Michael Lohan wants to save Lindsay


Michael Lohan is my favorite celebrity dad. Why? Because he’s the craziest. I challenge you to find another father of someone famous who is as completely batshit insane as Lindsay Lohan’s dad. I mean we can poke all sorts of fun at Joe Simpson, but Joe’s never spent time in prison for DUIs and beating up his brother-in-law. And while his relationship with his daughters is sometimes creepy, it’s still not as terrible as what Michael Lohan’s got going on with all four of his children.

Michael’s main problem is that he loves the spotlight more than he loves his children. But since he’s got no talent of his own (aside from the aforementioned punching of family members), the only thing he’s got left is to ride their coattails. Unfortunately for all the Lohan kids, their mom Dina is the same way, so none of them really have a shot in hell of any type of normalcy or stability.

Michael has decided to capitalize on Lindsay’s recent extreme weight loss by trying to “save” her, according to his website “The Real Story with Mike Lohan.” As far as I can tell, Michael is obsessed with Lindsay, and it’s starting to get really disturbing. He’s also obsessed with girlfriend Samantha Ronson (he insists on labeling her SaMANtha, in an attempt at making fun of her boyish physique and attire), who he essentially thinks is evil. Here’s his latest post on saving Lindsay.

Like I said in the past, “if I see or hear of anyone or anything causing harm or is seen as a threat to my children,” I will speak about it, and do anything I can to try to intervene regardless of the repercussions on me.

With that said, after seeing promise and thanking God for Lindsay’s freedom from SaMANtha’s bondage, I see now, that since SaMANtha has once again, weaseled her way back into Lindsay”s life, things have taken a dark turn.

While I was enthused that Ali was with Lindsay, rather than SaMANtha, I am torn to see that SaMANtha has once again manipulated Lindsay into leaving her little sister in LA, only to join SaMANtha on another DJ gig in Boston.

Was this again, a means for SaMANtha to earn more money through Lindsay”s presence? Did SaMANtha’s fee drop so much and so quickly when word got out that they parted ways? Are we so blind? Is Lindsay so blind? I know Dina and my kids aren’t because they tell me so. But then again, why does Dina tell me one thing and do another?!

When a mother or father sees their child in turmoil (losing weight, not working, and purportedly cutting herself) are we supposed to stand by , remain silent and pretend it isn’t happening? Or are we suppose to step to the plate and not care what people think, and do something about it?

Well, as you can see, I’m not going to sit back and let it slide.

I am asking everyone out their to intervene in every way possible to help Lindsay, and quite possibly, save her life. Help this wonderful, good hearted and gifted young lady to see what SaMANtha is doing to her and how she is destroying her life.

Help her to see that ever since SaMANtha came into her life, nothing good has come of it. As a matter of fact, Lindsay hasn’t used her gifts like she did before meeting SaMANtha.

Just LOOK! The proof is there! These aren’t just words, but FACTS! PLEASE HELP!

[From The Real Story with Mike Lohan]

The best part about his rant is that when you open the page, The Fray’s “How to Save a Life,” comes on full blast. Thanks for the deep musical accompaniment Michael. Let’s give Michael Lohan the benefit of the doubt for a moment. I know, it’s incredibly hard, but bear with me. Here’s the thing: if he really does care about Lindsay, what he needs to do is be a consistent, supportive presence in her life. He needs to NOT have a blog, and not talk to the press. He needs to be the opposite of who he is now. And be the opposite of Dina Lohan as well.

Then Lindsay might not feel so broken by the stress of one relationship that she can’t handle it anymore and resorts to destructive behaviors. If she had other solid people in her life to lean on, she might be able to get through things better, or at least seek help. As it stands now, all Michael’s doing is further alienating his daughter. While looking like an even bigger douche bag.

Here’s Michael Lohan in September. Images thanks to Fame.


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14 Responses to “Michael Lohan wants to save Lindsay”

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  1. vdantev says:

    His losing the power of speech would do wonders for her.

  2. Tia says:

    HE IS THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO BE SAVED. He has to be the poorest excuse for not only a ‘father’ but as a human being. Michael Lohan, STFU !!!!!!!! disgusting and pathetic soul.. SHAMEFUL

  3. Sauronsarmy says:

    I thought that saMANtha thing was from Perez hilton? I think no matter who comes into lindsay’s life she’ll always look like crap. Its just the way she is.

  4. tooey says:

    What an F-tard. I see Lindsay’s grasp of the English language comes directly from dad. It’s “out THERE”, dumbass, not “out THEIR”. No wonder he can’t get a real job…

  5. Mairead says:

    No, what this gobsh*te wants is a slap in the puss.

  6. Mairead says:

    And has he been stealing office supplies from the UN?

  7. Kate says:

    Is this guy for real?Realy?Is he for real?And people ask Why is Lindsay stressed?Having this guy as a father?He knows nothing about her,he gets his infos from gossip blogs.Posting such a blog is not accidental.

    Supposedly today its Lindsays and Samanthas 1 year anniversary together.Ans he blogs this kind of stuff?What kind of father is he?He is disgusting.He is desperate for money.Desperate.

  8. JMC says:

    What a complete failure of a father…sorry I mean, sperm donor. He doesn’t even deserve to be called a father!

  9. Syko says:

    Poor orphaned Lohan kids. None of them ever had a chance, did they?

    The acorn doesn’t fall far from the oak, though.

  10. meow mix says:

    He is really starting to sound nuts. Not ‘asshole nuts’ but might pull an ‘OJ Simpson nuts’.

    I hope Samantha & Lindsey have plenty of hired security because he sounds delusional and obsessive.

  11. Cassandra says:

    This is by far the sanest response to Michael Lohan’s invidious rants that I’ve seen in any media outlet. I’d just add that his use of religion to mask both his homophobia and his false concern for his daughter are particularly offensive. From all credible reports (and I stress credible), Lindsay is in the most supportive relationship of her young life. It’s time for her father – as well as distortive tabloid reporters – to respect her choices and leave her the heck alone.

  12. Zen says:

    I fully agree with Cassandra (2:07 am). In addition, I think that this site presents the most articulate views of celeb news. The writers should be applauded!

  13. Chiara says:

    Completely inappropriate behavior by ML. His daughter’s privacy needs to be respected. This is the price someone like ML pays for hanging around the ego driven steppers, his behavior matches their’s.

  14. Blondie says:

    So sad that Michael Lohan actually believes this public ranting is going to help his daughter…he is completely delusional.

    Does he know how to be a father?! Obviously not. I would be devastated if my father behaved like this. He is completely screwed up and I would say needs a good dose of counseling to regain his perspective and understand the role a father should play in their daughters life.

    With parents like hers, all things considered linday is doing bl**dy well!