Out Magazine’s December issue has four covers celebrating their “awards” for the year. Ellen Page won “Entertainer of the Year” for coming out on Valentine’s Day of this year. Zachary Quinto won Artist of the Year, Samira Wiley won Ingenue of the Year and Sam Smith won Breakout of the Year. I’m totally fine with Page, Wiley and Smith, but it seems like Quinto was honored just because he’s a cute gay guy and they wanted to make him pose for some photos. Anyway, you can see Out Mag’s full Out 100 package here. Here are some highlights from Ellen Page’s interview:
Page on her life post-coming out: “You just feel different in the world. Once you’ve done something that you used to think was impossible, what could ever really scare you again? Even now, press is more enjoyable because I don’t have to have certain conversations. For instance, I’m never going to have to have a conversation about a dress, or heels, ever again.”
She felt like she couldn’t invite her girlfriend to the Oscars: “No one’s ever been so direct as to say, ‘You’re gay, so we’re gonna hide it.’ But there’s an unspoken thing going on. [People] believe it’s the right thing to do for your career. They don’t realize it’s eroding your soul. It was eventually about me being like, Wait, why am I listening to that? At what point did I let those things become important?
Why she decided to come out: For Page, a game-changing moment came not long ago, when she watched TV host (and fellow Canadian) George Stroumboulopoulos chat with Dan Savage, who voiced his steadfast opinion that coming out is a moral imperative. “The way he spoke of it left very little leeway, and it really stuck with me,” Page says. “We all go through a journey and get where we need to be, but I really did start feeling guilty. I kind of felt like an a–hole.”
Working on the true story of ‘Freeheld’: “It’s very direct in showing how discrimination against the LGBT community affects people. There’s no getting around the unfairness that happened here, and just how illogical and almost psychopathic it felt. And it’s so exciting to get to do a love story with the sex that you actually fall for. I’m thrilled about it.”
Her sexuality is not a trend, but she’s fine with all of it: “Even if it did become a trend, who cares, right? Let being yourself become a trend.”
I’ve always found Dan Savage’s speeches, interviews and writings particularly inspiring as well, so I get where she’s coming from. I doubt Savage was trying to shame her or make her feel like an a—hole though! Savage’s message is always pretty clear – LGBTQ adults should come out so that the LGBTQ kids will feel like there IS a way forward, that they are not alone, that it gets better. And what I love about Ellen Page’s coming out and everything that’s happened with her life since then is that she genuinely seems happier. She’s “lighter”. She’s not carrying a secret, her worst fears never came true and it’s just easier to be who she is.
Photos courtesy of Out Magazine.
Not trying to be rude but I’m genuinely shocked so many people were shocked that she was a lesbian. The media and blogs trying to push that Alexander Skarsgard relationship was hilarious to me.
I also don’t understand this: “For instance, I’m never going to have to have a conversation about a dress, or heels, ever again.”
You can be gay and still like fashion & frivolous things.
Yeah, that sentence kind of struck me as oddly worded as well, but I love her so she gets a pass from me. Especially as I’m straight as the day is long, and I never want to have a coversation about a dress, or heels, again.
I also didn’t get that comment about fashion. She’s upholding the stereotype that lesbians don’t care about fashion (“butch”) and only “girly girls” do (therefore not lesbian). It would have been better and made much more sense if she said “I don’t have to talk about boyfriends or men I’m into now” or something.
I thought that was odd as well, and I also think she’s overly optimistic, unless she never plans to wear a dress or heels again. But I liked everything else she said and I don’t think she meant any harm. Maybe she meant that now all she will be asked about is coming out or something.
Yeah, I found that quote about no more questions about dresses and heels odd. There are straight women who hate dresses and/or high heels, and there are gay women who are very feminine. Look at Portia de Rossi. I worked with a girl a few years ago, who is very glamorous with long auburn hair and loves her pencil skirts and high heels and makeup, and she’s a lesbian, never even dated a man or tried to hide it. She came out in her teens.
I do love the cover shot.
Ellen is a tomboy. And not tomboy as in “I wore a lot of pants and played baseball as a kid” but tomboy within the sphere of queer identity. She’s not saying no lesbians ever like fashion, but not wearing heels is a part of who she is. It’s not an odd comment if you understand identities within the queer community.
Good point.
+1
Yeah exactly, and I had no problem at all with what she said. If anything, it came across as really lighthearted to me.
This.
I understand that she’s a “tomboy,” but she didn’t add this context into her comment. It sounded like she was saying, “Everyone knows I’m a lesbian now, so they won’t ask me about dresses and heels anymore.” Because she framed the comment like this, it made it seem as if she thinks lesbians are generally anti-fashion. Thought this was strange, especially since Jenna Lyons is one of the most notable fashion icons in our culture right now.
Betty – honestly, being a Tomboy is a part of her identity that she’s added context to plenty and presents as such quite obviously. She shouldn’t have to give a dissertation on the complexities of her identity every time she makes an offhanded comment about not being into heels and dresses. Additionally, she never said she didn’t like fashion. Not being into heels and dresses isn’t saying “I don’t like fashion” it’s just saying she likes a different kind of fashion than femme styles people assume all women are into. I wouldn’t run up to Ellen Page or Jenna Lyons and gush about 6 inch heels and Elie Saab gowns, but I might have a long conversation about sweet kicks and great blazers.
I definitely see how what she’s saying feeds into a negative stereotype of lesbians though. Whatever the context of her identity is, the vast majority of the people reading the article have no concept of tomboy as a queer identity and will take it to mean that she’s insinuating that lesbians don’t care about traditionally feminine topics of conversation.
@Grant
But this is an interview with OUT magazine. She isn’t necessarily speaking to the general public – she’s speaking to the LGBTQ+ community specifically. I am a lesbian who enjoys putting on makeup and almost exclusively wears dresses, but I understand exactly what she’s saying and I am not in the least bit offended.
The way I understood it is that she doen’t care too much about clothes and never enjoyed talking about it, but she felt she had too because that’s what people in Hollywood do.
Now that she broke the much greater taboo of being an openly homosexual actress she feels like it’s easier to says f*ck you, I don’t want to wear dresses/high heels so I won’t do it and stop asking about it.
That is the way I read it… like the way No one really asks Ellen much “whose suit are you wearing” cause meh!
I Love her, her haircut, and Dan Savage… I he called me a while back about something I asked him and he was THEE living end
That part stuck out to me too, but almost in a joking way? I’m sure, just like every other actress, she was bombarded on red carpets with questions about what she was wearing. Instead of tell us about your role, it was tell us what you’re wearing. Maybe she meant that it was sort of humorous that they don’t ask anymore because of their own tendency to label or place stereotypes?
Anyway, she looks gorgeous on the cover.
I took it as a joke kind of thing, as well. Kind of like “Well, now that I’ve come out nobody even wants to ask me about the clothes – there’s something more interesting for them to ask now”
I think that for her, coming out also meant that she could stop dressing up femme for red carpets. Now, because she’s out, she can wear the tailored clothing that’s right for her (not all lesbians) because she’s fully out and not trying, even in subtle ways, to hide all of who she is.
I would imagine that glass-closeted lesbians in Hollywood feel a certain pressure not to break the glass, as it were, by wearing “masculine” clothes. Now that she’s out, Ellen can do what she wants in every facet of her life. Ellen Degeneres doesn’t have to talk shoes and dresses, and Ellen won’t either. Jody Foster chooses dresses and she still fields that part of the red-carpet talk.
Yeah, exactly. She seems to really gravitate towards masculine style, it’s her personal preference. Her taste just happens to align with stereotypes about lesbian style, which is fine (and also crappy, considering how many years she felt pressure to change it, but hopefully that’s all in the past). She’s said that having to dress super femme for events eroded her soul. I’m also gay but would rather walk on my hands than dress boyishly every day, so I get her. Ellen’s just talking about herself, not making a blanket statement.
Yes, exactly. I also think that before she came out, a lot of publications used her androgynous style as code for her sexuality. There were always articles about it every time she wore a suit and it always seemed worded in a way that implied she was closeted and that they weren’t really talking about her style. Now, her style can just be what it is. No need to change it to avoid certain questions or assumptions.
The people on HERE who kept insisting Ellen and Skarsgard were a THING first made me laughed and then pissed me off, bcause that is the kind of pressure and cluelessness that keeps people in the closet.
And, yes, it’s much, much better after you come out, because you can be yourself. It’s exhausting and soulsucking wearing a mask.
She’s probably talking about her own experience though. She’s probably always wanted to wear suits but had stylists push for her to wear dresses cause it would make her look more “straight”.
I love her but I hate that she’s styled exactly the same in every shoot she does!
Dan Savage is a huge misogynist, gay or not, so I’m not here for that.
Also some straight women aren’t at all interested in heels or dresses. Some lesbians are. If she doesn’t care about those things, that’s great but it isn’t a trait of being a lesbian.
She’s lovely in the pictures.
Agree on the cover shot, and I’ve never been a Savage fan myself either. Even watching him come up through the ranks while living in Seattle, I thought he was a total, um, dick.
100% agree on Dan Savage. But I commented up thread and I want to here again. Ellen identifies as a tomboy, which is a significant part of her queer identity. To dismiss that statement is to dismiss a part of her identity that’s important to her. I always forget how little mainstream culture understands about identities within the queer community. Well at least the lady ones.
@Zoe Fair enough. When you look at it like that I can see where she’s coming from.
<3 Precisely! xx
Dan Savage has a history of being a mysoginistic, transphobic asshole. I always struggle with the fact that, yes his campaigns and high profile has helped some LGBT+ people; but at the same time the fact that he holds such shit views and is held up as one of the biggest faces of the LGBT+ community in mainstream media is extremely problematic.
I think it’s pretty much encapsulated in the opinions Ellen Page said inspired her to come out. Yes, it’s good that being inspired and coming out has made her so much more comfortable in her own skin, but the view itself is such a piece of crap. LGBT+ adults face problems in coming out which affect and/or endanger their well being, and in some parts of the world coming out could even mean physical violence or legal ramifications. Who are you (especially as a straight male) to say that they have a moral obligation to come out for others? Or do their problems matter less because they’re adults? Then again I haven’t listened to his interview with Strombopolous so maybe he had a more nuanced opinion than what Ellen Page said. But mixed with his history of comments, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not.
Oops sorry, I don’t know why I thought he was straight. But the rest of my point stands.
Co-sign on all Dan Savage-related material.
You forgot racist as well.
+1
I actively despise the man.
How is Savage a misogynist and/or racist? I’m not trying to be combative, I just have never heard him saying anything that could be characterized as either of those.
He isn’t. It’s just a popular opinion to hold in certain corners of the internet. When I’ve asked your same question, the responses were always vague. So I did some digging for people making those arguments about him and what I found was very thin gruel. The misogyny claim is probably the dumbest because it traces back to a comment he made in a book published in the late 80s about how he didn’t care for the appearance of vaginas (he compared it to a canned ham dropped from the third story). It was a gay man expressing discomfort with female genitalia in a funny (and he admits immature) way. He’s apologized repeatedly for the offense it caused and owned up to his immaturity in writing it.
The racism claim probably comes from the aftermath of Prop 8 in California where, if memory serves, he was one of the commentators who looked at the exit polls and saw the margin by which black voters supported banning gay marriage and basically blamed them for the passage. There were some testy exchanges and bitter recriminations, but cooler heads prevailed in analyzing the data and showing that blaming black voters was unfair. I don’t recall how big a part Savage played in all that, but it’s certainly not been a recurring theme in his writing (blaming black people for success of anti-gay ballot measures).
The strongest argument against Savage, not mentioned here, is that he’s biphobic. Based on the fact that he used to maintain that male bisexuals do not exist. He has now disclaimed that theory based on scientific studies. He can get a little cranky on the subject of bisexuality, but he takes a lot of flack from bisexuals so it’s sort of understandable in all directions.
Basically, he’s a normal flawed human being who sometimes writes things in an insensitive manner, other times he writes things that are wrong. I think he’s always been fairly open to criticism and acknowledging when his mind has changed and I’m completely mystified as to why he has become such a popular target from the ostensible left.
Yeah I don’t see it about Dan either, I read him religiously. Honestly he has just opened my eyes to a lot of things I used to think I should worry about and now I know I don’t need to. It’s not an exaggeration for me to say that he genuinely made me a better partner and person.
Carrying secrets is so lonely. I’m happy for her.
Legal name: Ellen Philpotts-Page. Love it.
Love it.
I really love that cover.
I understand the argument that it’s a moral imperative to come out. Also that it could be seen as an even greater imperative for people in the public eye who can influence the rest of us. I used to get impatient with some British celebs that dragged their heels over it.
But now I’m older – and hopefully have learned a bit more in the way of understanding and compassion – I just stick with the principle that coming out is an individual challenge/journey/achievement, or whatever you want to call it. And that’s whoever and wherever you are.
Good for Page. I hope she is, and continues to be, fulfilled and happy.
I feel guilty sometimes for not being completely out to everyone. I’m bi and married to a man and feel like what I’m doing is “passing” for straight when I know I’m not. I feel a lot of guilt about it
She looks great on that cover.
She does! I love her hair.
I took her comment about heels and dresses as “I don’t like fashion, and society thinks lesbians don’t like fashion, so I don’t have to talk about it anymore. Yay”. I took it as an instance where stereotyping actually was beneficial for her.
It really isn’t anyone’s business!
Coming out is ultimately something you should do for yourself. Of course it benefits others in terms of representation, and there is a truthfulness to it, but it is a nice-to-do, not to be expected of all people. You have to protect yourself and your interests first, whatever that may mean.
I took her comment in the context of “the media won’t ask me those questions anymore” b/c now she’s got a different hook for them all to hang their hats on. She’ll be the “out” interview, like Aniston’s the “babies and marriage” interview. The media’s fixation will have shifted.
I don’t know, someone needs to tell female celebrities that no one cares when they come out as gay. At all. Well press of course would like to write about something like that. But regular people don’t give a crap. I never cared about Ellen Page or some other female celebrity to be gay. It’s just funny for me when Elle is all like :Once you’ve done something that you used to think was impossible, what could ever really scare you again?”
Dear Ellen – we don’t care. We were sad when Zahary Quinto or Matt Bomer came out. Because it means women can’t dream about dating them.
You seem nice.
Oh boy.
Wow, you’re just the worst aren’t you… :/
The bow tie could’ve been a little crisper, but she’s lovely. Imagine there are lots of closeted people in hwood.