Brace yourselves. I warned you of this very terrible Swag prophecy last July when Justin Bieber reportedly landed a Calvin Klein contract. Word on the street was that CK wanted to recapture the magic of 1990s Marky Mark and Kate Moss. This was hilarious because Swaggy wants to be the next Wahlberg (in many ways), but Wahlberg can’t stand Bieber.
Swaggy built up to this campaign for years. He worked on his abs, possibly spray-tanning them for extra definition. He courted CK by refusing to pull his pants up, ever. The plan worked, and Swaggy made his first unofficial move for the brand by taking it off on the Victoria’s Secret stage as the audience booed.
Now Swaggy’s hard work reaches its pinnacle. The new ads for the Bieber CK campaign have come out, and they’re puzzling. In several of the shots, Swaggy poses with Lara Stone. In others, he appears by his lonesome with only Lil’ Swaggy to keep him company. Oooof. Is he … stuffing? The “shape” looks far too smooth and rounded to be authentic. Now you have to look and let me know whether this is real. (I’m so sorry.)
Here’s a teaser for the upcoming commercial. Swaggy plays the drums and pulls Lara toward him an an assertive manner. LMAO. The campaign is called “It Begins,” so there will be more unadulterated Swaggy to come.
Photos courtesy of Calvin Klein
Yes he is stuffing. The gross kind with soggy grapes that your looney Aunt MooMoo always brings.
Judging by the size he probably stuffed another pair of CK there.
LOL at “Aunt Moo Moo!” and yes, that boy is all sorts of stuffing. Poor little baby Biebs can’t hang with the big boys. Where’s David when you need him? His was authentic, and worth looking at.
Hey!! Thats my supermodel husband you talkin about. Lookie but no touchie 😛 😀
To be honest I think most underwear male models do stuff it so we don’t see any “prints” or specific sizes. Even those David Beckham ones don’t convince me. Everyone smoothes them.
In other news… I couldn’t care less for the ads. It doesn’t bother me.
Is that “tramp stamp”? Does Justin Bieber have a “tramp stamp”? Oh my God. HAHA!!!
Maybe. He’s certainly expanding his skank flank aka rib tattoos.
Agreed.
LOLing at the painted-on sixpack.
http://pagesix.com/2015/01/09/walhbergs-wife-slams-biebers-ck-ads-wow-the-retouching/?_ga=1.12202228.1153382579.1412179388
miley put your damn shirt on and take that dildo out of your crotch area
0_o
Who’s got the brain bleach? I fear this won’t be leaving my brain for a while.
Poor Lara, having to be clung onto by a constipated baby in diapers far too small for him.
She was probably telling herself, “a cheque is a cheque, a cheque is a cheque!”
This. I’m sure she held her breath, too. Imagine how he smells – like B.O. and Axe. Gross. I’ll bet he never brushes his teeth, either, unless forced to by mommy.
I’d personally LOVE to see the entire shoot, because you know he’s standing on a box in all of them. Hahahahahahaha!
HAHAHAHAHA – I fell off the sofa – I’m just laughing so hard!!!!! 😂
I just can’t. No.
I can’t either, but I look forward to what Kate McKinnan will do with this on SNL.
Agreed, I don’t get it- seems outdated. Unless it’s for a new unisex perfume called Derp or Le Douche.
I read that as “Derp au Le Douche.”
“He looks like Vanilla Ice,” my husband said, as he walked away, disgusted.
I thought the same thing. That’s baby Vanilla Ice.
He looks constipated.
Read D Listed and you will not stop laughing (“potty flap in the back for poopy times”).
LOL
He always has the same look on his face. Just like Zoolander. LOL
YES! That’s the younger generation’s version of Duck face!
That face he makes is so ridiculous! Why does he think it looks good? How could Calvin Klein let that face get through the review process?
He can try all he wants, but he will always be a little boy to me because he ACTS like a child.
He’s going to have so many premature wrinkles on that forehead from that face he and jaden smith do. What will he do when he’s toxed to the max and can’t do his trademark face?
Also yes, shades of vanilla ice for sure… for some years now, huh?
Lord he’s just gross. Concerning his body: I think he looks great…some people just have smaller frames and good for him on working out. But he is soooo gross and full of himself that it makes this super laughable. And I don’t know who this campaign is intended for? Teenage girls? No man is going to look at this and want to buy CK underwear.
Exactly. Who buys this stuff? Does he have any fans left? Maybe it’s to entice female fans to buy CK underwear for their boyfriends? Just general brand awareness maybe? It’s so over.
as a petite person with small bone-structure, i hate to talk smack about another person’s small bone-structure but i mean men are just more attractive with bigger frame, right? this kid has narrow shoulder that can’t be salvaged even with all that muscles. it’s unfortunate.
A very poor marketing strategy on the company’s part. All you have to do is browse the internet for a few minutes (heck, seconds!) to realize what a joke everyone thinks Beiber is. Maybe he still has a few teenage fans left, but is that the market they are trying to reach? Can’t see too many teenage girls buying tighty whities…….. I’m guessing they hired Beiber last year right before his downfall started, and they couldn’t back out of the contract? Whatever their reasoning is, it’ll never make any sense to us.
I agree, I don’t know who this is marketed to.
it makes me want to deliberately NOT buy CK, period.
It’s the arrogance that kills it. I can’t stand looking at his face, and by extension the rest of him even though objectively he looks good, because it always just RADIATES arrogance and smugness. It surrounds him like a cloud of Axe body spray and it’s just repellant.
^^^^THIS! Word for word, you completely spoke my mind.
“It surrounds him like a cloud of Axe body spray”
HA! I imagine that is exactly what he smells like.
Three words….. Bless his heart!
Well, to answer the question: It’s marketed to middle aged women. Sick, right? But true. Men in marriages and cohabiting relationships don’t buy their own underwear. Their partners/spouses do. So they market to the partners.
Gross. I feel dirty. He’s still a snot nosed little brat. Nothing sexy here, just a punk.
How this little eunuch managed to land an underwear modeling campaign is beyond me. Is this a sign of the apocalypse?
LOLOL…OLOLOL!
Frankdiabetes, I think I hear the Four horsemen… This is horrible. Even when I was 12 I would have recognised this guy was a major league douchbag. I could not really look at the pictures, a glimpse was more than enough.
lawl…you made me snort. Awesome. That was a perfect, perfect comment.
Baby Bieber trying to look sexy always seems wrong, like putting a sweater on a cat. It’s so wrong, it’s funny. I will never see him as a grown up capable of being swoon worthy, even if he’s the hottest guy on the planet, because he acts like a stupid 12 year old.
Someone in Twitter brought up the skeezery behind the whole naked muscly boys with baby faces and how we keep being sold this disconcerting mess (or Ariana grande tooting up for example) as “sexy”
Oh gawd, that explains why this feels so gross. Even worse, he looks like he is going to cry in the last pic. I can’t even find this funny.
That’s really interesting. It’s like the male version of that Bratz Doll look that I despise so much.
I agree, msw.
Very interesting, QQ! And with Beiber, not only does his face read 12 years old, his behavior does too…which intensifies the creep factor.
You know what I see when I look at Beiber’s face? A look of total arrogance. In every picture. Even if he’s trying to be “sexy”, all I see is complete arrogance.
What boggles my mind is that a company like CK would have market tested this douchebag like crazy. Swaggy must have moved the meter in some way or CK would not go with him. Seriously though – I cannot fathom Swaggy being able to sell me anything. Beckham for H&M undies? You bet. But not Swaggy.
YES! That was the image I need to replace this mess. Thank you for reminding me of Beckham’s H&M commercials. I just about licked my tv screen when they came on.
Yes, that’s what puzzles me too. Biebs is on his way out, everyone could explain that to CK. Why go with him for a big campaign? Or are campaigns created so very far in advance it’s hard to change course?
I know!!! This is going to backfire on CK big time.
They should’ve just stuck with Charlie Hunnam to be the face and body of everything forever.
I cringe at the thought of who this campaign appeals to. He still looks like a little boy.
face, body, and AZZZZZZZZ…
that man is FINE, and I don’t usually go for blonds at all.
Think I posted my first comment in the wrong place, but yeah Charlie Hunnam is all man all the time.
They should have. Charlie Hunnam is a man and has sex appeal. Justin Beiber does not.
Abbott, I think you need to march on over to Calvin Klein right now and speak your truth! Charlie would be so much better, and his other ads for the perfume were sooooo HOT. Why wouldn’t they want that fire in their underpants?
😀
Oh my god yes to the Beckham commercials.
And I agree with The A-bot that Hunnam’s magical ass would be perfect.
It is magical. I have to admit, I had a window open on my phone for a week that was a scroll through list of Charlie memes focusing on his insane body. He pushes my buttons!
In what universe you sort of replace Charlie Hunnam with Bieber? Unless CK has totally changed their production and moved it to “kids only”
And I agree with some comments above that Bieber just looks so creepy. Marky Mark was hot-hot-hot bad boy at the time of his commercial and everybody believed the image that he projected. Bieber … not so much.
As I don’t want any of my money to go to people like Justin Bieber, I have now stopped buying Calvin Klein.
This is ridiculous. Now, put Idris Elba in there and then I’d say, you’ve got somethin’.
Now, I would look at Idris Elba in CK underwear any day and everyday!!!
Oh Baby Baby… NO!
Poor Lara Stone — how embarrassing for her!
Ha! I cant believe people take him seriously! Same “duh” face he has in all of his pics. And how much more obvious is the padding down there, gah!
GAHAHAHAHAH I hate that stupid praying hands pose he always does. It’s AWFUL!
I’m praying not to see him in his undies again
This reminds me of the exercise poem my mother taught me, from the 1950s. Raise your arms to breast level in front of you with your fists touching your elbows. Then swing your elbows backwards and forwards to this poem:
We must,
We must,
We must increase our bust.
The bigger the better,
The tighter the sweater,
The boys are depending on us.
What Mother Nature has forgotten
We will stuff with Playtex cotton.
We must,
We must,
We must increase our bust.
Sheer poetry BW
So CK is looking to tap into the clueless/slack-jawed demographic, based on baby biebs’ expression, right? TAGLINE: “duh’.
CK used to have better judgment.
Agreed. Whoever is steering this campaign must be culturally clueless.
Exchange his childish face with David Beckham’s and then I might say “OK, not bad” for the rest of it. Can’t deal with his baby face.
Oh Calvin, whatever “edge” you had in the 90’s is long gone…this campaign is going to backfire big time. People will talk about it, but more in a “pointing and laughing” way, than in a way that leads to sales.
I just admit, Bieber *looks* the part. But it’s ultimately meaningless, because it is impossible to separate these photos from who he is.
Dope? Nope.
At least the girl isn’t Kendall Jenner.
From Jamie D and Beckham to this??? Words fail
BRING BACK BECKHAM! Mmm mmmm mmmmmmm.
Beckham does nothing for me. So what if he has a bulge. Have you heard him speak- or more accurately squeak…
@Anne Tommy, I don’t usually pay attention to what he says. I honestly and shamelessly objectify him.
Spoken like a red blooded woman Shambles – he never says anything interesting anyway…
still looks like a baby to me. and I’m 28.
He shows no personality anymore. I never see him in interviews at all, especially an interview to show he still has a personality or charm. No music. All you see are really juvenile, homie wannabe photos or selfies and acting out, trying to be tough. He’s become a caricature of himself and a joke.
Who is he anymore besides a gossip page or internet gossip site fixture?
Oh God – I did not need to see this while I was having my bagel and coffee – oh God – I’m going back to bed now and hitting the reset button!
The only thing I would to to him would be to slap that stupid brow off his face.
It’s amazing they haven’t learned how to photoshop away the douchebag face, but it’s like the soul insists on finding a way to tell the truth.
unless he gain weight like marky mark or grow 5 inch taller tommorow, NO. He’s not sexy
He’s got the stupid eyebrows-up-wrinkled-forehead-a-la-Jaden-Smith face that I hate SO MUCH.
His body looks okay, I guess.
*dryheaving*
He´s still a thing? Is he still making music?
I’m sure the tool is still writing songs for 12 year old girls. Of course those 12 year old girls helped him make like $80 million last year. Sick
I don’t know about that….I have a 12 year old girl and she and all of her friends think he’s “super gross”.
I think he looks like a young Vanilla Ice…no disrespect to the Ice!
Why does he always have that stupid expression on his face, like WHOT??
I think his lips are stuck in that pouty expression. I bet he drools whatever he drinks because of it. Actually, the mental picture makes me laugh: cup to mouth, wrinkled brow, liquid leaking out around the cup.
His brows drive me crazy. Relax, kid! Going to need serious Botox on his forehead by the time he’s 22. Not a good choice. He’s quickly becoming a has been who causes trouble. Ugh.
The face and hair remind me of a young K.D. Lang.
Hahahahahahaha
That’s exactly what I came to say. Hahahahahahahahaha! Omg. Hilarious.
My brain is crying, and my vagina just called the FBI to beg for a place in the Witness Protection Program. Whodafuk thought this was a good idea? I am grossed out beyond all things. I can’t believe Uncle Terry didn’t get this shoot. I mean, despite the roid bumps, Biebs looks like a young girl. Terry would be so into that. Also, why is he always making that FACE?! ugh.
So funny. Let me know what the FBI chooses as your vagina’s alias.
It’s either going to be Anastasia Beaverhausen or Idle Noxema-I like it Travolta-style.
Lol, you are adorable.
Not sexy but at least he has stopped committing crimes and getting arrested,detained,questioned,etc.
So CK is making diapers now? I just can’t with Beibers baby face and that “body”! Props to the model for hiding her laughter so well.
So. Gross. Douche canoe.
This is comedy gold. Huge downgrade for Calvin Klein but comedic gold. He looks so pained so intense….all that stuffing must have stressed him out.
Hilarious. Ridiculous. Gross.
I laughed until I CRIED at Michael K. s (DListed) take on this. He said everything PERFECTLY!!!
Pay no mind to the photoshopped abs and the OBVIOUS stuffing …. no one here has commented on the ‘manly’ treasure trail they photoshopped on him?
I’m ashamed of all of you.
I refuse to look that closely.
This pic needs to be toted out again, baby bieber being handled by his bodyguard:
http://www.celebitchy.com/314550/mark_wahlberg_to_justin_bieber_pull_your_pants_up_stop_smoking_weed_little_b–/ffn_bieber_justin_flynetuk_030813_5103280741111-4/
What is up with the wrinkly forehead thing everyone does in their pictures? Is it the new duckface? When these people are old you’ll be able to see deep crevices from all of their concerned posing.
I was baffled by how anyone on CK’s marketing team could possibly have thought this bratty toddler’s face would sell anything, but then I remembered that it’s Calvin Klein we’re talking about. Creepy sexualization of children and juxtaposing heavy sexuality with childlike qualities has been their trademark since Brooke Shields was underage. They’re still doing it, too, if you look at the ad copy for their perfumes. Seems like they’re just trying to recreate that gross magic from the 80s, because it worked out well for them back then. Nothing comes between Swaggy and his Calvins.
How old is this angry child now? Who could possibly be the target demographic for this?
Really now? Aren’t 20 year old males, the market this campaign is directed to, the people who most detest Beiber? Beckham made a lot of sense – he’s an accomplished athlete and a lot of men would love to have his life. Marky Mark might’ve been a joke back then but he looked manly. I see Bieber as marketing-poison for anything not directed to the tween female demographic. I literally don’t know a single person outside of his fan circle who has a positive opinion of him.
Anyway, everyone will be talking about this crap so I guess they did something right. But I just don’t get it. I can think of at least 50 male celebs who’d probably be up for this and would appeal to a much larger audience while still garnering some attention.
All right, I’ll say it: he looks hot. As a person? Total twerp. But Calvin Klein loves its hot assholes, and that’s exactly how they made him look. All credit to the photographer, though – Biebs on his own does nothing for me. I hate myself for it, but if I was 20ish and this was available at the bar? I’d hit it. Wouldn’t let him sleep over, but I’d call him a cab before closing the door behind him.
So agree!! 20 yr old me would totally hit it.
Wow. Way to make sure you LOSE sales.
I’m really surprised he was chosen as the model. Not just cause he’s Justin Bieber and a complete douchebag, but because he is covered in tattoos. It’s a huge distraction.
As Gender-Flexible he may be, either way I just don’t visualize him as attractive in any way. Idk why 🙂 I often want to grab my head so I don’t look surprised back when I view his signature gaze.
He’s beefed up quiet a lot in the last few years. Nevertheless, the face is still a baby. If you cut the head off, it’s actually very good to look at.
His tats are stupid looking.
Beiber & his little stuffed shorties, gag. Calvin Klein has officially become a “D” brand.
Such a tool.
Borrowing from my younger brother’s #DatNotMusic quote (an expression he uses when he finds an artist or their music crappy) I’m going to have to say #DatNotSexxi. I’m not gonna insult his body, but Justin Bieber himself does nothing for me. It’s the combination of his personality, his lack of sex appeal, and the fact that he has the face of a 15-year old. In his defense though, I don’t think his being an adult with the face of a teenager means that he shouldn’t be posing this way- he didn’t choose his young face or smaller stature. In his pics he always has this look on his face that says he’s trying so hard to look tough and sexy. He’s the kind of guy you’re attracted to when you’re in 7th grade and just beginning to think of boys as attractive. Then as you grow up, you move on to bigger and better things. There are several men- both in the real world and in the fictional world of cartoons and anime, yum- whom I’d much rather see photographed like this.
Even though he’s getting called on his crappy personality and lack of real sexiness though, he’s still kind of lucky. As a guy, he’s free to make this kind of decision without it being called exploitation/oppression and whatnot. He has that privilege.
Bad choice. It never ceases to amaze me that this tool still has a fanbase after his terrible behaviour.
LOL “Swaggy.”
Hilarious of course 😀
Always looks like he is holding in a fart!
A wonderful smear article on Justin Bieber as usual. the fact is there are countless pics and vids with Justin showing the same body features that are not airbrushed at the beach, pools, his home, the gym, etc and a lot of these are by paps who would have no reason to make him look good. Why the need to demean him? He looks good period, end of story. Now there false stories going around such as that he was a brat with the model-who AFTER the picture sessions said she enjoyed working with him and that he was nice-it’s on video. Furthermore a pic claiming to show him hardly showing a bulge is going around based on the same site that posted that lie the model found him a brat. They are using photoshopped pics and passing them off as authentic. the dishonesty of those trying to ruin this kid in gossip sites is amazing to me.
P.S. yes, I am a fan and I am not 12.
Just no.
Travis Fimmel, yes please!