Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin announce their separation. Oh. My. Gawd!!!


Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are OVER. OMG. I can’t… I don’t… OMG. I mean, I guess we’ve known that there were problems. If this was, say, 2011-12, I would have been expecting it a bit more. They went through a rough patch and it seemed like they were barely even spending time together. But then there was some kind of reconciliation and they’ve seemed much, much stronger over the past year. But there were cracks in the goopy façade. Maybe it started with all of the controversy around the Vanity Fair “tell-all” that never happened. Maybe it was that rumor that Goop was banging Kevin Yorn. Maybe it was an inability to keep up with all of their real estate (seriously, they have a lot of real estate). Anyway, here’s the separation announcement, courtesy of Goop (which has crashed, by the way):

It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.


Gwyneth & Chris

[From Goop via Gawker]

All together now: HOW GAUCHE. Separations are for peasants!! I can’t believe that Dame Gwyneth couldn’t find SOME way to make it work. It makes me wonder about some kind of conspiracy… do you think that one of them simply couldn’t keep up the marriage façade any longer? Was it Chris who had enough… or was it Gwyneth? If it’s Gwyneth, I actually kind of wonder if she doesn’t have a jump-off lined up already.

Anyway, I know I’m being glib about this. I’m actually a little sad for Goop and Chris. I’m off to shed a few organic tears.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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371 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin announce their separation. Oh. My. Gawd!!!”

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  1. Rhea says:

    Guess you can’t fix what’s already broken—not even by giving a BJ whenever you’re fighting with your partner like what she said before. Sorry for the image, somehow her previous words popped on my mind. 🙂
    Kinda feel bad for their kids, though. A separation would always be hard on the kids.

    • Evelyn says:

      I’d imagine that’d just lead to him picking fights for the BJ though

      • rlh says:

        @Evelyn: LOLOLOLOL!!!! So brilliant. Many, many, many men would do just that. Thanks for the reality!

      • LakeMom says:

        Evelyn, I just spewed iced tea all over my keyboard. LOL!

      • hmmm says:


        Children are NEVER going to handle it “fine” no matter how common divorce is. I can only shake my head at this statement. Seriously??????

        PS This comment ended up elsewhere for some reason….

      • Illyra says:

        LOL!!! So true.

      • bettyrose says:

        Okay Hmmm you win. The kids won’t be fine. I’m sorry I suggested such a thing.

      • Emily C. says:

        I handled my parents’ divorce fine. I was thrilled about it, in fact. It was their marriage that I couldn’t handle. I wish they’d divorced a lot earlier, rather than staying together “for me”. This is a common reaction. It is not pleasant to be a child living with parents who are miserable.

    • ol cranky says:

      normally I’d feel bad for the kids but (and I know this sounds horrible) maybe they’ll have more chance at some degree of normalcy in their lives if they don’t have to live under Goopy’s dietary weirdness all the time

      • bettyrose says:

        Divorce is so common now that I think kids can handle it fine as long as the parents dont make it ugly and both stay involved as parents.

      • janie says:

        My money is on Chris… I think whatever Vanity Fair had on her was a deal breaker. I think she had to confess out of fear and between the two they were able to keep it out of the news.

      • Liv says:

        I learned that even when parents behave very amicable a divorce is always very hard for children.

      • Omega says:

        Divorce is hard on children regardless of how its handled. There have even been studies where children from homes with DV and who actually wanted their parents apart are still traumatized by divorce. In other words, they knew it was for the best but it still tore them up. My heart goes out to little Apple and Moses.

    • Ericka Lyn says:


      I thought the same thing!!!

    • Eleonor says:

      If she wasn’t the vapid egoistic self-absorb mean girl from the high school that she is, I might even feel sorry for her.

  2. Leslie says:

    I’m surprised they kept up the facade for so long.

    • Meredith says:

      That’s my thought exactly, followed by “Wow, if they’ve kept up the facade for this long, why stop now?”. Wonder if those blind items about Kate Hudson lining Chris up as her next rocker baby daddy are true? When I first heard the rumor, I thought “well, he’s got to leave Goop first”. But now that’s done, I wonder if we will see Kate and Chris together soon.

      • Rhea says:

        “Wow, if they’ve kept up the facade for this long, why stop now?”
        —-> ^^ This. I’m thinking the same. But maybe they both finally had it enough? Its better than staying in a dead-end marriage for another 11 years.

      • don't kill me i'm french says:

        She need to talk to Bellamy before because i saw several pics with Hudson and Bellamy together recently

      • bobbisue says:

        We’re forgetting that sometimes marriages finally end because the “side piece” or new love is putting intense pressure on the person (in this case, probably Chris) to end the charade.

      • Snail says:

        Kate and Matt are on the rocks, too. A split was rumored and now it’s reported that they are going to ‘therapy’ to save their relationship but I doubt that’s gonna save it, so they are nearly over too.
        Would be kind of a low blow for Kate to get together with Chris as she is friends with Gwyneth and Matt has known Chris since before each of their bands got big.

    • Sassy says:

      I found it odd when they recently bought a house in Malibu. They live in Brentwood, I think – and Malibu isn’t far from Brentwood. Point Dume, where the beach house is located, is only 18 miles away. Rather close to the main residence for a “family beach get away”.

  3. aang says:

    My first thought was hahahahahaha………….but then I felt sad for the kids 🙁

    • Relli says:

      Yup me too. But this totally explains the Voice gig, moving to LA and selling the family home in London.

      • Liv says:

        OMG, everything makes sense now! 😉

        I can’t imagine it was her breaking up, because she’s Little Miss Perfect and she definitely wants to stay that way. Her goop thing works best when she can give advice to all of us. She probably thinks seperation is a failure. So I tend to believe it was him who couldn’t keep it up. And I now totally believe that she cheated with this guy. Maybe they were unofficially seperated and she went for it.

      • Esmom says:

        Liv, ITA. I can imagine her sticking it our forever, no matter how miserable she is, just for appearances. I’m never been a Goop hater so I feel kinda bad for her. I imagine her kids having an easier time of this than her.

      • Liv says:

        Lainey just hinted that she was seeing someone in October.

        As for the Second Wife – everyone’s been speculating about her infidelity recently but they might be focusing on the wrong target. The right target isn’t a billionaire but he’s a pretty successful player too, albeit on a smaller screen. Their involvement led to an award for her, and a divorce for him. She was attracted to him because “he’s the hot geeky type like her husband”. Both insist that they never moved past suggestive texting and heavy flirting and never ended up consummating their attraction. Bullsh-t. There was at least one night and that’s why she’s so freaked out about the takedown that’s been coming to her. She’d be happy if they stayed on the current scene they’re on so long as she doesn’t get busted for this one.

      • Mel M says:

        Exact!! Glad CB didn’t wait until tomorrow to post about this.

    • Ray says:

      I already felt sorry for them with goop as a mom

    • Abbott says:

      I say she goes for Orlando Bloom. Watch Kate Bosworth’s have an aneurism.

      • Apples says:

        LOL! Even just a hook-up would be MAGICAL. Bosworth’s head would SPIN like the exorcist.

      • Kosmos says:

        Kate Bosworth and Orlando haven’t been together in years….since then, he’s been married to Miranda Kerr. As far as I know, Orlando isn’t coupled with anyone right now.

      • Apples says:

        It’s not so much that Paltrow and Bloom would ever be interested in each other. It’s more about the impression that Kate Bosworth is desperate and bitterly regrets the (upwardly mobile within Hollywood) situations she has messed up.
        Paltrow would REALLY like to stick it to her. Maybe she has behind the scenes, job-wise.
        (When Bloom was dating? Miranda Kerr, Bosworth called paps and made sure there were picks of her awkwardly hugging Bloom. Etc. etc…)

      • Annaloo. says:

        But Gwyneth looks so much like Legolas. It would be perfect.

    • homegrrrl says:

      I was sad right away, because despite her narcissism, custody is H E L L for kids. The going back and forth, the disorientation, the parents’s awkward dating phases. It’s just not good for kids. Sigh.

  4. bns says:

    Now, I really wish Vanity Fair would do an honest profile on the breakdown of her marriage. Yes, I’m a sick bastard, but I want to know because I never bought their act.

    • don't kill me i'm french says:

      more 10 years of marriage is yet well

    • Jayna says:

      It’s kind of easy. Rock star on the road a lot, self-absorbed with his career. Gwyneth playing the mommy role for years and being fulfilled and waiting at home for him while he’s on the road. Then the kids were older and couldn’t ignore what was missing in the marriage. He likes England. She likes America. She’s hit 40 and time is a-wasting if she wants to be back on the market again. Ultimately, the marriage ran out of steam and tried to make it work longer than it should have because they had kids.

      • Belle Epoch says:

        I’m surprised that anyone is surprised!

        She liked being a rock star’s wife for a little while and then each discovered the other is an insufferable jerk.

      • mercy says:

        Yes. Musicians make notoriously unreliable partners, and they were always something of an odd match. He became infatuated with her while he was still an up-and-comer and she was at the peak of her career. Their roles switched as his career took precedence while she stayed home with the kids. She was also dealing with her father’s illness at the time their relationship started. She even said he reminded her of her father. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was depressed and looking to a family life for comfort. I’m surprised they lasted as long as they did.

      • Esmom says:

        Mercy, yes, if I remember correctly, he pursued her relentlessly until she finally gave in. I thought she saw him as somewhat beneath her station and once they got together I always had the feeling that she settled, which made it feel doomed from the start to me.

      • mercy says:

        There was a feeling that she was ‘slumming it’ for some cool points, but as I remember it, she was in awe of his talent and he was in awe of attracting the attention of a movie star. 😉 He really was something of a geek back then, and Gwyneth was an Oscar winning actress who had dated the likes of Pitt and Affleck. I never pictured him being one to cheat or her evolving into a homemaker back then.

      • Annaloo. says:

        I am so over both of them. They are irritating hypocrites, and the next thing to come is Gwyneth’s “LIVE YO LIFE GURL” female liberation tutorials she’ll shill. THey will both live and work in LA , with separate homes which is what they probably both wanted anyway. She will probably claim that she headed the trend the next neo-feminist wave of divorces in the US.

        Didn’t she and Brad Pitt break up bc she was fooling around?

        She and Cami will make trouble again, which will be fun to watch.

        Who gets Bey & Jay?

      • Amber says:

        I think Jay was definitely Chris’ friend first, right? Martin’s phony, down-to-earth, granola-ey, hypocritical shtick made him just as annoying as Paltrow to me. They live the exact same lifestyle only she, being the more needy of the two, constantly flaunted it. And I think she pretty much admitted to cheating on Brad. She may have cheated on Ben too. It’s hard to Google, and they were off and on their entire relationship. But there were stories about Martin cheating years before they hit their second major speedbumb in 2011/2012, with stories about Gwyneth’s infidelities.

        Aren’t we due for some more Lohan names? That would be the “Oh sh!t” moment of the year if Martin was on it… *fingers crossed* 😀

      • Emily C. says:

        I don’t think it’s as simple as the rock star man being to blame and Goop being a poor little victim, though undoubtedly she will attempt to play it that way. I think she lied, I think she cheated, I think she humiliated him, and I think living with her would be like sandpapering one’s tongue.

      • DrM says:

        Bingo! Perfect description. Add in that her dietary/lifestyle weirdness could make a spouse crazy and you’ve got it…i can hear GOOP from here….”I need to be happpyyy”

    • L says:

      I agree. I think that article was going to touch on the falsehoods of her life. She was terrified because it seems now that this whole situation has been carefully calculated. Now, I do give credit for that since it seems they wanted to have things settled for the children before they released the guillotine. But, it reeks of her self-centered nature in the end. SHE wanted to have the final say on HER website. If they’ve always tried to be so private, including rare sightings together, the formal announcement wasn’t needed. Whatevs. She will find someone else to tap that stripper’s ass.

  5. Latisse says:

    I am happy for her. It always seemed like she tried really hard at a marriage in which the other person had just thrown in the towel. Chris seems like a surly, unappreciative man-child and I’m sure the goopy one will be much happier without him.

    • Tatjana says:

      I really like both of them (yes, even Goop), but they always seemed so mismatched. She was so high maitenance, and he seemed so down to earth. I feel sorry for the kids.

      • don't kill me i'm french says:

        i agree: they always seemed so mismatched

      • Tatjana says:

        Also, wasn’t she his first girlfriend? I think he said something like that in an interview.

      • megsie says:

        No, she wasn’t. He had an English girl before Gwen. Can’t think of her name. I do remember he said “Green Eyes” was written for her.

    • megsie says:

      Surprisingly, I’m finding myself agree. Chris met Paltrow immediately following the death of her beloved father when she was experiencing a vulnerable, sensitive, and humbled moment. So unlike her! He fell and got himself involved with a woman who would soon enough show her true colors. She fought (heaven forbid she admit defeat) and he walked away disappointed.

    • Londerland says:

      Agreed, Latisse. Her Goop activities, her self-presentation as this faddy organic domestic goddess, her dabbling with guest spots on Glee, etc, have always struck me as incredibly needy – as if she wasn’t getting any kind of encouragement from him, she needed to get it from everywhere else. “Love me! I’m doing everything right, I’m still hot after two kids, I have hip friends, look at my stripper’s ass and my quinoa bake while I solve our dispute by blowing you. I’m doing everything you could possibly want, just reassure me I’m the prettiest girl, that’s all I ask…”

      I’d guess she found herself at home trying to be the perfect wife and mother, whereas he wanted to be out still being a rock star with his terrible watered-down imitation U2 stadium bollocks. She wanted him home making spirulina smoothies before the school run with her, he wanted to bang blondes on the tour bus to make up for having been the skinny geeky emo kid until he was almost thirty…

      I may be reading too much into it. But I really hate Coldplay.

      • Jayna says:

        You hit the nail on the head. Although, I used to love Coldplay, even though they were a watered-down version of U2, but still talented. Their early albums were good, but not so much anymore.

      • Kiddo says:

        Yeah, against the grain here, but I sensed melancholy, too. I can’t rejoice in the parting though. I feel bad for the kids, but also for the couple. Considering Hollywood, whether a good or bad marriage, they were together a long time.

      • Christin says:

        Though I have not followed these two closely, I think she has a desperation to be noticed. I am not surprised by this. You just know people tease him about her uppity, ridiculous goopyness. And she may want to relive her single days like she is a 1990s princess again.

      • Kath says:

        Londerland: comment of the day!

      • Camille (The Original) says:

        @Jayna – completely agree with you, used to love them too.

      • Emily C. says:

        It’s not his fault that she’s insufferable.

  6. Chilicat says:

    But who gets custody of Jay z and Beyonce??

    • don't kill me i'm french says:

      LOL it’s Martin who is friend with Jay Z&co

    • Liv says:

      Haha, good one!

    • Apples says:

      HA! Oh, yeah!
      I bet they will share custody of them, too? For appearances sake if nothing else.

    • Miffy says:

      No, he gets all the cool if the relationship falls apart. It’s written in the prenup.

      She gets to keep the outdoor, wood chip fuelled pizza oven.

    • Apples says:

      Wait a second… maybe they won’t be sharing custody of Jay Z + B…
      Ah, didn’t Paltrow specifically ask all her friends for months all Fall to blackball Vanity Fair??
      Because it just dawned on me that Jay Z did an interview with them and was on the Nov 2013 cover. Passive aggressive towards Goop?!

      • Omega says:

        Good points. That would assume that jay and Bey have known about the separation for awhile though (possible, Jay and Bey are pretty secretive so that explains why it didnt leak)

  7. newbie says:

    I cant help but feel that the Vanity Fair thing had a lot to do with their separation. Too bad he doesn’t talk about it.

    • Socalgal says:

      Right! And this comes 5 weeks after the Kevin Yorn rumor. To me it’s obvious the affair wasn’t just a rumor. I think Chris bailed after finding out the truth.

      • Emily C. says:

        I agree. I think they had an open marriage but were supposed to be honest with each other, and she was not honest with him, and that was the final straw.

      • Caz says:

        that would be hypocritical of Martin, considering there have long been rumours of him being on with Bosworth & Natalie Imbruglia. Maybe the rumours & VF article was just too much for them to keep up the facade.

        the divorce settlement will be straightforward – they have enough assets/real estate to sensibly divide, work out custody arrangements and quickly hook up with their current side-pieces.

  8. don't kill me i'm french says:

    the best is #counciousuncoupling

    i just hope the divorce will be NOT mean (they just bought an expensive house in Malibu together)

    • TG says:

      Yes that “conscious uncoupling” is so condescending to all others who have gone before them. It is like they know they are no different than any other shallow Hollyweird couple that married and divorced so they have to try to put everyone else down in their announcement. As if other divorced couples didn’t work consciously to save their marriage too. I don’t hate Gwyneth and I actually bought the People magazine cover when she was on the cover as the most beautiful and I hadn’t bout a People magazine in over 10 years. But this stayeny reeks of “I better than you”.

    • Miffy says:

      Damn. I wish I had conciously uncoupled, unfortunately I’m a peasant who just f*cked his sh*t out on the front lawn in garbage bags. Ugh! Why am I so GAUCHE?!?

      • DrM says:

        ” fuc**d his sh*t out on to the lawn in garbage bags…” Now that made me laugh! 🙂

    • Senaber says:

      I keep reading this as couscous uncoupling. I thought it was a goopy new diet fad at first.

    • Ag says:

      I KNOW. are you contrasting that with “UNconscious uncoupling,” goop? like, people signing divorce papers by mistake? and then saying “ooops, we didn’t meant that!” dumbass.

      this will only make her more insufferable and bring on a constant flow of goop news as she looks for sympathy, and then tries to bang her way up the high society. sigh.

  9. Louise says:

    Shocked! but he has never looked better…

    • newbie says:

      I think she looks better than him. Despite all the crap that’s thrown at her on this site I always felt like she is a very beautiful woman.

      • Liv says:

        I don’t like her very much, but I think she looks good too. All the talk about her face is so ridiculous. She’s 41 for god’s sake. And who wants to stay completely out of the sun?

      • Jarredsgirl says:

        I totally agree Newbie. I don’t really understand the hate, for Gwyneth & most celebrities. They are just people, nobody is perfect. I like Gwyneth’s look.

      • Nina W says:

        She looks damn good.

      • Violet says:

        I like her but I think for all she talks about body image, she doesn’t look that good. But anyway I have always find her pretty (not so much now) but plain, nothing special.

  10. Alright then says:

    I’m actually really shocked by this!

  11. Michelle says:

    I thought they very recently bought property together. Was it a new house in Malibu?? Strange.

    • don't kill me i'm french says:

      this month ,they bought a huge house in Malibu close of RDJ’s house :maybe their dovorce will be friendly

      • Liv says:

        I’m sure at least one of them is seeing someone. I doubt their divorce will be friendly then.

    • LAK says:

      Perhaps it was bought for her. Isn’t RDJ her friend rather than their friend?

  12. Jaime says:

    On the one hand, I’m cackling. On the other, I actually feel bad for the kids. It must be rough to have your parents split up when you’re so young. (of course, having Goopy as a mom must be rough too but that’s a whole other topic)

  13. Kate says:

    I can’t help feeling sad about this – is that silly of me? I wonder who gets to keep Jay and Beyonce…

    • Amanda says:

      I’m sad too. I kind of liked them as a couple a lot more after “Fix You.” Such a romanti song — it made me like them together.

      • Chrissy says:

        Agreed. I really liked them together. It seemed to give Gwyneth some substance (some may argue that marrying Chris Martin added a “cool” factor) that she would marry someone “beneath her” when she was at the peak of her career.

        “Fix You” will always be my favourite Coldplay song.

  14. Frida_K says:

    It’s not a separation they are announcing, you peasant. They’re uncoupling.

    And co-parenting. With hearts full of sadness.

    Got it?

    Get your terminology right or she’ll have you beheaded and what, then, we would do on the Bitchy without you, Kaiser?


    • don't kill me i'm french says:

      #CounciousUncoupling WTF?

    • Ellen says:

      After a year spent looking “to see what might have been possible between us.”

      The absolutely overwhelming pretentiousness of the statement makes it hard for me to do anything but laugh. I feel bad for the kids, I feel bad for Martin & Paltrow because it’s hard to throw in the towel on any long-term relationship, but mostly I feel bad that nothing in life can shake Goop off her goopy throne.

      • Esmom says:

        I know, it is pretty pretentious. Although I gotta give them credit for being a bit more creative than some celeb statements like this, lol, it’s not pure boilerplate. We were just discussing these very statements here in this space not long ago (can’t remember in what context), and what BS they are.

      • Seán says:

        “to see what might have been possible between us.”

        Eh, I don’t see this as particularly pretentious. It seems like they were trying to work through their issues and try and find some other way of repairing their relationship before resorting to divorce.

      • Esmom says:

        Seán, I don’t disagree that that sentence isn’t pretentious in and of itself. It’s more the whole idea of a celebrity’s statement, like this, which is basically a whole lot of fluff covering up the simple fact that a couple has split.

        They would never share the real details — nor should they — so the whole thing just reeks of an exercise in trying to sound as good as possible with no real regard for the facts. Of course they’re going to say they tried to work through their issues because that sounds better than saying they simply gave up.

        Basically it’s all just a bunch of BS, not that we are entitled to anything more.

      • CC says:

        Actually it’s more of a creative way not to publicly throw the other under the bus for his/her misdeeds.

      • Yeah, I’m not understanding how hard it is to come up with a simple, no bs statement like— “John and Jane Doe, after a careful consideration have decided to formally separate and end their x year(s) long marriage. The couple wishes for privacy in the coming days”. DONE.

      • Happyhat says:

        “We decided we really couldn’t be bothered any more, we were tired of looking at each other’s faces and bored of listening to each other’s jokes. Rather than go counselling, we decided it was far easier to break up because anything else was far too much effort. Plus, a divorce would also be good PR for us. Our children don’t care, because they both openly despise us. They are looking forward to having two sets of presents for Christmas.”

      • Esmom says:

        Happyhat, YES! That’s what I would love to see, lol. Unvarnished truth. Love it.

      • Zwella Ingrid says:

        I love you Happyhat! Your comments are hilarious!!

  15. aang says:

    ok, I went back and read the article after commenting. “Consciously uncouple” ??? I really dislike this woman.

    • Jayna says:

      Hey, maybe Chris wrote that deep term of art for divorcing. Nah. LOL

      • TG says:

        Yes I know when exactly is it not a conscious uncoupling for anyone? One or both parties made a conscious decision to leave the other, likely because they can no longer stand you. Lol

    • Violet says:

      First I was sad for the kids and them as it was a marriage coming to an end. After reading that I was like HAHAHAHAHA. Just say you are separating, nothing more woman.

  16. Arock says:

    Omgomgomgomg I just spit coconut oil all over my screen. Goopster breaks up? Kimye vogue? What next, god!?!
    Please let tom cruise come out on a pride float this weekend. Puhlease!!!!!

  17. Abbott says:


    Midweek announcement? Strange. These things usually come on a Friday news dump. Trying to get ahead of something??

  18. Jayna says:

    She’s pretty much in interviews shown it was in trouble and also was so desperate for attention that she was sexy and beautiful. I thought she probably wasn’t feeling that way at home from him. So doesn’t surprise me. Chris just isn’t into her that much anymore and thus the marriage lost its spark and so she wasn’t into him anymore after trying to reignite the spark. So it is joint, but I guarantee it was passive-aggressively caused by Chris being non-attentive to her for a few years but sticking with it for the children and ultimately let her be the one to finally say it and pull the plug so he isn’t the bad guy telling her.

    • Alexandria The Great says:

      Spot-on. I just had a passive-agressive break-up with an emotionally unavailable man “EUM”. It feels worse than just being broken-up with because they slowly start to pull away and feed you “crumbs” of affection. They slowly manage-down your expectations and then you feel like you’re going crazy. I was like, yeah, I deserve better and more than you’re currently offering. So I pulled the plug on the relationship and he can go on feeling like he’s the “good guy”. Men like this are ASS-HATS.
      Good riddance.

      • Esmom says:

        Oh wow, that sounds exhausting. So sorry for you. Although it sounds like you’re better off.

      • M.A.F. says:

        Christ, that sounds like something my friend is currently going through. It sucks.

      • Nina W says:

        Modern man-boys, gotta love them. Oh I know, why don’t you stay a teenager until you’re 80, it will be delightful for all of us and your mother will be so proud. Here, let me do the laundry.

      • Delta Juliet says:

        Ugh that sounds like my husband 🙁

      • Zwella Ingrid says:

        Sounds like my husband too, :^(

    • kibbles says:

      I agree. In the last several years, I thought Paltrow was going through some sort of mid-life crisis with her comments. She was so try-hard in making the public believe that she and Martin were doing great, that they had a great sex life, that she always felt sexy and secure. Those are sure signs that things aren’t as great at home as the person wants to believe or wants everyone else to believe. Goop seemed to be the type of side project that a person in an unhappy marriage would start as a hobby to pass the time. It just happened that her side project actually became a bonfire successful lifestyle website. I also don’t believe Martin is the type of person who wants personal information shared with millions on a blog or talk show. Paltrow was craving attention and validation she could not get at home, but Martin seemed to be officially over her for a long time now.

      • danielle says:

        I feel a bit sorry for her, I will admit. He seemed crazy about her at first, but tat faded when his star was brighter and she was the goopster.

    • Roxi says:

      Yup, agree

  19. Seriously?! says:

    I’m honestly shocked by this. I know people here have a tendency to treat Gwyneth harshly, but I do feel sorry for her, Chris, and their children. Divorces are never easy.

  20. Lainey says:

    It’s not a time for gloating when there are children involved. It’s too bad but like many modern splits hopefully they’re going to co-parent amicably for the sake of the kids. In their world 11 years is a pretty good run.

    • don't kill me i'm french says:

      even in my world 11 years of marriage is a good run

      • Seriously?! says:

        Mine, too. I have countless friends who quit their “starter marriages” after a couple years and are on to their second at thirty. Marriage isn’t forever anymore for a lot of people, Hollywood starlets and regular people alike.

      • kibbles says:

        Some of my classmates started divorcing in their late 20s – early 30s after less than 5 years together. My single never married friend in her early 30s said she is waiting to catch a good guy in his second round after he ends the mistake known as his first marriage. Ha. She might be into something. Most marriages do not last forever anymore. I guess I’ll give Paltrow props for trying to hold it together for so long even when it was obvious that Martin had thrown in the towel. Some people are not meant to be married, especially when they are famous rockers who are always tempted on the road.

    • Dame Snarkweek says:

      Can’t we feel bad for the kids and still gloat? After years of being made to feel that I have the colon of a peasant I deserve to gloat.

      • pam says:

        You win the internet!

      • epiphany says:

        Yes, I’m there with you. Hate what divorce does to the kids, but I can’t feel sorry for this pretentious, mean spirited waste of space. I predicted in 2012 their marriage would end in 2013 – I wasn’t far off the mark. IMO, something that was supposed to be revealed in that Vanity Fair article was the last straw. Reap that karma Gwynnie!

      • Liberty says:

        Dame Snarkweek, your comment is the hot fudge on this news bit. Colon of a peasant!

        (though I do feel sorry for the kids)

      • Dame Snarkweek says:

        *waves at Liberty*
        Mmmmm, sweet fudgy schadenfreude!

    • Snazzy says:

      @kibbles: i’m 37 and that’s exactly what I did! Caught a great guy on round 2 🙂

      • Lucky Charm says:

        That doesn’t always work out, though. I was wife #2…and now he’s on marriage #4. Although ours was the longest lasting one. 🙂

      • Nina W says:

        My Mom had a round two, with the love of her life, and even though I’m a round one product, everyone deserves to find the love of their life!

  21. Anguishedcorn says:

    My parents bought a new house together just before they divorced. When I asked why later, my mom jus sighed and said it’s what you do as a last ditch effort.

    I never saw any chemistry between them, but divorce with kids is always sad.

  22. Angel May says:

    Like I said in the other Gwyneth thread, I feel bad for her. You get the sense she put up with a lot from him. But yeah, “conscious uncoupling” is so… Malibu.

    I see her aiming for a billionaire. He’ll probably turn up in a week with some young groupie.

  23. Alexandria The Great says:

    Recently saw them and their kids at a food truck festival in LA. Martin looked “over it” while he ate a corn dog with the kids, and Gwyneth ate an entire cheeseburger (so pedestrian, but she seemed to enjoy it, lol) from Baby’s Badass Burgers. I don’t feel one way one way or the other about their separation, but I’m curious to see who Gwenny dates next.

    P.S. Her skin actually looks good in person *gasps*

    • Artemis says:

      I’m curious too because she NEVER downgrades. She gets all of her men in their frigging prime (but then again, they were young). She actually was able to upgrade from Brad Pitt (Affleck with Good Will Hunting and commercial succes + fame). I mean, good for gossip!

      • Liv says:

        And Cami is single too. Super interesting. Although I still think she or he has already someone lined up…

  24. Lucy2 says:

    I wonder if this is all part of the Vanity Fair thing, and she begged and pleaded them to let her announce it on her own terms. Which I honestly couldn’t blame her for if that’s the case.
    They always seem like an odd couple, but I feel bad for their kids. Hopefully it’s amicable for their sake.

    • JayGee says:

      Yeah I agree 100%, I think VF did find out about the separation and then backed down from publishing it.

    • Nina W says:

      Good theory, would explain her being so upset and VF backing down on publishing the article.

  25. MollyB says:

    They always seemed like kind of a frigid couple to me. I never saw any warmth or affection between them but maybe that’s just Chris’ stiff upper lip and all that.

  26. bobbisue says:

    The writing has been all over the wall for a while now. Not really a surprise but still very SAD. It’s just sad when families come undone.

    • Dani2 says:

      Not surprising but still sad, “Fix You” is one of my favourite songs ever and I always thought that the story behind the song was the sweetest thing. Separation is hard on the entire family.

      • Nessa says:

        What’s the story behind that song? It is amazing.

      • Esmom says:

        I think the story is about Gwenyth’s grieving for her dad and Chris wanting to “fix” her and make the pain go away.

  27. MeganDraper says:

    Wow! How many gossip pages were saying something was wrong for the past 2 to 3 years. HA!! People had it right. I wonder how she’s going to play this because anyone who reads gossip will not feel sorry for her. I wonder if she will do a People cover to gain sympathy?

  28. lin234 says:

    I feel bad for their kids, but I also feel cynical when I see a Hollywood couple reach ten years in California. Is Chris worth more than Goop now? She gets half of what he has huh? I just see her as a very practical person whose prime concern is maintaining her lifestyle.

    • JayGee says:

      I wonder if they had a prenup? GP has Avengers money now so I doubt she needs his (nor do I think he needs/wants her money either). 10+ years of marriage would entitle a low or no earning spouse to lifetime alimony but in this case, with two really wealthy people, I don’t see a judge giving either of them alimony.

    • LadySlippers says:

      Good question.

      And they moved to California which is a community property state. Ouch.

    • Lilacflowers says:

      She came from wealth and probably has considerable trust funds, plus she has been working for many years, probably demanding a high salary, which was probably invested well. She probably won’t ask for any of his money.

      • Nina W says:

        As far as I know her background is middle class. Her father was a successful director and her mother a successful actress and Gwyneth, I’m sure, had a lovely and privileged up-bringing but she did not come from blue blood, wealth and trust funds.

      • Emily C. says:

        Successful director + successful actress mother = wealth. Lots and lots of wealth. That’s not “middle class” at all; it’s extremely rich.

      • Francis says:

        Blythe her mother is old Society money, Grace Kelly although a bit older was a dear friend of Gwyneth’s mother, they both came from East coast society families. The Families knew each other. Gwyneth and her family spent childhood summers in Monte Carlo at the Palace with the Princesses and Prince of Monaco, she called Prince Ranier uncle.
        Gwyneth went to high society schools, she stopped schooling to pursue acting.
        She was definitely one of the East coast society girls, that is why she was compared to Grace Kelly, it wasn’t about looks , it was because when Gwyneth arrived in. Hollywood, she was not one of those actresses who was worried about money or how to make connections, she had a certain high society background that Hollywood knew about and they knew she wouldn’t have to sing for her supper. Yes she is a blueblood. Not middleclass, never was.
        Gwyneth had two European Royal houses pursuing her as a possible serious match for their sons. Look up princes she was reportedly on a date or two with. One was nothing more than a old friendship but one was seriously considered, but the two were just not compatible.
        No she’s not middleclass, her mom is old society blueblood and her dad was a Hollywood producer. Gwyneth has never been middleclass.

        P.S. Chris Martin has been allegedly reported to have been having alleged affairs for the past five years. Read about Chris and Kate Bosworth. It was also reported he heavily lusted after Rihana and would have if she wanted him,,but she didn’t. Allegedly to all above in P.S.

  29. Dani2 says:

    They’ve always seemed really mismatched to me, even when I was just a teen that read an interview about her new marriage in Glamour magazine. This isn’t surprising at all.

  30. Xantha says:

    No lie, I actually plotzed when I heard the news. I thought they would just stay together and just do that whole separate lives deal. I’m still too stunned to snark.

  31. Louminary says:


    that is all

    • don't kill me i'm french says:

      it’s too funny for their kids also ?? you can dislike her but a divorce with kids involved is never nice or cool or funny

      • Louminary says:

        I just don’t like her, wasn’t remotely thinking about the children.

        Just out of curiosity, arent’ we almost at a point where divorce with children involved is totally commonplace? Not saying it makes it easier, but it certainly is the norm now, so maybe the pain is slightly lessened knowing that at least half or more of your friends are in the same position as you? And lots of people to talk to about it who understand?
        I grew up in Ireland, and there I felt very sorry for children of divorce (or more often, fathers disappearing) because it was so rare, and even illegal for so very long. Those kids suffered alone.
        These days, so many kids are divorced kids, they don’t need pity, they will be just fine and thrive!

      • MissMoody says:

        I’m with @Louminary. Yeah it’s better for kids to have two parents together who love and respect each other but, coming from a home where my parents “stayed together for the kids,” divorce can be a much better option. A relief even, for everyone involved.

      • Nina W says:

        My parents divorced when I was 12 and it was rough but I prayed for them to divorce before it happened. I didn’t know what divorce was exactly and I still got on my knees and prayed for it because we needed one. Divorce is not easy or desirable but never assume staying married is better for the kids because it’s not always so.

  32. cerebralmind says:

    She always seems so anal and uptight to me (bless her heart she tries so hard to be cool and hip), and he seems chill and down to earth. I didn’t understand this pairing (personality wise), but sometimes opposites attract. I felt the same way about her and Brad Pitt. It’s always sad to hear about the splitting up of a couple (famous or non-famous).

    • Jayna says:

      I have never in my life seen a celebrity name drop as much as Gwyneth does when referring to friends. The Madonna stuff was the same way with her. She doesn’t just mention her famous buddies. She goes into detail about when they are hanging out. And the Jay Z and Beyonce stuff was so over the top and happened far too often.

    • Artemis says:

      We don’t know her. Don’t you think it’s odd that most of her boyfriends are the ‘chill type’? Brad was a stoner, Affleck was a drinker and Martin is British 🙂 She never had any lack of romance in her life so clearly she must be a caring partner.

      We know a lot about her but there is more that we don’t know. Assuming she is icy as a romantic partner is weird considering we’re not there in their house. If it’s too much PDA we don’t believe it, too little and we don’t believe it either. Klum and Seal were all over each other and they split too so again, who knows?

      • Emily C. says:

        Having a lot of romantic relationships doesn’t mean you’re a caring partner. It just means you are able to attract people. And considering the precise way she tends to move on from said relationships (by cheating), I do not think she is caring at all.

  33. kibbles says:

    I don’t usually get any satisfaction from other people’s misfortunes or marital problems, but when I first saw this story, my first reaction was laughter. A small part of me was surprised that they decided to end the facade of a semi-happy marriage they’ve managed to maintain for so long. But for me, it wasn’t totally jaw dropping news. It just felt like vindication that Paltrow’s life really isn’t as great and perfect as she wants all of us peasants to believe. And also, that there might be truth to those cheating rumors and the bombshell story Vanity Fair threatened to publish.

    I personally think that they’ve always had problems in their marriage. There were rumors of Chris Martin cheating for years. I’m not sure when the rumors started, but maybe it was as far back as 2008 or 2009. I think part of the reason why they were rarely seen together in public was because, somewhere deep down inside, Paltrow knew the problems they had were big enough to eventually lead to divorce. An example is when a frequent Facebook user might decide to never post photos of their relationship despite sharing every other aspect of their life because they are ashamed or believe that the relationship is doomed to end anyway. That’s what I always felt was the likely explanation to why they were so against being photographed together. They were more open to being photographed together in the last several years probably as damage control or to quash the growing rumors that their relationship was in trouble. Or maybe because they had already decided to separate and became closer simply as co-parents and friends.

    This divorce will likely be as amicable as possible. I believe that both have had a long enough time to figure out how to co-parent and work together in an otherwise loveless relationship.

    • Artemis says:

      They were rarely seen because they were all about privacy. When Goop split with Pitt, she learnt a thing or two about privacy in a high profile relationship as she regretted the things she said about him. Same for Affleck when he split with Lopez. Some relationships just change you. And Martin was semi-tolerable in the beginning, I don’t know what happened but their PDA moments were sparse really quickly and I don’t think they fell out of love so quickly.

    • Nina W says:

      I wouldn’t read too much in photo trails.

  34. name du jour says:

    Uncoupling sounds like they’re climbing off each other after sex, not breaking up.

  35. bec says:

    Gobsmacked! Not that they separated, obviously, I believe they’ve been separated for a long time., despite their publicity act.
    No, I’m gobsmacked that Lady Goop actually admitted something real for once

    • Liberty says:

      Maybe she wanted to announce before he steps out with someone else…..or she knows pictures are about to come out.

  36. Kelly says:


    I mean I knew he had cheated on her and she on him, but still.


  37. Aagje says:

    I actually gasped out loud. And the boyfriend gave me a massive side-eye when he saw why…

    In the past year they were actually seen together. I always thought they would just continue their little trysts on the side and keep it together for the kids.

    #Consciousuncoupling #likeapeasant

  38. d b says:

    Good grief. Gwyneth is going to be single. I don’t know if I have the intestinal fortitude for the articles about her being a single working mom, or dating, goopstyle.

    • bobbisue says:

      She’ll find she doesn’t have 20 minutes for poilling.

    • pru says:

      Oh, god, the thought!!
      Now my heart really is full of sadness.

    • Jilliterate says:

      You’ve predicted a dark future for all of us…

      “GOOP’s Tips for Dating:

      1. Here we have a fresh ‘date’ outfit assembled with selections by some of GOOP’s favourite designers. Since I’m now experienced with pre- AND post-matrimony situations, I take dating a lot less seriously than I did in my twenties, so this outfit is pretty casual. Being a single mom who’s roughing it, I’m a lot more conscious of my spending habits, which is why the price tag on this outfit totals just under $5000!

      2. Now in my forties, I find I enjoy spending my evenings at home, rubbing my face with melted ambergris, fresh from a whale’s gullet. As such, I find I don’t really have the stamina for the late-night dating scene. Instead, I prefer to take a guy out for a light, casual brunch. My favourite choice for these dates is Borgenglast’s — an adorable little bistro in Manhattan that makes the most scrumptious organic Faberé egg quiches! Tip: He’s paying!

      3. Entertainment is always a touch choice for a date. My personal preference is to take in an off-Broadway play, which can be intellectually stimulating without forcing you to brush shoulders with the swaths of huddled masses, yearning to breath free. Specifically, hire your own famous thespians to put off a play just for you and your date in your own home. It really adds a personal touch. Why, just last week I had Ralph Fiennes and Sir Patrick Stewart flown in to perform ‘The Threepenny Opera’ in my theatre lounge. It was such a romantic afternoon!

      It can be tough being a single mom. Worrying financially and trying to find the time to make life just about you really can add a few wrinkles to one’s forehead. Don’t let life stress you out too much — sometimes you just need to indulge yourself, send the kids away with their nannies, crack open a bottle of 1787 Chateau Yquem, and soak yourself in a tub of bubbles and petals from the endangered chocolate cosmos flower. You can do it!”

      • bec says:

        The life of a peasant sounds really tough! I couldn’t imagine the hardships you must endure!

      • LadySlippers says:

        OMG this was funny!!!!

        *grabs pen & paper to write down tips*

        Will ANY endangered plant do?????

        And I can’t find the vintage you suggested, any other bottles per chance?

        But seriously THANK YOU! I just know that I’ll snag a new LordSlippers sooner than latter. And it’s ALL due to you!


    • mia girl says:

      I’m late to these comments but this is exactly what I was thinking!

      Goop will seize the opportunity to corner the market on the lifestyle of a divorced mom making it in the world one juice cleanse at a time.

      I’m sure she’s already mapped out the evolution of her brand. It behind with an “uncoupling”. It’s all there in that statement. She’s going to do this break up thing better than anyone before… The Givorce brand has begun!

  39. Mingy says:

    hmm i wonder if this means coldplay will make good music now. i stopped liking their shit about 10 years ago..coincidence???

  40. Seen says:

    Here’s what coming : goop dates. God help us all.

  41. itsetsyou says:

    Should we expect the announcement from Jay Z now? Everybody knows those two hang…

  42. Bella says:

    I never hated Gwyneth. I actually kinda like her, she is amusing in her own way of being and I like some of her tv interviews I find her funny. I still think its very sad that they are separating its always hard for anybody no matter if they are rich poor saint or bitchy.. Any breakup is painful and more so if there are the kids involved. Everybody critizes Gwyneth but who knows how Chris was with her, I think they both cheated and perhaps Chris was the first doing it. I remember very well the rumors of him cheatIng (in a very obvious way, public kissing in a concert) with Kate Bosworth.

    • don't kill me i'm french says:

      because there are some pics with Martin and Bosworth together ??

      • Bella says:

        Never seen photos BUT there were witnesses that reported watching them making out very public. If you read laineygossip archives on Kate B and Chris she gives a lot of indirects about their affair. Also if you put it on google there are various articles about those rumors. Of course I dont really know it but where there’s smoke, there’s fire. I could also assume Goop cheated as well…who know really what went on their marriage when they were “councious coupling”

      • cr says:

        No pics, just supposed/rumored multiple sightings.

      • MissMoody says:

        I don’t know if pointing out holes in tabloid stories is the right game to be playing now. After all, they did just announce their separation. Maybe some of those tabloids got it right?

      • cr says:

        @MissMoody: The first publication that went with the Bosworth/Martin hookup story was Star. Sooo, not the most reliable source. But, Kate had been hanging out with Goop and friends before that, and then wasn’t. I always took that as an indication that at least Goop thought it was true, or at least very believable.

      • danielle says:

        Martin said he’d sue star but never did for printing rumors of him and bosworth, and then she stopped hanging with the goop crew, so everyone assumes the story was true.

  43. CarolinaBelle says:

    Enjoy your can of cheese Chris!

  44. bobbisue says:

    Someone over at Dlisted says that Chris has been (rumoured) with a female sound engineer for years now. Anyone??

    • don't kill me i'm french says:

      Female sound engineer ? it exists ? in the rock/pop world?
      i thought Colplay worked with U2’s sound engineer?

      • bobbisue says:

        They exist. But, it could be a rumour.

        Though, I started thinking about that bizarre tweet she wrote “Who do you have to bang to get a copy of the new Coldplay CD?” or something like that. Could have been a direct barb at someone waiting patiently in the wings. A woman GOOP was well aware of.

    • MissMoody says:

      No but I have heard about him and Natalie Imbruglia (?). If you believe the rumors, she’s been his favorite side piece for years. Who knows? Maybe it will all come out now? I hope so lol

    • Nina W says:

      He may be banging everyone in sight but it’s all just been a bunch of talk and I have a hard time believing in his wandering dong without at least one photo showing up. Who doesn’t have a cell phone camera?

  45. LadyS says:

    I’m not surprised at all. More shocked it took ten years.

  46. Jayna says:

    Next book, How to be Your Best Self After Divorce.

  47. meryl says:

    can i have him? please. oh he is so handsome. i totally saw this coming. she just morphed into an alien over the years. he is an artist with credibility after all. and she’s goop.

  48. ZAK says:

    Not surprised by this news at all. I thought they’d announce 6 months ago. Of course. it is sad when a marriage ends. Kate Hudson and her Boyfriend are next.

  49. Isa says:

    I’m not surprised but it does seem like they’ve really tried to make it work.

  50. Paloma says:

    I’m being serious when I say Jen A. and Angie better watch out. I don’t trust Gwyn. Wonder if Chris thought she had been unfaithful as some rumors seem to have suggested?

    • Seriously?! says:

      The rumors of Chris’s infidelity came long before Goop’s did. He had a fling with Kate Bosworth that led to her being shunned by all of Goop’s friends.

      • don't kill me i'm french says:

        where are the pics of Martin/Bosworth at U2 concert or backstage or after party in 2009?

    • lunchcoma says:

      I don’t think either Gwyneth or Brad would be interested in each other at this point. If you believe the rumors about her affairs, it seems like she’s mostly been going for guys who are successful, but who aren’t quite as public as she is.

    • M.A.F. says:

      I thought she cheated on Pitt which led to them breaking up? You know what they say-once a cheater, always a cheater.

  51. lunchcoma says:

    I think they’d been planning it for awhile when the Vanity Fair gossip broke, then delayed it until it had died down. I also think they’ve been quasi-separated for a long time and have both already met new people. I’d say that’s doubly true of Gwyneth, since that’s her pattern, but I get the feeling Chris as found someone new as well.

    • lisa2 says:

      I was thinking the same thing. I bet Chris is the one that has really moved on. I will not be surprised if in a few weeks he is seen with someone. If Gwyneth does have someone I don’t see her being visible with him until after Chris. That way people will be more in her corner..
      “she deserves to be happy after he was so so with her”

      • lunchcoma says:

        That wouldn’t surprise me, either. Chris might have found a woman who has Amber Heard type ambitions and who wants him single. I agree Gwyneth will probably wait a little longer to be public with whatever her relationship is.

      • Liv says:

        I love your “Amber Heard type ambitions”-comment.

  52. Jen says:

    I think she announced late Tuesday to miss a tabloid cycle. But they now have a whole week to dig. So watch out next week. Hopefully they put the children first and not their egos.

  53. Hannah says:

    Woah we are going to see a dating Gwyneth!

    I cant imagine she will bag anyone nice her own age? Maybe the kind of guy that dates Demi Moore? Or like the kind of guy Selma Hayek is married to?

    • lunchcoma says:

      I think she’s going to do a Reese Witherspoon and find some attractive, rich dude her own age who isn’t famous.

      • Kelly says:

        Reese’s husband is attractive?? News to me

      • lunchcoma says:

        He’s not celebrity hot, but he’s regular person attractive, which is pretty much what I’d consider Reese to be. (Also, compare with Salma Hayek’s or Miranda Kerr’s billionaires.)

      • amy c says:

        Considering that she was married to Ryan totally hot Philippe, Mr. Toths is definitely a downgrade.

      • @amy c
        If you disregard the wandering and non condom wearing* peen–yeah.

        *Phillipe got the sex crazy chick off of Pitch Perfect pregnant…..

      • AG-UK says:

        Toth isn’t nearly as rich as Reese. Goop will need a Hedge Fund Mgr rich as she is or more and can be understated off the radar.

  54. OhDear says:

    Aw, I mean, practically everyone saw it coming, but it’s sad. Especially for the kids.

  55. Dimebox says:

    I just hope he gets custody of the Vespas. #savethechildren

  56. rudy says:

    Goop doesn’t demean herself like the rest of us peasants who might separate or divorce. Too low brow for her. She consciously uncouples.

    Just in, from Blind Gossip:
    Gwyneth did a few episodes of Glee playing a substitute Spanish teacher. It was during this time that Gwyneth and Brad Falchuk had an affair. It was this affair that Gwyneth was terrified about appearing in Vanity Fair, both because it was more recent and because it was with a married man.

    • bobbisue says:

      I solved that blind months ago, lol. So proud of my armchair detective work hehe

    • zut alors! says:

      But she’s a GIRL’S GIRL™!!! You mean she’s a common HOMEWRECKER?! Whatever will happen to her friendship with Chelsea Handler, the self appointed bouncer of the Girl’s Girl™ clique? Will Chelsea go on endless public tirades against Gwyneth in support of that poor cheated on wife?

  57. pru says:

    She made this announcement via GOOP?? Seems kind of tacky. Maybe it’s her way of taking control of the situation.
    I feel for the kids. “Uncouplings” are so hard for children.

    • kibbles says:

      Well, it’s good advertisement for her site. Goop crashed because it probably got record traffic from people who would have never visited her site otherwise to read her divorce announcement.

      • pru says:

        Which makes it that much more despicable, in my opinion, using something that is so hurtful to her children as a way to promote her business. Not a very caring, co-parenting move. She must be taking lessons from PMK.

  58. Tiffany says:

    Haven’t they been married for 10 years. That means community property in CA and I think Goop is going to fight to file there. There is no way she can keep up her lifestyle without Coldplay money no matter how much face cream she hustles.

    • poppy says:

      word. even if she has saved every penny she ever made it would never be a drop in his money bucket. isn’t his money why she snagged him to begin with and happily settled into homemaking when her star started to fade?
      she’s been shilling any and every thing she can because she doesn’t get movie offers and the writing was on the wall for a long time.
      he seems like he’ll always provide for his kids, but her, probably not, certainly not indefinitely. especially when the next mrs martin happens along.

  59. pam says:

    I’m sorry for Apple and Moses – I’m sure their dad loves them dearly, but won’t be in their lives as much as he would like. I started to dislike Gwyneth when she had an affair with Viggo Mortensen, which put an end to her and Brad Pitt (hooray). She also cheated on Affleck. Put the blame on her parents who raised her to believe she was the Princess who could have anything she desired…

    • M.A.F. says:

      Damn it, it was Mortensen she had the affair with?! I should have known, they did look hot in that movie they did together.

    • MissMoody says:

      Interesting. GOOP has alluded to having cheated on Brad but I never realized with who. Viggo M? Yeah, I’d do it too

  60. Evelyn Apricots says:

    Chris Martin has been dating Natalie Imbruglia since 2009. They are going to go public real soon.

    • MissMoody says:

      See this is what I thought too! I don’t have any idea about their recent relationship but he was flying her into LA a lot at one point.

    • bobbisue says:

      He’s been dating her for half his marriage?? Um….hmmm

    • Izzy says:

      They dated before he met Goop, didn’t they? Then they split, she got back with her now-ex-husband, he met Goop who got pregnant and they got married. Timing is everything, I guess. But realistically, that is what happened. Goop and Martin seemed happy and in love at the time, but if things had happened differently, who knows if they would have stayed together and got married.

    • MonicaQ says:

      Wait, that one hit wonder chick?!

  61. LeAnn Stinks says:

    Q: Who didn’t see this coming?
    A: No one.

  62. Erandyn says:

    I feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in unison: CALLED IT!

    • Abbicci says:

      You win the internet today!

    • Caz says:

      hehe when I saw this article on a newssite I went straight here to see the verdict. “Oh.My.Gawd!!!!” Kaiser you didn’t disappoint.

      I LOVE it when celebs get all righteous about their relationships being in trouble and then the truth comes out and contradicts them. Gold.

  63. Kali says:

    I’m genuinely trying to be a better person these days and be nicer. That being said, schadenfreude is delicious. Decisions, decisions.

  64. Abbicci says:

    I am not a fan of Her Royal Twatness but I feel badly for anyone going through the ending of a relationship. And having to do it in public must sick balls/

    Then my inner gossip bitch starts screaming ” I can;t wait to hear about all the affairs she had. I bet the gloves will be off soon and some one if going to spill the whole story.

  65. poppy says:

    never a good idea to use a pregnancy to snag a man.
    announcing the uncoupling online seems on par with the whole hypocritical “give me my privacy while i tell you every detail (i want you to know) of (my fantasy version of) my life”. tacky.
    sorry for their children.

  66. Mouse says:

    Can you UNconsciously uncouple?

    Go to bed …wake up divorced in the morning? Like, “honey? You’re moving out? What are these papers? Custody? I have no idea how this happened!”

    • someone says:

      Yeah, or maybe accidentally drive backwards through a wedding chapel in Las Vegas while drunk? UNconsciously…. lol

  67. Karen says:

    I gasped!!! Wow.

  68. Jess says:

    I am a bit ashamed of how happy this news makes me. I feel sad for the kids, of course, but given how sanctimonious Goop has been about motherhood and marriage, this feels like a vindication. I know people like her, however, and I’m sure that she will end up feeling superior about this “conscious uncoupling” too. Meanwhile, the anal lawyer in me really wants to fix the grammatical mistakes in her announcement.

  69. Camille (The Original) says:

    It is very sad for their kids, but I might finally be able to dig out all of my old Coldplay CD’s and listen to them again one day without cringing- yay!

  70. Anne says:

    It always makes me sad when couples grow apart, expect when Katie Holmes left Crazy Tom.

  71. Lilacflowers says:

    It is sad when any marriage comes to an end – but this totally makes Kim’s Vogue cover irrelevant.

  72. Jen34 says:

    “In many ways we are closer than we have ever been” ?!!!!

    Well that statement right there says a lot.

  73. vava says:

    I’m not sad they are breaking up. Good for him and the kids to get some relief from this nutcase. Now if a certain young British royal couple follows this lead, I’ll be elated.

  74. Size Does Matter says:

    The most surprising thing to me is that Kaiser was able to find two photos of them together. Seriously, it would be a bummer to go to all of those events solo. I guess the privacy didn’t help after all.

  75. valiantgirl says:

    This makes me sad. Anytime you have a couple that’s been together as long as they have it’s sad. They weren’t married for two months it was 10 years.

  76. bobbisue says:

    I’m getting tired so I keep reading “Unconscious Coupling.” Is that a thing too? Like “when did we start dating? I don’t remember getting married…”

  77. Ally8 says:

    As soon as I read the news on the DM site, I thought of you, Celebitchy peeps!

    A gossip goldmine just opened.

    • kibbles says:

      Hehe. So true. This is going to be one of the biggest gossip stories of 2014. Every year there are a few jewels that satisfy our love of celebrity gossip and this divorce is one of them.

  78. Caribbean says:

    I find it fascinating that the very people that hate Kim K cover because she is not ‘upper crust’ enough, are the same people that hate Goop because she is ‘upper crust’ ALL WEIRD

    • No one hates the Vogue cover because Kim K isn’t ‘upper crust’–we hate it because she’s done absolutely NOTHING to earn her fame–except by screwing…whether it be a sex tape or a legitimate famous person (kanye). She has not evolved in any way past that sex tape–has no talent or business skill AT ALL. She got the cover because Anna Wintour is on her way out, and wanted to screw with Vogue. That’s it. And it’s rather telling that Kanye had to be on the cover with her, for her to even get it.

      Goop is just so out of touch–I wouldn’t even describe it as hate. But she just seems like she is so needy for attention, and is just a snob. I hardly think about her ever. She’s not even all that interesting as a gossip figure–excepting now, of course.

    • Emily C. says:

      I don’t hate the Kim K cover. I think she belongs on Vogue. It is hardly a magazine about substance. Kim has always struck me as annoying and airheaded, but basically harmless.

      Goop is another story. She tries to tell people how to live, right down to telling them what to eat, and her advice is phenomenally unhealthy. I think she is also stupider than Kim, though I think Kim is rather dumb. But Goop is really, really, REALLY stupid.

    • Esmom says:

      I think people loathe KK because she’s never demonstrated any sort of talent to warrant her level of fame. Goop, on the other hand, maybe be disliked by many (I’m not a hater) but at least she has an actual, legit film career. Despite her family connections, I’m not sure she would have been so famous without demonstrating any actual talent, she just would have been your average Hollywood offspring.

  79. alexc says:

    Wow, so even perfect people with perfect butts don’t ultimately have perfect lives, who knew! Maybe through her public uncoupling she’ll learn a little humility, a much more attractive trait than she realizes.

  80. hmmm says:

    I’m too late at the party and haven’t read the comments yet, but haven’t many commenters on this site been suspecting this very thing for quite some while? It’s really been so obvious. Not a surprise.

    On the other hand, respecting their privacy? Seriously? This is so standard and so unhelpful as a statement.

  81. Mar says:

    I think she gave an honest explanation and I think she wants to seem more approachable and that’s why it’s so wordy.
    I also knew something was up because she has not been hanging with BFF Beyoncé lately.

    These 2 lasted way longer than I thought they would.

  82. lisa2 says:

    So is tonight the night she is on Glee again. I wonder if this will help or hurt the ratings.

    Why is Brad being brought up. That connection was over 14 years ago. OVER and DONE. Brad said when it is over it is over and he doesn’t look back.

  83. Snappyfish says:

    He always looked like he loathed the very thought of her

  84. Casey says:

    I thought they’d really stick it out, living separate lives but maintaining the appearance of being married, and I think Gwyneth would have done that. I’ve actually always felt sorry for Gwyneth choosing to be married to Chris. This is a man who wouldn’t even be photographed with his wife years into their marriage. He would literally sprint down the street to avoid their photograph being taken, for god’s sake. No matter how insufferable Gwyneth is (and she is, I’m not a super fangirl or anything), that’s shitty. I always felt that she loved Chris more than he loved her, and the last few years have been about getting his attention after he cheated with Kate Bosworth and Natalie Imbruglia. At least Gwyneth makes an effort, even though she’s cringe worthy and ridiculous.

    I hope they can both move on to more suitable partners now.

  85. Damaris says:

    The way Goop portrays herself in public … I can’t understand why any man would find her emotionally or physically attractive. She seems wrapped up in herself and her life. I can’t imagine that she or Chris have an active sex life. I don’t see her being “in love”. Goop seems frigid to me. News of their separation comes as no surprise.

    • kibbles says:

      She appears cold and I also find her to be completely unsexy. She’s nice looking but nothing special among all the other rich vanilla women you can find in the Hamptons or LA. However, if she is so frigid, why are there so many rumors about her affairs since the time she dated Brad Pitt? If these rumors are true, Paltrow likes to sleep around and cheat on her partners. So there might be a freaky side to her that is masked by her public persona.

  86. ERICA says:

    I think it’s sad. and I feel badly for them. I don’t refer to her as “GOOP” and I don’t think she looks down at the rest of us as peasants and I don’t think nitpicking every chosen word from what must have been a very difficult announcement to make is cool.

    • Moi says:

      Great post.

    • Snowpea says:

      Er, she refers to herself as Goop, dear.

      “Some years ago, Gwyneth Paltrow explained what GOOP means in an interview with USA Today:

      “It is a nickname, like my name is G.P., so that is really where it came from. And I wanted it to be a word that means nothing and could mean anything.” “

      • ERICA says:

        right. I get that. I somehow don’t think she says it with the same degree of disdain that’s so recklessly leveled at her. I believe that so much that has been said and written about her has been taken out of context and really hate seeing people deriving some sort of sick satisfaction at her expense

  87. Moi says:

    I am about to be divorced. I think they should have written “What is about to transpire is………. #noneofyourfknbusiness#”. How celebs stay sane at times is beyond me. Commenters with “she is this, she is that”, “he is this, he is that”, “so and so cheated”. We are not there experiencing this. They are. I would give you all a big Johnny Cash FU middle finger. Divorce is devastating. Even if you are the one who wanted the divorce, it is an emotional roller coaster of nothing good. What’s important is that they both find happiness again, and that their kiddos can transition well.

    • Ally8 says:

      I wish you great courage in going through this painful time. It is a death of a dream — a certain vision of the future — and very difficult to go through even if you’re the one who decided to call it off.

      That said, I imagine you weren’t born and third base (mom the actress, dad the director, Uncle Steven casting you in movies, and filching scripts from Winona) and then started a website telling people how they, too, might hit a triple if they starved themselves enough and spent enough money on overpriced goods. Hence the schadenfreude.

    • Helvetica says:

      Moi–I have been through a divorce and it sucks. I wish you well. I promise, it gets better with time.

  88. Sal says:

    What took them so long? Its obvious they’ve been unhappy for years and years. When you have a man that is seemingly embarrassed and ashamed to be seen in his wife’s presence, obviously something is wrong.

  89. Emily C. says:

    “Conscious uncoupling”?! FFS. She even has to call her divorce something different in order for it to be better than anyone else’s. While actually being supremely stupid, as it doesn’t mean anything at all.

    I do not feel bad for her. I do not feel bad for him. I feel bad for the kids, but then they might be better off without living in a home with parents who have a strained marriage. And hopefully Chris will let them eat like normal human beings when they’re with him.

    Also, I think their marriage has actually been over for years. I’m guessing this decision is because one of them now wants to marry someone else. That, or he found out something about her that humiliated him too much to keep up the cover.

  90. Tammy says:

    I do feel for Gwyneth. It’s a difficult enough situation, without having to explain it to the world and listen to the commentary. I read an interview with her, not too long ago, where she was talking about compromise in marriag She said it can sometimes be difficult living with a “moody musician”. She said tht Chris must listen top music in complete silence, which can be difficult with small children in the hhouse Of course, they are rich enough to build him numerous rooms to listen to music in. Gwyneth can be holier-than-thou, but Chris seems like a bit of a tool also.

  91. Casey says:

    I also think it won’t be too much of adjustment for the kids because Chris and Gwyneth have basically been separated for a while. Even when their marriage was happy they would often be working in separate places, or Chris was away on tour. I’ll bet Apple and Moses are accustomed to their dad not being around. At least Gwyneth seems like a very dedicated and involved mother.

  92. mimif says:

    Totally going to finish this bottle of Pinot and *un*conciously uncouple with (with?) my boyfriend tonight. Wait, how do you even use this verbage? I need a shot of organic coconut oil stat!

  93. Hissyfit says:

    I bet their kids are looking forward for daddy time where they can finally eat normal foods.

  94. lc says:

    I was thinking about Madonna too, as well as Demi Moore. The crazy fads, Kabbalistic healing, red strings, leaches, HGH shots and who knows what else. Husbands run for the hills upon reaching their mid-thirties and becoming self-aware. Both found younger women to have kids with and never looked back.

    • Meme says:

      Who could live with women like that? My SO would leave if I only ate twigs and berries and exercised 14 hours a day.

  95. Quinn says:

    Interesting- I thought that Martin had been looking decidedly HAPPY in recent photos! Now I know why…

    • Esmom says:

      I kinda wondered what was up with him, too. He did seem uncharacteristically upbeat and visible.

  96. dorothy says:

    Sad. I hate when any family breaks up.

  97. eliza says:

    Unlike some, I take no delight in the end of a marriage. They have two kids and regardless of how people feel about Paltrow, she and Chris are human beings and after 10 yrs it has to be a difficult decision to come to.

  98. Mrs. Darcy says:

    Well you can’t say they didn’t try. It is too bad because they seemed like they got through the bumpy period a few yrs ago. They seem to be a united front for the kids anyway which is the main thing. I don’t wish “conscious uncoupling” (OH Gwyneth, even in d-i-v-o-r-c-e you are precious) on any couple though so take no particular delight in this. Gwyneth has been pretty open in interviews about her marriage not being smooth sailing so it’s not like she put out a false image of domestic bliss. He seems like a pain in the a*se, his band is crap, and I’m sure Gwyneth will land a hottie. I don’t see her going the old billionaire route at all but I could be wrong.

  99. OKP says:

    They put up quite a good Facade. Expecting the same from the Jolie-Pitts soon. You can only put up a Facade so long before d other party suddenly has it up to here!

    • Zwella Ingrid says:

      Just curious why you think the Jolie-pitts are done for. I read someone else comments along those lines recently. Is something going on that I’m missing?

    • tracking says:

      Well, I think in both cases the heat evident in the first years isn’t apparent anymore. But isn’t that the case with most long-term couples?

  100. Gal says:

    Maybe Apple and Moses can go to Disneyland with Chris and have a hot dog or some nachos.

    • Mrs. Darcy says:

      Oh you know Daddy is carting their butts to McDonald’s on the weekends now! Gwyneth will probably have him sign court documents promising not too though!

  101. tracking says:

    It seems like a classic opposites attracted hard at the beginning, then found no common ground to make it work. Imagine that scenario with entitled narcissists to boot. Think she hung in there to the 10 year mark as strategy. Like Tiffany said upthread, rich to begin with, she will now be extraordinarily rich thanks to Chris. And now she’ll get the freedom and PR for dating she’s probably wanted for a long time. Poor little kids.

  102. Meme says:

    She’s insufferable and another one desperate to be perceived as sexy and beautiful and youthful. She should marry Vadge and they look ridiculous together with their ritualistic health/beauty fads attempting to look like twenty something year olds.

  103. J.Mo says:

    I like both of them and I think they’re treated unfairly because they’re so damn rich. I think we’ll see them be friends and I won’t be surprised if they reunite.

  104. Ari says:


  105. dahlianoir says:

    Not enough coconut oil I guess :/

  106. Helvetica says:

    I am surprised. I thought these two would stick it out, no matter what. If the rumors are true, he has been cheating on her forever with many women; and she cheated on him with whoever the Vanity Fair article was eluding to him. If that is true, ten it seems Chris can dish it out but not take it. I love Coldplay and I love Gwenyth Paltrow. These two never famewhored their relationship which I really respect. I have never understood why she gets so much hatred. I’d rather read about her, a real celebrity, versus some Kartrashian. People are celebrating saying that she had it coming it because she always says her life is so great but she has repeatedly said in interviews that marriage isn’t easy/is hard. Divorce sucks and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I do feel like Chris did act like a jerk to her at times whenever he’d run and hide from the paps after one of her events. It’s like he didn’t want to be seen with her. That would hurt, as a wife. They went to the Golden Globes together so that makes me think they were at least attempting to reconcile. My bet is that he hooks up with some 20 year old model/actress and will have a mid-life crisis and she will go on to win another Oscar and/or marry some billionaire or hook u with some oil tycoon/Greek heir. I think they will keep the divorce classy/out of the media and not slag one another (good).

    No shade from me for them. Divorce is not fun to experience, it hurts, especially after ten years together. I wish them both well.

    Also, it seems like Lainey doesn’t know what she is talking about. She was always saying how solid they are.

  107. Ella says:

    Separations are always sad when there’s younger children involved, otherwise I don’t think this is really big news. It is Hollywood after all and 10 years is a pretty good run in that industry sadly. I just wish Gwyneth would make just one down to earth statement and put herself in the exact same category as millions of other couples not together anymore. Why not just say “separated” or “broken up” and leave it at that but “consciously uncouple?” Really? So just curious if two people can “unconsciously uncouple”? Oops, we uncoupled….

  108. Yup says:

    “conscious uncoupling”….what would be an “unconscious uncoupling”??

    She sounds like a high school kid trying to use adjectives in an essay to sound smarter.

  109. Bella says:

    Also I wonder why she decided to announce it on her website instead of a publicist. Its a very obvios way of free publicity and a bit contrived: her anouncment and then the mumbo jumbo comentary of “experts” about counscious uncoupling generated a lot of free publicity on her website, it even crashed yesterday. And now gazillion articles all over the web are quoting it and mentioning the goop site.

  110. Oompa says:

    “…we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will REMAIN separate.”

    Well there’s a Freudian slip if I ever saw one.

  111. Good Luck to them!