Portia de Rossi: marriage ‘changed my life’

Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi
For us Arrested Development geeks, Portia de Rossi is a goddess. She played crazy, lovable loser Lindsay Bluth, sister to Buster, Michael and Gob of the Bluth family. Before AD, I had been “meh” about Portia, but after that show I realized how insanely talented she is – she has a real gift for comedy and slapstick. When she found personal happiness in a relationship with Ellen DeGeneres, I was surprised. Ellen is more than a decade older than Portia, and I didn’t want my girl to get hurt. Ellen made as honest woman out of Portia, as the couple were married last year to much fanfare.

Portia de Rossi has a new interview with People magazine in which she talks about how happy Ellen has made her, and how much marriage changed her life. It’s a really nice interview, but unfortunately she doesn’t discuss whether there will actually be an Arrested Development movie. Oh, well. Another time.

Five months after her wedding to Ellen DeGeneres, Portia de Rossi is declaring that marriage has “completely changed my life.”

“Marriage is a different way of being together,” the actress told People Friday while promoting her upcoming ABC series Better Off Ted at the Television Critics Association event in Pasadena, Calif.

Even though the couple have been together since 2004, tying the knot strengthened their bond. “There’s a peace to [being married] and a sense of togetherness that we just didn’t have before. And I didn’t even realize it would change as much as it has, but it’s so lovely,” said the actress.

“It’s legal, and it’s real, so there’s that kind of formality to it that makes it very valid,” added de Rossi. “I think the emotions that went with that as a gay woman kind of surprised me – that I would be that relieved to have my mother be present at the ceremony to bless the union, and to call [Ellen] her daughter-in-law.”

The actress said she’s also emerged as a more confident woman in recent years, both in her life and her career. “It’s so important to live an honest, open life and I didn’t really realize that until I started doing it,” she said.

De Rossi also holds out hope that other gay and lesbian couples will ultimately be able to enjoy the right to be legally married, a right that was repealed in California last fall shortly after their nuptials. “Every day of our lives is a protest against the passing of Prop 8,” she said. “We’re a happily married couple. It was kind of devastating, actually, when it passed.”

One element of their post-wedding life de Rossi isn’t looking forward to is taking the hot seat as a guest on DeGeneres’s daytime talk show, which she will “unfortunately” do to promote her new series.

“I say ‘unfortunately’ because it just seems like a very awkward kind of interview. She’ll make it flawless, and I’m excited to talk about the show,” she said. “I just hope she doesn’t ask any personal questions. That’s off limits!”

But doesn’t her spouse already know all the intimate personal details? “No, she doesn’t,” de Rossi said laughing. “That’s what I’m worried about. She could ask anything she wanted.”

From People

I tend to think that this is what the gay marriage cause needs – not simply protests, bans, campaigns, etc. The cause needs more gay couples to come forward and really talk about marriage, how getting married changed them, and how happy they are or would be married. It puts a human face on the issue, and demystifies it for many people. I think it’s really sweet that Portia likes that her mother can call Ellen her “daughter-in-law” – it’s the kind of little thing that would never occur to me.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are shown at the People’s Choice Awards on 1/7/09. Credit: PRPhotos

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi

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23 Responses to “Portia de Rossi: marriage ‘changed my life’”

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  1. Dirty Martini says:

    I’m still waiting on marriage to change my life. Four husbands later, still the same old stuff…………..

    hhhmm, maybe I should switch teams?


  2. Christianne says:

    Dirty Martini: Four husbands? Wow! I wish I could get at least ONE boyfriend!

  3. Bella Mama says:

    one’s enough. its not like the next one is going to be all that different so might as well stay with the one you know.

  4. vdantev says:

    I’m sure it has, she hasn’t experienced such a steady flow of income since before Arrested Development went belly-up.

  5. Baholicious says:

    Kaiser, could it be that it never occurred to you that Portia would be pleased about Ellen being referred to as daughter-in-law because you’re still seeing marriage through your ‘straight filter’ 😉 I do it too – it’s understandable considering that’s our frame of reference.

  6. Jane says:

    Your an asshole vdantev.

    I am happy for her. I am glad she and Ellen are so happy. Makes me want a girlfriend right now lol.

  7. Jane says:


    Won’t let me edit the post for some reason.

  8. vdantev says:

    I’m cynical, what can I say ? I was also being sarcastic- they make a lovely couple.

  9. elainebenes says:

    Dirty Martini…four? I had one & that scared me of marriage for life!!! You have guts.

    On another note, Am I blind, but where did you get you’re happy face?? No, I haven’t been drinking. But maybe it is time for a beer(s).

  10. elainebenes says:

    Dirty Martini…four? I had one & that scared me of marriage for life!!! You have guts.

    On another note, Am I blind, but where did you get your happy face?? No, I haven’t been drinking. But maybe it is time for a beer(s).

  11. elainebenes says:

    Sorry, I realized I put “you’re” instead of “your”. So glad no one knows who I really am !!

  12. Dirty Martini says:

    Yep, it’s true. Married at 20, divorced at 27. Married at 30, divorced at 37. Married at 40, divorced at 42. (that one really was a disaster….thisclose to being a con man….at least I didn’t keep him around after I found out.)

    Mr. Dirty Martini came along when I was 47. Celebrating the 3rd anniversary this month. This one’s a keeper.

    Unless I decide to switch teams, of course. Per Portia, Ellen seems to have something going on!
    Just sayin’..


  13. Me2 says:

    Love them. Funny how they’ll commit after yrs together, but a certain slap-together family keeps popping out and adopting babies without making it “legit”.

    Marriage is a commitment to each other above all others, AND A LEGAL STATE TO PROTECT THE CHILDREN INVOLVED.

    The term “partner” is reserved for those without the right, everybody else is just playing house.

  14. Aspen says:

    I totally agree Me2. Marriage isn’t JUST about kids, but children are best served by a marital state.

    I don’t consider marriage JUST the legal part. To me, if a gay couple stands before God with family and friends…makes the vows…and exchanges the rings…they’re married. If my daughter ends up being a lesbian, then I can guarantee you any woman she chooses to turn from a girlfriend into a real partner will be called “daughter-in-law” by me.

    There are many facets to the gay marriage argument. As hard as people want to push and insist that it IS…gay marriage is not a black and white civil rights issue for Americans. It’s very swirly gray. As long as that remains the case, people will have to support their gay family members, friends, and personal consciences the best and most loving way they can.

  15. elainebenes says:

    Congrats, Mrs. Dirty 🙂 Maybe there’s hope for me yet.

  16. Mandy says:

    I just don’t understand why anyone would want to deprive another person of love and happiness and stability. And as for that “threat to traditional marriage” nonsense, if your marriage is so fragile that it can be destroyed by a relationship between two people you know nothing about and will probably never meet, there wasn’t much hope for you anyway.

    Congrats and good luck to Portia and Ellen, and to the countless other couples who, over 230 years after Jefferson wrote that we are all entitled to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” are still being denied their basic human rights to love and marry as they choose.

  17. drm says:

    How great to see someone speak so openly and frankly…more of that attempt to live an ‘honest’ life that Portia was talking about…

    @ Ms Dirty Martini!! KICK A**WOMAN! I just got married for the second time on March 1st 2008 and this is my new husband’s third marriage…like your 3rd which lasted 2 years his number 2 lasted 10 months, a short time as well…some people were quite askance that I’d ‘seriously’ consider him…that was never an issue for me…I admire his courage and yours and my own :)…love is a neccessity in ones life not a luxury and I think we all keep trying until we get it as right as possible for ourselves 🙂

  18. Cha Cha says:

    Mandy, the truth is, a lot of PC people who disagree with it will come up with sugarcoated excuses to why they don’t think it should be allowed, when in fact, they were taught by their churches that it is an abomination and perverted, period. I love to hear all those invalid arguments they use so they don’t come off sounding like bigots, when in fact, that is exactly what they are. And this is coming from someone who was raised Christian.

  19. GimmeABreak says:

    This site is so therapeutic! I wasn’t for gay marriage until I recently got married. There’s something special that happens between two people when they publicly commit to one another.

    Everyone should have that! And the benefits that go along with it. I can’t imagine being committed to someone for years and not be able to have any privileges that go with it. That’s just not fair.

  20. Codzilla says:

    I’m still mourning the loss of AD. Let’s pray that whatever’s holding up the movie gets sorted out, so we can have our damn fix.

  21. brista says:

    I got you a wedding ring! …tone. Oppposite of serious…

  22. brista says:

    (And what happened to the edit feature on CB comments? :()

  23. “”Yep, it’s true. Married at 20, divorced at 27. Married at 30, divorced at 37. Married at 40, divorced at 42. (that one really was a disaster….thisclose to being a con man….at least I didn’t keep him around after I found out.)”

    Are you serious with this Ms. Martini?I mean I cant believe this.

    Anyways, the right time will come for all of us.