Penelope Cruz is Esquire’s 2014 Sexiest Woman Alive: worthy or boring?


Penelope Cruz has become the 2014 Sexiest Woman Alive, according to Esquire Mag. Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive feature is usually pretty good – they tend to skew to women in their 30s and 40s, women with a little bit of life experience under their belts. Previous winners include: Angelina Jolie, Mila Kunis, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Beckinsale, Charlize Theron and more. You can see Penelope’s sexy slideshow here, and read her interview here. I’ll admit… I like Penelope a lot and I think she’s gorgeous and sexy. But I hate reading her interviews, especially when it’s an interview done by the overwrought writers at Esquire. So I barely skimmed the Esquire piece, only reading enough to know this isn’t a typical profile with, you know, quotes. I’m only going with the barest of highlights:

Penelope on her darkness: “I’ve played a lot of tricks on myself. I’ve made it hard for me sometimes, especially in my teens and twenties. I had an attraction to drama. Most of us have that, especially if you are an artist—you feel like you are tempted to explore the darkness. I could not be less interested now. For me, the most attractive, charming, cool, fun, interesting thing—how could I call it? A plan.”

On her family: “That is for us,” she says. She declines to talk about her recent motherhood (a three-year-old son and a daughter who just turned one) except to say that family is everything to her and the reason we have not seen much of her lately.

Her anti-Israel stance: She has asked not to be asked about one of her rare public demonstrations of anticalculus, her controversial signing of an open group letter in the Spanish media condemning the Israeli bombing of Gaza, referring instead—at the table, in person— to a statement released by her publicist as her final word on the subject. (“My only wish and intention in signing that group letter is the hope that there will be peace,” it reads in part.)

[From Esquire]

Sure, okay. As I said, I could look at Penelope all day long but don’t make me sit through her interviews! Plus, the Esquire piece was written by some dude who thought he was Hemingway and he spent half the interview talking about a bullfight. Because of course.

As for the Israel thing – Penelope did sign a letter denouncing “Israeli genocide” of Palestinians – you can read more about it here. After several studios threatened to blacklist her for the stance, Penelope issued a clarification that she was merely pro-peace.

Oh, and Penelope turned 40 years old in April. To me, she still looks like she’s in her 20s. Crazy.

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59 Responses to “Penelope Cruz is Esquire’s 2014 Sexiest Woman Alive: worthy or boring?”

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  1. Tanguerita says:

    I think she looks pretty much her age, when not photoshopped into oblivion, as it’s the case here. I’ve always found her boring, borderline irritating and not a good actress. Haven’t missed her a bit.

  2. Colu says:

    Completely agree. I always say that Penelope Cruz is the sexiest woman in the world.

  3. spaniard says:

    Her interviews are boring because she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, never had anything interesting to say. We stopped to care about what she says in Spain long ago. These pics are photoshopped to hell and back.

  4. Someonestolemyname says:

    Penelope is gorgeous and Sexy but this year I’d have given it to JLO.

  5. Esmom says:

    Meh. I’ve never been a fan, she reminds me a bit of Sofia Vergara with her schtick.

  6. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    I’m not sure I can articulate this, but she has all the physical elements of sexy, but isn’t sexy to me. She doesn’t seem passionate or alive or funny or especially intelligent (not that she’s stupid, either). She just seems bland. And that’s not sexy to me. I’m sure that disturbs her deeply.

    • FingerBinger says:

      She isn’t sexy to me either. I’ve thought she was a bit odd looking.

      • Suzanne says:

        She’s got that nose touching her top lip thing going like Julia Roberts…and I’ve never thought she was sexy…but then I’m a woman…She does look photo shopped in these pictures…All I can guess is…they’ve run out of sexy candidates in Hollywood or anywhere else if Penelope got it!

    • Esmom says:

      Agreed and lol. And I agree with FingerBinger, there are times when she looks a lot like a duck to me.

    • Tiffany27 says:

      I agree GNAT. She’s pretty, but she’s just kinda………..there.

    • siri says:

      Agree. She isn’t sexy, just trying to be. But sexiness you can’t really achieve with a pose, or a certain look in your eyes- it comes from within. Her’s is a sort of staged sexiness, in reality she seems to be rather boring.

    • Tanguerita says:


  7. Gina says:

    Bestowing the title of Sexiest Woman Alive to Penelope is in my opinion the equivalent of Adam Levine being named the sexiest man. Neither of them exude sexuality to me. She can do a sexy pose from a good photographer, but there are so many other woman out there today who ooze that sensuality more than she does. But I’m not the queen yet, so let the townspeople decide who is or is not the sexiest.

  8. wolfpup says:

    I call this sexist: who makes these decisions concerning women bodies? Men? Magazines? PR teams? I’m sure that lots of make-up, clothing and whatever else is needed will be sold, to other women as they seek to mirror her; or starve and throw up to look like her. “Sexiest Woman Alive”??? There’s a whole planet full of us! Who would want to alienate their girlfriends by claiming such a title for themselves. Is this our finest hour as a women, to be the “sexiest?? I think that this is about men, not women.

    That said; I’ve always liked Penelope – I think she’s great fun.

  9. kibbles says:

    This is a candid photo of Penelope from earlier this year:

    It would be nice to have an expert in Photoshop retouch all of our photos, wouldn’t it? We could all look 10 years younger and 15 pounds thinner. She looks good but most of the time these women who are named sexiest alive or in the world look just like attractive normal women in everyday life without professional makeup and Photoshop.

  10. thinkaboutit says:

    I’ve seen her in person several times at film festivals. This is a Photoshop fantasy or nightmare, depending on how you course to view these things. She just doesn’t look like that anymore. As for sex appeal, she has none in my eyes. I’m not a fan — can you tell?

  11. Ciria says:

    She is beautiful and totally captivating in her Spanish films.

    Nice to see an “older” woman made the cover versus the proverbial 20 year old.

    • Etheldreda says:

      I would agree, were it not for the fact that they’ve photoshopped her to make her look exactly like a 2O year old. Penelope is gorgeous, but I barely recognised her in those photos, if you can even call them photos – they’ve been shopped so much that they might as well be paintings. For a start, she’s nowhere near as thin as that, and her face is slightly angular – beautiful in ‘real life’, but doesn’t always photograph well.

      If I hadn’t been told that was Penelope, I’d have assumed she was some random ladz mag model barely out of her teens.

  12. Kiddo says:

    I’m not sure why she should be blacklisted from roles based on an opinion about war in foreign lands. She was speaking specific to actions in war, not making a general statement about people. Maybe I need to reread the link?

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I think the implication is that any opinion that doesn’t support Israel 100% is anti-Semitic, and there are people who believe that many or most powerful Hollywood people are Jewish. THIS IS NOT MY OPINION. I’m just trying to put it in context.

      • Kiddo says:

        I guess it is akin to criticizing the US policy and use of military and then being called un-American and not ‘supportive of the troops’?

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Yes, that’s a good comparison.

      • maybeiamcrazy says:

        GNAT Why do people think that? I always hear conspiracy theorists going on about Jewish people rulinh Hollywood or the world but i don’t know why. Is this an American thing?

  13. Gine says:

    This seems like a really random choice. She’s pretty, but she’s been out of the spotlight for so long that I kind of forgot all about her.

  14. SamiHami says:

    I’ve seen her in a few movies and have been unimpressed with her. She’s just not that good an actress. And she is certainly not sexy imo. I’d be perfectly happy if she and that French twit Marion Cottilard would just go away.

    • Anne tommy says:

      Marion is lovely and an excellent actress. Penelope, don’t really care one way or another.

    • JJ says:

      Marion C. is very talented, Penelope is just bland on and off screen. Her husband is the talented one in the family. These pics look cheap and dumb esp since she does the standard ScarJo ‘hang my mouth open’ to try to come off as sexy.

  15. your majesty says:

    She always reminds me of a Chihuahua.

  16. jumbotron says:

    I totally forgot she existed. She kind of fell off the face of the earth, didn’t she? I saw her in that atrocious movie “The Counselor” last year and wondered if every single actor who signed up for it had been punk’d. I think she can be a good actress under the right director but unfortunately, she has been choosing some questionable films as of late — the Woody Allen film that was not Blue Jasmine, the one with Emile Hirsch that didn’t even have a stateside release and the Ridley Scott fiasco.

  17. Yeah says:

    I think she’s smart, gorgeous, and I love her hair. Good choice.

  18. Crocuta says:

    Weirdly I wouldn’t even recognise her on the cover pic. On the other one, yes.

    I don’t know, I don’t find her neither sexy nor beautiful. Sure she is pretty, but in a plain Jane kind of way. Not that i’s a bad thing, she’s just not the sexiest *anything* in my opinion.

  19. Hissyfit says:

    She’s very pretty and I love her in Vicky Crisitna Bracelona but yeah, she’s boring and her personal life is uninteresting for me.

  20. emmie_a says:

    Makes me wonder who bought the title & magazine cover for her.

  21. mariaj says:

    She is pretty, but nothing special. Funny how someone says that she seems a duck, to me her face reminds me a…mouse, a little pretty mouse. Anyway, and for the record, she has had a likely nose jobe AND a boob job, too.No, she doesn’t deserve that title. If Sofia Vergara was a bit more subtley, less put too much make up on,, well, she is more beautiful than P. CRuz.

  22. bns says:

    Why would she ask them not to ask her about her comments on Israel? Kind of cowardly, IMO.

    • Kimberly says:

      I don’t blame her. I’d do the same………she could get heavily criticized for sharing her views especially if it’s not a popular opinion.

  23. grace says:

    I like Penelope Cruz in Spanish films. Unfortunately her English is still pretty bad and distracting otherwise.
    Going through these comments really bothered me. There are way too many criticisms regarding her looks! These “sexiest”, “most beautiful” rankings are ridiculous, but I think it’s refreshing that a 40 year old woman who looks different from your typical Hollywood starlet is still considered hot and sexy.

  24. G says:

    Yeah I’m sorry…but, “What have you done fore me lately??” She’s not acting she just plays “herself” in every movie. I will concede that her Spanish films are way more interesting to watch.

  25. Jen34 says:

    Her face is ordinary. Her body and hair are sexy.

  26. Jayna says:


  27. Isabelle says:

    She’s pretty & men think she’s hot. A lot of my guy friends slobber over her when she is on screen. Don’t think its her looks as much as she has sex appeal & she definitely has it.

  28. Tig says:

    This is a tough crowd! I have always found her gorgeous, and her red carpet appearences are usually so glam. Remember when she and Matthew Mc were an item? What a good looking pair!

  29. Janet says:

    She is undoubtedly beautiful but I’ve just never found her to be very interesting.

    She was pretty good in “The Counselor” but Cameron Diaz totally stole that movie.

  30. jujoki says:

    meeeeeeh. IMO

  31. TOPgirl says:

    What has this woman done lately? Why don’t they give it to a non celeb woman? I’m so sick of them announcing to the world that the most beautiful women in the world are always a celeb and majority of them had a nose or face job!!