Gwyneth Paltrow was in Hong Kong yesterday for an event at the Landmark Mandarin Oriental Hotel. It’s not important what the event was. I’m assuming that for Goop, the event was “A cool six figures in her bank account.” You can see some photos here – hand to God, her boobs look bigger. Did Goop get a breakup boob job?
Anyway, there’s a funny story in this week’s Star Mag. Apparently, Gwyneth has already made up her mind to write a book about Consciously Uncoupling. It’s not that off-the-wall –after all, Goop is a bestselling author… of cookbooks which read like creepy pro-ana blogs. Why not a creepy breakup book? Just imagine all of the nonsense that will come pouring out of Gwyneth’s ghostwriter!
It was the Goopy phrase heard ‘round the world: Conscious Uncoupling. Soon the term, which Gwyneth Paltrow used to describe her split from Chris Martin, will be splashed across the cover of her self-help book about the art of divorce. Gwyneth first learned about the concept from her mentor, Dr. Habib Sadeghi, and now hopes to revamp the way people end their marriages.
“In typical Gwyneth fashion, she thinks she will eventually become the expert on divorce and how to do it in a better way,” says an insider, adding that Gwyneth is even hoping to get Chris to write the forward for the book!
[From Star Magazine, print edition]
I know many of you will dismiss it out of hand because it’s Star, but in my opinion, there’s something here. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if Gwyneth was already shopping this book proposal around to publishers.
Meanwhile, you can read this week’s Goop-letter here. It’s all about toxic chemicals in everyday products. It’s a serious issue, for sure, but I couldn’t help staring at the new Restorsea ads that have cropped up, or the blatant shilling for the Goop Store and all of that. After reading that story about Goop-as-a-tax-shelter, I really can’t look at Gwyneth’s little side project the same way.
Photos courtesy of Goop’s IG, Getty and WENN.
I’m sure she will… Gwyneth is just the posh version of Tori Spelling – no better, no worse.
ha, I’ve never thought of it that way but you’re right.
Oh burrrn…but yeah you’re right, even down to the hair. Also: BEWBS!
Who, in their right minds, would buy that drivel?
Of course, the woman who preached to us all about how to have the perfect marriage is now going to preach about how to have the perfect divorce! You really can have it all, you know! Oh, wait, you mean the two things are completely contradictory and she’s full of hot air? And she writes cookbooks while advocating that people fast? Tax shelter BRILLIANCE!
I would, if I needed many laughs.
“Like finding the perfect jeans for a bottom that’s just not working, or vetting the guest list for your next ocean-facing garden fete (making sure everyone’s Our Sort, and ready to say, “why yes, I’ll buy another fasting cookbook!”), uncoupling is a mindful task. More lasting than waxing (see our favorite emergency WIY beach kit; scented with six natural grilled almonds, $345!) and really just as important to how you feel, uncoupling done well is a feast worthy of respect and best undertaken in new shoes ($550) and a lavender oil-enriched Sea Island Cotton dress ($2300). So have the staff start pumping the soy party balloons: we’re uncoupling consciously, and it’s going to burn 1456 calories before we’re done — that’s a week’s’ worth of hideous peasant fat, so you’re beach body-ready the moment you’re de-nooosed! Put a smile on your face (nitrifying all-over gloss, $365) and a country song in your heart ($18), and do what everyone’s doing now — consciously uncouple with style! We recommend beginning your I’m Conscious Uncoupling Journal ($425 in pink, green or sky blue leather with acid-free rice paper and photo sleeve) by making some personal notes on our first study session chapter, entitled The First Conscious Clue: I Like Myself Best, Why Don’t You?” 10% of proceeds will go to making Conscious Uncoupling by candlelight legal in all 45 states.
@Liberty: you are brilliant. That is all.
@Liberty – I hear GOOP is hiring…. That was spot on!
Yay, Liberty strikes again! 🎉
@Kiddo-you know some idiotic segment of the population will buy it..ugh I can just see it now “After you have fasted for 3 days, you and your Uncoupling Partner will share a piece of Peruvian grapefruit rind, whilst positioning yourselves lotus style pointing east, for that is the “uncoupling” direction”…blah, blah blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
@Liberty, so dead-on and hilarious. I suggest you submit it to The Onion.
haha, thank you! But seriously…..can you even imagine!!?!?
Funny because it’s true.
But also a bit weird, because both women grew up nouveau riche and privileged in Hollywood, didn’t they? And yet I, too, think of Gwyneth as upscale and Tori as downscale.
“both women grew up nouveau riche”
LOL, I don’t think you quite understand the meaning of nouveau riche!
Another way of wasting some really precious paper.
Think of all those trees that decades to become tall and wide and then they end up as paper for Goop’s book.
From now on any time i’ll feel down I’ll think of those trees to cheer myself up.
I don’t believe this is true. How could she write about a successful divorce when she isn’t even divorced yet? I could see this coming out in 2-4 years but not right now.
Her hair is so fried and gross. How can goopy not be able to fix it?
Goop can call her book ‘Split Ends’. That way, it can cover her break up and what happens when you constantly flat iron your hair.
Funny how actors today, do everything else except “act”
Yes. Her acting opportunities are drying up as she ages (and she won’t go her mom’s route and become a character actor or do theater – horrors! NOT FOR THE PRETTY PRINCESS) so she has to find something else to keep her hand in. And by “keeping her hand in,” I mean doing her usual “Learn from me, lowly peasants!” shtick.
Really, she’s becoming as insufferable and repulsive as Kate Gosselin, PMK and any Blohan.
blue marie, sing Goldie along with me:
Yeah, she’s so dull, come on rip her to shreds,
She’s so dull, come on rip her to shreds*…
*Not actually encouraging anyone to do this but, Oh, you know her, would you look at that hair…
Actually I think it’s great that this week’s GOOP is devoted to toxic chemicals in the products we use everyday. It would be easy to dismiss the subject by saying ‘Oh, here it is again, GOOP’s obsession with purity and cleanliness’, but here she has a good point. Toxic stuff is in many of the products we use everyday and the bad thing is governments don’t seem too motivated to do something about it (though it is a bit better here in Europe). I think the newsletter investigates the subject quite thoroughly and it also gives lots of tips. If you want to know more about the subject see last year’s documentary ‘The Human Experiment’, executive produced by Sean Penn.
I looked at the GOOP site, and I actually thought it had some good information on healthy cleaning product brands.
I’m sure she will write a book telling us how to consciously uncouple. Vom.
There is already a site out there, completely dedicated to revealing ingredients in make-up, and all kinds of products, also rating the toxicity and potential health threats. I don’t recall the name, but it has been around for years, and I’m sure she pilfered from it.
Environmental Working Group ewg.org. On a different note, i have a bone to pick with the beautycounter products goop mentions (her expert Greg Renfrew is the beauty counter founder). Not only are they sold by “representatives” (aka monetizing friendships), the lotions are in a plastic bottle that has a smaller plastic container inside (so it looks like you are buying more than you are). I broke into one when I was surprised no more product was coming out and felt I had been tricked.
Don’t mind if she got the information from elsewhere, she is bringing it to a wider audience by devoting space to it in her newsletter – good for her this time. Just hope that people won’t interpret it as another example of her obsession with purity, and dismiss it, because actually this is an important subject.
@Birdix, Thanks, yes!
@Calcifer, Wider audience? If she cared about educating readers, she’d post a link to the site, like excellent blogs do. I don’t know if she did that, because I don’t read her site; not interested. There are so many better places to get information.
Yes, posting a link is of course the right way to go about it when you get your information from elsewhere. But I’m sure the site you were thinking of is not the only one that gives information about toxic ingredients in cosmetics, there is much more information out there (like the film I saw last year). The important thing is that this problem is brought to people’s attention, so they can go and look for more information and do something about it. I still give GOOP credit for that, though I am no fan of hers by any means.
She did post a link to BeautyCounter, which Birdix found to be a ripoff, and EWG. Please tell me I’m not defending gooooooppp.
I know what you are saying. I am just of the mind that the very last place I go for news or critical information is a celebrity’s blog.
Yeah, I can’t argue with that.
Center for Environmental Health – ceh.org Much more worthy of attention than anything GOOP recycles for her own profit.
Would not surprise me.
I am so consciously uninterested in her.
+1 LOL!
What do u want to bet there is a chapter about how a juice fast and losing those extra pounds will help u heal from consciously uncoupling?
Twelve hours into my first and only attempt at a juice fast, I was so internsely grumpy that I saw the idea of consciously uncoupling flit across the usually adoring glance of Mr. birdix. Explained a lot to me about Goop.
Ha! Yeah fasting sucks.
Ha! I fear for the safety of anyone in my proximity should I ever try to juice.
I couldn’t do a juice fast. When I eat, food is afraid of me.
Juice fast? Juice is liquid sugar, the brain does not recognise it as food and so you will just want to eat more – it’s ridiculous to fast on it. I fast regularly on the 5:2 diet and it’s helped me lose a lot of weight – by eating Protein and vegetables and avoiding sugar. I’m trying to think of one good reason to fast on juice and the only one I can come up with is that so the person fasting can be a sanctimonius git to the vast majority of us who are just can’t do it because human biology gets in the way…
Birdix! 🙂 hilarious!!! Mr L is staring at me and asking why I am hooting.
Or how to turn a nasty divorce into a great weight loss! BARF
How is a juice fast supposed to be healthy? I just don’t understand this stuff. It’s like people going no carb and they just can’t understand what happened to their energy. Complex carbohydrates good, simple sugars bad. Juice, FFS.
She’s just started the divorce process and shes already an expert?
OF COURSE she is. was this even a question that she would?
snake oil schilling huckster.
too bad she doesn’t have enough material to write a book about her profession as an actor.
she could easily write “how to lose friends and influence nobody: how i irritated the world” or do a whole series of “being the best” like “being the best: irritating, insufferable, and impossible to please” “being the best: sanctimony as an art form”
I hope she writes it, the good people on this site need something to take the piss out of…her utter and total lack of self awareness/grasp of most people’s reality is always a good place to start.
Maybe I should have waited to read about Viola Davis combating child hunger last. Because this witch just makes me angry…and I never met her. She really can make your blood piss vinegar.
I don’t know about anyone else but I am tired of hearing the term “conscious uncoupling” when referring to a divorce. Why do we try to sugar coat things? Is she too good for the use of the word “divorce”?
It’s as if she thinks all other divorces are unconscious. She’s a moron.
Most of the anti-chemical stuff is being driven by people trying to sell something. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re all bad or wrong; without them, I wouldn’t have learned that the reason my scalp was dry and itchy after I washed my hair was that I was allergic to sulfates. However, there’s a difference between educating onesself about chemicals (and science generally) and deciding “zomg all chemicals are horrible! so I must buy this so-called natural stuff which cannot possibly be bad!”
The latter is the mindset people like Goop promote, and they do it purely to make money off people’s fear and ignorance. It’s pseudoscience and it’s dangerous. And Goop is a completely untrustworthy source on every level. She’s a con artist who shills for other con artists in every area of health, whether it’s food or exercise or psychology. Everything she does is done with an eye to her bank account.
This is a picture of one of the dresses she wore in China from Michael Kors collection.
http://runway-redcarpet.tumblr.com/post/83847949341/gwyneth-paltrow-wears-michael-kors-fall-2014-rtw#notes
While I agree her hair and make up looking very meh, I don’t get why people say she looks emaciated or even too thin. The model who wears the same dress looks thin but Goopy looks actually a bit chubby compared to her. The dress is OK, but the shoes Goop wore don’t go well with it and the dress looks also better with a belt.
Goop needs a better stylist!
Well said, Emily C. Why is Goop so money hungry? Isn’t she fabulously rich by most standards? What’s the desperation about? I’d honestly like to know.
She’s far from the first fabulously wealthy person to want to amass more wealth. Unlike Viola Davis, Goop doesn’t know anything beyond the constricted, anemic world of the ultra-rich, and in that world, the more money you have, the better you’re seen as being.