything back. You will have to deal with Eve on this one.

        *leans back and sips mead through an umbrella-ed straw from a coconut shell*

      • T.Fanty says:

        @Lemony:

        *standing tall and staring down* Snip away. I flipping love this:

        http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m99yu3qLs11qilcafo2_400.png

        Oh, sorry – you just wanted Hiddles? Here he is. I’ll throw in my spanking paddle if you shave my name into the side of Cumby’s head.

      • Miss Jupitero says:

        P0rn shos do sell extenders, TFanty…. But I think this is real. A genuine third leg.

    • EscapedConvent says:

      Oh bother. Golden State, there were LOTS of cookies. There must be more. What am I going to do to distract these kids while Cumby whispers sweet sweet love into my ear?

      Great idea about Flannery O’Connor. And he *must* read Frankenstein!

      • TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

        EsCon, there will be no Flannery O’Connor reading unless he can do it with the right accent. I demand nothing less.

        And if he can, shit. I’m in trouble. I was hoping y’all would keep my southern writers out of this for that exact reason, dammit!

      • EscapedConvent says:

        @theypromisedmebeer,

        Of course! Perfectly reasonable. I am dying to hear Cumby with an accent other than his own. As far as I know, he only had 1 or 2 lines in a movie with an American accent. It sounded odd.

        But wait….what about “August, Osage County.” Don’t know when it’s coming out, but it’s set in Oklahoma. I’m just giddy about hearing this accent from our Cumby.

        And someone had better warn Miss Eyre that Ewan MacGregor is in it!

      • TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

        Considering Cumby’s complained before that he always gets stuck with “Posh” roles, it would be pretty cool to see him pull off down-home American. Especially with a broad Oklahoma accent (and now I have a mental image of Benedict Cumberbatch watching dvr’d episodes of Reba, starring Oklahoma native Reba McEntire. It’s making my day, actually). I trust Ewan MacGregor with any accent, so no worries on that front.

      • GoldenState says:

        I love how this has become a full-on, digital cookies & milk party! This is fabulous, because parties are my one true calling. Let’s get Cumby to jump out of cake for us, please?

      • EscapedConvent says:

        It’s good to hear that, Golden State, because these battles need a party afterwards! If parties are your calling, does that mean planning them as well as attending them? Because the Dude Wars are heating up, & there are new gladiatrices ;-) jumping into the ring every day. I just don’t know where all these cookies & scones are going to come from! Miss Eyre has been keeping up with the demand so far, but the knitting & the baking & now the flooding of her living room for orgies is just getting to be too much for one delicate governess.

        I ~love~ the Cumby-In-A-Cake idea! Would you like to take charge of baking him into that cake? He’s about 6 feet tall, & I don’t know how much buttercream frosting he will need.

  9. Miss Beca says:

    gahhhhhhhhhllxlghsghkjgj

    *explodes*

  10. Tish says:

    Weird I know, but Tom Stoppard and Cumby, arms around each other– HOT.

    Played this on different tabs and it was glorious. The ultimate gift to his Cumberbitches is an audio clip of him making sex noises. My god. Can you imagine? HNG.

  11. Faye says:

    Only Cumby can make that creepy song work.

    And I actually like his dark hair better — I think it makes him look darker and sexier, somehow.

  12. sauvage says:

    Cumby, I love you to pieces, put please don’t consider starring in a musical without extensive singing lessons.

    Yours sincerely, S.

  13. Victoria says:

    get back be-yatches, spread out rookies because He’s ALL MINE! HA HA HA HA.. ahem.

  14. Alli says:

    My favorite Creepy Pirate Alien Song OF ALL TIME!

  15. MissMary says:

    I…I…pardon me, I need to go swoon.

  16. EscapedConvent says:

    Ahem. I have almost concluded that this Cumby post is a deliberate scheme by Kaiser to eliminate Cumby’s other women fom the battlefield. His Harem, if you will. Or if you won’t.

    First, she weakened us with minor skirmishes over other pasty British gentlemen this week. While we were fawning over MacAvoy, Hiddles & that puppy with Tom Hardy, we were distracted & not on high alert. At least 2 of the Usual Suspects are injured (Fanty, cast on arm, & me, multiple stab wounds from She Who Must Not Be Named.) Miss Eyre is in such a dither I don’t know what to do with her. She keeps tip-toeing through Thornfield’s vast halls, opening & closing doors for no reason, & blithering about someone she thinks is living in the Attic. Her last batch of lavender scones was inedible.

    Now it’s Friday, & this Cumby devastation is just not fair at all. Aren’t we going to need our strength for the battles that are sure to rage after Star Trek opens?

    • Eve says:

      *poof*

      Oh, puh-leeeeeeeease. She Who Must Not Be Named knows all your schemes to avoid saying her name out loud.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        But you haven’t heard some of the newest tricks from the Cumby Protection program. They change every day—it’s all very World War Two Enigma Code.

        & why am I telling you this? Surely this is information I should keep to myself.

        Or maybe it’s part of the Code…

      • Eve says:

        It doesn’t matter: I will always know (where, when and how).

    • j.eyre says:

      WAIT! What did you say about my scones?

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Inedible. Like lavender bricks.

        I think you reversed the amounts of flour & salt. You put just a pinch of flour, & several cups of salt. But the lavender was perfect!

  17. Dani says:

    Seriously he’s so creepily attractive and I blame everyone here for making me love him.

    • T.Fanty says:

      Yes, it is fairly easy to get swept up in the mob mentality around here.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Fanty,

        This is my first mob. I’m dead serious. I’m not usually a joiner. I’ve avoided cheerleading, the Girl Scouts (had to leave over a bounced check) & every religious cult that knocks on the door. And everone knows I escaped from the convent.

        I hope this is just a once-in-a-lifetime thing:

        http://cumberbuddy.tumblr.com/

      • T.Fanty says:

        Mine too – but what fine company to be in. I feel like a Maenad.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        !!!Yes. Perfect description!

  18. EscapedConvent says:

    Cumby’s hair—-Everyone seems to be possessed by Cumby’s hair. The director of Parade’s End said that during production “We were all obsessed with Benedict’s hair.”

    It must be hilarious to be him.

    If this is really his Sherlock hair for the new season, I am thrilled. I think this is his very best look, although his auburn highlights peeking through the dark color are lovely. In the first 2 series, I loved the curly curls, but they were a wee bit feminine. He said he hated the hairdo, that it made him “look like a woman.”

    He looks terribly sleek like this. Like a horse.

    • Bored suburbanhousewife says:

      @EscapedConvent–you are da bomb. Anyone who can simultaneously in one posting love on Cumby, Titus Pullo, Mark Antony & Alan Rickman has me running for the smelling salts! You go girl!!

      Right now the image of James Purefoy starkers being scraped clean by his slave with his dong waving is stuck in in my mind…must cue up Rome yet again……

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Wow. Thank you! I’ll remember that from now on when I’m frothing at the mouth over one of our dudes. “Da Bomb” is also what I call that scene you just described with Marc Antony having the olive oil scraped off his gorgeous glistening bod.

        Wasn’t he scrumptious? & Ray Stevenson pretty much had me speaking in tongues. ;-)

  19. HotPockets says:

    I don’t find this man remotely attractive, why does he have to be the new “it” man of celebitchy? (sheds a tear).

    • yolo112 says:

      I don’t know, HotPocket…I 100% agree with you. Not hot AT ALL…just odd and creepy lookin…

      • HotPockets says:

        Thank you. I just do not see his appeal. He always looks so waxy and greasy.

      • yolo112 says:

        lol.. it really is mind boggling. He looks like he could go either way. lol, I might get kicked off CB for that comment..lol..

    • Raven Sparrow says:

      Me neither!!! Not attractive at all!!! And yes – very creepy!
      Plus his name is weird too…I keep reading it Benedict Cucumber!
      Even Cumby is just – No!

      I’m definitely going to get kicked off of here for that!

      • Janna says:

        Plus 1. I love him on sherlock homes, but hot? Hell no. I wouldnt look twice at him on the streets.

    • Eve says:

      @ HotPockets, Yolo112 e Raven Sparrow:

      If it’s up to me, none of you will ever be banned — nope, not for having a different opinion.

      A different point of view, when expressed respectfully, is always welcome.

      • Raven Sparrow says:

        Thanks Eve…And I’m so sorry I don’t find your hubby attractive ;)

      • yolo112 says:

        Thanks, Eve. =) It was a huge risk to go against the grain on this one! I mean, I’ve tried, I stared him down and tried to see it, to get some warmth in my britches over him.. I guess it’s one (or 3) less chicas you gotta stab!! =D

      • Eve says:

        No problem.

        Actually, I kinda miss the earlier posts where some girls called him “lizard” or flat-out trashed his looks. I like the fact his appearance polarises people so much :) .

        I just hope that when you (Yolo112) said you thought “he could go either way”, you didn’t mean that in a bad way.

        Because there’s nothing wrong with being bisexual (in my opinion), and if he is, I’m still going to hit that like there’s no tomorrow — in fact, it opens even more possibilities ;) .

      • HotPockets says:

        Haha Eve, I always post on every Benedict Cumberbatch post about how unattractive I find him and sometimes I get some angry/hurt/defensive comments posted back at me, such as..”maybe if I actually watched his show I wouldn’t be so quick to judge!” In my defense, I have seen him in live action and no, no, and no! I still would never hit it, even if I was pay for play.

  20. dahlianoir says:

    Oh my. *mops floor*

  21. Apples says:

    Yes. Yes. Yes.
    Along with Cumby’s soul-awakening voice, I’m going to have to add his hands and watching the way he moves them to my adoration list.
    I love him most with the dark Sherlock hair.

  22. Deedee says:

    He is so unattractive… I dont get it.

  23. LittleDeadGirl says:

    Love it. I never thought he was hot in pictures but the more I see him in film, and hear his voice, I’m falling a bit more for him. This song … oh I’ll need to listen to this many many times.

  24. Miss M says:

    What a dream will be if tomorrow we have a Hot Guy Sunday Saint Patrick’s Day edition…

  25. Ally8 says:

    There was a story in the British press this week (Cumberbatch told it) of a fan tweeting his every move… while he was alone in his house. Turned out to be a neighbour, who was warned off.

    So the Cumberbitch thing is funny, up to a point. Admire from a sane and respectful distance, people. Some British reserve or international sense of boundaries wouldn’t go amiss.

    http://www.digitalspy.ca/celebrity/news/a465492/benedict-cumberbatch-neighbor-live-tweeted-my-movements.html

  26. Miss Jupitero says:

    @ally8, I heard about that story, and I have to say flu d it very disturbing. Dishing here about stuff we see on the Internet is one thing, and I thi k harmless…. But spying into somebody’s window? *shudder*