Cameron Diaz on marriage: ‘I waited because I didn’t want to settle’

Cameron Diaz

I don’t know how much interest remains in the Cameron Diaz/Benji Madden nuptials (which took place on Monday night), but some sweet updates filtered out from inside sources. Yes, I flinch a little bit too when I hear the word “sweet,” but these are pretty cool details. Most of them, anyway.

In Touch published a full account of how many glitches happened at the wedding. Joel Madden (as the best man) dropped Cameron’s wedding ring during the ring exchange. Cameron tried to change into a reception dress, but she couldn’t remove her wedding gown and panicked. There was also a power malfunction immediately before Cam walked down the tented aisle. But all of the guests — including Gwyneth Paltrow, Samantha Ronson, Reese Witherspoon, and Drew Barrymore — had a great time. Lionel Richie sang at the reception, and Nicole Richie stood as the matron of honor.

The Mail got wind of the toasts exchanged at the reception. Cameron explained to the entire party why she “waited” to get married:

Cameron Diaz and husband Benji Madden tied the knot at her Beverly Hills mansion Monday evening following a nine-month romance.

MailOnline can exclusively reveal the 42-year-old actress delivered a touching toast to her 35-year-old groom, telling their 127 guests she’s happy she held out for Mr. Right.

“I waited because I didn’t want to settle,” [Diaz] said, flashing her famous mega-watt smile. “Now I got the best man ever. My special man. He’s mine.”

The tattooed musician inspired laughter when he remarked: “I only asked to be in control of two things: The music and the cake.”

Cameron was no Bridezilla, but she did lose her cool at two separate points during her special day.

When the lights flickered and went out for 10 seconds before her big bridal entrance, Diaz could be heard cursing: “S***, f***, this is f***ed up. You’ve got to be f***ing kidding me!”

[From Daily Mail]

Oh, to be a gossamer-winged butterfly on the wall when Goop encountered Sam Ronson at the reception. Can you imagine? Goop is probably the only person to address Sam as “Samantha” in person.

Anyway. Cameron’s speech inadvertently addresses my curiosity over the quick change of heart from the hardened Cameron we all witnessed a year ago. She hinted at previous proposals, right? I’m glad she waited to marry Benji instead of, say, Jared Leto. Being married to Jared would be an absolute nightmare. Not only would he be chasing randoms, but there’d be so much hair in the shower drain. Gross.

Quick quiz: Can you tell the Madden brothers apart?

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz

Benji Madden

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN

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85 Responses to “Cameron Diaz on marriage: ‘I waited because I didn’t want to settle’”

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  1. paola says:

    Yes! Benji is the one with the spider net tattoo on the elbow! that’s easy if they’re on a beach.. not so much if they’re fully dressed!

    So now Cami..what about all that crap you were feeding us about ‘no men is faithful’ and
    (I quote) ‘No one is really naturally monogamous?
    People are allowed to change their minds, in fact, only intelligent people do.. but she seems a bit of a fool now that she tied the knot so quickly.
    ANyway they seem cute together and I wish them a long and happy marriage. Anything that keeps her mouth shut about life/love/pubes is welcome.

    • MaddieH says:

      Being married doesn’t equal being faithful or being monogamous, though.

    • Ollyholly says:

      I never cared for either of them, but all the sudden I think they’re adorable together! I like this quick happy wedding. Plus, its good luck when things go wrong at a wedding! Perfect weddings are weird.

    • MMRB says:

      boom …….*a shot gun goes off*

  2. AmandaPanda says:

    Those aerial pictures are so invasive. Do we really need to see them? Ugh.

    • Debbie says:

      Or that had been her experience and so she spoke to it. I mean lets not lie she really dated some douches previously. I don’t know anything about the guy she married but he seems like a stand up guy.

      I don’t think she looks foolish or full of it I think she looks like someone who thought all men were like the losers she dated and found out she was wrong.

      Good for her on not settling, smart.

      This is in response to @poalo, sorry hit the wrong reply button

    • Esmom says:

      Agree about the aerial pictures, creepy to imagine paps trolling around the air trying to get their shots.

      • lucy2 says:

        I’m always amazed by that – is the cost of renting a helicopter really worth getting a photo of the top of a tent? Who cares!

    • Plain Jane says:

      I have been wondering about that!

  3. Eww, if she’d married Leto, a) she’d be lucky if she didn’t catch anything, and b) she’d be lucky if she wasn’t Camille 2.0 when a group of those groupies/strippers/whoever else he likes to choke w/out permission finally sues his ass.

    And is it just me, or does Cami’s face look weird? I can’t tell if it’s because of her makeup, aging badly, or fillers or WHAT…but her face has looked off to me for a few years. Or maybe I always thought she was odd looking?

    And I’m meh on her changing her mind. Shit happens when you least expect; good shit or bad shit. But from what I’ve heard/seen from her, I’m guessing she lowered her expectations because of the douches she dated. Although I think she’s a little moronic, I like that she is/was unashamed about her own sexuality, and dating. As a young person, I always feel like everything is being pushed on us, yet we (WOMEN) are expected to be pure and innocent; and not really enjoy sex, or not talk about it openly.

    • Shambles says:

      @VG on Cam’s face: I’m right there with you. She’s still a very sexy woman, but something about her face in candid photos hasn’t looked quite right to me in a while. I can’t exactly put my finger on it either– it may just be that she’s aging in the eye area and it’s kind of throwing her off. Nothing wrong with that, and props to her for not looking like a totally frozen Kat faced alien, though. Either way I totally see what you mean.

      • Someonestolemyname says:

        Maybe it’s a bit of water retention or maybe she’s just perimenepausal and it’s a bit of weight gain?
        I don’t think she looks different, just a bit more solid. She still looks great.

        Congrats to them.

    • littlestar says:

      That’s funny that you mention that about Leto – I think it’s only a matter of time for him too. Some groupy is going to come out about him choking her, and then the others will follow.

    • Thinker says:

      I like this post. Who cares if she changed her mind on monogamy, it’s her life, her opinion, her right to marry or not. It’s strange to me that people would freak out over her change of heart.

      Although I wish them the best, truthfully I do think this will end up a hot mess. Cam seems to have fallen in love with the whole of the Madden family, she’s gaining a sister-in-law whom she obviously is very fond of, and probably sees this whole thing as a big bucket of love. But Nicole and Joel had some major problems a few years ago… Just cause it’s all cupcakes and butterflies now doesn’t mean there won’t be bumps in the road. We shall see if they have what it takes to go the distance.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        NObody cares that she changed her mind. People care that she said alot of anti-marriage, anti-monogamy BS…and she said it for along time. I’m sure it was because her relationship were unhealthy and she didn’t feel loved or appreciated, but that doesn’t make it okay to spout off against things out of bitterness. Just because it hasn’t happened for somebody yet, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist and she was very much stating it doesn’t exist. She never once said she hadn’t met the right person or that she’d been in bad relationship and maybe that was the problem. No, she stated firmly over and over again that marrige is a farce, monogamy is unnatural and that wanting to be married and have a children is archaic and oppressive. People have a problem with that. I have a problem with that. Best to her, but she’s a total ding bat that I have absolutely no respect for and wouldn’t take advice from on any topic.

      • G says:

        Spot on JenniferJustice! She’d have a lot more positive comments If she hadn’t bashed marriage for so many years while “not settling” (eye roll).

      • @JJ
        You’re right. I don’t follow Cami as much, so all I really knew her for was putting out a book and not knowing the proper terms for her own genitalia, stuff about how she doesn’t want to get married any time soon, but yeah—I don’t get why people have to make big sweeping statements…….if it was me, I’d probably be honest–“Yes, I do want to get married one day. Like with all relationships and life, I don’t know if it’ll happen. I will be happy either way.”–don’t understand what’s so difficult about that.

        Personally, I definitely want kids, but I don’t think that I want a man in my life–romantically at least. Lol, I’m 20, and my 15 year old sister gets more action than me. But that could change in a year or two; who knows? But I have no shame in saying I changed my mind. Or that I was wrong. It’d have been nice if Cami’s “why I got married” speech reflected that, especially since she seems to have hooked a good one.

        And yeah–I wish her the best, but some women are….weird. Like I have an aunt that falls all over herself to do EVERYTHING for ‘mean’ guys i.e. the ones that slap her around, call her names, won’t work, etc. But if you give her a guy who works, does his best to make a family with her and her kids, tries to give her everything a legal spouse would (while just living together), she treats them like shit, and drives them away.

        Cami seems like she clings HARD to the douches, so hopefully the rest of my example won’t follow.

      • Helene says:

        Speaking from personal experience though, you can think and actually believe those things because your experience to date completely backs it up, then you meet someone else and things click and you feel totally different and start seeing flaws in your original theory. Maybe it was just that. You grow up and change your mind about stuff. Or maybe she got fed up being in longer relationships with people as she often has in the past (think Matt DIllon, Justin Timberlake) and they wind up dumping her, which probably just reinforces her ideas of anti-marriage etc. Me, I’m married, but I don’t at all think it’s necessary these days. People sometimes just do it as a gesture of love. Maybe, for now, she just feels different about this guy.

  4. Jen says:

    Throat tatoo, no way.

    • Shambles says:

      Honestly, some of the comments on recent Cam/Benji threads make me a little sad and I want to take a minute to run my mouth about it. I’ll start by saying to each their own, and everyone is allowed to be attracted to whatever floats their boat and finds their lost remote. Similarly, everyone is allowed to choose what they do not find attractive. However, the number/location of tattoos is not the measure of the man. I’ve seen quite a few comments that have come off as condescending to Benji simply because he’s very heavily tattooed, as if that’s any indicator of the character of his heart. He obviously makes Cameron very happy and treats her better than any of the men she’s been with previously, since she decided to put a ring on it (and that fast). So who is anyone to say he has “too many tattoos” or what have you? I don’t mean to project onto you, I know this is a lengthy reply and I do respect your inaliable right to find throat tattoos unappealing. I just wanted to take a moment to voice my sadness at some of the tattoo-shaming (thank you tumblr) that Ive seen pop on the Cami/Benji threads as of late.

      • aenflex says:

        Well said.

      • Kitten says:

        Yeah I agree with you completely–and I abhor tattoos.

        I know it’s a gossip site and snark is to be expected but it’s worth pointing out that a great guy is a great guy.

        I’d choose a tattooed guy that is respectful, loving, and considerate over a Ken doll dbag any day of the week.

      • Shambles says:

        @Kitten, your comment brings much happy to my heart place and “Ken doll dbag” is amazing.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        Many of us could not care less about his tattooes. Who cares? To each their own. I agree with Kitten. Pretty boys are actually extremely unattractive to me. If they spend more time in front of the mirror than I do, they can take a hike. If they worry about their hair getting messed up when somebody tries to play with them….gone!!!!

    • Bob Loblaw says:

      Tattoos are popular but they don’t appeal to everyone and they never will.

  5. Aussie girl says:

    I bet he is a nice guy but I really don’t see this lasting and hope I will eat my own words & they prove me wrong. I can see cam getting bored with him or the whole idea of marriage. Again I’m not an awful person wishing this upon them and I genially think he is a nice guy buuuuuut it’s just a feeling I get.

    • Renee says:

      You’re not the only one…see the comment below. Plus, I feel the same as both of you if I’m being honest. I just didn’t want to be the first to say it 🙂

    • Cate says:

      I just think this pregnancy is too much, too soon. Dating only a few months and then… I know he knew her since 2009, but they didn’t seem to be in touch and dating – let alone being married and raising a child together is a whole different ball game. And it’s not like he’s been gushing about her in a believable way either as we all know, so chance is, that this wasn’t planned at all. Well, the future will tell. He’s the child from a happy marriage, Sophie has said in interviews she’s not, so it could go either way in that sense. I don’t know.

    • Brittney B says:

      Oh no, the Cumberbatch comments are spilling over onto this thread!!

  6. Jegede says:

    Oh Cammy!

    Interview after interview ‘why she does not need a man’, ‘man is not a monogamous animal’, ‘marriage is over -rated’, ‘loving the single life’ (all of this while very into her 30s so can’t be dismissed as the rants of some teenager).

    Actions speak louder than words – She did not end it but held on to the very end while Timberlake, A-Rod et al treated her badly, cheated on her and completed their douchetastic ways by going on to dump her after she’d invested time with them.

    She marries this guy after 8 months and the new shtick is “I did not want to settle”.

    • Miss M says:

      I believe her.

    • Jayna says:


      That holds no water. The more honest answer for a woman of 42 is she’s broken hearts and has had her heart broken several times, but in the end it all worked out for the best because it led her to a man that made her feel adored, committed, and that he could be faithful and she wanted to commit to and the timing was perfect.

      This whole I never wanted to settle before him is bull because like you stated above, we know differently with Timberlake and Rodriguez.. Her statement puts her out there like her whole life she never loved anyone so much and never got hurt by someone she invested a lot of time with and they broke her heart. Please. People used to say that about me, that I was picky and didn’t want to settle. True, I didn’t need to be with a relationship where I wasn’t crazy about the man nor just be with someone because I couldn’t be alone, but false I was picky. Then what was everyone else? Not picky> I had had my heart broken by men that at the time I loved and didn’t want to end but they ended it. I’m glad now it didn’t last because long-term I wouldn’t have been happy and because I ended up very happy in the end.

      I hope this is one of those marriages where it just felt right and it lasts. Her statement once about moving from man to man ever three to seven years the rest of your life, monogamy not possible, made me feel sad. I hate opening myself up to someone, building a relationship, and ending and starting over and over and over again my whole life. It’s one thing in her 20s or early 30s as often you don’t even know yourself yet, but after a while it is tiring and someone gets hurt, you or the other person. I would rather be alone than going through all of that for my entire adult life.

      • Jegede says:

        My thoughts Exactly.

        Best of luck to Cameron, but again her actions in her relationships – both during and afterwards – do not at all gel with her constant proclamations.

        I think she wanted to avoid the Jen Aniston Poor me tag so made statement after statement to belie her true feelings.

        I wish her well but this new line of “I did not want to settle” is eye rolling. Just Stop

      • Great comment, Jayna. Sometimes I feel the same way–I have a VERY hard time opening up to people, even to my own family members. I don’t like addressing my “internal” problems to anyone…….I can’t imagine doing it in a relationship at this point. And if I had to keep doing…ugh. I can see how it would get tiring.

    • Talie says:

      She can change her mind, I think. She probably was never with a man who treated her well and was actually selfless when it came to a shared relationship. That can shock anyone.

      • Esmom says:

        That could be, hopefully that’s the case. I also agree with those who said she probably said all that stuff about not needing a man or to get married as a form of self-protection or to deflect endless questions from busybodies. My sister did it for my mom, saying for years that she never would get married so my mom would stop asking/feeling sorry that she wasn’t. Then when she finally did decide to get married at 40 my mom had a hard time processing the idea because she’d come to believe my sister’s shtick.

  7. MrsBPitt says:

    I’m kind of surprised that Nicole Richie was her MOH…I didn’t know they were that tight! I assumed Drew Barrymore would be. They’ve always seems super close!

    • paola says:

      I think that’s how Cameron met Benji: through Nicole Richie.
      I think they’ve been friends for a long time and are neighbours too.

    • Kiddo says:

      Maybe she didn’t feel like doing it?

    • Toot says:

      It may have been Nicole because she set Cam up with Benji, and Nicole is also married to Benji’s twin, Joel, who was also the best man.

    • Danielle says:

      Nicole is probably MoH courtesy of having played matchmaker to Cami and her bro-in-law. And also because its so dang cute to have both the twin bro and wife stand – a best couple if you will.

  8. Guesto says:

    I’m side-eyeing her “I waited because I didn’t want to settle,” – I think ‘settled’ is exactly what she’s done, albeit settled with someone who loves her and treats her with respect after years of dating sleazeballs.

    But anyway, I have a soft spot for Cammie and hope it all works for them.

  9. Louise177 says:

    I doubt that these details are true. Cameron seems so breezy and laid back that I doubt she’s go into hysterics over getting stuck in her dress or the lights going out. When it comes to tabloids they always paint women as emotional, over-reactors.

    • Artemis says:

      Cameron seems so breezy and laid back

      Nah, the fact that she likes douchebags speaks volumes about her character. There’s only so much bullshitting and fighting over the same things one can take. And she took it most of her life. She always dated non-committal men who would cheat, lie, put their own needs above anybody else.

      Exhibit A: when her and Timberlake split and they met an event, there was a fight at some point when he was chatting to Biel:,,20008720,00.html

      Exhibit B: the feud between her and Kate Hudson around 2010 over two men: Timberlake and A-Rod. Hudson had a fling with JT after Diaz split with him so to get back at Hudson, it was claimed that Diaz started seeing A-Rod. Two ‘free-spirited’ women who were quite desperate at times.

    • Someonestolemyname says:

      She was quoted, I believe she did say those expletatives, it sounds like Cameron.
      I still love her, wish her the best.

    • Meghan says:

      I can see her cursing about the lights going out, but in a joking way…. like “are you effing serious?” but taking it in stride. She seems like a person who could look back and laugh about the little mishaps that can occur on your wedding day.

      I tend to think the getting stuck in the dress part was fabricated… I mean, wouldn’t she probably have a stylist and people on hand to help with such situations?

  10. Sara says:

    I always thought she screwed up when she dumped Matt Dillon. I still think she should have married him when she had the chance. He was the best out of all of them by far.
    The grass is not always greener on the other side. And I her case, it was not. She reminds me of many girlfriends who think they can get better and wind up leaving the right/good person and spending the remaining days dating losers and then marrying the last one out of fear of being alone.
    I hope she is happy, but I think she settled and could have done way better.

    • Renee says:

      I think that he didn’t want to settle down. I remember her making a comment along the lines of, when someone doesn’t want to grow up and move away from their family…I don’t remember it exactly but I think that was the case.

    • LT says:

      Matt Dillon wasn’t the best one if he wasn’t the best one for her. Just because a guy looks better on paper doesn’t mean he’s the better match.

      • Sara says:

        Matt Dillon has stated many times after they broke up that he wanted to marry and have kids and she didn’t and that’s why she dumped him. She wanted to have fun etc. and not settle down.

        Matt Dillon was/is still fine and the best one out of the rest. Much better than Timberlake or Leto.

    • olly says:

      I still remember a magazine that she and Matt Dillion did together. They were gorgeous together. I just googled to check if he did eventually get married and have kids, doesn’t seem to be the case.

    • Someonestolemyname says:

      Me too, I loved her with Matt Dillon.

      • whatever says:

        Matt Dillon was dating all kinds of ridiculous way younger women all around New York when I was in grad school there a decade ago. He even dated the cousin of one of my friends. He was a big club guy – party guy. Not a great guy at all. Yuck. Bullet dodged, Cameron.

  11. scout says:

    LOL! But she did settle.
    Good luck to them though, sometimes it works out, who knows.

  12. jen says:

    I’m actually really, really hoping this works out… She’s been with a lot of toads, I hope she found her prince.

  13. Carrie says:

    Hey, more power to her I guess. If she feels that Benji isn’t ‘settling’ then who am I to judge her. Maybe it’s because I was a Good Charlotte fan in high school, but I really don’t mind him. He may not be everybodys cup of tea (who is?) but he and his brother do both care a lot and do a lot for their family now that they have the means to do so. TLDR don’t judge a book by its cover I guess.

  14. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    Meh. Congrats. Hope it works out.

  15. Dani says:

    Joel is on the left, Benji is on the right. Benji has knuckle tattoos, and is shorter. I miss 2000’s GC. Good times.

  16. littlestar says:

    I really like Cameron Diaz so I am very happy for her! I hope it works out for them.

  17. kri says:

    The aerial shots of the bridal walkway look like a giant maxi pad.

  18. original kay says:

    I don’t care she married, might be a hypocrite, got married fast, blah blah
    I don’t care about his tattoos or even who he is (who is he?)

    I simply cannot believe a grown man goes by the name “Benji”.

  19. ella says:

    Oh, honey. Dare we hope that this will put an end to her constant advice-giving on how to be single and fabulous?

  20. someone says:

    I think Cameron had to get to the point in her life where she could say “to heck with other people’s opinions” and date a guy that is non-traditional. Up until Benji she had a type – hot famous guy. And let’s face it – Benji is not a hot famous guy. He may have a heart of gold but the dude is homely. It’s nice that Cameron was able to look past that and see that he was the right guy for her.

    My biggest question is: she rethought the whole “not getting married” thing so will she now rethink the “no kids” thing too? Wouldn’t be surprised if she and Benji were already working on babies.

    • Jayna says:

      Benji actually isn’t homely. Those stupid caps turned sideways for years now do nothing for him, nor the way he dresses. He looks like he’s never grown up. His other hats can be cool He has a nice face, though. Although, he went too far with the tattoos. His neck and whole torso covered is a turnoff to me. His brother has less tattoos. You can still see some of his skin.

      This is a photo looking more normal.

    • JenniferJustice says:

      Whaaaa? You think Timberlake is better looking that Benji? In the face? We’re not talking about popularity or fame here. We’re talking about physical features and I’m sorry, but JT has got to be one of the ugliest men out there. He is talented in so many ways, but he is not good-looking in the face…like not at all. ARod is not good-looking in the face either. Nice body, but that’s it. Benji is simply non-traditional. He’s more the Alternative Generation and he looks it. I don’t think he’s bad looking at all. Maybe not an Adonis, but he’s not ugly by any means….of course, not in my book. We all have our own weird attractions.

      • Esmom says:

        Yeah, I’ve never found JT even remotely attractive (and ARod gives me the willies). And Kathy Griffin feels the same…one line of hers that always stuck with me was she thought JT looked like “someone’s dweeby little brother,” when wondering about his apparent attraction.

    • someone says:

      Everyone has their own tastes, but Justin Timberlake was on People’s Sexiest Men Alive list in 2008 and Alex Rodriquez was on one of their Sexiest Athletes lists. Your own opinion may vary lol. I agree that the tats and scruff beard and weird hats may be throwing me off on Benji so perhaps I’m not seeing past that.

    • Zwella Ingrid says:

      I don’t know where you are getting that he is homely. Dude is not bad, looks better to me than JT or ARod. Or Matt Dillon for that matter. None of them are good looking guys.

  21. claire says:

    As a grown woman, I could not see dating a grown man that dresses like a 14-year-old suburban skater boy. Just no.

  22. Tiffany says:

    I envy that backyard. That is get off my a** and run around all day, everyday backyard. Oh, and also the house.

    • Esmom says:

      Seriously. It’s hard to tell where her estate ends and another one might begin but yeah that’s like a small village!

  23. me says:

    Such a quickie courtship, quickie engagement, and now quickie wedding. What gives? Do they want kids soon or something? You’d think she’d take it slow as that’s what she’s been doing. He’s been engaged before to Sophie Monk if I’m not mistaken.

  24. Sarah B says:

    I met the Madden brothers about 14 years ago, in the prime of their fame. I was a teenager at the time, and they were very, very sweet, Benji in particular. I was so shy, yet when I told him my name, Benji perked up and showed me his bumble bee tattoo on his arm that he got for his sister Sarah. It takes a kind person to go out of their way to make a 14 year old, awkward, chubby teenager feel at ease or special. Maybe he’s the first kind person she’s ever dated, because admit it, she’s had a long line of douchenozzles.

    • Kori says:

      Aw that’s a sweet story. I’ve always heard good things about him though he was pretty quiet gossip wise. Good for her and them. Hope they’ll be happy.

  25. Toby says:

    As a big fan of Mark Ronson and a follower of his and to some extent his siblings i have to say that samantha ronson and goop chatting is not as farfetched as you may think.
    Sam is friendly with Chris martin and goop. Goop has often hired her as a DJ. Sam was weirdly one of the first people Goop followed when she joined twitter lol.
    I think a lot of people only see sam in light of her relationship with Lilo . However she and her brother was brought up in manhattan in a very rich family. They went to fancy private schools and was brought up in the same over privileged environment as Goop. Sam is according to Joel Madden the one who was matchmaker between him and Nicole Richie.

  26. ms. lisa says:

    First thing I thought when I read the headline: “WTF.”

    That’s it.

  27. spaniard says:

    I’mm happy for Cameron Diaz. I’ve always been a fan and always will be married or single. If she is happy, Who Cares? I’ve changed my mind a lot of times during my life about important things. It is called evolve I think and there is nothing wrong with that.

  28. jazzy says:

    Didn’t settle, my butt. A guy who is engaged to every woman he dates for 5 minutes, then has been dumped by them by 3 months has plenty issues.