Justin Bieber’s huge muscles cover Men’s Health: hot or hilarious?

Justin Bieber

In a move that surely predicts the worst selling magazine issue ever, Justin Bieber covers the April issue of Men’s Health. The magazine seems to realize the futility of this editorial snafu — they titled their feature, “Why Is Justin Bieber on the Cover of Men’s Health?” What an excellent question.

This cover feature is part of Swaggy’s ongoing redemption tour, although I’m not sure he’s preaching to the right demographic. This is some hefty photoshop on the cover, right? As with the Calvin Klein ads, Bieber truly wants us to think he’s ripped, but look at this fantastic picture of a boxing Bieber. The trainer is barely flexing to hold off the blows!

Justin Bieber

The interview is kinda, like, fussy. Bieber, like, uses the word “like” a lot. Especially when he talks about his massive muscles:

On becoming a man: “There’s a part of me that I don’t ever want to grow up. I want to always remain … to have that sense of purity inside of me where I don’t … I don’t want to lose that sense of purity.”

His insanely ripped body: “Yeah, you know I’m just getting bigger, man. It’s like, my shoulders don’t fit in some things.”

The struggle is real, yo: “[It’s] almost like I grew up for the public but I didn’t necessarily grow up. There were things I had to do, as far as the way I had to make relationships, and conversation, but as far as actually growing up, there were a lot of things I missed out on.”

On romance: “I’m very much a relationship guy. I like to bounce ideas off the person that I love. I like having a real connection …”

An obligatory mancrush: “Ben Affleck. I think his vibe is cool.”

His body art: “Like the tattoos and stuff? Maybe that’s like a cover for me being a softy. I want ‘LL’ tatted right here [chest]. When you’re Low, Lift. Because we often want to keep our heads down. But we should lift our heads.”

[From Men's Health]

Most of what he says is utter crap, of course. I’ve wondered before if Bieber’s resorted to steroids, but who knows. I do think he’s taking advantage of strategic spray tanning and lots of airbrushing. He doesn’t seem like the type to stay consistent in the gym and maintain the correct diet to build lean muscle. Men’s Health released a behind the scenes video in an effort to prove this is 100% Swaggy’s body, but I’m not buying it. These 40-pound dumbbells must be hollow. You can see more of the shoot here.

Justin Bieber

Photos courtesy of Peter Hapak/Men’s Health, Fame/Flynet & WENN

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87 Responses to “Justin Bieber’s huge muscles cover Men’s Health: hot or hilarious?”

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  1. paola says:

    Ugh.

  2. Jay says:

    I love waking up to idiocy like this. Gets me set for the rest of the day.

    • Hope says:

      Me too! I literally guffawed from the bathroom this morning. My fiance was all “what the hell was that about?!” when I came out. I showed him the picture on my phone and we had a hearty chortle. It was a nice way to start the day. At least we can be grateful to baby Biebs for that!

  3. Allie says:

    “Yeah, you know I’m just getting bigger, man. It’s like, my shoulders don’t fit in some things.”

    Time to move out of the kid section, then, baby bieber!

  4. Beckysuz says:

    He will never not look like an overgrown toddler to me

  5. NewWester says:

    Between Justin and Kim K they must control most of the photoshop industry in entertainment. One fail from the photoshop, his treasure trail is not evenly distributed. But they added more hair in his armpits.I have seen hairless cats with more hair

    • Snazzy says:

      OMG I hate you right now because I went back up to look at the pic after reading your comment. Now I feel like I need to disinfect my eyes

      • NewWester says:

        Just think of puppies , kittens, wild flowers or a tropical island that helps. If not I can give you the rest of my eye bleach

      • Hakura says:

        @NewWester – For some reason I can’t begin to explain, your mention of ‘a tropical island‘ only brought to mind the image of Beiber vacation photos wandering around in swim trunks, on an island my bank account will never see fit to send me to. x___x The intense UNsexiness of this child has poisoned my mind.

    • Duchess of Corolla says:

      +1

  6. Sandy123 says:

    Beyond lol-worthy.

  7. MonicaQ says:

    There’s no more photoshop left in the world. Bieber, Beyonce, Madonna, and Kim Kardashian stole it all.

    Seriously I know a few guys that buy Men’s Health (ok, they’re festival rave-bros who want to “like get totally like shredded for EDC, bro. Sun’s out–guns out!”) and they are probably NOT going to want this issue. Yeesh.

    • FLORC says:

      OMG we know the same guys.
      Those are the guys who read and subscribe to Men’s Health i suppose. Still, I bet they would read the diet and exercise part of the article. Then compare their own routine. They do all seem to be so intent on making their body not fit properly into shirts. The obsession seems gross to me.

      Bieber is lame in a true sense.

      • MonicaQ says:

        And then they never work out their legs so they look like a dorito on toothpicks. I’ll never understand it.

      • Victoria1 says:

        Man I’ve been craving Doritos hardcore… mmm Doritos

      • FLORC says:

        Lol YES!
        And heaven forbid they do even a moment of cardio! Because that’s not something they need unlike the excess muscle keeping their shirts stretched out.
        It’s all about protein until it’s about the alcohol. Yup, we know the same guys alright.

        And Doritos? Yuck!

  8. Senaber says:

    Bahahaha look that that tiny toddler head on that weird roidy body. So strange looking! He looks so tiny in that boxing pic too. should have had the other guy kneel or cropped out of the pic. Is that the “carrying toddler” bodyguard?

    • booboobird says:

      hahahahaha…was going to say the same how totally disconnected the head from his body looks. somebody playing with photoshop.
      and the pic of him hitting the bag all poser-y. the guy holding the bag looks like he can hardly contain the giggles

    • Hakura says:

      THIS. My very first thought was that it looks like the head was cut from a stupid selfie & stuck on someone else’s body… Brought to mind the way some teens will do that & tape it to their wall to ‘encourage themselves’. I’ve messed with photoshop (not for photos, but other artistic reasons), & even *I* could do a much better job with a photo than this.

  9. Jenny says:

    I know this sounds mean but biebs needs to shoot some steroids or somethin. He’s extremely dumb he can’t afford to be so small

  10. Loopy says:

    He is lifting 40 pound dumb bells and not even flinching?

    • booboobird says:

      inflatable 40 pounds

    • Nerdmomma says:

      Well that picture is strategically cropped so you can’t see he has help on both sides

      • FLORC says:

        He should have help. Should an injury occur weights can cause real damage. This is common sense. Those aren’t feathers.
        I hate i’m kind of defending him here.I won’t attack him having spotters. That’s reasonable.

    • Catk says:

      I’m a chick, and I can do 40-lb chest presses. Given, not a set of 20 or anything, but a good set of 8.

      He is not impressive. He should be able to press his weight, which is what, 105? Plus his ego adds a other 50lb.

      • Wachick84 says:

        EXACTLY! 80 lbs is not something that he should be advertising to get that ripped.

    • FLORC says:

      I believe this picture. 40lbs free weights are not an unbelievable amount. His arms day to day seem to look like 40lbs is reasonable.
      And flinching doesn’t happen on the 1st few reps. I’ll rip on Bieber all day long, but won’t drift into fiction for ammo. There’s no reason to.

    • Zigggy says:

      40 is not that heavy, especially for a man.

  11. Adrien says:

    He looks good. Nice body. He doesn’t look like a 5’4″ guy.

  12. Charle says:

    He lost me at the purity part. Him? Hahahaha! What crap is this douchebag eating because he seems muddled.

    Noel Gallagher will have a field day with this fool!

    • Mintessence (the original Minty) says:

      I literally laughed out loud when he talked about his purity. He lost that a while ago. Hmm…was the final death rattle of his purity the time when the paps caught him trying to sneak out of that Brazilian brothel? Or maybe earlier, when he allegedly paid off (at least) two women who claimed he fathered their children.

      Yup, still an asswipe.

  13. Bichon says:

    –kinda sad–

  14. Kris says:

    Those dumbells r probably smarter then him

  15. BRE says:

    you need to always include the picture of his bodyguard holding this baby back. It will never get old!

  16. snowflake says:

    headline is deceiving, that’s photoshop not dbag’s muscles. they airbushed his acne away

  17. pretty says:

    bahahaha he has that unfortunate face that’s never masculine.

  18. maeliz says:

    Sorry Beibs, you’re not Peter Pan. You have to grow up. You can’t use your youth for excuses any longer.
    He got made fun of big time for the fake muscles in the ck ad, why would he do this faking again?

  19. Josefa says:

    Yeah, this will definitely go down in history as one of the worst cover choices in recent history. Nobody stands Bieber – musclehead 20 year old frat boys in particular detest him. And that’s exactly MH’s demographic. This is Kimye’s Vogue all over again.

  20. Yup says:

    His eyes look very sad and dead. That’s the first thing I noticed.

  21. Mindy says:

    Hitting a heavy bag without having gloves, or at the very least, having your hands wrapped is a good way to BREAK them. Keep ‘punching’ that bag, Bieber. PLEASE.

  22. Really says:

    This may be old news, but years ago a comment said he looked like someone’s lesbian aunt, and since then that’s all I ever see. ( Sorry to lesbian aunts everywhere)
    And funny (sad?) little side story: when I started working at my job a few years ago, a relative of Justin’s worked there, and all the new people were always told about it and how he had gotten a gazillion twitter followers just for being related to him, etc. Now, it is never mentioned. Ever.
    Same thing happened at my husband’s work with a relative of Avril Lavigne.

  23. SamiHami says:

    This kid couldn’t be hot if you set him on fire.

  24. kri says:

    I feel barfy. Someone help me. He is the male baby prostitute to Ariana Grande. They both creep me out. Please put them back in their Bratz Teen Hooker Doll Special Edition boxes.

  25. Susan says:

    My mind just keeps wondering back to the Kate McKinnon, SNL Calvin Klein photo shoot skit.

  26. Michelle says:

    I know his people flipped out over his unedited Calvin Klein pictures leaking, but these people REALLY need to stop trying to show this kid as 2x’s the size he actually is. One can literally Google his name and see how tiny, feminine and dainty he actually is, so either stop trying to make people believe he is this muscular, masculine guy or stop putting him in positions where a muscular, masculine guy is expected. The cover of this magazine could not be any more photoshopped; Bieber is half that size. He claims to be 5’9 but I’ve read he is really only 5’5 or 5’6 on a good day, therefore he doesn’t even have the frame to be as muscular as they’re trying to portray him as. I have a theory that Bieber needs hormone therapy because I just don’t think everything can be 100% for him to be his age and still look so feminine. Just saying.

    If I were to ever question if Justin is as dumb as he seems, the snippet of this interview included here confirms that he absolutely is. “Like, my body is growing” WOW.

    • Hakura says:

      @Michelle – “If I were to ever question if Justin is as dumb as he seems, the snippet of this interview included here confirms that he absolutely is…

      I was particularly fond of this part: “His body art: “Like the tattoos and stuff? Maybe that’s like a cover for me being a softy. I want ‘LL’ tatted right here [chest]. When you’re Low, Lift.

      When asked about his ‘body art’, his response is to ask ‘like, the tattoos?’ No, Justin. We mean the photoshop. Like, of your body. Body-art. And when I first read his answer, I couldn’t tell if he was trying to make stupid muscle-head joke with the ‘lift’ aspect. -__-’ Oy. It’s not even *fun* to ‘rip’ on him anymore (yes, I just did that, leave me alone xD), he just makes it too easy to truly enjoy.

  27. Yeses says:

    They have photoshopped him into a parade float….small head, exaggerated body…feels like he can just float off the cover into the sky and disappear…that expression is almost cartoonish..

  28. nikzilla says:

    that pose makes his fitness look even more phoney. also, that interview is hilarious. poor guy is just a puppet, he doesn’t even know who he is.

  29. FingerBinger says:

    The trainer looks hotter. He should be on the cover.

  30. WTF says:

    Remember that movie Beetlejuice, where he sprinkles that powder over you and your head shrinks but you still have this cartoonish-ly large body? That’s what I see here.
    I don’t care what anyone says, this is photo-shopped.

  31. Sylvia says:

    Beaver is a joke. He will never be considered a man no matter what LOL.

  32. Linda says:

    I am happy I am from Canada and am also happy Beiber is a present FROM Canada to the US. Its so nice here now without him.

    • Hakura says:

      Hey now! Probably the greatest atrocity Canada has ever committed. Were the US not mixed up in unpleasant things elsewhere in the world, I’m sure we may have declared war. Sadly that was not the case & we’re now stuck seeing THIS on our news stands. Thanks, Canada. (/sarcasm xD)

  33. word says:

    I saw a video this week on some entertainment show. It was of him and his friends celebrating his bday. He had his shirt off and he did NOT look like that. They photoshop women to hell, why not men too?

    • FLORC says:

      Yea, saw that too on TMZ. He’s also flexing here with heavy photog tricks.
      Thing is Bieber is still a bratty manchild. He needs to mature in his actions.

  34. Shannon says:

    Why does he always looked confused???? Why with the brow lifting??? WHY???!!!!

  35. Katy says:

    I started routinely lifting about 12 weeks ago. I can bench 115…(granted, I’m using a bar which is eaiser than dumbbells)
    My husband, who really is a beef cake, uses 115lb dumbbells!!
    Bieber makes me giggle! I love that he is really trying to convince us he is ripped, strong, manly and mature!

  36. Emily C. says:

    I don’t care how many abs he has now and whether the muscles are real or not. He seems to think muscles will make him a man, and make people forget that he’s a spoiled little baby. Um, no. That mindset shows that he’s still the same immature, dangerous douche he always was.

  37. Audra says:

    I wish I could post a gif of someone projectile vomiting.

  38. jwoolman says:

    I’m really baffled by the cover. The last thing I think of in connection with Bieber is good health. He doesn’t seem healthy to me, emotionally or physically.

    His size isn’t the problem and neither is his young appearance (neither of which he can help, and it’s rather insulting to men who also look young and/or are not considered tall to keep blasting him about it, not to mention all the women being insulted by sneering that he “looks like a girl” or “he looks like a lesbian”). There is so much about his behavior that is blastable, why focus on things set by genetics and irrelevant to maturity?

  39. Teru says:

    Can someone tell Justin that these days basically every male celebrity has muscles and ripped body. Because it’s so ridiculous how he is acting like he is first cleebrity out there with muscles.

    Also no. No matted how many steroids he will take – he can do nothing with his baby face. It’s like face of 16-years old was phoshoped there. He literally looks like his face was thotoshoped in picture.

  40. kitty-bye says:

    Why is he being roasted when he is so young? He is extremely youthful looking. I don’t see the appeal. Teen mag maybe.