Bethenny Frankel didn’t know divorce was hard ‘I really did think it would be amiable’

The last time we reported on Bethenny Frankel’s musings on divorce she was calling it “the most difficult thing you could go through in your life” without adding any qualifiers for death, illness, poverty or accidents. In Bethenny’s carb-starved mind, divorce was the worst thing that could happen to anyone, since it’s the worst thing that’s happened to her so far in her sheltered life.

Well Bethenny is still talking about it, and it sounds like she considers herself a victim even though she’s the one working to strip her ex of 50/50 custody of their nearly three year old daughter. More on that in a moment.

While Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy aren’t scheduled to return to divorce court for a few more weeks, the reality-star-turned-talk-show-host has been giving a lot of thought to how far apart she and her ex have drifted.

At the time of the split, Frankel released a statement in which she said that she and Hoppy hoped to “amicably co-parent” their daughter Bryn, who turns 3 next month.

Now, in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, Frankel says she can see that’s going to be a challenge.

“I really did think it would be amicable. I absolutely did,” she says. “I wrote that entire statement myself. And everysingle word, I believed to be true.”

Now, faced with divorce negotiations that continue to drag on – while Hoppy continues to wear his wedding ring – Frankel is left to wonder how she could have been so off the mark.

“Someone said to me recently, ‘We see what we want to see.’ And I guess, at the time, that’s what I did,” she says.

Still, the Skinnygirl guru hasn’t stopped looking for the positive.

“The truth of the matter is, you go with your gut at the time,” she says. “Whatever I’m going through now, I’m certain that I’ll learn something from it. When the clouds pass, I will figure out what the silver lining was.”

[From People]

Sidenote: I watched Silver Linings Playbook last night and it was awesome. (I also finished Best Marigold Hotel, which was also worthwhile.) It sounds like Bethenny got that last line from the movie and like she thinks she’s going through some great personal struggle she needs to share with the world. Maybe by sharing her story she’ll help some other very wealthy women with multi-million dollar empires struggling with divorce. I know I’m being a sarcastic bitch, but it’s hard to feel sorry for her at all.

As I mentioned, Bethenny has been trying to ensure that she has sole physical custody of her daughter, Brynn, while her ex is willing to share 50/50 custody. They live in the same city, I don’t get why she can’t share custody. It sounds like her definition of “amicable” is her ex rolling over and agreeing to whatever she wants. That’s probably why they split up in the first place.

Bethenny is shown out last week with her daughter. Jason is shown on 4-19 outside a divorce hearing. Credit: PCN Photos and

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66 Responses to “Bethenny Frankel didn’t know divorce was hard ‘I really did think it would be amiable’”

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  1. Cece says:

    Nothing about this woman suggests that her divorce would be amicable. She came out swinging with a demand of sole custody and my best is that her team is the source of some nasty rumors about him. She’s playing the PR game. Poor kid.

    • Anonny says:

      What nasty rumors? Because something doesn’t seem right about this. He’s always come across as a nice guy who got caught in the gears of the Bethenny Machine, and it doesn’t make any sense why custody can’t be shared. Unless she’s sitting on something she doesn’t want to say.

      • Cece says:

        there were some leaked stories about how he was broke, using her for her money, and how he was involved in some shady business dealings. i don’t follow these two, but i do remember the stories from when the divorce first was announced.

  2. DanaG says:

    Sounds like Bethany thought Hoppy would just roll over and play nice. Why shouldn’t he get 50/50 custody he has been a parent maybe even more at times then she has. What with her building her empire and all. I saw her show a couple of times and it was nowhere near a healthy relationship of course Bethany probably thinks none of it is her fault. I hope the judge does the right thing for the baby. Does this mean we are going to get yet another crap Bethany reality show her trying to get yet another husband?

    • Steph says:

      What I’m thinking her reasoning behind sole custody is to receive child support payments. That’s the main reason I can think of her calling that.

      Jason seems and has voiced, that he loves his child so I’m baffled as to why she is so adamant on having sole custody. Poor Brynn really

  3. aims says:

    I think you’re right. She wanted the divorce in her terms. This is a classic example of, if I don’t get my way then you’re a prick. She’s all about her and everyone else is below her.

  4. ALG says:

    She thought she could just steamroll and badger him into giving her whatever she wants. Good for him for sticking up for himself.

  5. Talie says:

    “I wrote that entire statement myself. And every single word, I believed to be true.”

    This line says it all…

  6. RHONYC says:

    i am Team Bryn!

    Bethenny needs to get her head out of her ass and do absolutely E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G necessary to ensure Jason is in their child’s life nearly 100%!

    ¡basta! 😡

    • Chicagogurl says:

      Yes! Jason is a great guy and his parents are lovely and Bryn’s only family. I wonder if this has more to do with her wanting to move to LA and take Bryn with her. I bet she doesn’t want to stay in NYC.

      Does anyone have the scoop on Jason wearing the ring? Did he not want this divorce?

  7. brin says:

    LOL…I didn’t know she was so funny!

  8. Jacqueline says:

    She was barely amiable to him while they were married. She has changed so much, at least in terms of how she carries herself publicly, as she has gotten more and more fame. I really used to like her, but now I find her to be insufferable.

  9. JosieJ says:

    I can’t stand this woman. I hope Jason gets everything.

    She whines about her childhood but then tries to make sure the father of her child ( who by all accounts is a great dad) never sees her or has any right to her.

    I hope this woman falls and falls hard.

    • Ally8 says:

      Sorry to go all pop psychology here, but she’s probably trying to raise her daughter the way she was raised, i.e. with no father and a hysterical mother. It’s what she knows and is comfortable with.

  10. Sam says:

    Betthany, here’s a rule of thumb: unless your ex is a criminal, drug user, insane or otherwise would put your child in jeopardy, there is no good reason to go for sole custody. She is a little girl. Little girls thrive when they have dads who love them and take an active role in their lives. Sole custody would not benefit your daughter. It would only benefit you. A good mother would not keep her child from her dad without good cause.

    Asking for sole custody without good cause is not “amicable.” Not even close.

    • Esmom says:

      “A good mother would not keep her child from her dad without good cause.”

      This. I cannot believe she is incapable of realizing this. She is making this about her and not about her daughter, which is disgusting.

    • Anonny says:


  11. Mims says:

    I think the title should be “amicable” not “amiable”.

  12. Sabrine says:

    She wants it all her way. The baby has a dad who wants only the best for his daughter, to share custody fairly with the mother. Instead he has these legal roadblocks in his way paid for with the best pitbull lawyers Bethany’s money can buy. How sad for the little girl to have a selfish mother like this.

    I think he will prevail. Any judge will see through her devious behaviour and give the dad equal custody.

  13. lucy2 says:

    She didn’t know divorce would be hard? Shh, no one tell her about water being wet, let’s let her find that one out on her own.

    Unless there is a legit safety concern, keeping the kid away from her father is going to hurt the kid more than anyone else.

  14. mel says:

    When will women like Bethanny and Halle Berry learn that some men refuse to be treated as a sperm donor?

  15. junegorilla says:

    Nice job giving your daughter the same childhood that your self absorbed nutcase parents gave you. Give that poor child to her Father to raise.

  16. the original bellaluna says:

    DUMBASS!!! If you can’t make a marriage work, what makes you think a divorce would be easy?

  17. MrsB says:

    You mean trying to take somebody’s child away from them for no good reason didn’t work out the way you thought it would?!?! Poor Bethenny…and I mean that, she is delusional.

  18. Isabella says:

    Regardless, divorces are hard 🙁 a death of sorts

  19. Relli says:

    UM, isn’t this the same woman who introduced herself on her first first intro as the ORIGINAL Runaway bride? So if that were true and she has walked away from a few marriages wouldn’t she have already been through divorce!?! So the isn’t her first time to the rodeo its just the first time children are involved and she wants control.

    • Holly says:

      Definitely not her first divorce, and I think her first husband had kids who lived with them (I’m not 100% on that), so absolutely nothing here is new really… I can’t decide if I want her to get stuck with the “Runaway Bride” print that was a wedding gift from Jason, or if I want him to be able to cash it in. I read elsewhere that she was fighting him over the ownership of [his] laptop!

    • MrsB says:

      Wow! I had no idea she had been married before. Makes her comments sound even more ridiculous if that is possible!

      • Holly says:

        Yeah, a guy named Peter Sussman, back in the late 90s, and it didn’t last very long. When she left him, she was hooking up with his close friend (the usher at their wedding) for a while, maybe until the beginning of her Skinnygirl days I think. She’s a piece of work.

      • Relli says:

        Yes girl! Thanks Holly for the intel, I always forget the specifics but I watched RHNYC the first few seasons and she definitely talked about having gone through a divorce and doing things different the next time around and having a real family. I never watched Bethany Ever After but I have heard that her true colors started to show.

  20. Holly says:

    Oh boy, in the pic with the red jeans her jaw is looking super pregnant (for anyone who watched her show and saw it firsthand).

    She’s definitely maintained or lost weight though which makes me wonder if it’s (Bethenny’s) pregnancy jaw or swollen glands from bulimia; either way, it’s not normal, even for her.

    She sounds like an asshole every time she opens her mouth – and that goes for the entire past 5 months.

  21. embertine says:

    Regardless of the intense vileness of this woman, I would say that divorce is indeed one of the worst things that can happen. It is well known to be in the top five stressors. Frankel may be horrible, but after watching my mum go through divorce I wouldn’t minimise the impact it can have on a person.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      It IS hard, and oftentimes it degenerates to “Well, I’m not giving you back the game system until you give me my CDs!” and stuff like that.

      When kids are involved, it’s even worse. But one thing I know to be true: You don’t deny a child a good parent, period.

  22. HK9 says:

    OK, here’s how it goes, if you want an amicable divorce, you need to do some simple things,

    1)Put the child first and deal with the 50/50 custody. You live in the same city, suck it up buttercup
    2)Get the best therapist you can to help you suck it up
    3)Keep seeing said therapist so you can get on with your life, leave all bitterness behind, be able to be genuinely civil to the ex and not make the same mistakes again.

    This is NOT all about you Bethany~deal with it.

  23. Murphy says:

    If my SO used me for a baby and a wedding spin-off then tried to divorce me with the crappiest settlement ever I would refuse to be amicable too.

  24. Felicia says:

    I watched her show a little bit and he seemed like a caring and involved dad. I have no clue why she’d deny him 50/50 custody – especially given that they live in the same city. Weird.

  25. Miss T says:

    I read that she hired Katie Holmes’ lawyer. I bet she thought that Jason would simply hand sole custody over to her just as Tom Cruise did. The difference is that Jason isn’t some creepy scientologist with secrets to hide. Good for Jason for not backing down. He has every right to equally involved in his daughter’s life.

    • TG says:

      I read that too and I wonder what her lawyers were thinking. I mean they would understand that Katie Holmes case was completely different from Bethenny’s. I also saw on one of the sights last night they she successfully petitioned the court to have an anonymous divorce so now none of it will be public knowledge so she can be as evil as she wants and no one will be the wiser and she and her lawyers/PR team can spin it the way they want it and put out all kinds of bad stuff on the dad. Apparently it is very difficult to get an anonymous divorce so she would have had to prove that it would in some way harm her. I wonder if she used some mental health excuse since it is obvious she has major mental health issues based on the way she went out swinging for full custody with no cause other than she doesn’t like to share. I just feel bad for the parent (usually the dad) who has to fight tooth and nail to have equal access to their child in a system that seems to favor the more powerful parent. The comments I have seen on other sites discussing Bethenny have been interesting because it seems that the majority of people commenting have been her fans and even they are disturbed by her behavior.

  26. I work in family law and what is this woman thinking?–the only dads who do not get joint custody since the 90’s with significant parenting time are total loser dead beats or the trailer park guy who is too busy peeing in the cup for his probation or parole officer. Oh thats right she can’t think bc her anorexic self is too hungry to think!

  27. truthful says:

    She is going to be sorry when her daughter reads this later in life.

    Lil girls love their daddies, when mine was alive, he shared custody w/my grandmother, after my mom died..I looked forward to all of those weekends and holidays.

    I hope that Bryn is hell on wheels and makes her days and nights a living hell.

    Jason deserves partial custody, she is a moneygrubbing control freak.

  28. Stacia says:

    From watching the reality show, JHoppy seemed like a good guy that unfortunately got with a talk-to -much, neurotic, money-chasing, psycho-witch with deep-rooted psychological issues that stemmed from her realationship with her mother. Bethanny is very controlling and narcissistic. He is more laid back and humble. Any real man would not stand to be pushed around and dominated by the likes of her ..that’s why they divorced. She should be thankful that he wants to share a relationship with their daughter. What a stupid broad!

  29. Yasmine says:

    I promise her, Halle, and padma Lakshmi should all be BFF’s since their for no good reason trying to remove the father of their daughters out of their lives because the guys turned out to have backbones and wanted to be apart of their kid’s lives. The fact that women like this exist is disgusting.

  30. Emily says:

    Is divorce one of the most stressful things for healthy people living in North America or another peaceful place who don’t have to worry about paying their bills? Sure.

    She said divorce was the hardest thing ever. Forget death camps, rape, torture, disability, not being able to afford medical care, the death of a child, being homeless, war, starvation, environmental catastrophe. Nope, divorce is the worst thing that could EVER happen to ANYONE. That is a crock. An overprivileged, deeply stupid crock. And her divorce is nowhere near as hard as most divorces are on most women who get divorced — she doesn’t have to worry about money.

    • Leen says:

      I hate to defend her but… Breakdowns of relationship are really horrible and can make you feel like the world is ending.
      Mind you, I’ve lived In a conflict some for 20 + years, so I’ve seen some ugly things and I’ve suffered from PTSD. But I can safely say the worst thing that ever happened to me was the breakdown of a 5+ year relationship. Honest to god, at that point, I would have much rather runaway from tanks than go through that again.
      My point is, I don’t think you realize how much a divorce or a breakup can affect someone.

  31. janice says:

    Why would 50/50 be a better option? A child should
    not spend every other day with a parent or a week on and a week off. The child should be with her mother
    and have liberal visitation with the father. Hoppy is a loser in my opinion. Hanging on for the money. Dude get a job, get your own home and move on.

    • Barhey says:

      Why does a child automatically have to be with the mother? There are many cases in which fathers make excellent primary caregivers. Just because you are female doesn’t mean you’re the better parent automatically.

    • Potato_Chip says:

      bethany is that you skinnygirl sweetpea??

    • Nina W says:

      It’s silly to suggest one parent has more right to the child than the other.

  32. Amanda says:

    What a raging b!tch. I can’t believe I used to like her. What was wrong with me!?!

  33. Holden says:

    I wonder if Bethany would even be friends with Bethany?

  34. natace14 says:

    Sadly, her desire for sole custody doesn’t surprise me. It was obvious from watching her show that everything revolved around her. She probably thinks of Brynn as “her” daughter as opposed to “their” daughter (she reminds me of Halle Berry in that respect). Ugh.

  35. Viggo says:

    Bethenny is being completely unfair and petty. I’ve watched her show and the only stable forces in that child’s life are her dad and paternal grandparents. A good chunk of the show revolved around Bethany and her abandonment issues and lack of trust, which was symptomatic of a dysfunctional childhood. As a woman who grew up without her father being present in her life, and a mother who was not at all nurturing, you’d think she’d want better for her daughter(given the fact that Jason is very involved in his daughter’s life). I’m glad that he’s not giving up and rolling over to her bullshit. This hearkens back to the same stunt Hallie Berry tried to pull with Gabriel Aubrey.

  36. anon1 says:

    She’s a full blown narcissist who loves/lives to play the victim.
    I can’t stand her.

  37. Garvels says:

    Bethany seems the type to use her money to win Bryn over as she gets older. Bethany also seems the type to make Bryn choose between her or her father.

  38. Sumodo1 says:

    Don’t hate me for saying this: I hope her talk show crashes and burns.

  39. Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

    Why wouldn’t she think he would roll over and do what she wanted in the divorce? He’s been following her around like a puppy, lapping up her fame and living off her $$$ since the day they met.
    I don’t agree with her that they shouldn’t share custody of the kid, but that Jason dude is no prize: total mama’s boy and player until he hit pay dirt with a real housewife.
    Bethanny is no angel, but I can see how his sudden spine growth might be confusing to her one-track mind.

    • Nina W says:

      Who cares how much money he has if he’s a good father to his daughter?

      • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

        I certainly don’t. Did you even read my post? I said they SHOULD share custody.

  40. Rinny says:

    Call me CRAZY… I know I shouldn’t… but against my better judgements, I do like Bethenny! I don’t know why…

    Divorce IS hard. If you haven’t been through one – you just don’t know.

    That being said, I fear this divorce is going to be even harder on her daughter… which is sad!

    • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

      I like Bethenny too. She’s honest, funny, ambitious, a hard worker…
      I’m not saying I’d want to hang around with her, she’s a little too “energetic” for my sluggish social style, but she was fun to watch on RHNYC and the first season of her “…Married” show.
      I admire her chutzpah.

  41. pnichols says:

    You would think a person who had zero relationship with her own father, and who is so damaged because of it, would learn from her experiences. Depriving her daughter of that relationship is so unnecessary and pointless. She expected him to just roll over because she always needs to be alpha dog. Clearly she has learned nothing so clouds or no clouds Bethanny is useless.

  42. Peanut says:

    Celebitchy, I usually agree with your posts but you really have a chip on your shoulder about Bettheny’s divorce. Just because she’s wealthy doesn’t make divorcing the father of your child any easier.

    I hope you never have to go through a divorce. It’s harder than you think. Much harder.

  43. Sugar says:

    this divorce is soooo much harder than she thought because a child is involved this time. I think she is realizing that others do matter. The child has a daddy & the daddy has a child too it’s not just Bethany that factors into her wanting out of the marriage she has to be willing to giver her daughter what she herself was deprived of-a father who does want to raise his daughter too because um Bethany he loves her. A foreign concept for you.

  44. Trixie says:

    CB, I’m with you, just finished watching Silver Linings Playbook- what a BEAUTIFUL, moving film with so much heart and touching hilarity.