Jennifer Aniston broke up with John Mayer because he Twittered too much

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I’m a firm believer that Twitter is evil. It is nothing more than a tool for narcissists who assume everyone wants to be in the know about their every thought and deed. And that we’re all as absolutely fascinated by the excruciating minutiae of their lives as they are.

I had a friend who used his Twitter on Facebook (which is the only reason I saw it, since I refuse to have anything to do with that nonsense). Here’s a sampling of his thoughts over the course of a one hour period. “Just ate a PB & J sanwich [sic]. Gonna play some Madden now.” “I wonder which instrument I like better the cello or the violin?” (He was not a musician). “Winter is so cold in NYC.” “I have the best roommates were [sic] making Chinese food.” WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE CARE? Okay, done with the rage caps.

So it really comes as no surprise to me that Twitter could break up a relationship. I’m sure it’ll be responsible for the next world war in some way. This is no biggie, in the grand scheme of all the tragedy that Twitter will inevitably lead to. Apparently, Twitter is what brought down Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer. His addiction to it, to be specific. John’s Twitter feed is almost annoying as my aforementioned friend’s. Just lots of self-importance and self-love. I’m really glad Aniston called it quits. At this point I’d dump a guy just for knowing what Twitter is.

People claiming to be friends of the actress have told Star magazine that she finished the affair after discovering Mayer, 31, spent hours on the networking website, despite telling her he was too busy to get in touch with her. The pair started dating in April 2008, but have broken up several times. However, they appeared inseparable at the Oscars last month.

A source claimed Aniston decided Mayer was not committed enough to her and called time on their romance having found hourly updates on his Twitter page. The source said: “John suddenly stopped calling her or returning her emails and when she would finally catch up with him, he’d say: ‘I’ve been so busy with work. I’m sorry I haven’t had time to call you back.” The source added: “Jen was fuming. There he was, telling her he didn’t have time for her and yet his page was filled with Twitter updates.

“Every few hours, sometimes minutes, he’d update with some stupid line. And in her mind, she was like ‘He has time for all this Twittering, but he can’t send me a text, an email, make a call?’.” It has also been claimed musician John made no attempt to cover up his Twitters. The source said: “He didn’t even deny it. He knew he was avoiding her. So when she called him on it and ended things, he just said OK, and that he was sorry it didn’t work out.

“He took the break-up like a man.” Even so, shortly after Aniston’s call, Mayer’s Twitter update read: ‘This heart didn’t come with instructions.’

[From the Telegraph]

Well of course he had time for Twitter and not return his girlfriend’s calls. Twitter feeds into John Mayer’s epic narcissism on a huge level: his useless thoughts are instantly regaled by thousands of people. John’s ego blooms. Calling Jennifer back? Thousands of people aren’t going to respond with e-pats on the head for that. Unless he Twitters about it – which I’m guessing he did.

Clearly, John is nothing more than the worst stereotype from “He’s Just Not That Into You.” I hope Jen is done with him forever, without exceptions.

I’m so mad at Twitter.

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37 Responses to “Jennifer Aniston broke up with John Mayer because he Twittered too much”

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  1. teri says:

    He just wasn’t into her.

  2. Annie says:

    Yea, twitter’s ridiculous.

    Though John’s isn’t that bad. Want overtweeters? Demi and Ashton. They make me want to vomit everywhere. There has never been a more narcissistic pair and that’s saying something….

  3. HEB says:

    “Twitter feeds into John Mayer’s epic narcissism on a huge level: his useless thoughts are instantly regaled by thousands of people.”


  4. andrea says:

    “People claiming to be friends of the actress” that line was enough for me. how dumb can people be to believe such a story? if you believe everything you read then at the same time they’re engaged and she’s pregnant.

  5. gg says:

    I’m seeing narcissism all around me lately. Suddenly the financial downturn and Dr. Drew on tv have made things like this stand out.
    Such indulgence of one’s ego, and oversharing, cannot be healthy. It seems disguised as being in touch with ourselves but is actually the reverse.

    I hope this ubertwittering addiction tires out quickly – people predictably doing this while driving is bad news for us all.

    that said, have a nice day now. 🙂

  6. gg says:

    footnote: Dr. Drew Pinsky discusses celebrity and narcissism and how they are hand in hand with addictive personality disorder.

  7. gg says:

    on his show. (sorry! 😛 )

  8. Bodhi says:

    I’m on Twitter, but I don’t check it or update it that often. I can totally see Mayer being all about it though. He is already so egotistical he must jut love the idea of a bunch of people clinging to his every thought 🙄

  9. LisaT says:

    I don’t believe none of it. This is the way they decided to end the phony relationship.
    I find it funny Mayer didn’t send his people out to denie this story since he denied the “tell-all” story.

  10. Fiona says:

    Is she a moron or what?The guy D-U-M-P-E-D (capital letters!) her, stoped contacting at all, and she still wants a ” confirmation ” by text that she was dumped?
    How psychopathic can this b*… be,before being locked in a nuts house?Good Lord!!!

  11. patty anne says:

    Everyone can ASSume that is what occured, however no one but those involved know the truth to it. Personally, it’s their business and i don’t really care one way or the other. Being single isn’t a punnishment it’s a state of being. Better off happily alone than miserable with the wrong cheating basturd

  12. saffron says:


    I am sorry that you felt humiliated once or twice after being “dumped” but please don’t transfer your feelings of shame onto a celebrity.

    Just look back on your life, realize you could do things differently in the future and get on with it.

    Don’t beat yourself – or a celebrity you don’t know – up about it.


  13. turth-SF says:

    March 24th, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    footnote: Dr. Drew Pinsky discusses celebrity and narcissism and how they are hand in hand with addictive personality disorder

    gg, Dr. Drew Pinsky is one the most narcisstic man out there, he talks about celebrity and narcissism, yet he get a show where he treats d-list celebrities on f-cking tv. That Attention whore just want to get the same recognition as those narcisstic celebrities, yet he wants us to believe that having a PH-D seperates him from the masses. Pot, meet kettle.

  14. Ggirl says:

    Who give’s a rat’s a**?

    B-O-R-I-N-G! Doesn’t this chick have anything else to offer the public besides tidbits on her non-existent love life?

  15. someone says:

    I don’t believe this at all..whatever the reason, we..the public will probably never know, but the papz can sure make up a lot of stupid stories…

  16. sarcra says:

    I have a Twitter but I rarely check it or update… it’s sort of dumb! John Mayer and Ashton Kutcher both post updates way too often… do they not have some other work to get to? I guess that’s why I haven’t seen Ashton in anything lately… too busy Twittering (Tweeting? Whatever, I don’t care.)

  17. Mairead says:

    @ Bodhi – don’t worry, you do have some good company on Twitter; Stephen Fry is one of the leading twitterererrrers (?), as is a number of other nice actors and writers 😉


    Teh internetz stole JA’s man! LMAO!

  18. Wonder Woman says:

    Oh come on, who looks more pathetic here the moron or the one dating the moron?

  19. Kia says:

    I agree with Fiona-she has to be a moron. The guy dumped her by text. He wouldn’t get a second chance. Jen is just despert and don’t feel good about her self.

  20. geronimo says:

    Mairead – LMAO! she’s just surrounded by stealers…

  21. the original kate says:

    twittering is stupid and so obnoxious.

  22. Bodhi says:

    lol Mairead!

  23. Mairead says:

    LOL – I know, it would seem that she really is a target for these man-muggers; sitting there all pretty and shiny, tweeting sweet-nothings in their ears/screens 😈

    I’ve just heard from Himself (a committed twitterer) that Bill Bailey (*worship worship*) has just joined the ranks 😯

    Between himself (natch) Bill Bailey, Stephen Fry and Robert Llewellyn (Kryten off Red Dwarf), I’m starting to get seriously tempted to share my innermost workings with the tweetosphere.

    Better practice:
    “Had breakfast” 😉

  24. lisa says:

    Twitter, facebook and all those lame internet “networking” sites are just another excuse to put your face out there to ooh and ahh over. Bottom line it draws the creepies.
    I’m not a fan of Jen, but I kind of feel for her in the fact she can’t keep relationship going whether it be her fault or his. It’s a bit sad, really.

  25. anastasiabeaverhausen says:

    They broke up because his contract was up, duh.

  26. Maritza says:

    John’s twitter is so lame, I like Tina Fey’s is quite funny.

  27. nashnash says:

    Kia – are you a psychiatrist? How can you say Aniston doesn’t feel good about herself? This story might not even be true! Seriously, you and Fiona call Aniston moronic, yet I find it just as moronic that people are always ready to believe any story even if it meant they can bash someone they don’t know anything about.

  28. gg says:

    I understand about Pinsky, but I still think it’s a good thing he is doing. I like to watch.

  29. teleski says:

    Did anyone really believe that this pair was going to last? A flash in the pan. Meyer probably has a new girlfriend and Aniston has her dogs.

  30. Feebee says:

    A twat who tweets too much on twitter?

    Mayer doesn’t exactly come across as a mature 31 year old so all the better for Jen to move on from the relationship or contract and get back to work. Though for the life of me I can’t understand why a 40 year old with her publicity issues and past relationships would do a movie called The Baster and all it’s connatations.

  31. Fiona says:

    “To dump or to be dumped”, a Shakespearian question…Who cares?Sometimes you dump , others you are dumped (which is better in a way , because you won´t have resented people wishing you bad)…
    To be moronic is to run to the press saying “I wasn´t dumped, it was the opposite”, like a 10 years old kid…

  32. Liz says:

    I like twitter for live-blogging events, or some professional people with similar interests who share article links and thoughts, but I guess that’s about it.

  33. AppleGirl says:

    She needs to find a mature man on her level. She dates guys who are either too good looking for her (brad) or too young (john) for her. Thats a recipe for always being dumped or always being used.

    She needs to date guys closer to her age and not so pretty or she will always set herself up to be a laughing stock. I wish her the best. She deserves true love.

  34. ljj says:

    well, when you are famous there are some positive perks like possibly money; some negative perks are people can read your issues even when you think you look good–it easy to see this one…got to chase men who dont really love you as much as you love them???sorry-just had to say what can be read–

  35. Eddie says:

    you can tell JM is self-absorbed; you can tell that by the way he ‘whisper-sings’

  36. Bettie says:

    I don’t know why John Mayer has such a reputation as a player. He seems to be exceptionally loyal and faithful to his one true love – himself!

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