Kate Hudson on her existence as a parent: ‘There’s always a bit of guilt’

Kate Hudson

Kate Hudson and her Ungaro ghost pants are have been busily promoting I Wish I Was Here in the UK. She stopped by the Good Morning Britain show in a different pair of ghost pants. These pants are still black and white, and they remind me of the television static in The Ring. Scary.

As I mentioned before, Kate plays a working mother in her new movie. Zach Braff plays the stay-at-home dad. Kate also has plenty of real-life experience as a working mother of two sons. She talked about how hard it is to parent: “There’s always a bit of guilt.” Of course there is guilt. Guilt at not doing things correctly. Guilt at not putting the baby down at the correct time to promote a regular bedtime. Guilt at not picking the baby up at the precise moment they wake up for a 3am feeding. Guilt at leaving for work. Guilt at not leaving for work to provide for a fancier stroller. You know the drill, moms:

She’s a working mom & “a guilty one”: “I think you always have a little bit of guilt that you could be doing more. It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home mom or working mom. I think the daily process of raising your children; you always feel like ‘Could I have done that differently? Could I have made a different choice? Was that the right time to discipline?’”

Her love of dance helps everything: “It’s so easy that your kids become your whole life that sometimes you have to remember what you were individually and what drives you with happiness. For me its dance it’s just one of those things. Sometimes I realise I haven’t been dancing much and I don’t understand what’s wrong with me or I don’t understand why I’m feeling one way and then it will just hit me ‘Oh I need to dance.”

[From ITV - Good Morning Britain]

The dance obsession seems a little silly, right? I think Kate is simply referring to having a cherished hobby to call one’s own. It could be dancing, knitting, running, or video games. Everyone has to have their special pastime to keep themselves sane. Kate loves to dance. It helps the mommy guilt.

Kate abandoned her ghost-pant collection and flew back to the states in stonewashed jeans. These jeans went out of style a decade ago, but Kate still pulls them off.

Kate Hudson

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN

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24 Responses to “Kate Hudson on her existence as a parent: ‘There’s always a bit of guilt’”

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  1. MrsBPitt says:

    I wish my obsession was “dance” and not “chocolate”…..

  2. Jules says:

    Again the same old sexist BS……………why aren’t men ever asked these questions?

    • Mot says:

      I get what you are saying, but my experience is that dads generally don’t experience “dad guilt” ….in. Fact most dads feel like they are doing great no matter what.

      On the other hand most (not all) moms do tend to feel guit like Kate says about whether you are doing enough. And she’s right, as a stay at Home mom i feel guilty too sometimes.

      I am glad she is honest that she struggles too (like the previous commenter, I wish I struggled with too much dancing instead of too much pantry!)

      • Susan says:

        I kind of think that there is a considerable amount of pressure that society places on women to be “a perfect mother”. Dad’s aren’t expected to be emotionally nurturing or consistent in their parenting because they’re the “fun parent”.

        A great example is demonstrated by an episode of Malcolm in the Middle where the mom Lois is at her wits end with raising her 5th child (Lois Battles Jamie). When she tells her husband Hal that she’s ready to give up, he panics and essentially states that his primary role as “the dad” is handing out snacks in the car because Lois “agreed” to do all the actual parenting.

      • Size Does Matter says:

        “Most dads feel they are doing great no matter what.” That’s pretty true in my experience. They don’t seem to do the second-guessing that moms do, which is a confidence thing, I think.

        I bet Kate is like me, and dance for her is more than just “me time” or a hobby, like knitting or scrapbooking or something non physical. If I’m not exercising on the regular, I get depressed.

      • lisa2 says:

        I don’t agree with that. I think men do get asked about working and leaving their families. But that is “what a Dad does”.. provide for the family. It is unfair to assume that men don’t feel the same things that women feel. That they don’t miss their kids and wives when they go off to work. Some men would love to have the opportunity to stay home and nurture their children. But Society looks on those men in a different light. They are called deadbeats or loafers. I have seen many comment about men who are with more successful women as being less because she is the one making the money.

        I grew up with brothers and from that experience I know that they have struggles that are not so different from those of women regarding parenting children. Not the same obviously because society views the roles so differently even in 2014.

        I had a mother who worked. I think sometime women like to hold on to these tags and run with them too much. If you are out providing a life for your family that is a part of being a parent. There doesn’t need to be quilt for that. If you take some time for yourself there is no need for guilt either. We buy into this too much. And it seems in so many interview Celebrity women talk about this more than anything else. I guess to relate to the general public.

        I don’t know if my thoughts make sense.. but I just think women need to stop beating themselves up over working. Children will be fine as long as they know and feel loved. That when you are with your children for how ever much time that you are present. That you are there. Because I know parents that are with their children all day and are not with them in any way that matters.

      • Esmom says:

        lisa2, what you said makes sense. In my case, my guilt went deeper than just beating myself up about working. When I was home with my kids I felt guilty for not working, especially when I knew that my younger, childless colleagues were probably still at the office. It was guilt about everything, I guess, and feeling like I couldn’t do either job — mom or career — well when I was always half distracted by the other one.

        As for men/dads, I agree with you. My husband has become much more prone to being stressed out since we had kids. Not by the kids but by this heavy weight that he has brought upon himself, to provide for his kids as well or better than his own father did for him.

        In any case, I agree that kids will be fine as long as they are loved. Very well put.

    • Tiffany says:

      Jules, it seemed like the topic went in hand with the film she is promoting and her being a working parent.

      Also. Kate really needs to leave her face alone.

  3. Alexi says:

    Those jeans are back in style…… Unfurtunately

    • Nicolette says:

      Ugh. They’re acid wash, not stone wash and they are as horrible as they were the first time around. Been seeing them everywhere lately. They say everything eventually comes back in style but there are some looks that just shouldn’t.

  4. Chris says:

    Maybe dance is her way of exercising. If it is then I can understand why she might feel out of sorts if she hasn’t been keeping up her routine. I know for me I feel pretty crappy when I haven’t been exercising enough. I also know as a working parent life can become incredibly serious and sometimes I need to cut loose and go out for a few drinks or something, just to have a break from the drudgery of routine. Keeping balance in life is an ongoing challenge.

    • Nicolette says:

      Yes, those nights out with my friends having a nice chocolate martini save my sanity. You get lost in being a mom and have to stop and remember to make yourself happy in the process too.

  5. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    I know what she means about having something that takes you out of yourself on a regular basis. I don’t have kids so I don’t have the same challenges as far as finding the time as she does, but I need to do something creative fairly often or I feel off. I can just get in a rut with day to day life and not make time to do it, and I start feeling resentful about the necessary things. If I make time to do some flowers or paint or draw (I suck, but still) I feel more balanced.

    • Esmom says:

      I hear you. For me, making the time is the biggest challenge, and then it’s all good once I do. But the struggle to make the time is an ongoing one, I’m not sure why I can’t be better about it since I recognize that’s my main issue.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Me, neither, and as I said, I don’t have the same challenges that a lot of people do, yet I still fail to make the time often enough. I tried this thing once about doing something creative every day, but it didn’t last.

  6. Mzizkrizten says:

    Stone washed jeans are miles better than high-waisted anything!

  7. Esmom says:

    I know the guilt she describes all too well. And yes, having cherished hobbies/pastimes/interests is key to maintaining sanity and a sense of self, at least for me. Balance is always tricky.

  8. mystified says:

    I’m really falling in love with Kate Hudson! Her “ghost pants” are pretty bad. They look like something Shelly Hack would have worn on “Charlie’s Angels”. The jeans are worse. But that’s part of what makes Kate so relatable.

    Unlike most celebrities who pontificate about parenting, Kate’s comments seem genuine. She comes across like a normal, non arrogant mom who sometimes doubts her parenting prowess — and what sane, caring mom doesn’t? There doesn’t appear to be a scintilla of condescension in her comments. What a refreshing change from the usual celebrity parent!

  9. Nicolette says:

    She’s right about the guilt, it almost goes hand in hand with being a parent. There is no such thing as the perfect parent and you are always second guessing things along the way, wondering in hindsight if you should have done things differently or wishing you had. Live and learn. It’s an ongoing process, and you just try to do your best. You hope they will learn the lessons you teach, and use that knowledge to go on to become happy, successful, well adjusted adults. It’s really what any parent wants.

  10. poppy says:

    at least she has a better sense of diplomacy re working or stay at home.
    she speaks about parenting a lot better than goop. never once has goop said she’s second guessed herself. i’m sure some people never second guess themselves but they tend to come across like goop.

    OT, what ever happened to her hair care line?

    finding time for yourself can be a challenge. maybe she should dance with ghosts instead of telling them what year it is?

  11. Stef Leppard says:

    I don’t understand why people feel guilty. Megan Fox, Claire Danes, and now Kate Hudson. What is “mom guilt”? I don’t feel any guilt. I follow my instincts, love my kids with all my heart, and that’s it. We’re all happy and guilt free.