Over the weekend, we discussed the stupidity of Oprah’s grand plan to make Lindsay Lohan into some kind of reality star. Oprah has signed Lindsay up for LL’s first post-rehab interview PLUS Oprah is giving Lindsay some kind of OWN reality show. It’s a trainwreck, and Oprah is basically scraping the bottom of the gin-soaked barrel with this mess. Oprah has her own issues, of course – OWN is tanking, Oprah is losing money, and no one really cares in general. So Oprah is going full-on tabloid media now. And it’s costing her a pretty penny too:

Lindsay Lohan’s guts don’t come cheap, because we found out she’s spilling them to Oprah at a cost of around $2 million.

Sources close to Lindsay tell us … The Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) has been negotiating with Lindsay for 4 months. The plan — an 8-part docu-series about Lindsay’s struggles, her career and her plans for the future — but we’re guessing it’s mostly about her struggles.

It’s a better deal for Lindsay than just taking her top off. For that … Playboy paid her a measly $1 mil.

Ironically … Lindsay’s latest rehab stint may have scored her more cash, because of the drama and interest created around almost going to jail, firing her lawyer, going to Betty Ford, bailing from Betty Ford … and on and on.

Sources tell us … Lindsay actually signed the deal at Betty Ford.

Lindsay got some perks from Oprah as well — as in TWO fully-paid assistants and a stylist.

Substance abuse can pay handsomely — Who knew?

[From TMZ]

It’s cracked-out insanity that Lindsay’s “tell-all” miniseries and interview is worth $2 million at this point. Granted, I’ll watch the interview, but that’s only because it’s my job. And while I’m not an expert on celebrities and what they’re worth, I think Oprah just got grifted from the biggest bunch of crack-grifters in Hollywood. There is no way, no how that the Cracken is worth $2 million. No one else would have paid even close to that. Andy Cohen’s wonk eye judges Oprah.

And if that’s not the worst part, perhaps this is – Dina Lohan is already giving interviews about how Oprah is Lindsay’s “mentor” now. This is what you get, Oprah. This is what you get for getting into bed with this cracked-out family.

Dina Lohan couldn’t be happier that Lindsay Lohan is going to work for Oprah Winfrey. Turning up at Real Housewives star Jill Zarin’s first annual Luxury Ladies’ Luncheon presented by the European Wax Center, the troubled starlet’s mom dished to E! News about the eight-part reality series Lohan’s doing for OWN that will chronicle her journey to rebuild her career once she’s out of rehab.

“Oh, it’s fantastic. If anyone is going to help mentor you, it’s going to be Oprah,” Dina told us over the weekend.

Asked whether she’ll appear on the program, the elder Lohan hinted that was a likely scenario.

“Possibly! It’s about family…and I’m family,” she said.

As for how LiLo is doing as she finishes up her last few weeks in treatment, Dina noted her daughter’s in a really good place.

“She’s happy, she’s healthy and she’s amazing. She’s doing really well,” she said.

Lohan also denied rumors that Lindsay was going to go back to living with her at the family’s home on Long Island.

“Lindsay is 27, my kids all have their own places,” Dina told us. “She’s not going to move back home. She’ll be getting an apartment in New York. She’ll be in New York. It’s great because [sister Ali] is in New York with Wilhelmina models. [Son] Michael is in New York. My other little guy [son Dakota] is 17 and he’s still at home and going to St. Anthony’s. The rest may come home to mom, but they don’t want to live with me.”

Lohan’s scheduled to sit down with Winfrey for an in-depth interview as soon as she completes the 90-day court-ordered stint in rehab next month, which she received as part of a plea deal stemming from misdemeanor charges following a June 2012 car wreck. The actress is also expected to make her first post-rehab appearance walking the red carpet at The Canyons premiere at the Venice Film Festival.

Lohan’s docu-series is scheduled to air on the cable network in 2014.

[From E! News]

I think the reality show will go one of two ways. The first possibility is that Oprah’s cameras won’t even try to follow Lindsay while she’s clubbing and binge-drinking, the cameras will just act as a “white-wash” so that Lindsay can act like she’s the most persecuted crack-baby in the world. The second possibility is that Oprah will feel like the cameras are entitled to get the whole story, and she will force Lindsay to take the cameras everywhere, which will cause an entirely new drama, and at the end of the day LL will back out of the deal with Oprah. And then Lindsay will sue Oprah, and then I’ll laugh. Because that’s what you get for getting into bed with these people.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.