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Justin Bieber and his sketchy manager, Scooter Braun, cover this week’s issue of Hollywood Reporter, and it’s clear that this interview took place because the Bieber camp is in crisis mode. Falling ticket prices, a lack of sold-out concerts, and far too many scandals to count will do that to a pop star. The photoshoot is hilarious and features Scooter running after Justin like, “I’m gonna catch that little bugger!” Oh and Justin is pretending to pray. Ridiculous.

The delusions of grandeur are huge. These two think they’ll be on top of the world forever. Biebs and Scooter are trying to set some records straight, but it’s not working in this interview. They address the Anne Frank “Belieber” scandal but ignore poor Mally the monkey. Oh and Bieber is no longer “a swaggy adult.” Only a regular adult I guess:

Bieber says “swag” is so last year “I’m very influenced by black culture, but I don’t think of it as black or white. It’s not me trying to act or pose in a certain way. It’s a lifestyle — like a suaveness or a swag, per se. But I don’t really like to say the word [‘swag’] anymore. It’s kind of played out.”

Bieber on media reports: “I don’t give a f—.” Elaborates Bieber: “Not ‘I don’t give a f—‘ to just be reckless and do whatever, but ‘I don’t give a f— what they say.’ … I know who I am and what I’m doing in my life and what I’ve accomplished and continue to accomplish as a performer, as a writer, as an artist, as a person, as a human being. I’m happy with the man I’m becoming.”

Braun on his favorite (only?) client: “He’s the only person in humanity who’s grown up the way he has — with smartphones and cameras on him 24/7. Another kid can go out and have a good night on the town, and no one gives a crap, but Justin is the most Googled person on the planet — for four years straight!”

Braun on the Anne Frank debacle: “At the end [of the museum tour], he felt very connected to [Anne]. They had just showed him the pictures of movie stars in her room, and they said: ‘Maybe you would have been on that wall, Justin. She might have been a fan of yours.’ And he was touched by that.”

Braun on the media: “The rumors were coming so fast and furious that we couldn’t address all of them. Say whatever the f— you want. Justin’s not going to go crazy. He’s not going to end up in rehab. He’s not going to end up a statistic. Nine months ago, they said he lost his mind — he hasn’t missed a show since. So we’re just going to shut up.”

Bieber is the new MJ: “Michael Jackson didn’t do Off the Wall until he was about 23,” Bieber says of the King of Pop’s breakout 1979 solo album. “Bad, not until he was, like, 25 [Jackson was 29]. I have all the time in the world,” he declares of his future seminal third album. Braun completes the thought: “Justin’s Thriller is yet to come.”

Bieber on his message: “What I represent is positivity and brightness and lightness and amazingness. Nothing negative at all.”

[From Hollywood Reporter]

One strange and unexpected detail in this interview? Will Smith is Bieb’s current mentor. They have “a weekly call to go over any potential issues, emotional or otherwise. The article explicitly points out, “Scientology has never been discussed. LOL.

From this article, I gather that Bieber hasn’t learned anything from his mistakes and never will. Scooter is content to stick his head in the sand as long as the money is rolling in. I hope they’re both saving their millions, but you know they’re not.

Photos courtesy of Hollywood Reporter