I really didn’t want to cover the Alec Baldwin crap last week. Let me be more specific, because Alec Baldwin has proven time and time again that he’s a whirlwind of f–kery, capable of ruining any public sympathy he has received. In the beginning of last week, Alec appeared in court at the trial of his not-so-alleged stalker. Alec apparently wept on the witness stand, and it seems like his stalker really did have some serious mental health issues. And for that, Alec could have easily ridden out a wave of public sympathy for having to deal with a bad situation. But of course Alec ruined it.
Just a few days later, Alec went ballistic on some paparazzi yet again, because all a photographer has to do is get slightly near Alec and he will have a full-fledged meltdown. What made this meltdown “special” was that Alec ran after the paparazzo, screaming that the guy was a “c—ksucking f-g”. This is not even the first time THIS YEAR that Alec has dropped some homophobic slur, and of course GLAAD issued a strongly worded statement. Alec claimed that he hadn’t dropped the f-bomb, he says he yelled “fathead”. You can see the video here if you want audio proof of what he said.
So, the backlash began. GLAAD issued a statement, Anderson Cooper shaded him on Twitter, and everyone had a come-to-Jesus moment where we collectively said, “Ah, yes. Now I remember. Alec Baldwin is an a—hole.” Alec tried to downplay the incident by doing an impromptu press conference with his “gay friend” (his hairdresser) too – go here to see. Feel free to shake your head in amusement and disgust.
What’s funny (I guess?) is that Alec is now part of a cable news family – he’s had a Friday night show on MSNBC for a month or whatever (I’ve never watched it). Well, MSNBC wanted no part of Homophobic Alec, so Alec was suspended for two weeks and he had to issue this apology on MSNBC.com:
I would like to address the comments I made this past week.
I did not intend to hurt or offend anyone with my choice of words, but clearly I have – and for that I am deeply sorry. Words are important. I understand that, and will choose mine with great care going forward. What I said and did this week, as I was trying to protect my family, was offensive and unacceptable. Behavior like this undermines hard-fought rights that I vigorously support. I understand “Up Late” will be taken off the schedule for tonight and next week.
I want to apologize to my loyal fans and to my colleagues at msnbc – both for my actions and for distracting from their good work. Again, please accept my apology.
[Alec’s statment, via MSNBC]
Imagine how awkward it would be if Alec and Rachel Maddow ran into each other in the MSNBC hallways this week. Rough! Rachel is the MSNBC LGBT princess these days – they love her so much, and I think she brings in some key demos for MSNBC, better demos than “old Irish guys yelling at those g—damn c—ksucking f-gs,” amirite? I want to know what Rachel has to say about this mess.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.
He is an a**hole, but he is eschews Hollywood narcissism and is very entertaining when not acting like the aforementioned a**hole..
I agree he is entertaining – even though he can behave like an ahole – too bad about that but at least he is not pretending to be sweet like Julia Roberts seems to – I liked him in It’s Complicated.
edit but its not entertaining to be on the other end of an alcoholic rage either. I hope he can change his ways so his little one doesn’t grow up with alcoholic rages – hope he will be good example for her.
Abusers don’t need alcohol or other mind altering drugs to abuse or go on rages.
Though it makes for a great excuse. But that’s all it is, an excuse.
I too nurse a forlorn hope Alec’s little one “doesn’t grow up with alcoholic rages”. That’s sad to think about, Mitchster.
It always floors me how people will give him a pass time and time again. And will be so judgmental of other celebrities that have never said or done the things Alec has over the years. All because “he is so funny on 30 Rock” WTH is that. Alec has some problems, and that wife of his is just so fame hungry. He goes crazy over the paps. We could all name celebrities that the paps actually make loads of money off and the don’t do this. Never.
Has he never heard of IGNORE. IGNORE..
Just as they give Charlie Sheen and Kanye passes.
I’d put him in the same category as Mel Gibson. Ragey, violent, with a hair trigger. I’d like to know why the double standard………Mel as no career anymore…………and this guy gets his own talk show.
Baldwin has gotten pass after pass, Sheen, too…but Mel, who is much more talented than both (in my opinion) has been thrown out to pasture…I think all three are rageaholics, alcoholics, homophobic, misogynistic dickheads…but it is curious as to why Mel has been shunned and not the other two…any thoughts on this, Celebitches?
Could it be that small screen stars are given more of a pass than large screen stars? I don’t know so I’m 100% guessing. Also Mel isn’t American whereas Charlie and Alec are (as is Chris Brown).
Think about it, sports stars are also given a huge pass too…. So perhaps citizenship does play a role.
Other than that…dunno. *shrugs*
MrsBPitt:
My guess? It was easier to shun Mel than Sheen and Baldwin. The former wasn’t in the best career place when he really started to go off the antisemitic rails, and post-Passion of the Christ a lot of people were kind of put off by his… fervor. Sheen and Baldwin are both in a better career place than Mel was when they both acted like Grade A Douchenozzles. Sheen was making millions every week for a shitty show and putting all of his porn stars and prostitutes on social media to hilarious results. Baldwin’s done 30 Rock, ingratiating himself to tons of Tina Fey fans, and still remains popular just for being Baldwin. Mel was mostly keeping busy getting drunk and being Catholic; people didn’t have a problem shunning somebody who seemed to be on the downswing anyway.
Just my two cents.
I think it’s because Mel had a lot farther to fall. Also, personally I think Mel is a lot worse than Alec. Mel incorporated his Anti-Semitism under the umbrella of Christianity in The Passion of the Christ. He refused to repudiate the statements of his Holocaust denying father. His foul-mouthed racist rant was against a much more sympathetic target – a cop. He’s also lucky that the mother of his child was not viewed as a sympathetic victim when he beat her while she was holding their baby. In the end, there wasn’t much good left to argue for Mel. His career was probably destroyed as much by his alcoholism as by everything else. In Hollywood, everything is excused except you’re inability to earn a studio money.
I think the seemingly well-founded claims of Mel’s domestic violence and threats to bury his Russian gf in the rose garden have a lot to do with that. But when Alec was married to Kim B, he was spotted raging at her on the sidewalk more than once, so he’s not altogether clean there, either.
My guess:
Mel spouts anti semitic and racist insults, plus abuses his partners.
Alec spouts homophobic insults and verbally abuses his child.
Make what you will of it.
@LadySlippers – I didn’t think about that, & my curiosity led me to look up Mel’s Wiki page. He was born in New York, & lived there (or at least in the US) until he was 12 (before moving to Sydney Australia), so I assume he’s still considered an American citizen (having been born & partially raised here). But I do think his being (partially) *raised* in Australia instead of the US still puts him in a category (to most people, who may not even know) as ‘foreign’.
You could be onto something with your point, though. I hadn’t even considered it.
@Hakura, There has got to be SOME reason why one gets away with it but others don’t. Alec has been homophobic for years as had Mel been anti-Semetic for quite some time too. We also forgive male athletes who rape. I mean, how low is that??? So I don’t know….
Part of the reason I gave the big/small screen comparison is we feel like we ‘know’ people on the small screen differently than big screen names. Athletes and entertainment stars (even politicians) are seen on the intimate, in our house, small screen. We INVITE these people into our homes via the television. Whereas we have to go and ‘visit’ large screen stars in a venue created just for them, i.e. cinema theatres. Musicians straddle both as we see them perform both on TV and in concerts…. Something as small and ‘trivial’ as to where we see them could change how we perceive people. That subtle difference could be part of how/why some people are forgiven while others have not.
Again, just throwing ideas in the air.
BluHare, Alec has also been accused of domestic violence. I also believe by more than one partner too. 🙁
Never mind. I had to reread something.
Bluhare,
I will never defend Alec’s verbal abuse of his daughter – it was wrong. But I do think he was in part reacting to possible parental alienation attemps by Kim. Believe me, I usually take the wife’s side on these things, but I really think Kim and Christy Brinkley played victim to the press and were able to demonize their exes. Alec certainly did himself no favors. He clearly has anger and self-control issues. I also believe he probably never repeated those vile words because Kim would have been sure to release them to the press.
I do thinks it’s quite different to verbally abuse someone than it is to knock their teeth out while they’re holding a small baby, and threatening to murder them. I am no big fan of Alec’s, I never evern watched 30 Rock. His daughter seems to have forgiven him, and if he learned his lesson with her, that’s more than Chris or Mel ever did. Of course, Alec does not learn his lesson about lashing out at the media and using homophobic words. There’s no excuse for that.
I also think nationality has nothing to do with it. In this country we mindlessly fawn over an Australian or British accent. And in regard to athletes, the US does let these fools get away with murder – literally, Personally, I’m a huge baseball fan, but I quickly lose admiration of even a disrespectful player. And don’t even get me started on the dog-murdering Michael Vick! (I live in the Atlanta area)
mayamae, what Alec Baldwin and Billy Joel have in common is that they are both raging alcoholics. Chances are you have an alcoholic in your own family, so you know that while their co-dependents aren’t exactly innocents, they ARE victims of these dyed in the wool boozers!
Sloane,
Believe it or not, Bancroft doesn’t think abusers are mentally ill at all. Apparently they still test ‘normal’. But I can’t deny what you’re saying as they do share a lot of traits with sociopaths… Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be supported by psychological testing.
🙁
ETA:
Sloane, sorry commented in the wrong spot!
Maya, I think Kim was trying to keep her daughter from an abusive man. She was doing her best for her daughter and I cannot fault her for that.
Agreed totally!! Why isn’t Capital One dropping him as a spokesperson? Why is Alec treated differently than Paula Deen? He has used homophobic slurs NUMEROUS times.
I think the reason people keep forgiving isn’t so much because of his (and the other “ragey, violent guys Lori listed) talent but more so because when they apologize they seem genuine… like they too are victims of their own angry outbursts. They all need anger management and real , long-term counseling but instead they try managing it on their own with all sorts of other methods (and wives) and fail repeatedly.
The guys we *don’t* forgive for their rage filled antics and slurs never really admit to having a problem. Instead, they strut around pretending that society has it out for them. Alec publishes an apology. Chris Brown would refuse to do that and would scream from the rooftops about racism and how misunderstood he is.
“the reason people keep forgiving isn’t so much because of his (and the other “ragey, violent guys Lori listed) talent but more so because when they apologize they seem genuine… like they too are victims of their own angry outbursts.” – mytbean
No, I don’t think these guys are candidates for anger management or will be helped with long term counseling; IMO, they’re sociopaths. Sociopaths are charming and love ‘getting away with it’. They crave impunity and calculatingly create situations, or when necessary, cover stories to seem as guilt free as possible. They have a grandiose self-worth. They possess a grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and are self-assured, opinionated, cocky, and braggarts.
Alec clearly is an arrogant guy who believes he is a superior human being. In fact, Alec Baldwin has almost ALL the red flags and personality traits that identify a sociopath. Additionally, let’s not forget that Chris Brown HAS gotten away with almost murder and is completely forgiven and adulated in certain quarters. – http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-and-Help-Sociopaths
The issue with Alec’s apology is that you can hear the eyeroll when you read it. I agree with the thought of him being a sociopath.
Wasn’t it just a few mings ago he made some racial slurs against a photographer too? Dare I say, Hollywood liberals are ways deemed “they can’t possibly be racist, homophobic, etc…” But if it is a conservative in Hollywood or a personality that is not as popular we hear “of course they are homophobic/racist/etc. and their true colors are coming out”. It’s a double standard that is just accepted.
I don’t remember the details, but didn’t Paula Deen’s career disintegrate because she admitted to saying the “n” word once 20 years ago. And Dr Laura was shunned and lost her radio gig for using the term once as well. Obviously this language is not acceptable, but some in the public claim to know who uses these words with hateful intent and who uses them on accident and doesn’t really mean it.
Ugh, the ‘martyrdom’ of conservatives again. What poor, oppressed, misunderstood victims they are as a group!
Dr. Laura, in addition to her racism, is a known hypocritical female misogynist. She’s Rush Limbaugh if Rush had a vagina. No sympathy for that one.
I don’t think it’s about the political affiliation of the celebrity that determines how people react to celebrity bigotry. I think it has to do with the way the bigotry comes out, combined with previous public opinion of them.
Leila – (political labels aside) it still doesn’t explain why some personalities get a pass and others don’t. Is there a mystical crystal ball that knows what is in someone’s mind and heart while maybe (?) making an accidental slip of the tongue? Alec has made many unacceptable comments/slurs but people “know” he doesn’t mean it?
@Leila In Wunderland
From someone who is liberal, I do think that there may be something to what Inconceivable! said. Since Alec often speaks from a liberal political standpoint, and may even have a history of being supportive of gay rights and causes, it may be inconceivable for those in the left camp to digest that he may actually have some underlying phobias and disdain for certain groups of people.
If this type of thing happened only once, I would understand, but it is a routine now. Maybe part of the forgiveness is that he may be more charismatic than others mentioned above, but it isn’t all of it. He does get a pass because he gets a platform on sites like HuffPo.
(political labels aside) it still doesn’t explain why some personalities get a pass and others don’t. – Inconceivable
Inconceivable, pretty convenient to put the political labels of personalities aside given the fact they were integral to your argument! I think their political labels ARE completely relevant to who gets a pass and to others who don’t, but not in the way you think.
Conservatives in Hollywood, (and every one of them I’ve had the pleasure of knowing for that matter), are resistant to change, or the change they want is to revert back to an earlier idealized situation where they thought things worked better. Conservatives are more closed to new ideas and experiences and are more likely to reject scientific theses that don’t agree with their worldviews. Far right celebrities come across as narrow minded, bigoted, humorless, straight laced, judgmental bores.
Whereas, progressives are more open minded, like new experiences, and are far more comfortable with ambiguity and exploring the uncertainty of the truth of something. They tend to like science and often integrate new ideas into their existing set of beliefs. Liberal celebrities like Russell Brand come across as nuanced, funny, inclusive, tolerant, unconventional, exotic charmers. Face it, it’s always easier to forgive or ‘give a pass’ to a charismatic scamp!
I’m with Leila on the “Ugh, the ‘martyrdom’ of conservatives”, although I do think Baldwin is a flaming bigot that needs to permanently drop off the public’s radar and go crawl under a rock where he belongs.
@Sloane
I hope my comment wasn’t interpreted as a defense of Dean or Dr. Laura. I think Alec Baldwin’s repeated pass may be an example of cognitive dissonance.
For either side, politically, it is difficult to accept actions that directly conflict with spoken ideology. You can have a very conservative married “family values” guy who ends up making dirty hook-ups in a public bathroom.
If that person is considered heroic in the eyes of staunch supporters of a cause, it can be incredibly difficult for them to accept or suss out the dichotomy and so they dismiss that which doesn’t jibe with previous beliefs.
Nope, kiddo, I didn’t read your comment as “a defense of Dean or Dr. Laura.” I agree with your theory that “Alec Baldwin’s repeated pass may be an example of cognitive dissonance.” Yeah, I think a lot of things can be happening at the same, so multiple theories can coexist simultaneously and even support each other.
Did you catch the ridiculous story about the local Fox5 news lady being threatened for assault? Supposedly, Hilaria (sp?) told Alec that the reporter nearly knocked her teeth out with a microphone. Then Fox5 news person, Schmidt (?), runs an entire story on this with accompanying video to prove she didn’t come that close to Hilaria, but Alec hadn’t pressed charges anyway. They had video of him threatening to do so on the street, and they kept replaying it. So it was a story about a non-story, but Hilaria seems to be stirring the pot a bit, if you ask me. Or maybe Alec is just over the top with what he perceives to be offenses.
As to the story you provided above: lather, rinse, repeat. Same ol’, same ol’.
Yes! My thoughts exactly regarding Hilaria (or whatever her name is). She seems to be egging him on, like she wants him to freak out on someone. In all honestly, Alec has always creeped me out. I’ve only seen about 5 minutes of 30 rock because I can’t stand to watch him. I tried to watch it, if only for Tina Fey, but I just couldn’t. The only thing that I’ve seen him in that I actually like is Beetlejuice and that’s only because I saw it when I was a kid, way before I knew what an a-hole he is.
I very recently watched Beetlejuice (I have low level cable, please don’t judge me).
Michael Keaton was hilarious. It was a good ensemble cast. I liked 30 Rock, but I can see how someone else might avoid it for the reasons you stated.
Hilaria not only said the Fox reporter almost knocked her teeth out, she also said the reporter “attacked” her baby. The reporter did neither. Hilaria is a drama queen and Alan is a rage monster – that is a very bad combination. When these two start turning on each other, it’s going to get very ugly.
Remember that Hilaria (sp?) probably NEEDS to appear to be on Alec’s side in order to make sure she isn’t the one in the line of fire…. So that may mean she creates some stories so she and her daughter can channel his abuse elsewhere.
Just a thought.
Perhaps Hilaria is courting public opinion now by egging on her husband.
@Cora – It’s like she’s ‘training an attack dog’, & has gotten to the point where she only has to point her finger, & the dog will visciously attack wihout hesitation. She definitely enjoys the ‘manipulative power’ she feels/has when she’s provoking his temper (even if it means outright lying to do so), & siccing him on whomever she pleases.
I completely agree, she’s not going to be enjoying it when her ‘junkyard dog’ bites the hand that feeds him…Nor is *he* going to enjoy it when she turns her vicious lies, selfishness, & greed, against him. Honestly, they deserve eachother.
Hakura & BluHare,
As a domestic violence survivor myself, I’d bet she is NOT enjoying this. You’d be amazed at the crazy-a$$ed things you do to stay out of the firing range.
Sorry, I’ve been trying to educate w/o bringing my story into it. But things aren’t always what they seem. My heart truly goes out to Hilaria. I hope she figures out his mind games and runs for her life.
Thank you, LadySlippers, for your efforts to bring forward the lesser known aspects of Hilaria’s precarious situation.
I’m sorry to say I’m not surprised at what Hilaria may be capable of to stay under Alec’s high beam. This is where you sometimes see abused wives tragically turning their partner’s wrath onto innocent children – anything to avoid “the stress of their regard”.
Sloane,
Mind you, I’m not saying Hilaria IS doing any of these things. I’m just trying to help people understand that in a war zone (and domestic abusers create a war zone in their life and suck everyone into it) people trapped by an abuser can do crazy things. Those trapped people do things they wouldn’t normally do in order to stay safe.
I’m not saying to condone that behavior but hope people employ some empathy and understanding that can go along way in these situations.
@bluhare – I totally missed your (above) comment! I hadn’t even considered ‘courting public opinion’. But now that I think about it, it would *especially* make sense if she was considering/planning ending their marriage.
What better way to ‘up her chances’ of getting ‘sole custody’ of their daughter, than to help him publicly represent himself as a perpetually angry/hateful/violent *asshole*? Not that his asshole status is new to *anyone*, but now she has *more than enough* (on video, no less), to use against him in court, if it ever came to that.
@TG – Oops! xD I started writing this message up several hours ago, thinking I’d hit the ‘submit’ button, but forgot to. Great minds, eh? xD
But (obviously) I agree completely. He’s being set up, & the only person that it’s going to ‘blind-side & shock’ is Alec. Not that he doesn’t fully deserve it. =/ One of those people just can’t seem to summon any sympathy for.
It’s fairly early in their relationship. Hilaria may still buy into his song-n-dance. It may not be about setting him up. Or it could be. It honestly could go both ways.
I figured all along Hilaria is just biding her time and Alec’s public rages is only helping her future divorce/custody case. He is an idiot and can’t figure it out.
Alec is mad cuz his wife keeps setting up photo ops with the paps that he so despises.
Maybe she is setting him up too. I mean she tells this rage nut that the paps almost knocked her teeth out, for him to do what.. go and say stop bothering my wife. She knows how Alec is and doing that is lighting fire. He is a nut but I don’t trust her at all. I’m waiting for her to leave him; and use all the rage caught on camera against him.
just watch and wait.
I really don’t think that’s too far-fetched. I don’t trust Hilarious either.
Ofcourse. Because the rich handsome white male cant possibly be FULLY responsible for his OWN actions. I dont care whether Hilaria scripted the mad rant, made him memorise it and then planted him in the situation, this is ALL Alec. Every nutty moment of it.
For those happy to flip this into ‘Jezebel made him do it’ narrative, you may want to read up on this douche nozzle. This is the guy who got into a physical situation with a pap on the very day that his new born daughter with Kim Basinger came home from hospital. Same bastard who would ten yearslater call his own child “
I think you can easily think Hilaria sets him up to be a douche nozzle without blaming her over him. They might be as bad as each other.
“the rich handsome white male”….
Okay, you lost me there. Who are we talking about again? lol
I believe peoples true colors come out when they’re either drunk or angry. He is known for his temper. I think it’s disturbing how easy it is for him to drop slurs. His mouth got him into trouble, again and I believe he’s only sorry because something was taken away from him. I also think it’s tacky to use someone as a prop. Again, I’m not ok with anyone using slurs that are rude and inappropriate to another.
He has a hairdresser? Lol – not a very good one.
Diamond girl : don’t blame the hairdresser. I doubt that arrogant Alec listens to a word the poor man says. I doubt Alec has time for anyone else’s opinion on anything. Poor hairdresser!
@Meredith – *I* sure as hell don’t envy the guy…. Who’d want to *touch* that? xP I hope he’s getting paid *especially* well…
I think maybe he should take his own advice and leave the business. There are a lot of wonderful celebrities that are not stalked by paparazzi, I think a lot of these celebs have caused their own problems with the apps. They used them on the way up and now resent the attention and honestly the only reason they go for Alex is he has shown he will be ass and they will be guaranteed a good check. Again I think this might not be the right career for him but I think he’ll be sad when nobody pays anymore attention to him and/ or his wife leaves him!
It is NOT normal to go on rants like he does. Same applies to Charlie Sheen and Chris Brown. And there are other men we see that have equally troubling behavior but I can’t remember. People should see the clues and steer clear.
This man is trouble and has been for years. Everyone (especially in the mental health field) should read this book by Lundy Bancroft, ‘Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.’
You’ll see Alec and other angry men in a completely new light. It may even help you explain and deal with the angry & controlling men you know in your personal life.
@LadySlippers – It sounds like a good read. While I wouldn’t call my Dad ‘controlling’, he’s always had a temper problem that seems to stem from frustration (which given some of our personal circumstances, I could definitely understand), but he takes it way too far, to the point where it can become hateful (even when he’s not like that at all outside of anger). My brother & I used to get so angry with him for the things he’d say to our mom. He *never* raised a hand to her, but being hateful emotionally can hurt just as badly. He’s mellowed out a lot with age (though he can still be an asshole).
Unfortunately, now my little brother (who’s 21) has the same temper problem. Had a fight with his girlfriend on the phone one night, & I heard a loud crashing sound, only to go out to find he’d broken his bedroom door off the hinges (completely). He always *hated* Dad;s temper, & definitely needs help to get it under control, but I’m not sure he will (since he doesn’t want to admit that he’s like our dad in that respect).
I have a temper myself, of course, & can sometimes jump to the wrong conclusion about things too quickly. But it’s definitely nothing like what they exhibit, & it’s frustrating, because it’s sort of like dealing with a addict, in that you can’t *make* them get help for it. =/
It actually is like dealing with an addict. You’ll notice I often say abuser as the behavior patterns are similar.
I cannot recommend the book enough. It may (or may not) have you take a 2nd look at your family history. Regardless, of the outcome, it’ll make you a wiser person.
Most important for me? I can now spot abusive signs and patterns much earlier than before. That aspect is still a work in progress but it’s better than it was a few years ago.
How long can he keep doing the same song and dance until people finally show him the door? People have persecuted Chris Brown for the Rihanna incident since it happened but Alec Baldwin? He gets a pass every single time when he should be dropped from every single network and partnership he’s part of! Dude is a ticking time bomb.
Poor Chris Brown. Being persecuted for nearly beating a woman to death must be so sad for him. I can’t stand AB, and abhor what he said, but he has not, to my knowledge, ever beaten his wife or girlfriend, which is, in my opinion, one of the more cowardly and despicable acts on earth.
GoodNames,
Abuse is abuse. Doesn’t matter what form it takes and none should be excused.
I don’t excuse any form of abuse, and I’m not sure what I said that made you think I do. I was taking exception to tifzlan’s use of the word “persecuted” in relation to the public’s backlash against Chris Brown. I was pointing out that the comparison between yelling offensive remarks at a stranger who is trying to take your picture and nearly killing someone you claim to love isn’t fair or accurate. If AB beat Hilaria to a pulp, I think the public would be just as outraged. Chris Brown isn’t the victim here. Neither is Alec B, and he’s totally in the wrong, and I don’t know why he gets chance after chance, but the behavior of the two men is not comparable, and that’s why the reactions to their behavior is different. Sorry if I wasn’t clear.
I don’t condone what Chris Brown did, and i think he is one of the most selfish, entitled celebrities in Hollywood. But don’t tell me that there isn’t a discrepancy between how the public treats Chris and Alec. Alec has been known for his insane rages for years and years now and people seem to turn a blind eye toward his temper. I’m glad that people shun Chris Brown, but i wish they would Alec too. I’m happy that MSNBC suspended his show. His ego is out of control and it’s part of the reason why he thinks he can continually get away with hurling insults to people and acting violent towards them.
But GoodNames, the behavior IS actually related even if the outcomes appear different. Abuse stems from a deep sense of entitlement (Bancroft describes it as ownership, entitlement, and control as the foundation of any abusive behavior) that both men are expressing.
Chris didn’t just beat Rihanna, there was mental abuse there too and that’s far more damaging than physical abuse. Alec may or may not hit in private but the mental abuse he dishes out is just more open (his phone call to his daughter is beyond a doubt abusive).
My point (and I also apologize if this wasn’t clear) is often people downplay mental/emotional abuse versus physical abuse and studies show that’s not true at all. It’s the mental/emotional abuse that takes years to recover from. That’s why I said abuse is abuse. Both Alec and Chris are guilty. As is Sean Penn, Mel, and Charlie (and any other star that engages in this type of behavior). These type of men should be shown that all abuse to other humans is NOT tolerated. Period/Full Stop.
Honestly, this is why I strongly recommend Bancroft’s book. He can show you all the underlying traits that appear so different from the outside, and yet, sadly are based on some very faulty beliefs that are remarkedly similar.
BTW, kudos to you for explaining yourself and apologizing. I’m THRILLED we can have an adult discussion. And again, I apologize if I came across as accusatory as that is not my intent either.
Adding:
I took the ‘persecuted’ comment as very sarcastic. Not sure if it was meant that way but it’s how I read it. Making it sarcastic drastically changes the tone. Otherwise, I would have responded much like GoodNames did.
So physical abuse > emotional abuse.
Rights worked hard by a community are dismissed because they aren’t women that aren’t hit in the face. Baldwin can just piss all over it. Are you aware of the amount of homosexuals that haven’t come out due to the prejudice that goes on that Baldwin blatantly showcases? You seem dismissive of Baldwin’s words that are insulting to a community as a whole while still going after Brown and holding Brown’s offense higher than Baldwin when in reality they are one in the same. It may have not been the same actions but they are hateful things directed towards an individual and or group of people.
To LadySlipper, thank you. I think we’re on the same side here. I understand the connection between emotional and physical abuse, and neither should be condoned. Perhaps I just had a knee-jerk reaction to the word “persecuted,” which I did not and still do not believe was intended as sarcasm. There are a lot of people on this site who defend Chris Brown and say his behavior was a mistake that should be forgotten and I believe his behavior is ongoing and he is still a physical danger to other people.
My first husband was mentally and physically abusive, and although the emotional abuse was crippling, it didn’t put my life in jeopardy. Rising above both was the best thing that ever happened to me. But if I had to choose, I’d take being screamed at over being pushed down the stairs or slammed into a wall. I get that they’re connected, and they are both destructive, but Chris Brown committed a crime, for which he got community service, I believe. AB, as repulsive and abhorrent as he is, did not. Our legal system does not protect women from physical abuse. It is viewed differently than stranger to stranger violence, and although strides have been made, this is a perfect example of a slap on the wrist for nearly killing someone. A woman is beaten by a man she knows every 15 seconds in this country.
To Tifzlan, I’m sorry I thought you were defending CB. I agree that AB should be shunned by one and all. I did not realize he had done anything physically violent towards anyone, so that is why I thought that the public’s reaction toward him was different. I would say more, but I am having so much trouble with the site freezing up, it has taken me almost thirty minutes to type this. Sorry if I misunderstood you.
To DommyDearest, I am so very sorry that you took my comments that way, and can see how you would. I care very much about gay rights, and support marriage equality and think what he said was horrible and offensive. I think he should be fired and boycotted by all, as I said above. I know those words were so hateful, but would you rather someone yell at you or physically attack you? Maybe you see them as the same as other people seem to. I didnt mean to be dismissive about what he said. I just reacted to what I thought was a defense of Chris Brown, which I apparently misunderstood and now have offended everyone within a thousand mile radius. I am truly sorry for hurting your feelings if I did.
I see what you’re saying and thank you for clarifying 🙂
No hurt feelings it’s just from the history of comments that concern Baldwin a lot of people just dismiss it due to it being how he is or what have you. Which to me is not an excuse ever.
LadySlippers: Yes, i used ‘persecuted’ sarcastically. I know it’s hard to convey tone across the internet message board, but in no way was i defending Chris Brown and his abuse of Rihanna. He deserves every bit of vitriol that goes his way, but so does Alec and i don’t think the public (or Hollywood bigwigs) are sending the same message to Alec that they/we’ve sent to Chris Brown.
Again, Alec Baldwin has been known for his temper for years now and i definitely don’t think it’s normal to have such violent rages all the time. His phone call to Ireland still shocks me every time i think about it. His ego feeds off the constant passes people give him for his behavior and it’s why he continues his abuse. I hope GLAAD won’t tolerate him this time around and i hope they’ll slam the door in his face when he comes asking to make a public apology. Just because your hairstylist is gay, doesn’t mean you can’t be a homophobic asshat.
Tifzlan, I apologize. I mistook your meaning.
GoodNamesAllTaken: No worries, i’m glad we can all be mature about the situation. Never would i EVER defend Chris Brown. Not in this life, not in the next life, not in a million years. As for Alec, i think he’s been given the pass for far too long now. I hope the suspension of his show is the beginning of the end for him because i’m just tired of reading about his temper all the damn time. Also, i seem to recall him hitting a paparazzo or something similar? He was about to be charged for assault but the paparazzo dropped the charges. I could be remembering the situation wrongly though, so don’t quote me on that!
The constant P. C. apologies are meaningless. Same as Rob Ford.
Then in the next breath they lash out again with a sarcastic comment which proves they just don’t get it. With RF this is literally the case. It’s sadly humorous.
He needs to get a hold of himself already. Anger management maybe? Between his mouth and the mayor of Toronto’s incredible statement in front of the press about eating p***y, you wonder if people lose the ability to think before they speak when they have cameras in front of them.
Alec will get yet another pass, just like the rest do. He’s probably receiving scripts as we comment.
Most people commonly assume anger is the issue — it’s not. It’s how he thinks. 🙁 And that’s a tougher aspect to change.
I’m starting to think he’s doing this on purpose. How many times in one year can a person make the same mistake and learn nothing from it? Didn’t we just do this? People don’t repeat behavior over and over unless they are getting some kind of reward from it. So I wonder what he’s getting? Attention, reputation as a “bad boy?”
Alec has rage problems, and just cannot stop himself…until he gets some anger management, then this is going to keep happening…stay tuned for the next incident!
As I said up thread, anger is not really the issue. It just *looks* like it from the outside.
Lundy Bancroft works with men like this (it’s his full-time job) and really shows people their twisted logic in his blog & books. Alec and others don’t learn from their ‘mistakes’ as they see nothing wrong with their thinking and behavior. Unfortunately, anger management doesn’t address the core issues, just the window dressing.
Lady slippers, I’m glad you brought up that book. It helped me get over the abusive relationship I was in with my ex. The author does a great job of exposing these men for what they are. It was quite illuminating for me.
@LadySlippers –Agree! I think it has to do with a huge and stubborn sense of entitlement. People who don’t conform to his sense of entitlement then become the targets of his anger because he feels he is being “victimized.”
EDIT: I don’t mean AB in particular, as I don’t know him at all. I’m talking more generally about the dynamic of chronically angry and abusive people.
SC, you nailed it. Right down to the victim aspect! It (ownership, entitlement, control) are very stubborn traits that are not easily overcome.
Bancroft estimates this is the hardest form of abusive behavior (in comparison to alcohol, drugs, or gambling for example) to overcome as there is almost no downsides for the abuser and tremendous advantages of continuing the behavior. Note: This is from the abuser’s point of view NOT ours.
Anon33,
You and me both. It was a God send and I’ve given away several (over a half dozen but not quite a dozen) copies of the book. To me, it helped explain the mind games and smoke & mirrors that are part-n-parcel in an abusive relationship. I could stop chasing my tail and get out of the marriage and create a healthier home environment for my children. My ex still plays with us all but it’s comforting to see him for what he is. Ya know?
I cannot recommend the book enough.
I’ll have to read this book. Thank you.
GoodNames,
The book is FABULOUS. I mean that. Bancroft demonstrates that abusive men have many tools in their play book of terror. Anger is only one if them. He also states that most people don’t realize that physical abuse spans more than ‘just’ hitting a woman. It actually encompasses quite a lot of behavior: destroying items, punching holes in walls, abusing/hitting/kicking animals, etc.. In fact, even domineering over someone is considered physical abuse because it’s showing a person how easy it is to cross that line. Basically almost anything to show his victim she should be grateful she is spared his fists — it part if his illusion and mind games.
So it is more likely that we just don’t know how far he’s willing to go with his partners but that isn’t to say it’s not physically abusive.
I hope Alec (and ALL the rest) get their walking papers. We need to praise GOOD men and let the sh*t rot by the wayside.
Hopefully, many more will check out the book too.
Overall, great discussion.
Uuuggghhhhh enough with this a$$hole…..
Chris Brown did not beat Rihanna to death. Baldwin is a jerk and will never be hounded like Chris
The fact that you didn’t want to cover this is kind of insulting. The site sits here and covers Gaga, Cyrus, Bieber, and the rest of the unintelligent that is Hollywood however when an actual event that is news has happens such as homophobic slurs which targets the gay community it rarely gets covered. Or let me rephrase that: When it’s Alec Baldwin he still gets a pass. And that’s exactly what’s going on in the above article. It shouldn’t matter that he’s a sh*t storm. Cyrus, Kardashian, etc get torn to shreds by the writers of the site as well as the comments (I’m one as well) for doing things that compared to Baldwin aren’t offensive in the slightest. So because this is expected of Alec it’s just something to push under the rug and slap him on the wrist and then every thing is okay? Even back when he called the journalist a ‘Queen’ this site hardly tore into him but when Kardashian got engaged there was snide remarks galore. I’m not sure if this sexism at it’s finest due, Alec just being given passes because it’s what he does (Does Brown get a pass when he punches another female because it’s what he does?), or what but this is pretty insulting to the community he continues to insult and it’s being treated as ‘meh -shoulder shrug-‘.
Or am I just reading things differently?
WORD.
Homophobia is treated as meh by a lot of the commenters here I agree. This is white male privilege. Eminem anyone? Please.
I hope I’ve made it clear that abuse is abuse and I don’t care whether the target is one person or a whole group. It’s horrible thing to do to another person or persons.
We should all stop giving Alec, Charlie, Mel, Sean, and Chris a free pass. It shouldn’t matter how talented the men are or what industry they are in (entertainment, sports, public service, etc). Abuse of ALL kinds (mental/emotional, sexual, physical, financial etc) should NEVER EVER be tolerated.
Notice that Sean Penn gets an even freer pass than all of them listed. Like WOW. AND we haven’t brought up the multiple free passes athletes get…. There’s an equally big WOW.
PS — In addition, we need to be more empathetic to the women and/or victims in their lives. We often blame victims which is equally tragic. Abusers should be held accountable and victims should be forgiven and supported.
Hilaria is not in an enviable position. At all. Shading her is part of the free pass an abuser enjoys and expects.
Not really your main focus in all your comment even this one is spousal abuse. Whether you meant to or not for me you seemed to have treated Alec Homophobia slurs as an after thought, maybe because of your own past your focus is put on the spousal abuse aspect of it.
@Dommy Dearest
I think the reason Homophobia is treated as not as important is because so many people still don’t agree with homosexuality. So the people like Alec who uses Homophobia slurs get a pass or a slap on the wrist.
Candy,
Sorry if I didn’t explain myself well but none of what is done is acceptable. I’m Jewish and didn’t delve into Mel Gibson’s anti-Semitism either. Let me explain why.
Insults of any nature are just another tool in an abusers box of tricks to control and manipulate others. I didn’t focus on it because it’s just another weapon. As is anger, manipulation, lies, rages, beatings, rape, ‘contrition’, ‘apologies’ or any if the myriad of other behaviors used by abusers. There are honestly a ton we’ve never broached in this discussion but it doesn’t make any one of them less horrible to be used by an abuser.
Plus, I have often said “abusers” rather than “domestic abusers” because it’s fairly easy to demonstrate that Alec, Mel, Sean, Chris, and Charlie (and others) have abused more than just their partners — they often abuse any and everyone that crosses them. Insults and slurs of all kinds are used quite liberally by all angry and controlling men. It’s part of the pattern and stems from their huge sense of entitlement. Again, none are acceptable for any reason.
Hope that clears things up.
Agree. I can’t believe his court case wasn’t covered here. I think all his frustration stems from how bad it made him look as he knows her version of events is closer to the truth. That woman might have mental issues but I believe her over him.
The fact that he won is not just white man privilege it is also “celebrity privilege”.
What an a$$. He seems like an awful human being.
Y’know what’s odd? I am also very pro-gay, probably more than anyone I know. But I also use the F-word as a joke term of endearment with friends and sometimes as a slur, maybe because I know it will bother the person I apply it to because they aren’t gay and would resent being called one. Language is a weird thing that often doesn’t conform to political actions and beliefs and maybe people should stop expecting it to.
You call them a fag knowing they will resent it.
That’s not odd it’s stupid.
You should check yourself.
Pro gay? That’s not pro gay. Get educated or maybe you should just smarten up.
yeah, cause we all know the words you use are more important than actions you take fighting for gay marriage and supporting gay pride.
He was chasing after a guy he was obviously angry with. Terms of endearment do not apply, even if I accepted your preface. The context of the interaction is key. He was trying to insult a person, he used the word(s) pejoratively. If there isn’t anything wrong with being gay, why would you assume that it would insult someone else, if you, yourself, have no issues with it?
1. I adore Rachel Maddow so, so, so much.
2. I don’t think Baldwin is a homophobe (he’s not scared of gays nor is he hateful toward them). He’s always been pretty outspokenly liberal and very supportive of gays. So, I think his issue is carelessness with language and dumbassery…not bigotry. He certainly does look rather pathetic right now, though. The man really doesn’t ever know when to shut his mouth.
Also, is it just me or is it time to come up with a new word for homophobia? Not new… but homophobia means to be afraid of homosexuals. What we mean when we say homophobia is usually more about being hateful and/or exclusionary. Homohatefulness? I dunno, but I am sick as hell of the word “homophobia.” I don’t know a single person who is actually afraid of gays. It’s not about fear. It’s about hate, suppression, possibly cruelty and abuse, etc..
Speaking of more actors with “foot in mouth disease” does anyone have any comments on Slyvestor Stallone using the n word against a pap?
This man is a MESS Charlie Sheen style. He should just stop talking anywhere that people might actually hear him. Over this man. Next!
Everybody is so anxious to give Baldwin a free pass that they are now foot in mouth saying Chris gets one too. People are even ready to use Hilarious as a rag to wipe away the dirt. White privilege in action as regard Eminem who called Kanye a f@g and people like Sheen and Baldwin.
Everyone is so sensitive when it comes to anything deemed derogatory towards the gay community. As a gay man, I of course understand that, but I’m troubled that, on the other hand, we all seem so accepting of “bitch” and even “cunt.” It’s all about context.
How is it possible that everyone else besides him seems to realize that it’s Alec Baldwin’s wife who is constantly calling the paps?
“It’s coming from inside the house!”
He is such a loose cannon-he needs some serious therapy for his anger; almost all his appalling behavior seems to come from an endless supply of it inside of him. Curious-other than a nasty divorce, where did it all come from?
Therapy rarely does a damn thing for these men as they see nothing wrong with their behavior. In fact, they have the lowest recovery rate for ALL abusers (including substance, alcohol, gambling, etc).
He is an asshole. A violent, abusive, drunk, horrible human being. His career should be in the exact same place as Mel Gibson’s right now. I have no tolerance whatsoever for this man, and I’m extremely pissed that his assholery has ruined Beetlejuice for me.
I don’t know why people pussyfoot around this. Even sillier are the attempts to deny it. Fact: Alec Baldwin gets away with it because he’s a vocal liberal. Period. Is it a double standard? of course. Is it unfair? That’s irrelevent. It is what it is. If Baldwin was an admitted conservative, he would not have been suspended for two shows. His career would be over and he’d be lucky to get a walk-on part in Kirk Cameron’s next YouTube movie. Baldwin’s apology is bullshit. H’s not sorry because he doesn’t think he did anything wrong. It was just an obligatory “PR” staement. Meh. Do I think Baldwin is a homophobe? Probably not. But dude has some SERIOUS anger issues and it is quite curious that his go-to insults when he’s getting his rage on are quite often homophobic. Which makes one wonder how genuine all his gay rights support is. I mean, does it do it out of principaled belief? Or is it a selfish act designed to bolster his lib cred? I’m a conservative, but the double standards stopped bothering me ages ago. I believe in the free market and if people are cool with his behavior and want to keep stuffing their hard-earned money in the Rage Monster’s pockets, more power to you. I think he’s a good actor, great sense of comedy, but seriously….the guy is a douchebag of tectonic proportions.