Lindsay Lohan tells the NYT that she’s preparing to do ‘Speed-the-Plow’ on stage


Here are some cracked-out photos of Lindsay Lohan at the Moschino show in London a few days ago. She’s been in London for months, y’all. If you live in America, I’m sure you’ve noticed that there’s been a precipitous drop-off in vodka-related injuries and that several nannies managed to cross the street without being run over by a crackhead driving a “borrowed” Lambo. If you’re in England, I’m sure you’ve noticed the stench of stale cigarettes, cheap booze and crack smoke wafting throughout the London streets. To you, my English friends, I apologize on behalf of America. Good luck and God speed and please don’t send her back to us.

Anyway, LL has been going out for a lot of fashion events this week in London, and at this Moschino show, she ended up chatting with a style reporter from the New York Times. The NYT notes that LL actually arrived on time for the show and sat in the front to support “her friend” designer Jeremy Scott. This is what happened:

“No, I don’t fly” for fashion shows, the actress Lindsay Lohan demurred when asked if she’d come to London just for the occasion. “Unless it’s Chanel.” She paused for further reflection: “Or Jeremy Scott!”

No air travel was necessary in this case. Ms. Lohan said that she has been in London for several months, preparing for a potential appearance in David Mamet’s “Speed-the-Plow” in the West End in November. “It’s the first time I’ve done a stage play or anything like that,” she said. “I’m nervous but I’m excited.”

Ms. Lohan was on hand to support Mr. Scott, a good friend. (Recalling a time that they worked together, shooting a cover for Paper Magazine, she said: “We did three days of shooting. When we shoot together, we always have to shoot for three days, because we have too much fun. We forget that we have to get work done.”) She was wearing Moschino, and said she’d recently bought a lot of it at Feathers, a Knightsbridge boutique. “I think he’s revived it,” she said of the brand.

She had no plans for any other London Fashion Week events.

“I’m going back to my West End world,” she said. “I’m a little overwhelmed. I haven’t done this — I haven’t really done the shows — in the last few years. But I live for fashion.”

[From The NY Times]

The UK papers have been saying for a while that LL was trying to beg for a stage role, but that she kept showing up late to all of her meetings and no one in the London theatre community takes her seriously, because why would they? So, what’s the verdict? Do you think Lindsay was just cracked out of her skull and blatantly lied about her “new gig” to a NYT reporter? Or do you think some poor shmuck hired Lindsay Lohan to do a play? I just don’t see how anyone (ANYONE) could believe that LL would show up on time… every night… for weeks on end. It’s not possible.

PS… She totally lied about Moschino being the only “fashion event” she attended. She’s been crashing fashion parties all week. Oh, and “I only fly for Chanel” – BITCH PLEASE. The narcissistic delusion is strong in this one.


Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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99 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan tells the NYT that she’s preparing to do ‘Speed-the-Plow’ on stage”

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  1. Dotty says:

    Such a lying mouth-breather. At least she’s not throwing peace signs or doing that finger-to-the-lip crap in these shots. That’s all I got.

    • Mmhmm says:

      Omg I can’t stand her, but I seriously think she looks ‘fresher’ in these pics. I mean, she still looks high as f— and bloated in the face, but she doesn’t look like a corpse anymore. Please stay in London and never come back.

      • Bread and Circuses says:

        No, you’re right. She’s got definition in her upper arms and is slimmer through the waist and hips.

        The Cracken has been hitting the gym.

      • diva says:

        I can’t stand her either. I like her lipstick though. Can anyone id it?

      • wiffie says:

        She gives me the ragies. BUT in the small thumbnail at the bottom, at the fashion show, it looks like she has a bob with some side swept bangs, and I think she could really rock that cut. Chop off that nasty stringy do and start fresh.

      • Nona says:

        Maybe in her 30s the crackface will subside?

    • Decloo says:

      “Potential” appearance is the phrase she used. Clearly it’s not happening. When she calls it potential it means she’s been begging whatever contacts she has left to get her in a play and after she wore them down they told her they “would see what they could do.”

  2. Lucy2 says:

    I’m sure she misread the title. “Speed and Blow? Sure I’ll do that!”

    How is she even getting meetings? Anyone legit is not going to waste their time with her.

    • doofus says:

      lol…I was going to say “she probably thought it was ‘plow through the speed’ and figured she was a lock for the role”.

      and I think it’s a bunch of crack-lies, anyway. I was under the impression that the West End was sort of like “the Broadway of London”, and I seriously doubt anyone would cast her in anything in that realm.

    • kri says:

      I can only think she will be starring as the plow.

    • GirlyGirl says:

      I was wondering if “speed the plow” is ‘prison talk’ for one of the following

      1) doing coke
      2) doing meth
      3) doing meth and coke together
      4) having sex with someone for money, then doing meth and coke together

  3. Lindy79 says:

    Hope they have good refund insurance because they’ll need it.

    I can’t believe she is younger than me. She looks like she should be pushing 40.
    I finished watching the reality show on TLC…It’s an exercise in self delusion, blaming everyone else, constantly letting jobs down yet whinging that no one will hire you.

    • Kiddo says:

      Hope they have good refund insurance because they’ll need it.

      Interesting that this play is one she may be considered for. This was the same play that Piven left because he ate fish, or hateverthatexcusewas.

    • Melissa says:

      Where can you watch her show?

      • the original bellaluna says:

        You can find just about anything on Bon chance to you!

    • Lindy79 says:

      Melissa, I saw it on TLC here in Ireland (its the UK TLC channel I think). I just finished and was on Sunday nights

  4. Queenio says:

    “I only fly for Chanel”. LOL. That will keep me smiling all day!

    • j.eyre says:

      I only fly for Chanel, too. Well, Chanel and to go places.

      • Bob Loblaw says:

        The sad thing is now Chanel is associated with this train wreck and Miley. I prefer my Chanel as the timeless suit, more Jackie O, than OMG NO!

  5. elo says:

    A cracked out skank in Moschino is still a cracked out skank…meh at least her hands look relatively clean.

  6. eliza says:

    What she failed to mention is she is prepping for the stage production in the community theater located in Bear Fork, MT.

  7. Heat says:

    Note the wording in the article: “preparing for a potential appearance “. A potential appearance??? Bwah ha ha ha ha!

    • Tx says:

      I saw that too! Sounds like the writer didn’t even believe she was really going to be a part of it.

    • Belle Epoch says:

      HEAT I noticed the careful wording too! The NYT does not lie. It insinuates.

      LL can’t remember her lines for anything. Maybe she thinks theater is like doing SNL – you just read the cue cards off camera.

    • Sighs says:

      Hahahahahahahahah. I know, right? You’re either cast or you’re not. This was the funniest thing I’ve read in quite some time.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      Yeah, just like the film she was going to produce and star in this spring.
      She doesn’t even have the good sense to be embarrassed by herself.

  8. Esmom says:

    Is it me or does everyone in the photos look slightly embarrassed to be pictured with her?

  9. Neelyo says:

    Hahahahaha! I’m trying to imagine that rasp of a voice projecting in a theatre.

    She couldn’t show up on time for a Funny or Die shoot. Her career as a professional actress is dead.

    • K-Rock says:

      Lol! I was just think that too! It took her 5,000 takes to shoot a guest spot on a 1/2 hour pre-taped TV show (2 Broke Girls)….I think her chances of learning all of the dialogue to a full on play and doing it live night after night for weeks on end is highly laughable.

    • msw says:

      I also can’t imagine why she would ever get hired for a gig ever again. She is notorious for being unprepared, late, and difficult. The general consensus seems to be she is great when she is on, but she can’t get her ish together enough to be “on” most of the time. Any producer who hires her for her notoriety gets what they deserve.

      It seems to me like she is using drugs/alcohol to self medicate for some rather debilitating behavioral health problems. She is a legend in her own mind, a professional victim, and such a compulsive liar, she probably doesn’t even know how to tell the truth. She and Charlie Sheen would make a perfect couple. She is a fragmented person. I don’t think she really care a if she dies at this point, which is really sad.

  10. vylette says:

    I feel really sorry for her. I recently saw parent trap, she showed such potential! Now she is just a cracked out mess living in a delusional world.

    • elo says:

      My days of feeling sorry for her are gone. She had all the resources one could need to get clean, she has had all the chances in the world to reclaim her career. I will save my sympathy for addicts and people in recovery who would love to have her chances at minimum wage jobs and who fight for their lives and sobriety on a daily basis.

      • doofus says:

        thank you, elo. I say the same thing to anyone who expresses sympathy.

        she’s had chance after chance to get clean, offers of help from very famous, powerful women (Oprah was just the latest) and more opportunities for a “comeback” than anyone.

        save the sympathy for those folks you mentioned.

      • Nicolette says:

        Me too, I’m done. Yes she had potential back then but that’s long gone. This is going to be yet another LiLo train wreck, if it’s even true, and I don’t believe it is. Who would take such a risk with her? And yes my sympathies and support lie with those truly working to end their addictions and get their lives back on track. Not this mess, not any longer sad to say.

    • msw says:

      I also feel sorry for her. Even if she is an asshole, even if most of her problems are her fault, and even if she threw away every one of the bazillion chances handed to her by judges, producers, Oprah, and God, I feel sorry for a person who is so broken and f***ed up they would destroy themselves and blowtorch anything good they had going for themselves.

      Compassion doesn’t mean a person gets a pass, or excuses. Compassion is not a finite resource and it doesn’t need to be saved for the “worthy”. Just my 2¢.

      • MaryIV says:

        Couldn’t of said it better myself. I totally agree.

      • doofus says:

        see, if she were a nicer person, I’d agree with you. but she’s shown herself to be a total A-HOLE in every facet of her life. she’s mean, she’s vindictive, she’s manipulative and she’s violent.

        if she were to turn herself around, and actually, REALLY TRY to get clean and show up for the roles in which she’s cast, and admitted her mistakes, and that her problems were all her fault and not the fault of anybody else…I think a lot of folks would be rooting for her. but as it stands now, I just can’t.

        good for you for being more compassionate (I do mean that, no sarcasm) but most of us are long gone from that place.

      • msw says:

        I agree, a lot more people would root for her if she wasn’t a truly nasty and dangerous person. And I’m certainly not giving her a pass. Plenty of people with behavioral health problems are not like her. I think she is a broken person even without the substance abuse and she was trying to self medicate with drugs, which then became a very serious addiction on top of all her other problems, of which there seem to be many. People don’t get that f***ed up all by themselves. For that, she deserves compassion, IMO (as does everyone), but I certainly don’t think it excuses her actions. I just can’t help buy feel sorry for a person who seems to be acting out of such despair, misery and self-loathing, as well as the delusional and addictive coping mechanisms she developed to deal with it. I think she knows she is soon going to kill herself somehow and doesn’t really care, and that is very, very sad. To me, being worthy of it because she could have tried a lot harder doesn’t make a bit of difference.

      • elo says:

        Feeling sad for her is one thing, feeling sorry for her is another. There are many other almost 30 year olds who have brought themselves out of worse situations, ditched their effed up families and enrolled in therapy.

      • msw says:

        I’m not giving her a pass. Splitting hairs about being sad vs. sorry for her doesn’t really interest me. She is a jerk, she’s made no sincere effort to better herself, and its inexcusable. I’ve had plenty of professional victims as patients and they are ridiculously difficult to work with, because they never own responsibility for their situation.

  11. Mia4S says:

    Oh this is hilarious! I couldn’t resist googling and the story is all over the place….with her as the source, LOL! No mention of the producer or the actors who would take the starring roles (the female role is supporting). Preparing huh? Well the character is a Hollywood actress so that could take some time. Also if the play was in November rehearsals what start at the earliest (very earliest) in late August.

    Actually it could be marketing genius…with a “no refunds” policy and one hell of an understudy! Yeesh.

  12. lower-case deb says:

    what i think will be good is a year-long residency someplace doing performance art with audience interaction.
    for example: audience comes, and gets a bowl of soup from the artist.

    or non-participatory performance art, like:
    audience watch artist sweep pavement, or paint vandalized wall.
    it can be a traveling exhibition.

    or endurance performance art, like:
    live in a glass box for a year without leaving.

    • DarkSparkle says:

      You win the internet today. Genius.

    • Happyhat says:

      I was thinking more along the lines of Panto season. What’s good enough for former members of D List British boybands, is good enough for Lilo.

    • Decloo says:

      Yes! Why have we never thought to pair her up with that OTHER performance artist, Shia Ladouche?

  13. Melissa says:

    There is something new with her eyes/cheeks, right?

  14. Mindy says:

    Ummm… The only person who is saying a production of ‘Speed the Plow’ is happening in the fall is HER. There is no mention ANYWHERE that it’s headed to the West End this fall, next spring… If it was happening, SHE wouldn’t have been the first name announced. The play is more about the interaction between Bobby Gould and Charlie Fox. IF there was a production, the producers would have been touting their two male leads first. And they would have HAD to start touting that NOW to generate interest.

    Just another cracky-cracky lie out of her cracky-cracky mouth.

    It does amaze me how the internet will run with a line of bullshit out of the mouth of a perpetual liar, though. This ‘news’ is everywhere… Doesn’t ANYONE believe in CHECKING OTHER SOURCES ANYMORE?!?!?! Like, just making a call around to the ‘producers’ to fact check?

    • Madi says:

      Absolutely. This is bs. Tickets are on sale for all shows in November and Speed the Plow is not on anyones list, plus I think all venues in the West End have already announced what’s coming up for the rest of the year.

      Maybe she is putting this out because if it is written in the Times the hotel she is staying at thinks the theatre producers are picking up the tab. Or the Times misunderstood and she will be doing pantomine in South End in Peed my Plough and she is the rear end of Daisy the panto cow.

    • Heather says:

      Which ever dude picked her up at the bar and promised her the role for sex is to blame for this rumor. Too bad lohan isn’t as smart as you to google upcoming west end productions before she puts out for job.

  15. embertine says:

    I saw this headline and assumed that “Speed-the-Plow” was a euphemism for some cracked-out sex act, possibly involving a llama, some tiger balloons and two packets of raspberry Jello. My emotions on finding out it is a play are wavering between relieved and disappointed.

  16. Talie says:

    In her mind it’s always 2004

  17. Kate2 says:

    When my boyfriend has fantasies or daydreams he says they take place in the “Danny B Theatre of the Mind”. That may be similar to the address of Lindsay’s play.

  18. Kate2 says:

    Keep in mind that this play is also the one Madonna was in when she tried her hand at Broadway years ago.

    It didn’t go well.

    • K-Rock says:

      Difference being, Madonna has a work ethic.

    • I was going to say the same thing. I think that she probably knew that in the back of her mind, and when asked, just sort of accessed that little sound byte because that is the only name of a play she could remember some famous person making a “comeback” in. Only it was a pretty poor showing, as you say.

  19. DanaG says:

    I bet the producers, other actors and the West End are all surprised to be hearing about this. No one is going to be hiring LL and the chances of her getting a gig on stage is even less likely. The girl barely made it through the recent sitcom fiasco. She can’t remember her lines and let’s face it she probably wont even show. How is she affording this new life in London? Does she have another “friend”?

  20. bettyrose says:

    What the hell kinda visa is she on that she gets to stay indefinitely? Can she just endlessly renew her 3 month tourist visa with no suspicion?

    • Chichai says:

      You can; it’s called the BJ visa. Or another thought, maybe the reason she is in the UK for so long is that the US won’t let her back in without going directly to jail for some violation.

    • I have a beef with this too. I did everything right (I’m an American expat with Indefinite leave to remain in the UK but still a US citizen), and at the time I was applying for my visa they decided the rules changed and they sent me packing to get a different visa mere weeks before my wedding (where people were coming from all over the planet, gah!) Hubby and I had to run off to get married in Manhattan and make our actual wedding a renewal ceremony (and big ass party. Hey, it’s Scotland).

      This wench gets to just stay as looooong as she likes and spread her own unique brand of divored-from-reality crackheadedness about the place like its fairy dust. Or maybe angel dust.

      Home Office, WTF!?

  21. Sandy says:

    “When we shoot together, we always have to shoot for three days, because we have too much fun. We forget that we have to get work done.” Yes, that’s exactly the problem. No matter what “job” she has, she forgets she has to get work done.

    • Texased says:

      With Lilow, I even found double-meaning is stating that they “shoot” (up) for three days.

      We can add this lie to her and Dina’s others:
      1. Ben Affleck visited Linds in rehab to talk about a role in his new movie.
      2. Dina saying she’s a former Rockette, even though the Rockettes say they have no record of her dumba$$ ever being one.
      3. Linds lost her passport in Europe.
      4. The black kid did it!
      5. That’s not MY cocaine in MY pants, officers!
      6. Blah blah blah….

  22. Skins says:

    What has she ever done to make anybody think that she has the talent to go out live on stage and perform in a play? She is a drunken joke, imagine her trying to remember lines in front of a live audience. And the crack-voice? You know, I hope this happens, it will be hysterical

  23. RedWeatherTiger says:

    Hello, PROBATION? At some point, she is going to have to answer some questions about her court-ordered community service and therapy sessions. Maybe that will be her excuse why she can’t actually SHOW UP for her imaginary starring role in London.

    I saw Les Mis in the West End last summer, and it is every bit as fabulous as Broadway. The idea of LL stinking up the place makes me sick.

  24. OriginallyBlue says:

    This bitch. She can’t even show up for her own tv show. She expects people to believe she will show up and know her lines for this. Smdh.

  25. dorothy says:

    I think I speak for everyone when I say, I’ll believe it when I see it.

  26. Couiny says:

    “I’m going back to my West End world,”
    She was never in a West End show. And she never did theater, like ever. So how it’s possible that she is going back to “MY West End world”? It was never her world, her world is the clubs, the drogues, the booze and the rehab. And then, the ” only flying for Chanel” bit.
    This delusional crackhead….

    Move that Tony award, I’m Lindsay Lohan !!!!!!!!

    • Angie says:

      Also, the ” only flying for Chanel” reminds me of the time she said she was going to be in Disney’s Oz the great and powerful “only if James Franco is doing it”. Because they were like best friends, when she was stalking him.

      • RedWeatherTiger says:

        That’s right! Like, “I will only condescend to be in that movie IF my demands are met and James Franco is in it!” She really is living in her own little dream world where everyone wants her and she should have everything she wants. Look at Franco now, bending over backwards and turning himself inside out to deny any hookup with her.

    • the Flying for Chanel is like Linda Evangelista’s “only getting out of bed for $10,000″, and the “Speed the Plow” I’m pretty sure is siphoned off of the time Madonna ACTUALLY performed in that show.

      This girl is Kaiser Soze! She’s pulling words off of a bulletin board and regurgitating them as her own…

  27. insomniac says:

    Well, crap — you guys don’t think this is really gonna happen? Because I was all set to change the dates of my London vacation to November just to catch this. Bummer! *rolleyes*

  28. Jules says:

    Why on earth is the NYT even talking to her???…why?!.

  29. The Original G says:

    Why is Jeremy Scott ripping off Chanel with those designs?

  30. jwoolman says:

    This sad girl couldn’t show up on time for a show filmed in her own apartment, and we’re supposed to believe that she will be cast in a London stage play?!? With no stage experience and her consistent record for no shows, late shows, and difficulty remembering one line at a time? I know she’s been looking better than in the past, so she must be slowed down a bit in her headlong race over the cliff- but that was true during her disastrous “reality show” also and she didn’t waver from her past behavior. Her problem isn’t just being a drunken druggie, she isn’t very functional sober either.

    Has she completed her community service requirement? I know she did a little for the cameras. Did she do the rest when the cameras were off? It was a pretty lengthy sentence- maybe half as long as for the necklace theft, so still not something she could do in a weekend. The last time (after she was fired from the cushy community service job the judge got her for leaving early and coming late when she showed up at all), the judge had to put her on a strict schedule at the morgue, threatening her with jail every few weeks, to get her through it.

    • Lady D says:

      I was soo pissed when the judge wrote a schedule for her to follow. I want to know how many other inmates got their hand held by their judge. It’s the unfairness of her treatment that pisses me off.

      • jwoolman says:

        Lady D- I think there are at least three reasons the judge was willing to drag her kicking and screaming to fulfill her community service.
        1) they really need to get rid of her. She is a hopeless repeat offender but they can’t effectively put her in jail because of the sheriff’s habit of letting such scofflaws loose for overcrowding reasons. Nonfamous people are getting similar treatment now. LA just doesn’t have room for all the people convicted.They keep trying other ways to make an impression, such as lengthy forced rehab (lockdown the last time), lengthy community service, house arrest. They will be dealing with her forever if they don’t manage to get her through probation… The judges must be drawing straws by now to see who gets her next.

        2) every time they try to put her in jail, she will tie up the courts with appeals by her pricey lawyer. Of course, in her case, paying the pricey lawyer has pretty much broken her financially, which is justice served. But she just won’t do the obvious cheap thing and serve her time/do what the court demands to get off probation. She’s been a legal thorn in their sides since 2007. All she needed to do was take a few drunk ed classes once a week but she blew them off and then tried to cram against judge’s orders. Then she shows up in court waving FU spelled out on her nails at the judge every chance she got. Meanwhile, everybody who tries to deal properly with her gets smeared by her and her idiot family. Her victims also get smeared. They want her to stay in London..

        3) they think she’s bonkers, not quite enough for a strait jacket but enough that all her recent judges have insisted on regular therapy as part of probation requirements. The most recent judge actually increased the therapy sentence on recommendation by one of her many rehabs. I remember when she was addled enough to think a jury trial for the clearcut jewelry theft case made sense. The judge in the hearing just looked totally incredulous, he had seen the surveillance video (me, too) and knew she had waltzed out with the necklace carefully swung around to show only the clasp under her own two necklaces, after wearing out the poor clerk “showing” her and her accomplice things. They were dancing around in two different directions to distract the clerk. She did the same quick twirl of the necklace when caught on the street by a photographer while wearing the stolen necklace. Anyway, the judge obviously wondered if she had understood everything and if her lawyer had really explained the consequences. She just seemed so out if it so often and going for a jury trial was insane under the circumstances

  31. Izzy says:

    Someone should sit her crackie butt down and explain to her that “Speed the Plow” is not about speeding in a car and plowing through a crowd of people. Seriously. She needs to know that. Like, now.

    Also, who is actually stupid enough to hire her for a play? With multiple appearances? She can’t get through one episode of a sitcom without it becoming a complete cluster.

    I’m calling BS on this until someone actually, legitimately associated with the production confirms it. And then, I will write to them with the names of a few good shrinks, because if they did hire her they obviously need their heads examined.

  32. Kate says:

    How is she even in London? Isn’t she on probation??

  33. OhMyMy says:

    Dear London:

    There are reasons why she is loathed in the US. Putting crap like this out there is just one of them.

    She hasn’t quite mastered the whole: Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shower, get dressed, go to work thing. Apparently she manages to get her herself made up and dressed to go shopping and hit the clubs every night but anything else is beyond her limits of functionality.

    Any West End producer stupid enough to hire her does not get the privilege of bitching, moaning, crying, whining and complaining publicly after she screws them over (like she always does). Zip it. We don’t want to hear it.

    This girl has no impulse control, no self management life skills, no work ethic and absolutely no consideration for others.

    If she was offered the part of “Passed Out Drunk Girl #1″ and was basically acting as a stage prop, maybe. But only during the evening performances, forget her showing up for matinees.

    Live theater? Puh-lease.

  34. hmmm says:

    Who’s producing the play? Barnum and Bailey? Sheesh.

  35. Chris says:

    Fairly one way traffic here. I almost feel like defending her just as a point of difference but I wouldn’t know where to begin. Samantha Ronson says hi.

  36. birch says:

    She’s preparing for potentially getting a part on stage in London and I’m preparing to potentially get a part in William Fichtner’s bedroom but I expect we are both wasting our time.

  37. Portlandjan says:

    If worst comes to worst, someone could always cast her as the title character in “Waiting For Godot”

  38. the original bellaluna says:

    Is she playing Golem?

  39. Baskingshark says:

    The play is called Speed-The-Plow not Smoke-The-Crack…

    Or maybe she just thinks she’ll get to do Speed.