Proving once and for all that resenting Scientology works way better than Botox as contraception – Nicole Kidman is up the duff. We go live to our sources in her home turf of Oz for the details. Well not so much live as into the little Celebitchy gray quote box … but it achieves the same results:
Nicole Kidman has at last received the news she’s been so desperately waiting for — she’s pregnant!
After months of fertility treatment, sources say the actress has told family and friends that she and husband Keith Urban are finally expecting their first child together.
Having given up both Tom Cruise and his pushy Scientology ways … not just for Lent, but for good …and not just for good, but for bad boy with worse hair Keith Urban – Kidman now finds her self in the midst of a much wished for Urban Development Program. Good news for this UDP is that the toxins present in botulism don’t act as a blocking agent for peri-menopausal fertility.
“Nicole and Keith are having a baby,” reveals an overjoyed friend. “They’ve been riding on clouds since they got the news. Nicole’s been hoping for this since the day they got married. Everyone knows how she’s been aching to have a baby. It’s all she’s been talking about for ages.”
Having switched from not quite Scientology during the Cruise decade to the religious application of Botox ever since – Nicole has become an oddly glassy, if baby talkative, version of her earlier porcelain self. I thought she had been talking about getting Keith out of rehab ever since they got married … but maybe I missed the midwifery memo. It may be that Keith Urban didn’t take her pre-wedding threats about sorting himself out due to a lack of emotive expression when she laid down the law. Now he’s sober … and she’s preggers. He can adjust his oddly colored bird shit highlights in her car mirror forehead on the way to Lamaze classes. A very Modern Love Story.
pics via Superior Pics and original art by UrbanDK.
Does anyone else wonder why Nicole and Tom adopted first before having any biological children and now with other partners they are having biological kiddos??? Which one of them can’t really have their own children? I bet Tom!!
Im not sure I believe this story, I’ll just wait and see.
I don’t know why she even feels as though she NEEDS Botox..she’s not old! Anyway, if she is pregnant, good for her!
god. i can barely understand anything urban dk types. stop trying to be ted from eonline. its annoying.
years ago i remember hearing a report that tom cruise was sterile which was why he and nicole decided to adopt.
but…here’s my question for nicole: it seems that you are never with the two children you have currently — why add a third one?? sure, tom is probably uber-controlling but she is STILL the mother of their two adopted children!
Yeah I remember reading that Tommy has a genetic condition which fully explains his small stature, his dyslexia and that weird tooth thing, where he only actually had ONE front tooth instead of two – remember a few years back he had braces and all kinds of work done? Previous pics show the tooth thing clearly. See this link for a good pic http://foreigndispatches.typepad.com/dispatches/2005/10/whats_wrong_wit.html This condition, which in its extreme form causes a cyclops-like appearance, pushing everything into one in the centre of the head (I’m not kidding about this – google it, it’s called holoprosencephaly,) also causes sterility, and explains why his father was mildly intellectually disabled.
So, to cut a long story short, Tom is the sterile one. Try googling with key words Tom Cruise, holoprosencephaly – inneresting…
I don’t understand why people post their my spaces pages if they are set to private! What’s the point?
I agree with wondering…why is she never with her children? She was always with them before. Maybe she and Tom struck some kind of deal. Another blogger says Keith is not really interested in them. And funny about Tom’s 1 big front tooth, which lines up perfectly under his nose. I could never figure out what was strange about his teeth til now!
and jess you’re right about Urban DKs style…’if baby talkative’ WTF? midwifery memo????
Best.
Headline.
Ever!
Oh please, that controlling midget probably refused to let Botox Queen near their adoptive children. Perhaps it was in the divorce clause, so you can’t blame her for not being with them.
we post our myspace page because if we dont post a url adress we are not allowd to make a comment
Jess and Van … get a GED
You don’t need to post a URL
let me see if it works with out a url adress
i cant take my page off
I have a myspace. I have an MSN space. I have my own personal blog space. I don’t post it here, nor do I need to. Geez, how old are you Farrah? (And really, not just what your myspace says? Which I highly doubt.)