Sean Penn looks buff, orange, steroidy in London: would you hit it?

Here are some photos of Sean Penn resisting his urge to Hulk-smash a paparazzo in London yesterday. I’m not sure why Sean is in London (he’s staying at a hotel) or whom he’s banging while in town (hookers?). I have to admit something: there was a time when I would have definitely banged Sean Penn. Even though he was a d-bag back then, I’ve had real moments when I had a real attraction to him. Not so much anymore.

I just don’t understand this super-buff phase he’s been going through. I guess he started going through some stuff around the time he and Scarlett Johansson were banging, like that was the beginning of his mid-life crisis or something. He started working out all the time, and he started looking extremely orange. And these photos show that off in spectacular fashion. He looks like a steroid monster. An ORANGE steroid monster. If he keeps this up, Cameron Diaz is going to try to climb him like a tree. Seriously, he’s just her type.

Soon Sean will be out promoting a new documentary he produced and narrated called The Human Experiment. It’s a documentary about the chemicals in everyday products and how those chemicals are affecting all of us. It’s directed by Dana Nachman and Don Hardy Jr., who also worked with Penn on their previous film, Witch Hunt. Here’s the trailer:

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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87 Responses to “Sean Penn looks buff, orange, steroidy in London: would you hit it?”

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  1. Elisabeth says:

    hit it? not even with a rental

  2. PinkyTuscadero says:

    Yeah, um, no.

  3. bammer says:

    Omg he looks like Sylvester Stallone.

  4. MrsBPitt says:

    no, nada, never, never ever, not in a million years!

  5. j.eyre says:

    (I so rarely get to say this)

    No, I would not hit it

    • Sixer says:

      *fans Miss Eyre with an array of palm leaves*

      I wouldn’t hit it. But I like Sean. 1) He did Dead Man Walking, an all-time fave of mine. 2) He is a gobshite. Long live all gobshites.

      • j.eyre says:

        Oh heavens, where am I? Why am I am this settee… with my clothes on? I feel like there was a great disturbance in the force.

      • Sixer says:

        Miss Jane, if you can manage to call for the sal volatile, I have TommyAnne all ready and waiting with an antique silver tray bearing a bottle. He’s in pale blue satin livery just now but you could always take it off.

      • j.eyre says:

        Oh Christ yes. Get that in here post haste.

  6. julies29 says:

    He looks like he’s doing the bieber squinty eyes/eyebrow lift.

  7. LittleMissSunshine says:

    Ew. Not even with a full body condom.

  8. brin says:

    With a two by four.

  9. Aussie girl says:

    Roids & spray tanning will do that to you

  10. TherapyCranes says:

    Hhahaha NO

  11. bns says:

    Give Mickey Rourke his Oscar, Sean.

    (Yes, I’m still bitter about it)

  12. dante says:

    I don’t know about ‘hitting it’ as he’s not really my type, but considering this guy is 53 years old, I’d say he doesn’t look bad, not one bit. Hard to be in that kind of shape at 33 no less 53.

  13. DawnOfDagon says:

    Not my type, but his documentary… now that I want to watch.

  14. Elodie says:

    Oh hell yes hit with all my lady fists all right!

  15. T.Fanty says:

    No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

    In short: no.

    Plus, (and I don’t mean this flippantly), I’d be too worried that he’d hit me back. The man’s a brutal neanderthal.

    • Sixer says:

      I raise you Harvey Milk?

      • T.fanty says:

        A person can be an avid supporter of LGBTQ rights and still be an alcoholic ragey misogynist. One thing doesn’t preclude the other.

      • Sixer says:

        I meant more the portrayal than the taking of the role? Presumably there’s something in there that he drew on?

        I do like him for the gobshite reasons outlined above – but I see you properly don’t like him. I shan’t tease you about him any further, cara mia.

      • T.fanty says:

        Sorry, lovely. I have no sense of humour when it comes to this man. He repels me.

      • Miranda says:

        Looking at these picks
        makes me want to see Harvey Milk again. Sean is a great actor.

  16. LadyAnne says:

    Gross.

  17. Barrett says:

    Um he and Madonna now have the same arms . They should hit it again (literally and figuratively)!

  18. Froggy says:

    Wonder if he’ll put the effects steroids have on the body in his documentary.

  19. taxi says:

    He looks tired & the veins are creepy.

  20. truthful says:

    NOPE, but unfortunately Scarlette J did!

    LOL

  21. mkyarwood says:

    Not for all the chocolate in Wonka’s factory.

  22. starrywonder says:

    I remember how sexy he used to be. He looks awful these days. Maybe if he gives up the self tanner he would be okay

  23. Isa says:

    He reminds me of Freddy Kruger.

  24. HK9 says:

    Could someone please tell me how a man like Sean Penn ends up orange???sigh…..

  25. Runs with Scissors says:

    He looks like Popeye…and not in a good way.

  26. janie says:

    This guy has always scared me, he’s too unpredictable! I have to give his x-wife kudos for lasting as long as she did. He’s so intense! He & Madonna should hook up, they’re more alike than not.

    • Drea says:

      Sean Penn was physically and sexually abusive to Madonna during their marriage, including sending her to the hospital after he cracked her across the head with a baseball bat – so no, Madonna shouldn’t get back together with this scumbag.

  27. lori says:

    He must be taking HGH and Testosterone.

  28. Frida_K says:

    The orange skin and the Bitter Betty expression are a turn-off but I do like his shredded body.

  29. dholmas says:

    He is not aging well in the face. My husband is 67 and looks younger than him. Oh and my husband still has a buff body. Sean is just creepy looking.

  30. fingerbinger says:

    I love Sean Penn and yes I would.

  31. snappyfish says:

    sean penn has a face begging to be punched.

    so…no.

    • Veeeeery Veerytas says:

      It looks like it already has been…many times. Still I’d like a shot at it. Damn Spiccoli.

  32. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    He looks like a Bassett hound. That wasn’t very nice, was it?

  33. iwannarock says:

    Trying to look all cool and sh*t but wearing reading glasses! Didn’t you get the memo of your age? I think it got lost in the mail with Madge’s one! Act your age people.

    • fingerbinger says:

      I’ve been wearing glasses since I was 14. So you can have crappy eyesight at any age. And I am cool with my 4 eyes. 😉

  34. Mandy says:

    Young Sean Penn-YES. HELL YES.
    Old Sean Penn-mmmm, not so much.

    • halleygee says:

      Agree, had a huge crush on him in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” – now, not so much.

      • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

        Now he looks and seems like a cranky old guy–probably because he treated the only person who would put up with him like shit.

        I will gladly watch “Up at the Villa”, to see his charming ass–but that’s it. He’s not attractive to me at all anyone-the orangey roidey crap is just the icing on the cake.

  35. QQ says:

    *sigh* i have a confession to make

    I’d hit it once… Real quick 😔

    Then the shame Orgasm would be too much and Id just have to fling myself into a rocky shore during high tide

  36. Sloane Wyatt says:

    His face looks like the deflated leather ass of ass-less chaps.

  37. mercy says:

    God, I hope he’s not on any kind or steroids. He already has a well-documented bad temper.

    He is a good actor, but there are lots of good actors who don’t come with his baggage.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is, NO. 😉

  38. Bianca says:

    For a moment I thought I was looking at pictures of Gordon Ramsey. Trippy.

  39. atorontogal says:

    Hit it? Gawd no…..f*ck no! No f*kn way. But yes, he can act. Just to reiterate…..NO.

  40. Ok says:

    I don’t think he looks like a roid monster. I thinks he looks pretty fantastic, albeit a bit on the sienna side.

    But hit it? Ew. His personality gets in the way.

    Then again, I will bet you that when he is amorous and focused, he is probably pretty irresistible.

  41. madchen says:

    I miss Spiccoli.

  42. OhDear says:

    Isn’t he known to be a woman beater a la Chris Brown?

    • Drea says:

      Yes, but Sean Penn is white, so he’s judged by a different standard.

      I hope that no one who finds young Sean Penn hot has the nerve to judge girls who have crushes on Chris Brown, especially when you consider that Penn’s attacks on Madonna were even more brutal than Brown’s assault on Rihanna.

      • Trashaddict says:

        Oh God I’m sick of this double standard shit, I find Sean Penn and Chris Brown totally on par with each other on the douche meter. Actually, Sean probably out-douches Chris. So I don’t know who all you think is applying this double standard, but don’t count me among them.

  43. SolitaryAngel says:

    Sure, I’d hit it–with a truck, a car, a bus….

  44. Saffron says:

    He’s a walking PSA for what can happen when you abuse drugs and alcohol. He finally has the face he deserves.

  45. Superhtg says:

    Just a random and my first comment ever, but Celebitchy has the BEST & FUNNIEST commenters of any site – continue on while I wipe tears of laughter 🙂

  46. Str8Shooter says:

    Hit it with WHAT is the question??

  47. homegrrrrl says:

    Two words

    Carrot. Top