Carole Middleton is the third person in Prince William & Kate’s marriage

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When then-Kate Middleton was establishing herself as “the last girlfriend standing” for Prince William (at some point, she had just successfully waited out everyone else), the British press at the time told everyone that Kate had won her prize because she had never put a foot wrong, that she had always known what she wanted and how to get it. She was seen as some as a manipulator, using patience instead of ultimatums and obsequiousness instead of personality. What we know now is that whatever happened during those nine years of courtship, Kate was barely the architect of the romance. Her mother certainly advised Kate (successfully) and helped move many of the pieces into place.

So, as we’re coming up on Will & Kate’s fourth wedding anniversary (and the birth of their second child), how was the long-term planning of Camp Middleton? What has become more and more obvious with each passing year is that Camp Middleton didn’t really plan much beyond “getting the ring.” Kate was a 29-year-old woman-child when she married William, still running home to her mother at the drop of a hat. And after four years, Kate has even grown tired of making the trip to Casa Middleton, so Carole and Michael have pretty much decamped to Anmer Hall so that they can take care of Kate and William for months to come. The Daily Mail has a new, epic breakdown of what’s going down at Anmer. Some highlights:

*Carole does everything: Carole is the one shopping for the new baby’s nursery. She’s making William’s “favourite snack of cheese on toast to eat in front of the television in the evening. And Carole who stocks up on his favourite sea salt chocolates.” Carole is the one “who knows how the flowers should look, which scented candles should be lit and which drinks to serve.”

*William “seems to relish” having Carole & Michael there. One source says Will and Kate “formed ‘an insular unit’ with her parents ‘in which they are quite happy with a quiet life with each other…You could say that Kate and William, unlike most couples with a set of in-laws, feel most at their ease and happiest with her parents around. Tensions dissipate and there’s a party atmosphere.’”

*Three people in a marriage: One source says, “There are three people in that marriage, a result of Kate feeling quite ill at the beginning of this pregnancy and exhausted all the way through. She has relied on Carole. If the Middletons have hijacked the Cambridges, then one can only say that William rather likes it.”

*Carole treats William like a king: “For her, William is still royal and slightly on a pedestal. She’ll gently back his view over Kate’s all the time.”

*Carole gets a say in everything: “Kate and William can be grand, of course, but they love it when Carole brings them cheese on toast or perhaps something less calorific for Kate in front of Downton Abbey. She helps with every decision, from what tie William should wear to an engagement to what curtains the new nursery at Anmer Hall should have. Kate is a perfectionist but is too tired to keep it up while pregnant and trusts her mother’s taste — she learned everything from her.”

*Will & Kate don’t even go out these days: The Mail says, “Apart from the odd royal engagement, they live a very quiet existence, rarely seeing friends or even — as has been noted recently — Prince Charles. Even Zara Phillips, George’s godmother, has not seen them often. Her baby, Mia, hasn’t had playdates with Prince George, as might have been expected.”

*William loves Carole’s attention to detail: “He is in thrall to her capabilities, her tenacity, high-energy levels, her superb organisational skills and her networking. She above anyone else knows what makes Kate happy, what type of staff she will gel with, and understands her overriding need for loyalty and privacy. Carole leaves nothing to chance.”

[From The Daily Mail]

Sources also tell the Mail that Kate is currently splitting her time between London and Anmer Hall, but will permanently relocate to Anmer after she gives birth, and Carole and Michael are going to officially move in with them for several months (at least). This reminds me of something else I’ve heard: that the Queen was somewhat appalled when then-Lady Diana Spencer had no idea what went into running a successful household. It sounds like Kate really doesn’t know how to do it either, but instead of learning from her mother, Kate just outsources everything to Carole indefinitely. Here’s what I sort of love though: I get the feeling that William probably would have been happier if he had just married Carole. Seriously, she’s doing EVERYTHING for him, to make him happy. She even takes his side when he’s fighting with Kate. God, I would be so pissed with my mother if she took anyone’s side but mine.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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241 Responses to “Carole Middleton is the third person in Prince William & Kate’s marriage”

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  1. olly says:

    Mama’s girls, every bit as annoying as mama’s boys.

  2. notasugarhere says:

    I find the relationship between these three Disturbing at best.

    • RocketMerry says:

      +1.
      They’re just plain weird. I really can’t imagine him becoming ruler of a country.

      • Miran says:

        Thank God the royal family are figureheads only.

      • FLORC says:

        Miran
        But they aren’t. They have real power and do use it. Mostly behind the scenes and also to protect themselves from what they do behind the scenes being revealed. Here and there things do get out and it’s more than enough to know not only do they have real power written into law, but they have used it to their benefit.

    • Splinter says:

      I wouldn’t call it disturbing, but slightly wrong. While having loving and supporting parents is by no means wrong, there can only be one lady of the house. The power balance between Kate and her mother seems to be in favour of Carole, so although supporting an subtle and fun she never gives Kate the space to grow up and become independent. There has to be a way between cold royal upbringing and the Middletons still feeding their adult children.

    • Sammi says:

      Why? If all three of them are happy this way, what possible business is it of anyone else?

    • MooHoo says:

      what is weird about it? he obviously enjoys the easy family atmosphere that Kate and her parents offer him. This story in the mail is obviously just to stir up some shit between the Middletons and the royal family. Furthermore, as they are so famously protective of their private lives, we can safely say that most of this story is bull.

  3. Birdix says:

    I’ve known several mothers like this– a little bit tiger mom, a little bit traditional. Caught between the generation that encourages their daughters to believe the world is their oyster and the older generation that still thinks the man is always (more) right and should be served. These types do not take well to divorce because both sides of them see it as a failure (on their daughter’s part).

    • notasugarhere says:

      And how is Michael faring during all of this, while his wife is dancing attendance on her son-in-law and treating him like the center of the universe?

      • LAK says:

        Michael, like all such husbands, retires to the shed/study/garden….take your pick. It’s probably not worth the aggravation to step in.

      • bettyrose says:

        The article actually says that Michael is tackling the garden mole problem or something.

    • MinnFinn says:

      Birdix – I’m inclined to believe that Carole siding with Willy is 100% subterfuge and 0% traditional view of men. Aspiration, manipulation and enamoration (not a word, I know) drive all her behavior when it comes to the future POW.

      Absent those motivators, I’d still need convincing that Carole has an ounce of traditional view of men b/c she came of age during the height of the 1960′s feminist movement. Her age cohort initiated that era’s movement. And on this side of the pond, her contemporaries are still the most fire-y feminists I’ve ever met.

      • bettyrose says:

        MinnFinn –
        I absolutely agree with you that Carole is motivated by ambition rather than any nostalgia for tradition. The net result though is still her pushing her daughter to pursue marriage before career. Jane Austen’s characters had no choice in the matter, but still managed to achieve sharp wits, good friendships, and identities beyond wife.

      • DaysandNightsonair says:

        @ bettyrose

        Excellent comparison: Middleton girls vs. Jane Austen’s characters.

        Boy this will come down should Kate ever chose to face her mother in battle or should her parents … .

  4. Savina says:

    I am just curious how long this will last. No man worth his salt can deal with this arrangement for long. Which makes me think, what kind of a man is William. I can’t bring myself to call him PRINCE. He embodies nothing princely, except for his blood line, as far as I am concerned.

    • Nicole says:

      You have apparently confused actual princes with Disney princes. All you need is the blood line. You don’t even need a good chin.

    • Savina says:

      I’m not referring to his looks. I was referring to his lack of being able to hone in on a job and stick with it, his lack of appreciation to the world he was born into (he could do so much good) and his lack of ability to connect with the people he will one day rule over (albeit symbolically).

      Also, I’m very close to my mother. Stayed with my parents after the birth of my first child, although mine was a difficult delivery, BUT I like to run my own household and call the shots (with my husband) in our home. This situation is very strange. What will happen when Will and Kate move into BP? Will the inlaws move in as well??? Habits are hard to break and I see habits forming.

      • notasugarhere says:

        I think he’s psychologically stuck as a teenager, developmentally frozen at the age he was when his mother died.

      • blueb says:

        I don’t know about that… I remember a couple of years ago when William was hugely popular and everyone was like “Let’s just skip over Charles and let William be the next in line” and now Charles seems to be more popular than William… I think Charles had a talk with his son and William has stepped back so his father can be the favored one in public opinion. If William and Kate stepped up their game, they would blow Charles out of the water and he knows it.

      • notasugarhere says:

        They all set their own schedules. Charles is not holding them back. They are choosing to be this lazy. As someone wrote, this article infantilizes W&K and makes them look incapable of handling even a privileged everyday life. He wouldn’t blow Charles away if he stepped up his game. He’s shown how incompetent he is at his role with the number of mistakes he made in Japan and China. He has a great deal to learn, and he isn’t going to learn it hiding in Anmer getting cheese toast fed to him by Carole.

      • LAK says:

        I think people wanted William over Charles based on a false mirage. Until his wedding which was a coming out of sorts, most people didn’t have any solid information about him, nor rumoured gossip about him.

        Faced with a vacuum, most people assumed he’d be like his mother and given her popularity, that was preferable to Charles.

        Once people had a proper look at him, and Kate, Charles and Camilla didn’t look so bad afterall.

        The only people Charles has asked to step back are his siblings. His way forward plan of streamlining the royals boils down to his immediate family and himself.

        The trouble as I see it, is that they operate as separate, independent entities rather than one united, centrally controlled firm. Since William doesn’t want to step forward, as he has told us repeatedly, and Charles apparently doesn’t wish to rein him in, we have a situation where William has/is disappeared/disappearing from the national conscious. For an institution that relies on public opinion to stay in place, William’s actions are not helpful, and I can’t see Charles, a man who plays the long game, being so short sighted that he would ask the jewel of his monarchy to remain in the background.

      • blueb says:

        Those are really good points, I guess that for some reason I really like Will and Kate and I want to defend them but that is getting harder and harder to do…

      • Ally8 says:

        Consistently, the most popular royals are the ones the public knows the least about… who just show up, smile, don’t say a word.

        It could be a testament to their revealing their stupidity when they do speak, or to our willingness to project so many wonderful qualities on rich, white, powerful people when they don’t express anything.

      • Savina says:

        LAK, well said.

      • Inner stillness says:

        LAK so well put.

  5. Nicole says:

    Those Royal boys do seem to like a pretty girl to pose with and a matriarch back home. Just say’n. *cough cough*

    • PHD Gossip says:

      I think you make a valid point.

    • Suze says:

      Bingo.

    • Savina says:

      Hahaha. THAT was funny.

    • Sharon Lea says:

      That’s what I thought when I read this article, Carole has the role that Camilla played for Charles – how bizarre. Seriously.

    • ctkat1 says:

      Very funny, but you make a good point. I wonder if not having that “motherly” figure in their lives (with the Queen not really being what one could describe as a hands-on mother and Diana dying when William was young, neither has a mother to turn to for the types of things Carole is doing for William) makes them yearn for it. Whatever the situation is between Carole and Kate, William clearly approves of it- you cannot make me believe that Kate calls any of the major shots in that relationship- and enjoys it.
      And Charles…well, he seems very happy with Camilla.

      • Jib says:

        I’ve thought for a while that Kate is stressed over her role and that Carole is the one who wanted this for her all along. I don’t think kate would survive in this life without her mother behind her, pushing her and supporting her. Also, I think both William and Kate, if this story is true, are being infantalized by Carole so she can be the boss and call the shots. Of course, she supports William over her daughter!! What better way to gain his favor than to always be on the side of the man who lost his mother when only a teen? Unconditional love, where he can never be wrong!

        If Carole had the best interest of her daughter in mind, she would give help, but also back off enough to let her daughter grow up and deal with her own life. But she doesn’t. She wants the access to power herself.

  6. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    William was very young when he lost his mother, as was my husband. My husband is much more mature than William in every way, including age, and a much finer person, in my opinion, but what they do have in common is a close relationship with their mother-in-law. I adore my mother and so does my husband. She is a very nurturing, energetic, motherly woman who makes sure when we visit that she is stocked up with both of our favorite treats, including several homemade goodies. I think she fills a place in his heart that no one else can, and say what you will, I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful that they get along and the four of us (he also loves my dad) enjoy each other’s company and have fun together. But my mother would never take anyone’s side over mine, at least in front of them.

    • notasugarhere says:

      William was 15, Harry was 12 almost 13. I think you’re always vulnerable after the death of the parent, but he wasn’t a young child at the time. The way this story reads, Carole is fulfilling the role of wife in the household while her daughter sits around watching tv and refusing to eat cheese on toast. Neither W or K seem to have left adolescence, and Carole appears content to keep them there under her thumb.

      • LAK says:

        This story completely infantilises WK. It lays out in plain sight how little they do, including looking after their own child.

        It also inadvertently lays bare the state of their marriage which apparently can’t function without Carole’s presence.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        My husband was 14 when his mother died, and no, he wasn’t a young child, but you are being unfair to suggest that it’s not as difficult at that age to lose your mother. In many ways, it’s probably more difficult. You’ve known your mother longer, and you’re devastated, but you’re supposed to be a “man” and just handle it, even though you’re barely more than a child yourself. 14 is not an easy age to lose your mother just because you can dress yourself.

        And I read in this article that Carole has stepped up during Kate’s pregnancy because Kate isn’t feeling up to making all of these decisions. I think you are both adding in interpretations of your own that aren’t present in the article because you dislike them. And don’t forget, this is an article – we have no idea whether it’s false, exaggerated or basically true.

        There’s a lot to complain about with these two. Having your mother-in-law bring you some cheese toast just doesn’t seem like a reason to damn them. We don’t know the true dynamic because we’re not there. If you look at Kate and George, it’s clear that she is a mother to him and they are close.

        I think that’s what I find so tiresome about these boards on Kate and William. There are many legitimate criticisms of them both. But people just pick up on the smallest thing – like yesterday, a poster complained that Kate was smiling at a memorial service – and it just seems so petty and mean spirited. It takes all the fun out of it for me.

      • Suze says:

        Some of this is complete conjecture – maybe most of it. William is in a thrall to Carole’s “networking”? Why? Does he need contacts in the mail order business? Anyone William wants to meet can be beckoned to his side with little effort on his part. And I doubt he’s following Carole around as she runs her business asking for tips that he can apply to his endeavors.

        Carole may be – as her admirers claim – just an enthusiastic mother in law and grandparent. I’ll wait and see how she acts when Pippa and James have children. If she’s all in with them with the cheese trays and such, I’ll concede that she’s just the super mama of them all and not in it for the fame.

        (I actually admire her and her energy – while remaining a bit cynical about her motives. I can hold those two things in my mind at once.)

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Btw, notsugar and LAK, I was not referring to the two of you specifically in the last part of my post. I just meant the overall tone.

      • vava says:

        Well, one thing for sure is this: Will and Kate are always going to be scrutinized. ALWAYS. Whatever they do, there will be comments, whether they smile at memorial services, wear clothing that reveals more than necessary, put on too much eyeliner, lose hair, etc…………there are always going to be comments when the press gets ahold of it. They have their fans, and there are also critics.

      • LNG says:

        Agree GNAT. There are plenty of legitimate things to criticize about these two. That they can never win with some makes me feel compelled to defend them.

        As for the close relationship with Kate’s family, I don’t think we can underestimate the pull of a seemingly “normal” family to William. Not only did he lose his mother at a very young age (and yes, 15 is very young to lose a parent, particularly in the way that he did), he also is definitely not from a normal family. And I’m not saying that to imply that Charles wasn’t a good father, I think that he was a good dad. But the royal family is still far from normal. There are protocols and schedules and rules even on Christmas morning. It was probably pretty awesome to be welcomed into a relaxed family that is so much different than his own and to be mothered by Carole, in a way that he perhaps never was (but definitely hasn’t been since Diana died).

      • FLORC says:

        I was harry’s age when I lost my father (few days shy of 13). Just a few months after Diana passed. I remember a point where I could keep being coddled and sulking. Using his passing as a benefit to myself. Or to grow from it. It’s not easy and it’s very painful, but it’s a choice you have to make.
        Everyone handles grief differently, but this choice is always there in some form depending on circumstances. That William’s childish behavior is justified by his mother’s passing (while Harry thrives) is an insult to her memory and to all those who lost a parent that young. Imo.

        As for this article. It seems like BS. There’s a foundation of truth, but the rest seems like mostly fanfiction stuff. Liberty could write a better tale.

        GNAT
        I think the presence of Carole always around is telling. Not what she’s doing, but that she is always around. William and Kate are often not together it appears and if they are Carole is there. LAK pointed out that in neary every arsing George story there’s nothing about William and Kate raising their son. Just Carole taking charge with nannies for Kate. And this is something because their schedules are very light. If they worked more I think we wouldn’t really notice because the extra help needed would be justified.
        You can love your mother and want her around, but there comes a point where the lines blur. Is she still mothering her daughter and grandchild instead of assisting Kate to mother her child while also running her household and making all major decision? It seems very unhealthy because if Carole wasn’t around could Kate do any of this?

      • LAK says:

        GNAT: i’m commenting on what is written in the article. I don’t have to like or dislike them to see that the article has gone into such detail about what Carole does for these two people with no input as to what they do for themselves.

        Further, the details given leave no room for WK to do anything. If a person has no say in ‘which candles to light’ or ‘which flowers to put in which room’ or how they run their own household, what food is on the table, decorates the nursery, and so on and so forth, whilst talking about their need for tranquility, relaxation and being given doggy treats by Carole to keep them happy.

        I’ll add that no where in the article does in say William is stepping in to help out his pregnant wife. Everything is left to Carole. Any mention of the baby is only to say how good th nanny is with the baby to extent that she retires to bed with the baby monitor whilst the parents retire to the sofa to watch TV, whilst Carole brings them doggy treats.

        Finally, the article goes on to say that Kate and William fight all the time except when Carole is with them. It says that Carole takes William’s side, but the marriage is always better for her physical presence.

        ALL of the above is in the article. How am I projecting?

        You don’t have to like or dislike these people to conclude that the article infantilises them. It doesn’t have to be true, but that is what the article does.

        Ditto the details of their marriage.

        Suze: i’m waiting for Pippa and James’s babies too. It’ll be so unfair if Carole doesn’t pay as much attention to them as she does to Kate and her babies.

        That said, I realise that the other two have different, fully formed personalities that don’t need their mother to extent that Kate does, so there is that too.

      • FLORC says:

        LAK
        Why is that? Why do all these articles pro or anti never state how William and Kate can be normal raising their child like early reports tried to state? Even if it isn’t true. Even the fluff isn’t that fluffy anymore. Remember the newlyweds living in a cottage together or W/K/PGTips going to Anmer to be a normal couple raising their family in the quiet country stories? Where did those go to be replaced like this? Are things just that bad or is someone just not even trying anymore?

        I thought you were onto something when you stated there was no article or release regarding how George was being raised that said Kate was doing it. t’s all nannies and Carole. It’s just odd.

      • DaysandNightsonair says:

        With all their household staff and nanny and personal assistant and drivers and gardeners and Carole and Michael … what do Kate and William do all day? The article mentioned they don’t do lots of socialising with their friends or the aristo set. William hasn’t started working as a pilot as of yet.
        So what do they do? Is Kate the Duchess of television series? No visiting art exhibitions (there are private pre-viewings for the “important people”.) No going out to party or hunting party. No going to the movies / opera / theatre. No sporty acitivities as in riding, sailing or cycling. When were they skiing for the last time? Doesn’t it get boring to go on beach holidays only? And it seems Kate doesn’t do much more than tanning herself on a beach holiday.

        Doesn’t William get bored with such a boring wife? Or perhaps I should ask: WHEN will William get bored with such a boring wife?

        Oh, and Carole better take over all of William’s life as well. Or could anybody imagine she would let William go on an official trip to Asia without making sure he can eat with chopsticks?

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        LAK, I guess we just took different things from the article. I didn’t get the same vibe as you, but that’s ok. What I was trying to say is that sometimes people on here, probably myself included, read things into these articles based on opinions we have already formed, forgetting that the article itself is probably half conjecture. I’m not expressing myself very well. Call me Kanye.

        @vava
        Of course there will be comments about everything they do, I get that. I just don’t like comments that imply that the poster knows their motives or when people say things like Kate really isn’t sick or she doesn’t want any more children or things they could not possibly know.

        Sorry that I just can’t seem to find the right words to say what I mean today.

      • Christin says:

        I had an impression (drawn from past stories) that Carole may be the buffer (if not glue) to this marriage of two responsibility-shy adults.

        Even though I have run into grown children who let their parent(s) or grandparent(s) take larger than usual amounts of responsibility for finances, decisions, child rearing, etc., K&W’s situation tops them all (if true) because of all the help they have at their disposal. I don’t understand what these two do with their day. Lounge in bed until noon and then spend an evening watching TV while munching on snacks?

      • FLORC says:

        GNAT
        Unless we have direct knowledge to the inner workings of the Cambridge motives we can’t know. That goes for both sides. Although, we do either make educated guesses based on official press releases, photos/proven reliable sources. And sometimes we see things acted out. Like claims they’re 1 place, but seen in another. Outside of that it’s guess work.
        I have difficulty with the argument.defense from some saying unless you know them personally you can’t know. That argument at best brings things to neutral and not in their favor by default.

        Did I get what you were trying to say?

      • Inner stillness says:

        LAK, FLORC & notsugarhere all excellent thoughts, I quite agree.

        The maturity level of William and Kate and also Carole’s role in the relationship is quite telling by these articles.

        { On another note, Something about Carole’s constant hovering over William ( on Uncle Gary’s yacht in IbIzia was where the first creepiness of Carole struck me) and her constant micro managing of Kate’s personal life. JMO }

        P.S. Looks like Carole had some face work done, since those 2007 photos, nose and skin , neck smoothing. Just an observation.

    • MinnFinn says:

      GNAT, Your mother sounds lovely. Birds of a feather – that’s why she and your hubby get on so well.

    • captain says:

      GNAT – that is an amazing comment. Nothing to add, really. Thank you for sharing. I knew a few mother-in-laws that were loving and caring to their son/daughter-in-law, and actually used to take their side more often than not. These marriages were very happy. And I think a solid part of it was the wisdom of these mothers-in-law ))
      About taking sides. Arguments are a funny thing. It seems important when you argue, but a year later you don’t remember what you argued about – however, the feelings that came with the argument went into your relationship and are there. Sometimes (most of the times imo))) it is better to let it go. So you were right and he was wrong, so what? More important you didn’t bring the negative dynamic into your relationship over some nonety. That’s imho, of course and not for everybody )) But could be that Carole (who sounds like a dream come true of a mother-in-law) is having this point of view too.

  7. Lilacflowers says:

    I would be very happy if somebody would bring me sea salt chocolates.

    • mimif says:

      I’m just here for the cheese on toast.

      • notasugarhere says:

        (quote from fun movie)

        Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent: Jacqueline, darling, I should hate to think you had anything to do with this.

        Jacqueline: [sarcastically] Of course not, Mother. I’m only here for the food.

      • FLORC says:

        lol … what movie was that from… I can’t recall anyone having title.

      • MinnFinn says:

        And on a really bad day cheesy toast immediately followed by sea salt chocolate.

      • ArtHistorian says:

        Ever After – a modern take on the Cindarella story, set in 16th century France and featuring Leonardo da Vinci as a helping hand for bringing the lovers together. It is sweet and entertaining, and Angelica Huston is splendid as the evil step-mother Rodmilla de Ghent. Drew Barry plays the lead character.

      • Reece says:

        @FLORC Everafter The Drew Barrymore version of Cinderella. I love that scene.
        Tangent: Dougray Scott was so good looking in that movie!!! hmmm…

      • FLORC says:

        That’s it ty!
        I love that movie.1 movie I enjoyed so much I wish it could have been longer.

      • ArtHistorian says:

        I like the movie. However, the choice to set it in a clearly defined historical period drives me batty – because the king in question has to be Francis I (who invited Leonardo to his court) and his heir was Henri I who married Catherine de Medici and had a lifelong affair with Diane de Poitiers. Hardly a fairtale!

        I always enjoy it but have to hide the cognitive dissonance firmly away.

    • Sixer says:

      It’s Mother’s Day here in the UK. LOOK WHAT I GOT!

      http://www.montezumas.co.uk/chocolate-gifts/grand-slam-ten-bar-library.html

      And I might demand cheese on toast (with Worcestershire sauce) for my tea, since it is in the culinary repertoire of both Sixlets.

    • MinnFinn says:

      Lilacflower, Good chocolate does cover a multitude of sins.

  8. JLo says:

    There are three or four people in most marriages, usuallincluding mother-in-laws. That’s hardly unique or interesting, especially considering Kate has no friends and will likely always be an outsider to William’s blue-blooded bourgeois friends.

  9. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    P.S. Has Carole gone blonde? Very aging.

  10. GingerCrunch says:

    Helicopter parenting at it’s finest…and most intense! Look where it got that girl!!! Good luck to the lot of them.

    • ArtHistorian says:

      What is a helicopter parent? havn’t heard that expression before.

      • Angel says:

        One that hovers over their children, not letting them try things themselves or make mistakes.

      • LAK says:

        Helicopter parents closely monitor their children’s activities, experiences and as a result the child is rarely free to make their own decisions. It’s so called because the parents hover so much around their kids that it’s likened to helicopters hovering overhead.

      • inthekitchen says:

        One who hovers around obsessively, doing EVERYTHING for the child.

      • ArtHistorian says:

        Thanks for the info!

  11. LAK says:

    Going by the ad they’ve placed for a housekeeper, they (Carole and Kate) still don’t know how to run a household despite 4yrs of living in one.

    • notasugarhere says:

      They had four staff taking care of them in Wales. Why don’t they understand job duties, work load, and appropriate work hours now? That ad read like a job for at least 5 people.

    • bluhare says:

      Wait a minute. I thought that position would supervise other people doing that! You’re not trying to tell me they expect one person to keep a place like that spotless? And walk the dog? And sub for child care? And do the shopping? Plus all the silver cleaning. I always thought butlers did the silver cleaning. Don’t they have a butler?

      • The Original Mia says:

        They haven’t established a household staff that will do those things, bluhare. Neither of them have had to hire the type of live-in help that will follow them to Buck House. They need to learn, and not by having Carole do it for them.

      • notasugarhere says:

        From the DM quotes from the advertisement “It says the successful applicant’s main duties will include: ‘cleaning all areas of the house to a high standard; caring for and maintaining the home owners’ clothing; cleaning silverware and glassware; purchasing groceries and general provisions for the house; and dealing with deliveries; assisting with childcare and caring for dogs.’”

      • FLORC says:

        Bluhare
        Referencing the movie Clue Butlers maintain the Kitchen and Dinning Room and all that contains ;)
        http://www.butlerschool.com/en_US/the-extras/interesting-facts/

        How do they not have more staff? Did the staff not want to work for them or go to Anmer? This certain follows on the tail of the story of the new and trusted hired staff requesting to return to their old positions.

      • LAK says:

        Bluhare: the ad in the lady says the applicant will have to do all that. You left out the dresser/valet part.

        I thought William had appointed a Valet afew years ago, he was in the pictures of accompanying staff on AUS/NZ tour, but perhaps he doesn’t work for them anymore.

        And yes, it’s the butler in charge of silver/glass so they don’t have a butler.

        I still think they should have recruited from BP which is still run like Downton Abbey – ironic that Kate would want to visit a fake set of a household when lives/visits the real thing at BP.

      • MinnFinn says:

        Carson would never walk Isis. The Cambridges desperately need a few seasoned very ethical staffers. A Carson type for butler and a Mammy type (Gone With the Wind) for Kate’s Lady’s Maid.

      • bluhare says:

        LAK, I know the article said that, but I thought “responsible” for was ensuring other people did it. Or most of it. If they expect one person to do that, at the wages the royals pay, they’re nuts. There was so much for just one person to do!

      • FLORC says:

        MinnFinn
        Mammy would not last! Thought the interactions could have been hilarious.
        If they can’t hold onto staff that’s an issue that won’t be kind to them in later years.

        Years ago there was a docu series on the staff of BP and how it worked. Who did what and how and how often. You need a crew just for the silverware polishing.
        Now Anmer is smaller, but still a very massive estate. 1 person might be able to do 1 of those things alone, but not all. That’s madness.

      • MinnFinn says:

        FLORC – Get thee behind me Satan! I mean I respectfully disagree. Mammy repeatedly got Miss Scarlett to stand down. My heroine Mammy would make hamburger meat out of Carole and Kate.

      • FLORC says:

        MinnFinn
        I meant more in the way of tough love, but not lettting that bs behavior go. Scarlett was smart. She adapted. I think Mammy would get fed up easily. And with Carole! Oh wow! That would be a passive aggressive showdown for the books!

  12. Hope says:

    Honestly? None of this bothers me. I don’t have the greatest relationship with my parents, and if we were this close and they were this caring (/cloying/meddling/suffocating) I would probably enjoy it like Will does. And they’re not the typical family, having trustworthy, solid friends isn’t as easy for them. Though I did raise a bit of an eyebrow at Carole siding with William. But otherwise I don’t get why people have such a negative view of super close intergenerational ties. Even some of the middle aged women at work have a problem with another coworker who has lunch with her mother every day. She’s a perfectly happy, normal, functioning adult, who happens to be really close with her mother, who is also a really wonderful person. I just don’t get the disdain some people have for such relationships. I think it’s refreshing, especially considering how many people don’t want anything to do with their parents. Obviously the Middleton’s care about the Cambridges, which is more than can be said for some parents, and I don’t see the harm in it one bit.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Thank you, Hope. I agree. I wish my family lived closer so we could see them more often I don’t get the problem, either.

    • Addison says:

      Agreed, it’s bizarre to me that people get worked up over this. With Kate’s parents they will not have to worry about being sold out to the tabloids. There are many cultures that have inter-generational families so this is odd because in the U.S. It’s different. Who is to say if people from certain families in England have this kind of arrangement. They probably think these comments are weird.

    • notasugarhere says:

      I don’t see her as a perfectly normal, functioning adult. I see her as someone stuck in adolescence, who has never earned anything for herself in this world because she is incapable as functioning as an adult. She cannot be away from her mother for more than a few days before the cracks appear. That is not normal, healthy, nor is it a sign of a well-raised adult.

      • vava says:

        I agree. I also think that William isn’t a functioning adult, either.

      • Natalie says:

        Yes. Kate and William should be running the show cheered on and supported by Carole. That doesn’t seem to be what’s happening here. Instead, they come across like two overgrown children being fussed after by Mother.

        Carole should be concerned about this rather than continuing to enable it.

    • The Original Mia says:

      You say that because you don’t have it. My family all lives within 15-30 miles of each other. We love each other, but we are also in each other’s business and affairs entirely too much. It’s almost as if the umbilical cords have not been cut through the generations. We take great pains to separate our lives because we know it isn’t healthy to be so involved in each other’s lives. There’s having a loving, supportive family and there’s the codependency and abling that is going on in the Cambridge marriage.

      • vava says:

        I agree with you, Mia. We had family living here in town and it certainly had it’s ups and downs. When they moved away, it was a big relief for husband and me because finally we had PRIVACY. Now, some of those family members are planning to move back! I have mixed feelings about it.

    • bluhare says:

      I agree with you too Hope. I care what they do publicly. If they want Carole micromanaging their lives so they can get out in front of people that’s fine with me. I suppose William’s going to be working a 40 hour week (at least that’s what I’ve read). Kate’s been getting out this year. I grant you she hasn’t done much substantive, if anything, but she’s getting out in front of the world and, If I’m being objective, I think she’s shown some improvement. If having mummy at home does that, I hope she moves in permanently.

      Although as I re-read that, I think we all hope for a lot more than that from a King and Queen.

      • Suze says:

        The more she does for them, the more they seem to expect her (and others) to do.

        I actually think they should just make Carole the next Prince of Wales. She would probably make a pretty good job of it.

      • notasugarhere says:

        She has worked less than 20 hours in three months.

      • FLORC says:

        Bluhare
        2 things.
        If this is how they chose to live then their press office can stop putting out those bs pr stories claiming otherwise.
        And Kate and William should be seen as strong individuals that are stronger together. Not that they still need and indulge in another mothering them both and taking care of them as if they weren’t adults. Their positions demand better. Like a puppet. A figurehead to the public, but behind the scenes it’s another pulling the strings and manipulating their every move.

        Should they choose to continue this way they should be private citizens. Only because they are figureheads and not self sustaining people are they held to a higher standard. Everyone here who says this doesn’t matter and that they would do this too is forgetting this. This cannot be justified correctly by a civilian giving the “OK” because the civilian is treating them as the same.

      • vava says:

        @FLORC: right on, sister!

      • MinnFinn says:

        Suze – Carole would be a super-bitchin’ POW. Move over Nefertiti.

        Honestly though, I’d favor an Uncle Gary or Andrew as POW b/c the gossip would be so delicious. IIRC that in the late 1700′s that the sovereign’s sons were so entrenched in debauchery there were no legitimate male heirs despite them having a plethora of offspring.

      • bluhare says:

        Hey, I said she’s getting out more and showing some improvement. She’s got to start somewhere, and you all don’t have to pull out a bunch of facts and figures to show me how much she could be doing. I *know* all that and I think she could do more than she does, but slamming someone for showing a bit of effort isn’t particularly productive either, plus she’s about to have a baby. Nothing’s going to happen for a while.

        The other thing is the article also said that Carole’s been there for the pregnancy and will be there 6 weeks after the baby’s born. I know Kate will always run home to mummy, but it didn’t say they’ve moved in permanently.

        Although my personal take is it’s a bit weird for my taste, but their staff just quit and they need some help. I’m more worried about whether they’re up to being heads of state, and it isn’t looking good.

      • FLORC says:

        bluhare
        Did I offend? Not my intention if I came off aggressive.

        I get Kate will take a lot of time off again and there isn’t a single thing wrong there. With George the issue was the pr. Not really her. We knew what was expected and many here called the ever present nanny before admitted.

        And yes the staff quit. That’s not good. Working for WK could be seen as a promotion of sorts by some. And these hired are proven hard workers that don’t shy away from a challenge and their jobs. That many around WK have now left (household staff, nanny, security, pr office) it doesn’t look good. And most staff that left came around the time of the Midds using them as their own. Pippa book RPO security, staff and Anmer, PR heads etc..

        Worth repeating. If William and Kate seemed more like they could handle things themselves, but enjoyed and appreciated the presences and support of Carole this wouldn’t be anything imo.

        Vava
        Off Topic
        I’ve always liked yours and Bettyrose’s Gravitars. Old fashion glamour shot styles are lovely.

      • bluhare says:

        FLORC, never you! I’m stressed right now and can be a bit more reactive. Bear with me please?

      • FLORC says:

        Of course Baroness Bluhare!
        We all have our days.

  13. aquarius64 says:

    Good Lord, is this another fractured fairy tale waiting to happen? William needs to shake this and Kate needs to grow up and FAST. What does Ma Middleton know about running a ROYAL household, which Kate needs to learn how to do for the time William ascends to the throne? I’m an American, and I strongly doubt the servants and the courtiers at Buckingham Palace will tolerate Carole as much as arranging the furniture there.

    The Middletons better watch themselves. Charles has set the precedent that a divorce will not exclude him from the throne, especially when an heir and a spare have been produced. If a divorce happens with Elizabeth or Charles on the throne, Kate can say goodbye to the HRH and the perks that come with it. I think that’s why Carole’s friend came out and said she is not trying to exclude Charles from George…she’s afraid she’ll be excluded.

    • Betti says:

      I think Charles is ruthless and if there is a divorce, Kate will not get full custody – he will make sure that those children stay within the RF’s circle. If Kate and her family make a fuss they will be thrown to the wolves.

      While i tend to take things from the Daily Fail with a grain of salt it does tie in with most people’s general observations about them – they are rarely ‘lapped’ together or with their son unless its staged. Willy is never home and Kate, well she seems to get papped a lot shopping or on holiday.

      I have always thought this marriage would go the same way as his parents. As for Kate, she seems to be setting herself up as some sort of Diana clone – a delicate flower, crushed by the Firm. More like by her Mother.

      • The Original Mia says:

        The sovereign has custody already if I’m not mistaken. It’s a law that gives the sovereign rights to them until they reach adulthood.

  14. Itsnotthatserious says:

    Diana did not have a strong family support and they threw her to the wolves, she was made fun of her her broken family, here Kate has a strong family support and the knives are out for them. Is Prince Charles people still bargaining out his children for better media.

    • FLORC says:

      I think the issue is Kate is supported entirely by her family like a 5 year old would be. A family stepping in to help support their adult child versus a family stepping in to help support their 5 year old child is not the same.

      There’s an image of weakness here and that’s not good. Not because Kate has a strong family bond. She could fight her own battles, have Carole assist her on things, and still be a strong adult. Here it seems she’s just given power to her mother instead of needing guidance to learn.

      • Dama79 says:

        In the beginning I was a huge fan of William and Kate’s and thought they could really do some good. Him a military pilot and her finally have a platform to change a lot of things for the better. Also I don’t why it took me this long to figure this out ( I pride myself on being semi- intelligent). Kate must have been an abused child. Not physical but mentally. To always do exactly what you mother says down to the letter, ever since grade school age? Even the best behaved child is somewhat rebellious in boarding school or university. No not her because her mother always had her eyes on the brass ring. There’s stories of Carole always making the other moms in her village feel not quite good enough. Also when Kate and Pippa went to boarding school it was said they were alway immaculately turned out and Carole would sew name tapes in all there clothes. Really?!? My mom was a good mom but she did the laundry marker thing before we went to camp and I do it with my kids. Kate’s pretty much in an arranged marriage where she looks over at night at that snoring bald man thinking I can’t leave or they’ll take my kids and it’s not like she can talk to her mom about it she’s drank the Kool Aid big time. It’s just sad though because rather than using her time doing real charity work, she zones out in front of the tv. She worked so hard to get in golden jail cell didn’t she?

      • FLORC says:

        Dama79
        I agree to a point. “Abuse” is a word people take to extremes. There are many forms though that ultimately break down to a child developing an unhealthy view of things. Or maybe Kate always only wanted to marry well and not work? That would not fly with my mother though. You can’t rely on family or a spouse forever. If and when they pass how will you survive? You need to be prepared for the worst just in case.

        Those stories of Carole and the boarding school clothes seem more like a mother wanting her daughters to feel special. There are stories from those who personally knew the ladies Carole knew in that time frame. Carole was polite and proper, but was chasing after social elevation and as she rose would leave behind old friends. Very much the “top brick in the chimney” mentality she was taught.

        In the days of social media we get coverage by the moment. Often William is found to be not with his family, but hunting or at private parties. At points the Midds pap gets the tip off and prints a story or photo that always has William returning to Kate. Or Kate herself says something to shame William passive aggressive style.
        Kate is savvy. She knows William and while might come off a little dim at times is quite sharp at dealing with her husband. She picks her battles imo.

  15. Talie says:

    Williams really just seems to crave a typical family, which is sweet in a way.

    This article though…Prince Charles’s PR is going a bit overboard, no? There must be serious tension behind the scenes. He’s trying to force William’s hand on something.

    • zinjojo says:

      I think you’ve hit on the truth here — the stories appearing in the Daily Fail are coming from somewhere and from someone with an agenda. If Prince Charles’ people/PR are leaking to the press and planting stories, there must be serious tension behind it, and that’s what’s interesting — what’s going on behind the scenes that’s creating this public narrative?

      • bbg says:

        It may also be the “staff” that seem to be fleeing Cambridge manor, who are leaking.

        Which brought me to another thought: perhaps the staff who left Amner because it was “too middle class,” actually meant that they had to do WAY MORE than normal, because Carol is the type of person to hire 1 person for 3 jobs — to, ya know, save money. Which IS middle class, and can be hell for the staff. (I am not saying middle class is bad. Heck, I am lower class. Proudly.)

      • Sharon Lea says:

        Yes, it really seems like a lot has been ‘leaked’ in the past few months, way more than ever before. Wonder if the airing of “Reinventing the Royals” has anything to do with it? The special highlights how much the press has held back, for years. Maybe they realized its time for the ‘ban on reporting about young/boyish/in school etc etc years’ is finally and truly over?

  16. ArtHistorian says:

    I don’t know if there’s any thruth to this since the DM is not averse to writing pure fiction. However, I do find it interesting that this article make it sound as though William and Kate are two helpless children that need to be coddled and catered to by Mummy rather than two adults with their own household, a toddler and a child on the way.
    Could it be a subtle shade thrown at the by the DM?

    • vava says:

      I suspect someone from the Middleton family (Carole? Pippa?) gave insider information to the writer at the DM.

      The entire thing is comical to me. Kate and Will sound immature and lazy, and Carole’s image isn’t improved by this sort of story, either. Whatever…..I’m glad I’m not living there and working for those idiots.

    • FLORC says:

      AH
      I thought the same.Though the tone of the article still feels to benefit Carole and Kate. Isn’t this a tactic? To release news you know will get out in a more flattering manner. This reads like admitting the bad, but sugar coating the hell out of it.

      • plz says:

        how does this benefit carole, kate or william in any way it’s just gossip to sell papers

      • ArtHistorian says:

        Using over-the-top flattery is certainly a well-honed strategy in order to express sarcasm without getting in trouble for it. I have noticed some articles, particularly on Kate that use this tactic. The language used is so overly complimentary and sticky-sweet that it can easily turn off the reader. I remember one article that compared Kate to Marie Curie and Mother Teresa that was so ludicrous that it was laughable.

        Another way to express subtle criticism is to put a complimentary, fluffy article next to one on a very serious matter. One newspaper did that last year when Kate took George to Mustique and they were papped. The pictures of Kate and baby George on a tropical holiday was juxtaposed with images of flooding in the UK. Nothing is stated outright but it was easy to note the extreme contrast between the image an extremely privileged woman on a luxury holiday and a story about ordinary people’s houses being flooded and unlivable.

        I really don’t care about their private lives but I do find it very interesting how they are being portrayed in the press at present.

      • bluhare says:

        Damning with faint praise. That was my thought too, AH.

        Kind of interesting that they don’t get along with Carole around, though.

      • bluhare says:

        Without Carole around I meant! :)

      • FLORC says:

        Plz
        I think AH and Bluhare stated it well. Nothing more to add.

  17. kaye says:

    Maybe it’s just the “journalist” (using the term loosely) using her imagination, but it seems as though she had access to insiders with firsthand experience:

    ‘Kate and William can be grand, of course, but they love it when Carole brings them cheese on toast or perhaps something less calorific for Kate in front of Downton Abbey,’ says a source.

    Definitely something less calorific for Kate ffs

  18. Bethany says:

    Carole loves to control. And William and Kate like to have everything done for them. Seems to be a match made in heaven. However, she’s made a cripple out of Kate with her constant control to the extent that Kate is incapable of doing anything for herself. And the same will happen to George if someone doesn’t take the reins from Carole and put them where they belong – the husband and wife of the house.

  19. Hazel says:

    Seriously, if it were true, who would know about the cheese on toast in front of the telly? Who’s talking? The outgoing Anmer staff? Carole? W or K on walkabout? Pure fiction, methinks.

  20. Ellen says:

    I think that Carole may not take his side in an argument as much as perhaps show her daughter where he may be coming from (and I don’t mean the palace :-) ). I mean his perspective in the argument. I’ve done that with my son when he had girlfriends and they argued. We are all a bit blind when we’re in an argument with our loved ones. In a marriage you sometimes need to see the other person’s perspective in order to find a solution.

    The press always attempt to vilify Carole (though not particularly in this article). As far as I can tell she’s got more business acumen and more drive and focus than any of the members of the royal family. It seems as if all articles either hint at her being non “U” or a grasping, clawing woman. Maybe she’s both, but if being “U” or being a non-grasping aristocrat means laying about after you’re 30 years old and taking gap years even after that….well Queen Elizabeth better hope that all the WW2 goodwill of her reign can carry over until PGtips takes over. (and no, I’m not impressed with Kate’s work ethic, she’s not helping the BRF survival right now either).

    Carole’s goal of Kate and Pippa marrying up can be considered grasping, foolish or undesirable. But damn, goal completed where Kate was concerned. I’m not sure that many of the members of the BRF have ever undertaken any goal as complex and completed it.

    And someday, Shady Uncle Gary will depart this earth and that history will be glossed over just like so many aristocrats have parts of their history they gloss over.

    I’d stack Carole and Michael Middleton against most of the BRF any day in any survival competition.

    • Suze says:

      Carole, maybe. Although the BRF is far more ruthless than they appear. Even the sweet fuzzy ones.

      Michael Middleton would be eaten alive. But he does seem like a nice man so I hope it never comes to that.

      • FLORC says:

        Michael Middleton is someone we don’t really know. Because of this we think he’s an alright guy. I’m holding judgement on that.

  21. bettyrose says:

    My mom nearly always takes my long term BF’s side on things. It’s passive aggressive towards me not adoring of him. Also she lives a thousand miles a away.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I imagine the thousand miles is not an accident, then? Good thinking.

      • bettyrose says:

        Truth. No accident. And we live even further from his crazy family. ;-)

        But you’ll notice I sometimes fantasize on these threads about a cushy life in the English countryside surrounded by loving family. I love that idea. Or love it for a few minutes of day dreaming, anyway.

      • FLORC says:

        bettyrose
        I wish I could live that distance from my inlaws. The F-inlaw is fine. The rest? WASP covers it. upper class white anglo-saxxon protestant.

        Thankfully my mother has only ever stayed out of FMORC and my arguments, but offered advice when asked. The advice was always grounding and not about taking sides, but resolving the issue.

  22. Tracy says:

    The good news is that it isn’t anyone’s business but theirs!

    • notasugarhere says:

      One day he will be an unelected head of state, and he wants to spend his days being treated like a teenager by his obsessed mother-in-law (who keeps his picture as her main picture on her phone)? I believe it is the business of the people he will represent.

  23. perplexed says:

    I don’t really get it myself, but if it works for them…

  24. Crumpet says:

    As long as everyone is happy I don’t see any problem. *shrug*

  25. livan says:

    In May I will give birth to a second baby and I wishful my Mother would relocate here even though she can be a pain in the ass! The help is worth so much, and important for children to have plenty of adults srpund them. Generations living and raising children together is really quite normal in many parts of the word, and in the west not so long ago.

  26. Jaded says:

    I think part of William’s love of the cozy Middleton parents is that it reminds him of the good times he had with his mother. For a brief period of time before Diana died she made sure the boys had that warm, hands-on love as well as lots of normal, young boy fun that was usually withheld from prior generations of royal children who were seen and not heard, then shunted off to boarding school as soon as possible. I adore the Queen but a fun mother? Romping around the yard or taking them out for burgers and fries? No. Then once Diana died so tragically, William was cossetted away from the media and handled with kid gloves while at Uni. Those experiences molded an already reticent personality into a bitter, arrogant man with an entitled attitude that he’ll do as little public work as possible and treat the media like a pestilence.

    Kate, on the other hand, is a malleable woman-child with an unnaturally close relationship to her mother who has stick-handled her relationship with William from the get-go. Because Kate seemingly has no issue with being a doormat and hung in quietly for the long wait, we never saw the cunning she probably possesses in her (and Carole’s) one-track mindedness to get the prize. Those two make a formidable pair – Carole’s got the drive and manipulative instincts, Kate has the placid and patient nature to lurk in the weeds for as long as it takes to win her man.

    Well done you two – now if only Carole could implant some desire in them both to get out and work for their lavish and useless lifestyle.

    • notasugarhere says:

      +1. Brilliant, Jaded.

    • Cricket says:

      I think it may be that Kate is living out Carole’s dream and that Carole was obsessed with everything Diana and having access to royalty is her ultimate grab. There was something I read long ago that Carole went through a stage and dyed her hair blonde and had the same haircut as Diana.

      Wouldn’t it be juicy if the gossip was coming from James Middletons gal Donna Air?

      The Midds are morphing into the Kardashian clan: Kim=Kate, Kanye=Will, PMK=Carole, Pippa=Khloe or Kylie and Rob=James…

      OT… Anyone tuning into the E show the Royals tonight? I admit I’m interested in seeing Liz Hurley as Queen :)

    • sophietta says:

      I think Kate is exceptionally bright. She gained a degree at a venerable Scottish university and in the process landed the ‘job’ and the ‘boss’ she was after. Nailed it with her mum’s nudging. IMO William is the very needy partner who appears to be wrestling with his ‘boss’….the BRF….who have, unlike the Middletons, a somewhat muddied reputation. Having said that, Carole and QE have several common denominators: they are both workaholics and they both have an understanding of the goal posts (think Carole comes in 1st, though. I don’t believe the UK monarchy will be rendered redundant after Charles becomes king but I do believe he will lower the boom when it comes to William. There is no greater lever than money and William does not have a great deal of it until he inherits the Duchy….and who is to say what Charles will do with the Duchy of Cornwall! Take care Wills….

      • FLORC says:

        The Midds don’t have a “muddied” reputation? Uncle Gary is about as bad as they come and funded much of the courting Kate did with William. Drug selling, transporting, under age $*# trade are pretty awful. And this is no secret. It’s just not covered anymore because of William.

        While I agree Kate wasn’t a dummy when she earned her degree I think without practice she’s lost some of that information. And she landed her husband because she never let him go. And being his wife was not a job ladies around him wanted.
        As far as her “job” I wish she would do it well. It’s the bare minimum right now and has been for years with the promise of more events and more charities that never happens.

        As far as the Monarchy goes. Who knows. William is far removed from it as he can be. He doesn’t want it for work. This will have to change if the Monarchy is to last. As King he can’t refuse duties without it being frowned upon heavily. The commonwealth and his responsibilites come 1st. He will have to step up and want this for this establishment to stay strong . Or else people will no longer feel it’s worth it without being reminded of it.

      • notasugarhere says:

        No, the Middletons are not squeaky clean. Some of Gary’s illegal actions are on video, caught undercover by reporters. He also stated publicly that things never came easy to Kate, she always had to work much hard to stay even with everyone else. She got into a University but she didn’t set the world on fire with her intellect. Former teachers from Downe and Marlborough didn’t have any recollection of her at the school, she was bland and left no mark. Their finances are very sketchy, and they continue to have their company in a questionable set-up.

        A lot will happen when HM dies. If William and Kate keep up these anti-royal antics, things may end with HM or mid-Charles’s reign.

      • sophietta says:

        I certainly agree Uncle Gary has muddied the waters but the BRF have turned it into sludge. The lineup of BRF characters Charles, Camilla, Sophie, Andrew, Sarah and Diana reads like a very badly written, unbelievably atrocious Victorian novel. I’m fairly certain one or two Middleton naughty nuggets will surface someday but that’s nought compared to what’s already been displayed by the Windsors to date..
        Just sayin’….

  27. livan says:

    Thank you goodnamesalltaken! Actually we will stay two months with my parents after giving birth and after that two months with my partners parents!

  28. JH says:

    Um, I think it’s rather sweet. They seem like a normal family. When I was pregnant, I wanted my mom around and after the baby I REALLY wanted her near me all the time. And really, how nice that they all get along so well. Don’t see the need for all the snark and vitriol here. I love my MIL, too. Am I some oddity and weirdo, too?

    • captain says:

      That’s lovely, so many people dream of such closeness and support. Good on you and your family!

  29. zut alors! says:

    So is cheese on toast the same as a grilled cheese sandwich or is it something fancier? Bueller, Bueller…..anyone?

  30. livan says:

    JH, I agree with you!

  31. kibbles says:

    Imagine what would happen if William and Carole ever have a falling out. What makes this situation weird is that I don’t think the marriage can survive without Carole. There is nothing wrong with being close to one’s in-laws, but the in-laws should not serve as the glue that keeps a marriage together. I’m sure Carole will do her best to ensure that a divorce never happens, but people can tire of each other. Carole seems to have always had one priority and that is to get her daughter to marry into the Royal Family and maintain stability after the marriage so that someday her daughter will become Queen. If that is Carole’s goal, she has been quite good at it thus far, even going so far as taking her son-in-law’s side over her daughter in an argument. William probably sees Carole as a second mother to him so that even if he tires of Kate, the Middletons will always be a source of family support thus making it more difficult to throw in the towel if he ever feels that way about his marriage. As the article states, William and Kate feel happiest when the Middletons are around and that their presence eases tension in the marriage.

    • Jaded says:

      Totally agree Kibbles.

    • FLORC says:

      Kibbles
      The closest I can think of a falling out was when William reportedly pressured the Midds to sue their on call pap. Carole picked her side. Appeased it. And then got back into bed with Tanna. Not literally ofcourse.

      • Betti says:

        Wasn’t that over the topless pics of her while they were vacationing at a very secluded property with high walls, trees etc.. that the only way the paps could have known they were there was through a tip off? I recall that particular home was owned by his father’s cousin, Viscount Linley.

      • LAK says:

        Betti: it was tennis pictures taken in 2010. In a nutshell, the pap in question got a tip from inside, photographed Kate playing tennis at a remote country house in Cornwall. The pap said she even stopped to wish him merry Christmas.

        William allegedly had a hissyfit and insisted Kate sues for breach of privacy which she was very reluctant to do. A few months after that incident and the middletons were back to tipping him off. The entire episode had a lot of publicity because the pap talked to the media about it, and articles are still up.

      • Not Orangina says:

        I would love to be a fly on the wall every time Billy the Bald would stomp his foot knowing it’s the Middletons and the Middletons ONLY calling up the paps!

        What idiots – love how they play each other.

  32. Susan says:

    Seems like a very midde class European in-law relationship to me. In our family you don’t lose a daughter, you gain a son. That said, if I were Prince Charles I would send Carole Middleton to the Tower.

  33. ilovesunnydaze says:

    There may be a sliver of truth to this but I think most of it is embelished to the point of ridiclousnous if there is such a word. Whoever wrote this has a real dislike for the Middletons and Kate and William. It’s just plain mean.

    • FLORC says:

      There’s a rumor circulating the reporter twitter feeds they think the source was from the Midds. This would not be the 1st or 2nd or 3rd or more time this has been directly linked back to them.
      The negative tone eases the reader into not immediately rejecting all info they’ve read as fluff and filler for an agenda.
      Still, foundation of truth and fiction is how i’m leaning too. Details like toast and cheese though… Why get so specific? That will either discredit or credit if William does indeed favor this snack and has said so before.

      • plz says:

        i follow those twitter feeds and no one is saying this is coming from the middletons, the middletons have nothing to gain from this story neither do the royal family it’s just made up because there is no scandal and they have to sell their papers

      • bluhare says:

        Totally fabricated stories can get you sued.

      • notasugarhere says:

        The Middletons have worked with members of the press for over a decade and hired a PR firm to try to improve their image. I could see this coming from their side, at least the idea that Carole is indispensable to them (so people will stop criticizing her). The first article about Carole taking over as housekeeper could have been from their side, as it mostly made them look good.

        This one goes much farther than that, to the point of making these two look like children who cannot be in a room together without fighting. Tough to tell which side it came from. If it was the Woods, and they’ve returned to HM’s service while getting away with sharing these details? That indicates HM may be stirring from her ostrich routine.

      • FLORC says:

        plz
        You would disagree with me if I said the sun sets in the west.
        What bluhare and nota said.

      • bluhare says:

        I thought royal staff had very strict confidentiality agreements. So if they are the source, they’re doing it with someone’s approval. And someone who is in the house sourced some of that, unless plz is correct and the DM had a writing contest this past week and this was the winner.

      • FLORC says:

        Bluhare
        I bet they do. Still, people talk. Secrets always get out.
        There might have been a contest, but this doesn’t read like that and is’t being carried like that.
        And we know the Midds have leaked before. Not stating tabloid junk. This just is .

      • ArtHistorian says:

        I recently read a Vanity Fair article on Prince Andrew and there were a lot of very detailed info on how he interacts with the staff – verbal abuse, parading around naked, etc. Such details can only come from (former) staff! The lesson is this: if you are a public person and value your privacy, then treat your staff well.

      • Citresse says:

        Prince Andrew parades around the staff naked? What kind of place is that? ie- Buckingham Palace or wherever he chose to be naked. A non-stop party?
        If I saw Prince Andrew naked, esp if he was dancing around drunk and naked, I would get my phone out and begin recording because otherwise, no one would believe me.

      • ArtHistorian says:

        The naked story is not from the VF, I misremembered. However, it is attributed to a memoir by a former member of Charles’ household staff:
        “Wendy Berry, the former Highgrove estate servant of the Prince of Wales, has described some of the Duke of York’s private faux pas in her memoir, The Housekeeper’s Diary. From calling a servant an “idiot” over the phone to parading naked in front of another one, freely displaying what has been charitably described as a greatly exaggerated libido, Andrew’s sense of entitlement is considered obnoxious and tacky even by the standards of his own family.”
        (http://www.royalfoibles.com/)

        The VF article does reveal another interesting tidbit:
        His behavior toward women runs the gamut from boorish to oafish. A woman who attended a weekend party with him at a country house in Dorset recalled his clumsy manners. “I woke up on Saturday morning with a fire extinguisher pointed at my face, behind which was the face of the foolishly laughing prince,” she said. “I told him, ‘Go away!’ It turned out that he had gone to all the girls’ rooms.”
        (http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2011/08/prince-andrew-201108)

      • Not Orangina says:

        ho hum, the Midds have called up the paps AGAIN.

        They play Billy the Bald and his mother’s death to the max. Sick people.

    • LAK says:

      Actually this journalist has written several articles about how wonderful the middletons and Kate are, and how they are the best thing that’s happened to William and the monarchy.

      My guess is that she wrote what she thought was her usual ‘Carole and the Middletons are great’ and her editor added the headline because the tone of the article is in line with her usual positive articles.

      EDIT: this post was in response to ilovesunnydaze.

      • ArtHistorian says:

        That’s an interesting observation: the article itself is pure fluff a la “aw, isn’t Carole just the best!”. But the headline frames the whole piece in a very different manner because everyone knows Diana’s famous line about three people in her marriage to Charles.
        It is quite interesting to analyse how these articles frame and present different meanings, often one overt and then one latent (for the discerning reader). The framing headline is the clincher – that’s the first part anyone reads, some don’t even read further – and what the headline implies is that there’s trouble in paradise. Then the article goes on and on about how Carole is helping and coddling her favorite daughter and son-in-law. The cognitive dissonance is jarring indeed.

  34. ilovesunnydaze says:

    There may be a sliver of truth to this but I think most of it is embelished to the point of ridiclousnous if there is such a word. Whoever wrote this has a real dislike for the Middletons and Kate and William. It’s just plain mean.

  35. Citresse says:

    I’ve commented on this before, but I think one of the biggest issues may be security sp bugs.
    In this age of technology- cams are very discreet and can pass for innocuous objects. Perhaps W&K feel they have greater security and control at Amner?
    Kensington Palace strikes me as a magnet for all kinds of bugs and security issues. Poor Diana, looking back, the Royals nor her brother didn’t provide better security for her post Charles.

    • notasugarhere says:

      They just had dozens of workmen in there, fixing things up for over a year. Did William have someone search all of them and their belongings every day for minicams and recording equipment? There is a much higher risk that something would have been installed in the process of those refits than staying at Kensington.

      • Citresse says:

        Notasugarhere
        Knowing William’s line of thinking, I believe the workmen at Amner were fully searched by security, probably much like a secondary inspection at intl airports and they were probably scanned and recorded by police personnel upon arrival, during and after their work days.
        My guess is- William views security as number one and Kate agrees, therefore the immediate family (Middletons) are viewed as 100 per cent trustworthy especially in terms of care for George.
        Whether Kate decides to remove her top at Amner this summer remains to be seen, however William has made it known he will not tolerate another fun in sun nipplegate.

    • FLORC says:

      Citresse
      Diana was provided security post Charles. She is the one who dismissed her security. She made herself a target and then got rid of her greatest security asset.

      Nota
      I remember rumors when the moved into KP that there was a jogging trail/path too close to the home and someone could see in if they chose to. That it was to be closed down. Did that ever happen?

      • LAK says:

        Florc: theye re-routed the Amner Hall driveway away from the Amner church which would have made it easier to monitor comings/goings to Amner hall by the public.

        As for their KP apartment, it’s situated in the most public side of the park. It’s also slightly downhill so people can look into their 1st Flr + windows if they were curious.

        The walled garden opens directly into the park. The park side of the walled garden is available to the public which I’ve always thought was a short sighted decision for people who are protective of their privacy.

      • Citresse says:

        FLORC
        From what I read at that time (Diana post Charles), they were constantly sweeping KP for bugs. The fact remains, that no matter where Diana lived post Charles, she would have security issues ie- telephone conversations bugged etc, however the Royal Family didn’t, in my opinion, provide Diana a home with adequate security. She got rid of her bodyguards because she believed they were providing information to Charles’ camp and others. Her brother is especially to blame. He could have helped her to get a home away from London, built like Fort Knox.
        Looking back, Diana was pretty much abandoned, however she didn’t made it easier on herself by the constant leaking of information to the press. She was a manipulative, desperate person but she also had valid reasons for her anger.

      • vava says:

        that was one of Diana’s biggest mistakes – dumping her security after the divorce.

      • Citresse says:

        vava
        Yes, it was.
        And I had no idea re-KP and the park security issues sp W&K apt location.
        Though, I’m sure the Royals will figure out a business strategy for the unused space. I hear they’re good business people (with the exception of Andrew, of course).

      • notasugarhere says:

        W&K were offered other apartments in Kensington, ones with much more privacy. They chose the biggest apartment, knowing where it was located, and demanded the removal of the charity. They had a choice to pick a more private location, they chose the biggest and most public.

        LAK, their decisions are always selfish. Maybe that’s what makes them short sighted?

  36. Betti says:

    While I think there is some truth in what appears in the article, its a ploy to get people to like Carole and sympathise with Kate, as well as support the ‘normal life’ narrative. There’s clearly some sort of behind the scenes tensions that are being played out subtly via the press.

    I have a close friend who was similar to Kate in many ways – raised in a bubble where everything was done for her by her mother. She didn’t even know how to pay a bill until she got divorced and started living on her own – she’s fiercely independent now but says it was hard for her to adjust and acknowledges it was not healthy to live like that as she had no idea what real life was like I didn’t know her then but she says i wouldn’t have like her – I don’t think she even liked who she was back then. The point is Kate could run her own life and household but only if there is some sort of catalyst (i.e. her mother is no longer there etc..) – their way their life is now isn’t a healthy/normal environment to raise children. Children are smart little people, they pick up on things and if their father or grandmother doesn’t respect their mother then they won’t either – they will treat Kate as they see the other main parental figures in their life do, that is not right and a recipe for disaster.

    I think Carole has to step in – Kate seems a bit like a child raising children.

  37. bettyrose says:

    “‘Kate and William can be grand, of course, but they love it when Carole brings them cheese on toast or perhaps something less calorific for Kate in front of Downton Abbey,’ says a source.”

    There’s not one part of this sentence I don’t love.

  38. WhiteQueen says:

    I don’t see a problem if all three of them are okay with this arrangement. I’m close with my mom. Not sure if I’d be fine living with her all the time but Kate doesn’t seem to mind and Wills apparently just loves it. Whatever makes them happy.

  39. Bread and Circuses says:

    William likes it. Kate likes it. Kate’s parents like it.

    I do not see a problem with this. In fact, I think it’s really nice.

    If you grow up in a slightly dysfunctional household (and I don’t see how growing up in the royal family wouldn’t be weird, even if everybody loves each other), and your inlaws are warm and wonderful people who make you feel like one of their own kids, it’s entirely possible you wind up loving being in their company.

    I know this is a gossip website and analysing this stuff is why we come here, but this is one case where I just want to say, “Hey, let ‘em organize their lives however they like. They seem happy, and that’s what matters.”

  40. Bridget says:

    I have a very tight knit family, who are a huge part of my life and my children’s lives. But if I were to live with my mom now at 33, I’m pretty sure only one of us would make it out alive.

  41. Miran says:

    Ick.

  42. Becks says:

    Please, does anyone remember this story??? I am sure I did NOT imagine it!

    Over Christmas 2006, the Middletons rented a posh ski chalet (in Switzerland?) at great expense because the Middletons expected Prince William to finally propose to Kate.

    At that point, they had been together @5 years; Kate had been in International headlines because she and her Carole had just attended the ceremony at Sandhurst to watch William be commissioned. The occasion was notable as the first time she had been seen at a high-profile public event attended by the Queen and other senior royals. She was acknowledged world-wide as the Royal Girlfriend. The expectations in the Middleton household must have been sky-high.

    The Middletons spent the entire holiday period indoors, afraid to miss welcoming PW. However, PW did not show up and did not call. It wasn’t until Boxing Day morning that PW called to say he was at Sandringham spending Christmas with the Queen.

    Back home, there was much media speculation about a royal engagement in the period leading up to Kate’s 25th birthday. On January 9th, 2007, there was a crush of reporters camped outside the €700,000 Chelsea apartment which the Middletons had purchased in cash as a love-nest of sorts for their daughter and her Royal beau. (We all know that no engagement announcement ever happened, that it wasn’t until almost a full 4 years later that William deigned to do right by Kate.)

    By March, there were reports of much tension, and the two were famously photographed at an event looking very, very glum and avoiding each other. ( I remember the pictures of them wearing country tweeds.) By April 2007, the cumulative disappointments had created much tension, and it was announced not long afterward that the two had broken up.

    Also, at the same time, Pippa had just graduated and it was reported that J. J. Jardine of the well-to-do Hong Kong Banking Jardines had broken up with her and returned to his family in HK.

    Imagine how high Carole Middleton was flying, with 2 daughters so advantageously favoured, and how low she must have plummeted. For many reasons, when picturing Carole, it’s always as an outrageously ambitious regency mama who lives for nothing more than to advance her daughters into upper crust society.

    • LAK says:

      I remember that story, except it was Scotland not Switzerland.

      The creepy details included the fire you mentioned, but also the best room in the house with a double bed and candles set aside for William and Kate.

      • Becks says:

        To LAK:

        Oh good, I’m glad someone other than myself remembers this story.

        That same article also mentioned the 21st birthday party for William the summer of 2003, which was akin to a slap in the face for Kate. At this point, they were already in an intimate relationship, and Kate was not getting the considerations one expects of a serious boyfriend. Not only did William ignore her at the party, but he also willfully planned a Safari-themed party (because of Jecca) which featured Jecca as his special Guest of Honour. Undoubtedly, she would have felt slighted.

        Some of the not-so-nice things that William put Kate through, and how despite all this, Carole must have advised her to hang in, to put up with, and to laugh it off….it’s a testament to how strong was Carole’s resolve.

      • Citresse says:

        The more news I get on this pre-wedding time between W&K, the more dysfunctional it sounds. What kind of marriage is this? Do William and Kate love each other? Is Kate alone much of the time and then requires her parents ? What is the truth? Is William secretly living with another woman? A man?
        What’s going on?

      • Citresse says:

        Well I guess I’ll answer my own post; no one can answer because no one really knows which explains why this website exists; it’s all gossip and speculation. I’m seriously beginning to believe Kate and William are friends only however Kate wanted the Royal life and produce heirs. William has a life elsewhere which helps to explain why Kate’s parents are always around. If she didn’t have her family, she’d be alone with the hired help much like Diana existed early on in her marriage. It’s no wonder these people get diagnosed with depression.

      • Becks says:

        Citresse:

        There’s plenty of evidence that Kate Middleton loved the IDEA of being with Prince William, 2nd in line to the British Throne, if not the man himself. In his late teens and early 20′s, before those Saxe-Coburg-Gotha genes kicked in, he was considered very dishy.
        Successfully attaching herself to William was a real feather in her cap. For a girl who had no real personal accomplishments, imagine bringing THAT piece of news home to your ambitious, upward-climbing mother!

        William obviously knew he HAD to marry at some point. The fact that he waited until Kate’s 29th year to do it, and reportedly, only after Carole Midddleton pulled him aside and asked him what the hold-up was, speaks to the amount of pressure that was needed for him to pull the trigger. The Palace has also advised him that he needed to either cut Kate loose or commit. He was warned that to drag it out only to break up with her would cast him as a cad who had taken the best years of Kate’s life. This is where I think Carole REALLY helped Kate land Wiliam. I think it was the reluctance to disappoint and cut all ties with the Middletons (who had really seduced him with their treatment of him), as much as any affection he had for Kate. And really, she made the choice easy by just out-lasting and out-waiting every other possible candidate.

        I think Kate is content because she is a person who is not intellectually curious; she is where she wanted to be- snug in the bosom of her mother and family, incubating the future Heirs, having the wealth to not work, to shop, and the time to pamper her hair and body to look good in photographs.

      • Olenna says:

        Excellent summation, Becks.

      • Citresse says:

        Yes thanks Becks.

  43. Becks says:

    Regarding the article I read, I even remember the writer went into great detail, even about the fact that the Middletons spared no expense, that they took great care to, at all times, have a roaring fire in the great stone hearth in order that William would be greeted with a warm and festive family tableau whenever he might appear.

    I imagine they waited around with great expectation, first with excited enthusiasm, then when it becomes clear that William did not bother to call or give any reason, with deflated hopes. I wonder how Carole handled it and what she might have said to Kate.

  44. seesittellsit says:

    Ma Middleton had her hooks well into poor motherless William before Kate established herself. Carole’s appeal to the motherless boy is easily understandable and was a masterstroke on her part. Naturally, Carole is not going to back off now, but consolidate her “position”. Remember, she’s living vicariously through her daughter, who achieved the family dream. Waiting around for William was a necessary strategy, but also kept Kate from growing up and kept her dependent on a mother who got her where Kate is today. All very interesting and I’m sure that privately the Windsors have quite a bit to say about it, but there isn’t much they can do about it. The really interesting part will emerge the day Kate decides she’s had enough of being more Carole’s daughter than William’s wife, and William’s craving for mothering is finally sated. It could never happen, of course, but then again, it could. Then we’ll see some fireworks.

  45. Susan says:

    Kind of reminds me of when my mom comes to town…my husband is like “woo hoo!” Because it means old school home cooked food and a second set of hands to help me with kids and he can go golfing without guilt…lol…

    But seriously I have always seen Kate as the weakest member of this herd. I don’t think she’s ever had the self esteem or aggressive sass of other Middleton sibs…and I think that compounded by her lack of friends and people she can trust and loneliness with William gone doing his “pursuits”…I think ironically this is win-win for all of them albeit in different ways.

  46. Sarah says:

    When I had a small child and my husband was gone all the time, I liked to visit with family and went to my parent’s ranch often. I can only guess, but I would bet her family are the only people she trusts now (especially with a husband that may or may not have ladies on the side).

  47. Anguishedcorn says:

    It’s the sheer number of times “cheese on toast” has been said in the post and following comments that has me completely entertained.

  48. Sam says:

    Meh. If they’re happy with things this way, so be it. William’s happy, Kate’s happy, Baby George is, Carole feels useful- everyone wins. Kate didn’t grow up in a royal home so has no idea how to run a large household, and her mother (who clearly has superior organizational and management skills – when will this woman be credited for this instead of being called ‘manipulative’?) is happy to help.

    Unless Pippa or James marries royalty she won’t need to be involved in their households to such an extent. Yes Kate (and William) are a bit infantile; well if so I feel comfortable knowing someone capable like Carole is on the scene to oversee things. She’s got the free time so more power to her.

    As far as Charles goes, he’s busy with his work and taking on more responsibility with the Queen’s advancing age. If he has the time to pop up to Amner Hall I’m sure he’s welcome – but what time doesn he have? It’s a bit disruptive to lug George and the new baby down to London just to see him via appointment.

    This is why I see nothing wrong with the young family bonding heavily with Kate’s parents; when George and sib are older (teens) their parents will be Prince/Princess of Wales and (hopefully) fully working royals. They’ll likely be living most of the time in London and be spending a lot more time with Charles, esp George who as heir will need training and exposure to the life and job he’ll have. The Middleton influence will fade then, so I see nothing wrong with them getting their time in with the kids now. I’m sure they’re aware of this.

  49. ls says:

    Nothing to say about the article itself: it works for them so c’est la vie.

    Could I possibly get any information about the skirt suit Kate has on in the second photo at the bottom of her walking with her mum? I love the suit – very sharp. Thanks in advance

    • LAK says:

      There is a website called whatkatewore.com that tags all her clothes. I’d recommend a search through their archive for the ID.

  50. Delores Smile says:

    Sounds like heaven to have a party atmosphere at home. I think Prince William resents the hurt Princess Dianna felt at three people in her marriage to Prince Charles. I think secretly Prince William is deliberately cutting Prince Charles loose because of Princess Diana’s tears over Camilla.

  51. wolfpup says:

    I’ve mulled over many of the opinions that have been expressed over family ties, and time spent together as a family unit, and I want to express my own opinion. I have four children! Three are in their thirties, and my youngest son (the joy of my old age, I tell him) is in his early twenties. How delightful this journey with them has been. We all live in the same city, including with their father who is my ex. However, I am very careful to be independent, and have my own life and interests (because we are all unique), to give them room to fall in love and commit to other relationships that will bring them as much joy as my own little family was, when I was their age.

    I am thinking that perhaps one’s child-rearing goals have so much to do with how we encourage our children (that’s all that we can *really* do). My main goal was to develop independent thinking, and to accomplish this, I endeavored to be responsive and empathetic to their needs and ideas, yet I was also willing to be a leader (always calling for developing a greater maturity out of love). I tried to be firm, but kind ( as Julie Andrew’s sang), and children respond well to that. I gave them every opportunity that I could to make their own choices, from the way they expressed themselves, as well as respecting that we would have different opinions, and we could learn from one another. I wanted to teach them to trust me, so I let them make choices, choices with consequences (along with my advice) – and darn it, after a few bad choices, they wanted to hear what I had to say about things. Yet it is so important to them to be exactly who they are: it makes them feel pride to be who they are.

    We have each other’s back, thick and then, but there is mostly enjoyment, rather than expectations and demands – the oldest three, are at a busy time in their lives. It’s all good – I am free and a only need a fun kind of responsible for them. But you still worry…even when they are adults, because their happiness means so much. At my age, I’ve learned how to be happy myself.

    Everyone has varying goals and dreams for their children.

    • ArtHistorian says:

      That sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your children.

      I wish I had a mother who could have losened her clutches when I became and adult. She still wants to decide what I wear and how I decorate my home, etc – and I’m in my late 30s. She even tried to prevent me from studying in England! It has been a constant battle for me to keep her at bay ever since I became and adult and it is beyond exhausting. I know that her illness exaggerates her bad traits but fighting tooth and nail with her about every independant choice I make is hard and tiresome.

      • wolfpup says:

        You need to stop letting her harm you Artie. I’m sorry to be so direct, but this is really not a case of, “in so far as possible.” I have a somewhat destructive mother – she really doesn’t know better, plus she’s envious… (Bitterly, I’m thinking, she wanted to destroy my life, so she wasn’t jealous anymore…like Snow White, huh?) I personally had to get so angry, that I stopped it from happening to me. My mother may still have old behavior, but I accept that some people have earthquakes, or fires, that happen in their life – this was my challenge. It took forever to figure out that my life matters *to me* the most – it matters to me, more than it does to her, more than it does to anyone. You just can’t let any more of the awesome get away – {there are birds singing} – you will be just fine, I know it. Keep her at a distance from your heart (I don’t mean to presume).

      • ArtHistorian says:

        I have learned to deal with it – keeping a distance and only engage in a fight when I can’t get out of it. However, she has almost no impulse control because of her illness so it so she’ll never be able to change her behaviour. I am, however, not prepared to cut all contact.

      • wolfpup says:

        I didn’t mean all contact – merely expectations… I understand the wistfulness, having lived it, but eventually I decided to open to my inner mother, the mother that nurtures me. I found this great force in nature as well; and in the hearts of a few. Mostly though, it’s about caring for myself.

  52. Dama79 says:

    In the beginning I was a huge fan of William and Kate’s and thought they could really do some good. Him a military pilot and her finally have a platform to change a lot of things for the better. Also I don’t why it took me this long to figure this out ( I pride myself on being semi- intelligent). Kate must have been an abused child. Not physical but mentally. To always do exactly what you mother says down to the letter, ever since grade school age? Even the best behaved child is somewhat rebellious in boarding school or university. No not her because her mother always had her eyes on the brass ring. There’s stories of Carole always making the other moms in her village feel not quite good enough. Also when Kate and Pippa went to boarding school it was said they were alway immaculately turned out and Carole would sew name tapes in all there clothes. Really?!? My mom was a good mom but she did the laundry marker thing before we went to camp and I do it with my kids. Kate’s pretty much in an arranged marriage where she looks over at night at that snoring bald man thinking I can’t leave or they’ll take my kids and it’s not like she can talk to her mom about it she’s drank the Kool Aid big time. It’s just sad though because rather than using her time doing real charity work, she zones out in front of the tv. She worked so hard to get in golden jail cell didn’t she?

    • FLORC says:

      I was a huge fan too. Then the curtain was pulled back. What I saw and what I read were 2 different realities.

      And gilded cage yes. At times I pitty her, but she made her choice. She knew who William was and why no one else would marry him. There was a goal though and she put all her eggs in that basket.

  53. Irishserra says:

    It makes sense William would eagerly embrace a mother figure in his life. He lost his too early and Kate is perhaps not as nurturing as he would want. So Carol makes up for the deficiency.

    My husband lost his mother when he was 3 years old and while I try to be really balanced when dealing with him, he does at times require more mothering than I’m willing to give and I’m happy to let my mom take on the task. She loves mothering him and he loves to be mothered by her.

    It seems no matter the age, men will always be drawn to their mothers.

  54. CL says:

    Here is what I don’t underhand about Will and Kate: they have both (well, more the Middletons than he) been planning for this marriage for a long time, and neither seem prepared for it. I’m not just talking about living together, the day in and out stuff, but the bigger stuff that is unique to their situation. They both have a great model in Diana for how to appear thankful and do good for others. Since apparently Carole has hoped for this marriage since Kate was an embryo, why on earth has she not been “Princess training” Kate from a young age? The wedding is not the end of the race – it is the starting gun, and Kate should have been prepared to ace her Dutchess duties. Instead she seems to have stalled in newlywed mode, still unable to run a household staff or how to have a strong presence for her charities of choice. Of course, it’s been four years and she still struggles with keeping her dresses down in the wind.

    It appears that Carole simply trained her in how to land William, not in how to have a successful marriage, both privately and publicly. With a stronger woman by his side, William could be a better Royal, actually fulfilling his mother’s legacy, instead of vacationing all over it.

    • ArtHistorian says:

      I have the impression that William was hard to land for Kate. They may have be so focused to get him to the altar that the rest wasn’t considered. And the reality of any marriage (or job) is always different from the preconceptions. I think it is hard for Kate to adjust the reality of royal life now that it is experienced from the inside.

  55. notasugarhere says:

    Palace has confirmed Harry is leaving the army at the end of June. He will not become a full-time working royal. How could he when William refuses to?