Mindy Kaling threw her racist brother under the bus, claims they’re ‘estranged’

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Yesterday, I wrote about Mindy Kaling’s douchey brother Vijay and how Vijay claims he did a half-assed social experiment by “pretending to be black” to see if it was easier for him to get into medical school. To hear Vijay tell it, his social experiment was a wild success because one medical school accepted him, even though Vijay had claimed to be African-American (with a name like Vijay Jojo Chokal-Ingam). Anyway, Vijay sounded like a douchebag and – just my opinion – pretty racist. I wrote at the end of the post, “Ugh. Mindy, come get your brother.”

Here’s the thing: I actually like Mindy a lot and I think she has interesting and often thought-provoking things to say about race, feminism, sexism, sizeism, the media and Hollywood power. Does Mindy get it 100% right all the time? No, but I believe she actually deeply considers what she says publicly and I believe she really is a tolerant and small-l liberal woman. Yesterday, I would have said that Mindy was probably justifiably horrified by Vijay’s “experiment”. And as it turns out, she is. She’s throwing him under the bus, publicly:

Mindy Kaling’s rep tells Us Weekly: “Mindy has been estranged from her brother for years. She was not aware of his decision to apply to medical school under a different name and race.”

[From Us Weekly]

Ouch. Just… ouch. Considering the brevity of the statement, I have to think that this is Mindy’s attempt to cut all ties altogether. She’s not her douche-brother’s keeper. We shouldn’t judge her on his shenanigans. Still, that’s got to be hard for her. She and Vijay lost their mom several years ago too, and it’s a loss Mindy still feels very deeply. It must suck to not have a relationship with her brother now too.

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Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

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72 Responses to “Mindy Kaling threw her racist brother under the bus, claims they’re ‘estranged’”

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  1. Jenns says:

    I don’t blame her at all. He is using her name for attention. The dude is a total douche and I would want everyone to know that I have nothing to do with him.

    • Erinn says:

      I feel bad for her having to deal with the media attaching her name to him, too. MAYBE he’ll grow up and realize what a complete tool he is… but a lot of the time, people just don’t.

    • Pinky says:

      “Mindy Kaling threw her racist brother under the bus.”

      She needs to throw him a lot farther than that.

    • claire says:

      I saw he’s got on his Twitter bio: Mindy Kaling’s brother, and links to her Twitter. That is so unbelievably tacky.

  2. Nya says:

    That’s the sort of crap my own brother would pull. He became one of those ultra libertarian Ron Paul loving fools in high school and has been that way for like 5 years now. I love him, and I wouldn’t say we’re estranged completely, but we only ever talk during holidays when I go home. 🙁

  3. ali.hanlon says:

    Mmmm

    Siblings can be difficult.

    Sometimes it’s best to move on.

  4. Santia says:

    Yeah, that’s where I’d throw him, too. And I’m glad she took no ownership of his nonsense.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Agree. I don’t think she needs to apologize or explain. Just say, “yup, he’s an a$$,” and move on.

    • Lindy79 says:

      I don’t even consider it throwing under the bus, that to me implies both parties were at fault and one decides to sell the other one out. This is not what is happening here.

  5. Kiddo says:

    I didn’t know they lost their mother, but this makes sense now. He’s acting out. I’d imagine the dynamic of sibling rivalry was mediated and filtered through the mother, where he may have been top dog. Now he has resorted to courting attention through negative behavior. The fact that he is estranged from his sister must piss him off even more, especially since he is eclipsed by her stardom.

    • Esmom says:

      I agree with you to a certain degree although it’s hard to say if he wouldn’t have done the med school stunt if their mom were still alive. I’d think being eclipsed by Mindy’s fame might be more at the root of his acting out than his grief over his mom’s passing.

      • Kiddo says:

        I only meant that there might have been more of a balance of adoration with her alive. Now there isn’t.

      • perplexed says:

        I think his mom was alive when he did the med school stunt, wasn’t he? Didn’t he do this in the ’90s? He’s 38 now.

      • Esmom says:

        Ah, Kiddo, got it. It didn’t register with me that his acting out is the book stuff and not the med school stunt. I didn’t read yesterday’s story, which presumably has more details.

    • Betti says:

      I agree with most of what you say but in my experience with Indian culture, the male child(ren) is the centre of the family and is put on a pedestal. He is very much acting out because she is famous and probably more wealthy than he is and this is something that he’s not used to. He clearly wants to be famous and maybe resents that she hasn’t helped him or given him a role in her show.

      • Pri says:

        Um, Betti, I think you’re stretching a bit there. Please, do not make sweeping generalizations. Are you Indian? I am, and can tell you my brother is not on a pedestal, especially when we went through his annoying teenage years.

      • Kitten says:

        So your comment actually supports what Kiddo said. The loss of his mother may have served to exacerbate an already contentious dynamic between his sister and him.

        Maybe it’s not a typical Indian culture thing, but I could certainly see that being an issue in their family. Obviously, there’s some kind of bad blood between the siblings, whether it’s due to jealousy, competition, or simply mutual dislike–something isn’t great there.

      • Nina says:

        Yeah I’m North Indian and that is such a ridiculous stereotype. Additionally, India doesn’t have just ONE culture, it’s one of the most diverse countries in the world. It’s comprised of 2000 separate ethnic groups, more than 800 languages (22 official languages) derived from two completely distinct linguistic families, every religion under the sun, and innumerable distinct customs and traditions. So exactly which culture were you referring to? I love how when it comes to certain minorities anyone’s uninformed opinion is acceptable.

      • CN says:

        I too have observed what Betti is talking about within Indian culture. People are allowed to comment on their experiences even if they don’t come from a particular culture.

      • perplexed says:

        Maybe he’s the way he is because of his parents’ economic privilege. It seems like he grew up wealthy, and that kind of privilege can sometimes lead to a certain kind of brattiness (not always, but, you know, sometimes).

        Reese Witherspoon’s parents were similarly educated and wealthy like Mindy Kaling’s parents, and I believe her brother did some questionable things too. I don’t know if he’s envious of his sister in the way Mindy’s brother might be, but in both cases the sister is highly successful while the brother lands himself in some kind of trouble, and the common denominator I see there is privilege.

        It’s hard to say why anybody turns out the way they do.

        Because of the themes Mindy Kaling deals with on her show and the fact that her parents were okay with her being an actress and being in Hollywood, I kind of got the impression her parents were a little more relaxed when it comes to tradition so I’m not sure if they really would have put the brother/son on a pedestal.

        I’ll admit I’m a little baffled as to why he didn’t finish medical school if his mother was a doctor. He had all of the advantages needed to succeed there. If he only had a year left, he probably could have finished out the degree, taken the Boards which his mom probably could have helped him with, and at least had the qualification even if didn’t want to go on to do internal medicine (the next stage?). He had the advantages to finish out the degree even if he’s not that bright.

      • Nina says:

        @CN…again you refer to “indian culture” as if it’s singular.

        Yes, people can speak to their experiences, but what an informed person does NOT do is allow their “experience” to arbitrarily judge people they clearly know nothing about (as evidenced by your ignorant insistence on referring to a single Indian culture) and make blanket statements about diverse populations as if they conform to a single set of values and traditions. Mindy Kaling and her brother grew up in an educated upper middle class home, where both children had equal opportunity to education and success. There is no evidence that there was any male bias present.

  6. Talie says:

    The story blew up much bigger than I thought it would, which I’m sure did not make her happy since her TV show is under the threat of cancellation.

    • pagirl says:

      Oh no! I didn’t know that about her show. Do you watch it? She has kind of a tenuous relationship with her brother on there, too, and I’m wondering how much of that is derived from real life.

    • Pinky says:

      Maybe growing up with her brother is why she exclusively prefers white guys. It’s starting to make sense….

    • Chichi says:

      I assumed the reason she sped through Mindy and Danny getting together was because she realised a show based on romcoms has a very definite shelf life. We have the will-they wont-they stage and then we have the first flushes of life. After that it turns into your typical family based or work based sitcom. And thats partly the shows fault. I always said it should have been more invested in introducing us properly to the other female characters and their love lives. Ifthat had been properly handled we would have more interest in their romance story lines. I mean just look at how they wasted Tamras hook up with Morgan. Would it have killed the writers to shift some focus from Mindy onto Tamra so we can relate to her better? And where did the other office ladies go to? Mindy Kaling created this problem and now its almost certain the show will not be renewed. I’m not sure I care enough anymore to tune in to see what Mindys folks look like or how Danny is with the new baby.

      • Debbie says:

        Really I thought season three was its best season. They did what no other show ever has made a will they won’t they couple more interesting after they got together.

        Plus I never considered it a romcom show, it was a show about a woman obsessed with romcoms who was learning and growing and realizing how stupid and unfulfilling romcoms are. They are constantly poking holes in romcoms. It’s what makes the show great, especially the last season and 1/2 she wanted something real not the romantic fairytale.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        Chichi, I don’t see the show that way. I agree with Debbie’s interpretation.

        Plus, in so many ways the character on show is a BOSS. She kicks ass in the operating room, with MIA blasting. She loves a guy, but she choses to leave and go to the other side of the country for her work because she isn’t ashamed to be ambitious in her career. She could play the move for an engagement, but is clear that the move is because of her career goals, not to win the ring from a man. She decides to open a clinic across the country because SHE wants it, and makes the decision without her significant other.

        She loves the guy, but she loves herself more. I chose me, 2015 style.

      • Ange says:

        I stopped watching several episodes ago. It just became too mean spirited, Mindy’s character had just become a selfish monster who did whatever she wanted regardless of who she had to steamroll and Danny was no better. They barely seemed to like each other, let alone have enough love to sustain having a baby. Her getting pregnant and her behaviour around starting the clinic was the last straw for me.

  7. maybeiamcrazy says:

    I don’t understand the “experiment”. What does medical school have to do with race?

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Look back to the Mindy thread yesterday, and it’s all explained.

      • maybeiamcrazy says:

        Okay, I looked. I am not American so i don’t know about “affirmative action” but i don’t understand why American colleges ask for race in the first place.

      • Kiddo says:

        Well, there are a number of reasons: To establish statistical analysis of higher education applications and to take a stab at determining how successful and motivational High Schools attended were. Since people will hire or admit people who most resemble their own culture with familiarity, and since there is a history of denials to others ‘not-like’, particularly those cast historically as second class or lesser than humans, there was measure put into place to ensure that colleges don’t fall into the habit of only seeing ‘ what’s like me is good, or the best’. That’s where affirmative action came from. You only have to read recent news articles about police and associated comments to recognize that there remains prejudice against people based on race. This attempts to balance opportunity.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Oh, sorry. I’ll give my very simple and probably flawed version: “Affirmative action” is a program designed to make getting a job or getting admitted to college more fair and balanced. For so long in our history, there was discrimination for both of these things (plus others) against people of color and women. So the government imposed quotas on schools and companies to insure that each had a certain representative population from these groups. It has fans and non-fans, naturally. Mindy’s brother believes it gives an unfair advantage to blacks, so he did this lame “experiment” which really showed nothing.

      • maybeiamcrazy says:

        Oh, now i get it. Thanks @GNAT @Kiddo

    • louise says:

      My doctors(I have lots) are black, asian, Hispanic, and also white, so I don’t see why her brother would have trouble because of his race.

      • Debbie says:

        He didn’t . He had trouble because he is an idiot. Or he didn’t do the work required to get into medical school and instead of acknowledging that fact he blames affirmative action. He then proceeds to put out false and dangerous lies about the law.

        Which goes back to my first point he is an idiot.

      • lucy2 says:

        Exactly Debbie. If he’d done the work and done well enough in grades/testing, he would have gotten in. Instead it was easier to place blame elsewhere.

      • Ash says:

        “He had trouble because he is an idiot.”

        This is the only explanation.

  8. Newyorking says:

    The only reason this is a story everywhere is because he is Mindy’s brother. What a douchebag and famewhore, and way to show down your famous sister just because you are not.

    • belle de jour says:

      I wonder if he sees the irony & the hypocrisy: making a protest about people receiving special treatment to get into med school… while the only reason people might pay attention to his book is because he’s getting special publicity treatment as her brother.

      Good for her distancing herself when necessary, and in a dignified manner, as well.

  9. Naddie says:

    I want to see more films with her.

  10. Tracy says:

    I don’t think she “threw him under the bus”. I think she just wasn’t going to play.

    • Debbie says:

      Exactly. I was wondering where the bus throwing was. To me she was like yeah we don’t speak, which he made clear, and I didn’t know he did this. She was in high school. Basically this is on him I have nothing to do with it or him, except we share parents, don’t associate me with his disgusting behavior.

      Which to be fair you have to be pretty ignorant to lump them together.

    • Original T.C. says:

      +1

      That terse statement comes across loud and clear that Mindy does not get along with her brother and really has had no positive interactions with him for a long time. That’s not throwing him under the bus, it’s being honest about their lack of a relationship.

    • lucy2 says:

      I agree, it’s not throwing him under the bus, it’s her clearly saying she had nothing to do with it, and that’s the end.
      It’s sad they are estranged, especially since she was very close to her mom and it must be hard to have the remaining family splintered like that. Hopefully this stupid stunt of his will fail, he’ll grow up and accept some responsibility.

  11. cc says:

    This is not throwing him under the bus?? The headline is really misleading. Throwing someone under the bus means cutting ties with a friend for selfish reasons. You can’t throw someone you are estranged from under the bus. This is just stating that they are estranged, unless you are saying she is lying

    • cc says:

      Now I see estranged is in quote marks- are you saying she is lying about it?

      • Debbie says:

        Why would anyone assume she is lying? My god her own brother calls her his nemis and bashes her constantly. He is even apparently shopping a book in which all he wants to do is bash her. I think it’s safe to assume they are estranged.

  12. msw says:

    That’s sad. Family drama sucks.

  13. Jade says:

    Yea I like Mindy, I won’t expect to hold her accountable for her brother’s mentality and shenanigans. I think her statement was sufficient.

  14. Franca says:

    Didn’t Mindy too have a few racist remarks in her sitcom? I remember one in her first episode.

    Anyway, I can’t imagine evee cutting ties with my sister, no matter what she does.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      You should meet my sister. Your imagination might expand. Lol

      • Franca says:

        Oh, I know some siblings can be horrible, I’m really sorry if your sister is one of them.
        I’m very close to my sister, we talk to eachother every day, so not having her in my life seems horrible. I don’t know what she would have to do for me to cut all ties with her.

      • me says:

        LOL same here. My sister changed drastically once she got married. Her husband is the devil. She became just like him.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        I’m just teasing. I love my sister and have a relationship with her, in spite of her constant blood-sucking, soul-crushing drama and manipulative behavior. I still love her.

    • louise says:

      That’s great for you to be so close with your sister. I could definitely live with just seeng mine once in a great while. I’m not a bank

      • Ange says:

        I have two brothers who never had the time of day for me, I see them at most once a year. We don’t fight but I also can completely understand going through life without your siblings.

  15. Amy says:

    I don’t think calling it ‘throwing him under the bus’ is appropriate so much as her not wanting to deal with his bs. Now if it’s revealed she helped him apply to these schools under false pretenses and is now feigning innocence THAT would be throwing him under the bus.

    He sounds like a douche and a painfully self-absorbed and spoiled one at that.

  16. AlmondJoy says:

    I don’t feel that Mindy should be held responsible for the things her brother has done. Thank goodness the world doesn’t know MY brother! My sister and I are total opposites from him, and we’re always embarrassed to hear of his actions. Like Mindy’s brother, he’s an adult and he makes his own bad decisions. Has nothing to do with us.

    • OhDear says:

      I think she would have inevitably been asked about it, so it was probably better for her to shut the chatter about the situation down early.

    • minime says:

      I think she shouldn’t have to make any statement about it because even if she and her brother would be best friends, it wouldn’t really have to mean that she agrees or supports all of his ideas and behaviours. She should not be hold responsible for the opinion of an adult that happens to be her family. How many people do we endearing love and totally disagree with, specially when it comes to family? You don’t have to be an enabler to still love and protect someone…that’s so much black and white perspective. It’s more of a problem that people take this to reflect on her when actually it doesn’t. I understand why she did the statement, but it’s pretty sad.

    • word says:

      Totally agree. You are not responsible for what your siblings do.

    • AlmondJoy says:

      OhDear: good point. She probably did it to avoid the questions that were no doubt going to be asked.

      minime: I agree with you. But I think she’s been receiving tons of hate tweets and people are asking her to speak out.. I guess she felt obligated to make a statement.

      word: sad situation, isn’t it?

  17. Cinderella says:

    I couldn’t find pictures of them together, so I believe she is not close to him. You can love ’em, but you don’t have to like ’em.

  18. word says:

    A lot of sibling relationships fall apart after a parent passes away. It happened to me. Parents are like referees when it comes to their children. They mitigate and solve issues between their children. When a parent passes away (especially if that parent was the one who was the referee), the relationship you have with your siblings changes A LOT.

  19. CB says:

    I’m sorry I am evil but this is funny. How the hell the school didn’t figure it out from his name…omigod. I cannot take life so seriously where I’m going to be appalled by this.

    I think deep deep down in places none of you want to talk about, you think it’s funny too.

    • Inconceivable! says:

      He changed his name to “Jojo” and applied with the same GPA, same grades, same extra-curriculars, different race…..and was accepted.
      How many parents are going to have their kids try this on college applications next year? Idiots.

  20. leahpet says:

    There’s always at least one douche in every family. In mine, it’s my brother, so I feel for you, Mindy.

  21. vilebody says:

    Yes, the brother’s actions were vile, but I will say one thing in his defense (hear me out!). I worked at an admissions office one semester and was shocked at the “maximum quotas” for Asians and Southeast Asians. Admissions officers would look at an Asian kid’s resume and would react with an “oh look another high SAT valedictorian Asian who plays the violin,” and toss it aside. I was shocked that a school which prides itself on diversity could be so insensitive.

    Unfortunately, Mindy’s brother decided to famewhore it out instead of bringing attention to serious issues, but I thought I would share my experience nonetheless. Just because he isn’t black, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have to deal with discrimination.