Johnny Depp & Armie Hammer in Japan: who would you rather?

Here are some new (?) photos of Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp shilling, shilling, shilling away for The Lone Ranger in Toyko. Have we even discussed how badly The Lone Ranger bombed in the domestic box office? It bombed. Without question. On opening weekend, it made less than $30 million. You know how much it cost to MAKE? $250,000,000. Yes. $250 million for Johnny Depp to stick a dead crow on his head and play cowboys & Indians. So, even I have to admit that I was wrong about it – I thought for sure it would be a hit movie, and that little kids would be imitating Tonto all summer. Thankfully, little kids are more interested in the Minions in Despicable Me 2. Those minions are super-cute.

Anyway, that was just a long way of saying that Johnny Depp really needs the Asian markets to really bring in the dough. So Johnny, Armie Hammer, Armie’s wife Elizabeth and Johnny’s lovah Amber Heard (sidenote: I seriously almost typed “Amber Rose” and how great would that be?!) are all in Japan. Amber did not walk the red carpet with Depp, but I know she’s there because there were photos of her in Japan with Johnny’s children yesterday. You can see those pics here.

So Depp only had his necklaces, scarves and vest for the premiere and photocall. And Armie, of course. So, who would I rather? Imagine trying to get past the scarves, the necklaces, the rings, the sunglasses, the VEST and the cigarette smoke…? I’m sorry, I’d rather bang Armie, even though he’s a gigantic puppy-like dork.

Update by CB: Here are some photos of Johnny and Armie at a photocall in Tokyo yesterday as well new pics of Amber Heard and Johnny’s family today at the airport.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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66 Responses to “Johnny Depp & Armie Hammer in Japan: who would you rather?”

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  1. Bubulle says:

    No contest Armie.

    • Anna says:

      Ditto all the way. He’s a tall, cute, charming drink of water.

    • Summer says:

      Yes he’s like two guys in one.

    • Bubulle says:

      I used to have the biggest crush on Johnny but all those years of drinking caught up with him,I think Winona, Kate and Vanessa got the best years of Johnny’s hotness, I’m sure Amber doesn’t mind as long as he is rich and famous.

  2. TheOriginalKitten says:


    I’m starting to feel kind of bad for Johnny…

    • kate says:

      why would you feel bad for johnny? he is looking fantastic for his age and he is dating a gorgeous woman who loves him and take care of him and his kids

    • Jade says:

      I agree! ones a douche and the others ugly has hell! the lone flop lol

  3. sirsnarksalot says:

    It’s about time for Depp to stop playing dress up and prove he can act.

  4. um.. neither but if I had to choose it would be Johnny for nostalgia sake.

    I know it’s been discussed before but there is something old about Armie’s wife.. I dunno, very odd.

  5. boredbrit says:

    On another note Hammer’s wife is hot.

  6. j.eyre says:

    Johnny. Mostly out of nostalgia but I do think he’s looking better these days. And I can sate my desire for nicotine by licking his cheek.

    Although Armie is nice looking, I admit that moaning “Armie” at the height of passion is proving troublesome for me.

    • Sixer says:

      Miss Eyre – are you also a non-smoking smoker? Have you tried vaping?

      • j.eyre says:

        No, what is vaping? I am rather versed in vamping, but I don’t think that is the same thing.

        Mr. Rochester asked me to quit as my wedding gift to him ten years ago. I only get to smoke in Europe and when the Scottish godfather comes to the US for visits. I miss it terribly.

        How long have you had to go without?

    • Heebeegeebee says:

      J. Eyre you are a riot! Congratulations on 10 years of smoke free wedded bliss 🙂

  7. Jane says:

    Johnny…always Johnny. I say leave him be, let him act the way he wants. If he wants to play “dress up” and do strange characters then so be it. It is what makes him unique and special. He is still sexy and love him for it.

  8. Talie says:

    So I guess Armie talking about being stabbed during sex didn’t help pump up the family box office? Hmmm…I’m perplexed.

  9. BooBooLaRue says:

    geezus Kaiser, you made me spill my coffee! “Imagine trying to get past the scarves, the necklaces, the rings, the sunglasses, the VEST and the cigarette smoke…?”

  10. lisa2 says:

    I hope the movie does well overseas. I’ll see it on dvd. But I hate this new trend of trashing movies before they are seen or have had their full run at the theater. I hate that OW has become the win of any film. That this is now the standard. That if a film is not huge OW then it is a failure. OR if a film has pre production problems. Which is not unusual it is a fail and a bomb.

    This kind of thinking is destroying films and it is becoming a steep slope that will be hard to overcome. Let a movie complete it’s theatrical run before calling it a failure.

    morning rant over

    • Michele says:

      lisa2, I so agree. I’ve seen the movie and it not only isn’t bad, it’s very entertaining. Not a great movie, but then, when’s the last time Hollywood created an ORIGINAL, great movie?

      One not a remake or a sequel or based on a book or some natural disaster or true story?

      I can’t even recall. “Ranger” is better than most out there right now, matter of fact. And the scenery alone is worth the big screen price.

  11. Sue says:

    Johnny needs to grow up. Seriously if I saw someone in my city dressed like he does (scarves, the necklaces, the rings,etc.) I would think he was a homeless indivdual with a drug addiction or mental illness. This is a 50 year old! His poor kids they must be so embarassed.

    • amanda says:

      he has always dressed like this and he won’t change his style, his kids are not embarssed at all they adore him and don’t care what people thinks of him

  12. Annemarie says:

    Armie. He can pull my hair anyday 😉 (if you don’t get the reference, read his playboy interview)

    Johnny’s never done it for me, but he looked pretty good in his younger years.

  13. Rabia says:

    Neither. Depp looks ridiculous. Armie’s face is too pretty/girlish for my tastes, but at least he’s tall, I guess.

  14. T.fanty says:

    Depot by default. If I could talk Hammer into doing the things I wanted, I’d know he didn’t respect me.

  15. Emily C. says:

    I despise both of them. I wouldn’t even if they were the last men on earth and humanity would die out if I didn’t.

    • Suzie says:

      Video defending Polanski? You mean the press conference where he talked about the arrest? I heard a couple of quotes to the effect that he’s confused about whether money was involved, why they had to trap him after 30 years when they could’ve used the same strategy much before and it’s not like he’s some sort of a predator out on streets running and hiding.

      Letterman had referenced to the Polanski situation years ago and at that time Depp replied with a ‘whatever’. Maybe he wasn’t well-informed about the whole case, just had some suspicions based on whatever he heard. Infact Emir Kusturica was feeding him information even as he was talking.

      I don’t see his name on the list of ‘Free Roman Polanski’ petition signatories which has the names of Scorcese, David Lynch etc. So how is he exactly supporting that child-rapist Polanski?

    • Natalie says:

      Seeing Amber like this makes me feel sad about Johnny and Vanessa. Lily-Rose seems comfortable with the cameras but Jack doesn’t seem so, which is why Amber has a protective arm around him I guess.

      However I can’t help but feel that she also does that to improve her image as a ‘motherly’ figure and send a strong message that she’s at Vanessa’s place now. I’m yet to warm up to her.

      Guess the tabloids and haters will have a field-day trashing Depp with this. Johnny Depp has always come across as a thoughtful and generous man and I hope he behaves like a good father in the face of everything that’s been happening.

  16. NorthernGirl_20 says:

    Johnny all the way, have always had a crush on him always will..

    I went to see the movie and I LOVED it!! I thought it was great and I don’t understand why it is getting all the hate. Johnny and Armie were funny (I’d never heard of Armie before but he was really good and he’s hot IMO – only performance I didn’t like was the love interest – she bothered me). I recommend the movie to anyone it was really good.

    • Tig says:

      I saw the movie, and thought it was perfectly fine for what it is- summer escape. Loved the last 1/2 the best. I was a bit surprised by the level of brutality, tho.

      I had never seen the actress who played the love interest- I about dropped my teeth when I read somewhere she has won two Olivier awards for her stage work- what a waste of talent! Guess she really wants to break into H’wood!

      To answer question- Armie, esp if he rides up on Silver!

    • Lucinda says:

      I haven’t seen the movie but my friends did and they said it was great. They were shocked when I told them it was bombing at the box office.

  17. SamiHami says:

    Even though I would probably hate him in real life, I have to say Johnny.

    He makes me think of Steven Tyler in a way…not looks, of course! But they are both men who will never change. They have found who they are and that’s who they are going to be forever, no matter what. With both of them, what you see is what you get.

    • Melanie says:


      All that time Vanessa Paradis was credited for ‘taming’ him, I knew the relationship wouldn’t last. Men wouldn’t want to be ‘tamed’ all the time. Especially a self-assured cool cat like Depp. Somewhere along the way he probably just knew how to deal with his insecurities on his own but Paradis was probably onto the same problem that a lot of women face – trying to change the very same things in a man that made her fall in love with his personality in the first place.

      He’s known to be a good man and a father but also a true ‘Bohemian’ spirit.

  18. Jen says:

    Johnny Depp has been looking great recently. Armie is super-cute and charming but please it’s DEPP for me .
    And I wouldn’t mind getting past all the scarves and necklaces (but probably not the cigarette smoke) staring at and kissing that face

    • Lara says:

      I know I’m supposed to hate Depp because of the break-up, hooking-up with a young girl and ‘trying hard’, whatever that means, with too many scarves etc.
      However I’ve been following him on this ‘The Lone Ranger’ tour and couldn’t help but feel ‘it’. HE’S BEEN LOOKING DAMN GOOD.I know the trend is to trash him but damn me for being superficial.
      Also don’t worry he’s supposed to be such a generous man that he’ll probably do away with all danglies before the ‘fun’ starts. So yeah Depp.

      • Emily C. says:

        I don’t hate him because of anything you listed. I hate him because he made a video defending Roman Polanski.

  19. Berny says:

    Depp! he only needs to buy clothes of his size. ahaha

    Oh I saw the pictures with Amber and his children (arriving to japan and now leaving) and WOOOOOOOW! she looks very maternal with his children. Very protective with his son

    And his children seems to be really comfortable with her, like laughing and all.

    This relationship seems to be serious and very “old”. Like we are just knowing the “news” while maybe they even are living together

  20. MEL says:

    Depp all the way. I just saw a video of him at the Moscow premiere and he’s been looking delicious. However I do wish he does away with the homeless look.

    More serious issue is, when is he going to make a decent movie again???

    Armie is looking good as well. I hope ‘The Lone Ranger’ doesn’t drag him down with it.

  21. Jade says:

    Johnny Depp has been looking very attractive these days I must admit. The break-up was bad. I couldn’t believe how miserable he looked at that time. His and Vanessa’s was a great love so the break-up must’ve been toxic. I know people have been trashing him for having ‘mid-life’ crisis, not to mention dating a young Amber Heard, and all that but he just experienced a major regression as if he was finally free after going through a hard time.

    However he’s been looking relaxed and dashing eversince. Not sure what to make of Amber Heard yet but I just hope the kids are being taken care of in every respect. Only time can tell how they’ve fared after the worst hit.

    The movie wasn’t as bad as it was made out to be but it’s high time for Depp to shake up his career a bit. Although he still entertains me his schtick has become tiring to say the least.

  22. talia says:

    johnny all the way. armie who? he looks like a girl i prefer manly looking men like johnny who is a drop dead gorgeous.

  23. Melanie says:

    That hobo look again but as I’ve been saying it’s been a forever thing, so no point in giving him the cold-shoulder all of a sudden. Especially given that he’s looking very handsome and his premiere look isn’t all that bad.
    I like Armie but sorry he isn’t exactly the ‘sex symbol’ material for me. So the answer is Depp.
    People can check out this movie. It’s overlong and the pace is raggedy but was overall fun. Critics have been bit too hard on it I believe.

  24. grabbyhands says:

    Sadly, neither.

    Johnny killed my ladyboner for him with all of his sad mid life crisis drama and Armie Hammer looks like Ken doll.

    • funny says:

      its really funny how some people talks as if they know what johnny is going through i mean stop believing everything you read in those gossip websites! its all false no one really knows him he is pretty private

    • funny says:

      i didn’t realize that you are living with him!

  25. Steph says:

    Johnny used to be cute when he was in his 20s and 30s. Now he just looks dirty. Give the man a good scrubbing and a flea collar. And give us MORE IDRIS ELBA!!!!

    • thedora says:

      he has always looked dirty what the diffrenace now? he looked his best at his 40s and now is looking his cutest at his 50s. idris elba? YUCKKK he can’t handle a candle to johnny

  26. Hannah says:

    Depp is not hot anymore so it has to be arnie.

    • banana says:

      you have to get your eyes checked because he is looking super hot and gorgeous these days. just keep looking better and better each time i look at him.

  27. Ali says:

    Amber can have Johnny.

    • big lol says:

      like if you can really have armie, believe he wouldn’t give you a second look
      luck amber she have the most beautiful man on the planet

  28. Suzie says:

    Johnny Depp, all the way. Whatever is going on with his relationships, haters are going to hate but he’s a class-act. And he’s looking fantastic.
    Nice to see Armie and his wife. Saw the movie with my family and we’d nothing to complain of. It does have grim violence for a Disney movie and the humour was kind of flat at places but it was still a good summer flick.

  29. binturong says:

    I read that that other woman w/the white sunglasses is a friend of Amber’s? Hmmm, Johnny…could I be dirty-minded and wonder if my man has a threesome going?

  30. Kim says:

    The critics have practically annhilated the movie even before it hit the theatres.I was talking to many people about seeing the movie and many of them were like “but it’s got terrible previews”. In other words they had already decided not to see it even before the word-of-mouth reviews. No wonder it’s bombing.

    However it doesn’t deserve it. It was fun with some great action scenes and interesting visuals. I even liked Depp as Tonto, an effortless performance of deadpan parody and seriousness. It was respectful as well IMO. Infact the whole film had a thread of political satire with parallels drawn to current political scenario.

    I strongly believe that critics should be allowed to watch the movie along with the audience and there must be viewpoints from both the sides simultaneously. How annoying of them to kill a piece of work like this.

  31. Madison says:

    Saw Johnny Depp on TV and videos for the promotions of this movie. He’s SERIOUSLY a beautiful man. Even pictures don’t do justice for him.Armie Hammer looks good as well.

    Saw the movie and liked it. I liked Depp as Tonto. It was nothing like Jack Sparrow as critics blamed, except for a few facial tics but that happens to every actor. Infact it’s my favourite Depp performance compared to few of his recent movies. Critics are way too unfair about this but people need to see it.

  32. Tony says:

    They’re both too girly looking.

    LOL @ the comments saying Johnny is “manly” – He’s a PRETYBOY.

    Manly would be Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson, Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, and Jason Statham.

    Armie looks too feminine. Depp looks too feminine.

    You’re all blinded by Depp’s quirky/artsy personality.

    Armie is clearly the better looking of the two though. Depp is WAY past his prime. He looks like a disgusting old sleaze nowadays + he is a MANLET (5’9″)

    Armie is tall, young, and looks decent.

    LOL at the ridiculous comments. Just LOL.

    • Madison says:

      Sorry, Depp clearly appears more handsome to me. Depp isn’t too tall but I don’t care for a 6’5″ freak either. Who cares if Depp’s 50? all that matters is what he looks like and he’s been looking incredibly good. Armie is cute and dressed normally but looks like a dork.

    • Melanie says:

      Johnny Depp was a pretty boy but his features have matured. At this point Hugh Jackman and Depp are same for me. I’ve never been about Depp’s fashion sense but find him attractive irrespective of that. Armie is cute but he’s no sex-symbol material for me.

    • Kate says:

      It’s matter of opinions. Armie might be young and taller but he doesn’t do anything for me. Johnny Depp is still a beautiful man to look at and I don’t even care about his personality.

    • Nadia says:

      LOL! I’m actually blinded by Depp’s beauty that I’m not even annoyed by his ridiculous clothes as I should be. Sorry Armie!

  33. defacto says:

    I do like Armie, tall and handsome but Johnny Depp is simply more attractive and beautiful irrespective of his age. If you think it’s ridiculous that’s your problem.

  34. Marte says:

    Neither. Both are too feminine for my taste. I prefer manly men to girly men.

  35. Hawkeye says:

    Depp’s cool. Hollywood relationships are difficult to maintain especially when both of them are constantly working on different continents. Anyway I didn’t know what to make of Depp but a friend recently unearthed this link. It’s Vanessa Paradis’ words on Depp. Anyone grossly speculating on him should probably read this.‎

    The movie isn’t great, bit too overlong with a strange tone but it was worth remaining through the whole thing. Liked the climax. Me and boyfriend enjoyed it.

  36. Katie says:

    Johnny Depp looks great. It still hurts me to see him with Amber Heard but after spending so many years with a great woman like Vanessa Paradis I still have some belief left in his choices. And still by all accounts he’s an incredible man.
    Amber Heard is way younger, not much of a talent and her only claim to fame is being Depp’s girlfriend but for all we know, she might be a classy person herself. Afterall fame and talent maynot be the best indicators of a person’s goodness.

    Armie’s such a sweetheart that I don’t mind the suit. And I don’t know why nobody’s mentioning it but I thought he was super-hot in the movie. He reminds me of an old-school movie star.