I have no memory of Jessie J ever talking about her bisexuality, but that’s possibly because I’ve never paid much attention to Jessie. I like her – she’s British, she’s got a great, powerhouse pop/dance voice and she has, like, compulsively bad hairstyles and questionable style. That’s really all I ever knew about her. But in 2011, she said in an interview that she identified as bisexual. Only now she’s saying that it was just a “phase” and that she’s all about the dong. She’s 26 years old now – so she would have been 23-ish when she said the bisexuality stuff.
Jessie J first revealed her apparent sexuality during an interview in 2011.
“Yes, I’ve dated girls and I’ve dated boys – get over it,” she said.
But now, the former Voice UK judge has decided to shrug off the sexuality label, “stop talking about it completely” and find herself “a husband”.
“For me, it was a phase,” she told The Mirror. “But I’m not saying bisexuality is a phase for everybody. I feel that if I continue my career not speaking on it, I almost feel more of a liar than if I didn’t. I just want to be honest, and it’s really not a big deal. Who cares?”
On coming out as bisexual previously, she said: “I did talk about it, and I was open about it, and I do support being lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender – love who you want. That’s what I’m doing. I don’t regret anything I ever said, but I never knew back then that whatever I said became a fact that I couldn’t change. I’m just so bored of it, and that’s kind of it – I want to stop talking about it completely now and find myself a husband. It’s a true struggle. All the chick flicks that didn’t make sense to me, I now understand – Sex and the City is real!”
She went on to brush off giving her sexuality a name completely, saying: “I’m not anything. I’m aware of who I want to be and I want to marry a man. That’s it.”
“I fancy/date/love men and only men,” she tweeted at one follower.
Jessie J has fought hard to dismiss reports that she used her bisexuality to sell records in the past. She was also forced to deny rumours that she was a lesbian after she was falsely “outted” in an unauthorised biography. In the book, entitled Jessie J: Who’s Laughing Now, Chloe Govan wrote that Jessie went along with the charade of bisexuality because she was scared of losing her record deal with Universal.
“Jessie might have been with boys in the past – but she is 100 per cent gay,” it read. “Jessie was openly lesbian and didn’t hide it. She was advised not to come out, though. Certain people thought being bi was trendy, exotic and a fashion statement. It would increase her allure. There are so many homophobes out and there were fears of a career-damaging backlash.”
Jessie countered the claims on Twitter, posting: “Ha! Thanks for writing yet another boring untrue story. I thought I was still dating Tinie (Tempah), NO Ellie G (Goulding), NO Mark Wright….bla bla bla! #cantkeepup #noneofitstrue”
Well… from what I know of Jessie (not much, admittedly), I tend to think that if she was a lesbian, she would just BE a lesbian. If she was bisexual, she would own that too. Maybe for her, the “bisexuality” claim really was authentic in the moment and she “grew out” of that “phase.” Maybe she was just feeling experimental in her early 20s and out of that experimentation grew her solid belief that she’s actually straight.
And that sort of brings me to the larger point I wanted to discuss: is there a sense of betrayal in the LGBT community when a celebrity claims bisexuality only to later disavow those claims? I’m also thinking of Tom Daley and his recent comments that he is, as I assumed all along, gay rather than bisexual. In Tom Daley’s case, I think there was a “Ricky Martin Syndrome” about the whole thing, where Tom had a lot of female fans and he didn’t want to alienate them, so he said he was bisexual to ease them into the news… only to come out, months later, as a gay man. Is that any different than what Jessie J is doing? Is it different because she’s “come back” into the heteronormative fold?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
If it was “just a phase” then she’s not really bisexual, she was looking for attention. You don’t just grow out of your sexuality, it’s a part of you. (of course this is just my opinion)
It’s my opinion also
That is my understanding, as well. I think you’re born with your sexual orientation. It’s not a phase.
Nah. We are still understanding sexuality. A few decades ago we didnt even think of sexuality as an identity let alone a fixed one. And further, for whatever reason there isnt much research around female sexuality. We do know that there are major differences between when male and female orientations develop and what parts of the brain are involved. There also seem to be fewer “true lesbians” than “true gay men”.
What I’m saying is be careful not to transplant ideas around male homosexuality into the female theories. Its quite possible that female sexuality shifts more than the male one.
Interesting point, Omega. I have a gay nephew and a lesbian niece. I have known my nephew was gay since he was about 9. I found out my niece was a lesbian when she was 25, and you could have knocked me over with a feather. I never thought about why that was, and I have certainly (unintentionally) been lumping the two experiences together and thinking how did I not know? I’m not sure that’s exactly what you meant, but it has given me lots of food for thought. Thank you.
Sexuality is very complicated and being bisexual doesn’t have to be 50/50 in terms of preferences. She may be 90% straight with just bisexual tendencies. Who you sleep with does not determine your sexuality – that is just a physical act. Who you are attracted to is within and only you can know!
She’s not 90% though.
““I fancy/date/love men and only men,” ”
MEN AND ONLY MEN. 100%.
Agreed. She was curious not truly bisexual.
It’s frustrating because it gives the impression that there’s truth to being able to “cure” gay people with therapy. Or that being lgb is a choice or something to grow out of
So I wouldn’t say it’s a betrayal but it is insulting, especially how she worded it.
I’m in a monogamous marriage with my husband but I still identify as bisexual. I’m still attracted to women but I’m in love with a man.
I don’t think it’s insulting because she clarified how it was for her personally and also stated that it is not that way for others. It’s her personal journey therefore it is not an insult to the LGBT community. She stated her support for the LGBT community so I have no shade for her. I think it’s unfair to make each person who identifies (or did) with the LGBT community a representative for the entire community. It’s an insult to assume every LGBT person is the same when they are a group of individuals as diverse as any other.
I remember learning in a college psych class that women’s sexuality is more fluid than men’s. All sexuality is on a sliding scale but women are more able to move along that scale at different stages of their lives but it doesn’t make where they were or where they are less legitimate because of it. It’s not phases, our brains just aren’t as rigid in that respect than a man’s.
It is insulting. It’s massively insulting to anyone who struggles coming to terms with or being accepted for their sexuality whenever a fledgling celebrity tosses bisexuality claims around to garner attention. Especially if that celebrity actually seemed to be earnest in their claims and someone took solace in the fact that a famous person had similar experiences. It’s not okay.
It is incredible insulting for LGBT, and also fodder for the Religious Right.
100% – I think it was just for attention – her whole schtick when she started out was very baby butch – see ‘Do It Like a Dude’ video if you want proof. she’s just another one of these popstars that uses ‘girl power!’ and ‘I’m a feminist’ and just NO. Making a record with sleaze of the millenium Robin Thicke and now this – whatever it is you’re selling, Jessie, I ain’t buying.
Actually very few pop stars identify as feminist – there’s still stigma attached to that word. Girl power songs are stupid, I agree, but I am pretty sick of almost everyone saying “feminism – NO.”
If you’re bi then surely you will always like both men and women? You could go years liking one gender and then still fall for someone of the opposite gender. If suddenly you rule out liking the other gender ever again then if was just a phase.
Alan Cumming was once married to a woman—as well as being linked to numerous other females—and now he’s married to a man. According to Wikipedia (the most *trusted* source around), Cumming is quoted as saying, “…that he considers himself bisexual, ‘although the pendulum has obviously swung.'” Just thought I’d share. I immediately thought of him when I read this story.
By “phase,” I assume she meant to say “exploitative marketing ploy,” right?
haha, ding-ding-ding!
+473
According to the gossip garnered by the Sixlets (one loves JJ, one can’t stand her so there’s gossip competition between the Sixer scions here) – she split from a long term girlf a while back and found God in the aftermath of the break-up. And this is why she’s gone straight. God said so.
I’m mediating with the exploitative marketing ploy argument!
Interesting.
More than anything, I hope that the corpse lipstick is also a ‘phase’ and that god told her it was ugly. Because it’s really ugly.
Ha ha Kiddo, it is pretty bad.
I’m more fascinated by the Sixlets’ gossip obsession than with Jessie’s decision to either a) go with the religion and denounce her bisexuality or b) step away from her marketing ploy. Do they usually split their celebrity feelings, or is it rare for them to be on opposite sides? Mediating gossip squabbles sounds like fun. [We’re thinking about an (adopted) sibling for MiniTarheelBuckeye so I find myself obsessed with sibling relationships lately. Only child issues.]
I would say that the Sixlets enjoy bickering over trivial (that they pretend are earth-shatteringly important) things – silly celebrities, soccer teams, is it better to know the flags of all the countries of the world or the entire character list for Lord of the Rings. They take opposing positions on purpose to irritate the other. It’s a lot of background noise going on – which is usually funny but sometimes tiresome if, like me, you work from home and it’s the school holidays (as it is now)! They rarely have genuine/serious arguments – I would love to say that’s testament to my wondrous parenting skills but I think it’s actually more a case of luck over judgement!
Haha!
Completely!
Maybe you don’ t ‘grow out’ of your sexuality but you certainly grow into it. Life itself is about experimenting and experiencing and evolving and constantly rediscovering yourself as you grow and mature. Whats stupid about this story is that any human even has to clarify their sex life to the public at all.
Being homo/bi sexual is not just “sex life”. Neither is it a “lifestyle”.
Yeah this^
Thank you, I have said it before I hate it when people call being gay a lifestyle. I tend to not like the term gay community as well. If there’s a gay community then I’m guessing there must be a straight community also.
Gay community.. like they all live in a culs-de-sac in a gated area.
100% this. Thanks.
This exactly. Yes!
Her “bisexuality” was a RP stunt above all
Sexuality is on a spectrum, and I don’t think we can expect everyone’s preferences to stay static indefinitely, but to call it a ‘phase’ is unfortunate phrasing.
She’s entitled to define herself however she likes, but I don’t think a more delicate use of words would go amiss here. When used in reference to sexuality, I never associate ‘phase’ with anything particularly positive, but perhaps that’s just me; one of my friends was repeatedly told by his father – who was in permanent denial over the fact that my friend was attracted to men – that he wasn’t *really* gay, it’s just a phase he’ll grow out of.
And whilst I appreciate that we grow as people and learn, to say we ‘grew out of’ a time where we were attracted to x/y/z gender sort of insinuates that it was a series of childish moments that didn’t really matter.
I might be overthinking this.
I really don’t think you are, in fact I think you’re right about everything you said. Nicely explained.
You’re not. If I had a dollar every time I heard “it’s just a phase” thrown out in regards to someone’s sexuality, I’d be rich. Treating sexuality like that really bothers me.
Yeah, it’s the ‘phase’ thing that’s the tricky part here. If she’d said ‘This was absolutely my identity at the time, and it was valid, but now I feel differently’, then that’d be fine, but saying it was something temporary isn’t as good.
+1
Although I think a lot of people just date/hook up while in their early 20s just for the experience and then call themselves bisexual because it’s fashionable or at least no longer taboo. As you age, you figure things out or realize how unserious the things that you took so seriously in college really were.
I agree. There really aren’t “categories” of sexuality per say, it is indeed a spectrum. Like if you identify as straight you’re not automatically 100% straight and that’s that. Maybe you are, but maybe you aren’t but choose to identify as straight. I think it’s possible to move along the spectrum to some degree as you age. Who you’re attracted to can change as you age, so why not how you identify your sexuality? It’s such a personal, dynamic thing and having all-encompassing labels doesn’t help.
I’m more inclined to believe that her bisexuality announcement was more of a PR stunt than anything else. Someone thought, “Oh, you dated a woman? Great! You’re bisexual, now get out there and sell some records!” And calling it a “phase” puts it on par with things like raccoon eyeliner or torn clothing. Something transient that you can decide to change at any time. No, sexual identity is not a “phase”.
I think you explained it perfectly, Amelia.
I completely agree with Jen’s take. I don’t take issue with fluctuating sexuality, I take issue with how she explained her experience. It doesn’t sound genuine at all to me.
Pretty much my thoughts on the matter. Really well put.
So, not only is she backtracking, she has to make the point that she is very, very straight??
*sigh*
Way to punctuate a PR move.
I remember the quote about how she was a lesbian masquerading as bisexual for better record sales.
I seem to recall that she then came out as gay. With no bisexuality qualification.
I feel oddly offended for the gay community even though I also understand what she’s saying. I suppose it’s because she allowed a conversation around her that implied that her sexuality, when it was perceived to be gay, was something she should hide or qualify. And in the pop world, that usually means she’s hiding or qualifying so that she doesn’t hurt her sales.
She fooled me, I really belived she was bisex ( unlike Lady Gaga). I even thought she’s more on lesbian side. Oh well, maybe she change her mind again.
I don’t know much about her or her sexual orientation but that is not the face of a 26 year old.
It could be it really was an experimental stage and she labeled herself as bi to garner some PR attention (though I don’t recall anyone caring). And after some experimenting she decided she’d rather be honest with everyone (which I still don’t think anyone will much care about).
Speaking as a bisexual person: it’s not so much betrayal as a resigned sigh.
Many bisexual people cope with prejudice about their sexuality from both straight and LGBT communities, because of the pervasive belief that it is an experimental phase and that eventually one will ‘settle down’ to a more conclusively one-gendered attraction.
Everybody has their own journey, and bisexuality can be a part of the development of your sexual identity as it evolves into different forms. However, I do wish that the famous would be very careful about proclaiming themselves as concretely bisexual FOREVER, purely because repudiating it later, for being either straight or gay, makes life a bit more difficult for people who maintain both-gender attraction throughout their lives. Doesn’t matter which camp they fall into, the feeling of being invalidated is the same.
I also feel a bit sorry for her, and wonder how much of this was maintaining a wild, crazy controversial image.
Also: trendy bisexuality gives me a bit of a headache, to be honest. Visibility is fantastic, but claiming you’re part of a minority because you think it might get you some attention for a while is not.
All of this. ^^^^^^^ And the fact that I am married to a man does not change the fact that I am pansexual. It just means that this is the person I fell in love with and married. If he had been Joan instead of Jon it would have made no difference.
I don’t know why you guys are claiming people come out as Bi as a “pr stunt”. Bisexuality is not exactly looked fondly upon, with people being labelled as promiscuous or lots of people thinking it’s not a real thing. If anything, it’s negative PR.
@karen
bisexuality makes straight women look like they are into threesome, and makes gay men more of a men and less of a wimp. Oh, and it makes popstar seem more edgy.
Someone please reassure me that white lipstick is not coming back. Please.
there is a difference between being bisexual and being a bisexual pop star. the first means that you are attracted to men and women and the latter means you are attracted to attention.
My problem is she built her entire fanbase on the “fact” that she is bisexual…even more to the lesbian side at times. She lived for over three years with a woman, so I am not really sure if that was simply a phase. After she broke up with her girlfriend, she wrote L.O.V.E. and dedicated it to a girl who she is in love with that was in the audience and did not want to point her out so people would not know who she was. That girl was not her ex, because everyone knew her ex since pictures were out all over the web with them together. Now, to come out arrogantly, and defiantly and reducing this to a “phase” is crude and very immature of her. As a matter of fact, she did not even have to say anything about it. She could have continued dating her man, and when it came out it did. She claimed to be bisexual anyway, so she could have gone either way and no one would care. Now, she has reduced and qualified her talents to merely her sexual orientation. Not too long ago she was tweeting (I think Ariana Grande) “that her white dress was nice but it would look better on her hotel floor…” As far as I am concerned, she needs to focus on her music. Her second album was a joke, and she is not making it any easier for herself by alienating some of her fanbase. Also, she came into the business at a much older age than some, she seems to be a bit immature for age.
A lot of these kids looked up to her, and it’s a shame that she did not choose her wording more carefully.
I wish she hadn’t said “phase.” Even if it is a good descriptor for her own experience, it might reinforce some wrong beliefs in people’s minds.
I am completely willing to give Jessie J. the benefit of the doubt here. She could have been questioning, and/or she could have really wanted to be bi but when it came down to it she realized she wasn’t. I’ve known people who have had tremendous crushes on queer culture or who fell in love with the idea of being bisexual, and then eventually had to admit that they were straight after all. Even David Bowie, who by sheer number and variety of conquests alone should be classified as omnisexual at this point, sort of said that was his experience. (And we all knew the four-year-lesbian in college, am I right?)
It’s a spectrum, and we all fall into it somewhere on different places.
It may have been a marketing ploy, but I’m not going to jump and devalue and dismiss Jessie’s experience and self-identification out of hand. As I do with, ugh, Katy Perry and her stupid song. I totally dismiss that one.
I wanted to give her the benefit of a doubt, but I cannot. She really should have known better, or consult a publicist. I feel like this was done to get people talking about her. Right after she said this, she released snippets of new music she wants to put out in America. She does not realize that there are young girls, and guys having sexual identity issues, and a lot of them do look up to her. At 26 years old, she should know better. Why make it a big deal? What do you have to prove? Her immaturity has permeated through her music and although the girl can sing, her new songs do not reflect her talent. My advice to Jessie J, is to focus on releasing good new music, because when Adele drops her new masterpiece of soul lifting music…it’s gonna be like “Jessie J who?” LOL.
There are lots of studies that point to sexual orientation not being necessarily fixed, that it’s more fluid than we sometimes think.
“26,” eh? Haha
Her music is really annoying I couldn’t care less who she sleeps with and i wish she would just shut up about it. Especially since she is all over the place with it.
I don’t think it’s the same as with Tom daly he is only 19 years old. At 26 you Are way past college age so I don’t buy the experimentation excuse. I wouldn’t say its comparable to going from gay to straight. The way I see it the gay community is a minority every celeb that comes out matters to kids and young people who struggle with these issues. It seems very flippant of her to describe it as a phase. She could at least have chosen words without such a negative connotation.
Bisexuality is not a f****** stepping stone and nothing drives me more nuts then when people use it like that. You can BE bisexual and have a husband. You can be attracted to women and not end up with one longterm.
It’s things like this that make it so hard for both the mainstream public AND the LGBT community to take bisexuality seriously. As someone who is openly bisexual, this is more than a little frustrating.
Tl;dr STOP
I don’t really care. To each his own.
Sexuality and sexual identity is fluid and can change over time.. and that should be ok. She doesn’t have to stay with the ‘bisexual’ label if she doesn’t feel that way. Gosh who knows what they want at 23… or 26 for that matter. I can also tell you that the lg community is not especially supportive of bisexuals.
There was actually a fascinating cover article in the New York Times magazine about bisexuality and studies done to devise ways to indicate whether a person has bisexual tendencies or not. A lot of people still don’t believe bisexuals actually exist, that they must favor one sex more than the other and whichever that sex is makes them gay or straight. The entire article delved into that and it was really interesting. You can probably find it on the NYT magazine website. I recommend it!
FFS. Thanks so much to Jessie J for doing her part to propagate bisexual erasure, however inadvertently.
If you’re in the public eye and you aren’t 100% sure if you’re bi, kindly figure it out FOR SURE before speaking publicly. This kind of scenario does far more harm than good to the bisexual community who already get more than enough grief from ignorant people either side of the straight/gay fence.